#i need to know how theyd go about grocery shopping for one day so that i can adjust my expectations for them accordingly

[notedchampagne]

i need alecto the ninth out only because i need a baseline for how griddlehark reacts sans The Worst Conflict Inducing Settings Ever

[mistymark]

the boyfriend one. [mark]

part of the NCT boyfriend series // mark lee // 0.9k

all round cUTIE

tackles you in hugs as a way of greeting you

but because ur smaller than him, he just kinda, envelopes you in his arms

smells really good

not a big fan of pda around the other members or in general really, so prefers lowkey chill dates

most of the time y’all are just watching a movie on the couch or going out for breakfast

movie nights (whether ur alone or w the other members) always end up with you sitting between his legs

kisses your shoulder when he gets bored, or when he doesnt think the others are looking

makes ugly faces or suspiciously glares at you from across the room

sHY BEaN

giggles into kisses one hundred per cent

when u first started dating he bought you a gift while he was travelling but later thought it was too sudden and was too shy to give it to you

kept it under his bed for months

finally gave it to you after y'all had been dating for like a Year

“do you like y/n” “no” “you’re dating” “still no”

likes lying on his bed with you against his chest and playing with your hands

really appreciates it when you nap with him

he claims he sleeps better with you

lets you accompany him to the studio but he becomes such a giggly MESS that you eventually just wait in the room outside so he can Get His Work Done

is constantly humming tunes in your ear

the Distracted // Subconscious type when it comes to affection

like,, he makes such a big deal about not showing pda in front of the other members,, but when he’s rushing out the door with his shoes half on and his hair a mess, he’ll quickly peck your cheek and leave

comes up behind you to read over your shoulder while eating and subconsciously back hugs you

like doesnt really think about it he just wants to be close to you all the time

loves comparing the size of your hands

“mark we know you’re dating y/n” “jskkjhg PSSS WHA- no way! they’re ugly”

does NOT think ur ugly

literally thinks you’re god’s gift to the world he thinks you’re stunning

when you get dressed up he’s literally speechless

the hyungs love to tease him about how whipped he is for you

when he’s sleepy he’ll draw shapes on your skin with his finger

SLUT FOR HAND HOLDING

uses lame excuses to hold your hand

holds your hand under the table at restaurants when you're out with the members

classic date lover; dinner and movies, mini golf, diners, etc.

he’s into that shit

takes 100 dumb selfies with you and keeps them all

even the blurry ones or the ones where he's blinking

probably texts you dog memes throughout the day when he’s bored

literally has his phone on do not disturb constantly so never remembers to text you back but makes a fuss when you dont respond to his texts in 0.3 seconds

whispers sweet nothings into your hair when ur cuddling

talks about the future with you but in a dumb sense like

“how many kids do you want” “mark-” “im thinking no kids but 200 dogs” “mark-” “NO BUT THEYD BE SO CUTE YOU CANT GET RID OF THEM”

LotS oF giGGLinG

his phone password is your birthday

it used to be his birthday but the members kept guessing it and hacking into his phone so he changed it

lowkey they know its ur birthday but they all think its so sweet and they dont want him to change it

talks about how much is mom would love you

loves lending you his clothes

because when you return them they smell like you

constantly trying to get you to sleep over at the dorm

brings you coffee or you bring him coffee

knows your orders for ur fave restaurants by heart but would never tell you that

buys you watermelon flavoured lip balm ;)

loves it when you ruffle his hair

makes a lot of sex jokes but PANICS if you ever respond with a flirty comment or something equally suggestive

doesnt care when u take sneaky pics of him like when ur just chilling or doing mundane things like grocery shopping you'll just snap a pic and he's chill w it - u keep them all bc he's super cute

y’all probably have folders of pics of each other sleeping

laughs at EVERYTHING you say

literally never sad when ur around

smiles at you whenever you look at him

tries to make you let him buy you things even though you always refuse

“COME ON ITS NOT EVEN EXPENSIVE Y/NNNNN”

shy forehead and nose kisses

mostly bc someones looking

“god I really want to kiss you right now”

happily will watch any movie with you but will talk through the entire thing

“what is she doing? why is she doing that? doesnt she know-”

can easily find you in a crowd

u have a dumb nickname that he made up and its ur contact name in his phone

he thinks its so clever and laughs whenever u roll ur eyes at it

sends u vine compilations that youve already seen 48586 times bc theyre literally 5 years old

uses ur face as a reaction meme but he doesnt know what a reaction meme is

all nighters where you just tell stories about things u did as kids

“one time when I was five-”

needs ur help with online shopping bc he cant do it himself

literally thinks ur a genius

overall hes a blessed boy and he deserves the world uwu

[malafight]

Long-Ass Life Update (I’m not dead!)

Finally a life update now that I’m back home. It’s been a painful and tiring couple of weeks :’) And actually some of the days/times might be off because I was like super fucking out of it for most of that time period.

Anyhow, I went to the ER on Friday the 1st after 3 days of severe stomach pain, and the local hospital is like notoriously shitty but I was in horrible pain ok

They actually took me seriously for once, took me back immediately, ekg, ultrasound, blood and piss tests, and told me from the start not to eat or drink anything.

They told me they found gallstones and one or more might be stuck in the bile duct, but they made it sound like it wasnt inflamed and there werent many, so I wasnt super worried? They sent me for an MRI and then told me that they didnt have the capability to get out any stones, so they sent my ass an hour away via ambulance to a much better hospital so they could do the probe thing they needed to. It took until Saturday night to get a room there, though, and they didnt know when I’d get there and since they figured theyd want to do the probe ASAP, I was kept completely without eating or drinking for all of Friday night and Saturday, after not eating more than a few bites of muffin on Friday and next to nothing Thursday either because Everything Hurt.

Also, Fentanyl is fucking magic. Thats the only thing that even vaguely touched the pain.

So anyhow, I get to the other hospital at fuck o’clock at night and God Damn Staved because, like I said, bitches gave me No Fucking Food for an entire day (I’m not kidding that hospital is horrible and has a horrible reputation for ending up with killing people or making situations worse but the next nearest hospitals are an hour away in different directions and I don’t often have anyone willing to drive me that far and I often don’t feel up to driving myself that far if I’m already at “need to go to the ER, fuck the money I don’t have” point, and Saer has only just gotten into the USA and the last time they came with me to the ER they ended up with a virus for like three weeks and I wasn’t gonna do that to them again!!) and finally when I got to that hospital they were like “yeah we won’t be able to do the probe until Monday so eat something and then tomorrow you’re on a liquid diet and then nothing by mouth after midnight” so they scrounged me up some chicken broth and orange juice at like ten o’clock at night and gave me Those Good Good Meds and I slept in a decent hospital bed instead of on a fucking ER bed like Friday night (since they were transferring me at the local hospital they didn’t admit me and I slept in the ER. yeah. i hurt too badly to sleep on my side even with pain meds, and I slept on an ER bed. I had to sleep all day Saturday on and off just to get vaguely rested, but honestly? this whole ordeal has been an adventure in sleep deprivation despite heavy sedatives)

Monday rolls around and they take me for the ERCP (iirc thats what it was) where they put a thing down my throat and cut the bile duct wider so the stone could pass, get that bitch cleared up, all is well. I was heavily sedated and remember none of it, just waking up with different pain in my stomach and the world’s worst sore throat.

I was on a liquid diet from that and until the extraction on Wednesday. I have drank my weight in broth and orange juice.

Wednesday they take me in to remove my gallbladder. It was supposed to be a simple laparoscopic procedure, nip it out, pull it, I go home in a couple days with a couple small cuts on my belly. My dad (and several other people) reassured me that it was routine and quick, and is an easy procedure that should take 2 hours at most. I told him, “Listen, with me, literally nothing is ever easy and you know that”

Fast forward to me waking up and my first thought is “is that a catheter? guess it didnt go so easy after all.” I’m pretty sure the first words I said as I woke up were “told you it wouldnt be easy” lmao

Remember how hospital #1 told me that my gallbladder wasn’t inflamed and there were only a couple gallstones?

It was chock goddamn full of gallstones and so inflamed that when they tried to get it out laparoscopically, it tore. He spent an hour trying to get it out that way safely before realizing that his only recourse is to cut me open and get it out that way. The procedure took closer to 5 hours.

