#i miss dr sharon

[teds-asso]

Now I don’t know about you all, but I am a rom-communist. This season has had a lot of highs and lows, but I can feel it in my bones now. This season is going to have an airport running season. Ted’s flight will be called and he will be at the boarding gates ready to go as someone who loves him comes racing through the building to confess their love. Maybe Rebecca, maybe Trent. Most likely it will be all 22 AFC Richmond footballers, their 3 coaches, and all 5 members of staff will go barrelling through Heathrow just to ask Ted not to leave because damn it they love them and their story is not yet over

[crockettmarcel]

i'm going to fucking cry,, after sarah pepper sprayed that dude, dr charles had one missed call + one text from miss goodwin, and one missed call + two texts from noah 🥺

[delicatebarness]

the manuscript | chapter eleven

Summary: It seems Dr. Barnes is having a hard time without Miss Spector's attention.

Warnings: Age Gap. (Dr Barnes: late 40s & Reader: early 20s). Infidelity. Explicit Sexual Content. Rough Sex. Emotion Distress. Alcohol Use. Power Dynamics.

Word Count: 1664

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A/N: I couldn't wait for them any longer. - Please feel free to leave feedback or let me know where and how you want the story to continue, this is just as much yours as mine. - B

The Manuscript: @mostlymarvelgirl | @mrsnikstan | @angelbabyyy99 | @kaithesimps-blog | @julvrs | @mrsstuckyboo | @am-3-thyst | @mcira

Everything: @hallecarey1 | @pattiemac1 | @uhmellamoanna | @scraftsku35 | @ozwriterchick | @sapphirebarnes | @rach2602 | @thetorturedbuckydepartment

Each hour dragged by with an agonizing slowness as the weekend stretched out before James. He sat in his home office, fingers drumming on the desk as he glanced down at his phone for what felt like the hundredth time– no new messages, no calls, no emails. With a deep sigh, a knot of worry tightened in his chest. 

His mind was clouded by thoughts of you, from the moment, he left Marc’s apartment last night. The way you looked at him with such vulnerability, your troubled expression etched across your features. He hoped you would reach out to him today, even if it was just a brief message to let him know you were okay. Yet, he was deafened by your silence. 

He sent a couple of texts, simple and unobtrusive, but you sent no reply. He tried calling, but it went straight to voicemail. He feared drawing unwanted attention if someone else saw the messages causing him to hold off on bombarding you. Sharon hadn’t noticed his distracted state, and even if she did, she would brush off any concern and carry on with her day. 

James stayed home most of Saturday and Sunday, pacing his office and running through scenarios in his mind. Should he drive by the apartment, the frat house? Or, call your brother and check in under some pretense? He was aware he had to be careful. Any overt action could arouse suspicion and lead to questions neither of you was prepared to answer.

The scene from Friday night replayed in his mind. The look in your eyes, the way you trembled with confession. He wanted to comfort you and make things right, but he was powerless in your silence. 

His frustration began bubbling over by Sunday evening. How could you just disappear without a word? He ran a hand through his hair, he tried to shake off the anger and focus on what he would do when he saw you again. Didn’t you realize how much you meant to him? How much he was worried about you?

~

As Monday morning came, James sat at his desk early, staring at the door and waiting. A glass of whiskey nursed in his hand as every tick of the clock intensified his emotions. His mind raced with worry and anger, he was furious with you for making him worry, the emotional turmoil you caused him. 

Just then, a little over 9 AM, you strolled into his office as if nothing had happened. Carrying two takeout cups of coffee, and a beautiful bright smile on your face. “Good morning, James,” you said cheerfully, setting the cups on his desk. “I brought you your favorite.”

James looked up at you, relief and concern flashed over his expression. A loud scrape against the floor rang through the room as he stood abruptly, slamming his glass down on the desk. “Do you have any idea what you put me through this weekend?” he demanded, his voice low but laced with a genuine worry.

You blinked, taken back by his reaction. “I… I just needed some time,” you stammered, your smile faltering. “I thought it would be best to–” 

“To just vanish without a word?” he interrupted, his eyes flashing with anger. “To leave me hanging, not knowing if you were okay?” 

“I didn’t mean to worry you,” you said, your voice began to raise in defense. “I just needed to sort out my feelings.” 

“How does the smartest woman in this god-damn building, not think?!” James snapped, his frustration boiling over. “You never think about how your actions affect others!” 

“That’s not fair!” you shot back, your anger beginning to flare. “You paraded Sharon around in my home, but you can’t handle seeing me in a hallway with Peter?” 

His eyes narrowed. “This is different,” he hissed. “Sharon doesn’t mean anything. It’s a facade, and you know that.” 

“A facade that cuts me into pieces every time I think about it,” you retorted in a hard whisper. “You expect me to just accept it, while you lose your mind over Peter?” 

“It’s not the same,” he insisted, his voice low and intense as he stepped closer. “You agreed to this, knowing what it would be like.” 

“And you agreed to care about my feelings,” you whispered furiously. “But, it seems like you only care when it’s convenient for you, Dr. Barnes.” 

The tension between you crackled like white noise. And, without another word, you turned on your heel and started for the door. Your coffee cup is long forgotten. Before you could reach for the handle, James grabbed your arm, pulling you back. The sudden movement brought you face-to-face, inches apart, your breaths mingling. 

“It aches me not knowing the taste of your lips,” he said, his voice raw with emotion. He reached up, his hand enveloping your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. 

Your heart pounded in your chest. “Then, why don’t you find out?” you urged, your voice betraying both your longing and defiance. 

He hesitated for a moment, his gaze locking with yours. His voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke again. “What if I can’t stop myself?”  

You breathed out, your voice tinged with desire and vulnerability. Challenging him to cross the threshold between you. “What if I don’t want you to stop?”  

With your faces mere inches apart in that charged moment, James couldn’t resist the pull any longer. His heart thundered in his chest, his lips crashed down on yours with a hunger as he closed the gap between you.

Stunned, the intensity of his kiss sent a shockwave through you. But then, without hesitation, you responded. Your hands found their way to his shoulders, fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt. 

A fire ignited as the kiss deepened. James pulled you closer and his hands slid down your back, pouring all the pent-up emotions into this singular act of desperation.

His lips moved against yours, an urgency that matched the rapid beating of your heart. You tried to savor the sensation of each other’s lips, the taste of whiskey, the heat that threatened to consume you both. 

“I’m sorry,” James murmured hoarsely against your lips. “I shouldn’t have–”

“Don’t apologize,” you whispered against his mouth, interrupting him.

In one swift motion, he lifted you, and your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. He moved with purpose as he pushed you up against the wall of his office. His body pinned yours in place. The pressure against your back made you gasp, the sound being swallowed by James’ fervent kiss.

His hands roamed, one sliding up to cradle your throat, the other gripping your thigh, holding you securely against him. 

His eyes burned into yours with intensity. “I need you, Baby Girl,” his voice a low growl. 

“Then take me,” you breathed out, your voice trembling with desire.  

A fierce hunger took over him, tearing at your clothes, his movements were rough and urgent. And soon, you were bare against him, with his hand everywhere exploring, and claiming as if he needed to memorize every inch of you. 

You fumbled with his belt, your hands trembling in between you. You felt the heat of him against you when you finally freed him. He paused for a moment, his eyes locking with yours, seeking permission and assurance. 

You nodded with a silent plea in your eyes. “Please, Sergeant,” you whispered. 

With a guttural growl, he entered you in one swift, powerful thrust. You gasped with the suddenness, your body arching against his. He set a demanding pace, each thrust rough and deep, pushing you closer to the edge with every movement.

You clung to him, your nails leaving marks as your fingers dug into his shoulders. Pain mingled with the pleasure, intensifying the sensations coursing through you.

“Don’t stop,” you begged him, your voice raw with desperation.

