#i really love their ending i hope you guys love it too 🫶🏻 very excited to hear what kind of expectations you had and how this compares :3

[fruitybashir]

A sem ti povedal - Chapter 3

Excerpt:

Jan will fall asleep with Nace in his arms and he will wake up in the morning next to him, the other’s hair tousled and his face creased from the pillow because Nace insists on cuddling when they fall asleep but then always turns to lie on his stomach during the night. And he will look gorgeous still. He never fails to take Jan’s breath away in the morning.

Read chapter 3 here!

[ketaundkrawall]

hi girlie! idk if yr taking requests so feel free to discard it but i was listening to agora hills by doja cat and the idea of reader being famous artist and joost being the fan just didn’t leave me alone😭🌀🩵

thank you for the request 🫶🏻 i hope you guys enjoy it <3

Stargirl Interlude ☽｡⋆ Joost Klein

Summary: you’re a famous singer meeting one of your fans

Warnings: none, just fluff and two fangirls meeting each other (maybe smut in pt. 2 bc this ends in a cliffhanger kinda), not proofread, afab!reader, no use of Y/N

WC: 1.1k

A/N: guys pls lmk if i should do a part two (i will) 💫

What you loved most about your job was seeing the happy faces of your fans whenever you came on stage. Well, it wasn’t really a job to you, it was your destiny to stand on stage and make people happy.

You loved when the crowd chanted your name, absolutely making every stage performance of yours better when they sang the lyrics. It made you proud. And it was everything you dreamed of when you were a child. Seeing people happy and being able to help them with your music somehow.

Nonetheless, every time you went on stage you were nervous. It was a feeling that accompanied you ever since you started your career.

Today you performed in a club in Amsterdam. You’ve never actually travelled to the Netherlands before so you were really excited. Not only to perform but also to explore the city, since it was your last tour stop you were doing at the moment.

Right now you were getting all set up to go on stage. You could already hear the people outside waiting for you to come out and start the show. “You’re going to kill it babes.” Your best friend, Tommy, said as he came to a stand beside you with a drink for you which you accepted with a thanks and sipped on it. “I really hope so.” Smiling you gave him the empty cup.

Tommy always travelled with you. He has been there for you since the very beginning of your career and never left your side, always calming your nerves before the shows started and you were so fucking thankful for him. “Jeez stop being so nervous! You’re a bomb you know that and now go out there and fucking show them what you got!” He cheered you on and you laughed. Giving him one last hug and taking a deep breath you ran out

“AMSTERDAM ARE YOU READY?! LETS GET THIS PARTY GOING!” You yelled and instantly felt happiness and relief flowed your body as the crowd screamed and just went completely crazy.

And so you started your show, loving the way all the people singing with you. It really filled your heart with joy. After an hour or so you were out of breath and just needed some water. Your hair was sticking to your sweaty forehead but honestly? You couldn’t be happier. Looking throughout the crowd you smiled. “Gosh we’re having some really good looking guys here tonight done we?” You grinned and the crowd screamed.

And with ‘good looking guys’ you meant one particular one that caught your eye since the beginning of the show. Of course you knew who he was. You saw him on your TikTok the whole time, liking way too many edits that popped up on your For-You-Page.

Eyes roaming the crowd again they stopped at him for a short moment but you were sure he noticed. “Never thought an Eurovision candidate would be a fan of mine.” You now grinned at the blonde, walking towards the front of the stage and kneeling down. “Joost mother fucking Klein is listening to my music guys!” You screamed and the crowd cheered again. Eyes darting to him, you saw him laugh. It would be a lie to say you didn’t listen to his music, even though you didn’t understand a word.

Walking to the back of the stage to your DJ you said something to him and soon the melody of Europapa was blasting through the speakers and you and almost the whole audience did that silly little dance and you saw Joost laughing and cheering, definitely liking it.

After the song finished you kept on going with your show, watching Joost sing along to all of your songs. Something you never thought would happen. You played your last few songs, totally forgetting the time and soon everything was over. “THANK YOU AMSTERDAM!! I LOVE YOU!” You screamed into the mic, your eyes finding the blondes again, before walking off stage.

“Jesus babes that was amazing!” Tommy practically yelled and hugged you, making you giggle. “Thanks Tommy, hey, could you get Joost backstage?” You asked in your sweetest voice possible, bashing your lashes at him and he grinned. “Uhhh.” Scoffing you hit his arm earning a huff from him. “I see what I can do.” And with that he was off.

Walking back to your dressing room you flipped down on the couch, taking a cup with whatever liquor was inside, and opened your instagram. Your DM’s and notifications were flooded with messages, pictures and videos of what just happened. People already shipped you and even had a name for the both of you. You giggled and went on TikTok, notifications blowing up on there as well. Being so concentrated on your phone you didn’t hear the knock that was coming from the door.

As you finally did notice tho you quickly yelled a “yeah?” and the door opened. Joost standing in the doorway.

Sitting up straight now you smiled widely. “Hey.” He breathed out like he couldn’t believe he’s finally meeting you. “Hi.” You smiled back and got up to hug him. “Can’t believe I’m finally meeting you.” Joost chuckled and you smiled, pulling away. “Really?” He nodded. “Been listening to your music for a while now actually.” He confessed and it made you really proud somehow. “Well thank you.” You giggled.

Both of you sat down and started to chatter away and you couldn’t stop yourself from noticing how he was smiling the whole time as he was excitedly talking to you about everything. And you got along so well. The time flew by so fast and soon it was 4 in the morning.

“I should get going.” Joost said as he looked at his phone. You just nodded. “Yeah I’m so done. Need a lot of sleep now. Long day tomorrow. I want to do some sightseeing.” You smiled, pulling your knees to your chest. “Hey uh.” Joost started and scratched the back of his head nervously. “How about I give you my number and you hit me up? I can show you around if you want.”

Your eyes lit up as you nodded. “I’d really like that you smiled as he dropped his shoulder. You didn’t even noticed how nervous he actually was to ask you that question. Handing over his phone you quickly typed your number down along with his name. He smiled as you gave it back to him. “Then good night I guess. I see you around then.”

And with that he walked out of the club, not being able to stop the smile that was forming on his face. Taking his phone out he looked at your contact and chuckled.

You saved yourself on his phone as ‘Stargirl Interlude 💫’, your stage name.

[builtbybrokenbells]

Gold Dust Woman | xiv

Apologies and confessions lead to a climactic end for Gold Dust Woman.

Read part thirteen here

Listen while reading: the chain - fleetwood mac (other songs mentioned but not really important to the story)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader, Sam Kiszka x f!reader, Danny Wagner x OC

Word Count: 15k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, oral (f!receiving), touch of voyeurism, biting, lots of dirty talk, brief mention of spitting, touch of degradation, drinking, swearing, angst, arguing, breakups, crying, insecurity, self doubt, feelings of regret, anger, lots of fluff near the end 🫶🏻, sorry if I miss any!!

The last chapter 😭 these last few months of writing this story has been absolutely spectacular for me. the love and support and engagement I’ve received from you all has been mind blowing, and I’m so thankful for each and every one of you. Without you guys, Gold Dust Woman would be nothing. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I really hope that you enjoy the ending as much as I did. As always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻🫶🏻 (very lightly edited so please forgive me 😁)

“Sam,” You sighed, setting your coffee cup down with a shaking hand. “We have to talk.” You said, much less hesitation about your choices, now. It seemed like clarity had become you the minute you had realized Jake was the best person for you. You knew it was true, mostly because you had not felt one shred of anxiety that even came close to what you had been feeling all day. No, you weren’t excited to break Sam’s heart, but you were certainly less apprehensive about it than you were with Jake.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he said, stress already showing in his features. You managed a small smile, your stomach sick at the knowledge you would effectively have to go through two breakups in a single day.

“No, I guess it isn’t.” You said, moving to take a seat on the couch. “Sit with me?”

“Yeah, okay.” He whispered, sitting down beside you. You ran your hands over the fabric of your jeans, drawing in a long breath as you tried to settle your thoughts. Eventually, you looked over at him, noticing the sadness in his eyes before you even spoke a word. It killed you knowing that you had to be the bad guy despite months of trying to figure out how to end up the hero. The sad truth was, in the entanglement you had all found yourselves in, nobody could be the hero, yet you all seemed to fall somewhere under the victim category. So much suffering, yet no one to blame or save you from the pain.

“I love you, Sam.” You started, making sure that despite the impending doom, he knew that you still had so much love for him in your heart. Just because you were not going to be his forever did not mean that he wasn’t holding on to a huge part of you. “And I have for a really long time.”

“I know, y/n. I love you, too.” He said, watching expectantly as he prepared for the worst possible outcome of the conversation. You leaned back into the cushions, exhausted from the days events already, comforted none by the knowledge that it would only get worse from there. You reached out, grabbing his hand in your own and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“There’s a saying that’s always stuck out to me,” you explained, tone quiet and as relaxed as possible. “If you don’t receive the love from the ones meant to love you, you’ll spend the rest of your life searching for it. I feel like up until now, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I’ve been looking for so long that I’m starting to go blind, and I’m missing the entire point of being alive.” You laughed at your own stupidity, finding your search for love quite comical in the moment. You had spent a lifetime trying to find something that you never really believed in, and now that two blatant contradictions to your disbelief happened to be staring you in the face, you had no idea how to address it. “I don’t remember who said it, but it’s always stuck with me. I always thought it was you, Sammy. I really did. I wish it was, because it kills me to do this to you, but it’s not.”

“Oh,” he breathed, nodding his head slowly as he absorbed the information you were giving him. It was a heavy hit, especially after you had stormed into the room with such excitement to see him, but he managed to persevere.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, hoping to catch his eye to show him you were being genuine.

“You don’t have to be, Princess.” He assured you, letting out a long sigh. He could be all but mad at you, for he had made the bed that you were forcing him to lie in. “I knew the risks, and it was worth it. It was always worth it, for you.” He said, looking up to meet your face. “Y/n, I meant every single thing I said to you over the last few months; I care that you’re happy, and if this will make you happy, I can live with it.”

“You have no idea how badly I wish that it could’ve been us. I see Danny and Dylan, and I’m so envious that I never got to have that with you. It’s been so hard since the very beginning… I just feel like I never got to have you the way I wanted to.” You felt the tears brimming in your eyes once again, unsure if you could make it through the conversation without cracking. Everything hurt, and you had no idea how to stop it. Sometimes, you believed as though pain was the only thing you knew how to feel. “I love you so much Sam, and I’m lucky that I got the chance to have you at all, even if it was different than how I pictured it. These last few months were beautiful, and they taught me so much. Even if it didn’t work out the way we hoped does not mean it meant nothing to me.” Your cheeks were soaked with the admissions of your guilt, tears falling at an unprecedented rate and showing no signs of stopping. You couldn’t control it, and at this point, you didn’t really care to. Sorrow was heavy in the air, constantly following you and making home even when you tried so hard to keep it out. There was no shame in displaying your heart to him, because that’s all you knew how to do, anymore.

“Hey, come on.” He pleaded, reaching up to wipe your cheeks clean. “Don’t waste all of those tears on me. God knows I don’t deserve it.” He said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You do, Sam. You deserve the world, and I wish that I could have given it to you.” You cried, leaning into his touch in hopes that it would take away some of the pain. “Maybe I could have loved you better if I loved myself more. I might have found the courage to say something sooner, and we could be living in the universe where we’re happy and everything is okay.”

“This isn’t your fault, y/n.” He said, fighting back tears of his own. “It’s mine; I should have said something sooner, I should have fought harder, or maybe I never should have put you in a position like this at all. I guess it doesn’t really matter, now. The war is over, and you can stop fighting. You’re tired, and I’ve known it for a while. I’m sorry that I let things go this far. You can blame whoever you want, but please stop blaming yourself.” He moved ever so slightly closer to you, grabbing your face gently between his hands. “If this is going to make you the happiest, I would never be upset at you for it. You deserve every bit of happiness this world has to offer. You always try and give it to everyone else, but it’s your turn, baby. You get to enjoy it, and you don’t have to worry about me.” He wiped your face clean once more, the soft touch warming your soul and soothing the pain. You wished so badly to make everyone happy, to settle the problem with no casualties, but it was just not possible. Someone had to hurt, or all of you would hurt. There was no winning, and in a way, everyone lost at least something along the way.

“In another world, Sammy.” You said, recalling the daydreams you and him had shared in the past. They seemed so close, so real, but you didn’t want to reach for them anymore. Your arms were tired of searching for something that might never be found, and if they were, you knew they would not have been able to compare to the fairytale world that you had created in your mind. “We’d have the house, the dogs, and the rest of our lives.”

“I’ll be dreaming of that world forever,” he said, a sad smile crossing his lips. “Just make sure that he treats you right, because you deserve it, and you make sure that he knows he’s the luckiest man to ever walk this earth. If he doesn’t realize that, then I’ll remind him myself.”

“Thank you for understanding. Thank you for not hating me.” You sniffled, already so burnt out from the whirlwind of emotion the day had thrown at you.

“Hate you?” He scoffed, a smile on his face despite tears welling in his eyes. “There is no possible way that I could ever hate you, y/n. You’re my best friend above anything else, and you’ve given me a lifetime’s worth of happiness in just a few months. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I could never make one as big as that.”

“I could never hate you either, Sammy. I hope that when this all settles, we can still be friends. I don’t want to live a life without you in it.”

“Of course we can. It’s going to suck at first, and it’s going to hurt, but we’ll get through it. We can get through anything.” He promised. “Thank you for being honest, and thank you for giving me the best few months of my entire life.”