I have at least 20 staples in my belly now and I hope I get a cool fuckin scar but shit hurts still. I was in the hospital slowly ramping up to eating solid food again until Friday when I was allowed to go home to Saer. I can’t lift anything more than 20 pounds for another like month, and my range of motion is a fraction of what it was before. I’m so easily exhausted now and i can barely do anything and it’s really fucking pathetic??? and every time I bring that up Saer is like “they TOOK your ORGAN” so

(its really sad that i’m so conditioned that If I’m Not Doing Everything I Can All The Time Then I’m Not Trying Hard Enough that even after having full surgery to remove an organ I’m like NO I CAN DO THE THING and then end up hurting myself s-sobs)

(we watched the episode of b99 today where gina comes back after getting hit by a bus and when she tried to dance while still in the halo saer pointed at her and was like “it u” and i was like “exCUSE” but like, tru)

anyhow, im home, and i have my wife with me, and saer is such a blessing right now because i cannot do SHIT and they need to help me off the couch sometimes if my dumb ass gets in a position with no leverage, and also ive already fallen off the couch like twice because i was like NO I GOT IT and saer was across the room like BEB NO U DONT and yeah im stubborn and stupid ok saer is saving me from myself for the most part

also also the app i drive for is shutting down in my city at the start of december hhhhh so now i also have to fuckin... find a job like this and uGH do not WANT ffff

but yeah thats something even my parents have okayed me holding off on until I’m better so if even my fuckin parents are like “pls chill???” yall know im fucked up

however i’m mostly weaned off opiod pain meds now and am only using them at night when it’s worse and hard to sleep, tylenol tends to take care of it well enough now. my range of motion is improving, too, but i am just still so easily tired that its frustrating. we went grocery shopping yesterday and even in the little motor scooter i was completely worn out by the end of it.

but im alive! all is well! i will continue improving! sorry for being so quiet during this but like I said, i’ve been some level of sedated for most of this event. not fully sedated except for the two procedures, but fentanyl and dilautin (ok i have no idea what it actually is and google isnt helping but i had a button for it) and then morphine and hydrocodone on top of not getting restful sleep At All due to pain, discomfort, and people coming in every hour for vitals checks... I was fuckin Gone i got fuckall done rip

however once my pain-induced blood pressure spike was lowered (i saw them take it at the ER and it was fuckin RED) everyone was like “...you have really good blood pressure??” like i’m pretty sure i have low blood pressure naturally and my size/genetics gives me high blood pressure and they kinda cancel each other out, but yeah. pretty cool.

my family kept swinging between “IF YOURE IN THAT MUCH PAIN FOR 24 HOURS YOU GO TO THE ER. YOU DO NOT WAIT THREE DAYS.” and “...jesus christ you have a high pain tolerance”

//throws the horns thats what chronic pain does to ya baybee

my mom especially was impressed because she was just like “you’re so calm talking to them about how much it hurts how are you doing that” and im just like “its literally wasted energy to freak out and i hurt too badly to move so im just gonna sit here and tell them im a ten and hope they take pity on me because i have no other options”

anyhow fun new experience and im pretty sure ive broken my brother’s hospitalization record and also pretty sure i’ve got enough medical debt on me now that i can literally file for bankruptcy so

also i can feel a void near my ribs and it is so bizarre yall fuckin organs need to close the gap asap bc this shit weird as hell

[kosmicdream]

Long time reader, first time questioner. What type of life did Knife, Spoon, and for the last chunk of it Fork have together on the more civilian end of things? Like, did they have a house, apartment, move around a lot, was the money from agenting enough to make them rich or just middle class, who bought the groceries, etc. Thanks!

Oh my GOD thank you i absolutely adore this kind of question because i maladaptively daydream the mundane life of my fav cutlery trio on a daily basis so this gives me an outlet.

As far as the living situation it went a bit like this. Knife has an apartment on thumb HQ, I’d say he’s been living in that building for hundreds of years as its one of the oldest buildings on that moon. He used to jsut go where he pleased but he’d eventually start to gather his crap there and eventually it ended up being where he lived. Originally that building was not even made to be an apartment but as the population grew (and also because he was living there) it was remodeled and the area around it also became more of a city.

Spoon first lived in the same building but a diff floor when he was first starting being an agent, but eventually Knife invited him to room with him and this was when Knife finally put the moves on Spoon which was funny bc at that point Spoon had resigned to just being Totally in love with knife but never having those feelings resupricated.

As spoon lived with knife he noticed how badly knife took care of himself and the apartment and started to get very Domestic and learned how to cook for him. Id say he did a lot of the groceries but eventually he was comfortable enough with making knife do it with a shopping list or going out together ofc. but knife at first was kind of a chronic shoplifter bc he just kind of would put things in his pockets and forget that things, ALL THINGS IN THE STORE, must be paid for. money has always been kind of a ????? whatever concept to knife but spoon has always taken money matters very seriously which u wouldnt expect by how much he spends. (at least he has taken it seriously once he became an agent and was like.. earning HIS money from what he was DOING vrs hiding under a fake alias or whatever. once he was making it himself thru his actual job he worked hard at doing, it became something he valued.)

Knife appears to not get paid very much as he doesnt want many things and sort of just takes what he needs at times, since no one can really stop him. But he is actually incredibly wealthy. He knows money is a tool to humans but he also knows its important to make sure no one knows how much you have really, since that makes it easier to be stolen if they do know. So he acts like he doesnt care about it and doesn’t have much at all. If he decides to flex it its for very rare occasions or when hes accidentally destroyed simons car for the 50th time and has to pay for repairs or simons going to cut his favorite coat up for REAL THIS TIME IM WARNING YOU

After simon was kicked out, Knife and Fork lived together for quite a long time until fork grew up and realized that bringing dates over kind of didnt work out well with knife around. Knife kills all moods. especially when its his son’s date. he literally will not tolerate any of that shit under his roof. So fork moved into a new building so they could have some space, they still lived close by however. To this day Fork still lives there.

Simon moved into a new apartment when he got kicked out and it was like incredibly lavish and huge so he could host giant parties at and pretend he wasnt sulking over not being at Knifes anymore. He later blew up that entire building (lol) and now he lives in the same building Fork does now and has resided there to this day.

So i guess they didnt really move around a lot, although for spoiler reasons i cant discuss the sort of secret honeymoon spot that simon and knife also lived at when they had secret romantic vacations. Knife also has a spaceship that he, spoon and fork have all spent time living in off and on, which appears in chapter 8 during the flashback scene. When he “died” kurt legally inherited it. its basically like a flying apartment. Knife personally finds woodsy areas uncomfortable and so he feels much more happy near cement and buildings so thats why he doesnt like, own a cabin. Beaches are cool tho.

Oh right when fork and knife lived together theyd play rock paper scissors (ha) to decide who would go grocery shopping bc they both hated doing it and then would just order take out for a week. knife was very good at taking care of kurt when he was a kid but as soon as they both became adults they just became true slobs and knife couldnt really keep up the ‘cleaning the house and taking care of chores’ parent thing anymore.

when fork lived on his own he realized his dates judged that all he had was ketchup packets in his fridge so he started to work on being better at that stuff.

knife’s apartment was incredibly flithy when he lived alone with both fork and simon moved out, and wouldnt let anyone visit which made fork concerned. when it was discovered that knife died and ppl went into his apartment, they found it was covered in discarded skins. like. knife’s bad habit for hygiene is to just cut off his skin instead of showering and regrowing it so when he was left alone in his bad depression he just did that constantly so it was probably pretty disturbing to see the floors cluttered with his shedded skin like he was a snake LOL

anyway the three of them are rich. simon is the only one who really tried to ~act~ super rich tho and do like.. flaunt his richness by having..  parties on a yacht thing. (when he was single and no longer valued all his hard earned money lol BURN IT ALL AWAY HUH SIMON) then when he exploded he had to pay so much fucking property damage and medical bills so he really lost like. everything. HAPPY NOTE TO END THIS ASK ON YAYYYYYYYY 

[mylifeisboderline]

Omg

Can’t believe how hard it is for me to leave the house alone. Certain things I can do. Like grocery shopping. I went to Best Buy the other day. I dont know why but if I’m dressed nicely but low key I usually feel comfortable in target. But new places are the hardest. I actually never get to them. I cant even make a call to get the health insurance I need.

I was staying in an apartment that was my own place and I find Im more likely to do things for myself. But now im back on my sisters couch searching for a job. Its still like im invisible to her even though Im right here on her own couch. How am I going to be able to take care of myself? Be a productive member of society. Sometimes I think how people literally are doing something almost every hour of the day. They have meetings and go out to lunch then hit the gym and etc etc. They are normal. Making or having friends. Taking instagram pics. I wanna be normal. I wanna have clothes that make me feel like im worth something. I dont want my self esteem to be so low that I cant wear anything besides a tshirt and jeans because I dont want to be noticed. My sisters doing coke again. Her and her boyfriend have been fighting and making up. Shes worried hes using her. She makes all the money and he just quit his job. Hes always making mistakes. I think he is too and she should just leave. They stay uo and do coke then sleep all day. Her daughter has been calling me mama but I think sometimes she just uses that word to tell you what she wants. Or to get your attention. I think they need to spend more time with her. And when shes out running around they need to interact with her more. But in a lot of other ways shes spoiled. I just wanna spend more time with my sister. I need emotional help and her support. She walks in and barely says anything to me, always promising that we will hang out and get out of the house (which I also need someone to go with me anyways) and then doesnt follow through. She told me to move down here and I can stay in her other empty apartment. But now thats in jeopardy so here I am. She never talks to me or lets me talk to her about my feelings my anxiety. Yet I work everything through with her about her boyfriend. Shes so self centered and inconsiderate. But also I love her very much. I wanna get some clothes so I can be half way decent enough to go on a date with this girl. Shes beautiful and lovely and very successful. Shes pre law and in a soriety. She also seems to dress in a very popular style. And I just feel like a faliure next to her. No job. No higher education. People judge you for that. I just wanna at least look nice. It gives an elusion. But I also think she may not be as shallow. But I wanna empress and I dont want her to see my anxiety and how Im a hermit. I seem to only be comfortable “going out” like for fun if Im going out drinking and dancing with my sister. I wasted a lot of my klonopin. And I need the rest for an interview. I have this dumb tattoo on my hand. Itll probably ruin my chances. She texted just as I was writing about her. I dont know her but I can tell Id be proud to bring her home.

