#i realize she's super smart but m a n i relate to that chaotic dumbass energy so hard

[squiddybeifong]

Meeting the Sirens

Harley could honestly admit to never paying attention to how amazing plants were at camouflage. It made sense to a certain extent with the natural world, but when one mixed Raven’s darkness with Pam’s powers, it gave the impression that Hell could be nothing more than a jungle on fire.

Sapphire eyes watched as cacti scuttled closer and vines slithered along the walls, hidden by the usual shadows. Their leaves curled in on themselves before they aimed towards Raven and the shadows darted away, forcing the plants to scramble into better hiding as Pam tried to keep the upper hand.

Harley ran a tongue over her teeth and forced out a laugh, sliding in between her kinda-girlfriend and her kinda-niece and tossing an arm around them both. “Come on, you two!” She pulled them close until their cheeks touched, spinning to beam at Talia and Kitty, “We can all get along, can’t we?”

Three glares and one look of pure apathy greeted her suggestion. “It’s bad enough you brought her--” Selina started, not taking her glare off of the assassin.

Ivy continued her sentence, all but sneering at the teen, “But why the fuck would we ever trust a hero?” The botanist’s glare deepened, the vines shifting in preparation again.

Emerald eyes widened half an inch as Raven forced to vines to stay in place, the darkness freezing the walls around them. The two superpowered women stared at each other for a long moment, uncaring to how Harley sheepishly squeezed their shoulders.  

After an impossibly long minute, the clown started to squirm and the Titan shrugged, “Your grudges are fair enough.”

She lifted her hand and made sure that Poison Ivy saw the magic fall away from her palm. Raven silently lowered herself until she stood on the floor and crossed her arms over her chest, rolling her jaw once before offering an olive branch, “But from what Harley’s told me we both despise Zatanna.”

The redhead raised a brow, a humorless laugh escaping, “That’s it?”

“I’m also an empath.” Pam straightened her back at that information. Raven glanced at Catwoman out of the corner of her eye, addressing the green-skinned woman in front of her, “And I’d imagine that while I’m not as fond of her as you seem to be, we all don’t mind Harley dragging us away with her shenanigans.”

A pale hand raised from underneath her cloak, “That’s at least two things we have in common.”

Talia finally spoke up, “Three if you count having powers.”

Selina snorted at her interjection and Harley turned to them, her eyes brightening up as she tried to get her two friend groups to get along. Pam and Raven didn’t seem that close to killing each other, so she focused on getting Kitty and Talia from trying to glare each other out of existence, “And I bet you two have stuff in common too!”

Almost immediately after the words left her Harley sucked her teeth, wincing as she remembered the last time they had met. Raven shifted at the emotions in the room, letting out a silent hum as her shadows drifted closer to her.

Amethyst eyes flicked to Ivy as she let out a huff, “Not this again.”

The teen didn’t ask, but her question was loud in the air. Talia kept Selina in her line of sight as she shifted to explain, “We’ve had the same lover.”

Raven arched a brow, her mild amusement obvious even despite her hood shadowing half her face. She tilted her chin towards Ivy, “Batman seems to just attract criminals, doesn’t he?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Yes,” Talia hummed, displeasure rolling off her in waves. “He surrounds himself with more and more incompetence after every switch.”

Harley emphatically nodded her head at the statement behind her words. She patted the assassin’s arm, “Oh, so Batman ditched you? That’s rough, buddy.”

Selina narrowed her eyes despite the haughty smirk on her face, her hands curling into fists as she shot out to the goth, “He ditched her for me.”

“Wait, so you were the rebound? That’s rough too, Kitty.” Harley seemed to catch herself, her head snapping back to Talia. “I, uh, I mean…”

The blonde glanced at Raven, looking for some emphatic help. When nothing came she rushed out, “That sucks, my gals who can hopefully be pals?”

Raven crossed her arms over her chest, “This is an awful conversation.” Violet eyes turned to the botanist and she inched closer, “I’m sensing at least four deaths that have taken place here in the past two months. Care to show me around?”

