#i should stick to my guns about dropping origin labels at all but i Have to Know

[moonviewcrew]

more Struggling™ with origin thoughts.

I've realized over time that shit that I went through in my childhood does "count" as trauma and continues to affect me to this day. And it was even at an 'early enough' stage of my life. And yet I know literally the exact day I heard of tulpamancy and the exact day I decided to form Jay (from diaries), and that was about 4 yrs ago when I was in high school. So we're not traumagenic.

However since then we've had the rest of our headmates form from nowhere except basically stress. So it's like I had to open the gate for my brain to use plurity as a coping mechanism. BUT another part of me wonders if I did have "plural tendencies" (dunno how to phrase it) as a child but not realize it? Cuz I remember things like getting entirely lost in my own head to the point of phasing out reality around me, or things like looking in the mirror and being surprised I had a different body than in my head. But I don't have any headmates from before Jay. Closest I had was a very very personified plushie but she's not exactly around anymore, plus it normal for kids to talk to a teddy bear or whatever.

Honestly the whole 'endogenics are secretly traumagenic' narrative might just be messing me up and making me search for things that aren't there, but I need to write it all down instead of just letting it tumble around in my brain. I'm probably grasping at straws to feel more valid or something. Idk. I'm also very sleepy right now so I should head off to bed but a certain headmate suddenly has a lot of creative drive so lmao we'll see.

[hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis]

Virago 14. Leap of Faith

Summary: Y/N was sent to the ground after spending five years in the Skybox for stealing medical supplies and murder. How will she deal with her new environment and learn to survive on earth? Will she crack under the pressure of becoming a leader of the 100 or will she embrace it. 

Post Date: 09.04.20

Word count: 1.7k

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Based off: 02x03 “Repercussions”

Masterlist

100 Master List

Clarke starts to try to unlock the cage Anya is in but there’s no luck, “We’re gonna get you out of here,” Clarke reassures Anya. 

Clarke gets up and looks for something to break the lock open and you follow after. As you look around you find a rusty bar that you could pull off the wall.  You hand the bar to Clarke who quickly pries open the lock on the cage. As soon as Anya was about to get out of the cage you hear some beeps coming from one of the doors and watch as Tsing walks in. You quickly find an empty cage on the bottom row and crawl in as Clarke crawls into Anya’s. 

Tsing grabs a blood bag from a container before making her way near the cages to check out the commotion the grounders are making. She walks in between the cages inspecting them before walking out of the room.

“Okay. We’ve gotta go. Now.” You say quickly getting out of the cage and helping Clarke with Anya. She wraps an arm around each of your shoulders as you guys make your way out of the room. You and Clarke grab ahold of a door labeled “END CONTAINMENT AREA” and make your way out.

You guys find yourselves in a small room with what looked like a door underneath. As soon as you guys made it into the room. The door behind you guys started to close. Clarke tried to open it back up but it was not luck. 

“What is that?” Anya questioned as an alarm started going off.

“I don’t--” You started before the ground below you three disappears. You fall down a chute into a bin. You soon discover that you’re laying on a pile of bodies. You and Clarke quickly get up as Anya examines the bodies. 

“Anya! Take my hand.” Clarke yells holding her hand out. Not too long after Anya takes Clarke’s hand and you get out of the bin. As you take in your surroundings you notice that you are in some sort of tunnel outside of Mount Weather.

“We’re out,” You say after getting ahold of yourself and Anya just stares at the grounders in the bin.

“Hey. Come on, get dressed. We can’t cover any ground like this.” Clarke says making her way to a pile of clothes.

“I won’t leave my people behind,” Anya protests as you look through the clothes.

“Anya, listen to me. My people are still inside that place too, but they have guards. They have weapons. Once we get out of here, we can find help. We can come back--” You start.

“There is no ‘we’” Anya interrupts. Soon after you hear shouting down the tunnel. “Someone’s coming,” She says as the voices get louder. 