Ive gained my weight back since leaving my dads. His girlfriend was so cruel I went from 130 to 99.6. Mocking me for my suicide attempt in the past.

I literally drove myself into a wall. Back off. Two hour “family meetings” over a missing dish rag. Lying on me. Threatening to call the cops over nothing.

I feel like trash. And wasted potential. I feel myself getting more stupid.

I was prescribed 100 lamotrigine. I was on it before but they brought it up to 100 recently. The doctor who filled my lastest prescription gave me 200mg so I cant break them in half and theyd last long. I just started take 2 halfs a day. One in morning one at night. Its only been a day. And then I followed up this morning. I hope it helps. I wanna be independent. Financially, yes. But damn it I wanna be able to do what I want with out a babysitter. I dont wanna be dependent on anyone! So now I wanna ignore this girl until our date tonight. In case she asks about what I’m doing. So she doesnt know I dont have a job. So she doesn’t know Im sitting on the couch watching the first episode of the man in the high castle. Hope its good! Should I text her back? Hmmm. Anyways I think I may feel better getting this out.

I wanna move on from my ex and show her ive upgraded. As shallow and stupid as that sounds. I just know I was too good for herm and its been way longer than a year since we were officially together. But I would still see her when her and her girl would break up. She knows im always here waiting to be used. But not anymore. Havent been for a while. Ive sorta been tip toeing out of my shell. I just want her to see me be great cause she brought me down for so long. Is that stupid? Its not my main goal AT ALL. but is it crazy that itd be like..the chocolate drizzle on the fudge sunday?

[chaoticghost21]

Props & Mayhem; Chapter Thirteen

It was a few days later, the boys were cuddling on the couch watching Impractical Jokers. They were mostly quiet until they started laughing. Then Justin got the idea; the show was already funny but imagine how funny it would be if they were high? He'd bring that up to Alex the next commercial break. When the break finally came, Justin turned to Alex, “hey babe, what do you think about getting high and watching this?“

Alex raised an eyebrow “hmm sounds funnn we shouldddd” he giggled “why not”

“I'll go get the stuff,” Justin said, getting up and getting his pipe, bag of weed, and his vape pen, bringing it all out into the living room, setting it all on the coffee table.

Alex hums a little, sitting up on the edge of the couch. “I honestly kinda feel bad? Like i got so upset that you did it but like now i am?”

Justin shrugged, “oh well,” he packed the pipe and set it back on the table, taking a hit of the pen first. The pen itself was too weak but the flower in the pipe was too strong by itself so he would always use both to get him where he wanted to be. “Which one do you want first?” He asked Alex.

“The pipe first” Alex said, he still felt bad, he’d gotten so mad at Justin but now here he was doing the same thing, he felt hypocritical.

Justin handed him the pipe, he himself taking another hit off the pen before they switched.

Alex hummed quietly, taking a hit off of it, laying back and putting his head in Justin's lap.

Justin smiled at him, leaning down to kiss him before taking another hit.

Alex giggles, taking another hit off the pipe. “We should try that shotgunning thingggg”

“Okay,” Justin took a hit, holding it for a moment before leaning down and kissing Alex, blowing the smoke into his mouth as well did so.

Alex parted his lips slightly, wrapping his arms around Justin's neck. He pulled back after a second, letting the smoke out past his lips.

Justin smiled, kissing him again before repeating his actions with the pipe.

Alex giggles softly, taking a hit off the pen, “remember when we used to so this a lot in high school?” He hummed softly.

“Yeah, those were good and bad times but I got you out of it. I honestly think we can blame weed for our relationship,” Justin laughed.

Alex giggles and nods “honestly like, it's pretty much how we got together. Right after that one night.” He said softly “i honestly remember it like it was yesterday.”

“I was drunk and high literally 24/7 back then so I only remember bits and pieces, you should tell me the story,” Justin said, he did remember it but he loved the way Alex explained everything and how he told it.

“It was so like tense like. I called you because i just felt so bad and almost did something really bad. And at this point we were basically together, much closer than just friends, but you didn't really wanna admit it at the time. But you just came over and climbed up through my window. We cuddled and literally got high, i'm surprises my dad didn't know honestly like how?? But then you started being all fuckin sappy and cheesy and kissed me” Alex said, smiling “it was so nice honestly”

“Yeah. You know you are the first time I've seen love, the first I've ever experienced. But honestly it's the last I'll ever need and my future is nothing if I don't have you, I wouldn't throw this away for anything. We may be young but we know that this is love. Thank you for giving me another chance every time I screwed up. I love you so much, you are my world; my everything.”

Alex blushes and sits up, moving into Justin's lap. “You're so cheesy jusss” he says “but fuck i love you. You're honestly the only person i want to spend the rest of my life with. I really can't see myself without you. Well, alive anyway. You mean too much to me”

 “Me too, I honestly think we saved each other. Without you'd, I'd be dead, Wyeth l whether I did it myself or one of my mom's boyfriends did it, it was bound to happen and you got me out of there and now look at us. We're adults living together in our own apartment, away from that town and most of the people in it.”

“I know damn well that you saved me” Alex says “like literally. If you hadn't called me that night i'd be dead. But now we're here, yeah we both may be a little fucked up and not ready to tell each other some things but we have each other. And that will never change. no matter what.”

“Exactly, I wouldn't trade you for $1,000,000; I might trade you for penguin though,” Justin joked.

“You wouldnttttt” Alex pouts slightly “im cuter and more cuddly than a penguinnnn”

“But have you seen a penguin? The tiny blue ones, you may be cuddlier and cuter but you have to admit you want one of those, they're so little and cute!”

Alex giggles “okay okay fineeee they are cute. But we literally couldn't have one, it's not cold enough hereeee”

“I will invest in a lot of freezers,” Justin smiled.

“It will literally make our apartment like antarctica. And wed have to get a lot of raw fish and that would probably smell bad”

“I would do it just to have a penguin…. We could get multiple and open a penguin zoo!!!” Justin exclaimed very loudly, now bouncing up and down excitedly.

Alex giggles “Where would we open it thoughhhhh”

“We'd get a house and do it there, duh,” Justin said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Alex giggles and nods, nuzzling into his neck “we could do that one day” he said “maybe we could adopt a kid or two too?”

“Of course but we have to get married first. I want to get married before I do everything else.”

Alex smiles and nods “of course Jus” he said “i can't wait until we finally get to”

“Me either, just need some more money and maybe we could do it,” Justin looked off into space picturing their wedding in his head. He didn't know who would take who's last name but honestly he didn't care that much though he would prefer to take Alex's try get rid of the name he had, the one he wanted nothing to do with.

Alex smiles and looks up at him, “do you wanna have like a big proper church wedding or just a small one?” He says.

“Small one, only a few people there like your family and….” Justin trailed off, he didn't know who else would be at their wedding besides Alex's family.

“Maybe Monty and Jeff and zach?” Alex said, looking up at Justin “other than that i'm not really sure”

“Yeah, maybe. If I could have anyone there I'd wish that my mom would get cleaned up and show up and that she would act like she cares. I wish I knew the rest of my family but my mom never let me have communication with them. I know I have aunts, uncles, and cousins but I've never met them and I don't even know their names,” Justin said sadly a bit of hope laced his voice.

Alex frowns a little “maybe we could get in contact with them somehow? See if they could come?” Alex says softly.

He shrugged, “I doubt they even know I exist.”

“I'm sure theyd at least know that jus. Maybe they don't know you but i'm sure we could figure something out” he says, playing with Justin's hair

“I want to but I don't know how to or if they want to hear from me or if they even know of my existence. Maybe if I got on contact with them off find out why my dad left and why my mom hates me,” he said, leaning into Alex's hand, him loving his hair being played with.

“We’ll just have to try Jus.” Alex says softly “it won't hurt to try.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. When do you want to get married?” Justin asked him before taking another hit off the pen.

Alex hummed softly, taking a hit off the pipe “I don't think we’ll be able to anytime soon,” he said, “maybe in a few years?”

Justin nodded, “yeah it won’t be for a while, we definitely have to save up money first; from what I’ve heard weddings can be expensive.”

“I think they are. I mean from watching bridezillas and shit they get really expensive” Alex said, giggling a little.

“True… please tell me you aren’t going to be that way,” Justin begged.

“No i wontttt” Alex says, poking Justin's cheek “i may be dramatic but i'm not that dramatic.”

“Really? You’re not that dramatic,” Justin said with an eyebrow raised. “Have you forgotten about when the grocery store ran out of nutella and chocolate bars and you made a scene and got us kicked out of the store?”

Alex blushed brightly “i wanted nutella and chocolate! They should've had it” Alex pouted “i'm not dramaticcc”

“You screamed and fell to your knees, yelling about how cruel the world is and you wouldn’t stop until the manager came over and asked us to leave. Even then I had to drag you out of the store because you still wouldn’t stop.”

“Pfttttt i don't remember that part.” Alex said, blushing darker “that nEvEr happened.”

“They have your picture up in the store. You are not allowed back in. Did you forget the reason why I’m the one who has to do all the shopping?”

“At least i looked cute in the picture” Alex shrugged “okay fine maybe i'm a littleeee dramatic. You love it though.”

“You do look cute in the picture, I have to see it everytime I go into the store. All the workers stare at me like they think I stuffed you into a bag and brought you in with me though,” Justin kissed him, “you’re lucky you’re cute and I love you, because I hate that store.”

