#i never know how to describe this one lmao; romantic drama? college au? it's all over the place

[alrightbuckaroo]

Fanfic Friday

Thanks for the tag @three-drink-amy!

Rules: share a fic you wrote that you are proud of! Moodboard optional!

come and take a walk on the wild side

Play the part, live the lie; this is how we survive.

Carlos Reyes is a college student who's trying to pay his New York rent, get his cybersecurity degree and make his dad understand he doesn't need to worry about his son's future. That said, Carlos isn't too sure he's not worried about his own future. It feels like each day begets a question that can't be answered.

After meeting TK Strand during a night out; he thinks he might just be the answer he's been looking for. What they didn't plan for, was Carlos being the answer TK wasn't looking for.

---

I don't know, I just really love this one. I accidentally fell in love with the aesthetic, I've had a blast writing my favorite villain, Sampson "Sam" Hartlock, and it's given me a whole new meaning of slow burn. Yeah, just really love this one.

tagging: @reyesstrand, @carlos-in-glasses, @heartstringsduet, @bonheur-cafe, @sanjuwrites, @orchidscript, @birdclowns, @inflarescent, @welcometololaland, @rmd-writes, @rosedavid and @chaotictarlos :)

[myeonkais]

myeonkais 2020 fic wrap up & commentary

title: i get to love you (kaisoo) word count: 345 date posted: 01/13/2020 summary: Jongin smiles, wide and stupid and very much whipped for this man.

commentary: my first kaisoo day fic! grabe, nawala sa isip ko na 2020 ko isinulat ‘to lmao. sobrang tagal na pala??? anyway, this was one of my rare english drabbles na isinulat ko under 30 minutes. (writing in english isn’t really my ~thing—mas expressive akong magsulat pag taglish lmao kaya bihira ‘to). i’m really fond of writing kaisoo in domestic situations like this, dala na rin ng pangungulila kay kyungsoo (lol). actually, i’m not even sure if this was an au or a canon fic. gusto ko tuloy ng tinapay haha!

a line/part i loved: 

“You baked bread? Why?”

“Because I wanted to,” Kyungsoo replies with a smile. He passes a slice of bread back to Jongin before breaking a small piece of his own. “Be careful, it’s still a bit hot.” 

title: yours to keep (kaisoo) word count: 347 date posted: 01/25/2020 summary: Jongin considers the question, considers what it would mean to spend the rest of his life bound to this man before him.

commentary: aahh, this kaisoo x brooklyn 99 au!! I LOVE THIS VERSE SO MUCH!!! isa itong self-indulgent, shameless even, fic na isinulat ko after kong i-rewatch ang S05E04 (HallovVeen) episode ng b99. ang vivid ng fic na ‘to sa ‘kin. ksoo as amy, jongin as jake?? jusko #weakness!! may isa pa akong ficlet na set sa kaisoo b99 na ‘to...baka next year ko na lang i-post :-)

a line/part i loved:

It's not the most romantic of proposals. It's said over coffee at 4am in a deserted diner after a long night of undercover mission gone wrong. Kyungsoo's got a bloody nose and Jongin's missing the beloved badge on his jacket. There's no ring, no getting down on one knee.

Just Kyungsoo asking, casual and awkward, if he wants to get married.

title: sakanasabi (chanbaek) word count: 599 date posted: 01/28/2020 summary: Kung hindi lang siya d̶u̶w̶a̶g̶ lasing, inamin na niya ang katotohanang matagal na niyang kinikimkim.

commentary: sa totoo lang, natatawa ako kasi hindi ko maalala na isinulat ko ang fic na ‘to! as in ngayong habang gumagawa ako ng wrap up eme ko lang natuklasan ang existence nito! this is probably one of those fics na isinulat ko for a writing exercise...hay i really can’t remember. may potential ‘to na maging multi-chaptered fic kaso ilag ako sa pagsusulat ng medyo angsty ngayon (fragile ka sis???) a line/part i loved:

Fighting the urge to vomit, Chanyeol inhales deeply. Baekhyun’s pillow smells of him and his fruity shampoo. The familiar scent calms him down and Chanyeol hates himself for that too. He hates Baekhyun for making him feel this way and he hates himself for falling so hard for somebody he’ll never be able to confess his love for. Suddenly everything is too overwhelming for him that he spills the contents of his stomach all over Baekhyun’s bed.

title: four out of five (kaisoo) word count: 862 date posted: 02/07/2020 summary: Kasi hello, you think na ang David ni Michelangelo ang epitome ng perfect male body? Nuh-uh. Syempre, the Lord disagreed kasi he could do so much better kaya on January 14, 1994, the year of our Lord, pinanganak ang tumalo kay David.

