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princess-cordelias-writingblog · 5 years

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So Far Away -Five. (Nolan xReader)

A/N: This is the second time i try to post this things eye-

Anyway, in case you couldn’t tell I messed up the timeline and let’s just pretend Nolan found out about Liam’s ability in a different way okay? k’, you’ll know what I’m talking about when u see it lmaoo also, I won’t follown the plot of the show exactly as it went partly cause I don’t remember well and I don’t have the time to rewatch it all, still I hope you like it tho!

P.S. Also, what do you guys think about doing blurb nights? or drabbles? I just want to interact with you more ^-^ they’d be about all the fandoms I have on my bio obvsly, not only teen wolf lol let me know what you think! :D -Danny

Words: 1,745

Warnings: bad writing my dudes. Also a bit of blood.

Pt.4

missing you is a slow burn Every time the earth turns I'm reminded that night is only half the time

The next week went by slowly, from one class to another Y/N was forced to stand there and have nothing but a glance from Nolan every time he walked past. He wasn’t his old self anymore, dry and rough he was nothing but a shadow that followed those boys around.

One day she decided to pay him a visit, he said they weren’t dating anymore but he never mentioned anything about not being friends and the girl was holding onto that little gap, hoping it wasn’t a bad moment Y/N knocked on his door but no one answered. She knocked a few more times still with no reply. Disappointed she turned around and walked towards the street when a noise on the second floor caught her attention.

Nolan was there, looking directly to Y/N. He wasn’t exactly intimidating, but what scared her was that she couldn’t read his expression.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” He asked without moving.

“I-I just wanted to talk,” She rubbed her hands to get away from the cold, it was almost night time and she’d brought nothing but a thin blouse and a pair of jeans, naively trusting he’d let her in, “Can I come in?”

“I’m... I have homework,” He replied, and just then Y/N saw something close to worry.

“Me too,” She smiled shyly, “maybe we can finish all faster together?”

“I don’t think is a good idea Y/N, I don’t wanna get distracted but... t-thanks, see you,” Without waiting for a reply, Nolan stepped back and closed his window, Y/N didn’t even get the chance to wish him a good night.

Walking back to her car it felt like a bizarre walk of shame, and Y/N wasn’t exactly the type to give up to things she cared about just like that; in her mind a plan was already forming, she had nothing to lose at that point, and her friends could say she was overreacting and that she should let him go and move on. If it had been any other guy, maybe she’d have agreed with them, but this was Nolan, the same boy she convinced to join the lacrosse team. The same team that helped him beat up innocent kids like Liam and she had to do something about it.

She drove through the streets still distracted by her own thoughts, the town was quiet that night and it was lacking the usual traffic, not that she minded, all she wanted after her disappointing evening was a warm shower and her bed. Maybe snacks. And binge-watch romantic movies so she could finally sink in the miserable feeling around her chest.Y/N drove in silence until Muse ave came into view, a few cars were parked in the middle in the street and people stood around curiously. Assuming it was a car accident, Y/N slowed down, from her side she was the only car, so she could see the scene in front of her. What she saw would change her life forever.

Two bodies covered in blood were laying on the ground, standing in front of them, there was a person. Or at least it looked like one for the most part, it had to legs and two arms, though those arms ended in big, ugly hands with massive claws, and the face was covered in thick hair and his eyes had a golden, savage glow. Not to mention the gigantic fangs coming out of the mouth.

She had to be dreaming. She was totally dreaming, right? There’s no way that was actually happening, there in front of her. A... a big dog-person growling in the middle of the street.

Then the person turned around and he recognized him. Liam.

“Oh my god,” She gasped, her voice muffled by the hand that went up to cover her mouth in shock.

Nolan’s voice came back to her, almost as if he knew what she was looking at right on that moment.

“You have no idea of what he is, what he is capable of!”

She sees it now, in all his scary glory she sees what Liam is and she wants to lock herself in the nuthouse just for thinking about it. Liam’s a werewolf.

The thing is, even now that she sees his true form, for her Liam still looks... like a scared boy. She can see it on his body language, the way he’s ready to attack but not because he wants to, it’s because he’ll do it if he feels like he needs to.

And what about the bodies? They aren’t mangled, their clothes are okay and the blood is coming from their heads, like someone hit them hard.

Like a car just ran them over.

She finds it quickly, the blood all over the front of the car of that man. And he’s fine, he doesn’t look scared, in his eyes, Y/N sees a sickening warmth, like he’s pleased with his actions.

Hidden in the boy’s chest she sees it: the girl’s hand. Although is not a normal hand, it has claws. What did they do to be killed in such a cold manner? They were kids. Couldn’t be older than her and Nolan. And still this man decided to finish them off simply cause they were different.

Granted, it was a terrifying look, a scary kind of different. But she had talked to Liam before, she saw him getting beaten up for the exact reason this man killed his friends and Liam never tried to fight back, for all she knew, they were the real victims.

It was then that even against her better judgement and all that scary movies ever taught her about monsters that she made a decision.

“Liam!” Almost as if things weren’t weird enough, Scott McCall appeared followed by a girl she remembered as Malia from school. She didn’t know from where did they come from but it didn’t matter, apparently, they knew about Liam’s condition cause they walked straight towards him and surrounded him so no one could see his face. Unfortunately, they were now trapped inside the circle of curious people, and Scott looked around, they had nowhere to go. Or so they thought.

“Scott,” Y/N got out of her car and spoke loud enough to get the young man’s attention, “hey, McCall!”

He found her in the middle of the mess and his eyes went wide, surely thinking she was about to freak out and attack them. “Y/N, I’m sorry-”

“Get in the car,” she cut him out, very aware of the looks people were giving her.

“You’re not gonna let them get inside your car with that... thing, going with you, right?” A woman asked from her left.

“I’m sorry, but last time I checked that ‘thing’ was a human being and the people with him were too”

“They’re monsters!” The man in front of her, the same that had killed the other two spoke up, “they’ll kill us at the first chance”

“You’re crazy,” Y/n replied in disgust, “can’t you see what you did? You killed them! They were kids!”

“Monsters!” Repeated the stranger, and the crowd joined, screaming threats to Liam, who was still covered by Scott’s body.

“Scott, I won’t repeat myself” She insisted harshly, opening the back door of her car and stepping aside so Scott could put him in.

“Thank you,” He sighed, and the three of them quickly got into the car and shared no words while Y/N heard a woman next to her calling an ambulance for the other kids that laid inert on the ground.

Y/N went back to the car and turned on the engine once more. She didn’t look back until she left the busy street, and even then a few minutes went by before she realized she had no idea where she was going.

“D-do you want me to drop you all off at your place?” She asked Scott, her voice now a lot shakier than before.

“No, take us to Liam’s”

“Alright,” She replied, still shaking, “Can someone tell me where’s that?”

Scott proceeded to give her directions until the house came into view, she parked right outside the house and watched as Liam and Malia got out of the back.

Liam glanced at her with fear, and she wanted to let him know that it was okay, that she didn’t judge him or that she wasn’t afraid. But it was a blatant lie. She was scared shitless and she had no words for what was going on. Y/N was in for big, big trouble.

“You can go home now,” Scott told her once his friends were away, waiting for him at the doorstep.

“You don’t need a ride home?” She inquired, trying to sound as calm as possible, “I mean, a bunch of people just saw you walking out next to... him, you could be in danger”

“Believe me, I’m used to it by now,” He gave her a sad smile.

“I insist”

“Why?” Scott eyed her up and down, a frown now appearing on his face, “you saw what happened there, right? How come you’re not screaming and running for your life”

“Because, like you said, I saw what happened. And they didn’t have the fault. Liam isn’t dangerous”

Scott nodded, She saw his train of thoughts going for a few seconds before he spoke up again.

“Fine, give us five minutes and you can drop us at my place”

“Okay,” Y/N sighed, finally letting go of the steering wheel, not even conscious that she was holding to it like her life depended on it. “I’ll be here”

“And Y/N?” He added once he was out, bending a little so he could see her through the window, “thank you for helping”

“Scott?” She didn’t want to ask the next question, but she had to, if she wanted to save Nolan, she had to know everything, “the reason why Nolan and those guys were beating Liam up that other day... was it because they knew what he was?”

He hesitated for a moment but after sharing one look, he couldn’t lie.

“We think so,” And with that he walked towards Liam and Malia, leaving Y/N with a pit in her chest.

If she didn’t stop him before things went too far, Nolan was going to make some huge mistakes.

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Taglist: @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @im-planning-something-look

#Danny's writing #nolan holloway x reader #teen wolf imagine #so far away

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animatedminds · 4 years

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What If: Every Character In Dragonball FighterZ Had a Dramatic Finish? (Pt. 3)

And here we are at the third leg of this little brainstorming session. Since yesterday, UI Goku has come out - people are enjoying the apparently pretty insane defensive options he’s got, and the new Kefla Dramatic Finish, but that doesn’t mean our work here is done just yet. If you haven’t seen the first two installments of these, this week in honor of the Ultra Instinct Goku DLC for Dragon Ball FighterZ I’ve been doing a little hypothetical thinking about Dramatic Finishes - those awesome re-animations of classic Dragonball moments that Arcys lovingly put into the game. Specifically, we’ve been approaching the question of “what if there were even more Dramatic Finishes” - since only a select portion of the cast has one. Over the last couple of days, we’ve been going through each of the characters without a Dramatic Finish and trying to find the best choice, the most cinematic moment, coolest and hopefully most epic shots of each character’s history that could work as a Dramatic Finish for them. This is more of a hypothetical: as I said in the previous installments, I’m not seriously saying that every character in the game should have a Dramatic Finish: Arcsys puts a hell of a lot of work into each of them, and the majority of the roster getting such time consuming devotion is just not happening. This is more of a thought experiment - and an excuse to rewatch a ton of clips from all over Dragonball history, of course. And as before, I’m looking for good scenes that would make appearances in Dramatic Finishes, not necessarily wins - so some of the characters on this list are going to lose.

If you want to the whole thing in one shot, you can always just listen to it on Soundcloud: we have a whole cast for it right here. But if not, then buckle up: cause here we got into Part 3. When last we met, we went through the Cell Saga (and Videl), so the next character up without a Dramatic Finish should be...

Majin Buu

Buu has been in the game since the beginning, but never did seem to get much attention - the main villain of his own arc, albeit one in which is many additional forms and personas took center stage after himself, Buu’s got quite a bit of interesting moments under his belt, with his own brand of destruction that’s as terrifying as it is silly.

I do want to preface this by pointing out that in the last video I went over an option for Super Saiyan Vegeta, which involved compositing the Final Explosion moment from his stint as Majin Vegeta into his regular Super Saiyan form and using that as a Finish, and before we go into more options for Buu I’ll say that at the end of the day I still think that’s the best option both for Vegeta and for Buu himself, but too give something extra for this segment...

The tricky thing about Buu is that he does a lot of fighting but not a lot of finishing - in this form, at least, he mostly wreaks havoc on innocent bystanders while the heroes can’t stop him. There are some scenes, like him killing Dabura by turning him into a cookie, that would work - but which would involve characters that aren’t currently in the game.

