#i should be writing my goddamn big bang rn

[hitlikehammers]

I accidentally started writing this future!fic married!Steddie where rockstar!Eddie agrees to a custom-dildo box set a la Rammstein and chaos ensues so I guess, have some? CW for all the sex toys and stuff

Of all the bullshit Steve has muddled half-assed and barely-passably through in his lifetime—mostly at the demand of his asshat parents—possibly the most innocent, and honestly the least painful, were the piano lessons.

Which should have been enough to warn him well in advance that that shit was going to come back to bite him in the ass in the long run.

Like: literally.

But hey, look: it wasn’t as if he took it seriously, while he’d actually been doing it. And it wasn’t as if he even did it for very long, either. It was just a…what, a nice little novelty thing? Something that he wasn’t flat-out bad at, that could make up for his shit-ass grades when his mother talked about him at dinner parties until the real sports kicked in around junior high. It was a placeholder. A stopgap. He’d never touched the thing again after his last lesson, even if it sat perfectly-dusted and regularly-tuned in the corner of his godawful mausoleum of a house up to the day he moved out and learned that it was, in fact, easier to take the loss than try to convince anyone to buy it off him if he wasn’t inclined to include delivery.

And Eddie’s van wasn’t actually fucking wide enough to pull that off, so.

Point being: he was rid of it, he did not miss it, and he honestly didn’t think twice about it again until, oh.

Almost like fifteen fucking years later.

And really, honestly: how the hell was he supposed to expect that, come those fifteen years later, he’d be a) still alive after all the alternate dimension bullshit, b) in a longterm relationship, c) not just a longterm relationship, either, but a longterm relationship that involved a level of fucking soul-deep, unflinching and unshakable love that he never could have imagined at any point in his whole goddamn life, not a single one of his half-baked romantic teenage fantasies even scratching the goddamn surface of what this is; of what he has, and d) the fact that he has it, blissfully and gleefully and joyfully, alongside the most amazing man he’s ever fucking known.

He couldn’t have guessed those things, not a single goddamn one of them, is the point. And those were all at least, like, at the forefront of his mind by the time they actually did—however improbably—happen.

So how in the actual flying fuck was he supposed to guess playing five goddamn notes on a cheap-ass Yamaha would be the thing that would ultimately damn him straight to hell?

He hadn’t even planned on it, either. Shit, he hadn’t even wanted to do it. No, see; what he’d wanted was to get his idiot fiancé off his motherfucking ass and out of the studio, but no. No, see: these last three seconds on Track Nine of As-Yet-Untitled-Album-Seven just weren’t hitting right, babe, I’ve just gotta get it to—

“Fuck it.”

Steve hadn’t even waited for a reaction before he dropped into the nearest seat—that being at the cheapo keyboard that may actually have been for someone’s kid to fuck around on to just keep them occupied, especially since there was a massive fucking Roland set-up arranged all professional-like on the other side of the room, but that was not the goddamn point.

The goddamn point was that their flight was going to leave in two hours, and it’d take half that time just to get to the fucking airport.

“Here, you want something to hit right?”

And Steve had relied entirely on the better part of two decades’ rust on whatever muscle memory he had left being just enough to shock a metalhead out of his stupor and get his ass in gear. He thinks he trilled out something from, like, Bach. Or Beethoven. Some dead ‘B’ dude his teacher made him play that he hated then and was pretty sure he hated still, if what he dragged out was anywhere close to accurate. He played it sloppy and staccato and ended fortississimo in a way that very same teacher would have reamed him out for, but honestly, Steve kind of thought all the fff’s involved were pretty fucking fitting as he bounced to his feet on the reverb and glared at his partner’s slackjawed face.

“Either that hits just fucking right, Edward, or I’ll swing this goddamn suitcase at you and see if thatdoes the trick.”

And Steve hadn’t needed to threaten further violence against the man he loved because what he got was was an armful of Eddie, and a kiss deep enough to make Steve just a little dizzy, and he hadn’t thought twice about the maybe-ten keystrokes again because they were finally on their way to a city, with a courthouse, that’d marry their asses and Steve Harrington was about to become a husband.

Steve Harrington was about to have a husband.

His heart was way too fucking full for anything else.

———————————————

But: once everyday life settled back in?

It may have been a good idea for Steve to have taken a minute—hell, really, even just a second—to think a little harder about Track fucking Nine.

———————————————

Eds always said Corroded Coffin was a band that was ‘big enough’—and Steve generally agreed. Eddie loved performing, loved writing and breaking something primal and bloody wide open from his chest and spilling it out on a record, pouring it proud and unapologetic across a stage and then—to Steve’s complete surprise, at least at first—what Eddie loved even more than any of that was coming home to Steve afterward and curling up around him in their bed, pressing the kind of smile into the line of Steve’s neck that never waned or faded; fucking somehow impossibly just grew and grew and grew.

