#i see yall have yet to stop arguing or bashing people on either side as if one or two people can make up an entire fandom perspective lol

[cancerian-woman]

Maybe there will be a day where people understand clementine is bisexual, not straight and not a lesbian either.

[consumeconstantly]

The Only Antidote is a Kiss

Summary: Scarecrow always did come up with the most whacky chemical formulas to test on people. Red Hood gets dosed with his latest toxin, and the only way to cure it is with a kiss. The only candidate? Long time rival and almost enemy, Ladybird.

____________________________________________________

“No,” Red Hood said, resolutely. “No way in hell.”

Red Robin’s exasperated voice crackled over the comm. “Hood, if you don’t, you’re going to die.”

“Do you think I care? Death is better.” 

“I would say that’s insulting if I didn’t feel the exact same way.” Ladybird nonchalantly twirled a yoyo at her side. “Besides, ten minutes is plenty of time to get him someone else.”

“You two are in the middle of nowhere. It’s thirty minutes to the nearest city.”

“Yeah, but the suburbs are always an option. You Bats always seem to miss the obvious solution.”

“I’m not kissing her,” Red Hood repeated.

“I know that you two are…” Red Robin tried to find a more delicate way to word their relationship, “Not always on the best of terms, but you are on the same side right now. Ladybird, you don’t want Red Hood to die, do you?”

Plying Ladybird was always easier than trying to convince Red Hood. The woman had a heart of gold. Today? No such luck. 

“He’s not going to die,” Ladybird scoffed. “If he dies over this instead of the many, many, many assassination attempts that I saved him from, I’ll feel insulted. But I’m also not going to help. I’m not going to kiss an unwilling party, and certainly not one with a mug as ugly as Red Hood.”

“You’ve never even seen my face!” Red Hood argued from safely inside his beauteous red bucket.

“Yeah, well you’ve never seen mine either, and yet somehow, you have no issue with calling me disfigured every time our paths cross.”

“You’re wearing a mask. Only people who are horribly scarred wear full face masks.”

“Oh, so you’re admitting you’re ugly then?”

“No, I’m wearing a helmet, not a mask. Big difference.”

Ladybird barely stopped herself from bashing her head against the cement and steel wall. If the action didn’t break her mask, she would have considered going through with it. “God, this is why I’m not going to kiss him, Red Robin. Can’t you use one of those zeta things and drop in a girl for him to make out with?”

“You know they don’t work like that.”

“I wouldn’t know, it’s not like I’m in the Justice League.”

“Not for a lack of trying! We’ve offered you the position at least ten different times.”

“Yeah, on the condition that I get Red Hood to join up too. That certainly doesn’t sound like you guys actually want my help.”

“Nine minutes on the clock,” an automated voice reminded them.

“I say we blow this popsicle stand,” Red Hood pointed a finger up at the cement ceiling.

“Wow, what a stupendously original idea, Red Hood. It’s almost like the next thing out of your mouth might be something vaguely resembling intelligence. Oh wait, that’s right. We can’t get out of this hell hole because there’s three feet of cement on every side of us and we have no weapons that can help.”

“I haven’t had a crack at it, yet.”

“Be my guest. I’ll sit back and laugh at your failed attempts.” Ladybird reclined on a wall. “We both know that between the two of us, I’m the one who’s better at escape and solutions that don't require firearms. You don’t think with either one of your heads, you think with your AK-47.”

“My babies are all I need to get the job done. Your plans are always so unnecessarily convoluted.”

“They’re convoluted so I can cover my tracks instead of leaving evidence, debris, and dead bodies behind.”

“Uh, guys? Can you have your spat after Hood’s life is out of immediate danger?”

“No,” both of them chorused, immediately glaring at each other for speaking in sync.

“I doubt Scarecrow actually came up with a formula that will make you die if you don’t kiss someone of the opposite gender within ten minutes. That seems like the kind of chemical compound that’s featured in all of those really trashy romance novels, except instead of being unable to control your instincts, you die.” Ladybird considered the empty vial on the floor. “I’m confident that Red Hood can ride this out with minimal damage. Even if he does get horny, it’s not like he’s going to go for me-- drug induced state or not, he can’t stand my guts.”

“Can I just say that I don’t want to bank his life on that assumption?”

“It’s not like your life is the one at stake. Just try to get someone out here that can break down this welded door for us sooner, rather than later.” Ladybird gives Red Hood a once over. “Besides, if he does try anything, we all know that I’m more than capable of tying him up.”