Si Jongin Kim.

commentary: taena, this fic!!! shameless crack na naman ito thanks sa pag-“i really love D.O” ng jungen! hanggang ngayon natatawa pa rin ako sa fic na ‘to kasi ang kalat niya in a way? napaka-vivid nito for me, lalo na sa second part ng fic. himala ngang hindi umabot ‘to sa 10k lmao. tapos ‘yung hint ng top!ksoo sa dulo...hmmm parang interesting i-explore….

a line/part i loved:

"For this I want you to concentrate on the placement of the shadows and how the muscles bunch and flex differently in this position," Kyungsoo says, standing even closer now. He sweeps his hand in front of Jongin as he speaks, using technical, anatomical terms to describe Jongin's legs and thighs, his cock, thick and soft against his belly. "Take a good long look at these thighs, guys. You may never see a more perfect representation of the human body than this."

"Kyungsoo," Baekhyun, one of his older students, chides him. "Ang kalat kalat!"

title: missed connections (surene) word count: 309 date posted: 03/11/2020 summary: Things change and little girls grow up.

commentary: probably quickest fic i’ve ever written this year. i remember writing this habang nakapila ako sa burger king para umorder, at natapos ko paglabas ko with my takeout. less than 10 minutes siguro? hindi ko rin alam kung ba’t ito ang isinulat ko—napakalayo kasi sa prompt na missed connections—pero i was craving for an unexpected angsty fic...at isang kasal na naman ang ginawa ko haha. surene will always have a special place in my shipper heart, bilang sila lang ang gusto kong kpop het ship lol (and i ship junmyeon and joohyun with other people, as in lol ba’t may pag-e-explain ka ghorl??). memorable sa ‘kin ‘to kasi ito ang isa sa fics na pinost ko sa aking public twitter at nabasa ng ibang tao na hindi aware sa aking stan twt persona lmao

a line/part i loved:

Joohyun's hand clamped down on his arm and shook slightly. "C'mon, this is what you've always been waiting for, right?" Junmyeon said.

She turned to him and smiled sadly. "I always thought it was going to be you."

Junmyeon looked away for a moment before looking at her again. "Yeah...well..."

"I knew it wasn't going to happen. Never had a vision of it but I hoped back then."

"You were only a girl then and—" Junmyeon touched her cheek. "I lost my chance."

title: stupid motherfucking shitposter (chanbaek) word count: 2116 date posted: 03/11/2020 summary: Binibiro lang nina Jongdae si Baekhyun na siya ang unang sisikat sa barkada, a harmless joke na nagsimula pa noong freshman year.

But they didn't expect na magkakatotoo ito dahil sa isang viral Facebook post of this (shit)poster, Chanyeol Park.

commentary: ito ang second attempt ko sa tweet fic eme, and as expected, sobrang fail niya haha! special sa ‘kin ang fic na ‘to dahil ito ang first exo fic na isinulat ko. july 2019 pa nakatambak ang chapter 1 nito sa google docs ko (haha) at nagkalakas loob lang akong i-post dahil sa panghihinayang. ewan, i’m not a funny person talaga pero pag binabasa ko ‘tong fic na ‘to, parang naniniwala ako na kaya ko pala magpatawa somehow? also the background stories for chanbaek here...hahaha shet talaga gusto ko na ulit ‘to ituloy! sa 2021, promise!

a line/part i loved:

Nanginginig ang mga kamay ni Baekhyun while scrolling down the comments. Sumakit ang ulo niya sa ilang judgemental comments about this modus ("mag-ingat kayo kahit cute yan may tendency maging manyak!!"), halos maduwal sa "shet ang adorable ng meet cute niyo pakasal kayo pls!!!"

at tumaas ang dalawang kilay sa comments ng "fangirls" of this Chanyeol Park:

"DADDY!!! BAKET!!!!" with brokenhearted emojis

"sana all makasandal sa balikat ni Chanyeol AKO NA LANG ANAKAN MO CHANYEOL PLS" 

"SHET CHANYEOL PARK DADDIEST TALAGA FROM BS STAT MANOK NAMEN YAN!!"

Then he saw the comments from people he knew personally. Mga bastos na mga ka-college at ex classmates na nagmention sa kanya:

Si @Baekhyun Byun ba 'to? OMG bat kayo magkasama, Yeol?