“Thank you, Sam. You showed me how beautiful this life can be when you’re looking in the right places, and you helped me more than you can ever imagine.” You said, reaching out to brush the hair from his face. You let your thumb drift over the soft skin on his cheek, feeling better than you had in days. You hated hurting him, but you knew that it was what you had to do; Sam was your best friend, someone you loved to be around and loved making memories with, but in the long term, it just wasn’t right. You could have a good life with him, a great one, even, but you feared that it paled in comparison to the life you could live with Jake. Sam was comfortable, familiar, and fantastic all the same. He would make a phenomenal partner, but you knew he would be suited best for someone else. Jake was what you needed, what you craved for the future, and you knew he was exactly what your heart wanted. The truth lied within the fact that you were aching all over after walking away from him, and now that you knew you were walking away from Sam, you felt lighter than you ever had before. It did not feel good to hurt him, but it felt good to free yourself from the chains that your entanglement was tying you down with, and it felt good to finally be certain in your own decisions.

“You did too, Princess.” He mumbled, closing his eyes to hold back his tears. “Like I said before, if you ever change your mind, I’ll be here. I’d wait for you forever if I had to. If you ever decide to try again, I promise I’ll do it right, next time.” He said, turning his head slightly to press a kiss to your thumb.

“It has nothing to do with rights and wrongs, Sammy. I made just as many mistakes as anyone else. Don’t punish yourself for it, because we were all doing what we thought was best.” He nodded, hearing your words and trying his best to adhere to the request. “Thank you for everything.” You said once again, making sure your gratitude was clearly expressed.

“I assume you have to go deliver the good news, now?” He asked, eyes glistening with an emotion you had never seen from him before. It was killing you to cause him such suffering, but it was for the best, and in years to come you hoped to look back on this rough patch and have all of you laugh at your own stupidity.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You sighed, ready to make amends with Jake but not ready to leave Sam. “One last kiss, for old times sake?” You asked, a shred of hope in your voice. He chuckled at your question, drawing you in to him without another word. The kiss was soft, sweet yet sad all the same. It was a celebration as much as it was a goodbye. When you parted, sadness lingered on both of your faces, but there was also relief in knowing that the struggle was over. As much as he was mourning the fact that he couldn’t have you, he respected your choice, and he knew that with time he could heal the wounds he collected from the battle. The dance that you had been doing was only worsening them, and with proper care, the scars might be so light that you would never guess they existed in the first place. “I love you, Sam. I think I will for the rest of my life. A piece of me will always belong to you.”

“Me too, y/n. I love you, and I hope that even after it’s all said and done, you don’t forget that.”

“Never.” You promised, placing another kiss to his cheek, this time. “I’ll see you soon, Sammy.”

“I hope so,” he said, grabbing your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze before rising to his feet. He gave a small wave goodbye before disappearing out of the room. You took in a long breath, but stood despite your body begging you not to. You were terrified to face the world after inflicting so much damage on another, and more so, you were terrified of rejection from Jake. After hurting him so badly, you would understand if he never wanted to speak to you again. You hoped that it was not the case as you broke into the hallway, headed straight for the direction of his dressing room, because you feared that him turning you down would effectively turn you to dust.

You stopped in front of his door, no more hesitation present in your mind as you knocked on the door. You waited for something, but received nothing. There was not even a hint that there was life inside the room. You swore under your breath as you raised your hand to knock again. You listened intently, wondering if you might be able to hear a movement beyond the door, but there wasn’t a thing that signalled that he was inside. You tried not to let the disappointment take over, but it was creeping up on you faster with every second that passed. You worried that you had effectively driven the final nail in the coffin, that you had pushed him just a little too far and now there was no way to recover from the hurt you had caused. You took a step back from the door as you continued deliberating your next move. You looked down the hallway, feeling like you had stumbled upon the key to the grand prize. Josh was walking towards you, mindless and uncaring of his surroundings.

You stepped towards him, cutting him off before he could make it any further and startling him with the suddenness. “Josh,” you greeted, trying to keep your frantic mind away from the public eye.

“Gold Dust Woman,” he greeted, slowly looking over your face. “You don’t look very good.”

“No,” you chuckled, knowing his observation barely scratched the surface “guess I don’t.” You sighed, wondering how to word your question to showcase the importance of your need for an answer. “Is Jake in his room? O-or do you know where he is? I really need to talk to him.” Your nervousness slipped out in your stutter, and he was quick to catch on to it.

“Uh, no, he’s not in his room.” He said, a note of sympathy in his eyes. “He’s in pretty bad shape, y/n. I think it’s best to leave things be for now.” If your heart could shatter any more, it did just that at the sound of his words.

“I know I fucked up, Josh. I just need to talk to him and make it right.” You whispered.

“Listen,” he sighed, placing his hand on your shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze “you’re my best friend, but he’s my brother. I know that you didn’t want to hurt him, and I know it was never your intention, but he needs some time to heal. Sometimes it’s better to just let it go and move forward.” His sympathy felt like a punch in the face, but his misunderstanding of your intent was even worse.

“No, Josh, I’m not trying to coddle him because I broke his heart, I’m telling you that I fucked up. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I need to make it right. I’m not trying to put a bandaid on a bullet hole, I need to tell him that I was wrong.” You rushed your words, looking over his confused expression. You gave a nervous gulp, not wanting to speak the obvious but knowing that it would be the only way he understood your intent. “I just broke up with Sam. I was wrong, Josh, and I need to say it before it’s too late.” You were desperate in your explanation, hoping that now he could see what you were trying to tell him. His eyebrows raised, lips parting slightly in shock at your words. “This whole thing is a mess, and I know that I’m at fault, but I’m trying to do the right thing. I need to do right by him, Josh. I swear I’m not trying to hurt him any more.”

“Oh, wow.” He said, processing the information you had thrown at him.

“I know, and you can hate me for hurting them; god knows I deserve it, but he deserves the truth. He deserves everything good in this world and I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try. I know he’s your brother, and I know you’re trying to protect him, and I’m so grateful that he has someone as good as you to look out for him, but please, if he’s in your room just let me see him.”

“I don’t hate you, y/n. I just wish I could solve it for everyone, take the pain away, even. You’re all family, and this is incredibly confusing and frustrating, but I do not hate you.” He clarified, moving forward to pull you into a hug. “You’re sure?”

“More than anything else in the whole world.” You assured him, holding him tightly as if it would ease your hurt. His arms were familiar, but strange in the sense that you knew it was not him you were supposed to be hugging.

“I’ll let him know you’re looking for him.” He said, giving you a reassuring pat on the back.

“Thank you,” you said, but it held little weight in comparison to the relief you felt at his words.

“I think Aaron’s looking for you,” he nodded in the direction of the manager who was quickly approaching the pair of you. “Probably time for soundcheck.”

“Fuck sakes.” You sighed, turning to see for yourself. Josh was right, Aaron was talking to you before he was even in earshot, ordering your presence on stage. As much as you loved your job, you seemed to despise it more than anything in that moment. You looked back at Josh, giving him another silent thanks with your eyes before walking away. You went right to the stage, ignoring any other attempts at initiating conversation from anyone else passing by. Dylan was sitting at the drum set, tapping out a small beat while Riley was soloing on his bass guitar. Not even the sight of your best friends could break you from your misery; tears were still begging to be shed, only worsening when you picked up your own instrument. “Let’s get this over with.” You muttered, uttering a small check into the mic to make sure it was on.

“You seem chipper today.” Dylan noted, begging to catch a glimpse of your face so she could judge what type of poor mood you were in. “Left this morning before I even woke up. Felt like a cheap tinder date.” You let out a small chuckle at her joke, but opted not to respond as you tuned your strings to your liking. Without any warning, you let out a loud strum on the strings, kicking on your distortion pedal as you stepped towards the mic and let out a shout.

As if it were muscle memory, as soon as she heard the sound, Dylan joined in on the drums. Riley followed suit, singing into his own microphone alongside of you. You proceeded with the song, singing the lyrics with all of the emotion you were holding in your heart. Riley allowed you to sing the verses and the chorus, only joining in every so often when he felt the need to accentuate your impact. When the solo came around, you looked only at the floor as your hands did all of the work. As you finished, you leaned forward to sing the last few lines, ending the most passionate rendition of ‘Them Bones’ by Alice in Chains you had ever performed.

“So we’re angry, today.” Dylan said, catching her breath as she rested her arms for a moment.

“We’re everything today, Dylan.” You corrected, switching to your clean setting. “Try Little Wing.”

“You got it.” She said, waiting for you to begin. You played around with the Wah pedal, making sure your tone was right before you started the melodic intro. You couldn’t look out to the seats, knowing that there was only two bodies watching this time around. It killed you to know you had hurt the brothers enough that they felt as though they couldn’t even watch your rehearsal. Your chest was aching, wondering if you had truly fucked everything up as badly as you believed you did.

The cry of your guitar was similar to the one of your soul, echoing through the empty air just to return back and strike you in the face. Your eyes were still blurred with tears of defeat, but you refused to let any more fall. The weakness you had displayed within the last few hours left you shocked that you hadn’t crumbled to the ground in a mess of your former self, yet. You felt like you could, and you definitely wanted to, but you knew you had to keep going for just a little while longer. Your bones ached with exhaustion and your body was begging for a moment of peace, yet you continued on as if nothing was wrong. It was your best defence mechanism, and your only one. If you stopped now, you would never get back up again. As tempting as it was, giving up was not an option until you settled the score with Jake and did everything you could to make things right again.

Dylan drummed along with your playing and Riley was near perfect in his timing, but when you stepped up to sing, your fingers slipped from their position. An off note rang through the air, covered by your voice and quick work at recovery. You made it through the lyrics with no other mishaps, but when the outro came around, you seemed to completely lose your train of thought midway through. You let out a slur of curses, angry at yourself and the instrument for not doing what you wanted it to do. “All good, y/n.” Dylan tried to mediate, knowing your temper all too well. “Can try it again if you want.”

“No, just move on.” You shook your head, starting into another riff. You only chose to play it as a way to prove to yourself you still had the talent, but you couldn’t seem to get the right sound from your guitar that you were hoping for. You tried it a few more times, but couldn’t find the right rhythm for the outcome you wanted. “Fuck!” You exploded, your moment of anger catching you off-guard and echoing through the microphone. You practically ripped the strap from your body, slamming the guitar onto the stand and walking away without another word. Dylan nor Riley felt the need to call you back, knowing that your time on stage had come to an end for the time being. Forcing you to pick the guitar back up would only result in a catastrophic mess, and they were not willing to risk another Gibson guitar being shattered on the floor of a stage.

You walked around the corner, ignoring Aaron’s persistent complaints about your short lived soundcheck, and headed straight to your dressing room. The door slammed behind you with enough force to knock the building down and you collapsed on your couch without any care for your childish display. You put your head in your hands, hoping to hold the tears in for good, but they still seemed to find away around the strength in which your palms were pressed to your face. You felt like the world was ending, the sky crashing down and the earth cracking below you. After so long playing with fire, you had finally succumbed to the fatal burns of your own mistakes. You had hurt the two people you loved most, and you knew nothing about how to fix it, or even if you could mend the damage you had done.

You reached to your purse that was lazily discarded on the floor, rummaging around before finding a few single-shot bottles of whiskey. You took one and swallowed it down, ignoring the sting that settled in your chest, for it was much more pleasant than how you were already feeling. You dumped the other two into the coffee cup that Sam had given you, the liquid just reaching the brim of the cup. You took two long sips from it, uncaring of the unpleasant taste. You made it halfway through the brew before the knocking began. If you had to choose your least favourite sound, that would be at the top of your list. You ignored it the first few times, but it had eventually gotten so loud and persistent that you could no longer tune it out.

You swung the door open, met with the face of your stylist. “Told you we’d be spending lots of time together, today.” She said, opting to ignore your clear distress.

“Kind of in the middle of something.” You said, furrowing your eyebrows at her disregard for the scene.

“Moping around your dressing room?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow as she waited for an answer. When you remained silent, she stepped inside. “Let’s get you cleaned up and brand new, again.” She said, kicking the door shut behind her. She motioned for you to sit in your chair, to which you obeyed. She was a strong personality, one that was hard to adjust to, but you loved her. Much like everyone else on tour, she was family, and unlike everyone else, she wasn’t one to feed into your bullshit. “Get it all out now,” she said, looking to you as she took a seat on the arm of your couch.

“You want me to cry on command?” You questioned, confused about her motive.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I want.” She nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. You felt like you were being graded on your misery, and it was a very confusing feeling. So confusing, that you almost seemed to be distracted from your poor mood.

“I… I think I’m okay, now.” You said, certain that the tears had finally run dry.

“You better be sure, because once I start, I can’t have you crying all of my hard work away.” You wanted to argue with her, but somehow the blunt words seemed to snap you out of your previous state of mind. Actually, you found them quite funny. She approached you after pulling a few things from her bag, giving you ample opportunity to double back on your word. She kneeled in front of you, bringing a makeup wipe to your face as she softly removed any physical reminders of your hurt. “I told you not to let them steal your shine, Gold Dust Woman.”

“I think I stole my own shine, Rachel.”

“Mhm,” she shook her head, dabbing away the mascara stains from under your eye. “Whoever stole it needs to give me my girl back, because this is not the Gold Dust Woman I know.”

“I know.” You agreed, solemnly cementing her words in truth.

“We’re gonna make you look beautiful, and then hopefully your mind will follow suit. Sometimes you just need a little break from the world.” She was right, and usually your time spent with her was a break from the real world. She put you in a suit of armour with her work, turning you into a version of yourself you barely believed to be real. You hoped that once she dressed you in your stage clothes, you could find the confidence to make it through the rest of the night. She was like a mother in the way she cared; firm yet comforting, and unwilling to put up with any bullshit. Neither of you seemed to talk much about any troubles, but she always seemed to make you feel better just by being in your company.