Alex giggles and kisses back “i love you toooo. And we could always go to another storeee.” He said “plus how would you stuff me into a bag and sneak me in. I wouldn't fit!”

“I could make you fit, and remember, I got kicked out of the other grocery store? I screamed at people because they made me mad… We can’t ever go grocery shopping in this town together until they stop the ban on us.. In about a month.”

“I'm still pretty sure people here just have something against us! Like they didn't need to ban usssss” Alex said “we could've been all domestic and went shopping together”

“We could’ve if you didn’t freak out and scream in a store for like 10 minutes straight and if I didn’t threaten to run over people with my cart… Maybe it is our fault.”

“Maybeeeee but still ! People have done worse things and they still get to goooo.”

“It was only a three month ban from each, other people have gotten worse.”

“Stillll” Alex said “i like going shopping with you cause i don't like sitting here all lonely.”

“Same, and I hate shopping by myself, I always forget things.”

“You always text me asking me what we neeeed” Alex giggles “it's cutee”

“It’s embarrassing, I always forget what we need and then I still forget to grab it after you tell me what we need,” he pouted.

“Awwww jusssss” Alex said, poking his lip “it's okayyyy”

Justin tried to bit his finger as it poked his lip.

Alex giggles a little “heyyyyy what was that forrr”

“You touch my lip, I bite,” Justin said, his voice muffled by Alex’s finger still in his mouth, “it’s the rules.”

Alex pouts and pulls his finger back “you just wanted an excuse to bite me.”

“I plead the fifth.”

“I don't know what that means” Alex says

“I choose to remain silent in order to not incriminate myself.”

“I still don't get it but oKaY”

“Well I have to learn some law stuff and you don’t, so makes sense,” Justin smiled.

“True” Alex says, laying on his shoulder, “m hungry” he mumbles softly.

“What do you want? I can make you something.”

Alex shrugs a little “i dunno” he says softly “surprise me?”

He nodded and went into the kitchen, after a lot of crashes and pots banging he finally came out, “we actually had stuff to make spaghetti so that’s what I did.”

Alex giggles and nods, standing up “is that why everything was banging?”

“I dropped pans and then it got stuck and I had difficulties but I DID IT!” Justin said victoriously.

Alex giggles and walks over to him, wrapping his arms around his neck “good for you jusss”

Justin picked him up and ran into the kitchen, carrying him the whole time. He set Alex down at the table, “now eat.”

“Gosh you sure seem excited” Alex giggles softly, “you sit down and eat too dork.”

Justin laughed and sat down across the small table from Alex, starting to eat.

Alex hummed and picked up the fork, biting his lip and hesitating slightly before taking a small bite.

Justin smiled at the fact that Alex was eating. He didn’t put that much on Alex’s plate but he put as much as he knew Alex could eat, he cared more about the boy than he did himself and even though Alex said it was fine, Justin was going to find a way to make it up to him for hitting him, he was going to find a way to pay him back.

Alex hummed a bit, taking another small bite and glancing up at Justin. “Whatcha thinking about jus?” He asked.

“You,” he replied with a smile.

Alex blushes a little “be more specific?”

“Just you in general, how much I love you and want to be with you forever. How adorable you are and just everything about you.”

Alex blushes and looks down “you're so cheesy sometimes gosh”

“Only for youuu!”

Alex giggles, smiling a bit “i knowwwww” he says, taking another bite.

Justin smiled, taking another bite before his phone went off, alerting him he had a text. He Looked back up at Alex, “Monty and Jeff want to know if we want to go out with them tomorrow night.”

“Hmmm yeah. Sure we can” he said, humming a bit

Justin nodded, texting back and putting his phone away, continuing eating.

Alex ate a few more bites before pushing the plate away, “m full”

Justin nodded, not wanting to push him and took the plate away.

Alex hummed softly to himself, playing with his sweater sleeves.

Justin walked back  over and huigged him, kissing his cheek.

Alex smiles a bit and hugs back, clinging to him “can we go back nd cuddle?”

“Yesss, do you wanna watch a movie??”

Alex nodded “please?” He says softly, looking up at Justin.

“What movie?”

“Uhhhh everything everything?”

He nods, putting it in and then going back to the couch

Alex smiles and sits next to him, nuzzling into his neck.

The movie played as they cuddled, Justin kissing Alex every once in awhile.

Alex smiles a little, closing his eyes and yawning a little “m sleepy”

“Let’s go to bed then, we actually have to do something tomorrow,” Justin said, getting up and offering his hand to Alex.

“Carry meeee” Alex pouts slightly “pleasee?”

Justin nodded and picked up Alex but the boy himself being very much under the influence of recreational drugs had difficulties and tripped over his feet, almost dropping Alex.

Alex squealed slightly, clinging tightly to Justin “m i too heavy” Alex asks softly, looking up at him.

“Not at all, you are very light, I’m just high and I tripped,” Justin said. “See look,” he said, lifting Alex up and down as if he were a weight.

Alex giggles softly, holding onto him “that's funnnnnnn”

Justin continued doing it and purposely threw Alex into the air, catching him as he came down.

Alex gasps softly, clinging to him once he came back down “holy fuck that was scary” he mumbled.

Justin laughed, “what, you don’t have faith in me to catch you?”

“I dooooo” Alex says “jus felt weird and scary. Of course i trust you Jus.”

“I would never drop you, if I started to fall or something, I would turn myself midair so you would land on me instead of the ground.”

Alex blushes a bit “gosh you're so protective sometimes Jus. ‘S cuteeee” he giggles “i love you”

“I love you too!” He kissed Alex.

Alex smiles and kisses back, keeping his arms around his neck “now let's go get in bed and cuddleeee”

He nodded and ran them to their bedroom, throwing Alex onto the bed, jumping onto the bed with him.

Alex giggles and bounces slightly, nuzzling into Justin’s neck once he gets in bed too

Justin smiled, kissing Alex's head before wrapping his arms around him.

Alex smile, humming quietly “night jus.” He says softly “i love youuu”

“Night Alex, I love you too, so freaking much,” Justin said, whispering the last part.

Alex smiles and kisses his cheek, closing his eyes and slowly falling asleep.

----------------------------------

Chapter 14 will be up on @13imagines-why in a few minutes!!

[themoneybuff-blog]