“Not just someone. Reapers,” Clarke says recognizing the speaking. Anya quickly goes over to pick something up. “Hey. Anya, you can’t fight. You can hardly stand. I have a better idea. Come on,” Clarke points out and pulls Anya towards another bin. 

You and Clarke help Anya get into the bin and you follow after. Clarke quickly grabs clothes and throws them into the bin before getting in herself. The three of you lay quietly as the reapers continue to approach. The next thing you know you have the grounder bodies tossed into the bin and on top of you. The reapers continue to pile the bodies atop of you guys before wheeling you guys away. You feel the panic start to rise but stay as calm as can be for the sake of living.

After being wheeled for what felt like forever, you finally stopped. The reapers pulled out a body. Clarke got up to inspect the area. “Okay. Come on,” Clarke whispers getting ready to get out of the bin.

Anaya gets up and cups one of the grounder’s heads, “What are you doing? Let’s go,” You whisper wanting to get away as quickly as possible.

“Yu gonplei ste odon,” Anya says, before snapping his neck. Clearly a phrase in grounder that you didn’t understand. The three of you then make your way out of the bin, throwing the clothes over as you do so. You grab some of the clothes and the three of you quickly sneak away down the tunnel.

The three of you quickly get dressed in the clothes and continue down the tunnel, clueless of where you are, “Damn it, this place is a maze,” You say.

“What are they doing to us?” Anya questions taking a moment to herself.

“They use your blood. I saw a soldier come in with radiation burns. Hours later, he was fine. It’s like your blood is healing them somehow. I’ve never seen anything like it,” Clarke explains out of breath.

“Come on. This way,” You say after slightly inspecting the tunnel a bit more. But Anya starts to walk off in the direction you just came from. 

“Hey. Hey. What are you doing? That’s the way back to the reapers,” Clarke questions noticing Anya didn’t follow.

“You two go your way. I’ll go mine.,” Anya states.

“Anya, we need to stick together,” Clarke quickly responds.

“I told you there is no ‘we’”. You two have eachother,” Anya replies back.

“We saved your life,” You add-in.

“You saved my life because you need me. I know the way back to your people. I know where the traps are hidden. You two would never make it alone,” Anya states.

“We don’t have time for this. Our best chance of making it out of here alive is together. All we can do is keep moving and hope--” Clarke says as the two of you continue down the tunnel. But you turn around and find Anya gone and alert Clarke to it.

“Anya,” Clarke says in hopes she wasn’t far. 

“Come on, let’s go find her,” You say and start to run back from where you came.

“No, we need to get out of here,” Clarke pulls at your sleeve to run the original direction you were going.

You and Clarke continue to run through the tunnel but are still lost. Soon enough you find yourself faced with a reaper. As the two of you try to run away you find yourselves surrounded by them.

“Clarke, what do we do?!” You ask with urgency.

“I don’t know,” She says as you’re backed into a wall. Before you are mauled by the reapers a high-pitched wailing fills the tunnel and the reapers run away.

“Get back. Get the hell away from them,” You see two Mount Weather people in suits make their way to you.

“Clarke Griffin and Y/N Y/L/N, you’re coming with us,” One of the men say. Each of the men grabs one of your arms and drags you back to a door into Mount Weather.

“We saw everything. We know what you’re doing to them,” You tell the men.

“That’s why you two are going in the harvest chamber with them,” The man states. “Alpla-delta two. We reached the intake. Two prisoners in custody,” He says as the other man goes to the keypad. 

“Your mission was to bring back all three. The outsider cannot be allowed to leave this mountain. Alpha-Delta One is coming out now,” A man says over a radio. Soon enough you hear screaming and one of the men is taken down by Anya. You pull off the mask of the man holding onto you.

“His mask,” Clarke yells to Anya who is smashing the guy into the wall.

“I found a way out. This way,” Anya yells and runs off. You and Clarke follow but not before she picks up the gun on the ground. You hear the men follow you as you make your way down the tunnel.

You see the light in front of you and continue to make your way towards it. But stop just short after noticing the huge drop off in front of you.

