#i mean. i dont think i actually. just blacked out? but idk. we'll never know

[nerves-nebula]

My little sister has some pretty bad psoriasis sometimes and kids at school spread rumors that she has lice and my mom defended her using racism by saying that’s just what black ppls scalps are like... cuz they have curlier hair which means more oil...

Which is not only an insane thing to believe, but we've KNOWN my sister has psoriasis since she was like 5. Anyway it’s no wonder I had an untreated skin disorder until I was 20 despite how insanely flaky my scalp & face are. my mom is a hella neglectful and racist especially when it comes to hair.

i actually have lotion that works for my face & head now its like medical extra strength this and its just wild cuz all the other normal ointments and shit i tried lasted for like an hour before my face got all fucked up again and my mom was just like. lol whatever. we'll just keep trying normal face care stuff instead of doing even a second of research into it :)

i often think about how you can sometimes kind of tell if a kid is being physically neglected, especially with white parents who dont bother to do their black kids hair right, and its just really sad. i look at old photos of myself as a kid and im like... why didnt anyone do anything about this.. and then i remember that time when a black lady stopped my mom at a grocery store and offered to do our hair for her.

and my mom just never called that lady cuz idk. too hard i guess??? maybe her pride was wounded? (she spent a lot of time on our hair on occasion. it always sucked and hurt like hell. tortureee) like there were people, random strangers who we didnt even know, who offered to help her!! she didn't even have to go looking for them! a black woman was kind enough to offer to help her just out of the blue and she didn't !!! TAKE THE OFFER!!!

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hey so. its been a while. I havent had a lot of energy these past few weeks and when I did I didnt really wanna spend that energy on this bad book series, but its the weekend and its been wayyyy too long and I need to finish ACOMAF before shit starts falling out of my sieve of a brain. As always, I am motivating myself with the prospect of contuining to work on a proshot of the takarazuka production elisabeth after this, the 2014 flower troupe one specifically ^-^ or maybe I'll watch a fucked up black and white movie from the 20s thats two and a half hours long, we'll see

Today we're reading chapter 53, the precursor to The most infamous chapter 54. Im not gonna lie, I kinda forgot most of what happened last time. There was a mate reveal, Rhysand was being really pathetic which made him hot to me for the first time in about 600 pages of me knowing him, Feyre was super pissed so they sent her to the mountain cabin to cool off a bit and paint, i think thats it

is it just me or is it kinda weird that Feyre is fantasizing about green grass and flowers and flowing rivers when the NC so far has been defined by being a very wintery place. Like yeah, obviously they have seasons in the solar courts but like, theres a lot of mountains which means a lot of snow, its the most nothern court etc

And Feyre didnt like winter in the first book because she associated it with bad times at the cabin so that makes sense but idk. I feel like if youre retconning her so much already you could easily wrie something about how she actually likes winter now that she has the power to withstand it or something but no, sure, have her fantasize about very spring-y weather in the book where the spring court gets demonized to hell and back why not

'[Rhysand] would give me the money for my shop, for what I was offering would cost nothing. Maybe I would sell my paintings to pay him back the money. Because I wanted to do that under any corcumstance, soulmates or not.' I was gonna write something snarky about Feyre in ACOSF but then it hit me that shes never going to have financial independance from Rhysand ever again and now Im just sad and anxious for her

(sry, im too lazy to translate this whole paragraph rn) '[Rhysand and I would do a bunch of fun stuff that couples do.] Never again someones slave or whore.' Its so wild to me that shes saying all this about the guy who made her his slave and whore MULTIPLE TIMES AT THIS POINT. like hey sarah, do you think your readers dont remember all that? do you think constantly calling back to it will make them forget somehow

Ive seen some people describe this book as gaslighting and honestly, its not even that its just lying. this story is just a bunch of lies that keep contradicting or otherwise disturbing eachother because the person telling it isnt even a good liar

Okayyyyy this chapter was a lot shorter than anticipated can you tell i dont plan these out at all but i dont feel like doing more than this and also while I was reading i got a really good idea for an Anastasia AU for a different fandom im in and I keep getting distracted and I wanna start working on it as soon as possible. And also, I'd like to be focused when I finally read that most infamous of chapters, thank you and good afternoon

[rabbittongues]