The Five Things You Need to Achieve Your Financial Goals

Given the enormous differences in the financial situations of different people, its easy to buy into the idea that those different stories have very little in common. After all, what exactly does a well-funded investor making his first millions have in common with a single parent with three kids trying to keep the rent paid? While those differences might be important, when I hear those stories, what I look for are the similarities. Their external situations might be really different, but the things that drive those people internally are actually quite similar. In fact, I would argue that there are really only five things that you need to have to achieve your financial goals, regardless of your financial state. They are things that everyone has access to, should they choose to do so. These five elements are present in virtually every financial success story, whether its someone making minimum wage and trying to pay off a student loan or someone trying to make their first million. Here are the five key ingredients I feel everyone needs to succeed at their financial goals. Of course, these ingredients largely hold true for almost every type of goal. Self-Evaluation This is the starting point for setting and achieving any kind of goal. You have to look at yourself and ask two absolutely vital questions: what do I have and what do I want. What do I have? To set any sort of realistic financial goal, you need to start with a realistic picture of where you are at. What are your assets? What things do you possess that have any value? What are your various account balances? What are your debts? What responsibilities and obligations do you have? Do you have a spouse or children or others that rely on you? What skills do you have? How can you apply those skills to make money? How much spare time do you have? What is your health like? Do you have the energy or capacity to work harder? At the same time, you have to have a firm grip on what you want. What is your goal? When do you want to achieve that goal? Is that goal challenging but still within the realm of reality (for example, I might have some sort of career in basketball, but Im never going to be an NBA player)? Is that goal deeply meaningful to you, or is it something someone else wants for you? You cant run a race if you dont know what your starting point is. You cant win a race if you dont know where the finish line is. So often, people take off running without even knowing where the starting line is or the finish line is and they wonder why they cant finish the race. While you might be able to come up with quick, trite answers to all of these questions, the truth is that all of these questions deserve some serious self-reflection, and those questions will lead to more questions. You need to really understand yourself, what you have, and what you want in order to be able to establish a worthwhile challenging goal for yourself, and thats going to take some self-reflection. There are a lot of different methods that people can use for self-reflection. I find journaling to be very powerful. I constantly turn over questions like these when Im journaling and they consistently move me toward better goals and better understanding of who I am, what I want, what I need, and what I should be doing with my time and energy. Whatever method you choose, I encourage you to set aside some time each day to really think through these questions. What do you have? What does your life situation really look like? What do you want out of life? How does all of that translate into some powerful goals that you can actually achieve that will equate to a better life? Planning Planning takes the output of a bunch of self-reflection and turns it into actionable steps that can take you from what you currently have to what you want to have. In other words, planning addresses the question of how do I get from what I have to what I want. Lets say you did some serious self-evaluation of where youre at and what you want and youve decided that a big healthy financial goal for yourself is to achieve debt freedom in three years. The first question you should ask yourself is what can I do this year that will help me achieve that big goal? Maybe its something as straightforward as paying off a quarter of your debt balance, because if you do that in a year, youre going to find it easier and easier to go faster and faster because interest isnt accumulating. This might include some other big step like getting a new job or moving to a less expensive apartment. Okay, then ask yourself what can I do this quarter that will help me achieve those end of the year goals? You might come up with a list of things here. They might be things oriented toward cutting back on your spending, like cutting your cable subscription. You might set a three month goal of getting your resume up to speed and applying to ten jobs that match you well. Maybe a three month goal is to find a cheaper apartment and move, or to find a roommate. Youll probably have a few you should have at least one for every goal you have for the year. Then, what can I do this month that will help me achieve those quarterly goals? Maybe youll simply make a great resume and get it uploaded in a bunch of places. Maybe youll cut your cable. Maybe youll do a serious search for a roommate. Maybe youll clean out your closet and sell off some of that stuff. Maybe youll give yourself a strong thirty day challenge, like cooking all of your meals at home, that will both directly save you money and help you build a skill going forward that will keep saving you money. Great, so what can you do this week to make those big goals for the month a reality? You might look for alternate ways to watch the two or three shows that youre keeping cable around for. Maybe you can ask a friend to look at your current resume and suggest improvements. Maybe you can ask five friends whether theyd be interested in being roommates. Maybe you can make a real meal plan for the week, get all of the ingredients in one shopping trip, and make all of your meals. That leaves us with one final question: what can you do today to make those week-long goals a reality? Just pick two or three things. Make a meal plan and a grocery list and head to the grocery store. Find your resume and send it to a good friend asking for advice on updating it. Call up a friend and see if theyd be interested in being a roommate. Each day, ask yourself to come up with two or three things that you can do today to make those week-long goals a reality. Then, do them. Make them a priority. Get them done before you flop on the couch to watch Netflix or look at your phone. Each week, do a bigger review. Make sure you finished up (or made good progress on) your plans and goals for the week, and set new ones for the next week. If its the start of the month, do it for the monthly goals. If its the start of a quarter, do it for the quarterly goals. If its the start of a year, do it for the yearly goals. (I do this on Sunday morning, usually.) Thats what planning is all about. Youe got your goal, so what does that break down to? Keep breaking it down until its some short tasks on your to-do list for the day, and then keep coming back to the goal asking yourself whats next. There will come a time with a lot of financial goals where there isnt something active to do, and thats fine, as long as youre not actually letting down your big goals by not doing anything. Thats when some of the other elements below come into play more than ever. Self-Control You have to be able to stop yourself from fulfilling desires, because desires are endless. You will always want something. There will always be a treat that you desire or that you think you deserve. This isnt easy. Our own internal voice makes it difficult. The pressures of society make it difficult. The nudging of our social circle can make it difficult. Yet it can be overcome. I think there are different answers to these problems for everyone, and so I cant always comment on what might work for you when it comes to figuring out self-control over the things you desire. All I can really point to is what worked best for me. First of all, I started evaluating literally everything I spent money on. Did I really need this thing? Was there a lower cost version that would have met that need, if there was a real need involved? If it was just fulfilling a desire, did I really get anything lasting out of that purchase? For many months, I went through every single credit card statement and every single bank statement and every single receipt and asked myself those questions about every single purchase. Every time I ever feel even a little out of whack financially, I go back to this and walk through those statements, asking myself those questions. But these things are so small! I would often think this very thought about a little splurge. Surely a dollar here and a dollar there cant make a difference, right? Its so tiny! Well, a pebble is tiny, too, but you cant expect to walk a marathon with a pebble in your shoe. With every step, the pebble will rub against your feet and eventually you arent making any progress any more. The next thing I did is that I started strongly questioning every desire. Every time I wanted to buy something, I would ask myself why I wanted to buy it. Why? What purpose did it serve? Would I get any lasting enjoyment out of this? Couldnt I get a similar pleasure out of other things I had available? Was this just something I was buying to make myself feel better about something else in my life i.e., retail therapy and wouldnt I be better off just addressing that something directly? What I found is that an awful lot of my desires were justified by the weakest and silliest and flimsiest of reasons, reasons that would fall apart very quickly if I allowed myself to question my reasoning. (Thats important, and Ill come back to it soon enough.) So, if I got into a routine of always questioning the reasoning for a purchase and I was willing to allow myself to recognize the silliness of some of my impulses, the number of non-essential purchases would just drop through the floor. If youre familiar with Buddhism, youll probably recognize this as having a lot in common with the eightfold path. Theyre both driving at the same thing: desires are often the source of a lot of misery in our lives, whether we fulfill them or not. Figuring out that most of our desires are pretty useless nips them in the bud and eventually kills them off entirely. Self-control is a challenging thing and sometimes youre going to fail. What happens then? Grit Grit is the fourth essential ingredient you need to achieve financial goals. Its a willingness to recognize your mistakes and learn from them. Its a willingness to pick yourself up when life knocks you down. Its getting back on board with a plan when something knocks you off of it. The reality is that at some point during your progress toward your financial goal, something is going to happen that knocks you off your gameplan. It can be something completely out of left field, it might be something you should have planned for, it could even be your own foolishness. Whatever it happens to be, it either strongly tempts you or it knocks you completely off your game. Youre no longer cruising right toward your destination. You might feel like that destination is in doubt. You probably feel frustrated. You might feel ashamed. Its awful. Trust me, Ive been there. Many of us have been there. The question is whether or not youre willing to pick yourself up and keep moving forward toward that goal. If youre not willing to do that, then you dont have grit. Youre not going to achieve major goals in life if youre not willing to stand back up when things dont go perfectly. According to the wonderful book Grit by Angela Duckworth, there are four key elements to grit: Step one: Identify a burning passion. Step two: Practice it with commitment. Step three: Find inner purpose in your work. Step four: Persevere when things get hard. If you have a deeply meaningful goal, you have that burning passion and inner purpose. If you have a plan that youre reviewing and working toward daily, you have that commitment. What about perseverance when things are hard? Ive found a couple things that help here. First, automate as much of your plan as you can during the early stages. That way, when things go awry later on, much of your plan will just keep on trucking when your focus is elsewhere. Set up automatic savings plans and automatic contributions to retirement. Second, have an emergency fund that you can tap when things go sideways. My preferred method for this is to set up a weekly automatic transfer from your checking account to your savings account $10 or $20 or whatever you can afford. Then, just let it roll. When an emergency strikes, tap that emergency fund first. Youll find that a lot of emergencies just melt away and dont actually hurt your progress. Finally, think about what went wrong and incorporate what you learn into some revisions to your plan. Why did things get out of whack? That takes you right back to the self-reflection part of the equation. Reflect deeply on what went wrong and what needs to change to ensure that you dont make that mistake again. Youll likely alter your plans, at least a little, and thats a good thing. Theres just one final ingredient. Patience Most personal finance goals are marathons rather than sprints. The goal youre aiming for is years and years down the road and there are times when it seems impossibly far in the distance. Patience is the key to success in those situations. You have to be able to accept that the big success you want wont happen tomorrow or the day after. Rather, it only happens after a long sequence of little successes, many of which will basically be invisible to you in terms of your day to day life. This is very hard for humans. Were genetically predispositioned to not think in the long term. Rather, were short-term thinkers. We think about the day ahead and the week ahead and perhaps the month ahead, but beyond that, it gets kind of nebulous. It becomes this vague sense of the future. Sure, well do things that we know we need to do now because they are necessary for future endeavors, but unless its a really clear direct payoff, most of us will procrastinate or not worry about it. The urgent almost always trumps the important. So, how can you help yourself be patient when it comes to a long-term goal? One good method is to look at the little successes that youre achieving due to marking off those short-term daily and weekly goals. How many days this month did you eat at home? How many of your weekly goals did you knock out? Those are the metrics you should be looking at. Focus on those things and the big goal will become an inevitability. Another strategy is, as suggested earlier, to automate as much of your financial plan as you can. That way, during the long stretches where your patience is being tested, much of your plan is on autopilot and doesnt require any active decision making. A final technique, one that works particularly well for me, is to constantly refresh that long-term vision. On a very regular basis often weekly I think about my long-term goals and what my life will be like when I achieve them. I intentionally dive deep into my goals and try to visualize what some aspect of my life will be like at that point. Ill imagine Sarah and I, slightly older, camping in the Shenandoah National Forest. Ill imagine myself writing a novel somewhere. Ill imagine myself feeding a grandchild a spoonful of baby food. For me, its those details often unique ones that keep the overall goal alive and help me maintain my patience. Final Thoughts Self-evaluation. Planning. Self-control. Grit. Patience. Those are the elements of success no matter what your financial situation might be and no matter what your financial goals might be. If you bring all five of those elements to bear in order to improve your financial state, youll find that your goals move from being impossible pipe dreams to being achievable (though still challenging) ambitions. Good luck! Read more by Trent Hamm: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-five-things-you-need-to-achieve-your-financial-goals/

[alifeenrouteblog]

a week in ireland: recap and travel tips

I went to Ireland for a week with my family! Here are some things I saw, did, and learned. Maybe it will be helpful for you if you ever go!

Overall, I loved it. It was way more beautiful than I thought it would be. I was kind of expecting it to be just green. It is very green. But there's also a lot of mountain views, ocean views, a lot of bodies of water actually. The green pastures are full of sheep, cows, and horses, and since we were then in early May, we got to see a bunch of baby animals on our drives. IT WAS FREAKING ADORABLE! 