“I won’t,” he growled, his voice shaking. 

He brought his hand up to your mouth, silencing your moans as he thrust deeper and harder into you. His eyes stayed locked onto yours. The room filled with the sounds of your passion, each thrust, each gasp, each moan bringing you closer. 

His other hand gripped onto your hip bruisingly, fingering digging into your flesh as he pounded into you. “You feel so fucking good,” he snarled, breath hot against your ear. 

Your muffled cries only spurred him on, and your every nerve ending, alit with sensations as the roughness of his touch sent shockwaves of pleasure. Your body arched against the wall as the rough texture pressed against your skin. 

With a final, powerful thrust, he sent you over the edge. Your body began to convulse against his, the pleasure causing you to cry out his name against his hand. Moments later, he followed with his release echoing in the confines of his office. 

For a moment, he stood there, keeping your bodies entwined as you came down from the heights of your passion. His hands lingered on your skin as he gently set you down. His eyes filled with satisfaction, and a lingering hint of concern as he looked at you.

“Are you okay, Baby?” he softly asked, his voice a tender contrast compared to the roughness of moments before.

A small smile played on your lips as you nodded. “Better than okay,” you replied, your voice still breathless. 

His lips pressed a soft kiss to your forehead as he pulled you into a gentle embrace. “I didn’t want to hurt you,” he murmured. 

“You didn’t,” you reassured him, your fingers tracing gentle patterns against his chest. “I wanted this. I wanted you.” 

His grip tightened around you, and he sighed. “This is going to change everything.” 

“I know,” you whispered, burying your face in his chest. “But, maybe that’s okay.” 

The future of your relationships was uncertain. The road ahead is fraught with complications. Yet, in those moments, with his arms around you, you thought anything was possible.

---

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[frozenoj]

Published Reylo Fics Master List

Everyone knows reylos stay winning, and I have no doubt we'll be one of the most published fandoms of all time. List originally posted on twitter (and actually stolen from an anti lmao) but ported over considering... all that.

(Note: I'm mostly just C&P'ing right now, if you know an author has a tumblr and they aren't tagged please lmk thanks! And ofc lmk if I've missed any or as new things get published.)

Ali Hazelwood Cinematic Universe

Three novels, three novellas, and she's just getting started.

Go Hex Yourself by Jessica Clare

When Reggie Johnson answers a job ad, she’s astonished to find that she’s not applying to work at her favorite card game, Spellcraft: The Magicking. Instead, she’s applying to be an actual familiar for an actual witch.

We'd Know By Then by Kirsten Bohling

Meeting your soulmate triggers "the glimpse"—walking out of Dorothy's house in Kansas and into the colorful world of Oz. The problem is, Brighton has ALWAYS seen in color.

For Love and Bylines by Merrin Taylor

When Ava Thompson is offered an undercover investigative role, she jumps at the chance. But posing as a high school senior proves to be more than Ava signed up for when she meets brooding English teacher, Nico Adams.

Almost Perfect by Charlie Mitchell

Recovering from a brain tumour, Ben has lost confidence in sex & relationships. So he gets in touch with Rey, a specialised sex worker, to help him get over his fears.

Soul Searching by E. A. Blevins

Finding your soulmate is like winning the lottery. They're rare and precious and lead to riding off into the sunset.

They're not supposed to be your high school English teacher or carry baggage that can tear you both apart.

The Hurricane Wars by @theaguanzon

A land ravaged by storms and conquerors…

A refuge across the sea that comes at a price…

A volatile alliance between two bitter enemies…

A growing attraction as dangerous as it is irresistible…

Crossroads by Chaney Banett

Ester lives a simple enough life as a waitress at a truck stop diner, plopped in middle-of-nowhere Minnesota. Her days aren’t boring necessarily. It’s just that they’re one all the same.

She doesn't question life very often. She doesn't question anything at all, actually.

…Until the mysterious regular at booth sixteen starts asking.

Hanukkah at the Great Greenwich Ice Creamery by Sharon Ibbotson

Grumpy Cohen orders a coffee when he goes to deliver a present from his mother at the ice creamery. While there he's immediately drawn to River, the Deaf woman who makes the ice cream flavors.

My Roommate is a Vampire by @jeenonamit

Cassie Greenberg's desperate when she finds a too-good-to-be-true apartment in a beautiful Chicago neighborhood. She knows there has to be a catch—only someone with a secret to hide would rent out a room for that price.

Cassie’s sexy new roommate is a vampire. And he has a proposition for her.

The Rockstar’s Omega by Hannah Haze

Layla won a backstage pass to meet her idol, Ash Canon. What will they do when his scent sends her into heat?

(Does anyone know if Hannah's other works also used to be reylo? LMK!)

The Alpha Nextdoor by Dani Doll

It doesn’t matter how hot the alpha next door is. She’s a beta, and that means it’ll never work between them.

Right?

The Exception to the Rule by Christina D. Ambrose

Violet Dawson is spirited, independent, and definitely not your typical Omega. She's determined not to be drawn to the gorgeous Theodore Chamberlin, senior editor and company Alpha asshole.

They are thrust together to plan an event, and all seems to go well until Violet's workspace floods, and they have to share an office.

What will become of them when their close proximity causes Violet to go into heat?

The Most Titillating Tale of Miss Hall & Dr Black by Jenny Michelle

Miss Charlotte Hall, bored & neglected by her Grandfather, has a shameful problem. Desperate, she turns to his physician for help. But she hadn't expected the help to be quite so…manly.

Antique Magic by Kait Disney-Leugers

Brie St. James is in need of a part-time job. She finds it at Spirit Antiques, owned by the handsome and aloof Ezra. But there's more to the shop than meets the eye. Under the layers of patina and dust, a gateway to the magical world and the shop is the crossroads of goods for the magical residents.

To Have & to Hold by Avery Crow

When Clara’s work visa is denied, she figures that’s the end of the road for her. Until her boss offers to marry her.

The idea of going back to cold, gloomy London and the dark past that haunts her is only slightly worse than having to somehow convince her friends and coworkers that her new marriage is authentic, and that there is any sort of love between them.

But Andrew Morrow is full of surprises, and Clara soon finds herself in over her head and pining for a man who is, after all, only doing her a favor.

Kirsten S. Blacketer

Kirsten has a ton of books, like omg a ton! Looks like at least 7 different series/collections? I don't know how many of them were reylo originally (could be all, could be just a few) but check them out.

[lokiiied]

YOU KNOW WHAT?!? i miss dr. sharon!!! she would have gotten everyone’s shit together and told roy to stop suppressing his urges to fuck jamie tartt & misdirecting it as anger towards him and just act on it lol.

[its-time-to-write]

i know now it’ll pass - ch. 5

I think these last two chapters are my favorite🥲 Lmk with you all think of the series bc I crave validation!!! No such thing as too many comments🥺🥺

still miss you

It’s the worst. You’re working in Manchester of all places, and you really wish that you were somewhere else. But they paid the most and offered housing and were able to hire you within two and a half weeks of your breakup. Higgins wrote a glowing letter of recommendation, and just like that, you were gone. 

You’re going to miss your flat, you realize. You don’t even know who bought it. Doesn’t matter. They were willing to pay twice what it was worth as long as they were the offer you accepted.

It’s good that Jamie won’t see you around. Won’t have any lingering reminders. It’s good that you’re the one who ended things, because he won’t be able to blame himself for it. (He probably still will, you think, but you put that thought in a tiny box and put it on a shelf far away.) 

Jamie doesn’t see you, but you see him. You see him in photos on the wall and hear him in the local voices and wish you could have just accepted his love for a little while longer.

You watch every single one of his games and cheer when he makes a goal. Or a pass. Or anything, really. He’s started running like Roy Kent did at Chelsea, like he’s angry at the grass. At least his anger is channeled into something productive.