Yeol basta tandaan mo na kapag nakasandal sayo si Baekhyun parang nakasandal na rin sayo buong mundo ko.

title: everything under the stars (chanbaek) word count: 2866 date posted: 03/11/2020 summary: chanbaek high school au wherein astronomy club pres si chanyeol at may crush sa kanya ang drama club president na si baekhyun.

since required na sumali sa two clubs ang club presidents, naisipan ni baek na mag-apply sa club ni yeol.

kaso ayaw tanggapin ni chanyeol ang application form.

commentary: aaaahhhh unang chanbaek high school au ko ito!!! at ang nag-iisang tweet fic na natapos ko!!! i super love this fic ;.; sobrang fluffy lang niya at tuwang-tuwa ako sa characterization ni baekhyun dito. ang nakakatawa pa, on the spot ang pagsusulat ko nito sa twitter, as in nagre-research ako about sa astronomy eme habang inu-update ko ang thread in real time! inabot ata ako ng six hours sa pagsusulat nito pero sobrang worth it. this never fails to warm my heart talaga. ang wholesome lang talaga ng high school love stories...minsan haha!

a line/part i loved:

The taller took a deep breath, eyes darting everywhere except Baekhyun. "I have insomnia. And counting stars help me sleep better at night."

Baekhyun was about to open his mouth, his cheeks flushed, as he stared up at Chanyeol.

That was intimate. Unexpected. What did he do to deserve such information? Baka naman nagbibiro lang si Chanyeol.

"Ah, so ‘di ka nagbibilang ng sheep?"

Chanyeol rolled his eyes, but his mouth twitched up in a smile. "Mas lalo akong di makakatulog sa kahahanap ng tupa niyan."

title: kiss it better (kaisoo) word count: 204 date posted: 03/21/2020 summary: "Well, well, looks like someone's cranky today."

"Shut up," Jongin mutters as he nudges him with his hip. Kyungsoo scoots over to make room for him and he settles in next to him. "Your little pet bit me."

commentary: ito ang pinakamaikling fic na isinulat ko this year, at ang unang fic na isinulat ko noong nagsisimula pa lang ang ECQ. taena, ang tagal tagal na pala?? anyway, another domestic fluff from kaisoo na naisip ko thanks to that ksoo & meokmul photo na nakita ko sa tl. wala lang. gusto ko lang magsulat ng kaisoo landian kasi nakakamiss huhuhu :(

a line/part i loved:

"Your little pet bit me."

"Meokmul?"

"What other little pet do you have?" He grins and rests his head on Jongin's shoulder.

"You."

title: single bed (seho) word count: 1595 date posted: 03/23/2020 summary: 

“Beds are made for sleeping and sex only, you know."

Napalunok na lang si Junmyeon. Sehun and bed and sex all in one sentence was a bit too much for his overworked brain to handle. Again, that’s his hottest roommate casually talking about sex. His roommate na crush niya ever since lumipat siya sa condo na ‘to. Junmyeon shifted the Calculus lecture binder on his lap as subtly as he could.

Putangina.

commentary: not to be me pero isa ‘to sa favorite fics ko this year haha! this january lang ako nahilig sa pagbabasa ng seho fics at sa totoo lang, 500-word drabble lang dapat ito!! kaso biglang nag-ig live ang seho putek kaya naging triple ang word count. isa sa na-discover ko sa sarili ko because of this: i like reading/writing junmyeon pining over sehun?? ewan, iba ang pull sa ‘kin ng fics pag ganito ang setup nila haha. nag-enjoy akong isulat ‘to sa POV ni junmyeon, lalo na ‘yung internal struggle niya. isa sa dahilan kung bakit favorite ko ito ay ang back story ni kyungsoo bilang phone sex operator hahaha! bigla ko na lang naisip ‘yan habang nagta-type ako at tawang-tawa na naman ako sa sarili ko. i’m fucking hilarious sometimes lmao

a line/part i loved:

He couldn’t forget the first time he’d heard Kyungsoo in “action”. Isang gabi, nakasalubong niya si Kyungsoo na naglalalakad papunta sa kusina, suot nito ang mamahaling headset, dini-describe kung paano niya kakainin ang “delicious pussy” ng kliyente niya na nasa kabilang linya habang iniinit ang Chickenjoy takeout sa microwave. May bonus pang mga ungol na sobrang filthy, at mga yes baby masarap ba? Yes you like that? pang sinasabi ito, at nagawa pang ngitian si Junmyeon in between moans bago bumalik sa kwarto niya.

title: exercise in self-restraint (chanbaek) word count: 12,984 (part 1 of 5) date posted: 04/15/2020 summary: (sinta 'verse part 2)

Three months (92 days to be exact, and yes, Baekhyun's counting) na silang magjowa ni Chanyeol pero bakit gano'n, nasa "friends are like jowas you don't fuck" stage pa rin sila?