Once your face was clean, she took extra time to soothe the puffiness from all of the crying. When she began to apply makeup, she used a gentle touch and utmost concentration. She didn’t break her focus until she was certain that she had perfected the look. She guided you to your clothes, allowing you to dress yourself before she fine tuned any details. You were clad in a gold tank top, elegant and beautiful in its simplicity. It was filled with very tiny, reflective sequins that from afar seemed to blend into one. It was low cut, the neckline lax and swooping down as it settled on itself. It stopped just above your navel, the material loose and comfortable to move in. She picked a pair of leather pants that flared at the bottom but stayed very form fitting above the knee. She pinned your shirt in place before moving on to your hair. She touched up her earlier work but didn’t change much, leaving it hang freely over your shoulders before spraying it with hairspray.

“How do you feel?” She asked, voice quiet as she stepped out of your view of the mirror. You inspected your reflection, wondering if the woman staring back at you was truly you, or just an imposter begging you to believe it. You couldn’t tell for a second that you had been such a mess only a short time before. Your eyes were painted dark and prominent, standing out even further by the accent of gold eyeliner she had trailed down your face. She had made gold tears with the makeup, so subtle that you could miss it, yet shining just perfectly under the light.

“You deserve a raise,” you breathed, leaning closer to inspect yourself even further. She crouched down, now the same height as you and staring into the mirror with you.

“Even when you cry, y/n, it’s made of gold.” She whispered, looking to your face with a small smile on her lips. “Bring back my Gold Dust Woman. Show them that you’re worth more than all of that pain.”

“Thank you, Rachel.” You said, feeling more gratitude for her than you could even comprehend. The relationship between an artist and a stylist is nearly incomprehensible; no, you did not share the darkest of your secrets with her, but she most often saw the most vulnerable and intimate parts of you. She was projecting your inner self outwardly, and to do so, she needed to know you wholly. She was phenomenal at her job, and you were eternally grateful for her.

“Don’t thank me yet.” She said, standing once again. “Put my work to good use, then we’ll have time for gratitude.” You chuckled at her bold persona, nodding in agreement. She straightened the gold chains around your neck before slipping out of the room in silence. You waited until her footsteps faded away until you moved out of your chair, finding a shred of courage to move towards the hallway yourself.

You peered into the open area, timid to find the bodies that occupied it. You leaned against the doorframe, finding Riley and Dylan only a few feet away from the stage. You could hear the soft lull of Jake’s guitar calling to you, begging you to go and watch him work his magic. You took a few steps forward towards your bandmates, sneaking up behind them and shocking them with your presence. “Hey,” you uttered, remorseful about your blatant disregard for the soundcheck earlier. Dylan tuned her head to look at you, softened by your shy expression. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“It’s okay,” she said, knowing that there was nothing you could do about it now. “Just don’t do it tonight.”

“Of course not,” you assured her, sneaking into the small space between her and Riley.

“You okay, now?” He asked, turning his head to look down at you.

“Yeah, much better.” You nodded.

“That’s all that matters.” He said, slipping an arm around your waist. Dylan did the same, a silent show of agreement. You slung you arms around their shoulders, finding it easier to stand with the strength of their support. You knew that no matter what happened, you had plenty of love coming your way. You had a world full of friends who would give anything to make you smile and go to the ends of the earth to take away the sadness. Grateful was not a strong enough word to express how you felt about them, and you wished you could be better at showing it. Your hope was that when the storm settled from loving the Kiszka’s, the world would appear easier to understand and navigate.

You watched the stage from the sideline, noticing immediately that you were on the same side as Jake normally took post on. It was hard to notice anyone or anything else when he was around because his presence took up all of the space in a room. He was beautiful, kind and generous beyond measure, and you were so close to having him forever. You were foolish to let him slip through your fingers once, and you would be damned to ever let it happen again. He was the earth you stood on, the sky above, and the air you breathed. Jake was everything, and you were an idiot for ever thinking otherwise. You felt entranced as you watched his fingers graze the fretboard, pulled in by his talent and suffocated by his beauty. Before you even knew it, the song had came to an end and the boys were walking away from the instruments.

You thought that this was your chance to get Jake by himself for a moment. As he walked towards you, head turned towards the ground, you broke free of the hold your bandmates had on you. You stepped to the side, landing a few feet in front of Jake in hopes to stop him from going any further. He looked up, surprised at your presence. He looked worse than you had ever seen him; his eyes were tired, bloodshot as if he’d spent the afternoon in the same state you had been. At the sight of you, he did not smile, nor did he give you any hint that he was happy to see you. You could not blame him, because if you were in his shoes, you would never want to speak to you again. Still, you persevered in hopes that you could change the situation for the better despite your heart begging you to run and hide.

“Jake,” you whispered, holding his gaze for as long as he would allow it. “Can I talk to you for a second? Please?”

“Y/n,” he sighed, pain rising in his features the longer he was in your company. “I just need some time, okay?”

“No, Jake, I swear-“

“Please,” he cut you off, clearly not knowing what you were trying to tell him. “Just give me a few days, then I promise we can try the friends thing.” He mumbled, averting his gaze away from you. You wanted to scream your love from him so loudly that it shattered the windows and lived inside the walls forever, to show the world how much he meant to you and how apologetic you were for not realizing it sooner, but you seemed frozen in your place. The rejection was not unexpected, but it was debilitating.

“No, I just need-“ you tried again, but his hand landed on your bicep, giving it a gentle squeeze of reassurance before he stepped past you and continued down the hall. You turned, watching him appear smaller and smaller before he eventually turned into a room and disappeared from sight completely. You thought you were going to be sick, broken underneath the weight of the love you were carrying for him. As much as you wanted to chase after him, you knew it was best to let him come to you in his own time. Still, even if you knew it was for the best did not make the fact easy to choke down.

You looked over to your bandmates, noticing that they had been watching the interaction unfold in hopes of discovering the source of your misery. You let out a long sigh, shrugging your shoulders as if to tell them you didn’t know any more than they did. Dylan nodded her head towards her dressing room, silently asking if you wanted to wait with her until it was time to perform. You have a solemn nod, letting her lead the way. When the three of you were together in her dressing room, door closed and locking out any unwanted listeners, she finally felt comfortable enough to pry some information for you. You explained to the two about the events of the day, biting back tears as you spoke. When you made it to the end of your sad story, the shock on their faces was too much to bear. You closed your eyes, leaning your head on the back of the couch while you tried to forget about the sadness that seemed to make permanent home in your head.

“So, how are you going to tell him?” Dylan asked, now at the hands of the stylist who had recently been in your own company.

“Have to get him to talk to me first, don’t you think?”

“No,” her answer was simple.

“How am I supposed to tell someone I love them without talking to them?” You rolled your eyes, sipping on the drink Riley had grabbed for you. A little liquid courage could get you through anything, or that’s what you always thought. This time, it seemed different. The anxiety stemming from your predicament with Jake seemed too large to calm with any sort of substance. You weren’t worried about superficialities, nor surface level scars that would fade into nothing; this was the love of your life, someone who you wanted to spend forever with, and you were terrified you had lost him for good.

“Do you forget that we’re in a band?” Riley asked, looking over at you with a hint of humour in his eye. He was tipsy, but he was just as enthralled in the conversation as Dylan. “We write about our feelings for a living. Sing him a song, dumbass.” You reached over, smacking his arm gently as you both dissolved into a fit of laughter. The more time you spent with the two, the more the dread seemed to float away. It was still lingering, but it seemed much less daunting with them in your company.

“What song should I sing?” You asked, tracing circles into the fabric of your pants to distract yourself from your fear.

“That one’s on you,” Riley said. “I’m not the one confessing my love for him.”

“Maybe you should, I think you two would be awfully cute together.” Dylan teased, hidden behind Rachel as she had her face painted with stage makeup.

“I’ll let her shoot her shot, first. If she fucks up, though…” Riley trailed off, slowly turning his gaze towards you. “You better watch out.” Another chorus of laughter echoed through the room at his words. After the excitement died down, you drifted away into your thoughts, thinking of the best way to express your feelings for him. After a few moments, an idea surfaced in the mess of self-doubt that seemed impossible to pass up.

“I got it.” You announced, a small smile breaking out on your lips. Riley leaned over, giving you a pat on the back as a way to say he was proud of you.

And thus began the longest wait of your entire life.

The minutes seemed to pass with the length of an hour, and the hours felt like eternities. You drank, trying to settle the nerves in yours stomach, and tapped your foot against the floors to rid yourself of the jitters. Riley left the room to allow Dylan to get changed, and eventually Rachel left to tend to his stage outfit. The small talk had between you and your drummer was nearly painful, both of you knowing that you were completely uninvested in any of the topics at hand. You were nearly vibrating by the time Aaron knocked on the dressing room door, bursting at the seams with anticipation of getting on stage. You joined together at the side of the stage, listening to Aaron’s short instructions to ensure the performance would run smoothly.

When he motioned for you to start, you have a nod and a prayer for enough confidence to get through the night. When you appeared in front of the crowd, you were met with cheers and applause, fuelling your ego only enough for you to pick up your guitar. Dylan sat behind her drums, a blinding smile on her lips as she started a slow beat on the kick drum to set the mood. “How’s everyone doing tonight?” Riley asked, met with a cheer of an excitement from the audience. He looked over to you, laughing at the sound.

“We’re Gold Dust Woman, and we’re so excited to spend the evening with you all. Here’s a song we wrote about being drunk…” you said, looking to Riley for a moment “and in love.” You started a familiar riff, one that had been circling around the internet after your first performance of the song. You knew that once the tour finished up, it would be first on the list of songs to record.

The longer you played, the more confident you felt in your own ability. You found yourself intermittently checking over your shoulder, looking to see if the boys were watching you from their usual spot. At first, there was only Josh and Danny observing from the sidelines. Halfway through the set, Sam made an appearance, looking beautiful in his stage clothes and makeup. Your heart ached at the sight, but when he caught your eye and gave you a reassuring smile, you felt on top of the world. The weight lifted from you ever so slightly just by knowing he did not hold any resentment towards you. There was only one more loose end that needed tying, and you had put your entire faith in the idea that Jake would be willing to watch your performance that night.

When you got down to the last three songs, you were tired and dejected, ready to pack up your things and stitch up your wounds. Jake had not yet made an appearance, and you were beginning to believe he would not leave his room until the second he was needed on stage. You couldn’t blame him, but you so desperately wanted to blame someone, which ultimately landed you back in your initial position. All of the self-doubt and insecurities flooded back in, giving your hands a nervous tremor as you played the solo of your second to last song. Riley sang softly over your playing, distracting the crowd from any potential mishaps your fingers may have caused. You finished with a small outro, trying to zone in on your fretboard to avoid any further mistakes. You finished with a smile, happy that you finished at all.

You looked back over your shoulder, knowing that you would be met with another staggering rejection, yet needing to check anyway. Your heart nearly erupted from your chest and your breath caught in your throat. Your head was swimming with adoration as your eyes landed on the fourth body that finally joined the crowd. He caught your gaze, the same intense emotion taking hold of him in an instant. You struggled to break from the state, wishing to stay lost in his eyes for the rest of time. His lips upturned in the corner, not quite smiling at you, but acknowledging that he was invested in you. You managed to shake your head free from the overwhelming fear, looking to Riley in hopes he could communicate with you wordlessly. You nodded your head in his direction, silently asking if you could switch positions. He caught on immediately, making it seem like the interaction was planned all along as he moved towards you.

You gave him a high five as you passed, trying to make the switch as relaxed as possible. “Alright, we’ve got one more song for you tonight, and it’s a very special one to me.” You said, tuning down your top string. “If you know it, sing it with me. I think I might need some help to get through it.” You encouraged, tuning your bottom string. You casted a look back towards Dylan, a hopeful smile on your lips. She gave you a grin with all of the support she could muster in her features. She gave you a drum roll, hiking anticipation until you began playing.

You began the infamous introduction, the first cluster of notes immediately sending a surge of excitement through the room. Dylan joined in, giving you a steady beat, and Riley bit back a smile as he plucked the top string of his bass.

“Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise

Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies” Riley sang with you, your voices harmonizing alongside the crowd’s excited voices. You took a step back, playing a small part on the guitar before leading him into the chorus. Before you began, you looked over at the group of boys watching your performance. You caught Jake’s eye, holding him captive as you sang directly to him.

“And if you don’t love me now,

You will never love me again

I can still hear you saying

You would never break the chain” you sang, powerful and with clear intent. Jakes head cocked to the side, his eyebrow raising in disbelief as he watched your blatant display of emotion. You sang the chorus once more before breaking your gaze, focusing on your hands to regain your composure. You could feel the rhythm in your heart, the beat of the drum rattling your bones and the bass pounding in your ears. If you could keep your focus on the music, you could finish the song. You continued repeating it in your head until you believed it.

“Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night

Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies

Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light” you looked to Riley, allowing him to lead you back into the chorus. He sang alone while you echoed his words back to him. He let you sing the next one, switching roles so he could echo you. You looked back at the side stage, the shine of tears in your eye as you saw the look of anger begin to form on Jake’s face. You continued singing, only stopping so he could play the bass line leading up to the solo. On his second run through, you began picking the bottom strings, speeding your pace the longer you played. You took a step back from the mic, losing yourself to the tune. You let your head fall back, eyes closed as your hands guided you through the process of the solo. When it came time to sing again, you were overcome with a sudden burst of energy.

“Chain keep us together!” You shouted into the microphone, looking to Riley as you did so.

“Running in the shadows!” He sang back, watching you to see when you would start again. You repeated your line, more passion than the last time, and he copied your energy. You grinned, walking over to him before singing again. He stepped to the side, allowing you to join him at his microphone. He faced you, playing at you as you did the same to him.

“Chain keep us together!”