Your new flat faces the sun, and you’re on the steps all the time. It’s not standard housing, it’s a real actual flat that Man City bought for you. It’s not big but it’s clean and yours and has a real, actual garden in the back. You think that you can manage this until you meet your neighbors and realize you’re really and truly fucked and the universe hates you.

You met the husband, Simon, on one of your sleepless nights. It was still relatively early, just 1:30, but you could tell that you weren’t going to get much sleep. Dr. Sharon transferred you to someone in Manchester, but now you were awake for different reasons. Jamie’s face kept haunting you so you kept your eyes wide open. Some mornings you’d wake up under the weighted blanket and think that it was him, in your groggy haze. Then you’d blink a couple times and remember that you’d broken up.

So you don’t sleep much. And now you’re on the porch with a cup of the tea Jamie’s mum recommended so long ago, the strong smell steaming into the air. As you sit down on your chair (you have a chair now) you hear a soft voice say, “Lovely night, isn’t it?” You nod and look over to see your neighbor sitting on his chair as well on the lawn. 

“Sometimes I like to come out here and look at the stars,” he continues. “Can’t always see very many of them, but the fresh air is nice. I’m Simon, by the way.”

You nod again, give him your name, and sip your tea.

“Is that Sleep Plus by Twinings?” he asks. “I only ask because my wife swears by it. Has a cuppa every single night, so I’m well-acquainted with the smell.”

You smile. “Yeah, it is. A friend gave it to me. Said his mum loved it too. I have trouble sleeping, so…”

Simon nods. “Georgie, that’s my wife, used to have the same problem. Too many things on her mind, she said. But she’s been alright ever since we’ve been married. She says that it wasn’t really a chemical problem in her brain, but more the fact that she was always worried. Took me years to show her I wasn’t someone she needed to be worried around. But, I proved myself and here we are.” He chuckles fondly. “She’s upstairs snoring loud as can be.”

You sit in silence a while longer before Simon gets up and says, “Lovely to meet you. I’ll have Georgie invite you ‘round for tea sometime.”

Tea with your neighbors sounds wonderful until you walk into their flat and see pictures of Georgie’s son on the walls and on tables and on the fridge and in basically every possible space she can find. Simon mentions how he researched creative things to do with photographs because it “helps Georgie when she misses him,” and you know for an absolute fact that the universe has a personal hatred for you.

It has to, because why else would you have unwittingly gotten a flat right next to Jamie’s parents?

You force yourself to behave as normally as possible and thank them for a lovely meal. Georgie grabs your arm on the way out and says you ought to come over again some time. She hugs you and tells you she didn’t have a sparkle in her eyes at your age, either. She knows what it’s like and maybe you can have tea together tomorrow night, just the two of you. Talk about it and maybe you don’t have to struggle as much as she did.

You don’t smile at her, but she doesn’t mind. Georgie reaches out a hand to wipe away a tear and says, “Oh love. It’ll be alright. You’re not alone all the way out here. I miss my son something terrible and I can see you’re missing someone too. You’ve already made me feel better and I hope I can help you the way you’ve helped me. Good to have someone young around here.”

She’s smiling, and you realize she and Jamie have the same soft eyes.

Georgie hugs you tight again before you can bolt out the door. “You’re not alone, sweetheart,” she whispers. “You’ll be alright.”

—

Simon and Georgie are a godsend. Sure, you have to suffer their son staring down at you from his various portraits in the house, but you can talk to them. They’re like parents with the way Georgie hugs you and Simon is always bringing over excess baked goods. They’re always available to talk and listen, to laugh and sometimes, to cry.

Georgie tells you about her ex-husband one nights and it’s enough to make you sob. You tell her about your ex-boyfriend (the bad one) through gasps while she rubs your back and murmurs, “I’m right here, love.”

“How were you able to be with Simon?” you ask once you’ve calmed down. “I just can’t understand that. I’ve tried, I really have, but I was just waiting for him to get tired of me. And I’m not positive he ever would have.”

Georgie thinks for a moment. “I think I finally realized that James was not the standard for all men. He and Simon were very different, and Simon always showed me he respected me as a person. It took years of that, but here we are.” She laughs. “He’s a very patient man. Not many would put up with me and my Jamie.”

Jamie was patient. And funny. And the exact opposite of your ex. He’s confident with a touch of arrogance, but it’s the kind of confidence that’s contagious as opposed to oppressive. He’s sweet and thoughtful, and does things without expecting something in return. He likes to make you smile just for the sake of it, and you like to do the same.

You’re shaken from your reverie by Georgie saying, “That reminds me, Jamie’s coming into town this weekend. You should come over to meet him.”

She and Simon share a not-so-subtle glance that means you should date our son and become our actual daughter-in-law because you’re basically already ours, and that’s when you decide you’re going to be horribly ill.

“I’d love to,” you say out loud. “I’ll check my calendar.”

Table of Contents

[jamiesfootball]

Word Game Wednesday

'Wednesday'

"You know how I used to tell everyone that I couldn't do Wednesday nights 'cause it was the only time my eyebrow person could get me in for threading?"

Dani nodded.

"Well that were only true half of the time. Other times, I was seeing a therapist."

If Roy was surprised, Jamie looked absolutely gobsmacked when Dani nodded again. "I know."

"You- what?"

"Dr. Sharon. You spoke very highly of her, and you visited her office regularly. When you stopped, I assumed you had found someone else to talk to," Dani explained easily, like it was basic fucking math instead of something Roy had entirely missed out on.

[hisonlyreid-er]

School Girl Crush Pt 2

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| A new BAU member appears and Spencer sees her as a little threat to his status of boy genius. Being unable to get comfortable with each other causes some issues within the team. Will they be able to move past it and work together?

Spencer Reid x FemBau!OC Warnings: canonical violence, guns, knife, angst if you squint, 1 singular swear word

Since joining the BAU, we've been working case to case. As we worked, I grew closer to the team, getting more accustom to their individual personalities and dynamics. I had now been living here for two and a half months.

I sat on my couch, phone to my ear as I listened to the voice on the other end. "Are you sure you're doing ok Lyn?" Rolling my eyes, I stood from the couch. "Mum. I'm fine. Everything is going really well." Keeping my phone between my ear and shoulder, I begun to clean up the dishes I left in the kitchen from last night. "I'm just worried." My eye checked the clock, noting my need to get ready for work. "I know you are but you don't need to be. I can protect myself and I trust my team members." I hear her sigh through the phone. "Ok. I have to go and I'm guessing you do too." A little smile formed at her reluctant tone. "Yeah I do. I have to be at work in like an hour." I took hold of the phone again having finished cleaning. "You need to call me sooner next time. And make sure to talk to your brother, he misses you." "Yes mum. I have to go. Bye, love you." I had to start getting ready for work. "Bye hon, love you too." The call cut off and I was glad. Of course I love my mum but sometimes she was so overbearing. For the last hour she had talked my ear off about some random drama about Sharon's affair and a wheelie bin mix-up. Then she told me about how dangerous the US was and proceeded to lecture me about my choices. Not even being on a different continent could stop my mums annoying habits.

5:21. Shit. It was a 15 minute drive to headquarters. I needed to get a move on.

5:58. Perfect. I liked to be punctual. However, because of my need for punctuality, I had run around my apartment like a crazy woman, tripping over my discarded possessions. I mentally swore to myself about the mess I left everything in. In my rush, I hadn't had time to deal with my hair. The ginger frizz was extremely unprofessional and I noticed when I caught sight of myself in a window. I stood in the lift, wrestling the waves into a messy ponytail. It would do. Just to make sure I was prepared, I flicked through my bag to ensure I had everything I needed.