So I ultimately came up with two options (technically three, but I’ll save that third one for the next section).

The first is a less serious suggestion, since the steps required to make this scene smaller for a Dramatic Finish probably aren’t worth it, but its is a version of this anime-only scene where Gotenks attempts to fight Buu and - predictably - is defeated. This scene works in a general sense due to the good framing: Gotenks is knocked into a wall so hard he gets embedded into it, and then Buu destroys everything around them while he is helpless to stop it, and in transferring the action to the City stage you could make that simple idea work pretty well.

The thing is, what would really make this scene work as a Dramatic Finish is something that would be kind of extra for this game: the army shows up, and they kill massacred while Gotenks fails to get them to run. That would really put the drama in this Dramatic Finish - the hero fails to save the innocent bystanders and all, and without it the scene is just kind of bland, but there’s no way Arcsys is modelling all that just for a reach of a Dramatic Finish, so in the end there are better options for both characters.

So for the other, better option? Give him one of his scenes where he goes up against his later forms. Majin Buu ultimately turns good and fights against his later, eviller transformations, which makes for some good moments. The first of which would simply be a Dramatic Opening which adapts the scene where Kid Buu spits out Majin Buu who (later) gets up to attack him. It’s a two separate scenes, but they’re both quick, and easily condensed condensed into one: just have Kid Buu spit out Majin Buu, who immediately steps up to fight.

But for finally a Dramatic Finish suggestion, we have another one that requires some finagling: take the scene in which Majin Buu attempts (and fails) to turns Evil Buu into chocolate, and give it to Kid Buu instead.

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This would be a win for Kid Buu (again, replacing Evil Buu with him in this case), and it would work pretty easily, given that a lot of Dramatic Finishes so far use a formula like this: Kid Buu knocks Majin Buu back, who gets mad and tries to strike back with the Chocolate Beam. Kid Buu blows it back and Majin Buu gets hit instead. A piece of chocolate hits the ground, Kid Buu picks it up and eats it - then end with a shot of Kid Buu laughing maniacally, or perhaps shift one of Evil Buu’s poses over to Kid Buu.

It wouldn’t be the first time something from one of the earlier forms was given to Kid Buu in this game, and it works out fairy well - though I will say again that the Final Explosion moment is still the best option for Majin Buu in my opinion.

Next on the list...

Gotenks

Gotenks is, if anything, even trickier than Buu. The entire concept of Gotenks is a warrior who is extremely powerful and versatile, but also a complete fool and a blowhard. He’s many times more powerful than either Goten or Trunks could ever be alone, but in terms of character and wisdom he’s less than the sum of his parts - and so, he can never win.

This presents an interesting problem for this list: Gotenks has no follow through. Not only does he never really finish off an opponent, he also has a tendency to screw up and get himself taken out in inglorious ways that wouldn’t make great Dramatic Finishes either. The option I gave in the preceding section, losing against Buu, is a good example: it just has too many problems even given that it’s an above average choice in comparison to a lot of his other moments.

But there are a couple options I can think of, still. The first is a good choice for a Dramatic Opening - in fact, the very first thing I thought of for this section: that anime only fight that I brought up with Majin Buu begins in an interesting way: Gotenks blindsides Buu with a cheap shot. Then we get a surprisingly cool entrance for a scene meant mostly to fill time, in which Gotenks - wreathed in shadow against a vibrant blue background - makes a dramatic speech about how he’s going to kill Buu for good.

Really, the visual effect of this is so good that even given that they would have to transpose it to a different stage (the City, again) I wouldn’t mind seeing it as a Dramatic Opening. It’s at least an option for this section, though... let’s face it, it’s not quite there yet. We can at least think of a Finish for here as well, can’t we? Well, the one I figured on is - unfortunately for Gotenks - a loss, and it’s more of a funny moment than a Dramatic moment, but I’d say either of the versions of Beerus’ defeat of him during the Battle of Gods arc (either in the movie, or in Super):

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For reference, he’s the Battle of Gods version as well.

The perfection of this scene is that while it may not be a titanic moment that shook the heavens like most of the Dramatic Finishes, it gives us a chance to show off another side of Dragonball that’s always been a strong factor: the humor. The Super version, especially, gives Koichi Yamadera and Jason Douglas a chance to let loose their chops and give us a complete rant that’s as all over the place as it is fun to watch, and ultimately even if it’s not epic, it’s definitely entertaining. To imagine a Dramatic Finish that’s just Beerus stopping the action, taking over the camera and shouting about pudding in as over-dramatic a way as possible for half a minute sounds oddly good to me - kind of meta, and a heck of a non-sequitiur.

Yes, at Gotenks’ expense, but these two options really run the gamut of Gotenks’ scene: either he’s crowing dramatically about how awesome he is, or he’s getting humiliated in a fight. I love the kid, but he could use some character development (Super gave Goten and Trunks a little, but they were out of focus so much you’d never notice).

Either way, we move on to...

Vegeta (Super Saiyan Blue)

When it comes to characters for who felt a bit left out, it was somewhat surprising that neither Super Saiyan Blue Goku nor Vegeta got Dramatic Finishes when the game came out: this was Super was current, and it was assumed the game would try have a bit of synergy with its moments - but then again, it also makes sense. Animation lead time takes forever, and game lead time takes forever, and since it takes over a year to make either of those things waiting to make a moment in retrospect sometimes is just more worthwhile than rushing to do something in the moment.

You can see how doing adapting quickly might not end with the best result in Ranger 17′s FighterZ moveset, which has to fill blanks with Cell saga moves and a couple things adapted from other video games, unable to use a lot of the things that made Ranger 17 so fun to watch because the character was already in production when those happened.

But let’s not get distracted. Vegeta Blue is in an interesting spot, because no matter how powerful he is Vegeta’s role is still the same: do well against the less powerful opponent, then get wrecked by the main antagonists. This ultimately means that a lot of Vegeta’s best moments in Blue are against characters not in the game. A favorite moment, and the one I would absolutely want as a Dramatic Finish, involves a character I’ve personally wanted in the game since launch - but who is almost certainly never going to make the cut (Auta Magetta), a titanic Final Flash + Punch that ended up becoming his LVL 3 in the game itself. Other good options include his hilarious and cathartic defeat of Frost in the Universe 6 vs Universe 7 tournament, and his defeat of Toppo in the Tournament of Power, all of which involve character that are unlikely to be in the game even as DLC (though they’re at least more likely than Spopovich).

But if we only look at characters who are in the game, we’ve mostly got fleeting moments of victory that quickly turn around to defeat. But, if we’re looking that those there is one that stands out as particularly cinematic: the end of his fight with Freeza in Revival F (or Super).

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In this clip, Vegeta defeats Freeza, who has a cheap shot attempts to blow up the entire planet. Think the Freeza vs Goku Finishes or the Gohan vs Cell Finishes, except in this case the hero fails. The cheap shot works, and Freeza destroys everything... until time gets rewound and Goku stops this from happening by taking out Freeza before he can.

The irony here is pretty funny. You either get a Dramatic Finish where Blue Vegeta loses, or one where he wins but Blue Goku still steals his thunder. EIther way, though, it’s still one of the most cinematic options. Especially if you add in a little of the Super version of Freeza blowing up the Earth, with bits and pieces of all the characters as they have only a moment to react to their sudden doom. You could even do something akin to how Arcsys did Dizzy’s instant kill in Guilty Gear Xrd, and have your different teammates all react differently depending on who is on your team, though that might be a step too far.

Either way, all you’d need is to win against Blue Vegeta while Blue Goku is on your team. Freeza throws a fit, Vegeta attempts to execute him but is stopped by Freeza blowing up the planet... then rewind. The scene replays, but this time Goku leaps forward and finishes Freeza off. End with a shot of Vegeta yelling at Goku or something for stealing his moment.

It’s a pretty great option, even if it’s not Vegeta’s most glamorous moment - but then, that’s pretty standard for Vegeta. Either way, we can move on. Next up...

Hit

When I was first putting this list together, last week or so, it was before Blue Goku was revealed to be the version of Goku with the Kefla Dramatic Finish. Everyone assumed it was UI Goku, so I had a Goku option lined up - but him now having one (and thus being out of this list) works out fairly well, because originally the choice I made for Blue Goku and the choice I made for Hit ended up as the same thing anyway.

Hit and Blue Goku’s fights feature some of the best scenes either character (which is to say, Hit and that version of Goku) have in Super, and it’s a no brainer that the finish for this section would come from that fight... but, since the first version of that fight ended inconclusively, I would actually suggest compositing scenes from their first fight with the conclusion of their second, anime-only rematch: which ends with a titanic moment - though yes, another Kamehameha - where Goku literally breaks through and shatters Hit’s time stalling technique.

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Meanwhile, while the second fight provides the climactic conclusion, the first fight provides the build up and the best visuals: featuring epic scenes where the two rush each other in sprays of blue, red and purple that could really show what Super was capable of when the animation really got going.

So the key here is to make a new Dramatic Finish that combines elements of that first fight and the conclusion of the second: much like the Super Broly Finish, have the first part be moments from the first fight adapted together, to create the flow of a single stretch of combat. A win for Blue Goku, of course, this would start out as a blistering clash between the two.

Then, end it with the conclusion of the second fight, with Goku completely overcoming Hit’s time skip and blowing him away, through collapsing in exhaustion afterwards. Given the differing locations of their two fights, this could either take place in FighterZ’s original stage - Galactic Arena - which is loosely inspired by the Universal Tournament area, or the Archipelago.

Then much like the Jiren Finish, the last part of the scene would be them palling around - or as much as a guy like Hit can pal around - after the fight, promising to come at each other with even more power next time they meet, just like the ending of their rematch. It’s a strong Dramatic Finish that shows off the best of both.

It seems like Blue Goku has been the theme for the last two sections... but we might as well not break the trend now. We move on to the last section of the day, and the last character introduced in Super to not have a Dramatic Finish...

Goku Black

Yes, Zamasu’s insidious disguise himself. While Zamasu got several Dramatic Finishes to his name, Goku Black has since launch had to make due with the semi-special finish you get if you kill him with Beerus’ LVL 3.

As the primary Zamasu faced during his eponymous arc, Black does most of the legwork throughout that saga, but a downside to the way that saga is built is that there isn’t much in the way of “final” moments throughout it all: it’s basically a running fight in which the fighters take break for Round 2, Round 3, etc - most big moments on one side are instantly undone by big moments from the other side, with neither really gaining ground enough that you could build a Dramatic Finish out of it.

There is, however, one pretty decent moment that would make a great moment - featuring a cinematic comeback for Blue Goku followed by a brutal shutdown by Black. We’re talking here about Goku’s fury, the moment where he finds out what Black did to Chi-Chi and Goten in his timeline (note: not pleasant), followed by his enraged - but short lived - revenge.