So the band was big enough, in that they played decent sized venues when a album dropped, and they could usually make it so their tours split between winter break and summer vacation once Steve landed his own gig as a guidance counselor, so he could come with, make sure Eddie never had to curl up in bed alone. And the band pulled in enough money so the two of them lived comfortably in the house they’d bought with the trust fund that’d had Steve’s dead grandfather’s name and blessing scrawled across it so ironclad that his parents couldn’t fucking touch it, hard as they’d tried. Basically: Corroded Coffin was ‘big enough’ that they made end-of-year lists not-infrequently, but Eddie never once had to dodge the paps outside their front yard. They were big enough that the core of their fanbase had evolved from late-80s metalheads to include the vaguely obsessive diehards of the internet era who picked apart the liner notes like they held the answers to god and the universe and everything. It was weird, but the band was fucking weird, and Steve-and-Eddie were likewise pretty goddamn weird, so it mostly worked out fine.

But that was also, at the very same time, exactly how literally anyone started asking a single goddamn question about the stupidly out-of-place performance credit listed on track fucking nine, when finally-titled-Album-Seven got its release date.

[1lostone]

Fic Update

Well, it’s been a crazy few weeks. RL kind of smacked me upside the head, and I had to drop out of the T’hy’la big bang. Sigh. I just didn’t think that I could commit with that and work- and I would rather quit now than before any artist was paired with me. I’m not happy about it, but fortunately the mods were super understanding. It doesn’t help that I write like a goddamn constipated snail (no joke- Sometimes slower...!) so I have to have a ton of time to do all the things! 

So below are where I’m at in my writing WIPS, and the idea I had for a Crossover with the novel The Stand. Under the cut to save your dashboards. 😅

Shook Me Cold (Sterek mashup with the game The Long Dark)  I’m having way too much fun. Derek and Stiles are finally actually talking, but there’s Plot Stuff getting ready to happen and these boys can be dumb.... I’m not quite at the halfway point, but it was a lot of fun to jump back into writing Sterek. I missed these two assholes. 

Balanced (Reylo) I wanted to write a fix it for the end of TROS. Also, to play whackamole with some of the plot holes... but the beginning is turning out a lot darker than I anticipated. I did the Ben chapter (The prologue essentially) and now I’m doing Rey from Exogol to ... er the planet the Resistance is on (I’m blanking on the name rn) and she’s... not okay. She will be okay. And you know I can’t not write a happy ending (except that one time!) but man oh man, it’s fun to play in Rey’s head. She may or may not cuddle with a certain Good Boy Sweater, and it makes me 😌  I should have a chapter cleaned up and posted soonish.

Here’s the good stuff- and a bit of a teaser. If you’ve ever had a conversation with me, you know that I love the novel The Stand, by Stephen King. I am not exaggerating when I say that I use it in my job, parts show up as Easter eggs in my fics, and and I reread it every year or so.  I’ve wanted to do a cross-over with The Walking Dead for awhile, but I also had an idea for Teen Wolf. I have been plotting out and deleting ideas for at least four years with this thing. @jlm121 has heard me go crazy and delete it over and over. Then it hit me- why not both? Why can’t I put both ideas in there? A few days ago, @marooncamaro and @twdobsessive poked at me until I actually planned it out. So yeah. Will I write it? Idk. Probably. Will I post it? again, idk. I feel so nervous about writing in that ‘verse that I’m terrified I’ll fuck it up. But damn I can’t wait to write it.  I have to finish one of my current WIPs (The star trek fic I didn’t even mention here because I feel horribly guilty whenever I think about it lol) before I start something new and epic length. 

[santiagostyle]

U kno what plot twist ill only ask u for all the even numbers this time!!! Unless any of the odd ones involve music bc i know those are the ones u rly wanna answer so

MARK THE DAY KIDS JO IS BEING NICE TO ME

anyway this is a hella long post lmao s o r r y

2. name your favourite books; why are they your favourite books and do they affect your writing?

my all time favourite is To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee which like,, I feel like it doesn’t really affect my writing but it definitely reignited my love for literature which I guess consequently led to me getting back into writing??

also the A to Z of You and Me by James Hannah literally ripped out my heart and stomped on it and I’m seriously pretty sure I finished it within a few hours of starting it. That one probably does affect my writing because it’s very angsty but also in terms of style it’s pretty fragmented which is kinda the direction I tend to go in so!!!