—or: tigang na ang Baekhyun Byun. as in.

commentary: TANGINA HANGGANG NGAYON TAWANG-TAWA PA RIN AKO SA SARILI KO NA GINAWA KO ANG FIC NA ‘TO...AT HINDI PA SIYA TAPOS!!! na-explain ko na ‘to sa notes sa ao3 pero grabe sa pagka-self indulgent talaga ng fic na ‘to. sobrang kalat??? i didn’t know i had it in me??? cheka!! pero seryoso, sobrang nag-enjoy ako sa pagsusulat nito (until now!!!) kasi challenge para sa ‘kin ang magsulat ng m/m explicit scenes. hindi ako nag-fade to black!!! hahaha but no seriously, napaka-importante ng sinta ‘verse sa buhay ko bilang exo fic writer at ayun nga, hindi ko sila mapakawalan kaya ikukulong ko sila sa isang makamundong part ng ‘verse na ‘to. naka-outline na sa ‘kin ang buong fic na ‘to, kailangan ko lang ng lakas ng loob para ituloy ang pagsusulat haha. sobrang kalat niya...at ako talaga si jongdae sa fic na ‘to lol. another thing: puro inside joke naming magkaka-barkada ang laman ng fic na ‘to kaya yari ako kung mabasa man nng isa sa kanila ‘to hahahaha

a line/part i loved:

“Bakit ba ito ang topic natin?" Umupo na si Baekhyun sa tabi ni Jongdae, tuluyan na niyang nakalimutan ang sakit ng legs niya sa sobrang panic at kahihiyan. "We're here to talk about the Bali trip, right? Wala sa agenda natin ang sex life ko so tumahimik ka dyan!" 

"Seryoso ba? Kahit chupa wala?" 

"Jongdae Kim oh my god iiwanan na kita talaga!" 

"Sorry na! This is a lot to take in pota ka!" Jongdae stared at him in disbelief, and shook his head. "As in no action at all? Imposibleng walang chupaa—" 

"Jongdae!" Puta, sana magkaroon ng butas sa sahig na kinauupuan ni Jongdae at lamunin na siya nito ASAP. Hindi na kinakaya ni Baekhyun ang interrogation na 'to. 

"Sorry na! Fine! Wala man lang… snorkelling na naganap sa loob ng three months?"

title: tulak ng bibig, kabig ng dibdib (chanbaek) word count: 995 date posted: 04/28/2020 summary: 

“Alam mo feeling ko may crush sa ‘yo si Chanyeol,” bulong sa kanya ni Junmyeon sabay siko sa tagiliran niya.

“Huh? Pinagsasabi mo dyan?” inis na sagot ni Baekhyun habang hinahalughog ang backpack niya.

“Ang manhid mo naman, Baek. Obvious kaya.”

Oops, teka lang. Freshman si Chanyeol. Graduating na si Baekhyun.

Hindi magwo-work ang kung anumang iniisip ni Junmyeon.

commentary: may thing talaga ako sa fics na mas matanda si baekhyun kesa kay chanyeol—as in taon ang gap nila ha, hindi kagaya sa tunay na buhay na ilang buwan lang. anyway, i really like the outcome of this fic. simpleng kilig, sakto lang ang narration, at tama lang ang length. i guess sinulat ko ‘to noong na-realize kong dapat i-apply ko na ang “write less” sa buhay ko? i tend to over narrate my stories sometimes kasi gusto kong ma-overcome ang weakness ko sa narration bilang writer. pero kaya ayun, sinasanay ko ang sarili ko na magsulat ng fics less than 1k words eme

a line/part i loved:

Yes, nagkakausap naman sila paminsan-minsan kapag nagkakasalubong sa campus, and yes, hindi na nagbu-blush si Chanyeol sa meetings na ‘to. He’s become more confident around Baekhyun, which made him a bit sad kasi nage-enjoy siya sa pink cheeks ni Chanyeol at pagkabulol nito sa conversations nila. Oo na, impressed na si Baekhyun sa talino at wisdom ng lalaki at—

Oops, teka lang. Uulitin lang niya, freshman si Chanyeol. Graduating na si Baekhyun.

Hindi magwo-work ang kung anumang iniisip ni Junmyeon.

title: fall on me (chanbaek) word count: 6123 date posted: 05/06/2020 summary: “Amin-amin din kasi. Malay mo may chance.” Binato pa siya ni Yixing ng basang tissue to justify his point.

“Baka nga may malaking chance,” gatong ng kupal na si Sehun Oh.

It’s not like the thought never crossed his mind. Sa apat na taon nilang magkasama sa apartment na ‘to, ilang beses na ring naging marupok si Chanyeol sa idea na aaminin siya kay Baekhyun. Pero worth it nga ba aminin ito? O dapat makuntento na lang siya sa kung anong meron sila?

commentary: my first baekhyun day fic! a college au na set in uplb na naman haha (kailan ba ako mauumay??). this was an easy story to write; natapos ko ata 'to in one sitting? tsaka gusto ko ito kasi first time kong magsulat ng fic in chanyeol's pov. medyo challenging for me na hanapin ang "boses" ni chanyeol pero napagtagumpayan ko naman. napaka-vivid din sa 'kin ng fic na 'to, especially the confession part. ALL THE FLUFF TALAGA MGA MHIE PARA LABANAN ANG INIS SA GOBYERNO HAHAHA

a line/part i loved:

“Wait lang, there’s something on your face.”