The best part of Ireland? The people are so effing nice. So nice. Not in a creepy, fake way like in the Midwest of the US. No one really approached us. Men didn't oggle me. But if we ever approached someone to ask for directions, help they were very very helpful and never acted as if they were annoyed or we were inconveniencing them. Same for servers and bartenders. I couldn't believe how kind they were for people who don't make their living off tips. The service was usually a bit slow compared to the US but if you're not in a rush and just relax, it's not a big deal. At one point, my brother asked a bartender for a "Jameson and Pep", a coworker told him it was really popular in Ireland. The bartender didn't know what it was, but he was so nice abou it and we could tell that he genuinely wanted to find out what it was so he could make it. When I'm at a bar in the US and need something somewhat obscure from the bar, and bartenders are so sassy or dicks. The Irish bartender's response surprised me, it wasn't what I was used to. He could've easily made Ryan feel uncomfortable but he was a total pro. That's just one example of how the people were so, so, so nice. We had some freaking hilarious taxi drivers, who were also incredibly helpful.....The Irish people truly made the trip.

Currency: Euro. A lot of places took cards. But if you want to go to the old, small pubs be prepared and bring cash.

Tipping rules confused me. You always hear, “They don’t tip in Europe”, but it doesn’t seem to be completely absent. To be safe, I would say leave 10%. Note: If you’re paying by card there’s usually not a way to tip on your card. Try to leave a 1 or 2 Euro coin.

How expensive Dublin is surprised me. A pint of Guinness was about $8. I couldn’t find an AirBnB (whole flat) for less than $200. A private room was at least $80. Groceries were really expensive.

Helpful Tip: They use the UK outlets, i.e. the three-prong outlet.

Transportation:

·      The Irish Rail system, which goes all around Ireland was great. Very clean and on time. I can’t speak for the entire system but all the routes I looked at had times starting at 6:30am and leaving every two hours after.

·      However, I only ended up taking one train, from Killarney to Dublin. We ended up driving around the country, which I recommend if you don’t mind driving on the left side.

·      Uber operates in Dublin, but it uses regular taxis and its metered. Or they have UberBlack, which is obviously more expensive. I requested a car on the app a few times. Just one time it worked. The other two or three times, no one responded.

Helpful Tip: Speak quietly. Apparently, Irish people generally speak quietly and a lot of times Americans embarass themselvesw by being loud in public places. This was hard for me. I'm a very loud person. :)

Helpful Tip: public transportation and the train system have wifi. Most restaurants and pubs have wifi. A lot of times its open. If not, just ask your server or the bartender what the password is. Everyone is more than willing to give it out.  

Dublin

Grogan’s Castle Lounge – a fantastic, authentic, very old school pub. Its carpeted, which gave it a cool 70s vibe. Bring cash – they don’t take cards. And be prepared for it to be packed.

Temple Bar area is the area where young, hot people party. Soooo many bars. It was very sunny in Dublin when iw as there, which rare, so the bars were packed especially the outdoor areas. People were spilling into the sidewalks. I even saw folks take stools out to the sidewalk or street. I saw that multiple times, so I think it’s pretty normal and acceptable. As busy as the area is, it’s not rowdy or gross. Everyone holds their liquor well. It's not too loud. Definitely worth going during the day time or evening.

Storehouse – in the Temple Bar area - this place felt and looked newer but still had the set-up of a traditional Irish bar/restaurant. They do have a full menu, which looked awesome and full of Irish meals, and take credit cards. They have live music, but it's more contemporary, not the traditional Irish music.

Walk along the River Liffy. We were so lucky to have fabulous weather. It was sunny and in the 70s every day. We walked along the river and stopped at a little café (almost like a little snack shack) on the river for coffee.

Walk around Trinity College. It’s gorgeous. Go on a Saturday and watch a cricket match at the park adjacent to the campus. It is so fun to watch – even if you don’t know what’s going on. Cricket matches have long breaks throughout when the teams went to their locker rooms (?) a bunch of dads took their little kids on the grass and pitched a cricket ball to the kid, who had a cricket bat. The kids were like two to four years old, so it freaking darling.

Trim: Great day trip when staying in Dublin: Less than an hour drive from Dublin you can go to the city of Trim, to see the Trim Castle. Trim Castle is a special place for the DeLacy family. Hugh DeLacy, kind of the patriarch of our family, built the castle in 1172. The DeLacys were the lords of Meath (now County Meath). Three generations of DeLacy's lived here and were kind of royalty. Pretty dope right?

 The town of Trim is really cute. You could hang out there for a few hours, walking around and eating and drinking. The castle is also surrounded by really beautiful grounds that would be a nice stroll.

After 3-4 days in Dublin, I recommend leaving and going to Galway or Clare Island, both across the country. We did not go to Clare Island but a lot of people recommended it.

Galway

If you go to Galway, drive first to Connemera National Park. Spend a few hours there and hike along the trail.

Galway surprised me. It’s kind of a kitschy beach town. A cuter and more sophisticated version of a Jersey Shore or Myrtle Beach. And much smaller. They had small (very small) amusement parks, with some thrill rides. It was a very cute town.

We stayed at the Salt Hill Hotel, which was really pretty and right on the water. It’s about a 10 min taxi to the busy part of town with all the restaurants and pubs. All the restaurants and pubs looked good. It’s a busy place, so if you go for dinner you might have to try a few places to find a table. I don’t think you could go wrong with many places here. But a few recommendations:

Neactain Bar – old, authentic, small outside patio. Great place to have a pint and a cigarette. Inside, they have these cool little closed off rooms for each table. There’s no door but they have walls between tables so you get some privacy.

 ‘Tis Coilis – for great, authentic Irish bar

I heard Dough Brothers Pizza is good (from a pizzeria owner) but we did not go there.

 When you leave Galway head to the Cliffs of Moher for the day, before heading to your next hotel or AirBNB.

Cliffs of Moher:  A must see. Very beautiful. And a little scary. Try to skip the entry fee by parking far away. The tickets you pay for in the lot are for the visitor center and not for the Cliffs themselves.

Doolin: Cute town we stopped in to go to the bathroom after leaving the Cliffs of Moher. But it ended up having a very cute town center, with shops and cafes, and of course pubs. It looked quiet so if that’s your jam, this would be a great place to stay for a night or two when you visit the COM.

Go to Dingle!: We did not go but everyone I talked to in the U.S. and in Ireland said to go to Dingle. It’s supposed to be beautiful.

We also stayed in Ennis. I didn’t do much here. I opted out of dinner with family – I needed some alone time to rejuvenate. I didn’t hear strong opinions from them either way. It looked like it was more on the boring side. Its significantly inland, so I would not recommend it unless it’s on your route or there’s something you know you want to do around there.

Killarney:  Very cool town. I was underwhelmed we drove up to our hotel – it just looked like a bunch of hotels and houses. But when I met my family in town for dinner, I saw that there was a great town center. Lots of pubs, restaurants, shops. I don’t remember any restaurants or pubs we went to, but they all looked great.

Not far from the town center, there’s the Killarney National Park. My family went on a hike here after I left for Budapest. My brother said it was brutal - straight rock climbing for 1,500 feet.

Helpful Tip: When departing Dublin, take airport security rules seriously. They are very strict about them here. Over half the bags got pulled to the side, including my suitcase. There were so many bags pulled off to the side it took about 15 minutes for someone to even look at mine. I know that you’re supposed to take out your liquids, but I never do. Ever. But I just assumed that theyd look through my bag and see that all my liquids met the size requirement and I would get my bag back. When the gentleman did bring my bag back, he handed me a sandwich bag, and told me that I had to put all of my liquids, creams, and aerosol cans into the bag – AND IT HAD TO CLOSE. It took me about ten minutes and the dude watched me the whole time! I had to throw out lotion, body wash, conditioner, and something else. He watched until I sealed the bag to make sure each centimeter was sealed. It was so annoying. And it totally ruined my adorable makeup, toiletry bag. I can’t put them in a plastic baggie – I need to use my awesome cosmetic case!!!

Make sure you follow these annoying rules from RyanAir.com: “Liquids carried must be in a container of no more than 100ml (3.4 ounces) All liquids should be carried in a single, transparent, re-sealable plastic bag of up to 20cm x 20cm with a total capacity of up to a litre. You must be able to completely close the bag and be able to fit it in your hand baggage.”

I also saw a lot of people get pulled for computers, iPads that they left in their bag.

[themoneybuff-blog]

Are you a shopaholic? How to fight a shopping addiction

Yesterday, I mentioned that because I grew up poor, I inherited a faulty money blueprint from my parents. They didnt know how to handle money effectively, so they couldnt teach me how to handle it effectively. I entered adulthood with many of the same bad habits theyd had when I was a kid. I was a compulsive spender, for instance. I had a shopping addiction. I had no willpower, no impulse control. Even when I had no money in the bank, I still found ways to spend. I took on over $20,000 in credit card debt before I turned 25!