I’m yet to make it past the first chapter but the style of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy is,,, everything 

not technically a book but I’m a theatre major so ofc i’m gonna include a play!!! 4.48 Psychosis by Sarah Kane ripped my heart out, tore it to pieces, threw it on the ground and stomped on it (also side note it took me a solid week and a half to recover from watching it performed live). the style is so abstract and disjointed and strange and fragmented but it’s so so perfect and absolutely heartbreaking (also big ass trigger warning if you’re thinking about looking it up)

ALSO i got about halfway through before life got in the way so I didn’t get the chance to finish it but I absolutely adore the style of Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury and like,,, fun fact I’m actually related to him so ???? i guess writing runs in the family ????? and yeah there are some small parts of that book that I read and thought ‘this sounds like something i would write’ just because i feel like we have pretty similar styles4. why do you like writing? what inspired you to put paper to pen?

I guess I haven’t ever really been happy just living one life or doing one thing at a time so,,,, I write 6. tag any writers that you want to collab with!

hoooooo boy um ?? literally ?? everyone??? but specifically @elsaclack @startofamoment @kasuchi @peraltiagoisland and my girl @johnnydora but for real i wanna write with EVERYONE 8. how many wip do you currently have? which one is your favourite as of the moment?

HA HA HA HA HA for real I literally have like,,, 4 Big Major Fics in the works and then like 11-12 little drabble things also in progress (and by in progress I mean I’ve thought about them and done absolutely nothing else)10. describe your writing in five sentences or less.

sentences suck imma do dot points

- I can’t write chronologically and the beginning of a story is usually the last thing I do

- I have a tendency to write ‘moments’ as opposed to actual full fledged stories if that makes sense? like I find it so much easier to write little ‘scenes’ or slices of life so i often use quite a few time jumps because i find it so difficult to write the stuff that occurs in between big moments

- i always spend so much time and so many words describing the littlest details because those are what i think are most important 

- literally everything i write has a song associated with it and i can’t write without music 

- i either use really long super flowery descriptive sentences, or sentences with like 3 words in them. there is no in between 

12. what do you associate with each of your stories? with your writing in general?

I mean I’ve only published two (2) things on here/ao3 so far but like I mentioned before the music thing so I suppose i associate particular songs with each of my stories?

but also like in general all of my writing comes from a really intense emotional place and like, even if I’m unsure of how my?? mental state?? is doing at a particular time, it comes through in my writing. so if i suddenly only wanna write fluff i know i’m doing okay, whereas i kinda have to be sad to write something angsty like the hellfic14. write a personal history/mini autobiography/author description that you don’t mind sharing.

smol anxious tina fey wannabe spends too much time crying in her room thinking about so many stories while putting off actually writing 16. three pieces of other’s writing that people need to read to understand your inspirations and you?

alright i know like everyone and their dog has already read it but foR REAL @elsaclack‘s sleepwalking changed my goddamn life alright it was literally everything i had ever wanted in a fic and i am still Shooktd to this day okay frick

Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho is also a book that is very important to me and I think everyone should read it 

Neighbourhood Watch by Lally Katz is the first play that actually made me cry just by reading it (like, I didn’t see it live, I cried reading the actual text) because god there’s so much emotion and so many issues that it deals with that are very close to my heart and it reminded me a lot of some people I’m very close to so!!!!18. make a playlist for people to listen to if they want to understand you.

AIGHT I DON’T HAVE TIME TO DO AN ACTUAL PLAYLIST RN BUT I’M GONNA EDIT THIS LATER AND ADD A LINK BUT FOR NOW HERE ARE SOME OF MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE SONGS:

America - XYLØ

Young Blood - The Naked and Famous

Go Bang - PNAU

Sucker - Peaches

Raspberry Beret - Prince

Salvation - The Cranberries

Hero - Regina Spektor

Caught - Florence + The Machine

Time (Video Version) - Stray Dogg & Devendra Banhart

Leaving the City - Joanna Newsom

September 22nd - Brock Berrigan

Havana - Camila Cabello

Queen of Peace - Florence + The Machine

Regular Touch - Vera Blue

Here I Lie - Marika Hackman

Maneater - Nelly Furtado 

Kiwi - Harry Styles

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON

Baby I Call Hell - Deap Vally

Motel - Meg Myers20. describe your writing life in one sentence. 

I have been writing since I could hold a pen, and telling stories since before then22. your favourite characters to write and why.

oBVIOUSLY JAKE AND AMY but like I think I find Jake just a tiiiiiny bit easier to write because I’m always talking about Amy, like, externally??24. name one fact about yourself that you want your readers to know about you.

for real i’ve literally been writing since i could hold a pen. my mum still has ‘books’ i wrote when i was 3 about the adventures of my teddy bear lmfao26. what are your writing goals for the week? for the month? for the year? how many words/poems do you write per week?