“Wait. There has to be another way,” Clarke says unsure of the escape route.

“There isn’t!” Anya yells back.

“Just give up Clarke and Y/N” You got no place else to go,” A man says as the group of men catch up to you guys. Anya doesn’t hesitate to jump off and disappear into the water below.

“We don’t have to kill you two. Do you hear me? It doesn’t have to end like this. Drop your weapon,” The man says. Clarke does what the man says and puts her hands up, you follow after her.

“Clarke, we have to jump. We can’t save our people from inside here,” You say just barely loud enough for her to hear over the roaring waters below.

“I know. Just follow my lead. Together ok?” She says walking forwards and you do the same.

“Take the prisoners,” The man says to his team. As soon as you notice Clarke turn around you run and follow her. Jumping into the water below.

You gather yourself as you feel the force at which you hit the water. You loom around for Clarke and find her unconscious. You muster all the strength you can and pull her with you down the stream. As soon as you felt you were far enough away, you pulled Clarke to the edge of the stream and see Anya make her way up to the two of you. She helps you pull Clarke into a small clearing.

Luckily Clarke woke up, “Thank god. We made it out,” You tell her as Clarke gathers herself.

“Thank you,” She says turning to Anya whose sitting on the other side of Clarke. “I think we should go back to the dropship first. So we can see if my people--” Clarke says before Anya takes a rock and smashes it to Clarke’s head and doing the same to you.

“We’re not going back to your dropship. You two killed 300 of my warriors. I can’t show my face without a prize. Might as well make it two while both of you are here,” She states as she starts to tie both of your wrists together and dragging the two of you off.

A/N: Y/N made it out of Mount Weather, but is a prisoner of Anya’s along with Clarke. Yes, I’m sure you’re thinking, Y/N and Clarke could totally take on Anya together, but she’s a badass and I wanted to stay cannon to this part as much as possible. Thanks for reading!

🏷: @im-a-writer-right​ | @marsbar-inspace32​ | @zestylemon99​ | @unrvquited​ | @thebeautifulbookworm​​ | @gxvrielle​ | @simonsbluee​ | @iwishilivedinthesims​ | @awkwardspontaneity​

[ubernoxa]

The Token: A GNR FanFic

Chapter 4: The First Gig

Story Summary: Story inspired by the movie She’s the Man. A female Duff is tired of dealing with the bullshit of trying to make it on the strip as a female bassist.

Chapter Summary: Michelle is worried that Izzy will reveal her secret about her being Duff. Free coffee, and their first gig as Guns N’ Roses!

Masterlist

Taglist: @viralwolf02 @littlemisscare-all @smokeandmirrorz @aratbaby

Please let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list or if I forgot to add you. (I’m not the best with tag lists

Author’s Note: sorry this chapter is kinda long, but I didn’t want to beak it into two smaller chapters.

Chapter 4

I balanced the coffee as I quickly knocked on the door of the Hell House as the guys called it. Axl had arranged a band meeting for god knows what reason this morning before our first gig. As I peaked into the windows, I quickly realized there was no movement inside. So much for our morning meeting, the guys were probably still asleep.

Things had been going pretty well this past week, not to brag or anything. It was probably one of the more stressful weeks in my life with the pressure of a gig around the corner. Lucky for me most of songs were covers I had played before, and the guys helped me with any originals. I would be lying if I said Macy didn’t pound on my bedroom door telling me to stop in the middle of the night. She would always look at me like a crazy person when she told me to stop and quizzed me on why I wasn’t sleeping. I always shrugged and said I wanted to be ready for the gig. I didn’t want to let my band down; however, that was only part of the reason. I never told her about Izzy. It had been a week since Izzy had casually dropped the bomb that he knew that I was masquerading as a guy.Since that day he hasn’t brought it up. Even after spending over 8 hours a day practicing, he didn’t say a word about it. If we talked, it was about music or tweaks we could make to sound better. He was a good musician, he really had an ear for it. All of them did actually, I was lucky they chose me.