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The flashback is just too long to really work in a Dramatic Finish, unless you did it in snippets like Bardock’s flashback in his, which I would suggest, but given the whole fight scene afterwards might end up a step too far. Either way, it’s a win for Goku Black, in the City stage: he has Goku literally up against a wall, torturing him alongside Zamasu... only for Goku to break free and completely lose it. Following would be another fight scene within a Dramatic Finish, in which Goku goes to town on Black and Zamasu, seemingly winning... until Black turns it around by powering up himself, finishing Goku off with the God Slicer (or Divine Lasso, depending on your preference).

Final shot is easy: a shot of Goku’s broken body on the ground, as in the source, added with a shot of Black standing smugly over him smugly. It’s one of Black’s more epic moments - at least that isn’t inflicted on innocent bystanders - and works very well as one of those few moments where the villain gets one over on the hero.

And that’s it for today! We’re coming up on the end: to be concluded, tomorrow!

As always, if you don’t want to wait just check out the whole thing on Soundcloud, and in the meantime let me know what you think of the choices for each character and whether you have any other ideas! But either way if you’re a FighterZ player I hope you’re enjoying the DLC, and if you’re a Dragonball fan I hope you’re keeping up that endless search for more power. Stay sparking!

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ghostbustermelanieking · 5 years

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praescitum chapter sixteen

chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four, chapter five, chapter six, chapter seven, chapter eight, chapter nine, chapter ten, chapter eleven pt 1, chapter eleven pt 2, chapter twelve, chapter thirteen, chapter fourteen, chapter fifteen

casefile, season 10, season 11, 11x07 Rm9sbG93ZXJz. part of my series that i write as i rewatch the x files.

Summary: As Mulder and Scully adjust to their reassignment to the X-Files and working together in the wake of their separation, they find themselves investigating a small town and a ghost that apparently warns people of bad things to come.

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PART FOUR

chapter sixteen.

february, 2018

In between all the chaos—firemen arriving, interviews with the police, checking in with neighbors, and confirming multiple times that despite the fact that all of the ruined technology is technically connected to her, the house is not under her name, and yes, she's been subletting it for almost five years with no word from the original owner—Mulder takes Scully to a diner. (Their diner, she thinks in an almost possessive manner. They've been going to it forever, ever since the Tooms case; Mulder took her then to get her out of her apartment while the police finished up. It looks completely different now, painted green instead of blue with an altered menu, but she's not complaining. After all these years, even after good and bad memories in this diner, it still feels like theirs. Now that they're back on the Files, they go all the time.)

They're sitting side by side at the counter, their fingers intertwined and their phones facedown on the table, absently debating about the probability of sentient, vengeful robots, when Scully's phone starts buzzing insistently. She checks the screen quickly and sees that it is the Bethesda police. “I should probably take this,” she says apologetically, and Mulder nods understandingly, squeezes her hand tight.

She sits at the counter as she takes the phone call, Mulder's thumb rubbing against her palm. The gist is this: a good portion of the apartment was actually untouched by the fire, and a great deal of her personals can be recovered. Scully's relieved to hear that the boxes of things she kept from her mother's house were untouched, and that Daggoo is fine since he was staying at a neighbor's last night. (She'd left him at the neighbor's because she'd fully expected to head to Mulder’s last night, but they hadn't talked a lot last night because of a silly, good-natured bet that neither of them could go the whole meal without talking. Insecure from all of the silence, she'd ordered that driverless car halfway through the meal, and had instantly regretted it as the meal dissolved into a giggly rush and odd, adrenaline-induced escape.) But despite that, half of the house is destroyed. It's unliveable, the chief says, and he suggests that she find somewhere else to stay for the time being.

“Bad news?” Mulder asks sympathetically as she hangs up, squeezing her hand again.

Scully shrugs. “Looks like Daggoo and I need to find somewhere to stay.”

He gives her a funny look, tipping his head to the side. “You can stay with me,” he says, as if it should be obvious. “You and the mutt. Of course you can.” There's a degree of hesitance in his voice, like she wouldn't want to—the same way she hesitated. They've been closer lately, they've been together lately, but this degree of hesitance remains. They haven't talked about her moving back since the case in Henrico County. She's spent two Christmases with him, she's spent more nights with him than alone, but they still haven't talked about any of this yet. She thinks a part of her is still scared to move back, to say anything definitive about their relationship.

“Oh, thank you, Mulder,” she says, and leans her head on his shoulder on an impulse. “I just… don't want to impose.”

“Don't be ridiculous,” he says, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “It'll give me a chance to give you a better birthday dinner.”

She chuckles softly. “This is good,” she murmurs, motioning to the diner counter, and he smushes a kiss to her hair. “As long as the house is drone-free,” she adds.

“Oh, it'd better be,” he says with a chuckle of his own. He rubs the length of her arm, squeezes her elbow. “Want to go pick up your stuff?”

“Yeah, we might as well get some of it,” she says with a sigh, sitting up and taking a last sip of her coffee. “Some clothes. Daggoo. I should go ahead and take him off the neighbor's hands.”

He offers her a small smile, reaching down to take her hand again. “Stay as long as you like,” he murmurs, and she grows warm with the sentiment. She cranes her neck back to kiss him on the mouth, swings his hand a little as they leave the diner together.

---

Ryan is exiting the cafeteria, bumping into his friends as the mass of students file out, when he sees Mrs. Seers, healthy-looking and grinning in the middle of the hallway. The American History teacher hugs her with one arm, a couple students offer her high fives. Ryan, however, stiffens, freezing straight where he is until someone crashes hard into his back and shouts a protest right into his ear.

Ryan mutters an apology and ducks away, closer to the lockers, his neck bent, facing away from her. He's trying to avoid her; he isn't exactly sure if she really is possessed, or if she was possessed but the ghost is gone now (because it's never stayed any longer than a day or so, right, it usually leaves after its work is done), or if she was never possessed in the first place. But whatever the case, he doesn't want to talk to her. He ducks around a cluster of freshman and involuntarily meets her eyes, and that's when he realizes she's moved. Not towards him, but in the direction he's headed, further down the hall.

Ryan turns away, instinctively, and moves further down the hall. But when he looks back over his shoulder, Mrs. Seers is still there, moving a few feet away from him. She is following him, he realizes, and his heart thuds harder. He shoves past a cluster of seniors, probably too hard, and nearly runs into a pencil vending machine in an effort to turn a corner, but she is still there. The hallways are clearing out a bit, and Ryan moves faster, nearly running in an effort to evade her. But there she is, her heels clacking audibly on the tiles. Or—no, he corrects himself, the same way he did in the hospital the last time he saw Mrs. Seers: it's not her. He's almost positive, now, that it's not her.

Ryan ducks into the bathroom as the bell rings, shrilly. It's a feeble attempt—he doubts the ghost cares about sending the woman it has possessed into the boy's bathroom—but it's an attempt worth taking. He goes into a stall and locks the door, leaning hard between the wall and the toilet tank, his overstuffed backpack still on his back. His heart pounding too hard, his breathing too rough, his hands sweaty as he clutches the backpack straps. For a second, it is silent except for the blowing of the air conditioning.

And then he hears the scrape of the door against the tiles, the clacking of those heels.

He presses harder against the wall, trying to tuck his feet awkwardly behind the toilet, frantically cursing himself for not crouching on the toilet in the first place. The bulk of the textbooks are hard against his back. The heels are growing closer. He can see Mrs. Seers's feet outside the stall. He holds his breath.

She's stopped in front of his stall. She's standing there, facing him. Ryan tries not to breathe, silly as it is; he knows she can probably see his feet. He waits for her to do something, to shake the door of the stall, to break it down, to menacingly warn him that it isn't over. (He knows, he knows it isn't over; he's known for a long time.)

But she doesn't. The ghost doesn't speak or move through the body of Mrs. Seers. It just stands there for what feels like forever, silently. Ryan gives up holding his breath, and tries to breathe quietly. But he doesn't move, and neither does she, until she finally turns, still silent, and clacks right out of the bathroom. The door shuts hard behind her.

---

At the sprawling farmhouse in Farrs Corner, Daggoo makes himself right at home. He's not unfamiliar with the property; Scully usually brings him with her if she's planning to stay more than one night. He hops right up on the couch and falls asleep, curled in the direct center of a cushion with his usual disregard for the space of others.

The house doesn't feel as empty now. That's what Scully keeps noticing, every time she enters: it doesn't feel as empty as it did right before she left. It's just Mulder and sometimes Daggoo there with her, but seeing them there is incredibly relieving. Things have felt different since they found their son. Almost lighter.

In the months since they found their son and lost him again, they've gotten to some strange state of simultaneous hope and acceptance. Acceptance that he is gone, for now, but that he is fine, hope that he will come back someday. They keep the snow globe upstairs in Mulder's room, the DVD of the footage of Scully talking to him right by the television. The photo of William playing baseball as a child pinned up on the fridge. (Mulder had told her that he'd taken it a few days after they'd gotten back from Norfolk, and she hadn't hesitated to put it on the fridge. It was some small reassurance that he'd had a childhood, a life after she gave him up; some reassurance that it hadn't all been pain and fear and visions. Afterwards, she'd felt nearly guilty about it, putting up a photograph of a child that was essentially someone else's, someone else's photo, from someone else's life. But it wasn't too different, she told herself, from the photograph she had tucked away of Emily on her birthday. It was something. Something that they had of their child. So it has stayed on the fridge.) They've spent a lot of time together since those few days in Norfolk, weeks at a time. They've spent a lot of time talking about what happened in Norfolk, what happened with their son. Whether or not they should go after him. They ultimately decided not to, simply because they don't want to scare him off. Scully hasn't been able to see him since, hasn't had any dreams or visions, but she has the vaguest feeling that he's all right. And unless that feeling changes, unless they get some inkling that he isn't all right, they've decided to leave him alone, as much as it may hurt. It's enough to know that he's alive out there, as much as they worry that he's hurt or scared or in danger; it's enough to know things about him, about his life and what he looks like and that he's thought of them all this time. It's enough.

Mulder helps Scully carry her boxes inside from his car, the few things she decided to bring. She already has a lot of things over here, anyways, things she's slowly migrated over, and she's still not sure if this is going to be permanent. They haven't discussed whether or not this is permanent. They haven't talked about it. Scully gets the sense that Mulder is a little hurt that she didn't want to bring all of her things, but he hasn't said a word about it. Neither of them have. He carries her boxes upstairs and helps her unpack and kisses her sweaty forehead in the doorway.

They collapse on the couch downstairs together, Mulder's arm draped over her shoulder. She rests her head on his own shoulder, mumbles, “Thanks for coming to get me last night.” She still can't believe he came. She remembers the wave of relief that accompanied the sight of his face on the other side of the screen, even as fear filled her to the brim. He got her out, he came for her and shielded her with his own body, the way he's done in the past. She doesn't know why it's such a surprise, why it makes her want to cry. She grips the hem of his shirt with a sudden possessiveness.

“Mmm.” He rubs his chin against the top of her head absently. “Who says I came for you?” he jokes. “I was running from the drones, remember?”