As I walked towards my desk I spotted Morgan. A little detour wouldn't hurt. I pivoted and headed towards the kitchen. "Mornin'." He looked a little shocked at my sudden appearance. "Oh, hey Colesta." He was pouring himself a mug of coffee. "Want some?" I turned my nose up and I shook my head. "Oh right, I forgot. You only like a cuppa tea." The stereotypical British accent was so bad. I shot him a dirty look but reached for the kettle because I in fact did want a cup of tea. Stupid stereotypes. "You're here early." I didn't look up as I spoke, checking I had my keys. Forever paranoid. "Unlike some of you, I'm normal and like sleep but, I have some paperwork left from the last case that I want to finish before the next one." His explanation made sense. "We have a case?" I hadn't gotten the usual call so it must be fairly recent. "Yeah, I ran into Hotch on my way in. Sacramento." I had never been there. It felt strange being excited to visit new places when the reason we are there in the first place is so horrible.

"Better got on that paperwork mate. You're running out of time." A little laugh and he was gone. I took my mug and finished making my tea. A few more people had trickled in. On the way to my desk I passed by Prentiss and greeted her but she was never a morning person. Dr Reid wasn't here yet but he usually arrived at 6:15 considering the train times. Rossi was probably in his office, mulling over something or other. Settling into my seat, I retrieved everything from my bag, folders, files, pens. I had just started to go over my report for the last case a final time, being meticulous. My phone vibrated in my pocket with a message. I prayed to everything holy that it wasn't my mum sending me another article about a shooting in a state a 6 hour drive away. Luckily, the name on the screen wasn't my mum, it was Garcia. Come here right now and tell me everything about your date!!!!! Then there was an obnoxious amount of emojis. Deciding it was best not to defy her wishes, I grab my mug and start to journey to her little cave. On my way out I ran into Dr Reid who was just arriving. "Morning Dr Reid." I didn't stop. The chances were that he wouldn't acknowledge me so I tried not to dwell on it when I recieved no response.

Garcia sat me down and made me spill every detail of last night. "He was nice..." The look she gave me could have killed. "That can't be it. Where did you go? What did you wear? What did he look like? How did he act? You have to tell me everything Colesta." She pointed a threatening finger in my direction. "He took me to that Italian restaurant, the one with the massive pizzas. I wore that red top with a pair of black trousers, you picked my outfit." That reminded her. "Oops, yeah, sorry." Her hands prompted me to continue. "He was blonde. He's what I think a surfer dude looks like. Yeah. He was nice but that was it. His name was Tom and he was just kind of shallow. Maybe my standards are too high but he just wasn't anything I was looking for." I leant back in the chair, sipping my tea. "Why not? What're you looking for?" I thought for a moment. I had only known her for 2 months but Penelope was my closest friend here. "A gentleman, someone who opens a door for me, offers me his jacket. And he knows that I can open my own door but he wants to do it for me, y'know? He needs to be kind, considerate and has to understand that looks aren't everything." I sighed a little as I stared at the wall behind her head. "Understandable. Some men are trash. I can look through some data bases if you want, find you a boyfriend that way." I laughed, properly, for the first time in a while. "While I appreciate to offer, that's not entirely necessary Garcia. I'm not that bothered by dating right now." My phone pinged as I finished talking. Roundtable, 30 minutes. I hoped Garcia would let me leave. I went to stand up but she grabbed me and stopped me from getting up. "You've got 30 minutes. I'm not done with you yet Colesta." Dread settled in my stomach.

As I walked into the room, Penelope was bounding behind me, elated with everything I'd told her. "What's got you so happy baby girl?" I slumped into my chair, opening the folder on the table in front of me. "I've just got all the details about Colestas date last night." That drew some surprised looks. Agent Hotchner wasn't in the room yet so there was no one to save me from this. "You forgot to mention that, mate." I glare at Morgan as he mocks me. If this was one of my friends back home I would've flipped them off but I wasn't back home and this was a colleague. I just turned my attention to the case file. A nudge hit me in the side. I looked at Prentiss. "A date, huh? How was it?" Yeah, I wasn't getting out of this. "He wasn't great, kinda shallow." I prayed that was it. It wasn't. A barrage of questions ensued. I should never have told Garcia about my date. As I look around the table I see Dr Reid looking frustrated by the conversation and the lack of concentration on the case at hand. Like an angel descending from heaven, Agent Hotchner walked into the room. I was utterly mortified as he rose an eyebrow, hearing the discussion at hand. He caught my eye and I practically pleaded with him. "We have a case. You can talk about Agent Colestas love life in your own time." Now that wasn't quite what I was hoping for but it worked well enough.

This case was one of the tougher ones, having us stay in Sacramento for 4 days already. We were all exhausted, struggling to accurately profile this guy. The clock was ticking as a new body could show up at any time.

It was 1 in the morning and I hadn't left the precinct yet, my brain firing at 100 mph as I try to piece together anything I could. My back ached from the plastic chairs and my horrendous posture. Dr Reid was stood by the whiteboard in the room. We never really spoke much, more like tolerated each others presence. I tried to get to know him when I first joined the team but I was met with a brick wall. It was a little saddening at first but I got over it, Garcia told me he didn't warm up to people easily and we'd get there eventually. I wanted to believe her but sometimes it just felt pointless.

"What if we profiled this wrong? Maybe he's not a sadist. He shows no empathy for his victims, humiliating them right up until he kills them. And every after they're dead, he humiliates them by staging them publicly. It's more likely that we are dealing with a narcissist." I was mainly thinking out loud but my ramblings brought Dr Reids attention to me. I couldn't stop the hint of pride I felt as he seemed to consider my idea. "That would explain the methods of disposal. But I think we need to focus on victimology." This was the longest time we'd spoken in the last 2 months I'd been a member of the team.

I stood from my chair, walking over to the board with the photos of the victims. There was nothing obviously similar about them. Each woman had a different hair colour, was a different race, had different eye colours and had no noticeable overlaps in any other aspect of their lives. Pattern recognition was one of my strong points so this was so frustrating. I just stared at the pictures, hoping that I would have an epiphany. Dr Reid had moved to examine some of the folders again, even though he knew them off by heart. Stupid eidetic memory. It was always a little surprising how high IQs can effect people differently. Dr Reid had an IQ of 187 and he could read 20,000 words per minute and could remember everything due to his eidetic memory. I, on the other hand, had an IQ of 174 and while I couldn't do anything near what Dr Reid could, I excelled in the more emotional, mental side of things. During my time with the NCA, I was the lead interrogator in the unit because of my ability to get into their head and use it to get the answers we seeked. Some people in the past had just called me straight up manipulative but it was part of the job and I was pretty good at it. It cause some issues when it came to dating, I was constantly worried about profiling my date and scaring them off.

Dating. My eyes grew wide as a spark flickered in my mind. "Were all the victims single?" I asked the human computer. He thought for a moment before shaking his head. "Victim 3 was married." I looked at the pictures from Victim 3's autopsy. No ring. That's pretty common among married victims, the unsub removes it, keeps it as a trophy but that wasn't the case here. "There's no line." Dr Reid looked up, confused. "What?" Everything was being pieced together in my head. "It's sunny here, right. She had tan lines from the straps of her clothing but not one on her hand. She hasn't been wearing her wedding ring." I hadn't even finished my sentence before I grabbed my phone, calling Garcia. "My amazing brain is at your service." Her sunny attitude lifted my mood a little. "Hey Garcia. Can you check Maria Gardener? Check bills, withdrawals, spending. Anything that might show issues in her marriage." I hear the clacking of keys as I spoke. "Any examples to guide me?" I tapped my fingers against my thigh, a habit I needed to break. "Lots of hotel stays, excessive spending. Maybe she even hired a lawyer recently." Dr Reid was flicking through the files as I spoke, clearly understanding my train of thought. "Bingo! Mrs. Gardener has had 5 lengthy hotel stays in the past 3 months. And a nice cherry on top, there's a receipt from a local pawn shop for an engagement ring. Safe to say that marriage was pretty much gone." That was it. "Garcia, I am so in love with you it's not even funny." I hung up the phone and started my hunt. There had to be the connection. I looked at the victims clothes. They were all from different social classes but each one of them seemed to be dressed nicely. "They were going on a date with the unsub." The final piece fell into place. "But we found nothing online to show the victims going out to meet someone, no mentions as a date." Silly Dr Reid. "The unsub is playing on what most women want. A meet-cute. He's bumping into them in a coffee shop or another place they frequent. They exchange numbers, he uses a burner phone and a fake name, but he tells them he'll pick them up at 7. No online exchanges as he plays it old school."