Her request was met with a curious stare. After a contemplative moment the vines seemed to relax around them, a tangle of flowered stems curling to make a sort of hallway near their feet. A lazy grin curled black-lipsticked lips.

“Sure,” Ivy waved at the mystic to follow and away they went. Green shoulders shrugged, “If Robin--no, he’s a different bird now, right?”

“Nightwing.”

“Yeah. If he asks, they were all eco-terrorists that went missing.”

Raven snorted, her face curious as Pam added, a lilt to her voice, “There’s also a bunch of mushroom patches over their graves. They’re just full of poison; you’ll love them.”

The demoness perked up at that, “Any death caps?” Pine eyes flicked to her and Raven amended, “You’re Poison Ivy. I’d expect you to have at least a few of this planet’s best.”

“I’ve got better than that. Look up there,” Raven followed her pointed finger, her eyes lighting up as she spotted a white patch clumped along the rusty rivets. Pam watched as she floated up a few inches until they were practically the same height. A rare smile curled the stoic’s face, “I didn’t know Gotham was humid enough to support destroying angels…”

“You don’t know a lot about Gotham just yet.” The redhead nudged her elbow, starting to walk again. She bit her lip and decided to give this hero one allowance; if Harley loved her and she seemed morally gray enough to mingle with Batman’s enemies, then Raven was not yet trustworthy but slightly okay in her book. “And you can call me Pam, by the way.”

Raven tilted her head, giving the siren a thin but genuine smile, “Pam, then. Shall we go?” She motioned to where the vines were laid out for them to follow, “Those spirits aren’t going to be put to rest otherwise.”

Her words got an ‘Aha!’ and a snap as recognition filled the redhead’s aura, “Is that why all of our stuff has been moving around when we aren’t here? I told Harley no one alive was stupid enough to keep breaking into our place…”

Harley watched them go out the doors with a pout, turning back to see Talia had a hand on her sword’s hilt and Cat was tense, poised for a fight with her claws unretracted, if curled into fists.  

Quickly skipping in between them, the blonde tried to stall.

Her hands clasped in front of her chest as she wiggled her shoulders, thinking of something, anything, to prevent the fighting before it really began. Not that she couldn’t take care of any brawls, of course, but her friends were supposed to be getting along, dammit!

When nothing came to mind, she thought of how she’d distract the Joker whenever he got in his funks. And while neither of the two villainesses in front of her seemed opposed to potentially joining her in bed (though that was more up Pam’s alley, honestly), the answer came to her: both Kitty and Tally Marks were awful when it came to withstanding annoyances.

Her eyes bright, the blonde spoke a single word.

“Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo--,” Harley held it for a few seconds, paused to take a breath, and continued on as long as she could, “--oooooooooooooooooo…”

A clawed finger jerked out to press against her lips, “Shut up.”

Talia tensed at the move and Harley twisted away to speak up again, “Right, right. Cool, cool, cool, this is so cool that we’re all meeting again like this.” Harley rubbed at the back of her neck as her eyes darted around the room, considering asking the cactus where Ivy and Birdie went off to.

But she was the bridge and she had to stall the inevitable fight (again). The clown clicked her tongue and spoke freely and impulsively, “So, you two both fucked Batsy then?”

Neither women moved but two green glares landed on her. Deciding that she had to out-tension them both, Harley flipped one of her pigtails over her shoulder, “Hey, at least y’all got something in common, amirite?”

She rocked on her heels, “I mean, jeez. Wanting to cuddle with raspy-voiced bats. I know that feeling.”

That got Talia’s attention. Her eyes didn’t stray from Catwoman, but her temple tilted towards her friend, “Are you in love with my Beloved as well?”

“Ugh. Gods, no,” Harley’s face scrunched up at the mere thought. Shaking her head, she puffed her chest and buffed her checkerboard nails on her shirt, “I’m more-a Fidget kinda gal, myself.”