She pokes him in the side jokingly, her forehead against his collarbone. “Well, whatever the reason, thank you,” she says dryly.

“You're welcome,” he murmurs, and she can almost feel his smile. He rubs her side warmly with his palm. “I'll always come for you, Scully.”

She smiles, too, hidden against the side of his chest. “Ditto,” she says, and he squeezes her tight. They stay like that for a long time.

---

Later in the day, they are still on the couch. Scully is reading the book she left on the bedside table last weekend, her shoulder pressed to Mulder's. Mulder is flipping TV channels, the mutt curled peacefully in his lap. (He has to say that the dog has grown considerably more likeable in the years since Scully's gotten it. He mellowed with age. Mulder can relate.) It's the peaceful, domestic situation that he's been imagining on and off ever since they started things up again, the type of thing he imagines for when she moves back in. If she ever moves back in. (He's ashamed of it, but as soon as he saw that her house was on fire, he'd halfway hoped she'd ask to move back in after that. But she has given no indication that she wants to make this a permanent thing; she didn't even bring over all her stuff.) But this is enough, he tells himself. It's been enough for a long time. It'll be enough if this is far as it ever goes.

He's mentally wrestling with what to do for dinner tonight—That soup Scully likes? Something fancier? Maybe spaghetti?—when his phone beeps with an email alert. “Who's that?” Scully asks without looking up, turning a page. “Skinner?”

Mulder grins as he reaches for the phone; she recognizes all of his different notifications by now, and it's incredibly endearing. “I doubt it,” he says, scooping up the phone. “Remember, you wrote the report on that werewolf case from last week, and he actually likes your reports.”

“They weren't werewolves, Mulder,” she says absently, scratching Daggoo's head.

He sticks out his tongue and opens the email, raises his eyebrows in surprise when he sees the sender. “Actually, it's from Ryan Caruthers.”

“Seriously?” Scully sets her book down in surprise. “You haven't heard from him in a while, have you?”

“Not since last fall,” he says. The lapse in the Willoughby case had been almost convenient, coinciding with their trip to Norfolk—he doesn't know if digging further into the Willoughby case would've been a good idea, what with all the similarities to their own life. He'd nearly forgotten about the whole thing, embarrassingly enough, but looking at the email now, he wonders if things have gotten bad with the Specter. He suddenly feels guilty for never following up with Ryan, even though it was never really an official case.

“What did he say?” Scully scoots closer, leaning to read over his shoulder.

Mulder scans the email, and something like worry bubbles up in the pit of his gut. “He's scared,” he says, and he feels Scully looking at him in surprise. He passes the phone to her, recounting more of it: “He's afraid the ghost is going to hurt someone else. He says that his house is safe, that it's… protected somehow, but that the ghost can still hurt people he cares about.”

Scully's eyes move across his phone screen as she reads the email, as she looks back up at him. “He thinks that Joy Seers is possessed?” she asks, astonished. “Mulder, I don't think…”

“We discussed the possibility of possession last fall, remember? Ryan believed that his Uncle Jared was possessed when he committed those murders. And it seemed like Jared believed that, too.”

“But I thought that we agreed that there was no way to prove that,” Scully says, not unkindly. “And even if this hypothetical ghost did possess people, why would it target Joy Seers?”

“Could have something to do with the classroom hauntings in 2016,” says Mulder. “Or her car accident… I'd say there's at least a decent possibility.”

“But Ryan doesn't elaborate as to how he knows she's possessed. Or even what he's afraid of. He just says he'd rather explain in person.”

Mulder leans close to look at the email again. “He wants us to come down there,” he says. “He wants our help to make this stop.”

She chews her lower lip. She puts her hand gently over his knee. “Do you think that's a good idea?” she asks softy. “To go down there? We haven't officially investigated in Willoughby since 2016, and there hasn't been a real crime there in the time we've known about it, aside from arson and breaking and entering on the behalf of Ryan Caruthers.”

“You forgot the missing dog,” Mulder says teasingly, covering her hand with his own callused palm.

She shoots him an indulgent look and squeezes his kneecap. “Do you want to go and investigate? Aside from the fact that the police didn't ask us to come down the way they did in 2015, I doubt Skinner would approve us going down there to investigate nothing.”

“We could always just go off the clock for a couple days. Sort of a continuation of our unofficial investigation last fall.” He rubs her knuckles with his thumb. “It's not as if we haven't done that before.”

“That's an understatement,” Scully says dryly.

“Mmm.” He pats her hand gently. “Do you want to go, Scully?” he asks understandingly—he would get it if she didn't. After the dream he had the night before they went to Norfolk—after what he told Scully about the dream—he doesn't blame her. He'll admit that he feels a little bit of apprehension about the whole thing himself. But that's part of the reason he wants to go; after what he went through with his son, the premonition of his faked death, he understands Ryan's fear. He doesn't want anyone else to go through that.

She shrugs. She's chewing her lower lip again, almost nervously. “Oh, I don't know, Mulder.”

He pats her hand again, takes it in his. “You still think it's a waste of time,” he says knowingly.

“Maybe a little bit.” She shrugs again. “But I can see… where your interest in this case comes from.” She speaks awkwardly, but he understands what she means: she's talking about Jackson. She's thinking about their son.

There's a sort of silent understanding between them. Scully's knee bobs up and down a bit, that same nervous energy. Mulder says, “Why don't we go over there for a couple days and check it out? Tomorrow's Sunday, anyway, so we don't have to go into work. And it's not like it's a long drive.”

She's quiet. She says, “Okay.”

He wraps an arm around her and she leans right in. Daggoo, sitting between them on the couch now, clambers up onto her lap and noses at her hand. She smiles a little, stroking his head. Mulder kisses her cheek. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she says, dropping her book on the coffee table. “It's just been a long day.”

“That's an understatement.” He rubs her arm with his palm. She drops her head to his shoulder. He puts his lips to her hair and murmurs, “Hey, if you'd rather not go to Willoughby…”

“No, no,” she says, shaking her head. “I'm fine, Mulder. Really. If there's nothing worth investigating there, we can come back. But I don't think it's a good idea to ignore this email, not if Ryan Caruthers is really scared he's in danger.” She sighs a little, tucked into his side. “The least we could do is make sure that he's okay.”

---

In the late morning, they drop Daggoo back off in Maryland and leave for Willoughby. It's a quick preparation process, considering that Scully is still packed from the day before; she'd mentally planned to unpack today, had been weighing how much she could unpack, where she could unpack, if she could just skip unpacking completely. She feels as if she's walking a thin line, and she doesn't entirely know which side to land on. Whether she wants to move back in or not, whether or not Mulder even wants her to come back permanently. She really had expected to stay at Mulder's last night, after her impromptu, incredibly strange birthday dinner. (That's the last time you get to pick the restaurant for a while, she'd told him that morning on the way to the diner, and he'd shaken his head ruefully, pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.) But the longer they'd gone without talking, the longer they kept looking at their phones, the more awkward it had felt. After all this time, she still doesn't know where they stand.

Scully drives. Mulder works the Bluetooth, switching the Pandora stations sporadically and making Scully wrinkle her nose until he finally turns it off and shoots her a grin. She rolls her eyes playfully. “Do you think we should get in touch with the sheriff, Mulder?” she asks. “Let him know we're in town?”

He shrugs. “I don't see why we should, especially if we're only here for a little while. We didn't tell him when we came to investigate at the school, right? Since there's no specific crime we're investigating, I say we hold off.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” says Scully. “I just don't want to create some kind of rift between us and local law enforcement by making it seem like we're hiding things, in the event that some sort of crime does occur. It's not as if that sort of thing has never happened before.”

“That's true. But it just feels silly to involve them now. We're just coming into town to check on Ryan.”

“Have you communicated with Ryan since last night?” she asks.

“Yeah, he wanted us to meet at that Italian place from a couple of years ago,” he says. “He says he has something he wants us to see… some of kind 'proof,’ he said.”

“Proof?” Scully flips on her blinker as they approach the exit. “Proof of what?”

“The Specter, I'm guessing.” He pokes her jokingly in the side.

She rolls her eyes again, swatting at his hand and shooting him a small half-smile. “Proof like those videos that Joy showed us of the classroom? Proof that could be easily doctored?”

“You know those videos weren't doctored, Scully. We saw evidence of the hauntings in in the school on Halloween.”

“You saw evidence, Mulder,” she says quietly, trying not to think about all the things she has seen, all the things she's probably imagined. “I didn't see anything. And whatever you saw wasn't necessarily connected to the videos.”

He pokes her in the side again, making a face. “Well, whatever you believe, Scully, I am interested to see what this proof is, whether it's a video or not. But I'm questioning what motivation Ryan would have to lie at this point.”

Scully taps her fingers on the wheel as they come to a stop at a stop light. “Isn't Ryan's uncle due for parole soon?” she asks finally.

His forehead furrows in thought, and he nods. “Yeah, I think he is. I'm not sure how soon, or if it's already happened… Why do you ask?”

“I think it's just interesting,” she says. “That Jared Caruthers getting out of prison is coinciding with Ryan Caruthers being afraid that someone is going to get hurt.”

---

Ryan Caruthers is waiting at the restaurant, as promised, fidgeting in a corner booth with nervous energy. It's only been a couple of months since they've seen the kid, but it feels like an eternity to Mulder, what with everything that's happened. He looks exhausted, dark circles under his eyes, and he doesn't greet them with much more than a tight, polite nod. That seems to solidify the truthfulness of Ryan's fearful email in Mulder's head; he's clearly scared out of his wits and trying like hell to hide it.

He's got a soda, a plate of mozzarella sticks, and a closed laptop on the table, and he's tapping his fingers on the top when they sit. “Hey,” he mutters. “Agent Mulder. Agent Scully.”

“How are you doing, Ryan?” Scully asks, almost surprisingly gentle.

He shrugs, nearly aggressively. “Kind of explained it in the email.”

“You said you thought that Joy Seers was possessed,” says Mulder. “What made you suspect that?”

“All the weird shit she's said or done in the times I've seen her since she woke up,” Ryan says pointedly, tapping the corner of the laptop. “She's been acting really, really weird. When I went to see her in the hospital, she told me that it wasn't over. What the hell does that mean?”

“So… you think it was the ghost telling you that it wasn't over?” Mulder asks. “What do you think it is?” Scully bumps her foot against his under the table, which probably means, This sounds insane, Mulder. He nudges her foot back with his and otherwise ignores her, listening to Ryan.

“This,” says Ryan, waving his hand wildly. “The torment it's been inflicting on me, whatever. I think the ghost wants to hurt me somehow, and it's building up to something big. I…” He swallows anxiously and ducks his head, like they won't believe him. “I saw it possess my Aunt Annie. It was going to make her stab herself with scissors. I can't risk that happening to anyone else.” He wipes his eyes quickly, in a spastic motion that suggests he doesn't want anyone to see it. “It already got my parents,” he says quietly.