#

“Hey, why don’t you use that Lucky Charm of yours?”

“Do you think I didn’t think of that already? That was one of the first things I considered.”

“So why didn’t you use it?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that after I do, I detransform within five minutes? Not a big fan of exposing my identity, plus it’s not like anybody’s in any real danger because we’re locked up here. Scarecrow’s tied up, the goons that welded the door shut on us aren’t capable of using their brains, and a team is going to bust us out in thirty minutes anyways.”

For the millionth time, Red Hood pounded his shoulder against the steel weld, hoping that something would give. Nothing happened.

A beep sounded. 

“Ten minutes have passed.”

“See?” Ladybird crowed triumphantly. “I was right. Nothing’s--”

Red Hood fell to the floor, clawing at his chest.

“... happening. I jinxed it, didn’t I? I guess I’ll use it, then.”

Ladybird called for a lucky charm. No antidote fell into her hand. Just a sheet of paper, saying Kiss him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Tikki, don’t do me dirty like this!”

“Tikki? Who’s Tikki? What did the Lucky Charm give you?”

A wet cough sounded from underneath Red Hood’s helmet. He started to gasp for air.

Ladybird didn’t like Hood, but Red Robin was right. She had grown fond of him after saving his ass so many times. She wasn’t just going to let him die, especially not when she could help him. With a bone weary sigh, she knelt next to Red Hood. 

“I guess we’re doing this, aren’t we? Red Robin, comms off.”

“Off? But Hood sounds like--”

“Off,” she repeated, firmly. “Or I’ll break them.”

The telltale sign of static ceased in her ears.

Ladybird held Red Hood by his shoulders, maneuvering his mask off. 

“I hope you’re ugly,” she whispered.

He was not.

#

Even with blood on his lips, Jason Todd was unfortunately attractive. 

“Gonna--” he coughed again, the spray of blood accompanied by a wheeze. “Bless me with your face before I die?”

“I can’t believe that you’re still snarky while you’re on death’s door.” Ladybird touched the full face mask that she added during her years as a vigilante in Gotham. She still has the usual Ladybug eye cover, so her identity is safe. But the noh mask provides a sense of safety to her. She’s loathe to take it off, but in order for a kiss to work, it needs to be put aside. With a sigh, she places it on the ground and places a hand over Red Hood’s startlingly blue eyes.

“Kinky,” he spat. Ladybird grimaced. Why she ended up on this mission alone with Red Hood was beyond her, but they always ended up in the worst situations together somehow, anyways.

Her lips descended on his. 

Iron and sweat.

“Okay,” she said, wiping her lips with the hand that wasn’t preoccupied with shielding Red Hood’s eyes. “You feeling any better?”

He coughed again.

“Great, so Scarecrow was lying and I didn’t have to kiss you. You were just going to die anyways.” 

She placed her noh mask back on, then pressed a button on her comm. “You’re going to want to speed up the whole backup team. Looks like Scarecrow was lying.”

“You’re kidding me. Scarecrow never lies--”

Red Hood sat up shakily. 

“I’m fine, Replacement. Throat’s a little sore, but I’m fine.” 

“Good to know his MO hasn’t changed,” Ladybird remarked. “I’d suggest that you wipe your face with something. It’s covered in blood.”

“And Ladybird cooties.” Red Hood used his forearm to wipe the blood off. Ladybird had to admit that the man was objectively good looking. The artist in her wanted to take a picture or sketch him. The shock of white hair, symmetrical features, and prominent nose. His eyes had a certain darkness in them, like he had seen the worst of the world, but there was still a clarity to them that said he was fighting against those injustices. “C’mon, you’ve seen my face, don’t you think it’s time to exchange the favor?”

“Backup’s arriving in three,” interjected Red Robin.

“There’s nothing in it for me.” Ladybird tugged the hood of her cloak down lower. 

“Isn’t it weird that we kissed and I don’t know your face?”

“No.”

“You really are into some kinky shit.”

“Also no on that.”

“Then why not show me your face?”

“Stop being such a brat.”

“I know I’m older than you.”

“Bratiness isn’t measured in age, but in mental maturity. Which you have none of.”

“Please?”

“I’m almost tempted to take off my noh mask if only because that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say the word please.”

“If I say it again, will you?”

“I’ll consider it.”

“Pretty please, Ladybird?”

“... Fine.” She’d get a laugh out of this anyways, and the team was minutes away from picking them up.

She took off her noh mask to reveal the red and black domino.