The rest of the team were out trying to find a coffee shop open at the time. None of us were planning to sleep tonight. My first call was the Agent Hotchner. He picked up on the 2nd ring. "Hotchner." He was about to have his socks blown off. "It's Colesta. We've figured out how he's finding his victims." I couldn't help the little smile I had. "Let me patch Morgan in." I pulled the phone form my ear and dialed Morgan. "Morgan." Why does everyone answer the phone like that? "We know how the unsub is finding his victims." I was itching to explain. "Ok, you're on speaker. I've got Prentiss and JJ here." Any bit of exhaustion had been wiped from my body. I explained everything I'd pieced together. The rest of the team added other ideas, everyone agreeing that it made sense. The call ended and I dropped into the chair next to me. "How did you figure that out?" Dr Reid questioned, as he continued to flick through the various sheets of paper adorning the table. "I was just thinking about that date I had, got the cogs turning." I was a little shameful as his gaze turned to me. "That's a bit unprofessional." My cheeks burnt red. His whispered comment. There goes any progress I hoped we had made.

We had found him. Michel Ines. 32 years old. The vest was tight against my chest, creating a sense of security. My gun was raised as we circled the building. There was a missing woman that we suspected to be inside. Our main goal was getting her out safely. I was paired up with Morgan. His fist banged on the door. "Michel Ines. This is the FBI, come out with your hands up." Morgans voice boomed but there was no response. We didn't expect him to give up easily. We exchanged a look before he kicked the door in. I moved into the dark house first. The rest of the team was spread out around the building. Morgan and I moved together, clearing the house as we went. A muffled thud could be heard beneath us. We knew what to do. Locating the stairs was easy. I took in a deep breath as we began our descent into the basement. I went first, taking each step slowly. Why did is always end up in a basement?

The damp, dark of the basement was suffocating as I took the finally few steps. Morgan was still near the top of the stairs. She was alive. I could hear muffled cries echoing through the empty space. "Michel Ines. FBI, come out with your hands up." It was worth a shot but nothing. The cries erupt again at the sound of my voice. I take a step into the darkness, towards the noise. My mouth opens to call out to the woman. The words died in my mouth as someone tackles me, my gun flying out of my hand. A grunt erupts from me as my side hits the hard concrete. Morgans footsteps as close. The cool metal of a knife hits my face. With all my strength, I push back, trying to keep as much distance between me and the blade meant for my head. A quick pain blooms on my cheek but I don't let it distract me. The surprise of the attack and the size of this man meant I couldn't do much but fend him off. Luckily, Morgan appeared just in time, dragging the unsub off me and works on getting his weapon off him. The desperate cries are back and I'm on my feet instantly. I knew Morgan could deal with him, my focus was on Lucy Williams, the missing woman being kept in the basement.

As I round the corner, I see her. She's tied to a chair in the middle of the room. A blindfold covers her eyes and a gag is in place to keep her quiet. Kneeling down in front of her, I took hold of the blindfold. She thrashed in the chair, clearly terrified. The second the fabric is off, I hold my hands up. "Lucy. I'm with the FBI and we're here to get you out." She frantically nodded at me, telling me she understood. I pulled the gag from her mouth, watching as she took deep breaths through her sobs. I block out her thank you's as I moved to untie her. Bruises scattered her skin. With my pocket knife, I sawed through the rope. It dropped away from her. I had to stop her from jumping up from the seat. All signs of struggling had stopped. "Colesta. I'm taking him up. You got her?" I started my check over of Lucy, making sure she could walk. "Yeah, I got her. Is my gun out there?" I realised I had lost sight of it when the unsub tackled me. "Its out here." He sounded further away as he left the basement. I'd grab it on the way out. The woman seemed a little bruised but mostly ok. I let her stand up from the chair. She seemed a little shaky on her feet so I slid my arm behind her back, keeping her tucked into my side as I guided us towards the stairs. The light from upstairs came into view. I spotted my gun on the floor and stopped to pick it up, returning it to my holster.

With a steady pace, I led Lucy out of the basement. I got her out of that house. As we emerged on the porch, the paramedics had just pulled up. She's taken from me and led towards the ambulance. "Thank you." I heard her whisper as she accepts the help. I see Morgan closing the door on the unsub, preparing him to be locked up for a long time. Relief engulfs me as I realise the case is finally over, we've locked away another murderer. Agent Hotchner approached me, his ever stoic look on his face. "Agent Colesta." I start to loosen the straps on my vest. "Agent Hotchner." I give a small smile to my boss. Morgan appeared next to me. I didn't even notice him walking over. "You took quite the hit there Colesta. You good?" Agent Hotchner looked over at me. "Go see EMS." The order rattled me a little. I was absolutely fine. Annoyance bubbled as he didn't waver, his stare commanding. "I'm fine." I pulled at my vest, a twinge of pain appearing in my side. My face must have shown it. "Go see EMS. That's an order Colesta." I huff but follow commands, walking over to the nearest ambulance.

I was vaguely aware of a stinging on my left cheek. Oh yeah. The knife. Clearly I didn't have an eidetic memory. The paramedic got me to sit on the edge of the open door as he cleaned my face. He was just about to give me the all clear when Morgan walked past. "Gotta check her side man, don't let her fool you." I shot him a dirty look as the paramedic turned back to me. With his help, I got my vest off and I realised that I might be a little hurt. Stretching up caused pain to flare up my side. I lift the hem of my blouse, revealing my side. A bruise was already forming and took up most of the skin. The next few minutes were quite painful as he checked for any breaks. Thankfully, nothing was broken but I would be bruised for a while.

We gathered all our belongings, preparing to go home. I received a clap on the bac from Prentiss, kind words from JJ and a very, very brief side hug from Rossi. I was actually proud of myself. I was. Until I happened to glance over to Dr Reid. There was an almost disgusted look on his face as he looked at me. My heart sank. "That's a bit unprofessional." That rung in my mind on the jet, on the drive home, sat in my empty apartment, working at my desk. His words didn't leave my head for weeks, leaving me in a constant state of uncertainty. Goddamn Dr Reid.

[thetarttfuldickhead]

For the first sentence: It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself.

I couldn’t settle on any one scenario, so uh, have 5 times when it wasn’t Jamie’s fault + 1 time when it very much was. You’re welcome?

You can also read it on AO3.

1.

It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself. Blinking his eyes, blinking away stupid fucking tears, he tried to focus on the road as he took a left turn, exiting Manchester proper.

Dr. Sharon would tell him as much, he was sure. Roy, too, though he’d have to grit the words out between swallowing down all the I told you so:s he’d no doubt be fighting hard not to throw in Jamie’s face.

Dad wouldn’t agree with either of them, of course, judging by the way he’d snarled and wagged his finger in Jamie’s face, unsteadily leaning against the door to the flat Jamie had gotten him once he got out of rehab. “Couldn’t be bothered to get here on Friday like you said you would, could you, son, and what was I supposed to do all by meself all night, eh, just sit around and twiddle me thumbs like a twat?”

2.

It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself. He wanted to say as much, profess his innocence to Roy’s sister as she carefully pushed and prodded at Roy’s knee while Roy bit back enough swears to keep Phoebe in sweets for a year.