Mulder gulps uncomfortably, looking away. Trying not to think of the three body bags they rolled out of the Van de Kamps's house that night, two deaths and one near-death that are probably his fault. The only family his son has ever known, gone.

Beside him, Scully asks gently, “Ryan, does this have anything to do with your uncle getting out of prison?”

“No!” Ryan snaps, immediately. And then he seems to backtrack a bit, reconsidering. “Not in the way you're thinking. He didn't murder my parents, okay? If anything, he's in danger because of me. Not the other way around.”

“You think the ghost is going to target your aunt and uncle,” says Mulder.

“Yeah, or anyone I care about. Me, even. I dunno. I just know it isn't safe.” The kid grits his teeth, works his jaw back and forth. “And I think it might use Joy Seers to do it. The way it used Uncle Jared.”

Scully holds up her hand, as if to say, Stop. “Ryan, it isn't that we don't want to help you,” she says. “It isn't. But I'm just… not sure what we can do. It's not as if there's anyone we can arrest. I'm just not sure… what did you call us here to do, sweetie?”

Ryan looks briefly disgusted, although Mulder isn't sure if it's at the sweetie or Scully's reluctance to help. “Isn't it obvious?” he asks, his voice full of disgust as well. “I want you to get rid of the ghost.”

Scully does look surprised at that, and Mulder has to admit that he is, too. “You want us to, ah… get rid of the ghost?” he says hesitatingly.

“Yeah. Exorcise it or whatever.” Ryan crosses his arms defensively, shoots them a defiant look. “I researched you, you know. I know about all the shit you've dealt with. You've gotta know some way to get rid of a ghost.”

Scully clears her throat, either from uncomfortableness or from stifling a laugh. Maybe from both. Mulder says, “Um, Ryan, I think you might have us confused with exorcists. Or ghost hunters.”

“Well, what are you if you aren't that?”

“We're FBI agents,” Scully says bluntly.

“Who investigate weird, paranormal shit,” Ryan fills in stubbornly. “You have more experience with this stuff than anyone else I can think of! You gotta be able to figure out how to get rid of a ghost.”

“Ryan, even if we could perform some sort of… exorcism or banishment...” Mulder begins delicately, “... I don't know that we could displace a ghost that is this… entrenched in the history of this town. This isn't just a minor poltergeist, or a recently deceased malevolent spirit; this is a well-known legend that has existed for hundreds of years. I wouldn't even begin to know how to…”

“You think I give a shit?” Ryan hisses, so loud that the couple two tables down shoots them a strange look. “The Specter has been tormenting me for my entire life! It wants to hurt me and my family! And my parents died trying to get rid of it.”

Mulder flinches, automatically, even though he already knew that. And he can practically feel Scully's flinch beside him. Ryan's voice softens, his face still and serious. “So I can't do it,” he says quietly. “Just banishing it from my house ended in a sprained ankle and my aunt nearly getting killed.”

Scully exhales slowly beside Mulder. He can feel her tension, can feel her thinking; she's thinking about their son, he knows. Thinking about their son, wherever he is. “Listen,” she starts, gentle again, “Ryan…”

“I have proof, okay? I have proof of how dangerous it is.” He slides the laptop across the table at them insistently. “Back in November, I made a video of a seance I did. I was fooling around with a Ouija board, whatever…. Anyways, I got it on camera, and I tried to send it to you guys back then, but it wouldn't send. So it's saved on here.” He taps the laptop with one finger.

Mulder reaches hesitantly towards the laptop, but Ryan shakes his head insistently. “Watch it in private,” he says. “If you watch it, you'll understand why you've got to get rid of the ghost.”

“You want us to take your laptop?” Scully asks.

“I want you to watch the video,” Ryan says pointedly, motioning to the laptop again. “Please. Please just watch the video.”

Mulder takes the laptop then, pulling it to their side of the table. “We'll take a look, okay?” he says. “We'll try to figure something out. But this might not work. I don't know if we can actually get rid of this ghost.”

The kid crosses his arms, sullenly and stubborn. “Well, I think it's worth a try.”

Scully nudges her foot against his again, which is probably an indication on her part that he shouldn't give false hope. And Mulder doesn't want to give false hope. But he also doesn't want to ignore the possibility, the chance he has at making this stop. This family—this town—has been tormented by this ghost for years. Hell, he's had his own share of torment from this ghost. If he can do something about it, if there's even the slightest possibility that he can help, he's not going to ignore it. “We’ll do the best we can,” he promises.

---

They head to the hotel after their meeting, picking up some takeout on the way and opting for one room, as has been their practice since the case in Henrico County. (Whereas Scully may have been paranoid at another point in their life about disapproval from their superiors, a mark on their record or rumors or getting fired, she doesn't care now. Their marriage record is public domain, and if Skinner or Kersh or anyone higher than them cares, than surely they would've said something already.)

In the room, Scully sits up against the pillows and digs through the takeout box with chopsticks. Mulder crouches at the end of the bed, looking for Ryan's laptop for the video. She sighs, a little affectionately, and says what she's been thinking ever since they left the restaurant: “Mulder, I'm not sure our response to what happened back there was very wise.”

“You mean promising Ryan I'd do my best to get rid of the ghost for him?” Mulder asks wryly, scrolling through a list of files. “You're probably right. But I didn't know what else to do, Scully. That kid wasn't going to let up, and I want to help him out if I can. I think we can both agree that this haunting—phenomena, whatever—needs to stop.”

Scully does find it hard to argue with that. She shifts in place, setting the takeout box on the bedside table and crossing her legs. “I just don't know how we can stop this, Mulder. We're not exorcists. We have no experience in things like this, even if this phenomena is being caused by something we could stop. I just don't understand how—”

“Check it out, Scully, I found it,” Mulder says suddenly, waving at her, and he scoots up on the bed, clicking on a video with a Ouija board taking up most of the frame.

The first thing they see is Ryan's hand, moving what looks like a wedding photo, tucking it under the board. Scully swallows, almost painfully; she's assuming that the people in the photo are Ryan's parents. Ryan swirls the planchette around the board a couple of times, the planchette scraping the board, before inhaling sharply and saying, “If there are spirits here tonight, please make yourself known using the board and only the board.”

But nothing happens. Or at least not anything that Scully can discern as paranormal. She can hear Ryan sigh, and then the planchette starts to move again—she assumes that he is moving it, because it's moving pretty gently. He spells out Mom and moves the planchette to the D before it yanks hard, spelling H-E-L-L-O. Mulder jerks to attention beside her, which she assumes is an indication that he believes the ghost is moving it. They hear Ryan say, “H-hello? Mom, Dad? Is that you?” The planchette moves to YES.

“Mulder, Ryan could very well be faking this,” Scully whispers, just out of caution. As a child, she'd been to plenty of slumber parties where someone moves the planchette and says it's a ghost. (She'll admit, she doesn't know what Ryan's motivation for faking a seance would be, but it's certainly a possibility.)

“I don’t think this is fake, Scully,” says Mulder, and he motions to the screen again. Ryan is whispering something inaudibly, and the planchette begins to move: first to YES, and then spelling out W-E L-O-V-E Y-O-U. Scully gulps.

“I love you, too,” Ryan says softly, his voice quivering. Scully hears the faint rumble of thunder in the background. Ryan clears his throat faintly and says, “Mom, Dad… I need to ask you something. If you remember it.”

Nothing moves on the board. Mulder leans closer to the screen, watching the video carefully. Ryan speaks again, unsteadily. “That night… uh, with Uncle Jared… did he… Did he… did he mean to kill you? O-or was it not him?” Something like lightning flashes in the background. Ryan continues, stammering: “Was it the Specter? Was the Specter using him? D-did the Specter kill you?”

The planchette moves to NO. Scully would tempted to point out this denial to Mulder, since she's never put a lot of stock into the idea that Jared was possessed, but since the source of said denial is a Ouija board, she keeps her mouth shut.

Ryan is protesting the board, asking if Jared really is responsible, and when the planchette slides to YES, he begins to deny it vehemently. The planchette moves more rapidly, hitting the YES again and again, almost violently. Mulder's breath catches in his throat, and he touches Scully's arm in what seems like excitement or anxiousness. He's watching with his eyes practically glued to the screen of the laptop.

“Mulder,” Scully starts gently, “do you think that this is real? I mean, how do we know this isn't all faked? There could be wires… magnets…”

“Scully, look,” he says, nudging her. The planchette is moving more rapidly now, shooting back and forth between letters—spelling a word, Scully assumes. Ryan's hand reaches for the planchette, and it goes flying, off-screen, and lands with a thunk on something that sounds vaguely human. There's a crash of thunder, and then the feed freezes. Just freezes, static slicing across the screen, the new silence almost eerie.

Mulder, tense as a taut wire, mutters, “What the—?” and reaches for the laptop mouse. But before he can touch it, it moves, jerking back violently of its own accord.

Scully jumps, letting out a startled yelp, as the laptop goes flying across the room and hits the wall with an almost sickening crack.

#xf rewatch #xf fanfic #i wrote this

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yiulee999 · 5 years

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Hey! What do you think of OPM season 2? I still love it & am looking forward to next weeks new episode but i just wish Saitama had more screen time ;-(

hey nonny~!

apologies for the late reply, its a combo of not getting notifications (tumblr u useless trashbucket) and being on surgery rotation (i miss sleeping so much)

firstly, i am truly glad you still love it and look forward to the new episodes!!! 💖💖💖please dont let anything i say from this point on dissuade you from that enjoyment

THAT BEING SAID

///cut for length

ive only watched up to the second episode, and i am having Such Difficulties convincing myself to keep watching. i know my rxns to ep 1 were overall pretty positive and I stand by it but the more i watch the more the Cringe/Hypercritique starts take over.

Turns out, the art style had a bigger impact than i thought on the length of which i enjoy shows. personally, i just really like when anime/shows have a happy marriage between writing and artwork. and when show directors know how to interpret writing, how to set up a scene (the angle, the music, the pacing), and then communicate with artists who have the skills to bring that idea to life using the medium they’re given -- that’s when writing becomes storytelling. OPM’s writing is still fantastic since they’re going off ONE (whereas GoT has the opposite problem where the production value is 4K and the writing is early 2000s livejournal/fanfiction lol god why is everyone dropping the ball in 2019??)