Chanyeol instinctively reached for his cheek, akmang pupunasan ang naiwang wasabi or teriyaki sauce or whatever. “Huh? Saan?”

The next thing Chanyeol knew, Baekhyun fisted his hand on his shirt and tugged him down for a kiss. It was firm and waaay too fast, just a smack of lips, and then he patted Chanyeol’s chest before stepping back a little.

His mind went blank.

“Uh...it was me,” Baekhyun mumbled shyly, loud enough para marinig ni Chanyeol

.Chanyeol blinked a few times, trying to process what the just happened. “W-what?”

title: di na babalik (chanbaek) word count: 3355 (incomplete) date posted: 06/01/2020 summary: Ten years ago tinawanan lang ni Chanyeol ang kantiyaw sa kanya ni Sehun noon: wag jowain ang ka-barkada kasi pag nagbreak, awkward na umattend sa reunions. Ngayong nasa 10th year high school reunion na sila, 'di na makatawa si Chanyeol. Salamat talaga sa isang tanong ng ex niyang si Baekhyun Byun.

commentary: ito 'yung tweet fic na bunga ng aking sunday morning writing exercises last april. medyo hango sa tunay na buhay (haha lagi naman) at angsty siguro 'to? this is one of the rare fics na walang outline and such. as in on the spot ako nagsusulat pagkagising ko ng sunday ng umaga. binasa ko ito ulit ngayon-ngayon lang at...aray, medyo masakit nga. i really want to continue this 'verse kahit medyo masakit siya.

a line/part i loved:

Baekhyun has this fond smile on his lips, and Chanyeol wonders kung anong version ng nangyari ang binibisita nito ngayon sa utak niya. A happy memory, he supposes. Bihira niyang makita ang ngiting 'yon kay Baekhyun.

title: smile for the camera (chanbaek) word count: 670 date posted: 06/11/2020 summary: Chanyeol knew the famous idol Baekhyun Byun had been picturing something more glamorous than this. If he did, then they hired the wrong photographer for the job.

commentary: another on the spot twitter drabble! kasalanan 'to ng yours mv at tirtir photoshoot ni baek haha! meet cute emeru. tuwang-tuwa rin ako rito dahil ang bilis ko siyang naisulat-less than an hour ata?  

a line/part i loved:

Gustong ipakita ni Chanyeol Park ang ibang side ni Baekhyun Byun sa mundo. He wanted to show the real man behind the mysterious image: the man who loves to stay at home and play online games during his time off, who loves children and advocates for their education, who was still a normal person behind the bright lights and sold out dome concerts.

title: wala nang hihilingin (chanbaek) word count: 6122 (sinta 'verse fic) date posted: 06/14/2020 summary: It’s been nine months since Chanyeol told him na may plano na siyang magpropose soon. Nine months since tinapangan ni Baekhyun ang sarili at sumagot siyang leaning towards yes siya if ever totohanin nga ni Chanyeol ‘yon. Nine months na siyang naghihintay pero wala pa ring proposal. Ni anino ng singsing wala siyang nakita.

commentary: my first 614 day fic! aahh i'm so in love with this fic :( aside from wedding vows, i like writing wedding proposals talaga. iba nga lang sa fic na 'to dahil napaka-chaotic ng proposal! this fic started with an image, actually. 'yung part na kumakanta si baek ng halo ni tita beyonce! sinusulat ko pa lang 'yung sinta, paano na lang ako kung wala ka? nasa isip ko na 'yon. at hindi niya ako nilubayan hanggang hindi ko nagagawa ang fic na 'to. nadagdagan pa ang inspiration ko after rewatching The Office! that jim & pam moment talaga...sobrang TV history huhuh. anyway!!! outlining this fic was really fun kasi aliw na aliw akong pahirapan si baek dito lmao. sobrang special talaga sa 'kin ng sinta 'verse at ang dami ko pang pwedeng ikuwento tungkol sa unibersong ito. next year, meron pang kasunod. promise 'yan haha!

a line/part i loved:

honestly, i really love the proposal part kasi na-achieve ko ang chaos na gusto ko haha! pero kung very specific part, ito:

“So...nasan na ba ako? Ayun.” Huminga muna siya nang malalim bago nagpatuloy. “You’re my best friend in the whole wide world and I could never be with anyone else. I’ve known this since we were 19. I wanted to be the one to ask you but--“

“Mahal kita,” bulalas ni Baekhyun. He couldn’t help it. Aatakihin na siya sa puso. He could feel it. “Fuck, baby I’m sorry!” pahabol niya. “Sorry go na tatahimik na a--”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol interrupted, strained, with a pointed glance at the box. Agad na tinikom ni Baekhyun ang bibig, but god, ang puso niya bibigay na anytime.

