#i might never come back after this trip bc my abuela is 92 and she’s the reason we’re here
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finally in pr after like ten years and i desperately want to connect w my culture but alas i’m not fluent in spanish and have crippling social anxiety and don’t know what to do
#i wanna learn to cook more puertorican food and stuff but like#i might never come back after this trip bc my abuela is 92 and she’s the reason we’re here#my dad didn’t raise us w the culture#he didn’t speak spanish when i was a kid and i’m ass at learning languages it sucks sm#and i barely know any puerto ricans#and all the ppl i do know are fluent or grew up in the island and it just bums me out#bc i’m happy for them but i’m so#like#jealous#and i don’t want to be it’s such an ugly feeling#anyway i like it here but i’m just#so sad#ppl don’t even believe me that i’m puerto rican sometimes it drives me crazy#and the way ppl invalidate latinos that don’t speak spanish is so hurtful#even tho i criticise myself for not speaking spanish#ugh#just me talking
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