After all, it hadn’t been Jamie who decided that they would go for a run; wasn’t Jamie who laid out the route, or decided how far they should go, or how fast.

It had been for his benefit, though. And it’d been him who kept on going, pushing on and on because he wanted to prove a point, wanted to prove to Roy that he could do it, that he wasn’t soft, wouldn’t quit, wouldn’t break.

And in the end, it wasn’t Jamie who broke.

3.

It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself. Or, if it was, it wasn’t only his fault, because that’s what Ted had been going on about, wasn’t it – how Jamie was only one of eleven, and that meant it wasn’t all down to just him if things went poorly, or if they went well.

Hard to fucking remember that, when he saw the defeated looks on his teammates’ faces as they walked off the pitch in the pouring rain and with the other team’s jubilant cheers still in their ears. Hard to remember that when remembering the sitter he’d missed early in the second half was so very easy.

A familiar hand fell on his shoulder, and a familiar gruff voice murmured in his ear: hey, it was a bad game for all of us, it wasn’t just you.

Jamie gave a curt nod, and tried to believe him.

4.

It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself. Yes, it was his birthday, and yes, it was him who’d nagged Roy into coming with him to the club, but it was Roy who’d dragged him out into the alley and kissed him like he wanted to devour him whole, and they’d both been too drunk, on beer and on each other, to notice the wanker with the phone.

“Papers won’t run it until you make a statement one way or the other, but it’s fucking everywhere on Twitter,” Keeley had told them over the phone after all hell broke lose, sounding as apologetic as if she’d been the one to out them. “I’m so sorry, boys, but not even Rebecca can bury this, and believe me, she’s tried, I think she even threatened to have people killed at some point.”

“Well, happy fucking birthday to me,” Jamie told Roy sourly as he tossed the phone aside and curled up closer to the other man. “For this year I got a hairy old boyfriend.”

5.

It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself. Keeley had already told him that, repeatedly and in between emptying her stomach into the loo.

“This wasn’t your fault, Jamie,” she had assured him, face pale and her hair a sweaty mess that he held back for her. “We’ve ordered from that place loads of times, and there’s never been a problem before.”

And that was true, wasn’t it, but it was also true that he’d been supposed to make dinner for them last night, only he’d been running late after shopping with Isaac so he’d picked up curries on the way back and now Keeley was curled up on the bathroom floor instead of getting ready for the weekend trip they’d been planning for ages.

Roy was going to fucking kill him.

+ 1.

“It wasn’t my fault,” Jamie told Roy as innocently as he could manage, but he knew he wasn’t able to fully hide the smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

“It absolutely fucking was,” Roy told him flatly, wiping uselessly at his stained trousers and shooting the giggling Keeley a reproachful glare. But when he turned his eyes back on Jamie there was a dark glimmer in them. “You’ll pay for this when we get home,” he promised.

Mmm, yes. Jamie was rather counting on it.

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 12 (FINALE) - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you get Jamie’s help to find some closure.

word count: 1.2k

warnings: language, mention of pregnancy loss

-

chapter 12: from heaven above

Jamie found himself waiting at the address you texted him in a dull black hoodie and jeans. The audacity to try to restrict his fashion choices, he thought albeit through a smile. He could not believe he had a chance to make it right with you but also, what could it be that you two would be doing together?

“Hey, thanks for coming,” you greeted as you approached him, speeding up when you spotted him in the distance.

You were dressed pretty lowkey too and holding a little posy. You gestured for him to follow you as you stepped onto church grounds and went through a side gate. Intrigued, Jamie followed silently only to find himself in a little church garden, sitting on a bench next to you after you set the posy by a plaque in the middle.

“We’re at a church,” Jamie announced, stating the obvious.

“Yeh, yeh, we are,” you said, squinting up into the spring sun.

“I didn’t know you’re religious.”

“I’m not,” you inhaled sharply before turning to him, trying to keep a steady voice as you spoke, “it’s the anniversary of my due date.”

“Oh, fuck,” Jamie said softly.

“I’ve always spent it at home grieving in bed but, I feel like it’s time for some change and to move on. I figured it was right to say goodbye to Lemy here and with you.”

“Lemy?”

“Yea, I called it Lemy when it was in my belly,” you reminisced fondly.

“What the fuck kind of name is Lemy?”

“It was short for Lemon because I like lemon tarts,” you defended.

“Because you like lemon tarts? Why didn’t you call it chocolate cake or custard pudding?”

“God, Jamie, you can be so dense. What is your last name?”

“Oh… fuck…” Jamie swore before curiously asking, “you would’ve used my last name?”

“Eh, I hadn’t decided but maybe. Depending on how you had reacted when I told you. Maybe both our last names or just one. I don’t know.”

You cleared your throat, shifting the conversation back to the present, “so, yes, I wanted to say goodbye to Lemy and I thought it might nice for you to know about Lemy and Lemy to know you.”

“Right, so, what do we do?” Jamie asked, not having done anything remotely close to this before, “do we just talk and shit?”

“Yea, I’ll start,” you offered, “hey Lemy, it’s me, your mum.”

You paused, feeling your emotions choke up in your throat and the tears forming. Jamie reached over to hold your hand, giving it a little squeeze to serve as a reminder that he was there and you had his support.

You composed yourself and continued, “It’s been four years, hey. I think about you all the time. But, Lemy, Mum thinks she needs to start looking forward and Dr Sharon helped me understand that you would want me to too. I might not dedicate the day to you going forward, but I still love and remember you. Forever and always. Thank you for bringing me joy even if only for a little while and you’ll always be family even if we never met physically. Be healthy and happy wherever you are.”

Jamie felt his own emotions overwhelm him. This was the first time he was learning of Lemy or even really spending time thinking about Lemy. He could not even begin to imagine what it would have been like for you thinking about it so much throughout the years.

“I brought someone special to see you today, Lemy… this is Jamie, I told you about him before…”

“Uh, yeh, hi,” Jamie started, hesitating for a second before he continued, “hey Lemy. It’s me, your dad, Jamie.”

The words felt weird coming from his mouth but when he looked over at you, he knew they were right. The sad smile on your face encouraged him to continue, “sorry we haven’t spoken before but now that I know about you, I, uh, I might drop in every now and then. I appreciate you being with your mum when you did. It sounds like you made her really happy when you were with her. She really loves you and she misses you.”

“I wish we could’ve all met, yeh. Would’ve loved to see who you’d have been more like,” Jamie smiled sadly to himself, pausing as he tried to gather himself before he finished with, “uh, right, yeh. Go well.”

The air was sombre and you both sat quietly, each taking in the heaviness of the moment and what had been said.

You were first to speak, “I genuinely meant to tell you. Then, they said it was a bit small so I waited. Then, it wasn’t going to happen so I didn’t. You didn’t need to know about something that wasn’t happening.”

“But other stuff was happening, I should’ve known. You were pregnant, I should’ve known.”

“Right, imagine that call, Jamie. “Hey, I know you’re a premier league star and I’m living across the world but I was pregnant with your kid. I say was because I’ve now lost the baby. Thought you should know, bye”,” you paused for effect and Jamie sighed.

“You had so much going for you, I didn’t want to be a distraction,” you explained.

“You wouldn’t have though. You’d have made me better.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I was a proper fucking prick at Man City and you still got in me head, you did.”

You laughed, “well, it’s all in the past now.”

“I was a bit fucked up after you stopped replying,” Jamie admitted.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised, meaning every bit of the apology.

“I fucked things up with Keeley too because a part of me was like, “what’s the fucking point if even you couldn’t see good in me? You’re a fucking Saint and you thought I was shit”.”