“Mornin,” I was met with a very tired Izzy. He held the door open for me as I walked in quickly realizing that there was no way we were going to have a meeting in a couple minutes.

I walked into the living room and set the coffees down on the nearest flat surface I could find. I felt a flash a relief flow through me as the drinks safely made it to their destination. I had spent the last Thierry minutes of my very boring shift making them.

“They’re labeled, I’m assuming you know what your name is?” I said before plopping down on the couch.

“Any reason for the...” Izzy gestured towards the coffee what was sitting on the table nearby.

“Michelle was working this morning and wanted to treat the band with something nice because morning meetings suck...especially if Axl arranged the meeting,” I causally responded trying to keep up my act.

“Is she coming to the gig tonight? I’d love to thank her in person,” I rolled my eyes at his comment and sent him my best ‘are you serious look?’ earning a quiet chuckle from him.

I watched from the corner of my eye to see if I got his order right. I watched as he smiled after taking the sip.

“How many people know?” His question shouldn’t have caught me off guard but it did none the less.

“Depends,” my answer was short in hopes that he would drop it. Inside the house where the rest of the band was currently sleeping wasn’t the ‘ideal’ place to have this conversation.

“Depends on what?”

“On how many people you have told.”

“I’ve told no one,” his answer caught me off guard as I raised a brow.

“Really? Not even your Indiana brother?” This earned another laugh from him as he shook his head no.

“Do people seriously call us that?”

“That’s how I was introduced to y’all. I believe it went something like ‘and those pair of dicks right there are Axl and Izzy. Don’t waste your words on them. The redhead will get pissy no matter what you say, and I highly doubt the other would even pay attention.” I took another sip remembering Derek from my last band Double Dead introducing them to me them as if I hadn’t known who Izzy and Axl were. After a while on the strip you learn who’s who rather quickly. The main question was if what you learn about a person was the truth. Word of mouth was a dangerous thing

“Wow that’s harsh,” part of me felt bad for Izzy and I honestly should have left that out the last part.

“Well that’s when I was apart Double Dead, which looking back was a shifty band name. If I remembered correctly later that evening after the gig you guys beat the living shout out of my band,” I couldn’t help but check at how much of a train wreck that night was.

“That was the night you got me good with your bass!” I smiled as his laughed quickly joined mine.

“So you did recognize my bass! It was the dent wasn’t it?”

“How could I forget the bass that got me in the side of the head. Not every day does a chick beat you with her bass. Left a bruise for a month.”

“Well...in my defense I was aiming for Axl...sorry,” I felt bad remembering that night.

“No need to apologize, pretty sure Axl started the fight.”

“Little Axl Rose? Him? Noo....he would NEVER start a fight,” I teased back. It was moments like this regret flooded me. What if I came to them as Michelle instead of Duff? How different would things had been?

“What’s in this?” Izzy pulled me from my thoughts and back to reality as he spoke.

“Just like a magician, a barista never revels her secret,” I teased as I tried to hide the smile that was growing like a weed on my face.

My original plan was to make black coffee’s for everyone, but I knew Steven wouldn’t like it. Once I started making Steven’s, I thought why not make the rest of the guys a personal cup.

“You still mad at Axl?”

“No, why?” I turned my attention back towards Izzy as he spoke.

“The small cup, I’m assuming it’s for Axl because he called Michelle a mediocre bassist,” I shook my head and couldn’t help the laughter escape my lips.

“The small cup is for Steven. The last thing that boy needs is a lot of caffeine,” this time it was Izzy’s laughter that filled the room.

“If I....Michelle...wanted to mess with Axl, she would have put milk that was beyond spoiled and mixed in vanilla and berry flavors to mask it. It would give him the runs without knowing what caused it!” I stared in a matter of fact tone. I’m not saying it’s a prank I’ve pulled on my oldest sister, I’m just saying I didn’t not do it. Plus she had it coming.

