#i should have known better lmao

[angel-ranger]

Is this how it is? Is this how it's always been? To exist in the face of suffering and death And somehow still keep singing

yellowjackets x 'free' - florence + the machine

[thesundanceghost]

It’s gotta be funny for people just meeting me now, because in my head I’m still straight-passing so I get so caught off guard when people just ID me as a dyke, I’m immediately like wait how do they know and then I have to remind myself that I’m the butchest looking person at my job

[songofsunset]

I would like to thank tumblr for a decade worth of 'heres what you do in an emergency' posts, because just now on my way home I watched a cyclist wipeout into a ditch, and I was able to successfully call 911 and get him help and everything happened basically as correctly as it could

[thesilverlady]

https://www.tumblr.com/thesilverlady/714939705545949184/ive-looked-and-i-havent-seen-you-talking-about?source=share

Please can you share your headcanons of Helaena and her relationships especially the one that she had with Aegon and her children

The fact the both of them are married and have children together but never shared one single interaction is one of the worst choices hbo has ever made and people want to convince you that they made Helaena better than her book counterpart lmao. Sorry but obsession with bugs is not even a personality to begin with

the fact HBO sucked out the dynamics from every single character was definitely... a choice

and yeah, I understand Helaena gets some ridiculous hate but pretending making her the way they did is somehow better than her book canon self is a deep delusion.

SO HELAENA HEADCANONS (I decided to make them a bit generic to cover more of her life, but if you want a solo only for Aegon x Helaena let me know)

1) Helaena isn't really pious. She follows the faith as any person but she doesn't really demonize other women the way her mother does

2) Similar to her brothers, she loves hearing tales of her Targaryen ancestors. She prefers the romance however and is something she bonds over with Rhaenyra - who is the best storyteller

3) Her older sister is someone she looks up to; as a child she dreams of being like to Rhaenyra when she grows older

4) Helaena has a small circle of lady friends but they've all been Hightower approved™ She doesn't mind this much, as long as there's no bad talking about other family members

5) She's the most patient of her siblings and lacks the temper the rest have. It takes a lot to piss her off - which is why it's shocking her she does snap

6) She gets along with her father just fine. He obviously loves Rhaenyra very much but he never makes her feel unwelcome or unfavored when she's with him. Her favorite past time is when he dines privately with her and Rhaenyra, calling them his sweet girls.

7) Aegon & Aemond are nasty as kids. It wasn't that bad before Aemond was born but having another boy around really clicked for her older brother. They mock her for not being pretty and always have a way to downplay everything she does. Alicent reprimands them if she hears it but she doesn't actually do anything to punish them. The only satisfaction she gets is when they try to do the same with Rhaenyra. Her older sister has a reply to everything and she always makes the boys flash with embarrassment

8) Helaena may not have the striking targaryen beauty (she's by no means ugly, just y'know, quite normal, a bit plain) but she has the prettiest voice when it comes to singing. And she knows how to play the harp. She performs to her father and sister a lot.

9) She loves her dragon and wishes she could fly with dreamfyre more but her mother has always been very discouraging of spending time with their dragons. The boys never listen to her but Helaena must be a proper lady so she tries to appease her. It doesn't make her miss dreamfyre any less though

10) She absolutely adores Daeron, and he's definitely her favorite of the boys. She visits him and Baby Jacaerys a lot

11) Helaena is devasted when Daeron is sent away, and it's one of the rare moments where she stands up for herself and argues with her mother. Viserys tries to comfort her by telling her she can always visit him and exchange letters

12) She does end up being the one to have the most familiarity with Daeron. She always sends the most letters to her siblings that are far away (daeron & rhaenyra) and for her nameday she gets her own raven

13) She seeks advice from her mother and her ladies when her marriage to Aegon comes closer. They give the usual unhelpful ones "Be good, have patience, obey your husband" bs, so predictably, she goes to Rhaenyra in tears, because Aemond has also added a bunch of doubts about what her older brother will do to her. Her older sister definitely isn't pleased to be awaken in the middle of the night, but she does humor her with some good advices ("don't let him do anything you don't want, try to be on top for the first time, don't be hesitant to push him, convince him to do what you want, sex shouldn't be painful, there's more than just producing children it's for pleasure too")

14) Her first night as a wife is... not bad. Aegon actually seems nervous for once, and they share a drink. She almost chokes with how nasty her brother's drink taste and he laughs. She confesses she doesn't want this to hurt and ask him to at least try to be gentle. The first time still hurts a bit (patience isn't her brother's virtue) but at least he did spend enough time to prepare her. In their second time she asks to be on top (which catches him off guard but allows it) and both end up enjoying it much better

15) As it's expected Aegon does ask her where she got these ideas from and Helaena is honest about who she asked. He doesn't say anything and she worries he might tell their mother but surprisingly that never happens

16) Marriage doesn't change her brother, or his tastes. She only requires him to not go after her ladies or servants. She knows better than to attempt to control any aspect of his life but out of sight, out of mind

17) While Aegon isn't the most gallant man, the past mockery does stop and he event fistfights with Aemond when he doesn't end his remarks. Helaena doubts he did it necessarily for her sake but she can't deny there's a... charm to it.

18) Another common ground she finds with her husband is the protectiveness they feel over their twins. Tongues can be cut from nobles but their family is a different matter. Alicent urges them to have another child. Otto is brutally honest about how Jaehaery's deformities andJaehaera's sex is against their cause. Aegon and Helaena become a shield for their twins and will fight anyone who make nasty comments about them. Their family learns to be more... delicate with expressing their opinions relating to the twins

19) Mothers aren't supposed to have a favorite child, she knows that. But Helaena can't help favoring Jaehaerys more. Her first born son is sweet, and needy and never wants to leave her side. Jaehaera is so much less expressive and while she tries to work with her it can be hard. Maelor has an adventurous spirit and loves exploring. He's good for Jaehaera who he forces out of her shell, but Jaehaerys remains constant. He's her most beloved though she'd never say it aloud.