“I-I… I…”

“They set me back on the right path, Richmond did. Coach, Keeley, even fucking Roy. They made me better so you know, I can be here for you now without being a fucking arsehole”

“Jamie, I’m sorry you ever thought it was your fault. I’m sorry I didn’t communicate better with you then. I couldn’t catch my breath to even say the words. When it happened I was barely surviving and maybe it would’ve helped having people but, I couldn’t do that to anyone else.”

“Yeh, look, the me now wants to say I’d have been there for you then too but, I was a fucking prick so I might not have been. I’m just glad I can be here for you now. And, you know, if you need, in the future.”

You smiled. You had spent the better part of five years avoiding Jamie because of how much it reminded you of what had happened before. He was a painful memory. But, here and now, with Lemy on this pretty significant day, you almost felt like it was right.

“Yea, maybe. In the future,” you said, meaning it as you looked at how Jamie was still holding onto your hand.

Jamie smiled a little before joking, “I get final say on names, yeh?”

“What?” You snapped.

“No more naming kids after fruits, yeh? We aren’t in fucking America.”

“Deal.”

-

< chapter 11 | master list

[antitheticallyargumentative]

Hi! I would very much love to hear the entire long rant about Ted and Jamie’s relationship!

I love you for indulging me.

A little disclaimer that I in no way hate Ted. I love him. He has good intentions. He's just a flawed human with a lot of his own baggage that hinders him from actually being able to objectively see Jamie's situation for what it is. And that leads to him offering shit advice. He seriously fucked up when it came to Jamie, (in my opinion), even if his heart was in the right place. So here we go.

TW- mentions of mental health issues, canonical suicide, and abuse and trauma

The way I see it, there are several things happening here. 1) Ted sees Jamie as a surrogate son-figure, because he misses his own son and Jamie is a little bit wayward and lacking his own father-figure, and that activates Ted's savior-complex-I-can-fix-him ways. 2) Ted sees Jamie as a little part of himself- his own inner child. The sixteen year old boy who brutally lost his own dad and never worked through the grief. 3) Jamie sees Ted, at least a bit, as a form of father figure, in the way that he both wants his approval and is innately distrustful of him. (Mind games.)

The problem then lies in the fact that Jamie is not truly either of these things that Ted sees him as, and Ted cannot be a healthy male figure for Jamie because he has too much of his own shit to work through, first. And Jamie also has his own.

I think that, at his core, Jamie wants to be a good person. His time at Richmond has seen him growing into one, and in his head I think he at least partially equates that to Ted's influence. So he wants to stay in Ted's good graces, because like he's said he never got a lot of support from older male figures, and that's clearly something he craves. He wants Ted's approval, but there's also the fact that Ted has left him during confrontations with his dad twice, and in Jamie's eyes, sent him away to Manchester City right after he started trying. Need for approval paired with feeling like he's walking a very fragile line and can't quite trust anything about his relationship with Ted to stay safe.

Ted holds onto a desperate need to fix things. When you see someone hurt themselves, or lose them to mental illness, it's traumatic. It makes you wonder if you could have, should have, done more. Seen it coming. If you could have stopped it. Ted said to Dr. Sharon that “I wasn’t ever gonna let anyone get by me without understanding that they might be hurting inside.” So now he walks through life trying to make sure everybody stays OK, except for himself. And you can't do that. It's not healthy. So when he sees Jamie, this twenty-something-year-old kid with a fucked up relationship with his dad, Ted can't see it clearly. He's so caught up in his own father-related trauma that he projects that onto Jamie. He gives Jamie the advice that he means for himself. Ted needs to forgive his father, so that he can process the grief and the trauma and move forward. Ted needs to give that to himself. But that is incredibly dangerous advice to give someone who's father is clearly shown to be emotionally and physically abusive.

Ted and Jamie both have a lot of father-related trauma. But their situations are not at all applicable to each other, it's just that Ted can't see that because he hasn't worked through any of his own issues. Which leads to complicated relationships and shitty, dangerous advice. There we go.

Woo! That was long.

[richmonds-disaster-bi]

Omega Roy with Jamie and song number 23

Ooooo I love this song and this au ❤️

Take my hand - Picture This

It was a random Tuesday morning at 6am when Jamie had realised that he wanted Roy as more than a friend.

He didn't remember why or how the thought had crossed his mind. All he had known was that one moment he looked up and Roy was smiling. A tiny, fleeting thing that was so quick that he almost missed it but it made his heart race with the thought "I want to make him smile every day".

He had thought it'd freak him out more than it did because this was Roy. One of the most defensive and closed off omegas that Jamie had ever met, and one of the first ones to look at Jamie's cocky, overblown macho alpha act and growl at him because he wasn't impressed.

Back then, Jamie had been a prick. He'd viewed himself as the alpha of the team, and Roy's refusal to engage with him had tormented him until Jamie had realised he didn't want to be this person.

He'd worked on himself. Worked with Dr Sharon to untangle all the stereotypes that had been ingrained in him by his father's fists and words until Jamie felt safe enough to be himself, to be soft and playful and sweet. All the things he was told alphas couldn't be, and it was then that Roy had started to finally let him in a little.

And if anyone heard Jamie's thoughts, they'd probably joke that Jamie was the omega out of the two of them because as they lay together, legs tangled on the sofa with half empty glasses of rosé and Jamie's head on Roy's chest, all Jamie could think was he wanted this forever.

He wanted to wrap Roy in his arms and kiss him stupid. He wanted to be the little spoon in bed, and wear Roy's shirts that made him feel small and loved. Jamie wanted to take Roy on romantic dates, woo him until the other blushed and kiss him in front of twinkling lights.

Jamie wanted to show Roy that he would love him so wholly and truly that everyone around them would look at them and think "I want that".

"What's got you vibrating like a lap cat?", Roy's voice pulled him from his thoughts as fingers tugged at his hair softly. He hadn't even realised that he was rumbling until Roy had distracted him.

Jamie, normally, would give a little growl and bat the others hand away from his hair, but today he felt soft and in love.

"Just love ya so much", Jamie admitted as he tilted his head up to look at Roy, "Gonna show ya everyday, yeah? Be all romantic and shit"

Roy's dark eyes seemed to sparkle at little at Jamie's words, and he got a little rare Roy smile in return.

"Oh yeah?", Roy questioned, a barely audible purr started in his chest, "Going to hold my hand and shit?"

" 'Course I am", Jamie grinned, "I'm gonna make us a love they sing songs about"

He could see a little flush rising on Roy's cheeks at the sincerity of his words and it made Jamie want to kiss him so he did. All sweet and soft and slow and romantic until he was bracketing Roy in against the couch, lying chest against chest.

"There's only you for me, yeah?", Jamie whispered against his lips as the omega closed his eyes under the weight of Jamie's love.

The kiss he got in return was all he needed as an answer to know just how much Roy agreed with that idea.

Give me a number between 1-100 and a pairing, and I'll write a drabble based on that song

[autistpride]

How many of these famous autists do you recognize? And this isn't even a complete list!

So many amazing wonderful people are autistic. I will never understand why people hate us so much.