His laughter filled the room again, “noted”

“What do we have here?” Slash asked looking at the coffee cups sitting on the table.

“Coffee, each of them are apparently different. Yours has your name on it,” Izzy said

“What’s mine?”

“Medium roast with cream,” I quickly responded earning a glare from Izzy.

“Not too bad,” he shrugged before joining us on the couches.

“How come he gets to know, but I don’t?” I had to mask the smile of my face with a shrug. He had made me feel like I was walking on glass, afraid he would tell the guys I’m actually a girl, all week. This wasn’t on the same level, but it made me feel like for once I had an upper hand. (Even though it was only coffee)

“I can’t remember? Plus Michelle is the one who made them anyway,” I raised my arms in defense never breaking eye contact.

“You dating her or some shit like that,” I watched as Izzy immediately took a sip of his coffee to hide his smirk.

“No, why?” I was frozen as I tried to understand his logic.

“Well she’s kinda acting like a groupie...”

“Who’s acting like a groupie?” Steven popped into the room like the morning sun.

“Michelle,” Izzy responded. I hated how much he was enjoying this. He was enjoying watching me squirm.

“Kinda tall, brunette, bassist, nice legs?” Slash asked with Steven quickly nodding.

I continued to drink my coffee wishing that I could turn invisible. This felt weird. I felt like I should leave the room or something.

“You should invite her to the gig tonight,” Steven’s heart was in the right place and what he was trying to do was sweet, but I wanted him the shut the fuck up. There was a small logistics problem with Duff inviting Michelle to the gig.

“Yeah! We can thank her for the coffee after the gig,” I glared at Izzy as he spoke. He was enjoying this. That bastard...

“I doubt she’ll come,” I shot back at Izzy.

“Who won’t come?,” by now Axl had finally made it down to the living room. He quickly grabbed the last coffee. Why the hell was everyone waking up NOW.

“Michelle, the bassist” I shot back.

I watched as a smirk formed on his face before he took a quick sip of his coffee, “Yeah, she ain’t coming. She’ll probably avoid Guns N’ Roses like the plague. Especially after what happened with Pixie and Double Dead.”

I prayed he wouldn’t elaborate what happened with Pixie. He could talk about Double Dead all he wanted. Pixie though, Pixie was another story.

————————-

“Stop being such a girl Duff, your hair looks fine,” I sent Izzy a glare from across the room. I could tell he was all too happy with his comment. That bastard had been teasing me all week, and aI was getting sick and tired of it.

“If anyone is the girl here it’s Axl,”

“It’s called Glam Slash!” By now Axl was standing where I was only moments ago applying some additional eyeshadow.

“How many cans of hairspray did you have to steal to get your hair to stick like that,” Izzy said above the laughter.

Axl’s hair resembled a lion’s mane. It was impressive and I was beyond jealous. I wished I hadn’t cut off most of my hair, so I could recreate his hairstyle.

“You’re just jealous! Chicks dig the big hair!” He shot back at Izzy.

“He’s not wrong,” I couldn’t help but smirk as I spoke, my voice barely auditable over the noise of the bar. Izzy just rolled his eyes and went back to messing with his guitars.

“You’re on in 5,” a man yelled into our tiny room causing all of my nerves to flood my body. That’s when I realized it had been months since I had performed on stage. I could already feel my palms getting sweaty as I sat down next to Steven. I could feel him watching me as I wiped my hands against my pants.

I felt him pat my back causing me to look up at him. “No need to be nervous. You’ll kick ass out there.”

I sent him a fake smile which he obviously didn’t by. “Dude, Duff, you’ll be fine. Plus it’s always good to be nervous!”

“Why would I want to be nervous? That’s when you make mistakes?” I shot back. Steven is a great guy, but sometimes I don’t understand what he’s getting at.

“Being nervous just means you care. Plus it’s your first show on the strip! You’ll love it! The energy is incomparable!” There was some sort of sparkle in Steven’s eyes that was uplifting. It was like a child talking about all of the candy they got on Halloween.