As for the art, since opm switched to jc staff and shingo natsume & co. left for other projects ( ;;_____;; im emo ), its inevitable we would see a drop in animation quality and i find myself constantly getting distracted by things i never used to get concerned about in the first season (bc of the high bar of expectations set by s1 artists/directors, like theres just no way jc staff would match up it to all of that and i feel bad for them, they’re trying their best but that doesn’t mean theyre immune to critique on the artistic liberties that they’ve taken that i feel as a viewer, may not have been the best choice?)

the shading: no, just, unnecessary and distracting and why is it the center of saitamas face, im by far no expert in lighting but a bish can tell something doesnt look right???

the shading pt II: color choices. just gonna say i was not expecting sai’s ‘hair shirt’ in ep 1 to be bright-ass neon green, it was a little jarring at first and i miss him in red ;-; i get hes supposed to have poor fashion choices but i dont see him as the type to pick something that stands out so much in the crowd, like he likes to be left alone. NEON doesnt really relay ‘hi dont mind me im just barely existing here lol’

the shading pt III: genos arms/neck. okaY so the bby looks good in screenshots. like he’s shiny and nice to look at when nothings moving. bUT this is animation?? movement of objections is different from still life manga so making every single scene almost 99% like murata’s panels translates a little awkwardly to the screen (like staff is lucky bc murata’s a force of nature with his panels playing out like a movie for ref). but when genos moves, the arms are just distracting bc everything around him is drawn simply without shadows so they stand out by themselves and i (visually) forget about the rest of him haha.

the pacing: it feels scripted, person A says this so we’ll show person A in the shot, then person B is saying something so we have to cut to person B, etc etc like keeping pretty steady to manga lines to the point where i was starting to get bored bc i knew what was coming. it was really intervaled? like someone had to be saying something at a certain effect and i think s1 had more dramatic pauses (lol) but thats how you can place emphasis on scenes to have an emotional impact if the character doesnt say anything and just let the soundtrack do some talking and the cadence of the script will change too (im 10000% talking about the sunset scene in s1 god bless. like it was slow, there was MOOD there wasn’t any rush and really gave the viewer time to think about the relationship between the two characters and what that moment meant to each of them) i feel like there were several scenes that could have been more like in the scene where sai protected fubuki, could have been a little more dramatically emphasized (aka just a pause) so the viewer could get a chance to understand that he purprosefully shielded her or when genos says that strong heroes are drawn to saitama--bUT nope its the same pace, like c l o c k w o r k just like my t eARS--

the fight scenes: how do i even start. the one scene that got me INTO opm (like watching the anime, reading the manga, drawing fanart, writing fanfic, reading fanfics etc) was kickstarted by the fight scene between genos and saitama in s1 that was circulating on tumblr a while back. i thought the characters were interesting and the fight was badass and it just looked SO COOL. (also the forehead flick at the end just kinda sealed my fate). going from that to s2 fight scenes where its mostly cut scenes and freeze scenes?? where theres a cut out behind the characters back?? during a fight scene????? this isn’t a calling card or an anime opening??? i dont understand. when they dont do cut scenes, its interesting but my initial impression is just underwhelmed. i can find good parts but it feels like i have to replay the scene to notice it? theres also an overwhelming amount of graphics/cgi manipulation that overpowers the actual art sometimes. its lacking some of the fluidity that comes from hand drawn fight scenes from first season. OTL

the sound directing: so i thought that the mood just felt off for certain scenes and the sound didn’t seem to support the scene as well (unless it was like the character’s theme or smtg) and i looked it up and the sound director was also replaced (Yoshikazu Iwanami replacing Shoji Hata). i have no idea if the sound director is also in charge of character lines but there were parts were fubuki was monologuing and i had no idea she was inner monologuing, i thought she was talking out loud and that just took extra effort on my part to re-orient myself (im nitpitcking i know but its just how i watch shows lol)

there are still some parts i like about the animation:

fubuki looks bangin and i love her👌👗

all of this just made me realize how insanely lucky we were to have an amazing s1 and just have it exist and how i really could not care less if they had just waited forever to make s2 as long as we had the same crew come back. but anime is still a business and the quicker they dish out merch/seasons, the more money they can bring in. which they do in the short run but they would bring in more if they spent a little more on quality in the long run and it becomes one of those classics that ppl will rewatch and keep recommending to ppl who want to get into anime and oh my god we’re never gonna have that now, are we. if im gonna rec it to a friend its gonna be ‘read the manga!’ or ‘just watch s1!’ uGH. its just an unfortunate situation, its not one person’s fault either, so many factors go into what made opm s1 so spectacular and seeing s2 just made me appreciate s1 more. i guess im happy to have a s2 regardless?

i’ll still watch to support (and bc i like suiryuu and wanna see sai in a karate gi and wig lol). maybe i just have to get used to the new style.

so in summary,

#this got outta hand real quicc #sorry nonny u really didnt ask for this😅😅😅#i just have paragraphs of emotions #my inbox is open hit me w discourse if u disagree lol #this is just imho #Anonymous

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dustward · 5 years

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Episode 12 - Memories (pt.2)

Well, this is it. I really hope there’s a season 2 someday, but there doesn’t *need* to be. Anyways, Phos had been waiting well over a week to get the chance to “talk” with a Lunarian. It went about as well as you’d expect.

Props to them for having the exact tools necessary to safely catch one without needing to destroy the lot of them. They could always try this tactic out again later, assuming the Lunarians don’t anticipate it or find a way to counter it.

These things have pupils, eh? It makes them seem a bit less.. heartless, but we can only guess at what this really means. The smaller Lunarians always felt like some sort of hivemind, but they aren’t really. At least, I don’t think they are. Would they care enough for their kin to wish to avenge them? What’s the significance of the larger ones? Are they individuals only when fragmented, sort of like with Shiro? That’s all Phos seems to get for now - more questions.

Cinnabar’s always watching and looking out for Phos. Phos probably could’ve handled this, but the gesture is appreciated, even if it kinda cut short their plan. “F...” the lone Lunarian said. No idea what it could mean on its own, but it’s a lead.

I like the parallel here that can be compared with Cinnabar’s imitation of Phos with their own substance from back in episode 3. They really were made for each other, and it only makes more and more sense as time marches on.

Phos’ promise forever lingers on Cinnabar’s mind. Shouldn’t you have maybe returned that? I guess it stopped mattering once Phos lost their encyclopedia job.

Such a nice, serious moment completely unraveled by Cinnabar’s kneejerk reaction. Ahhhh, I love these two..

The series started with a promise. Just when you think Phos would let us down, they’ve come up with a solution. It’s the best way to end the anime, really. Despite all the hell they went through to be put in this position, you could say it was all necessary in the end, in order to hold true to their word.

It was subtle, yet obvious to us how Cinnabar felt as Phos kept running around, going through all these changes while not having an answer for them. Phos might’ve underestimated, maybe even forgotten the exact wording of what they said, but it’s no shock that Cinnabar repeated those words to themselves time and time again.

It’s not quite what they wanted, but they’re nonetheless happy to see Phos keep their promise.

Cinnabar’s the only one Phos can trust with this, but that’s not the only reason they asked them. It’s not because they owed it to them to find a new job, either. It’s because Cinnabar’s shown themselves to be incredibly "prudent and clever.” Even if Rutile, Bort, and the others were similarly sharp, I’d wager Phos trust’s Cinnabar’s judgement and advice more than any others’.

Phos might’ve gotten wiser and more mindful themselves, but they know Cinnabar would be the one to spot something they missed. What they’re going through, doubting everything and everyone, that’s also a feeling Cinnabar’s familiar with. It won’t be a fun job, but it’s most definitely something only Cinnabar could do. It’s a cause, a purpose, far more valuable than a night’s watch. They’ll also be able to enjoy that feeling of being valued and of use to Phos. The feeling might be mutual, even, as they certainly aren’t okay with whatever secrets Kongo might be hiding. To have someone they can *maybe* confide in, that has to count for something as well.

Especially if this endeavor does lead to some answers.

They say they feel distrust, but is that just a feeling that’s been building up inside them? To say this, is Cinnabar attempting to break through that wall of doubt they’ve surrounded themselves in? I trust Phos, and I hope Cinnabar can come to as well.

What follows is one last sequence that serves to tie things up in a book ends fashion. The end of.. book 1, we’ll frame this as. I’ll lay down some predictions and look forward to seeing how right/wrong I am when I finally tackle the manga.

Despite Bort being Bort, Zircon seems to be their own harshest critic. They’ll likely surpass and surprise in ways we hadn’t anticipated, now that they have the freedom to do so. Bort’s yet to meet any true hardships, and I wonder when that’ll change.

We’re given glimpses of many others going about their daily lives. There’s no telling when and which of them will get their time in the spotlight, but just having them all interact brings me joy.

The winds of change continue to blow. Kongo was always a good caretaker. I can only hope the secrets they’re hiding are only for the others’ own protection, but they have a right to know if they were to ask. The fact you refuse even that may be your greatest mistake, and I hope it doesn’t come with serious consequence. Jade’s just trying to help keep this place afloat, so they shouldn’t get in the way, even if they interact the most with Kongo, and might even be considered the most loyal now.

I’m so damn happy they replayed that opening scene. I loved it as much the fourth, tenth, twentieth time. Phos is no longer laying in the grass, letting the days pass them by. Each day is important, and each day has purpose. Their changes aren’t finished, and seeing how far removed they already are from their old self.. it leaves a bittersweet feeling, you know?

We all gotta grow up and mature sooner or later, but it’s important to remember what we had. To lose that would be to lose ourselves. You did indeed live a spoiled life, Phos, but you turned out alright in the end. If you can forgive your former self for their decisions, maybe you can better face the ones you’ll soon have to make.

When I first saw that Phos was gonna go through a transformation I was interested. After seeing it unfold I was ever so grateful I gave the series a chance. I’ve got a weak spot for characters like this - characters that have to undergo such a drastic, yet believable change. Phos will probably be my favorite of this type from this day forward, and I couldn’t think of a better way to honor them.

The colors, the sounds, the music, the characters, the setting, the themes, the story. I loved all of it. I likely always will. After this rewatch, Land of the Lustrous has probably become my favorite anime of all time.

It’s unlikely the manga will change my view on the anime itself, but it makes me wonder if that love will deepen more. With the tone of the story, how much more will it hurt? Will the ending be satisfying? Those are all questions for another day.

I don’t know if anyone’s ever gonna read all these personal thoughts I’ve had on the series, and frankly I don’t care. I’m just glad I took the time to take such a closer look at it. If anyone has bothered to read these.. thank you for listening.

#hnk spoilers #dustward rewatches hnk #long post

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mysticsrose · 5 years

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tag games pt. 4

i was tagged by @thestral tysm!!

the rules are: answer the questions and tag five people!