Nowadays, I mostly have my spending under control. Im no longer in debt, and I force myself to make conscious decisions about what I purchase. (Conscious spending is one of the keys to overcoming emotional spending.) Having said that, I know that if I relax for even a moment, Ill be right back in my old habits. Ill find myself at the grocery store buying magazines to soothe a bruised ego, or shopping for music in the iTunes store because I had a stressful day. How do I know Ill relapse if Im not careful? Because I do from time to time. When I was prepping for my big talk at the end of June, for example, I felt super stressed and my shopping addiction kicked in. I spent an afternoon browsing on Amazon, putting things in my shopping basket. (I even ordered a few of the things, although I knew I shouldnt.) Emotional spending is comforting not just for me, but for a lot of other people too. Though Im a recovering spendaholic, Im still a spendaholic. Im always one step away from compulsive spending. My story is not unique. What Is a Shopping Addiction? People who have a shopping addiction suffer from whats known as compulsive spending. According to the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery: Compulsive shopping and spending is described as a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences. It is defined as an impulse control disorder and has features similar to other addictive disorders without involving the use of an intoxicating drug. The organization offers the following list of warning signs of a shopping addiction: Shopping of spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in ones life.Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.Feeling lost without credit cards.Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.Thinking excessively about money.Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending. Ive experienced all of these. In fact, I used to suffer from many of these at the same time. It felt awful. An addiction to spending is a scary, dangerous thing. As with other addictions, victims feel lost and out of control. People who have never suffered from a shopping addiction cant understand the problem, and you may have a hard time explaining it to them. They dont know what its like to see something and feel the urge to buy it now. They dont know the lure of the shopping rush and the subsequent nausea from the guilt have having spent too much. Overspendershave confused and confusing relationships with money, write psychologists Brad and Ted Klontz in Mind Over Money. On one hand, theyre convinced that money and the things it can buy will make them happy; yet theyre often broke because they cant control their spending. Fortunately, Ive learned some ways to cope with emotional spending. Though Im still tempted, I dont spend nearly as much as I used to because Ive developed habits that help me do the right thing, even when the right thing is difficult. How to Fight a Shopping Addiction Based on my own experience and based on conversations Ive had with others here are seven strategies you can use to fight a shopping addiction: Cut up your credit cards. If you have a problem with compulsive spending, destroy your credit cards now. Dont make excuses. Dont jot the account numbers someplace just in case. Dont rationalize that you need them to help your credit score. If credit cards fuel your emotional spending, youre better off without them. (You can always get new cards once youve learned better habits.)Carry cash only. Dont use your checkbook or a debit card. Inconvenient? Absolutely, but thats the point. If youre a compulsive spender, your goal is to break the habit. To do this, youve got to make sacrifices. Spending cash is a way to remind yourself that youre spending real money. Plastic (and to some degree checks) make this connection fuzzy.Track every penny you spend. You may not even be aware of how much youre spending. Back when I let my emotions rule my financial life, I had no idea how many books I was buying, for example. But once I started tracking every dollar that came into and went out of my life, patterns became clear. When you see your spending patterns, you can act on them.Play mind games. For some people, money isnt an emotional issue. Theyre able to make logical choices and not be tempted to otherwise. Theyre lucky. For most of us, however, it doesnt work that way. If youre in this majority, find ways to play tricks on yourself. You might train yourself to use the 30-day rule, for instance: When you see something you want, dont buy it right away; instead, note it on your calendar for 30 days in the future. If you still want it in a month, consider buying it. Ive found that I can keep myself from buying a lot of stuff by simply putting it on my Amazon wish list. I come back later and wonder why I was ever tempted!Avoid temptation. The best way to keep from spending is to avoid situations that tempt you to spend in the first place. If your weakness is books, stay out of bookstores and avoid Amazon. If you tend to overspend at big department stores, stay away from the mall. Stop going to the places where you normally spend, especially if youre under emotional stress.Remind yourself of larger goals. Ive struggled with my weight all my life. Whenever Im tempted to eat something bad, I ask myself, Will this help me or hurt me? The same question can be asked when youre about to make an impulse purchase. Will your new toy bring you closer to your goals or move you further away? (If youre not clear on your larger goals, try drafting a personal mission statement.)Ask for help. Theres no shame in asking for help if youre having trouble with your spending. Talk to a close friend or family member, and ask for support in breaking the cycle of compulsive spending. You may even want to seek professional help. But remember: If you ask for help, dont get angry when your counselors call you on your missteps. Listen to what they have to say. Each of these techniques can help curb your shopping addiction to some degree. Different techniques will appeal to different people. Theres one other strategy that Ive found to be very effective for myself: When I find myself tempted to buy something, I force myself to stop for a moment and ask myself some serious questions.

What to Do When Youre Tempted to Buy Lets say youre in the mall or at the Electronics Emporium. Theres nothing you need to buy, but youre killing time while your spouse finishes an errand. As you wait, you browse. You admire the Thneeds. Look! Theres a new one! Its bright and shiny and you think it will make you happy, so you pick it up, walk to the register to purchase it. Wait! Before you buy, think about the following questions: When will I use this? When you buy compulsively, when you spend on impulse, you tend to acquire a lot of stuff you never use. Look around your home. Do you have unopened CDs or DVDs? Unread books? Unplayed videogames? Do you have clothes that still sport their price tags? Do you have a collection of money-saving gadgets gathering dust in your closets and kitchen drawers? Before you buy something new, ask yourself when youll actually use it and be honest with yourself.Do I have another one like this already? If so, whats wrong with the old one? I use this question in a variety of situations, especially when Im tempted to buy clothes. Kim gets frustrated with my tendency to acquire new t-shirts, for example. You already have five blue t-shirts, she told me recently. Why do you need another? This is also a great question to ask when faced with the urge to upgrade. Do you really need to replace your iPhone?If I buy this, where will I put it? Its surprising how often this question prevents me from buying something new. For the past few years, Ive had limited space to store stuff. First, Kim and I were on the road in an RV with no storage. Next, we moved to a smaller house. If I force myself to think about where Ill store whatever it is that tempts me, thats often enough to make me decide not to buy it.If I buy this, can I pay cash? Would I pay cash for this? When I was in debt, I bought almost everything on credit. I figured I could pay for it later. All of my cash went to pay my credit card bills. I was dumb. Ive since realized that if something isnt worth saving for, if its not worth buying with cash, then its almost certainly not worth buying on credit.Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? I used to be a new snob. I believed that things were only worth buying if I could have them in new, pristine condition. Now I know that great deals can be had on gently used items. This is true of cars, of course, but its also true of games, electronics, clothing, and more. Make a habit of checking Craigslist first and taking a look at your local thrift store.Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? I overheard a story the other day. Evan was preparing for some yardwork and making an inventory of his tools. He decided he wanted a chainsaw. He called his friend Lee to ask for advice on which one to buy. Why do you want to buy a chainsaw? Lee asked. Do you have a lot of trees to clear? Evan admitted that he did not. Then why dont you just borrow mine? Lee asked. When done respectfully, borrowing is a great alternative to buying new.Can I wait to buy this? One of the best things Ive done to fight my shopping addiction is to teach myself to wait. For the past decade, Ive used the afore-mentioned 30-day rule. When I find myself in the Electronics Emporium holding the latest game for the Nintendo Switch, I put it back and tell myself that I can buy it in 30 days if I still want it. The key is to make yourself wait to make a purchase, to not give in to your desire to buy in the moment.Why do I want to buy this? And why do I want to buy it today? Its true that many times Im inclined to buy something because it would fill a need in my life. But just as often I find myself wanting to buy things because Ive recently seen an ad. Or, worse, a friend has shown me some cool new gadget. In these cases, Im not filling an ongoing need; Im simply trying to fill a sense of lack created by comparing myself with others. If I can figure out why I have the urge to buy something, I can sometimes make the urge go away.Are there better options available? This is a great question to trick myself into taking more time. If I find myself browsing Amazon tempted to buy a compound miter saw, for example, I can sometimes talk myself out of it by realizing that I have no idea whether this compound miter saw is the best model. Instead, I go research compound miter saws (or whatever) via Consumer Reports and online review sites. I try to find the best option. Most of the time, the process gets overwhelming: There are so many compound miter saws with so many different features! I lose interest and I save myself some money.What would my partner say if I bought this? Kim isnt opposed to everything I buy, but shes often able to detect compulsive spending when I cannot. Sometimes if Im tempted buy a new toy, I try to put myself in her shoes, to view the purchase through her eyes. If, from her perspective, the purchase seems reasonable, then I consider it. But it looks foolish, I often change my mind. Ive used all of these questions to learn to control my shopping addiction. I dont ask myself all of these questions every time I shop. Each is useful in certain situations. And these questions dont stop all of my purchases. But Ive found that if I give myself honest answers, they can prevent a lot of spending. Additional Resources For more information on coping with compulsive spending and shopping addiction, explore the following web sites: Finally, consider seeking professional help. There is no shame in obtaining psychotherapy for problems that seem bigger than you. Ultimately you must look inward to overcome any form of addiction a therapist is like a trained guide who can help you find the way. The good news is you can overcome this. You can break free from emotional spending. The bad news is that it takes work. It wont happen overnight. Youll make mistakes, and youll backslide. When you do, dont give up. Dont beat yourself up because you bought a new purse or played a round of golf at the new course. Youre human. Keep focused on your long-term goal, and resolve to do better next time. [embedded content] https://www.getrichslowly.org/shopping-addiction/

[themoneybuff-blog]

Are you a shopaholic? How to fight a shopping addiction

Yesterday, I mentioned that because I grew up poor, I inherited a faulty money blueprint from my parents. They didnt know how to handle money effectively, so they couldnt teach me how to handle it effectively. I entered adulthood with many of the same bad habits theyd had when I was a kid. I was a compulsive spender, for instance. I had a shopping addiction. I had no willpower, no impulse control. Even when I had no money in the bank, I still found ways to spend. I took on over $20,000 in credit card debt before I turned 25!