Red Hood cursed.

@jasonette-july-2k20

it’s wild that yall are liking my fics when i basically vomit these things up im honestly scared to look back at some of the ones that have been posted because i do not proof read or edit 

[silver-wield]

Final Fantasy 7R review

I finished the game this morning and I already have regrets that there’s nothing left for me to do besides replay and anxiously wait for news of the next installment. I want more. I want to not have finished it yet. I need to know what happens next, not just in the updated story, but with the game mechanics, too. I’m happy the team is taking their time to make the game as good as it deserves to be, but on the other hand I wanna throw a toddler tantrum demanding the rest of my game! 

Beware, spoilers.

The bad stuff

To be fair, not a lot from where I’m sitting. I’ve seen people bitch about textures and how the scrap yards don’t look dynamic enough and some stuff is flat, but seriously, why are yall looking at the walls? They’re the least interesting thing about the game and you’re just nitpicking. The graphics overall were amazing and I stopped multiple times just to rotate the camera and take in this massive city we actually get to really explore for the first time ever!

I have to admit a slight disappointment in the amount of space, verbally, that was happening. There were times where I expected characters to make comments and they said nothing. Things were overlooked or just not addressed and it wasn’t even anything plot related, just a point where there could have been dialogue and it didn’t happen. It wasn’t often, but those few times the air was left dead I noticed it. The most notable time was in chapter 17, right after Sephiroth appeared on the gangway. Now, I get them being too shocked to say anything when he’s right in front of them, but after, when they separate and fall into two groups? Nothing? No comment? Tifa, I definitely expected to say something in a shocked tone, but even after they found Cloud again, she didn’t mention it. It was like the moment didn’t happen. I know the other times nobody else but Cloud saw him, but this time they saw him, and he’s linked to Tifa’s past too, so she definitely should’ve had some kind of comment in that empty space.

That was the only major point, but other small ones were when people were talking and one character remains silent. The only one I expect to never speak if he doesn’t have to is Cloud. Because it’s Cloud. Everyone else should have something to say. Like when they climbed the stairs. If you took the stairs - I was all done in from so many fights and just wanted a break - then you got hilarious commentary from Barret, Cloud and Tifa. It showed how close they’ve become. Cloud made a joke! His second one of the game! If you missed the first, it’s likely because you obsessed over him going on about money all the time and saying that’s all he cares about when he’s with Tifa. So, yeah, after being shown how the group can talk to each other and banter I’m hoping Square adds more chatter to the next game. I know some people prefer less chatter, but this is a group of people who are supposed to be shown as friends, so conversation is important.

The other thing that got on my nerves was the mechanics of the weapons upgrade. Unless I missed a shortcut, having to go out of each one and then into the next one instead of just switching over to the next weapon’s skill tree. It took a long time to level things up and I wish there was an option in the auto to just unlock every skill one at a time, so they’d do it on auto without me having to go in there. And the ATB. That got on my nerves. I’m lazy af, so I’d like for action to just pause whenever someone’s atb fills so I can give them a command and then go back to the battle instead of having one eye on all the atbs. It’s probably more classic than Square wants to go with it, but having that as a battle option would be nice and a further throwback to the old style of gameplay.

The good

Everything from chapter 3 onwards. The intro chapters were good, too, but I really just wanted to dig into the game and that didn’t happen until chapter 3. The VAs killed it! Graphics were amazing! The weapon abilities were fun and added something different to the regular gameplay style of just grabbing the next strongest weapon. Side quests were enjoyable and I wish there was more of them, especially a save the citizens for after the plate fell. That really would've hammered home the tragedy.

The story

I’ve seen people - mostly OG fans - bashing the new elements. Sure, the whispers are a weird angle to come at it from, but the explanation for them, that they’re trying to maintain the OG storyline, made for an interesting twist on a 25 year old story. Sephiroth’s early appearance was just something that had to happen, along with a Jenova fight, because, come on, this section of the OG was like 3hrs worth of content and this is 40hrs, so ofc they had to include new things and it matches with the new storyline and I think people need to release their death grip on the OG storyline and enjoy this game for what it is. 

I found the ripple effect(?) interesting too. From what we learned, the OG happened in the future. If things hadn’t changed that’s the future everyone was heading towards. Ok, cool, pretty simple. 