5 Things You’ll Find In My Bag

my wallet

keys

brush

tissues

earphones

5 Things You’ll Find In My Bedroom

books

a lot of pillows

notebooks

perfumes

stationery

5 Of My Favorite Things

tv shows/books/movies

music

photoshop

food

my bed

5 Things I’m Currently Into

skam (again)

a lot of new music

s11 of doctor who

idk

5 Things On My To-Do List

study hard for the midterms

get back to editing

get active again on tumblr and instagram

read a few books til the end of the year

catch up on some of my shows

get to know me tag

tagged by: @lehsnherr rules: tag ten followers you want to know better!

name: anna star sign: gemini height: 5′7″ what’s your middle name: don’t have put your itunes on shuffle. what are the first 4 songs that popped up? 1. goner by twenty one pilots 2. daddy issues by the neighbourhood 3. the good side by troye sivan 4. haunting by halsey grab the book nearest you and turn to page 23. what’s line 17? ’Well met, my friend’, she purred, ‘Well met, indeed.’ have you ever had a poem or song written about you? nope when was the last time you played air guitar? don’t remember lol who is your celebrity crush? i have so many what’s a sound you hate + a sound you love? hate: crunching the chalk on the board, love: violin do you believe in ghosts? i guess how about aliens? yes definitely do you drive? i have the license but i haven’t driven for some time but i will soon again finally if so, have you ever crashed? nope what was the last book you read? queen of shadows i believe or was it tatbilb, not sure haha do you like the smell of gasoline? not really what was the last movie you saw? rewatched tatbilb a few weeks ago what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? i tripped over a long metal stick (don’t ask) and bruised my knee really badly, i still have a scar and that happened more than 10 years ago haha do you have any obsessions right now? many haha do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? depends on what they’ve done haha in a relationship? nope, forever alone haha :(

tagging: @lahnister @mindfulelys @oliviasdunham @blackwidocw @lokiofasgcrd +anyone who want to do it

#ahh i'm so sleepy #i'm gonna continue tomorrow #tag game

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gotfuckingseven · 7 years

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Undercover Pt. 6 ~ BTS!MAFIA AU

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. BTS

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 1,241

WARNING: MENTIONS OF TORTURE AND RAPE

PT. 1 | PT. 2 | PT. 3 | PT. 4 | PT. 5 | PT. 7 | EPILOGUE

It had been days, maybe weeks since you’d been locked up by Jimin. You were fed twice a day and usually refused to eat it. Because of that, you’d lost a bit of weight.

You stared at the clock on the wall, focusing on it ticking with each passing second. Your arms and legs were covered in cuts, bruises, and new scars. When you first met Jimin he seemed so innocent and caring, you could never begin to fathom that he’d be capable of doing such horrible things. Every time he touched you, spoke to you, looked at you, it made you sick. He felt no remorse and even had a smirk on his face each time he walked in the room.

Jungkook was incredibly stressed, to say the least. The bags under his eyes show how sleep deprived he is from doing whatever he can to find you. He eats maybe once a day and is suffering from incredibly quick weight loss. Hoseok forced him to eat after telling him, “If you don’t eat you’ll be too weak to go find Y/N.”

Yoongi and Taehyung reached out to everyone they knew to see if anyone had any connections to Jimin and could try to find out what the fuck was going on.

Jungkook knew that Jimin knew. It was obvious that Jimin wanted him to know, if he didn’t he would’ve still been there, searching everywhere he could for you. But instead, he was beating you, forcing you to respond to his questions that you had no answer to.

“Jungkook, you can’t keep doing this to yourself,” Seokjin says, walking in on Jungkook quickly snorting some cocaine. Jungkook shrugs him off and leans down to finish the rest of it but Seokjin pulls him up and sighs.

“Let’s go eat.”

Jungkook wanted to protest, rewatch the camera footage again, but he was being pulled out of the room and down the hall. He picked at his food and the rest of the boys just stared at him.

“You’re going to die Jungkook,” Taehyung says. “When we find (Y/N) you won’t be able to fight Jimin because you’ll be too weak,” Namjoon adds.

“SHE’S DEAD!” Jungkook yells, slapping his plate off of the table. The room went completely silent as they watched Jungkook break down into tears, quietly begging for (Y/N) to come back to him.

Yoongi clears his throat and nods at Taehyung and Namjoon, a silent ‘come with me’ was exchanged and they all walked out of the room, leaving Jungkook, Hoseok, and Seokjin alone.

Namjoon closes the door behind him and looks at Yoongi, waiting for him to speak.

“I have a lead on (Y/N)’s location.”

______________________

You silently cried the new bruises on your arms and legs formed from countless kicks and punches from Jimin. It had been three weeks and Jimin hadn’t been able to get any information out of you.

He stared at you, his gaze was soft as he realized how much damage he had done to you. Your arms and legs were covered with scars, bruises, and new cuts all from him. “Oh my god (Y/N),” he softly says, picking you up from the ground and moving your hair from out of your face. You started shaking when you felt him touch you and you squeezed your eyes shut, not wanting to see that face you hated so much.

He carried you around before he set you down on a toilet seat and locked the door behind him. You opened your eyes and saw Jimin getting you a bath ready. He let the tub fill up with hot water and walked over to you. His hands shook as he touched you with extreme delicacy, not wanting to hurt you any more than he already had. He slowly pulled off your dirty t-shirt and shorts, hands shaking even worse as he went to take off your panties.

Realization finally hit Jimin and it was like a slap in the face. He had violated you in more ways than one and you’d be scarred forever… because of him.

He set you down in the tub and smiled softly as he could see your very tense body visibly relax in the hot water. Jimin sat on the edge of the tub and washed your hair while you washed your body. The soap burned when it came in contact with the fresh cuts but it felt good, at least they wouldn’t get infected.

It scared you how nice Jimin was being, he was never like this. When you two were together he’d bathe with you and just hold you in his arms, softly kissing your neck as you washed your arms. It used to give you shivers down the spine from the excitement of just being able to spend time with him, but now the shivers down your spine were of fear.

Jimin’s chest tightened when he saw how scarred your body was. It looked horrible and he realized he probably ruined your self-confidence forever. “You look beautiful (Y/N),” he says, pulling you out of the water.

You say nothing as he dries you off and then hands you some fresh clothes to change into. He sighs, looking down at his feet in disappointment. He had ruined you forever and had finally realized it.

____________________

“I have a lead on (Y/N)’s location,” Yoongi says. Namjoon and Taehyung stare at him in shock, “Why tell us and not Jungkook?”

“I need you two to go check out the location before I tell him, if he finds out he’ll leave immediately and it’ll be a suicide mission.”

They both nod in agreement, Jungkook would flip his shit if he found out where she is. “I hacked into the cameras and it’s confirmed that (Y/N) is with Jimin. She’s in terrible shape but she’s alive.”

Yoongi pulls up the current camera footage in the bathroom, showing Jimin watching as she got dressed. “Did he-“ Namjoon starts. Yoongi shakes his head, “He’s done a lot of damage but he hasn’t raped her.”

They sigh in relief, glad that he didn’t completely violate her, but she’d be scarred for the rest of her life.

Yoongi writes down the location and hands it to Taehyung, “I’m trusting you two.” Taehyung and Namjoon nod, determined not to fail.

“Now go,” Yoongi orders. He watches as they both leave, immediately acting normal, like they don’t know anything.

Yoongi was just about to shut down the computer as Jungkook walked in the room. His eyes quickly drifted to the screen and he nearly passed out. “I-is that (Y/N)?”

Yoongi was at a loss for words and froze, trying to think of an explanation. Jungkook pushed him out of the way and clicked on the camera footage and saw Jimin with faded orange hair carrying you down a hall. “Where is she?” He asks, hands starting to shake.

“Jungkook-“

“WHERE IS SHE GODDAMMIT?” Jungkook yells, slamming a fist down on the desk.

“She’s at the old warehouse! Jimin and whoever he works for are camping out there!” Jungkook takes off before Yoongi can stop him. Yoongi runs a hand through his hair before swiping the keyboard off of the desk, “Goddammit!”

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moesstruggle · 7 years

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Random Tag

Thank you for tagging me @kateheartskpop!! this helped me avoid revising ;’)

Originally posted by jikookdetails

[Rules : complete the survey and tag five people at the end]

1. Are you named after someone?

Nop! My mom just liked the name Nadja :)

2. When was the last time you cried?

I think it was Tuesday? hahah I’m usually not an easy crier though.

3. Do you like your handwriting?

Hmm I don’t think it’s awful but also nothing special sooo I’m okay with it :’)

4. What is your favourite lunch meat?

Chickeeeeen!! That is such a random question lol love it.

5. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?

Yes, I think I would. In general I’m a good listener and often put my friends needs before mine. Bad for me, good for them :D

6. Do you use sarcasm?

In real life - 100%. My family always says that I inherited this special dry sarcasm from my dad. Online, though, I tend not to as I’m not that confident in my English (I guess?)

7. Do you still have your tonsils?

Oui. Hope I never need to get them removed to be honest ;-

8. Would you bungee jump?

I wouldn’t say no to it! When an opportunity comes up I would definitely try it once :)

9. What is your favourite kind of cereal?

I don’t eat cereal… cause I only like the unhealthy ones -> EVERYTHING CHOCOLATE IS A INSTANT YAS!

10. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Nope. Whenever I need to put them on, however, I untie them so I get annoyed with myself for not doing it in the first place^^

11. Do you think you’re a strong person?

Depends. How should I explain this? I’m strong when it comes to problems that I need to deal with on my own but I get very easily concerned and insecure when facing problems or fights with friends.

12. What is your favourite ice-cream?

Forever and always stracciatella and cookies.

13. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Mmmmm their all around vibe I think? If someone seems to be confident or rather shy… things like that.

14. Red or pink?

Reeeed - as it is my favourite colour in general!!

15. What is the least favourite physical thing about yourself?

Oh boy… Am I supposed to only say one thing? lol Then I would say my overall figure - especially my hips and stomach.

[ Because it’s important that this is also asked: ]

15 Pt 2 What is your favourite physical thing about yourself?

My eyes.

16. What colour pants and shoes are you wearing right now?

Blue and white stripped PJ pants and no shoes cause it’s hella hot right now grrr.

17. What is the last thing you ate?

Strawberries

18. What are you listening to right now?

My TV is playing right next to me and I’m watching this show called ‘Shopping Queen’ (realising how not fashionable I am).

19. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

You already know the answer friends!

—> R.E.D.R.E.D.R.E.D.

20. Favourite smell?

The smell of an old library and fresh (bed) sheets.

21. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

My sister - she called me to come and pick her up again yay

22. Favourite sport to watch?

Rhythmic gymastics. I’ve been training on my own for 13 years so it will forever be my favourite sport! *-*

23. Hair colour?

Boring brown. As a kid I was fully blond … I honestly don’t know what happened :’(

24. Eye colour?

A mix of dark green and brown.

25. Do you were contacts?

Unfortunately yes! Since I was 12 years old I believe. My eye sight gets worse and worse. currently at -4,75.

26. Favourite food to eat?

Pasta all the way. Give me every kind of pasta and you are my best friend.

27. Scary movies or comedy?

Scary movies!!! It’s so so hard to find really good ones these days. I especially love to watch them with my mom cause when they are bad we turn them into comedies ourselves ;’)

28. Last movie you watched?

‘The Ring 2′

29. What colour shirt you wearing?

Grey PJ shirt with a panda on it :’)

30. Summer or winter?

I prefer winter over summer!! (Where is the ‘fall’ option?)

31. Hugs or kisses?

Hugs with the right person are the best, no doubt!!

32. What book are you currently reading?

Ufff I haven’t had time to read these last few weeks and now I need to prepare for exams :/ But I’ll for sure use my whole summer break to make up for it.. there are a bunch of books waiting to be read in my room PLUS maybe another Harry Potter marathon ihihihihih

33. Who do you miss right now?

Physically missing this person all throughout the year - @galaxyakmu

34. Who is on your mouse pad?

I don’t have a mouse pad.