“Running in the shadows!” You sang into the same mic, face to face as you played your instruments. The passion was electric, igniting your heart and your soul as it only increased further. You looked past Riley, catching Jake’s gaze one last time before singing the line once more. Dylan let out a loud bang on the drums, stopping the song entirely and filling the air with silence. After a second, everyone erupted into cheers. Dylan stood behind her drum set, raising her arms in the air in triumph. You looked back at her, laughing at her antics.

“Thank you, and goodnight!” Riley yelled into the microphone. You waved out at the crowd, slipping your strap over your shoulder and handing it off to a sound tech waiting for you just off the stage. You were breathless, barely able to thank the group for their endless compliments on your performance. You were stopped before you could move any further, frozen in your tracks by a body that stepped in front of you. You looked up, meeting Jakes angry eyes while fear settled in your stomach. Both of you were too caught up in the flurry of emotion to care about your surroundings, ignoring Aaron’s warning of the boys 45 minute timer until they got on stage.

Jake reached out, placing a hand on your upper arm as he guided you away from the group and towards your dressing room. He pushed the door shut behind him, looking to you as he waited for an explanation. You were at a loss for words, not expecting your performance to catch his attention so efficiently. “What the fuck was that, y/n?” He asked, his stare burning into you and his tone harsh. You opened your mouth to speak, but couldn’t seem to find anything meaningful to say. “You break up with me, tell me you’re in love with my brother, and then you get up on stage and pull a stunt like that? I have no idea what you want from me. If you want Sam, then have him, but you need to give me some time to get over you!”

“I was wrong!” You blurred out, panic stricken and desperate for him to slow down. “I don’t want you to get over me because I was wrong, Jake!” He paused, completely still as his expression shifted. He was frozen, eyes glossed over with disbelief as he processed your words.

“What?” His voice was quiet now, approaching you with utmost caution as if he was afraid to scare you away.

“I love you, Jake, and I was wrong.” You whispered, taking a step closer to him. “I was so wrong, and I know I can’t take back the pain I’ve already caused, but I can’t let you go. I love you. Three months ago, I loved you. In a year from now, I’ll still love you. When I’m eighty years old and watching the world happen around me from my front porch, I will still be thinking about how much I love you. It’s the type of love that’s forever, and I know that I will never feel this way for anyone else in my entire life. I’m so sorry for not seeing it sooner, and for walking away, or for thinking that there might be something happier for me somewhere else, but it’s just not true. You are everything Jake, and I am certain of that. You wouldn’t listen to me earlier, but I needed to tell you. I couldn’t live with myself if I just let you go.”

He watched you, head tilted to the side slightly as he absorbed your confession. His lips were parted slightly, in awe at the profound nature of your words. As nervous as you were, you couldn’t help but admire him. The beauty that he was surrounded with was indescribable; the way his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to process his thoughts, the glimmer in his eye that gave you a shred of hope, all of it. He was breathtaking, and you couldn’t believe that you had the opportunity to love him at all. You wanted to step forward, to be so close to him that you never had to worry about distance again, but you were afraid. You awaited the invitation, your body yearning to be in his arms and addicted to the memory of his touch.

“I know that this has been hard, and we’ve messed up, but I don’t want to make mistakes with anyone else, Jake. I would be happier struggling with you than I would be if I was comfortable with someone else. I don’t know how to love, or what it really means to love someone so completely and selflessly, but I know that I feel it for you, and god do I know that you feel it for me. I’ve never been so loved in my entire life, and I never want to let it go. You love the parts of me that I thought would always be unlovable. You loved me so much even knowing that you could get hurt, and you loved me even while I was hurting you. I’ve never really been in love like this before, but I know that this is what it’s supposed to be like.” You rambled, confessing every thought that crossed your mind. You hoped that it was enough, because you couldn’t fathom the thought of watching him walk away.

“A-are you sure?” He asked, seeming like he wanted to reach out for you but worried that it might be some kind of sick joke.

“I am more sure than I’ve ever been before.” You whispered, gravitating towards him despite your brain telling you to stop.

“100 percent?” He asked again, also leaning closer as he asked.

“A million percent, Jake.” The pain that was on his face seemed to vanish at your assurance. Without another word, he stepped forward, so close to you that it made your head spin. He grabbed your face in his hands, leaning down and kissing you with every ounce of love he could muster. You flung your arms around his torso, pulling him as close as possible. You wished you could live in the moment of euphoria forever, knowing that nothing in your life could ever top the feeling of loving him freely. He broke away from you, his face still dangerously close to your own. He pressed another soft kiss to your lips as a way of thanking you for coming back, but he had no need to thank you for anything.

You slipped your hands under his suit jacket, desperate to be closer but unsure of how to do it. He laughed at you, your cold hands shocking his warm skin. You looked up at him, hearts dancing in your eyes as you lost yourself in his expression of elation. “You meant everything?” He mumbled, looking over your face and soaking in every detail.

“I will scream it from every rooftop in the world if I have to. If that’s what it takes for you to understand how much you mean to me, I’d do it a hundred times over again.” His eyes were speaking words that only your soul could understand, pulling you in further and making you fall even further in love. “When I left earlier, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I had made a huge mistake. I came inside to to talk to Sam, and I couldn’t do it. It’s always been you, even if I was too stupid to see it.” You said, feeling choked up just at the thought of leaving him. “I’m so sorry, Jake. I know I can’t take it back but I hope that I can make it up to you with enough time.” He let his thumb drift over your cheek, shaking his head before you even finished speaking.

“No apologies, angel. It doesn’t matter anymore, what matters is that you’re here with me, now.” You smiled, unable to contain your excitement any longer. His lips were still close enough to your own that you could feel him start to smile, too. Without warning, he moved his hands, crouching down slightly and anchoring them on the back of your thighs. In one swift motion, he picked you up off the floor. You let out a shriek of surprise as you wrapped your legs around him and threw your arms around his neck to steady yourself. He laughed at the sound, making sure to hold you tightly so you knew there was no fear of falling. But, as long as you were with Jake, you were well aware that you would never have to fear falling unless it was in love, because he was always waiting to catch you.

“So this is it? We get to be happy, now?” You asked, looking down at him. It was almost too fantastic to be true, but you knew that it had to be, because no dream could make you feel as good as you did in that moment.

“I think so,” He breathed, grinning up at you with the same happiness in his heart. You closed your eyes, overwhelmed by the moment and unable to hold back any emotion trying to push through. A tear rolled down your cheek, which he was quick to spot. “Why are you crying, baby?” He asked, concern thick in his voice. “There’s no need for tears, anymore.”

“I’m just happy,” you said, voice shaking as you spoke. “I’m so happy, Jake. I never thought I could be this happy. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be something more than what I was born with, more than what I was ever given, but all of the work never seemed to make any sense because I still went home feeling the same way. I don’t feel like that, now. For the first time in my life, things feel perfectly right.” And it was true; you had searched forever, always coming out empty handed and wondering if you would ever find the thing you wanted most. Now, it was in front of you, and with a promise of forever. It was almost too much to take, but you were trying your hardest to accept it.

He moved to the couch, sitting down while being cautious of not dropping you. Once you were settled in his lap, he brought a hand to your face and wiped away any fallen tears. “It can be like this forever, y/n.” He whispered, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I promise I will love you as long as you want me to, and long after that. You are my heart and my soul, and everything worthwhile. I want to be everything you need, whenever you need it.”

“You’ve already given me the whole world, Jake.” You said, bringing your hand to his cheek. “You’ve given me more than I ever thought I could have.”

“And I’ll keep giving until I can’t give any more.” He said, drawing you closer to him and resting his head in the crook of your neck. “I’ll give you whatever your heart desires, Gold Dust Woman. All I ever wanted to do was make you happy.”

“Happy doesn’t even come close to what you do for me.” You said, running a hand through his hair. He placed a kiss to the skin on your neck, pulling away only for a second before beginning to move upwards. He kissed a trail to your lips, the final kiss nearly too sweet to break. You held him to you, settling your other hand on his shoulder to support yourself.

It only took a moment for the passion to catch up to you, weeks of being deprived of each other taking its toll and begging you to submit to the temptation. His fingertips ghosting over the exposed skin of your back was enough to drive you to insanity, and the intoxication from his kiss made it impossible to resist him. You gave an involuntary grind of your hips against him, your body’s natural response to the feeling of his touch. He tightened his grip on you as his breath caught in his throat, desperate for anything more than what you were already doing. He pulled you down on him, his erection pressing into your heat and sending a wave of arousal through you. You let out a small whimper into his mouth, sending him feral in an instant. His arms travelled up your body, sneaking under your shirt and begging to pull it off of you.

You parted from him, breathless with stars dancing in your eyes. “Jake, we don’t have time.”

“We have plenty of time,” he assured you, refusing to back down. He could see the worry in your eye, but he was certain in his statement. “Don’t you trust me by now, Gold Dust Woman?” The nickname was like pure ecstasy to you, settling deep in your chest and making home like it had always belonged there.

“Of course I do.” You said, regretful for ever doubting him. You lifted your arms, allowing him to discard your shirt with little care. He brought his mouth to your collarbone, starting softly with kisses as he unhooked your bra with expert precision. He let that fall to the ground, too, not concerned with anything other than getting your clothes off. He brought a hand to your breast, the cold air of the room stinging your skin but the warmth of his touch offsetting the harshness. He let his thumb drift over your nipple, sucking marks into your collarbones as if he was trying to cement the reality of his victory. He moved his mouth downwards, focusing on your other nipple with his tongue.

He was desperate to know you again, like the weeks of separation had made you strangers. If he could, he would have spent the entire night with you in your dressing room, but he knew he had to make quick work in order to finish before he was expected on stage. With the vulgar noises rolling off of your tongue, he knew it would not be difficult to do. You were deprived just the same as he was, just as desperate to be touched and just as eager for an orgasm. He let his teeth sink into your nipple, sending a shiver down your spine and a gasp from your lips. You could feel him smile against you, cockiness returning so quickly that you doubted it ever left. He moved his hands to your hips, prompting you to stand so he could take your pants off, too.

You did as he pleased, allowing him the honour of undoing the button and removing the fabric to reveal what he’d been missing so much. You kicked the pants to the side, leaving yourself almost completely exposed and accessible. He sat on the edge of the couch, practically drooling at the thought of having you wrapped around him again. His eyes raked over your body, his jaw hard set as if he was a predator eyeing its prey. Romantic Jake was long gone, and you were more than okay with that; you loved him, and you were joyous over the knowledge that he was yours and you were his, but you were desperate to be fucked. You would never tell him, knowing that it would only fuel his already strong ego, but he was the only one who could do it right. He settled his hand on your hip, drawing you in and bringing his mouth back to your skin. He admired you only for a moment before turning you around. He let his hand trail over your ass in silent admiration before placing a kiss there, too. Instead of pulling away like you expected, he sunk his teeth into the skin with intent to make you quiver under the touch.

He did just that, the sensation causing you to jump and shy away from the unexpected moment. He let out a chuckle as he pulled away, unapologetic for his actions. He let his finer trail under the band of your underwear, drawing the elastic back slightly and snapping it against your skin. You wanted to complain, to chastise him for the teasing, but you were enjoying it too much to care. You were willing to take anything and everything that he was willing to give. He hooked his fingers through the sides and pulled that fabric away from you too, leaving you fully naked and at his disposal. “Do you know how much I missed seeing you like this?” His voice was low, husky and filled with lust. You thought you might be able to get off on the sound alone. He spun you around again so you were facing him, looking down as you anticipated his next move. “Do you, sweetheart?”

“Yes, sir.” You nodded, feeling his fingers ghosting over your thighs. You shivered under the touch, wondering if he was possessed by his own sexual desire, or if it felt so good solely because of how much you loved him.

“Did you miss me, angel?”

“So badly,” you sighed, watching him with hearts dancing in your eyes. He let out a hum of approval, loving the sound of your shameless desperation. He reached down, placing his hand behind your knee, slow with his touch so he wouldn’t catch you off guard. You allowed him to guide your leg so your foot was resting on the cushion beside his thigh. He leaned forward, dusting kisses over the inside of your thigh, lost in the haze of desire that had quickly filled the room. He brought his hand to your cunt, letting his fingers run through you to get a better understanding of how much you wanted him. His jaw clenched at the pool of arousal, nearly insane from the thought of you being his and his alone. He trailed his finger to your clit, rubbing agonizingly slow circles as he watched your face. He was aching to see the look of pleasure, the one in which your eyebrows knotted together and your lips parted, shamelessly crazy for everything he was doing to you. Sometimes, it kept him alive even more than the most basic of things like food and water.

“Did she miss me, too?” He purred, looking up to you with the far-away smile that let you know he was no longer thinking about conversing with you. Even if you hated to admit it, you had grown to love it so deeply that it made your chest ache when you thought of it for too long.

“Why don’t you find out?” You asked, trying to focus on anything other than his rose tinted cheeks and glossy stare. As much as you wanted to, you knew you would never hold any real power in the bedroom with Jake. Or, perhaps you held all of it, and you would never know the difference.

“Talking back to me, angel?” He asked, adding more pressure with his fingers.

“Never, baby.” You breathed the lie so easily he could almost believe it was the truth. Almost being the keyword, but he missed you too much to punish you, and he didn’t have enough time to do so, anyway.

“Come here,” he muttered, making a move to guide your leg over his shoulder. A whine slipped through your lips before he ever put his mouth on you, deriving pleasure from the idea of his tongue alone. His eyes fluttered up to meet your face before he proceeded any further, amazed by the sound and intrigued by the cause. “You want me that bad, baby?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Your face tinted red with embarrassment, but he was having none of it. “Don’t be shy, sweetheart. I want to hear all of those filthy fucking noises.” The end of his sentence was resembling a growl; his excitement was nearly unbearable and he was unable to hide it from you.