“Ang point ko lang, I mean it when I say could never be with anyone else, Baek. ikaw lang ang tanging nakikita kong kasama ko sa dulo.”

When their eyes met, Chanyeol’s were soft. Trusting. Full of love. Chanyeol’s eyes were shining, full of unshed tears, at sure si Baekhyun na parehas na silang walang makita dahil sa mga luhang ‘to.

title: atin ang gabi (chanbaek) word count: 18.442 date posted: 08/09/2020; entry for #NaritoKami2020 Fic Fest summary: Before Sunrise AU - dala ng lungkot, alak, at pagka-bigo sa pag-ibig, humingi ng isang pabor si baekhyun sa lalaking hiniraman niya ng powerbank sa 7-11.ang pabor? samahan at makipagkuwentuhan sa kanya buong magdamag. loko-loko lang ang papatol sa ganyang pabor.sakto, loko-loko't kalahati si chanyeol park.

commentary: where do i even begin?? sa totoo lang ang dami kong gustong sabihin sa fic na 'to kulang pa 'tong commentary na 'to hahaha. i might even write a whole blogpost about this..but who knows?

ito ang pinakapaborito kong fic this year. as in. the moment i saw this prompt, ang sabi ko sa sarili ko, "mare dapat makuha mo 'yan OR ELSE!!!" i have a ~thing for film AUs, kaya nang makita kong may nagsumbit nito-NA RICHARD LINKLATER FILM PA OMG-hindi na tumigil ang utak ko sa pag-iisip. i love everything about this fic so much. mula sa back stories ng chanbaek, hanggang sa batuhan nila ng linya... i'd like to think i did a great job in writing this. sinigurado kong maganda at natural lang ang dialogues nila rito dahil isa 'yon sa essence ng Before Trilogy, eh. gusto ko rin sanang gawing buong araw silang magkasama kaso i thought mas may emotional impact kung bitin ang oras nila.

may ilang parts pa akong dinelete rito kasi feeling ko ang haba na niya. (don't worry i'll share it soon!) kahit light angst lang 'to, may certain weight kang mararamdaman after reading it? ewan, ganyan ang pakiramdam ko pag binabasa ko 'to. tsaka grabe pinag-isipan kong mabuti kung may smut ba 'to o kahit kiss lang. i almost added a kiss here kaso upon re-reading the fic...it kinda didn't feel right? i thought them sharing a kiss would shatter the illusion, na baka hindi na sila maka-move on sa isa't isa at hindi na nila ma-achieve ang dapat nilang i-achieve. ako lang siguro 'to hahaha pero one thing's for sure: THIS IS A HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!! sila hanggang dulo haha! i just wish more people could read this fic huhu.

a line/part i loved:

Chanyeol paused for a long moment bago nagpatuloy. “Sobrang nakakatawa ng pagiging idealistic ko noong teenager ako. Feeling ko kasalanan ‘to ng media na kino-consume natin, eh. Books, movies, songs would always make love out to be this all consuming, burning, passionate thing. Sige, that person makes you feel like you’re on fire all the time, that he or she consumes you, but at the end of the day...are you even friends? Let’s be real here, pag tapos na sa honeymoon stage, pag naupos na ‘yung apoy ng pag-ibig sa simula ng relasyon, ano na? You gotta like the person you end up with in the end. Love won’t save everything.”

title: ‘pag nandiyan (kaisoo) word count: 15,962 date posted: 08/19/2020; entry for Tahanadhana Ficfest 2020 summary:  four times na may nagtanong sa cafe owner na si junmyeon kung ano ba talagang relationship status ng mga barista niyang sina jongin at kyungsoo, plus that one time na napuno na si junmyeon sa landian/katangahan ng dalawa.

commentary: magkasabay kong isinulat ang atin ang gabi at 'pag nandiyan kaya lurks na lurks ako kung alin ba dapat ang uunahin. 15k worth of pure fluff, landian, at katangahan isumbong niyo nga 'yan sa HR!!! not gonna lie, sobrang nag-enjoy ako sa pagbuo ng kaisoo barista 'verse na 'to. may naka-outline na ngang side story ang chanbaek dito eh...hahaha! si sehun ang favorite character ko sa fic na 'to kasi siya talaga ang representation ng frustration ng readers haha! gigil na gigil si kuya eh, ang cute!