HAHAHAHH WELLLLLL i was meant to be doing nanowrimo this month but then some Things happened so it hasn’t really gotten done. my biggest writing goal at the moment is to make some soliddddd progress on the hellfic (it’s all planned and a lot of the next chapter is written i just,,, can’t make the words work atm) so!!!

also i pretty much write when i have ideas?? which is,,, not often unfortunately

[assholemurphy]

so, i actually laid down for abt 3 hours instead of doing my itt final. oops. i didn’t even sleep, i just laid there. i mean, i tried, but i couldn’t. so, i’m gonna be out of adderall and my last pill will have worn off probs around the time i get home from shop, so, that’s gonna suck. writing two papers, a script, and reading a play with no adderall is gonna be a bitch. i’ve got my xr, maybe (still haven’t looked to see if i kept it or not, probs not), and that may help, but i’m p much fucking screwed on this one. what should take 4 hours (6 with breaks) is gonna end up taking like, 10, probably. unfortunate.

i’m gonna finish my trunk this afternoon and deal with that. it’ll take abt an hour or so. maybe one and a half. then i’ll be finished with it completely. i dunno if i’ll take it home on fri or wait til after break, it just depends. i wanna bring it home asap so i can use it when i organize my apartment, but it probs won’t be easy to carry bc while it has a handle, it’s significantly heavier than it was before, and i dunno if i’ll be able to find somebody who can help me transport it. but i can try.

one good piece of news from the shitfest that has been this past week: due to the loans i’m getting ($2k more this semester and $2k+ next semester) i’ll be able to cover the other half of the rent on my apartment (my mother will continue paying for half like she has been bc i’m jobless and don’t have the time to get one bc i get 15 hours of concentration per day and i’ve already got classes, rehearsal (if i get a part in the crucible next semester, but i will have to direct a play and design lights for a play later in the semester), shop hours (only 2 per week, but i try to stay the full afternoon, so 4 hours, unless we need a lot of help in the shop, then i’ll be there more, which will probs happen next semester), and a fuckton of homework (i’m currently enrolled in 5 classes for next semester, tho i may add a 6th if it’s offered, i need to check like, right now). i rly do not have time for a job and it’s rly hard to find one that would work with my schedule if i did bc my days are scheduled weirdly. i rly want a job, but like, finding one/actually being able to work is difficult) so i don’t actually need a roommate until fall (when my brother should be going to college) but even then, i could just keep paying it with more loans. not good in the long term, but i’ll deal with that when i graduate. so, i’m rly happy abt that. i’m gonna stick a futon in the extra room for friends, but it’ll mainly be used for art/crafting purposes. that’ll be nice. i’ll also get to decorate how i want and not in a way that ‘looks cute’ bc ewww. i just want punk shit all over the walls and an unholy amount of organizational items, is that so wrong? i also won’t have to worry about listening to the big bang theory theme play for 6 hours straight every night. and i can do hw whenever and not worry abt being interrupted. and i can cook my own meals and organize the kitchen properly (instead of the catastrophe my roommate has turned it into. tupperware in the pots cabinet!? baking pans in the pots cabinet!? things we use regularly on rly high shelves!? two fucking junk drawers!? and the dishes are never done, despite that being her chore (which i wouldn’t mind so much if she didn’t constantly nag me abt cleaning, ya know?)). it’ll be great. i’ll be able to do whatever the hell i want whenever the hell i want. i can watch whatever i want on tv. i can play video games for 6 hours straight (okay, no, i can’t, i don’t have time, but if i did). i’ll be able to have ppl over any time without worrying abt her freaking out. there’ll be space in the fridge and i can properly organize the pantry. god, i can’t wait. gonna be fucking awesome.

i do have to get ready for class now, tho, bc i’ve got to do my hair/makeup and make sure i look nice. then i’ve got to head to campus to print things and fill out forms. then my final. then the trunk. then i’m taking a goddamn nap. then i will worry abt my itt final project when i wake up. i should be up around 7p (bc i should be done in the shop by 2) so i can work on my final until 3-ish, so i should be finished by then, hopefully. i’ll sleep til 9:30a, get ready for my drs appt, turn in my final, see the dr (or see the dr then turn in the final, either way), and come home to pack for break. i would stay and organize things first, but i’m sick af and idk when i’ll be having surgery, so i’m not sure it’s a good idea to stay. i might still, tho, just until i’ve got everything organized (which might take abt 5 days). not too sure, yet. depends on when/if i can get my surgery scheduled. everything revolves around that rn. but i will have my apartment organized before next semester starts. i cannot live with my room this messy anymore, it’s driving me insane. i fucking hate disorganization and messes with a passion. like, i don’t mind clutter, rly, if it’s bc i’m working on something, but otherwise, it’s a big nope.

so, i’m off to get ready for class (after i check to see if the photography course is offered in the spring, might not be bc ik it’s offered in the fall) and take my final. i’m nervous af but i’m gonna do my best to kick ass.