#i need him GONEEEE i need that freak shot

[kiyocuck]

do yall ever think about how taka's love language is definitely physical affection because hes very bad with words and is incredibly touch starved. how he'd constantly express affection through certain small actions. he'd play with mondos hair while its down, twirling his curls with his fingers, petting makotos hair, carrying them and picking them up, hold them tightly while hugging them, locking his arms around them while cuddling and refusing to let go, giving them neck kisses, forehead kisses, squishing their faces and pinching their cheeks playfully, putting his arm around them and bringing them close to him, not in some kind of dominant way, but as a way to not lose them Ever.

you can say he wouldnt like PDA all you want but i feel like he'd be totally okay with it, as long as its not outright making out in the subway or something. just small gestures, small touches, something to remind him theres someone around him that really loves him, and vise versa. even something as simple as hand holding, it would make his day.

and in private MY GOD!!! he would literally be glued to them at all times!!! and theyd love it. and wont leave him alone either

tldr Clingy boyfriend taka is real and if you truly believe in dogboy taka agenda you HAVE to agree with me.

[mostlymalena]

July 22nd 2024 9:22pm

Okay let's hash this out. I'll tell you guys what happened first then I'll address the slander Grace has been posting.

Grace and I broke up last Thursday. Reasonings were that I needed more space and I wasn't giving her what she deserved or needed. I did not have enough time between her and my last relationship to really heal and that was catching up to us. That's my fault for not giving myself the time I needed. I really just felt off and needed more time to myself, Argentina is super close and we were going to breakup when I moved there anyways. I also started feeling really guilty for not being able to feel the way she feels about me and I also started feeling resentfull for the sexual assault thing, her putting her hands on me one night when drunk, and for her fucking her Ex behind my back and lying about it. I was realizing I did not process that either. Anyways that was all building up hence why the breakup. I didn't want to even breakup till after I had therapy Friday bc I wanted to make sure I wasn't being a freak about things or just doing things out of being overwhelmed.

Anyways Friday is not good either, I get food poisoning and am so grumpy and she goes out on the town and gets fucked up - doesn't text me back so of course Im pissed off. My therapy is moved to Monday bc my therapist's kid had something come up. We fight about her smoking again and decide we should maybe reconnect after I move and get settled and O to his first day of school. I texted her later in the evening apologizing for being grumpy earlier and she doesn't answer.

Fast forward Saturday she texts me this long thing and I just get more confused more upset - I'm overthinking things and doubting myself. I ask her to come over to talk. We do just that and talk about my fears and my distrust with her bc the little Emma stuff and the other stuff mentioned before. I talk about my guilt in not showing up for her the way she deserves or being more actionable in the relationship. She tells me it's okay that I need space but she thinks we can do that still in a relationship. I tell her if thats what she wants then I can try better. We have two months left anyways. She gives me some ideas on how she feels loved and seen and I write those down. She spends one last night with me bc Ive asked for no more sleepovers till I'm settled in the new house.

Sunday. I pack and cry and pack and cry. It's so difficult leaving this apartment but at the same time I cannot wait to leave. Many loves and losses have been here and 3 years is a lot to leave behind.

Jo and I decide to have one last wine night at my place since last summer thats all we basically did. She ends up getting sick so I decide to have one by myself. I drink a bottle and watch a movie. For those who don't know - I don't drink that often and I am a lightweight. I am drunk at 10pm on Sunday by myself. Bent texts me asking to stop by and catch up and smoke a cig (I had Jo's favorite cigs for our wine night). Bent and I haven't caught up in a bit bc I'm so busy so I say sure. Something we've done a millions times. We chit chat and share 3 bottles of wine, sitting on my porch just hanging out. Around midnight I text Grace that I'm blackout drunk. I know this bc I reread our texts. I was in fact blackout drunk. Bent was also goneeee. I would need 3 hands to count the amount of times in the last year even that Bent and I have been fucked up together. It's not a rare thing is the point I am trying to make here.