'yun lang, a part of me wished na mas inayos ko ang execution ng ilang scenes sa fic na 'to? lalo na sa parts nina junmyeon at joohyun. i would rewrite it if i could. overall, this is a cute, fluffy fic written in a slightly weird 4+1 fic haha!

a line/part i loved:

"Birthday ni Chanyeol today," paliwanag niya kahit hindi naman hinihingi ni Jongin. "Ayoko namang sungitan 'yung tao on his special day. I'm not that mean."

Jongin remained quiet beside him, so he added, "Besides, I don't date people younger than me. Chanyeol just turned...20 today, ano. Ekis tayo dyan."

From the corner of his eye, he saw Jongin's mouth twitched to a smile. "So may chance," sabi nito, halos pabulong.

"Huh?" He glanced at Jongin sidelong, eye catching on the strong lines of his neck, the prominent bulge of his Adam's apple. The streets weren't that well-lit, and frankly, his eyesight was pretty shitty, but for some reason, kitang-kita niya ngayon si Jongin. "Anong sabi mo?" Jongin then returned his gaze.

"Sabi ko, may chance," he said, clearer this time. With intent. Ayan na naman siya.

title: laging naroon ka (sechen) word count:  2664 date posted: 09/22/2020 summary: sa kalagitnaan ng kasal ng mga kabarkada niya, biglang nagkrisis si jongdae dahil parehas silang umattend ng kanyang what could have been na si sehun.

commentary: sa totoo lang, wala sa plano ko na magsulat ng isang sechen fic. i've only read a handful of sechen fics (mostly in english pa) at nag-aalangan talaga ako magsulat ng fic for a rarepair. kaso my jaya discography binge happened; ilang beses kong pinaulit-ulit ang laging naroon ka at ang daming nagpapakasal sa social media bago ko isulat 'to kaya rito ko na nilabas ang mga damdamin ko haha! i really like how this turned out. maikli lang pero hnngghh gusto ko pa ng isang sechen fic tuloy! masaya rin ako na may naka-appreciate ng munting fic na 'to. i'm planning to write another jaya-inspired fic soon so...hehe kita-kits na lang ;)

a line/part i loved: 

He was a complete fool to think the hurt he'd felt years ago made him immune to this handsome man with a nice smile and soulful eyes. Wala pa ring pinagbago. Nandoon pa rin ang kabog sa dibdib, ang kilig—nakakainis! Sehun only got more gorgeous as he aged. His sense of style was still impeccable. Bagay sa kanya ang mas mahabang buhok at tumambok pa ang mga pisngi nito. Pigil na pigil si Jongdae na magnakaw ng kurot.

title: para sa ‘yo (ang mga salita) (chanbaek) word count:  26,144 date posted: 12/09/2020 summary: ito na ata ang pinakamalaking dagok sa writing career ng best-selling at award-winning crime fiction writer na si Baekhyun Byun. mayroon lamang siyang pitong buwan para tapusin ang huling nobela ng kanyang series. bawal na extension, nasagad na niya ang pasensya ng kanyang publishers. tapos bat' gano'n, bakit napakalandi ng bago niyang editor na si Chanyeol Park?!

commentary: my biggest and most personal (lol) fic yet. 35k ang target word count ko for this one kaso i had to delete a huge chunk last september kasi...nag-iba ang takbo ng utak ko. bigla na lang akong naumay magsulat ng romance at fluff? tsaka wala pa akong nababasang writer-editor au fic na nakaka-relate ako kaya isinulat ko na. sa totoo lang, ginawa kong therapy ang fic na 'to habang tinatapos ko ang isang manuscript ko (na surprise!!! hindi ko pa rin tapos until now!!!). it's weird for me na magsulat ng isang bagay na hindi umiikot sa romance, pero later on, na-enjoy ko rin. okay din pala magsulat ng character-centric fics na side lang ang romance.

also, in a very me fashion, nag-insert na naman ako ng kuwento sa loob ng isang kuwento. mini-quarantine project ko ang kuwento nina eli at calix! an outline exists--at surprise, hindi connected sa mga kasong nabanggit sa fic haha! crime/thriller pa rin ang totoong kuwento pero malayo sa book titles commentary: na nabanggit sa fic. in short, umandar na naman ang pagka-plotter ko sa fic na 'to. outline kung outline, plano kung plano. ang difference lang from my previous BY Paraluman Fest entry, hindi ko na isinulat ang buong fic sa notebook bago i-type. katamad kasi hahaha.share ko lang din, i wasn't expecting na may magbabasa at makaka-appreciate ng fic na 'to. ang seryoso kasi niya for my taste. hindi rin nakakakilig or whatsoever. sobrang layo sa previous BYFP entry ko na puro landian lang ang ganap. kaya sobrang tuwa ko sa mga nag-iwan ng comments sa ao3, nag-qrt ng BY tweet, at sa lahat ng nagtweet na nagustuhan nila ang kwentong ito. grabe, iyak ako nang iyak. lalo na do'n sa mga nagcomment na nakaka-relate sila sa struggles ni baekhyun as a writer. feeling ko hindi ako nag-iisa! so maraming maraming salamat sa nagbasa ng fic na 'to! grabe dami ko pang ebas for this fic pero sa isang blogpost ko na lang siguro ilalagay. hay, ang puso ko talaga para rito <3

a line/part i loved: sa totoo lang, madami! 'yung buong kaganapan sa MIBF ang pinaka kasi an author's dream come true 'yon cheka hahaha! pero kung lines.... ito talaga:

“Sila lang ang minahal ko nang ganito. Mahal na mahal ko sila.”