“Here,” I looked up to Izzy who handed me a shot.

“It will help, and if it doesn’t we have plenty more,” I nodded and took the shot from him and held back a cough as the burn traveled down my throat.

I earned a cheer from Steven and Slash passed me my bass.

“Alright boys lets go kick some ass and show them a show they won’t forget!” Axl yelled right before they walked onto the stage.

And kick ass we did! Despite Axl hating snakes, his dancing reminded me of some type of rattlesnake. It was pretty entertaining to watch, but Slash running around the stage like a mad man was even better. After our third song in the set, I quickly followed Slash’s insanity. The entire performance felt like a breath of fresh air, and the moment I stepped off of the stage I wanted to get right back up there. It just felt right. We clicked. I had lost tracks of the amount of times I have performed on a stage, but I have NEVER felt anything like I felt tonight. This was something special. Maybe this was the band that would make it. Maybe?

Steven raised a bottle of god know what and cheered, “To Duff, no longer a Sunset Strip virgin.” Cheering and laughter filled the room as he spoke. I knew what he was getting at, but there were thousands of better ways to phrase it.

“I’m gonna go for a smoke,” I said before stumbling towards the door. The air outside was more refreshing than the cold beer and vodka I had been drinking since the gig was over.

“Congrats,” I turned to see Izzy standing in the doorway.

“Same to you,” I smiled.

“Well I wasn’t a Sunset Strip virgin before the show so...” I glared at Izzy only for a second before I join in his laughter at what Steven had said earlier.

“How much has he had to drink? Because I don’t think he thought that last sentence through,” I joked back.

“Good thing you aren’t a girl; otherwise, his statement would have been taken into an entirely different context. Very inappropriate,” Izzy cooly replied earning a small chuckle from me. Guy’s minds are all the same.

“I was worried Steven was going to fall out of his seat while he was playing earlier,” I said in hopes of changing the subject.

“That’s popcorn for ya!” He offered me a smile before he went back to smoking.

After several moments of uncomfortable silence, I added “And for someone who hates snakes, Axl sure dances like one.”

Izzy nodded apparently keen on not wanting to have a conversation. Fine then, awkward silence it was. I still needed the fresh air to help me sober up a little. I closed my eyes and focused on the sounds of the strip and the refreshing cold air.

“You never answered my question earlier,” Izzy stared snapping me back.

“Which one?”

“The one about who knows about your secret,” he replied earning a small ‘ohhh’ from me.

“At least four people know. You, Macy, Walter, and Betsie,” I replied.

“How’d Betsie find out?”

“She saw my face,” I shrugged as I spoke to him. It was inevitable. I was originally hoping I could hide behind my hair, but Macy cut it just a tad too short, so I was wearing sunglasses.

“You do have a unique face,” I shot him a confused look. Was that supposed to be a compliment or insult? I just shook my head and decided against pressing further.

“So what’s the plan?” I turned to Izzy as he once again broke the silence and pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Plan for what?”

“You can’t remain a guy forever. You’re a chick, eventually you’re going to have to reveal that,” he turned towards me as he stomped out his cigarettes

“When we get our record deal or first tour.”

“When? Wow someone’s getting cocky,” Izzy shot back.

“Did you feel it?” My voice was barely louder than a mouse as I spoke.

“Feel what?”

“I don’t know Izzy, it’s hard to describe. But when we were playing I felt something. Yeah, we had a small crowd, but I felt something I’ve never felt before!”

“Yeah, I felt it too, but be careful we already have one cocky bastard in the band, we don’t need a second.”

“Yeah...yeah...”

More silence followed.

“Is it weird, preforming as Duff?”

I sent Izzy a small smiled and shook my head yes.

“It’s like a mask I put on. When I’m on stage playing, I’m always Michelle. There is no changing who I am inside. Whenever I look in the mirror or play Guns N’ Roses songs it feels weird. Guns an’ Roses is Duff’s,” I took relief as I said those words out loud.