“Please, Jake. I need you so fucking bad.” You pleaded, your fingers already knotted in his hair with anticipation for his next move. His eyes fluttered closed, the words settling in his soul and already beginning to heal the wounds he’d collected from the days events. He couldn’t wait any longer, too pent up after being without you for so long. He guided your hips forward to meet his mouth, his tongue immediately landing on the sensitive bud he’d been teasing just moments before. In lieu of any formalities, he slipped two fingers inside of you, making it a mission to bring you to a climax as quick as possible.

A sharp moan sounded through the room, making home in the foundation of the walls to leave a permanent reminder of what had happened behind the closed door. His fingers stayed at a steady pace, pumping into you in time with the movement of his tongue. You couldn’t help but tug at his hair, needing more than he could possibly ever give you. At least, you thought it would be impossible to give, but Jake always managed to find a way. Your eyes were screwed shut as you bit down on your tongue, hoping to stay as silent as possible so nobody would know what was happening inside the room. His tongue was still laced with unholy energy, You were certain of it. There was no human that could possibly hold so much power within such simple movements. He was sent from the devil to turn you evil, too, and you didn’t care. Even if he was corrupt, or if the touch was woven with hidden intent, you would succumb to the temptation every time. Jake as an entity was much too powerful to resist, and you would be okay with it even if it was death you were suffering at his hands.

Your breathing was labored, chest heaving in hopes of catching up on the air he was stealing directly from your lungs. A thin layer of sweat had already begun to form on your forehead, your body so willing to give in to him with so little persuasion. It was always like that with Jake; it seemed as though he never even had to try to turn you into a mess because you were willing to do it as soon as he walked into a room. A raspy cry tore through you, already feeling an orgasm creeping up on you. It had been so long that you were surprised it even took him this long to get you there. You thought maybe he was savouring the moment, because Jake had to the ability to make you come undone in seconds. No matter what it was, you couldn’t find the strength to complain about it. You were so grateful for anything he was willing to give you, even if he chose to deny you an orgasm for the entire night.

That strength was not within him, though, and he was just as desperate for your climax as you were. He sped his tongue, matching the pace with his fingers, hoping that with a little encouragement you would come undone right then and there. You swore under your breath, holding his head for support in fear that your legs would give out from under you. He hummed against you, showing his own pleasure from your enjoyment. You felt the knot tightening in your belly, the burn almost too intense to ignore. You wished to drag it out a little longer, but you couldn’t hold back. It was partially due to your need for a release, but mostly because you could not deny him of his wish. He asked so little of you that you felt guilty even thinking of refusing him anything did want.

“Fuck, Jake.” You let out a shaky breath, feeling your muscles tense and your walls clench around his fingers. He did nothing but continue working at you, keeping a steady pace and continuous movement. Your fingers tightened against the strands of his hair, keeping you grounded as the world started to spin. You couldn’t even manage another word before the orgasm washed over you with a ferocious intensity. He tightened his grip on you, making sure you would not stumble and fall to the ground. You managed his name through the waves of pleasure, singing it like a hymn. Jake was the god you prayed to and the devil you feared. He was the angels watching over you and the sins you committed. He was everything and anything all at once, and although it was confusing, it was euphoric to be in the company of someone so magnificent. You hoped that you would never have to see a lifetime without him.

He slowly pulled away from you, making sure you were steady before removing your leg from his shoulder. With a shaky hand, you loosened your grip on his hair and moved it to his shoulder, supporting yourself with his help. “How was that, angel?” He asked, looking up at you. Your orgasm was glistening on his chin, like a trophy of the vulgarity you two had just engaged in.

“It was so good, baby.” You sighed, already recovered and ready for more. He stood, hands never leaving you as he did so. He wasn’t willing to stop touching you because he had spent the entire day believing he would never get the chance again. He guided you towards the chair placed in front of the vanity mirror. He unbuttoned his pants, only pulling them down to his knees before sitting in the chair. He wasn’t a fan of the time crunch, yet he was grateful for it all the same. It allowed him to give in to the temptation of you without needing any further excuses. He was certain that if he had to wait any longer, he might die from the agony alone.

He spit into his hand, stroking himself for a moment before reaching out for you and guiding you towards him. With your back to him and your legs on either side of his, he lined himself up with your entrance. “Waited so long for this, beautiful. You have no idea how many times I thought about having you like this again.” He murmured, lips just hovering over your ear. You took the intiative and lowered yourself onto him, both of you hissing in pleasure at the feeling after going so long without it.

“Just like this?” You asked, slowly gyrating your hips. He let out a hum of agreement, too lost in the pleasure to verbally express his feelings. “Did you touch yourself while you thought of me, Jacob?” You pressed, tone growing more firm the longer you spoke. His eyes snapped open, shocked that such a question had come from your mouth. “Hmm?” There was a fire in his pupil, like you had ignited a part of him he never knew existed.

“I don’t remember you being such a whore,” he said the word so sweetly, like it was far from insulting. But, being a whore for Jake was nowhere near insulting, and you would proudly admit to it any day of the week.

“Maybe you bring out the worst in me.” You hummed, looking forward and into the mirror, watching his face intently as the pleasure began to take over. “You didn’t answer my question, baby.”

“I did,” he groaned, your slow pace pushing him to the brink of insanity. You could feel him throbbing inside of you, desperate for more but willing to take what you were offering just so he could be close to you. “Every fucking night.” His fingers were burning into your hip, brandishing it with marks that would turn purple within minutes. He slipped his hand to the front of you, letting his middle finger find your clit so he could continue his torment. “Did you think of me when you were touching yourself?” He asked, eyes flickering up to your reflection.

“All of the time,” you sighed, leaning your head back to rest on his shoulder. He brought his free hand to your face, grabbing your cheeks between his fingers and forcing you to look back at the mirror.

“Keep watching, angel. Don’t miss all of the fun.” He said, pulling your earlobe between his teeth. You felt a flutter in your stomach, a warning from your body that it was going to explode if he didn’t slow down. “See how pretty you look with my cock inside of you?” Your hips stuttered, thrown off course by the vulgarity of his statement. “Don’t you think so?”

“Y-yes, sir.” You whimpered, weak from the tone of voice he was using. It was filled with power, yet coddling you at the same time. It was intoxicating, and you were a complete fool for him, eager to stay drunk off of it forever.

“Fuck you feel good,” he hissed, turning his head inwards to place a kiss to your neck. “Could fuck you all day.”

“We have the rest of our lives.” You whispered, barely realizing the weight of your words until the movement in his hands stuttered. He smiled against you as if you had given him the most wonderful gift in the world.

“We have the rest of our lives,” he agreed, trailing kisses from your neck to your shoulder. He dropped his hand from your face, bringing it to your breast as he rolled your nipple between his fingers. You arched your back at the feeling, only allowing him to thrust in even deeper as you came back down on him. You let out a whine, the tip of his cock brushing against your cervix in a painful type of pleasure. He sped his fingers, knowing that as much as he wished to keep fucking you all night, he would need to leave soon. He felt you clench around him, your legs shaking as you tried to keep your pace steady. “Are you going to cum for me, sweet girl?” He muttered, eyes flickering up to watch the reflection. “Do you want to cum for me?”

“G-god yes,” you stuttered, holding on to his arm for extra support. He took in a long breath in attempt to calm himself, feeling dangerously close to the edge, too.

“Okay, baby. Want to watch you while you cum on my cock.” He encouraged, gaze focused on your face in the mirror. “Be a good girl for me.” He whispered, speeding his fingers ever so slightly. That was all you needed to come undone, head spinning with no real thoughts as your body vibrated against his hold. Your eyes were squeezed shut, his name stuck on your lips like it was the only thing you knew how to say. His jaw was clenched, knowing that he couldn’t hold on any longer, feral from the noises you were making for him. “That’s it,” he hummed, letting out a groan through gritted teeth.

When you started to relax against him, he took his window of opportunity and brought both of his hands to your hips. He pulled you down on him, forceful and loving all at the same time. You let out a yelp, all of your nerves still tingling with the ghost of pleasure. You leaned forward, grabbing on to the edge of the table to hold yourself steady while he fucked into you. It only took him a few moments to catch up, his orgasm long overdue and just as intense as your own. He spilled into you, muttering curses as he fucked his own release back into you. After a moment, he tapered his movements to a halt. You both sat there together for a moment, breathless and scared to move in fear of ruining the moment.

Eventually, he carefully stood, moving his hand to catch any potential mess as he pulled out of you. You sighed, disappointed at the loss of contact once he was fully parted from you. “Come on, let’s get cleaned up.” He said, motioning his head towards the bathroom.

“Yeah, okay.” You breathed, following after him to erase any evidence of the sinful activities you had engaged in. Once you finished, you searched your room for the clothes you had arrived in that morning, finding them in a pile on the floor. You slipped on the sweatpants and the t-shirt, a smile permanently stuck on your lips as you turned to face him.

“What are you smiling about?” He said, teasing you while knowing he had the same one on his own face.

“You,”

“Me, too.” He said, taking a step towards you. “I love you so much, y/n.” He mumbled, taking your face between his hands.

“I love you, Jake.” You said, wrapping your arms around him to pull him into a hug. He did the same, holding you just as tight.

“So, uh, maybe I should have asked sooner…” he started, pulling back so he could look down at your face. You watched him, wondering what could possibly be floating around in his brain. “Would you… would you like to be my girlfriend, maybe?” You laughed at his nervous stature, feeling a blush spread across your cheeks to match his own.

“I would love nothing more, Jacob.” You giggled, elated at the childish glee that overwhelmed his expression. He leaned down, placing a small kiss on your lips. Just as he did so, a knock sounded on your door. “Showtime,” You chucked.

“Showtime,” he agreed, hesitant to let you go, almost as if he was scared you wouldn’t be here once he got off stage.

“Go, I’ll be waiting for you right here when you’re done.” You said, urging him to listen to Aaron’s instruction. He nodded, leaning down and placing another short-lived kiss on your lips.

“Okay,” he sighed, moving away and towards the door. Just as he opened it, he looked back at you for a moment. “Thank you for sharing your secrets with me, Gold Dust Woman. They were far better than I ever imagined.” You laughed at his words, feeling the happy tears begging to make another appearance.

“It was a pleasure sharing them with you, Jake. Now go on, you’re going to do great tonight.” You shooed him away.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” You replied, blowing him a kiss. His eyes sparkled with adoration as he reached out, pretending to catch it. He then proceeded to pretend to shove it in his pocket before turning away.

“That’s my good luck charm.” He said, but he was gone before you could reply.

Slowly, you made your way towards the door and out into the hallway. Dylan was sitting on the side stage, looking back at your room with a hopeful expression. You gave her a nod and a thumbs up, barely able to contain your glee. She grinned, ecstatic at the news and already wanting to know all about it. You approached her, standing by her side as you looked out at the stage. She was caught up in Danny, who was sitting eagerly behind his drums, and you were caught up in Jake, who was already strumming away at his guitar. Even Sam, who was across the stage, had a smile on his face, knowing that he would be alright. The world seemed okay, and that was something you were eternally grateful for. You never pictured things turning out so perfectly, but even the most brutal of storms left a rainbow shining brightly in the sky.

You wrapped an arm around Dylan, your chest finally free from the aching pain that had been ravishing it for weeks. As you watched Jake, you knew that there was no doubt in your decision to love him. There was something eternal about the two of you, like when the oceans meet the rivers, and when the river meets the sand, leading you all across the earth until you find water once more. It was similar to how the day turned into dusk, only for the midnight skies to turn blue once again. An endless cycle that was the only permanent comfort in life. You could love Jake in every lifetime and never grow tired of it, and at the very end, you would still feel like you could love him even more than you already had. You would share every secret and untold story, and hope to make every memory and experience with him as beautiful as humanly possible. He was your lesson, the one you had been dreading for so long, but you were so grateful that you opened your mind for long enough to learn it.

He was your forever, and you were his Gold Dust Woman, just like it was always meant to be.

GOLD DUST WOMAN

TAGLIST: @itsdannysworld @gretavansara @jaketlove @laneygvf @freefallthoughts @psychedelicsprinkles @idontwannabeherenow @joshysgirl @sanguinebats @objectsinspvce @klarxtr @sinarainbows @jakesmustache @gvfpal @hellowgoodbye @profitofthedune

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

as long as you love me so, let it snow

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

Summary : you never engage easily into any social gatherings, you're very quiet until Eddie came

Word Count : I apologize for not eyeballing the count 😭

Warnings : 18+ Rockstar!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, reader and Eddie are both (20), jealous!reader, unrequited feelings, idiots in love, no use of y/n, reader is insecure at some points, modern setting, Eddie is very friendly and sweet and that alone can be shocker to reader! not in a bad way she's just not used to it, reader is not easy to form a bond at first since she's too serious and Eddie is very patient with her! 😭💖 (omg- I seriously need him- no joke)

What to Expect : strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff, a bit of angst, come on, you guys it's Christmas I'm treating you very dearly with loads of content 😚

Note To Reader : I just came up with this idea that reader is usually reserved until Eddie like a switch that finally someone light up her world! 🥹🫶🏻

Author Note : I really hope that y'all gonna love the Christmas specials that I'm putting up before 2023 ends (I'm so active- like?!? WHO AM I?!?)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!! 🎄☃️❄️💓✨

You don't usually get so excited when it's the holidays

But, you do enjoy, seeing everyone and having your stomach full from all of the feast

You're just not in the mood to interact since your social battery? can drain easily, you can't keep up that long, sometimes

Sure, you do have friends around that is genuinely do care for you and always be there for you

You're really just not an energetic person

That is until..... He came

You became friends with Nancy at the University and still- you're being in denial that you found yourself a friend

Nancy invited you over to Hawkins to spend your Christmas with them- you're very hesitant at first but you give it a try

The fact you thought you'll messed it all up because you're so nervous to meet her friends and family for the first time

It's your second time here and you just really don't understand why you feel looking forward about this, again

It's a new feeling and it's so foreign

You're leaning standing on the side of the room while watching the snowflakes fall outside

The kids are bickering each other over something and a year later you're still amused observing them

"What do you suggest that we should do?" Dustin sighs in exasperation as he holds his list of Christmas activities on his hand

He taps his pen below his chin as he couldn't taken a hold of his impatience towards his friend

He groans in frustration "Make up your mind!-"

"We should do a movie marathon- we haven't done that yet!" Max spoke up before she could hear Dustin's banter

"That's- impossible- our schedule is clearly tight! No one can attend since all of us are not available!"