“Alam ko, Baekhyun.”

“Natatakot ako…” Baekhyun hated the way his voice cracked. “Natatakot ako na baka...baka hindi na ako magmahal nang ganito ulit. Na baka...naiibigay ko na kina Eli at Calix ang lahat ng pagmamahal na kaya kong ibigay. Takot ako na...shit, Chanyeol.” Napaupo siya sa sofa at doon niya nakita ang concerned na tingin sa kanya ng editor. “What if pangit na lahat ng mga isulat ko after nito? What if makapagsulat nga ako ng bago pero sina Eli at Calix pa rin ang hahanap-hanapin ko? Ng ibang tao? What if...hanggang dito na lang ang pangarap ko? Ito lang naman ang ginusto ko sa buhay, eh. Ang magsulat at mabasa ng tao ang mga salita ko. Ito siguro ang problema pag nakuha mo nang maaga ang pinapangarap mo. Pag madaling nakuha, madali ring mawawala.” Tuluyan nang bumuhos ang luha ni Baekhyun. “Ayoko pa magmove on sa kanila, Chanyeol. Hindi ko kaya.”

title: #QuarantineTimez with Nini’s Home (kaisoo) word count:  12,770 date posted: 04/27/2020 summary: Sa kalagitnaan ng Enhanced Community Quarantine, hindi inaasahan ni Kyungsoo na magkakaroon siya ng "quarantine crush" sa isang viral Youtuber na kailanman ay hindi nagpakita ng mukha.

commentary:  ito ang tanging non-fic fest entry fic ko na himalang maraming nagbasa. hanggang ngayon shookt pa rin ako na umabot sa 700+ hits ito sa ao3 haha kklk?? anyway, skl ang inspo ng fic na 'to. gaya ni ksoo sa fic, noong start ng quarantine ko lang nadiscover ang Nino's Home Youtube channel. at gaya rin niya, na-weirduhan ako sa antics ni Nino...at sige na nga, aliw na aliw ako sa subtitles niyang nangungupal lmao. ewan ko na, nagulat na lang ako sa sarili ko na may outline na ako for a kaisoo fic?? it took me two days of outlining and actual writing bago ko natapos 'to. at tawang-tawa ako kasi sobrang crack fic dapat nito! the nininail was a last addition kasi may nag-RT sa TL ko ng video compilation ni jongin talking about his cute nail..eh ang cute nga kaya dinagdag ko na. wala akong intensyon na gawing cliffhanger ang ending...it just sort of happened? feeling ko nga standalone fic 'to kaso habang binabasa ko siya, nabitin na rin ako lmao. hanggang not!fic na lang ang kinaya ko for the continuation kasi dami ko nang sinusulat ngayon lol. but with or without the not!fic, okay siyang kwento for me. nakakatawa, nakakilig hay :)

a line/part i loved:

gustung-gusto ko 'yung IG dm convo nina baek at ksoo rito kasi totoo nga naman, COVID-19 CAN'T STOP THE HAROT!!! also 'yung nagreply si Nini kay pengwing sa Youtube comments!!! ang kilig ko po!!!

Nasanay na si Kyungsoo na makaramdam ng kaunting lungkot after ng conference calls nila. As much as he loved having his alone time, nakaka-miss din pala ang makasalamuha ng ibang tao. Sa short supermarket trips at lobby guards na nga lang siya nakakaranas ng actual human interaction this quarantine period. He didn’t realize how much he used to count on minor interactions, like ‘yung pangungulit sa kanya ni Jongdae sa cubicle niya araw-araw, or ‘yung quick lunch meetings niya with Baekhyun kapag napapadpad ng Makati ang best friend. Kahit nga face to face meetings with their boss na usually kinakatakutan niya, hinahanap-hanap na niya ngayon.

OVERALL:

# of fics written: 21 # of fandoms: 2 (exo & red velvet) published word count: 133,095

favorite fic: atin ang gabi (chanbaek) longest fic: para sa ‘yo (ang mga salita) (chanbaek) shortest fic: kiss it better (kaisoo) most kudos: #QuaratineTimez with Nini’s Home (kaisoo)