This timeline had small changes. Biggs, Wedge and Jessie survived!? Or did Wedge finally get shoved off a building at the end, I really couldn’t tell if he bought it that time, but if he did I’m mad cause he was adorable. The plate falling didn’t have as big a casualty number as originally, either. And Hojo almost spilled the beans to Cloud early, but was cut off, and that’s the other thing Cloud ignored in dialogue afterwards, but it’s Cloud, so we’ll give him a security pass for that. The others ignoring his Ptsd induced freak outs isn't cool though and I expect Square to fix that level of callousness towards him from the others.

Those are the only two changes from the OG. Sephiroth showing up early instead of in Nibelheim doesn’t really matter. He’s his usual cryptic asshole self and his goal is unchanged. The team just knows he’s the big bad earlier now and have a solid goal instead of just randomly wandering after they leave Midgar. So, yeah, does Biggs, Wedge and Jessie living make a big difference overall? Will that ripple from them being alive make further changes?

We also saw that Zack survived because of our team, but the Zack in their timeline is still dead. I think we saw it this way because the planet is trying to find a way to prevent being hit with Meteor and ending up with geostigma, so the OG timeline, everything was still bad. Our timeline gives possibilities for a slightly better future and then the timeline behind it - the one with Zack - offers even better odds, not that we’ll see that. That’s the timeline I think Aerith will live through, so that way Square can say Aerith lives, just not in the game we play now.

Shipping

I’m not into wars, so if you love Aerith, cool good for you, I was focused on building affinity with Tifa and Square didn’t disappoint! There were so many romantic moments between them! And damn do they have chemistry! I squeed at such a high pitch the dog next door started howling! All the small touches, longing looks, affection, support, trust and OMGOSH IT WAS JUST THE BEST!!! They were so damn cute!!

I have no idea how the game changes if you focus on Aerith and to be honest I don’t want to. I think that’s what I love about the options for that. You can choose and no one can say your choice isn’t valid. 

One thing though, I would like an end to it because it’s 25 years of people arguing and it’s made the entire fandom toxic af and it’s actually the reason I avoid most of the final fantasy discourse because people can’t be civil to each other. Square should finally say once and for all that Cloud/ is canon and the other isn’t, instead of throwing a bone to them and being all “maybe if things were like this”, like no, pull on your big boy pants, Square, man tf up like Barret on a mission, and tell people who is the canon pairing in this damn game so people can just stfu and enjoy playing it without getting flamed.

This is why I want a FF8R because at least there’s no doubt who the couple is in that one.

Smol stuff

I’ve seen complaints about new characters being 1 dimensional, but they’re new characters in a game series that’s a trilogy, so they’re likely gonna appear again. Roche seemed added not just to give Cloud a boss to fight in the bike event, but also to show there’s other SOLDIERs beyond Cloud and Zack and the ones from Crisis Core, which not everyone has played.

Same goes for Leslie. I liked that dude and I’m interested to see him pop up again. His design wasn’t the typical bad guy henchman, easily disposed, thank you very much for playing. He has a story and I’m betting that’s not the last we see of him.

Again, same goes for Cloud’s infantry buddies. I’ve not played CC, but I get they’re from that, so will we see them again at some point? What about other CC characters?

Best Bits

Cloud in a dress. “Nailed it, thank you, moving on.”

Cloud dancing. Boy got moves and I wanna see him dance again!

Cloud/Tifa. Complimenting her like a smooth mutherfucker.

Cloud/Tifa Battle couple. They were my absolute favourite fighting combo and definitely kicked all the ass!

Cloud/Tifa. All the shipping bits, but especially jumping off the train and then trusting her to go kick Corneo’s ass. That’s how you show you know your girl

Wedge. Kitty momma

Biggs death. Damn you, Square, you got me all choked up.

Red. Specifically the bit where he highfived Barret with his tail lool

Barret. “Damn it, Red.”

Reno. Just Reno in general killed me. Love his conscience though and that he’s not a 1 trick pony.

Tifa/Aerith. Had more chemistry than Aerith/Cloud. Yeah, I said it. 

Barret and Marlene. Such a good daddy! His expression with her was like a whole different person!

Aerith bitchslapping a would-be rapist with a chair.

Cloud/Tifa/Aerith teamup to threaten Don Corneo’s balls - though I only include Aerith since she was there and she was about as threatening as a cupcake.

Conclusion

I want moar! I really hope the next one comes out soon! It’s not the same as OG, but has the best bits of OG along with something new to bring in a new generation of fans. The alt timeline angle feels fresh and open to possibilities and I’m excited to play this game for what it is, instead of comparing it and demanding for the OG like a crusty whisper lool