Listen I know you all want details but I don't have them. I remember me and Bent sitting in my room talking about work. I remember opening my eyes at one point and the whole room was dark and we were kissing, I shot up and turned the light on and slapped his face a little and told him we were crossing a line and it was wrong. I told him we need to think of Ruby and Grace. That was the last thing I remember. I can't tell you if it was good or bad or how long. I also cannot tell you why we did it. I woke up the next morning and threw up everything I have ever even thought of putting in my stomach.

There was no tension that night leading up to it, there NEVER has been sexual/emotional/romantic tension between me and Bent. It's just me and Bent. Sorry to disappoint everyone with the following: that is the first and last time Bent and I will hook up. We have never in the past ever come close. No he did not cheat on Jade. I also have my own opinion that he did not technically cheat on Ruby. Rubes dumped bent a while back and they have just been fucking and hanging out since. If that isnt the case then thats between them.

Now my part: I do feel and think I cheated on Grace. I told her I needed space but did not want to sleep with anyone else and that seeing other people wasn't my goal. I was very very wrong to cheat on her. What I did was terrible and gross. I know I hurt her and what I did was unforgivable. I never thought of myself as someone who could do that. It was bad. It's plain and simple: it was wrong and I was wrong. I feel so guilty.

I cannot tell anyone why I did that. I wish I could but I'm also relieved I don't remember any details because I think that would make it worse.

Ruby and Grace both found out while I was in therapy this morning. Many of you readers might have already seen the things Grace is posting on her story. She is hurting big time and I betrayed her so I'm not mad about the posting. I write on my blog so I would never be mad about something like that. If she feels better about it then thats her thing!

What I do not appreciate is posting our texts out of context to further her victim stance. Grace you are the victim here you don't need to manipulate the masses. For example her post of a screenshot of this:

It was her worried about doing coke.

She did unblock me today to tell me she is on her way to her my house to get her stuff. I told her not tonight but I'll gather all her things and put it on my porch tomorrow. I have things in the dirty clothes that are hers and I am also packing so Ive packed some of her stuff. The other big reason was the Olive was home and I was not going to allow her to freak out around him. I told her this several times and apologized for inconveniencing her. She showed up anyways and banged on my door, screamed a little, and dumped the cat food I have on my porch to feed a stray cat all over the place. She also called me a bunch so I blocked her. I also threw up again bc the nerves and the guilt. Hearing her so upset and knowing it was my fault was terrible.

Ethan comes over and we are on the porch (this is several hours later) and she pulls up again with her friend Emma. Ethan tells me to go inside and I stand up and she gets out and runs up the stairs and I go inside and lock the door. She stand outside my door and says she isnt leaving until she gets her stuff. Ethan reiterates that I'll gather it all up tomorrow. She says she just wants some cosmetics that she leaves at my house. I go and look for them but find razors, I probably fucking packed it all already. I am also in a panic not gonna lie. I throw up again and I'm shaking and I'm scared. Scared of what I pushed her too and scared in general. Ethan gives her the razors and tells her that he will personally drop her stuff off at her house tomorrow on his lunch break. So she doesnt have to drive this way again and she wont have to see me. She loses it and starts screaming at Ethan calling him a piece of shit for being my friend, telling him I'm trying to keep her stuff so she is forced to see me again. Just really upset and rightfully so. She leaves in an echo of a car door slam.

And of course all the posting stuff.

My only issue with this all is the her blaming Ethan for being my friend still when her best friend Jordan just recently cheated, her best friend who has a wife "they cheat on each other all the time" and Grace and I both share really good friends who have cheated on their partners. Grace CHEATED ON HER PREVIOUS GIRLFRIEND. They make bad decisions not bad friends. I fucked up big time but I also am taking responsibility. I know what I did was wrong and this is not an excuse, just an explanation. I was WRONG and what I did was TERRIBLE, disgusting, and if Grace wants to blast me on social media and do what she needs to do just let her. I hurt her in an unimaginable way. She will gain her composure when the initial shock is over.

I think that is all I have to say right now but of course I am open to questions and criticisms. I am to blame and only me in this situation.

I'm just going to post this and not reread it so sorry for grammar and spelling.