"All of us?!? You haven't asked anyone yet!"

"You don't believe me?!? I'm not wrong about this, Max" Dustin throw his hands up in surrender

Max nods as she raises her eyebrows and crossing both of her arms at the same time as she jerks her head towards everyone else in the room gesturing to ask about the plan

Dustin shakes his head at her as he goes out to ask anyone

To his surprise, she's right

Max smirks at him when you're the only one left

"My god- your plan still sucks, Max" he mumbles to himself, he winces when realized he said it in his outside voice

"Could you think for a better activity?" Max replies in a sassiest way as she watches him walking towards you

"Your films choices are awful" Dustin said without looking back at her but she can see the disgust look from his face

"Hey, Top Gun is not awful!" Max shouted as she rolls his eyes at him

"Hi"

You look back at the kid in front of you, nervously clasps his hands together

"What up?" You manage to form a small smile as you bring your body forward to face him properly

He raises his eyebrows, of course- he knows that you're not into small talk but to all of young kids in the group?

You're still cool to them

Why? You seriously have no idea why someone like you and even use you as a role model

Maybe, they love you because you're very authentic and real

Yes, you being the silent one but also you're the most protective and strongest person of them all

They admire everything about you and you never ever understood it why

All you can say is that you're just so very grateful to have them in your life

So grateful

"Uh, are you game for a movie marathon with us? everyone is invited"

You nod and think about it for a moment until you can finally muster to say something back

"When?"

"This coming Saturday"

You nod again and there's your same old dialog

"Is he coming tho?"

"Who?"

"Eddie"

"Y-Yeah- I haven't asked him about it yet since he's not here and I'm sure, he'll be there"

"I'll go, why not- I'm not doing anything on that day, so...." you shrug smile at him

"Great!" The boy shows his pearls and the grin grows even more wide when he looked at over your shoulder

And the man in question is coming in to put his arms around you before you can even follow the kid's gaze- you melt within his touch

"What's happening?" He asks as he turns his head at you and Dustin

"Movie Marathon, this Saturday" you fill him in

"Ooh" he beams in interest "I am so in!"

Dustin hops lightly on the floor as he gives both of you a thumbs up as he goes back to Max who smiles so smugly at him now

"What are you doing by the window?"

You scratch your head "Watching the snow? I'm just bored- I guess" you slumped your shoulders

"Aww- just say it that you missed me" he pulls you by his side and you roll your eyes playfully

You know what he's doing, he wants you to laugh and he never fails by attempting to do so

But in fact- you really do miss him

Just too afraid to admit your feelings too vulnerable

Eddie continues to tease as you finally tug up a smile at him

"Ah yes finally there's my girl!"

You giggle as you poke his side by using your elbow as he laughs as well

"Look what I found at the store"

He surprises you by a gift, it's a small cute white teddy bear with red bow on the neck and your eyes flashes in astonishment

"Eddie- you did not-" you hold the teddy bear as he can see the joy glint on your eyes

Your gaze softens at him "Thank you"

"Don't mention it, sweets" he says as leans down to kiss on top of your head

"I am happy to see you happy" he adds and that makes your heart swell even more

You're absolutely not falling for him, are you?

"I'll be back for dinner, Nance" you announced as you check yourself in the mirror

"Going out with Eddie, again?"

"Yeah, why?" You asked her in the reflection

A mischief on her eyes, you can't miss it

She leans on her side on the wall as she watches you adding a lip and cheek tint

"Nothing, it's just that you look cute together"

You slowly turn to look at her with a look that says "Seriously?"

"I'm serious! I mean- ever since I bought you here- you two- just I don't even know how it happened- you both clicked!" She exclaims as she scoffed at you while shaking your head as you dismissive a hand at her

"And ever since then- it's obvious to everyone that if someone else sees you both- you both looked like in a relationship" she added as she waits for your reaction

"I'm sure that his only true intentions are being with friends with me, nothing more than that" you say as you put your makeup back in your shoulder bag

"Keep telling that to yourself and just watch it become real right before your very eyes" she argues with you as she takes a deep breath before continuing

"For example- you said in the first place that I ain't gonna be your bestfriend and look what happened"

She has a damn point

Seeing her smiling to herself at the back of your head knowing fucking damn well that she is indeed right to her guts

You roll your eyes at her as you open the door

"Bye, Nance" you bid goodbye with a snarky tone

She only chuckles at your ignorance as she waves at you

Eddie is always have been so caring for you

He did all of this for you

When he can do something else or choose someone else to hang out with

Instead, he always chose to be with you

Why is that?

In your friendship, Eddie is the loudest and talkative and he really doesn't mind if you don't talk a lot like him and he just admires you for being a good listener

You don't even know of how a good friend you are like you just need to know that you are

You made him realized a lot of things that he did last year when he could cut off some people

When he should've done it ages ago

You're the one that pushed him to do it and to not be scared to do it for his own well-being

You're there when he's having a hard time to move on- you even comforted him that is okay to feel this way and it's completely normal

You're an amazing person in his eyes

You made him feel that he's worthy and lovable and his mission is to make you feel that way too

You listen to him with a smile on your face, you can't fight it off everytime you spend time with him

His always animated when it comes to storytelling and it's really entertaining to watch him gush over the things that you could relate to

You're taking a big step because you're obviously not being honest with your feelings so....

"Eddie- wait a second" you interrupt him at his mid-sentence

He stops as he clears his throat, he immediately rests his hand on top of yours as you look down smiling at it

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to ask"

"Sure, go ahead"

You look through his eyes and by that you knew, you knew you could say anything to him without judgement behind it

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Being so nice to me, I mean- sometimes I get confused like I don't know if it's just your personality for being this sweet or you do this with anyone"

"I like you" he says plainly with a cheeky smile that shows his dimples

You flustered at his reply "W-What?"

"I just like you- don't get me wrong- I love all of my buddies out there but whenever I'm with you- I feel complete"

"But I'm not that outgoing person"

"What do you mean?"

"What I'm saying is that don't you get tired of me? Or like get bored hanging out with me?"

"Why would I think something like that? Do you think I thought about something like that?"

You blink and your duck your head down shyly as you shook your head

You curse your negative thoughts inside your head literally ruining the beautiful moment that you're having right now

You tried your best not to think of them too long, wishing for all of it to just go away

"Listen" he leans forward to hold both of your hands

You raise your head slowly, too nervous to see the anger in his eyes but you saw nothing

Just pure understanding and compassion

Your heart skips a beat at the sight of it

"I like you for being who you are and I even more love it when we both have the same qualities like you don't give a fuck about anyone else" he exaggerates his words that you always liked and that earns a small chuckle from you and he smiles at it

"You helped me and I'll be doing the same thing with you like you have no idea- how much you mean to me and I just wanna say thank you for everything" he says with so much love on his words like you can't trace anything that is half-hearted

Every part and every word he said comes straight from his heart

He just cannot do that to you and say something like that

The feeling is really feeling, you're knocking off every tendency not to kiss him on the spot

"But I feel so bad for you like I think I'm extra hella mean to you at the first meeting"

Yeah, you're right, he knows that- hell- he even remembers everything on your first encounter together

You always have your guard up and despite your feisty and always looked so intimidating

That didn't made Eddie stop for being friends with you, like he's even the one who approached you, he is willing to do anything and so eager to be in your life

You don't stopped him

You didn't even try to push him away

You don't threaten him to go away

It's because you liked his company

You liked how he is so patient with you

You thought giving him the lousy replies and statements will make him leave but he didn't

He stayed

He is so glad that he did because he gotten the first belly genuine laughs, the first excitement from your eyes, the first cute and adorable reactions at you

As if he can read your mind "Does that stop me from being your friend?"

"No"

"Exactly"

You chuckled slightly "I just don't understand why out of all the people you chose to be friends with me"

"You don't believe that you can have a cool metalhead bestfriend like me?" He says cockily with a lazy smile on his face that made you throw fries at him

He blocked it as he blows raspberry at you "Aha! You missed!"

You chuckled as you pinch his cheeks "Gotta go at the restroom but I'm not done with you yet" you point at him

As he pretends to be petrified at you "Ooh- look at me! I'm getting killed!"

You laugh as you shake your head at him

You check yourself once more at the mirror

You swore to yourself that you're gonna tell him this time around

You gotta admit it

You inhale and exhale as you walk out of the restroom

The smile on your face falls as it lands on the girl that he's talking to

He looks.... glad?

Oh- so this is what it feels to be jealous

You feel nauseous on the scene that happening right now

The girl who is talking to him is so

You saw Eddie dismissing his hand at her as if telling her to keep the conversation short but the girl just won't let it drop as she continues to babble

You know Eddie, he is just too polite to just say "fucking shut up and leave me alone"

You feel so annoyed and also angry at the same time

You reached over at the hem of your purple dress as you crunch it down not caring if it makes a crinkle out of the fabric

You missed the fact that Eddie is now brand new upcoming artist and this is the only beginning of his career

You huffed when she finally leaves

Eddie lights up that you came back on your seat across from him but only to find the hot raging fire that is on your eyes

He doesn't even know where it is coming from

He has never seen you this angry

If you try to look at him, he swear that your looks could kill any person in the room right now

You look intimidating in your usual resting face but with a mad emotion forming up?

This is the only time that he really felt intimidated

"Is everything okay?" Trying to look at your fiery eyes, he is confused, of course- he keeps rethinking everything that made you mad

"Yeah, I'm good" you say unenthusiastically as you finish your milkshake

By the tone of your voice, suddenly the room felt too hard to breathe because you still haven't looked at him just yet because he knows you're avoiding it

He swallows as he chews quietly on his burger

The ride home was like a screeching metal sound that is begging to be stopped

It's so ridiculously quiet

You're giving him the silent treatment?

He is appalled, appalled in a way that this is how you really get upset

He's gonna remember this, so he it won't happen again

Hopefully, never again

And that was it- that was the night

You didn't say goodbye or didn't say anything after that

When Nancy saw you with the look- she knows that you needed to be alone

"What's with her?"

"Huh?"

Lucas nudges his chin towards you as he waits for Mike reply

Your usual resting face looks even more colder than before

You sitting alone in a couch, arms crossed, as you pretend to watch on whatever the TV is playing

Mike glances at you and he felt a dagger stabs through his heart when he saw your face

"Maybe, it has something to do with-"

"Eddie"

Lucas and Mike looked back at each other with raised eyebrows as they run out and look for their dungeon master

The boys knew, of course- how much he feels for you, so, they're gonna help cause' that's what real friends do

"You have to fix it" Lucas blurted it out

"What?"

Eddie is talking to Jeff and Gareth, when the two young boys interrupt their conversation

"You have to make amends with her!" Mike points at you

Eddie follows the kid's direction as he blinks rapidly and gulped

"Nah- Uh- I can't"

"Why?"

"Because- fuck- you know how she's like when she's like that?!?"

"But you have to-"

"Don't worry about it, fellas- he's already concocting a solution" Gareth speaks as he throws a wink

"He's actually talking about her with us" Jeff snickers as he watches Eddie stresses

Eddie only grumbles in response when his bandmates exposed the conversation earlier

"The look on your face is not appealing for this time of the year"

The familiar voice behind you spoke as you throw your head back at the soft surface

"Hey" you say with literally 0% energy

Robin sits beside you as she takes a good look at you

"My, My, My, I can see it- jealousy, clear as day" she gestures at your face as you scoff

She only smirks "What's going on inside your mind, huh?"

"I just saw him talking to another girl yesterday" you sneered as you clenched your jaw

She clicks her tongue as she brings herself closer to you

You furrow your brows as you watch her lean forward

The scariest thing with Robin is that she can read your fucking mind

"If you're thinking about Eddie hanging out with other girls" she clears her throat and straighten herself up

As if she prepares for an ultimate speech

"Well, for your information, sweet pea- is that he never does that to anyone, he only does that to you!" She punctuates every word she said with a finger pointing at you

Still, you won't let her see your surprised expression, you try to mask it

You tilt your head at her as you laugh in disbelief

"Please be fucking for real, Robin?"

She chuckles at your stubbornness "Girl- If you're weren't present right now, he won't attend and he won't be here if it wasn't for you"

You went silent on that because Robin is making sense

A lot of sense

"Eddie is never the one to show up in these events but when you came around- he's always here"

Robin added a lot more sizzle on the stove that made the fire inside of you grows larger

You remember that

It was so late that night but Eddie came last minute because Nancy mentioned about you staying and spending the holidays with them

You're aware that she always talks about you

That's why he's so excited to meet you in the first place

Robin smiles like a freaking Cheshire cat when she successfully made your brain go right where it belongs

Your eyes might hurt for eyerolling too much as you get up and headed towards to-

Obviously, Eddie

Robin giggles as she says "Glad to be a part of your service!"

You saw Eddie yelling over to his friends and bandmates as they stopped talking when they saw you

He knits his brows as they watch all of them go running away one by one

When he turns around, he sighs nervously

"I just wanna apolog-"

"I'm sorry"

Both of you talked over to each other as you both stare and he wants to laugh at how ridiculous this is

"I appreciate everything, you've done for me- Eddie- and I apologize for my behavior last night"

"No- it's okay-" he stopped at what he's supposed to do when

His idiotic mind finally catches up at the thing that annoyed you last night

"Oh- is that girl!"