When neither reacted the blonde looked between them, her eyes comically widening, almost in slow motion. Blinking rapidly, Harley let her astonishment fill her voice, “Please say you guys remember Fidget? He’s one of Disney’s best characters in one of their best movies. Of all time.”

Selina couldn’t hold back her snort and Harley waved her thinly-veiled mockery aside, answering the look of confusion on Talia’s face, “He was the bat in ‘the Great Mouse Detective.’ Great film, by the way.”

Blue eyes smugly bored into Cat’s face, “Waaaaay better than ‘the Aristocats,’ despite the lies Kitty may believe.”

Smiling, she strolled back to face her favorite evil heiress, “Now I wouldn’t so much as ever think of fucking him --y’know Kitty’s the furry of the group-- but I can see getting to know the baby. Maybe even plan a heist or three after Rati--”

Selina drawled out, “Don’t spoil her.”

Talia watched the way Harley’s face lit up, “So you have seen it!”

“Yes. You make us watch it all the time.”

“Well I didn’t realize you were so busy thinking of a different bat the whole time. I just figured you purring about milk was a feline thing. Sorry for assuming, Kit-Kat.”

Annoyed, an irritated sigh forced its way out of Talia. She rolled her jaw, her fingers drumming against the metal of her sword’s guard, “You two tire me in the worst of ways.”

A high-pitched laugh escaped Harley as she dove into a hug, her palms hastily wrapping around Talia’s waist to prevent the assassin’s sword from being unsheathed. Giggling against the taller woman’s shoulder Harley sighed into the air, “Ray Ray was right this is just awful. We can find a different connection besides Batman, right?”

Talia and Selina didn’t stop their glare-off but the blonde paid them no mind, her words coming a beat faster than usual, “Like how we all break the law! Or how you both really appreciate having me in your lives? Oh! What about how both your names end with ‘A,’ that’s gotta be worth something!”

Her nose scrunched as she kept thinking, the idea coming to her effortlessly after a few seconds of silence, “Oh! I got it!” She held out her hands, making a square out of her fingers and closing one eye as if painting a picture in the air. Harley’s grin was loud in her declaration, “Strawberry milkshakes.”

Selina let out a huff through her nose, “Neutral ground won’t keep us from wanting to kill each other, Harls.”

“You never know. That’s what happened with Tal and Rae and me. Oh!” Blonde brows jumped an inch above sapphire eyes as a place came to mind, “How about we go to that burger diner that the Bats sometimes goes to.”

Talia tilted her head to the side, knowing the girl’s connection to the city’s protectors. “I doubt Raven will agree to that.”

“She’ll agree. But it’ll be reluctant.” Harley pitched forward and aimed a finger gun to both, her smile widening to a grin, “Just like your truce.”

Two aggravated sighs came from her words and Catwoman’s lips tightened in annoyance, “Not likely.”

Talia glowered when the blonde clasped her hands above her collar, Harley’s growing pout accompanying her dilating eyes, “No. We’re not as susceptible as the other two to your looks.”

A lazy laugh slipped out of the blonde, “Something else y’all have in common?”

The assassin’s glower deepened at her words. And while she’d never admit to the troublesome way Harley’s eyes grew and her lower lip quivered, Talia had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep her resolve. Without putting too much attention on her rival, she knew Catwoman was doing the same.

Olive eyes rolled in annoyance and Talia sheathed her sword, grumbling out, “I won’t attack her tonight.”

Selina shrugged one shoulder and retracted her claws. She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced between the two, “These meetings only last the night, correct?”

“Yep!” Harley popped the ‘P,’ practically bouncing on her feet at the way the tension in the room was lessening. The clown looked like a kid in a candy store and both Bat-lovers rolled their eyes.

“Then I guess we can get along for a few hours.” The Cat glanced at Talia out of the corner of her eye, a tiny smirk quirking her lips, “For Harley’s sake.”

“Agreed.”