35. What is the last TV programme you watched?

As in series? Today I rewatched some ‘Lie to me’ episodes but the last show I fully watched through was ‘Riverdale’ :’) Oh and currently also watching ‘Produce 101 season 2′ :D

36. What is the best sound?

The sound of rain at night!! Also just last week I’ve been lying on my dad’s terrace and it was absolutely quiet besides the soothing sound of the wind chime in the woods.

37. Rolling Stones or The Beatles?

Same with you Kate hahah. I know more about The Beatles so I’m gonna go with them ;-

38. What is the furthest you have ever traveled?

Scotland - but next year it’ll be South Korea thihih

39. Do you have a special talent?

Special talent? What am I supposed to say :o Mmm.. I can pick up all kind of stuff off the floor with my foot? HAHAHA see? That’s the only thing that comes in my mind when I think of the term ‘my special talent’. Sad, sad…

40. Where were you born?

Vienna, Austria

Only thing left is tagging 5 people! Problem is I don’t even have that many friends on here soooo hahah I’ll just tag these two sunshines~ only if you want to of course

@galaxyakmu @taeandhisbeautifuleyes

#random tag #bored #thank you kate!#<3

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thesecondmate · 3 years

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reading: wk50-52

3 weeks + 3 journal entries for how i was gonna start this post. in essence: goodbye 2020, my god has it been a rollercoaster, albeit one sloping gently downhill into familiar melancholy. i never thought i’d feel like this again, yet it’s like slipping into a warm ocean where i can float forever, safe in the salt and waves lapping at my face.

stay tuned a ‘best of 2020′ list and what i want to read next year that isn’t my damn textbooks. and maybe some personal updates depending on how much wine i drink this evening. happy new year, my loves.

week 50: penultimate week of o+g rotation: i would say the end is in sight but in fact i have lost all motivation, hate my degree (well, specifically, the course administration), had a breakdown outside my exam followed by the most embarrassing brain freeze ever during a panel discussion that i was speak on, took several days to reply to everyone about said exam breakdown, am convinced i will fail my 5th year exams, aaaand dealt with all of this by handpainting christmas cards all saturday. welcome 2 the fun house !

week 51: final week of placement: i struggled through the final week of my placement (literally popped into my placement for 2 hours to have a tutorial, get signed off, and collect my things), failed my mock osce, and went home. so unbelievably drained.

week 52: christmas & post-christmas liminality: feeling vaguely restored by the virtue of reading many books, watching many movies, curling up by the fire, eating many christmas cookies, and having barely any social interaction outside of my family and our cat and dog. still absolutely drained; still very terrified of my next placement and of failing this year. all i want is to move to a city where no one knows me and i can be something new, but alas. eighteen months until i graduate; forty-two until i finish my foundation programme and can truly set off into the big blue yonder of the world.

books

✩ The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - Steig Larsson (finished) so i actually would have much preferred this to have kept its original swedish title, ‘män som hatar kvinnor’ (’men who hate women’) - it’d have been less manic pixie dream girl and more reflective of larsson’s point, even if larsson is v guilty of the former. it’s a good book - larsson’s grasp of plot is really excellent and i really enjoyed the twists and turns, even if the pacing of the big reveal was a little too rushed for my liking. however, i find his characters a little off - many of them are great, especially berger & henrik vanger, but i find blomkvist a little self-insert at times (he’s a financial journalist! but not like other financial journalists! and he has a sexy editor lady with whom he has an open relationship! and he sleeps with this cool hacker girl who immediately trusts him!), and lisbeth is...very ‘traumatised manic pixie cyberpunk girl’ if you ask me. which is a little uncomfortable. also not to mention the rape scene - which is vile. overall: good, intrigued to see if larsson will flesh lisbeth out to be less of a caricature in the sequels.

✩ The Orphan Master’s Son - Adam Johnson (finished) this book has lost none of its magic for me, absolutely none. if anything, re-reading it a few years later has made me appreciate so many things: the characters (even more than before! if that’s possible!!), the abject heartbreak of the second mate and his wife, the trip to texas (i got far more out of the political side this time), the relationships in the camps (the captain of the junma and li mongnan - hold me whilst my heart BREAKS), the way that johnson plays with narrative from the loudspeakers to the interrogator to the dreamlike quality of jun do’s own new life in pt 2. as a teenager, i was fascinated by the setting, the double-farce of the propaganda vs life, the passages about the second mate’s wife and her silken yellow dress - i thought that jun do was a bland narrator, which i now see couldn’t have been further from the truth. i have so, so much respect for johnson as an author and this book really is a formative part of who i am, in ways that i could not express.

✩ Dark Matter - Michelle Paver (finished) another re-read. michelle paver is the queen of ghost stories and things that go bump in the night (see: spirit walker in the chronicles of ancient darkness) - this book absolutely terrified me the first time that i read it, so i made a point of finishing it in the daytime this time. perhaps that’s why it didn’t hit as hard this time - it was less terrifying. however, really appreciating her choice to make the narrator gay, without ever making a deal out of it or naming it - it’s the lil things like working class arctic explorers being disgustingly in love with their charismatic expedition leaders, ya know? big fan. also huge fan of her descriptive prose - she is also the queen of arctic imagery. her prose, combined with the gorgeous black and white photos at the start of each chapter, have not helped my desire to sack it all off and go work as a doctor in the faroe islands or iceland.

✩ The Diet Myth - Spector (on hold) i left this book at uni bc i didn’t want to ruin my own christmas with his awful writing style, if you want an indication of how much i dislike this book.

✩ Smoke Gets In Your Eyes - Caitlin Doughty (in progress) a christmas gift that i’m currently reading. i’m so morbid and am learning so much, although i feel like some of the chapters are burbling on with anecdotes but don’t hammer home many points (although maybe it’s bc as a medical student i’m less easily shocked than your average reader) - bit confused as to where we’re going but i’m along for the ride.

✩ Calling a Wolf a Wolf - Kaveh Akbar (in progress) beautiful. in progress - his imagery is quite beautiful but i struggle to sit and read poetry.

✩ The Secret History - Donna Tartt (in progress) re-read. i sink back into old books like familiar lovers, like hot baths. so much comfort.

films

✩ Dead Poets Society (1989) why were the deleted scenes deleted. WHY. rewatching it, i felt some of the character development and relationship development was a little rushed - yet the deleted scenes could have fixed that. WHY WERE WE ROBBED. as ever, emotionally devastated as someone who loves languages and books and words, but ultimately chose medicine and science. as ever, very very sad over neil perry and aching for todd anderson. newfound appreciation for meeks + dalton. that punch at the end? *chef’s kiss*

✩ Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) i am inducting my sisters into lotr and they are powerless to stop me.

✩ Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince (2009) my favourite of the hp movies.

✩ Atonement (2007) this film and i have a long history - i first saw the start of it many years ago, when i did not know what c*nt meant, so was understandably a little bit lost, but also keira knightley in that green dress was a true gay awakening moment. i love the cinematography - it’s so ridiculously dreamlike and gorgeous, and the set design for the house is just beautiful. as are keira knightley and james mcavoy. also, the soundtrack with the use of the typewriters and lighters as drumbeats - my GOD, so beautiful. the second half of the film felt very rushed to me - the reveal that some of it was briony’s fiction made sense, but it lacked the stunning quality of the first half, both plot-wise and camera-wise (although the dunkirk scene was brilliant; love a long, revolving camera pan). i particularly hated every scene with briony in it - v lacklustre - and also the scene with luc remembering cecilia, it just felt forced and gimmicky. the novel definitely wins out for me.

podcasts

i haven’t listened to any podcasts in a while, bar a few episodes of the magnus archives whilst cooking and running errands, BUT i did record one!! the episode will be up in the new year but we have a few back episodes on Right to Refuge, which covers refugee/asylum issues and is by the charity that i work for!

articles: medicine / nature

✩ Mass die-off of birds in south-western US 'caused by starvation' - Phoebe Weston, The Guardian

✩ Eradicating Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting: Human Rights-Based Approaches of Legislation, Education, and Community Empowerment - Williams-Breault (2018), Health Hum Rights i just finished my obstetrics & gynaecology rotation and was appalled by the prevalence of FGM/C in the UK and wanted to learn more. this article is truly excellent in terms of understanding cultural issues and barriers to ending FGM/C.

✩ Female Genital Mutilation: Health Consequences and Complications—A Short Literature Review - Klein et al. (2018), Obstet Gynecol Int. a short america-centric lit review that i read whilst writing up my reflective pieces - not as good as the above one but has more (horrifying) statistics: 200 million women affected worldwide; 6,000 girls cut each day; 85% will have some form of medical complication in their lives, from psychological/sexual to gynaecological to obstetric including death; estimated death rate of 1 in 500; 60.5% of affected women reported fear when their spouse wanted sex compared to 2.4% of unaffected women.

✩ Gender equality and human rights approaches to female genital mutilation: a review of international human rights norms and standards - Khosla et al. (2017), Reprod Health intersection of two things i spend a lot of time thinking about: human rights & medicine. interesting - to re-read again and consider and learn more about things like treatment-monitoring bodies, etc.

✩ The macho sperm myth - Robert D Martin, Aeon a wonderful friend sent me this! i am somewhat lost by the meandering course of the article but interesting points are raised. also the idea that some scientist was like ‘i absolutely KNOW that the heads of sperm contain tiny homunculi; i cannot see them but they are THERE’ is just hilarious.

articles: covid-19 nb: i am not linking every covid article i read bc that would be so depressing but rest assured i’m up to date on a surface level. i am not on a medical level bc i am emotionally exhausted.

✩ Covid vaccine: 'Disappearing' needles and other rumours debunked - Jack Goodman & Flora Carmichael, BBC pls don’t even. let me think about anti-vaxxers. i simply wish to know the current conspiracy theories so i can argue with people more effectively.

✩ Covid at Christmas: 'Chris Whitty is more popular than Britney Spears' - Emma Harrison, BBC please someone get me a chris witty prayer candle i am BEGGING

✩ Covid-19: Doctors call for rapid rollout of vaccines - Nick Triggle, BBC

articles: culture

✩ Art in 2021: The highlights to hope for - Will Gompertz, BBC yayoi kusama is coming to the tate modern!! which i can actually get to relatively easily on public transport from my uni city!! gonna take myself to see the infinity rooms omg i am so EXCITED

✩ History: Quileute Nation this is the official site of the quileute nation, whose history and mythology stephanie meyer butchered in the twilight saga.

✩ The Archers tackles the 'hidden' connection between disability and modern slavery - BBC something i’m ashamed to say that i knew nothing about until this article. the archers keeps on giving in terms of social issues.

✩ Gollancz gets Sims’ ‘horror for the Netflix generation’ - Tom Tivnan, The Bookseller jonny sims is writing a BOOK??! the EXCITEMENT i feel

#weekly #reading 2020 #last one! i cannot wait to read more next yr...degree pending

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