You frown at him "Look- you don't have to bring it up-'" you sigh in defeat

"You know what- this is bullshit- I'm outta here" you walk away but he tails at you

"You can't"

"Why?!?"

"it's blizzard out there!"

You glance the window outside, it's a damn snowstorm- alright

"I'm gonna find my way out of here"

"What?! why do you want to do that?!"

"To stay the hell away at you"

He laughs darkly as he jogs over your path to block you- you crossed both of your arms

"That girl yesterday was one of the bullies that made my life, the hardest, I didn't gave her the satisfaction that just because I'm getting better at my career, I won't forget the things she do to me before"

The crease in your forehead flattens as you look at him directly

"So, you don't have to be jealous over something that isn't necessary" he finishes with that

Oh, he is speaking the truth and that makes even feel more worst than ever

Not a single fucking thing that says "dishonest" on his eyes

HE IS THE IDEAL MAN

"Guess what? Eddie- that won't convince me!" You sarcastically replied with a fake smile as you move over aside to walk out of him

He knows this wouldn't be easy, he smiles down and he's amused at this

He shook his head as he spoke again

"You missed my hint"

You halt your tracks as you look back at him

"Missed what?!?" annoyance setting in your tone

He walks towards at you with a smirk laying on his face

"I gave you a hint yesterday and you missed it"

You squint your eyes at him as you try to remember the things that he said to you

Oh

The simmering anger inside of you that almost bubbled into the boiling point has died down when it finally hit you

"I like you" his voice echoes to your mind

When you look back at him, he smiles wildly as he moves closer to you

He puts your wispy bangs on the side as he can see it hurting your eyes

Your gaze softens as he whispers "You're so pretty"

And out of the blue, there goes his antics, he goes down on his knees

"I would seriously die for you!" He shouts out loud earning an attention to some of your friends

You laugh as you try to help him get up but he won't budge

"I will worship you every single day until I die!"

Steve appears in the corner as he announces

"The Grinch is about to start y'all gonna miss it!"

You and Eddie giggle as he finally back up to his feet

Both of you get what you want to chomp down while watching the film

He gave you, your favorite, the buttered popcorn

You blushed as you about to take it he pulled you as he kisses your cheek that alone made you let out a small gasp and he smirks

Causing you to flip him off as he laughs

While heading at the living room both of you started teasing at each other

"if you left you won't be getting that popcorn"

"Yeah, yeah, you won- stop gloating already"

"You love me, don't you?"

"Shut up"

"You love meeee"

"I do"

He's like a goddamn kid, hopping like a toddler as he pulls you to his side, you look at him with a glowing smile

Unbeknownst to the both of you, Jeff, Gareth, Mike, Lucas, Dustin, Robin and even Steve both shared high-fives together when both of you finally get together at last

❄️❄️💗💗

[sukirichi]

hi! i have some thoughts about your dusk til dawn series

HOLY SHIT? I BINGEREAD THAT IN LIKE 3 DAYS (and on two of those days I had work so I sacrificed my sleep schedule for this but it was sO GOOD? SO GOOD. I enjoyed it immensely)

ohmygodohmygodohmygod she's PREGNANT and it's RIN'S? or I saw a theory that she used Kiyoomi's used condom or something but IF IT'S RIN'S rahHHHGHGHGH reader deserves happiness

i love how you characterize Tobio as a wee lad because he IS a wee lad and I wish nothing more than to hug him and tell him everything is going to be okay ahhahahah

your writing is delicious. simply scrumptious. your descriptions are so good too i love how you describe places so much

i wasn't a suna rintaro fan til i read this series and i'm torn between kiyoomi x yn endgame or suna x yn endgame and watch it end up being a crazy endgame. like. imagine if the endgame was yn x maiko or something that'd be crazy

also ... why is tooru so nice to maiko alluvasudden ... what happened ... i have no theories my brain is empty but oh my gosh i am so excited to See More your writing makes my brain go BRRRR

hi omg i saw your comments on my fics too and let me tell you, i’m so happy to read everything you said so thank you so much 🥹💓

omg you bingeread it, that’s actually !! i have no words HAHAHA every time someone tells me they binge read dtd, i always get shocked because its a little hard to believe that people could enjoy it that much but its such a huge compliment for me that you guys take the time, you have no idea 🥹💓 also yes it is rin’s !! lmaoo its not out of character of iris to use someone’s condom (😭) but kiyoomi is my favorite in dtd so there’s no way i could write that happening for my man 😭

also thank you !! honestly i was a bit hesitant writing tobio with the way he is because he’s alr 20 years old and i thought he might be . . . idk, immature? but he is very innocent so... yeah, he’s just a wee lad indeed 🥹 and aww thank you again, hearing someone say i write places good is so validating because its one of my weaknesses 😭 not good at all making places sound poetic but i loveee loveee tying environments to one’s feelings so i really have to stare really hard at places and read poems to form ideas in my head on how i can word it sksksks. ANDD AWW welcome to the rintaro train! honestly i wish i could do more justice for him because canon rin is such a cutie but maybe in the future i’ll make him more loveable in upcmoming works hopefully 🫶🏻 and again THANK YOU SO MUCH you are so sweet and you’ve made my day so i hope you are having an even better timezone 💫🌷

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

I have a request and you can say no, but what about one where Eddie and Reader are in a relationship, Wayne is so eager to have her over there because she’s so good to Eddie, one day, Eddie walks in to the trailer and tells Wayne he caught you hugging another guy. He was never jealous like this before, but he’d never seen this guy before, when you went to the trailer later, Wayne informs you Eddie saw. You tried to explain, but they don’t care to hear it, eventually you bring the guy over and explain it’s your cousin, he’s visiting from another state and you were excited to see him, so he came to see you at school. Very angsty, but make the ending fluffy? Thank you 💖🫶🏻

Hope you enjoy anon :)

💞

The door slammed shut and he could hear his nephew cursing under his breath. One look at Eddie's face and the sorrow in his big brown eyes worried Wayne.

What the hell had happened?

"You okay son?" he asks him and Eddie looks at him, chokes up, and swears as tears pool in his eyes.

"I just... I saw yn with this guy and she was hugging him and laughing and I've never seen him before, they looked really close"

Wayne is stunned for a moment because this? This he didn't expect, especially not from Eddie's girl, Eddie loved her, she loved him and Wayne adored her.

She was so good to his nephew and he thinks there must be some sort of innocent explanation but Eddie is hurting real bad right now and his priority is always his nephew.

"I've never been jealous like this before uncle Wayne but I love her so much and I don't know who the hell this guy is"

Wayne claps him on the shoulder and pulls him in for a hug.

"It's okay son, everything is going to be okay"

💞

She was so excited to see Eddie, she hadnt seen him since yesterday and he didn't answer her calls yesterday which was weird and now she was a little worried that he was sick or something.

So she made him some soup and hoped that and lots of cuddles would help him feel better.

When she knocks on the door Eddie answers, his eyes are red and she gasps.

"Eddie babe, are you okay? Are you sick? I brought soup" she reaches out to touch his cheek but he backs away and she retreats stung by his actions.

"Eddie?" what the hell was going on?

He glares at her.

"Don't Eddie me! I saw you with the dude yesterday! How close you two were. I've never seen this guy in my life but he's suddenly at your side all cuddly and laughing with you"

Oh God, he saw Theo who was her cousin and was in town for a few days.

"Oh, baby no it's not... he's not...' Eddie swallows and looks away from her.

"I don't want to hear it. I don't care if he's a friend it's the fact you never even said anything to me in the first place. I had no clue this guy even existed" he looks so despondent and her heart sink.

Wayne appears at the door and looks at her kindly but with a hint of steel.

"Honey, you should go. I don't think Eddie is in the frame of mind to talk to you right now" she opens her mouth to protest but doesn't. The last thing she wants to do is argue with Wayne.

"Okay," she replies quietly and when the door shuts tears roll down her cheeks at the fact he didn't even let her explain herself.

💞💞

Eddie blasts his music loud so he doesn't have to hear his own thoughts which a jumbled mess.

He should have let yn explain but he is too hurt right now to listen to her.

It isn't until he hears a knock on the front door and Wayne answers that he hears yn's name mentioned.

When he goes out she is in the kitchen with uncle Wayne and whoever this guy is. Why did she bring him here!

Uncle Wayne asks this very question looking angry.

"What in the hell is going on? I don't think bringing the guy you were flirting with is going to help things here honey"

The dude bursts out laughing and Eddie feels rage build-up inside him.

"Me flirt with her? You must be joking, ew" Eddie's temper frays then snaps.

"What the fuck do you mean by that! She's a goddess you dick!"

Yn sighs and gives him an affectionate glance, kissing his cheek and gently rubbing his shoulder which calms him, and points to the guy who waves looking extremely awkward.

"This is my cousin Theo, he is visiting with my aunt for a couple of weeks and we haven't seen each other in a long time. That's why you don't know who he is Eddie or have never met him"

Eddie gapes then his heart sinks as he realized he had been a grade A dumbass.

Wayne looks at yn apologetically.

"I'm sorry honey I should have let you explain. I was just thinking of protecting my boy" she smiles and goes over to hug Wayne.

"That's okay. I can understand that Wayne as you were just protecting your nephew but what I don't understand and what hurts me is you Eddie'

'You didn't give me a chance to explain myself and immediately assume the worst and that I would hurt you. I would never do that"

He swallows and doesn't know what to say, he shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and reacted the way he did.

"I'm sorry princess. I should have let you explain. I just got in my head, got all stupid and jealous" she softens a bit.

"You're not stupid baby," she tells him and kisses him tenderly and he appreciates her being so sweet but he does feel a bit like an idiot and apologizes profusely to her and her cousin.

"It's okay babe, I should have said so I am at fault here too, just promise me next time you will actually talk to me yeah?" he nods eagerly and kisses her forehead.

💞💞

[osarina]

Fyo, here I am again ^^!!!

listen, I have read the dazai valentine fic and honestly? I LOOOOOVE it like I literally felt like sobbing at the end 🥹🥹 despite all the things Osamu has endured in his life, he is so human, like in a way his thoughts, worries and dreams of proposing to his s/o sound so real [does this make sense? I really hope it does >.<] and even though his plans went down the drain AND the sudden proposal was from his perspective wayy too sloppy, you could genuinely feel the love pouring out of him which again show his devotion :( 🩷

[and the Fyodor fluff UGHHHHHHH I love this anemic little rat, I could lay for hours and caress his hair and smooch the top of his head]

last but not least: Im very excited and hyped up for the mini series with beast! dazai 👀👀 gonna definitely be here on 1st n 5th!!!! 🫶🏻

TUMBLR USER MIOBLOBBY WELCOME BACK I AM SO HAPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN <3333

omg fun fact about that dazai valentine fic -- i ended up panicking two days before valentines day because i had nothing to post for it, and word vomitted the whole fic in like twelve hours HAHAH it's the fastest i've ever wrote a fic that long out of sheer panic. BUT I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH IT I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT TOO he's so cute and messy and he's such a loser and he's SO human despite how much he believes otherwise, i love him so much, i always get a bit worried writing for him, especially from his point of view, ust from how complex he is but he'll always still be my favorite character to write i still have so much stuff to post for him that i have hoarded

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE TWO MINI SERIES !!!! ive genuinely been itching to start posting this for a while now but i didnt want to start posting until i had the majority of side b done so you guys aren't waiting like months and weeks between chapters, but i finallyyyy hit the halfway point of side b last week so i jumped to start posting side a HAHA

[dearreader]

I agree it's too early for rep TV, but her dancers are posting black hearts everywhere

And also... I was in the crowd on Nov 12th. I'm the "eldest" swiftie I know, so everyone I talked to (I'm talking about friends/acquaintances) and gave my opinion on the Nov 10th theory wasn't really happy with what I had to say, but I never believed she would announce it that day. Everyone really hoped she would (even really "new" fans)

The feeling I got from that is that we just want to be a part of things. We wanna be a part of the rerecording history. She's touring latam for the first time, and chances are she won't come back (for reasons I can describe if needed). She'll do Mexico again, but it's unlikely she'll do Argentina/Brazil again. And we all know that. We just want announcement like the US got (twice), and like Asia will probably get and Europe too.

I understand the whole conversation about demanding too much too often from her. I really do and I think it's a very valid point and something to be discussed. I miss when there were less of us and more interested in her actual music. But please understand we don't mean harm. We never got tour dates before this, we don't get merch (shipping is crazy expensive and they let you buy one of each only so you can't even pool in money with friends to share shipping costs), and we just wanna feel like we're part of her story too.

I know you haven't said anything but I needed to put this opinion out there and maybe someone will read it and understand what's going on.