Nowadays, I mostly have my spending under control. Im no longer in debt, and I force myself to make conscious decisions about what I purchase. (Conscious spending is one of the keys to overcoming emotional spending.) Having said that, I know that if I relax for even a moment, Ill be right back in my old habits. Ill find myself at the grocery store buying magazines to soothe a bruised ego, or shopping for music in the iTunes store because I had a stressful day. How do I know Ill relapse if Im not careful? Because I do from time to time. When I was prepping for my big talk at the end of June, for example, I felt super stressed and my shopping addiction kicked in. I spent an afternoon browsing on Amazon, putting things in my shopping basket. (I even ordered a few of the things, although I knew I shouldnt.) Emotional spending is comforting not just for me, but for a lot of other people too. Though Im a recovering spendaholic, Im still a spendaholic. Im always one step away from compulsive spending. My story is not unique. What Is a Shopping Addiction? People who have a shopping addiction suffer from whats known as compulsive spending. According to the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery: Compulsive shopping and spending is described as a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences. It is defined as an impulse control disorder and has features similar to other addictive disorders without involving the use of an intoxicating drug. The organization offers the following list of warning signs of a shopping addiction: Shopping of spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in ones life.Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.Feeling lost without credit cards.Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.Thinking excessively about money.Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending. Ive experienced all of these. In fact, I used to suffer from many of these at the same time. It felt awful. An addiction to spending is a scary, dangerous thing. As with other addictions, victims feel lost and out of control. People who have never suffered from a shopping addiction cant understand the problem, and you may have a hard time explaining it to them. They dont know what its like to see something and feel the urge to buy it now. They dont know the lure of the shopping rush and the subsequent nausea from the guilt have having spent too much. Overspendershave confused and confusing relationships with money, write psychologists Brad and Ted Klontz in Mind Over Money. On one hand, theyre convinced that money and the things it can buy will make them happy; yet theyre often broke because they cant control their spending. Fortunately, Ive learned some ways to cope with emotional spending. Though Im still tempted, I dont spend nearly as much as I used to because Ive developed habits that help me do the right thing, even when the right thing is difficult. How to Fight a Shopping Addiction Based on my own experience and based on conversations Ive had with others here are seven strategies you can use to fight a shopping addiction: Cut up your credit cards. If you have a problem with compulsive spending, destroy your credit cards now. Dont make excuses. Dont jot the account numbers someplace just in case. Dont rationalize that you need them to help your credit score. If credit cards fuel your emotional spending, youre better off without them. (You can always get new cards once youve learned better habits.)Carry cash only. Dont use your checkbook or a debit card. Inconvenient? Absolutely, but thats the point. If youre a compulsive spender, your goal is to break the habit. To do this, youve got to make sacrifices. Spending cash is a way to remind yourself that youre spending real money. Plastic (and to some degree checks) make this connection fuzzy.Track every penny you spend. You may not even be aware of how much youre spending. Back when I let my emotions rule my financial life, I had no idea how many books I was buying, for example. But once I started tracking every dollar that came into and went out of my life, patterns became clear. When you see your spending patterns, you can act on them.Play mind games. For some people, money isnt an emotional issue. Theyre able to make logical choices and not be tempted to otherwise. Theyre lucky. For most of us, however, it doesnt work that way. If youre in this majority, find ways to play tricks on yourself. You might train yourself to use the 30-day rule, for instance: When you see something you want, dont buy it right away; instead, note it on your calendar for 30 days in the future. If you still want it in a month, consider buying it. Ive found that I can keep myself from buying a lot of stuff by simply putting it on my Amazon wish list. I come back later and wonder why I was ever tempted!Avoid temptation. The best way to keep from spending is to avoid situations that tempt you to spend in the first place. If your weakness is books, stay out of bookstores and avoid Amazon. If you tend to overspend at big department stores, stay away from the mall. Stop going to the places where you normally spend, especially if youre under emotional stress.Remind yourself of larger goals. Ive struggled with my weight all my life. Whenever Im tempted to eat something bad, I ask myself, Will this help me or hurt me? The same question can be asked when youre about to make an impulse purchase. Will your new toy bring you closer to your goals or move you further away? (If youre not clear on your larger goals, try drafting a personal mission statement.)Ask for help. Theres no shame in asking for help if youre having trouble with your spending. Talk to a close friend or family member, and ask for support in breaking the cycle of compulsive spending. You may even want to seek professional help. But remember: If you ask for help, dont get angry when your counselors call you on your missteps. Listen to what they have to say. Each of these techniques can help curb your shopping addiction to some degree. Different techniques will appeal to different people. Theres one other strategy that Ive found to be very effective for myself: When I find myself tempted to buy something, I force myself to stop for a moment and ask myself some serious questions.

What to Do When Youre Tempted to Buy Lets say youre in the mall or at the Electronics Emporium. Theres nothing you need to buy, but youre killing time while your spouse finishes an errand. As you wait, you browse. You admire the Thneeds. Look! Theres a new one! Its bright and shiny and you think it will make you happy, so you pick it up, walk to the register to purchase it. Wait! Before you buy, think about the following questions: When will I use this? When you buy compulsively, when you spend on impulse, you tend to acquire a lot of stuff you never use. Look around your home. Do you have unopened CDs or DVDs? Unread books? Unplayed videogames? Do you have clothes that still sport their price tags? Do you have a collection of money-saving gadgets gathering dust in your closets and kitchen drawers? Before you buy something new, ask yourself when youll actually use it and be honest with yourself.Do I have another one like this already? If so, whats wrong with the old one? I use this question in a variety of situations, especially when Im tempted to buy clothes. Kim gets frustrated with my tendency to acquire new t-shirts, for example. You already have five blue t-shirts, she told me recently. Why do you need another? This is also a great question to ask when faced with the urge to upgrade. Do you really need to replace your iPhone?If I buy this, where will I put it? Its surprising how often this question prevents me from buying something new. For the past few years, Ive had limited space to store stuff. First, Kim and I were on the road in an RV with no storage. Next, we moved to a smaller house. If I force myself to think about where Ill store whatever it is that tempts me, thats often enough to make me decide not to buy it.If I buy this, can I pay cash? Would I pay cash for this? When I was in debt, I bought almost everything on credit. I figured I could pay for it later. All of my cash went to pay my credit card bills. I was dumb. Ive since realized that if something isnt worth saving for, if its not worth buying with cash, then its almost certainly not worth buying on credit.Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? I used to be a new snob. I believed that things were only worth buying if I could have them in new, pristine condition. Now I know that great deals can be had on gently used items. This is true of cars, of course, but its also true of games, electronics, clothing, and more. Make a habit of checking Craigslist first and taking a look at your local thrift store.Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? I overheard a story the other day. Evan was preparing for some yardwork and making an inventory of his tools. He decided he wanted a chainsaw. He called his friend Lee to ask for advice on which one to buy. Why do you want to buy a chainsaw? Lee asked. Do you have a lot of trees to clear? Evan admitted that he did not. Then why dont you just borrow mine? Lee asked. When done respectfully, borrowing is a great alternative to buying new.Can I wait to buy this? One of the best things Ive done to fight my shopping addiction is to teach myself to wait. For the past decade, Ive used the afore-mentioned 30-day rule. When I find myself in the Electronics Emporium holding the latest game for the Nintendo Switch, I put it back and tell myself that I can buy it in 30 days if I still want it. The key is to make yourself wait to make a purchase, to not give in to your desire to buy in the moment.Why do I want to buy this? And why do I want to buy it today? Its true that many times Im inclined to buy something because it would fill a need in my life. But just as often I find myself wanting to buy things because Ive recently seen an ad. Or, worse, a friend has shown me some cool new gadget. In these cases, Im not filling an ongoing need; Im simply trying to fill a sense of lack created by comparing myself with others. If I can figure out why I have the urge to buy something, I can sometimes make the urge go away.Are there better options available? This is a great question to trick myself into taking more time. If I find myself browsing Amazon tempted to buy a compound miter saw, for example, I can sometimes talk myself out of it by realizing that I have no idea whether this compound miter saw is the best model. Instead, I go research compound miter saws (or whatever) via Consumer Reports and online review sites. I try to find the best option. Most of the time, the process gets overwhelming: There are so many compound miter saws with so many different features! I lose interest and I save myself some money.What would my partner say if I bought this? Kim isnt opposed to everything I buy, but shes often able to detect compulsive spending when I cannot. Sometimes if Im tempted buy a new toy, I try to put myself in her shoes, to view the purchase through her eyes. If, from her perspective, the purchase seems reasonable, then I consider it. But it looks foolish, I often change my mind. Ive used all of these questions to learn to control my shopping addiction. I dont ask myself all of these questions every time I shop. Each is useful in certain situations. And these questions dont stop all of my purchases. But Ive found that if I give myself honest answers, they can prevent a lot of spending. Additional Resources For more information on coping with compulsive spending and shopping addiction, explore the following web sites: Finally, consider seeking professional help. There is no shame in obtaining psychotherapy for problems that seem bigger than you. Ultimately you must look inward to overcome any form of addiction a therapist is like a trained guide who can help you find the way. The good news is you can overcome this. You can break free from emotional spending. The bad news is that it takes work. It wont happen overnight. Youll make mistakes, and youll backslide. When you do, dont give up. Dont beat yourself up because you bought a new purse or played a round of golf at the new course. Youre human. Keep focused on your long-term goal, and resolve to do better next time. [embedded content] https://www.getrichslowly.org/shopping-addiction/