20) After b&c Helaena gets lost into her head. She's too ashamed to look at Maelor, too hearbroken to face Jaehaera. In the dark, she seeks to find someone to blame; Rhaenyra for not giving up her throne, Aegon for thirsting for blood, Aemond for starting this when he murdered their child nephew. She wants to blame her mother who fed and nurtured this hatred between her siblings wants to blame her grandfather whose ambition and greed were always a priority, but in the end she only blames herself. For not finding a way to prevent this; the war, her son's death. All the loss and pain. She can't live with herself. When King's Landing falls to Rhaenyra and she's taken captive Helaena won't bear to see any of her children or siblings die. She ends her life so she won't have to witness any further the horror that has befallen on their house

[daataa]

and THAT is what i get for getting my hopes up

[wikipediary]

Don’t wanna be ‘friends’ (using this term extremely loosely) with this one girl i’m in the same cohort/course with…her belief system + the way she perceives other people and the world is so…i cannot think of a better word so: SHUDDERING. but she’s friends with my circle of cohort/friends so she’ll always be in my circle…?

[aezyrraeshh]

; OC AS A LOVE LANGUAGE

tagged by @indorilnerevarine to take this quiz for some of my ocs; thank you so much for the tag! <33 tagging @arklay @aartyom @risingsh0t @steelport @devilbrakers @liurnia @florbelles @shadowglens @calenhads @aelyosos @jillvalcntines @shepardgf @swordcoasts @cultistbase @brujah @girlbosselrond @camelliagwerm @reaperkiller @faarkas @veisshaupt @celticwoman & whoever else wants to do this!

; a knife called grief

You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything. You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.

; an undoing influence

Can someone tell you what to do? You have been carrying so much love within you for so long it is starting to turn into anger (why does it matter, all you see is red anyways) and you have been dragging this body through each day and every night you are split open on your bed and it is so so so lonely. If someone were to walk in while you were on your bed that way and they stitched you back in a new way, lining the seams with their love and kisses, you’d probably find this dreary world a little more bearable. You want someone to turn you over and over until you look in the mirror and see yourself looking back at yourself with a gentleness which has been lacking in you since forever.

; violent devotion

Everyone seems to think you are faithless, but the thing is you haven’t yet found someone who will bring you to your knees and make you raise your head in reverence. This world has stopped bringing you joy, you want more of the divine. You want to dedicate your entire existence to someone; you want to make them realise they are not something terrible, make them see just how much beauty they are bringing to this world. You want to be the only one for them, the only one they have chosen to love. There’s a god shaped pit inside of you and only they can fit in it. And what if they choose to walk away? Didn’t I say this was violent devotion?

[grapecaseschoices]

wyll really deserves better. wow. like i knew it. but seeing the way ravengard speaks to him. i could just choke.,

i'm glad tav/durge can call him a bastard anad say he shouldve drowned. bc whew.

[todayisafridaynight]

something that REALLY bothers me about the 3jima situation in 8.... how did no one know that that happened ? sure, ichi doesn't use the internet a whole lot, and kiryu wasn't keeping contact with them cause of daidoji bullshit, but... did ichi just Not keep contact with them at all? when they were literally doing what he was trying to do at hello work ?? giving ex-yakuza a shot at having a real job like ????

not to mention that a scandal like they went through definitely would have made it into the news like... hey the government is working with the yakuza. isn't that just a huge deal ????? that I'm sure SOMEONE must have seen

that whole thing just feels so so stupid iw sucks so much I'm so disappointed

IW's handling of daigo's security company is actually so half-assed- we don't even get watase's perspective on it despite him being a part of that project too he just fucks off entirely without even a mention

[heraldofcrow]

All my mutuals update their fics at the same time and I want to join so bad, but I’m stuck staring at my 8k+ word WIP chapter and sobbing because the word count keeps growing and my sanity slips as I add increasingly horrible details and rewrite all those details because I’m never happy with my initial draftings and yeah, I’m hopeless…

Anyway, back to it.

[etchedstars]

all i want for christmas is the ability to know when to not engage with situations that will send me into major anxiety attacks

[shukruut]

.

[akkivee]

so the imagery on kuukou’s nb sukajan!!!!!!

these lotus mandalas of course represent enlightenment, but in this specific instance, i believe they are in reference to the the ‘mandalas of the two realms.’ these realms, the diamond and womb realms, come together to basically teach wisdom and and the principles of buddhism. within these realms reside deities and the sanskrit in the mandalas represents a deity in those realms!!!!!

the character that looks like a ‘b’ represents ‘kujaku myoo’ a female wisdom king residing in the diamond realm!!! she is associated with the peacock, which eats insects (like we’ve seen kuukou do in arb lol) so she’s worshipped for removing suffering and misfortunes from others. the other character represents the deity ‘dakiniten,’ another female deity residing in the womb realm!!! she’s one of the handful of gods carried over from indian mythology into buddhism known for protection and blessings.

combining these together, kuukou’s sukajan likely symbolises protection from suffering and misfortunes, as we’ve seen him do a handful of times in canon!!!!

[pigeonriot]

i am just someone in my 20s, figuring out basic stuff about life one thing i should have known years ago at the time

[rizzmin]

I am sorry my precious zenny zen, I was so mean to you :(

[bobzora]

the answer coming back - awesome. never finished it in fes because the gameplay was miserable. gives me a reason to finish it this time and play more reload

it being part of an "expansion pass" - comical. ah yes, wave 1 two song packs. wave 2 a costume set and a song pass. this is really funny