Actors/actresses/entertainment:

Chloe Hayden

Talia Grant

Rachel Barcellona

Sir Anthony Hopkins

Dan Akroyd

David Byrne

Darryl Hannah

Courtney Love

Jerry Seinfeld

Roseanne Barr

Jennifer Cook

Chuggaaconroy

Stephanie Davis

Rick Glassman

Paula Hamilton

Dan Harmon

Paige Layle

Matthew Labyorteaux

Wentworth Miller

Desi Napoles

Freddie Odom Jr

Kim Peek

Sue Ann Pien

Henry Rodriguez

Scott Steindorff

Ian Terry

Tara Palmer -Tomkinson

Albert Rutecki

Billy West

Alexis Wineman- Miss America contestant

Athletes:

Jessica- Jane Applegate

Michael Brannigan

David Campion

Brenna Clark

Ulysse Delsaux

Tommy Dis Brisay

Jim Eisenreich

Todd Hodgetts

John Howard

Anthony Ianni

Lisa Llorens

Clay Matzo

Frankie Macdonald

Jason McElwain

Chris Morgan

Max Park

Cody Ware

Amani Williams

Samuel Von Einem

Musicians:

Susan Boyle

Elizabeth Ibby Grace

David Byrne

Johnny Dean

Tony DeBlois

Christopher Dufley

Jody Dipiazza

Pertti Kurikka

James Jagow

Ladyhawke

Kodi Lee

Left at London

Red Lewis Clark

Abz Love

Thristan Mendoza

Heidi Mortenson

Hikari Oe

Matt Savage

Graham Sierota

SpaceGhostPurp

Mark Tinley

Donald Triplett

Aleksander Vinter

Comedians:

Hannah Gatsby

Robert White

Bethany Black

Scientists/inventors/mathematians/Researchers:

Damian Milton

Bram Cohen

Michelle Dawson

Carl Sagan

Writers:

Neil Gaimen

Mel Bags

Kage Baker

Amy Swequenza

M. Remi Yergeau

Sean Barron

Lydia X Z Brown

Matt Burning

Dani Bowman

Nicole Cliffe

Laura Kate Dale

Aoife Dooley

Corrine Duyvus

Marianne Eloise

Jory Flemming

Temple Grandin

John R Hall

Naomi Higashida

Helan Hoang

Liane Holliday Willey

Luke Jackson

Rosie King

Thomas A McKean

Johnathan Mitchell

Jack Monroe

Caiseal Mor

Morenike Giwa- Onaiwu

Jasmine O'Neill

Brant Page Hanson

Dawn Prince-Hughs

Sue Robin

Stephen Shore

Andreas Souvitos

Sarah Stup

Susanna Tamaro

Chuck Tingle

Donna Williams

Leaders:

Julia Bascom

Ari Ne'eman

Sarah Marie Acevedo

Sharon Davenport

Joshua Collins

Conner Cummings

Kevin Healy

Poom Jenson

Amy Knight

Jared O'Mara

David Nelson

Shaun Neumeier

Master Sgt. Shale Norwitz

Jim Sinclair

Judy Singer

Dr. Vernon Smith

Artists:

Miina Akkijjyrkka

Danny Beath

Deborah Berger

Larry John Bissonnette

Patrick Francis

Goby

Jorge Gutierrez

Lina Long

Johnathan Lerman

Julian Martin

Haley Moss

Morgan Harper Nichols

Tim Sharp

Gilles Tehin

Willem Van Genk

Richard Wawro

Poets:

David Eastham

Christopher Knowles

David Miedzianik

Henriette Seth F

[atorionsbelt]

some thoughts on 3x11 mom city:

i almost wish… we had gotten the chance to see jamie have a panic attack, or an overwhelmed pause regarding everything that he’s been dealing with beneath the surface over the course of the series, especially as a parallel to ted. to be taken seriously in that moment and for the audience to be put directly in his headspace; helpless debilitating fear of possibly seeing his father again. a beat of quiet where the world stops and slows down for a minute. joining in breath and stillness and the comfort its met with. roy and/or keeley being there for him, ted in the aftermath. a notable conversation about boundaries, attachment, guilt.

of course, i never want to magnify the pain of my favorite characters more than any of the circumstances they’ve already been dealt — this would’ve been a natural response many people experience after his severe level of trauma. after it’s been all piled up and up until he can’t ignore it for any longer. after the root of his ptsd has relentlessly lurked unpredictable and inescapable just out of frame, and seemingly threatens to again.

the mom city boot room scene doesn’t necessarily have to be replaced by this, if anything it played an essential part in the duality of depression and how it appears. big outbursts of emotional distress that avoid the event that upset you in the first place; a cry for help, a distraction, a release for what you’re carrying inside even though you can’t admit it’s real quite yet. then the other half. the suffering in the silence; disassociation, drowning until only the numbness remains “like it’s in my soul.”

i know it’s tough subject matter, but it would’ve been so poignant and vital to such a significant part of jamie’s characterization. then comes the topic of forgiveness.

before it was revealed jamie’s dad was in rehab, when he said it was freaking him out that he couldn’t find him in the crowd, i had almost thought ted would tell jamie that they had james sr. permanently banned from his matches after wembley. that he was finally free from him now. assuring jamie he could even get a restraining order if he wanted, evoking a wash of both relief and grief on his face.

regardless of the rehab choice, i always thought it could’ve been one of the most impactful routes to cut ties and go no contact for good just like his mom likely had done. many of us with toxic family members are given no other choice but to do so, it just felt like a golden missed opportunity for healing and cathartic solidarity.

and maybe another solid plotline could’ve been two contrasting sides of forgiveness. ted’s advice vs roy/keeley’s. they would have no hesitation telling jamie that any man alive who abuses him deserves nothing less than losing the right to having the honor of jamie as a son. jamie’s dad stopped being his dad a long time ago. ted is in the dark about how truly bad it is, and biased by his own experience of loss, it doesn’t do the scene justice standing on its own. keeley knows him most intimately, and roy may be the only one that knows about the amsterdam SA. give him options: jamie doesn’t need to forgive him right now or ever, or thank him for a lesson no one should have to learn, or feel that he owes him any help that he himself was never given. just let him go. jamie’s still in his 20s, still closer to being an impressionable kid, still holding onto a burden keeping him from total freedom and autonomy that was never his responsibility. he struggles with self worth and detaching his identity from his dad. he can always change his mind later on about how he feels, but separation and safety should be his priority in order to ever fully cope and move forward. to mourn the loss of his own youth to confusion and torment.

well aware jamie’s friends aren’t verified therapists like dr sharon, but nonetheless, for the sake of communicating a message for the end of the episode, if both jamie and ted lasso viewers were to be presented with more than one singular take on such a delicately personal situation there would be less room for misinterpretation and which behavior is actually being praised — especially under an episode umbrella theme concerning the value in being given second chances.

[casismybestfriend]

just gathering my finale thoughts here, please feel free to add-on if i missed anything

things from 3x11 that must be in the finale:

✅ted’s truth bomb (possibly quitting, leaving to kansas)

✅nate returning to richmond (possibly replacing ted after he leaves)

〰️rebecca, bex, and ms. kakes taking down rupert

✅the final premier league match to win it all

things from s3 that should be in the finale:

✅trent’s finished book

✅dr sharon (she was supposed to have a significant role in s3 like trent 🤨)

✅michael (billy said so)

✅the end of rebecca’s psychic’s prediction (“mother”? possibly coparenting bex’s kid?)

〰️the final shot being a close-up of ted looking happier (vs in 3x01 and 3x06)

❌@fangirlofallthefandoms you’re so right, i forgot: baz’s west ham friend (possibly boyfriend)

✅NUMBER FOUR!

things i’d like to be in the finale:

❌ted returns to england (possibly newer custody arrangement with henry)

❌they win the premier league (and their first trophy in decades)

❌literally anything about trent’s daughter. i’d like to see her, but at the very least tell me her name 😭

[deardarlingthings]

its the fuckin' 'Sound of Music' reference for me: Because this song they say good bye to their guests. HOWEVER, it's being hinted all season, all throughout this show that he misses his son, and his heart is with his boy. He loves Richmond and his found family, but his little boy is back in Kansas. He's going to make that move back. Now if that is happening... what if What if Roy and Beard gets the team to do a 'So Long, Farewell' musical number good bye like they did with Dr. Sharon and their 'Bye Bye Bye' dance? And it would be Roy, because his favorite fucking Julie Andrews character is Maria, from Sound of Music, and then if Ted joins in--

and then it leads to THIS-

listen. when I tell you that I am unwell... and that I will be so much worse when the finale is out.