Thank you for reading 🩵

hi, thank you for sharing.

i do understand all of this, i really do, and im going to try phrasing this in a way so i don’t come off rude.

i understand that you want to be apart of re-recording history but i still think latam is apart of it (correct me if i’m wrong). but you guys got to be there when 1989TV dropped and also so many other fun moments (like chiefs on the screen). and i can’t speak on taylor returning to latam because i’m not from there and don’t want to step over the line (and i don’t think it has anything to do with the whole T4F fiasco since that was the stadiums fault and taylor wouldn’t blame brazil on that). but a majority of the people i’m seeing turn out the theories are swifties from the states who are counting her steps in the reputation set and using math to prove reputation is next. if she did announce reputation tonight i’d 100% eat my words and be excited about it as i love reputation. but i still think at the end of the day it’s an INSANE thing to ask of taylor to announce another album. we ready got two this year, one last year, a whole concert movie, and so much more. and even before midnights i saw people complaining that we hadn’t gotten any new taylor announcements and how was anyone supposed to go on if we didn’t get one (when we had gotten two surprise albums not even a year ago).

again i get what you’re saying and do not want to come off as rude or mean in anyway. being a city that she announced something that big at is a thing to remember, but i don’t think it’s right to ask her to keep announcing and releasing stuff just to make a moment and be remembered. she’s literally just a person at the end of the day and she’s still doing everything to make this a memorable concert experience for everyone there. just because latam may not get a re-recording announcement doesn’t mean it’s not anyway less apart of the history of the re-recordings like any other place.

again, thank you for sharing your opinion and telling me this as it did give me a different view on this. but i don’t think she’ll announce it tonight as it’s still crazy close to 1989tv and she’s allowed to let her projects breathe.

i hope you have a good night 🫶🏻

[crucifiedfaerie]

HOWDY!!!!!🤠

I hope you are having the most amazing day/night (it’s 12:30am right now for me, whoopsies)

I saw your post about stan accounts who follow you and I’m gonna be totally honest, totally might be me (I’m a new follower because I have re-entered my Adam Driver is a refrigerator I would like to climb and open)! But I will say, I try to stay away from the actual celeb(s) and their die hard stans because they are, put lightly, CRAY CRAY!!!! Like a literal war zone sometimes. I admire their hot-ness and their fictional characters’ bangability from a distance of the celeb/rpf!

Anywho, I have only been following for a little, but I want you to know that I LOVE YOUR BEN SOLO WRITING!!! Especially nicotine stains, I love me a modern au and yours is simply delicious!!!

Like so good I might shit myself from excitement when pt 2 comes out!!!!!!!! And I mean that in a good way!!!!

Any way, this has gone on way too long. Have a great day!!! I hope it is as amazing as you are!!!!

🫀🫀🙇‍♀️

omg its all good! i was half joking anyways i really dont care who or what ppl enjoy, im just personally not a [redacted] supporter ! at the end of the day we're all just freaks on the internet trying to have fun.

i totally agree w you though there's certain fanbases who take shit way too far... some more than others but i feel like it can be found in every fandom to a certain degree. there are even icky adam fans out there that i try to steer clear of. like ppl who slander his wife, that shit is so not cool. i love him and thirst after him as much as the next fan but like man :( hes a human being and shes a human being and they love each other and have kids... theres a certain line that should not be crossed. ppl tend to forget that celebrities are real people with feelings.

and aaaaa omg thank you!! it makes me so happy to hear that ppl genuinely enjoy my silly little stories about my emo little guy <3 nicotine stains has got to be my fav so far as well, its literally so fun to write and delinquent!kylo just fills my heart with so much joy. its also nice to not write something so heavy and dark every now and then for a change. kylo ren fanfiction in general tends to always be super sad and sometimes i just wanna see my emo space bf be happy for once lmao.

and girl- me too honestly. im currently writing pt 2 and im making even myself giggle and kick my feet so im super excited to finally put it out... its very overdue bc ive been distracted by a bunch of stuff. (the bunch of stuff in question being a 59 chapter ao3 fic lmao) but if youd like to be added to the taglist so you can be notified when its out, you can always pm me !!!

i hope you have a lovely night/morning as well (its 1am for me lol) and thank you sm again for your kind words on my work, it truly means the most 🫶🏻

[messrmoonyy]

Hello! So... I just finished reading your latest Tess fic and all I can say is WOOOOOWWWWW, I am shocked to the core. This was the best thing I have read in a while, I swear. Like always you did an amazing job! The angst hurt me so good🤧🤧🤧

I first want to thank you because you didn't write the part when the reader and Tess will eventually say goodbye to each other and that helps me a lot because I can imagine that something happend and they somehow stayed together, living happily ever after 🤧😭😭😭

Second I want to tell you how much I loved that we got to see Tess' perspective along the story. I loved seeing her start to realize how she slowly falls for the reader, but she kept denying it until the last moment when she finally gave in. I really loved how she would call the reader "sweetheart" (that made me feel things, it was so cute), trying to calm her down, hugging her, protecting her from that Marcus creep and still be like "yeah, I totally haven't fallen for her" MISS MA'AM YOU DID And I am obssessed with how you write Tess cause I found myself giggling and blushing. She is so hot and ughhh I just want her so bad.

Lemme tell you how much I loved when they went out and Tess got all protective and makes the reader all worked up because Tess says "she's mine" and holds her close, scaring Marcus away. She is so ughhhhh. And I love how flirty and playful the reader is, making the first move on Tess and giving her a hard time holding back. The reader's personality is just perfect for Tess, who is all serious but eventually gives in and drops the mask, allowing herself to feel something cause of the reader's antics.

Sorry I rambled so much!! Im just very excited you posted!! I hope you will take care of yourself in the mean time, since the fic you wrote was very long and that seems exhausting. Thank you again for your hard work, you amaze me everytime! <3

I think this is the longest piece of feedback I ever got and I fully might cry 😭

Thank you so so much! I couldn’t write the ending of them actually saying goodbye I thought it was best to leave it open so you guys can figure out how it ended.

It was just super fun writing as Tess and really getting into her head for a bit and seeing how she handles things and how shes so fuckin stubborn and stuff like that so I’m glad you enjoyed it too!

It was very long and I apologise for making you all read all that. But like. It was super fun! Thank you so much for your amazing feedback this made my day! 🫶🏻

[queendeeshorrorimagines]

hii can i get a slasher matchup with the sinclair brothers, ghost faces, or texas chainsaw massacre characters?? i'm sorry those are just the only slashers i really know 😭😭

i'm 5'10 and go by she/her with blonde hair and blue eyes i also have purple peekaboo highlights in my hair!! i'm kinda of mid size?? i play volleyball so like i have muscle on me too

i love to doing any type of art in general but prefer sketching, i also love reading and my fav genres are horror, fantasy and romance; i also love history and specifically roman empire 🫶🏻🫶🏻

my personality it's very finicky and depends on who you are tbh. im either outgoing and sarcastic or like reserved and more quiet. i don't like asking for help at all and i do it's meaning that i trust you and that goes along with ranting and emotions too since i never did as a child; i also have anger issues and i'm not afraid to speak my opinion. my love language is definitely physical touch and affirmations!!

thank you!! <33

I'm so sorry for the late response. I hope you enjoy it. ^_^

For the Sinclairs, I ship you with.... Bo Sinclair!

Bo has never understood how much he likes it when you tell one of the "visitors" off if they fuck with you or the Sinclairs. He understands your anger issues because he himself has anger issues. Both of your anger issues tend to cause issues in the start of your relationship.

Once the both for you eventually understand each other more, the more Bo loves it when you tell someone off. Bo admires how you look naturally beautiful with your purple strands of hair and you bet your ass that he gives into your blue eyes if you really want him to be your muse for a drawing.

For the ghostfaces, I ship you with..... Billy Loomis!

Billy was fascinated with you from the moment you told him off for being an ass towards Randy. He's that guy who would end up being a lost puppy around you. When he discovered that you're into horror movies, he fell for you even more.

Billy understands you when it comes to not asking for help or not being keen on talking about emotions. He's the same way so he's not going to force you into talking to him about your feelings if you don't want to. But if someone ends up passing you off or talking shit about you, let's say they'll be on the news within the next few days.

For the Sawyers/ Hewitts, I ship you with.... Chop Top Sawyer!

Chop Top vibes with you. He's the go with the flow kind of guy and seeing how you look different compared to other people he's seen when it came to the purple in your hair and how toned you were. When he sees your drawings, Chop Top was excited to see them.

If you drew him a sketch, you can bet that he has it inside his pocket always. He fell even more in love with you when you called Drayton out for being an asshole towards Bubba. Since you love history, Chop is all for hearing you talk about your knowledge or how much you love the fantasy book you're currently reading. He might even ask you to read it to him.

[kidsinsaturn]

Hi, how are you ?

I hope you are doing well and hydrated

How do you think madara, shisui and Itachi would react if the reader announced that she was pregnant? How would they handle pregnancy hormones and cravings and when the reader goes in labour?

If you want to you can delete this ask since I think this was highly specific and I asked too much of you

Lots of love from your random follower who loves the way you write

pregnancy

[🗼] hii guys if you could support me with some manga caps of the uchiha pls I feel like I’ve used the same ones for a long time thank u 🫶🏻🫶🏻

characters: madara uchiha; shisui uchiha; Itachi uchiha

genre: sfw;

warnings: fem!reader;

..

..

..

-madara is proud greatly, sooner or later you had to be pregnant with his children and he can't simply feel more excited

-deep inside him, he is a little scared of what can come along the journey of pregnancy, so when you announced you were having his baby he planned a whole list of what to expect

-those are the sweetest and kindest months of his life, he is very abrupt with anyone else but with you he has always been a lot softer

-so now that you are carrying his child and that you may be a lot more sensitive, he had to always think before speaking to you

-madara is very helpful of course, even though he has the weight of his clan on his shoulders, he always tries to make time for you. he doesn't want to miss any day of your pregnancy

-very taken aback and offended when you have your sudden mood changes lmao if you are suddenly screaming at him, a part of him wants to argue back, but he knows that's just foolish

-he is there for you all the time, even when he is not present, he will have always a trusted person at your service at all times. if that person misses just a bit, they are banned lmaoo

-he doesn't hide his faces when hearing your weird food cravings, he gets them for you, but he is telling you honestly how disgusting your tastes have gotten

-the week before going into labor, he doesn't work or he is working from home. he told his counselors that you are giving birth anytime soon and that he will be unavailable, that's it, he didn't even wait for a response

-at the day, he is always by your side, yelling and cursing at people for moving too slowly. if you are uncomfortable, he will reprimand the people who are in turn haha

-his heart will stop racing the moment he sees you with the new uchiha baby in your arms, he is afraid to touch the baby, not wanting to hurt his own child, but when he finally does, he can't simply ask for a better thing

-the moment you announced the news, shisui actually screamed hahah

-you have been trying for a child for a while now, so these were shocking news for this young gentleman

-a part of him doesn't feel ready yet, he feels that he may fail as a father and a family man, but he disregards those thoughts quickly, his full focus on you now

-he asks the current hokage to free him from his jounin duties and just give him short, simple missions so he can be near you if you need him

-itachi becomes your immediate maid when shisui isn't with you. shisui asked him kindly if he could watch over you and of course itachi knows this is such an important moment for the both of you

-shisui is very versatile and he can read you so easily, so your intense moods are expected by him, he tries to do his best and not disturb you more

-he is very good of course, shisui never misses. he plays manages to make you feel a lot better. and if some day you are upset with him, shisui does his magic and at the end of the day, you are back in your bed being spooned by him

-during the first months of your pregnancy, shisui goes to mikoto and fugaku for some advices, he hasn't done anything bad but he wants to be fully prepared

-he does too many extra things because he feels insecure, unsure that he can't be the father your children deserve aww

-your food cravings don't really gross him out, but he can't have a straight face when you ask for one, his expressions always make you laugh, his whole aura lightening you up

-shisui is simply wonderful while you are pregnant. he feels excited with just the idea that you are carrying his child, wow he can't still assimilate that

-every night you get free belly rubs, he is always willing to feel your belly grow each day, there isn't one day he doesn't rub his hands tenderly along your waist

-right before the baby is about to be born, shisui is talking to your belly, as if he were talking to his child. he has full conversations and will look at you offended if you interrupt him and his baby

-when you are in labor, shisui is there to calm you down with his hands, caressing all your swollen areas while holding your hand. he has high pain tolerance, so he doesn't flinch when you grip his hand tightly

-cries when his baby cries, and when you have his child in your arms, he asks itachi to take a picture of his small family

-this is everything itachi ever wanted

-his face doesn't change a lot except for his soft grin and his tender gaze, but he is actually shitting himself

-he commits himself to never leave your side. you won't have a bad day with itachi because he is doing everything in his power for you to have a healthy pregnancy

-of course he knows there will be rough times when you won't even want to talk to him, and he is heartbroken, but he knows all of this is for a beautiful ending

-mikoto is there for you too, along with sasuke, and fugaku !! itachi's whole family is more than ready to support you

-when itachi isn't with you, any of those three will be there. mikoto is usually the one who stays the most, advising you with all the pregnancy. she loves you each day more and is glad that his son found a great woman

-during your first outburst, itachi felt so down, he actually wanted to cry from seeing you in such state; he was mentally getting prepared for the day you were going to give birth because he wasn't ready to see you suffer so much just to give him a child

-he tells you every night how much you mean to him and how thankful he is that you are carrying his child. he is very touchy and clingy during night and is always ready and awake if you need something midnight

-itachi can cook any meal, but some of you cravings weird him out actually. he tried not to make you feel bad, but sometimes he couldn't help the "what" that came out without thinking

-your new big tits full of milk make itachi fluster so bad !! haha he feels ashamed of even thinking about you like that but he can't help it ok,,, he loved your boobies before and now that they are full and so soft with his baby's food,,, he will ask to touch them every tuesday

-if you ask for foot massages, itachi is there to do them, even bath you if you want. seriously a part of him just wants to tell you to stop doing anything, he is doing it for you ok you have already done so much by just carrying his child

-at the day of labor, itachi is so nervous. he wants this day to be prefect and he won't allow anyone to ruin it. he can be blunt and mean if he wants to and he won't hesitate to tell people off when they aren't doing their jobs correctly

-while you are giving birth, he offers you his hand, it hurt like shit but he lets it pass. he is actually shocked with how much strength you have and how strong you are for giving birth to a whole human being. itachi respects you 10x more now

-with his baby now on your arms, itachi can rest now, however a new life will now depend on him and he is more than ready to start this new chapter of your lives with the best woman along his side