“I like your hair by the way. The brown part that you didn’t dye, it’s kinda poetic. Even though you put on this show that you’re Duff, Michelle is still there,” Izzy said before turning to head back inside.

“Hey Iz, how do you think the guys would react if I told them....” my heart sunk the moment my eyes met his.

[thatfairyfangirl]

True Colors Chapter 32

As Bucky drove you up state you stared out the window, the coloring trees blurring by as the crisp autumn air danced through your kaleidoscope locks. He frowned as he glanced over to you looking like the light that day inside you was slowly going out. “So have you thought about what you're going to tell your mom?” He asked softly as his right hand drifted from the wheel to your hand, giving your palm a soft run with his thumb.

“I don't know.” You sighed lightly as you let your fingers wrap around his. You loved him for trying to comfort you after all that's been going on. Deep down you knew how lucky you were for having someone like him. “I mean obviously i'm going to tell her it's safe to go home… but I'm not sure if I want to tell her anything about dad.”

“Don't you think she deserves to know?” He asked as he turned in to the gates of the school. Looking up to the expansive mansion he still had a hard time believing this was a school.

“Well yeah...but what good will that do? I mean at the end of the day Dad's dead… just not as long as we originally thought.” He nodded understanding what you meant. “Telling her would just ruin the memories she has… it's probably better to let her think of him the way I used to.” You confirmed as he parked the car.

“Doll, you're still pale.” He warned you lightly reaching up to play with the pastel colors of your hair.

“Thanks Buck.” You said with a light smile before using your power to force more color in  as you gave him a soft kiss on the cheek before getting out only to be greeted by a rush of young mutant students. You chuckled at their excitement as they hugged you and Bucky alike. “Wow guys are you really that excited to get my mom out of here?” She teased as they began to pull and push the both of you inside. You watched as the young teens grabbed at Bucky's bionic arm fearlessly reveling in the smile that brought to his lips.

“Oh wow.” Bucky sighed as his eyes widened as they were gently forced you both inside. The common room was done up in the festive christmas decorations that were a few months too early.

“Guys...what is all this?” You asked with a wide eyed sigh. The mansion never looked more beautiful than at Christmas.

“Your mom told us your label was needing a music video for your christmas album.” The chestnut haired Kitty explained exuberantly. “She thought the school at Christmas would make a good set so…” She trailed off as she held her arms own presenting the work they put in to help you.

“Oh you guys thank you.” Your eyes swelled with grateful tears as you through your arms around her. “Where's the usual team though?” You asked curiously, taking note of the lack of X-Men.

“Downstairs. Looking into lead on missing mutants.” The familiar deep Russian accent behind you spun Bucky around to find the giant metal man that helped you save him from Sin. He gave him a thankful look as he held out his left hand for him. The clang of metal on metal as their hands met respectfully rung in your ears as you turned to fling your arms around him.

Missing mutants...a pang of guilt shot through the pit of your stomach as the words washed over you, reminding you that Ali had come to you with the problem weeks ago just before shit hit the fan for you personally. You knew you should have worried about it sooner. But when would you have found the time?

“Did my mom and Nana behave?” You asked with a hint of worry. You weren't too sure on the idea of sending them up here in the first place. But you could think if nowhere safer to hide them.

“You tell me.” Colossus answered as he gestured to the door leading into the next room of the mansion turned school. The two women sat on the sofa surrounded by two or three mutant children. Nana had been teaching one to crochet as your mother braided the purple hair of the winged fairy like mutant that unknowingly brought you out of your depression the last time you spent an extended time here.

“Wow” was all you had to say.

'All trained X-men to the danger room.’ Bucky's eyes darted around the room frantically as the voice of Xavier made an announcement in everyone's mind. Sure he met the guy when he came with you to drop off your parents but never before had he experienced telepathy. “What the hell!?” Bucky exclaimed as he swatted his metallic fingers around his head. In a way he felt a bit bad. Though he tried his best to be supportive of the mutants they were all so different, even from each other. It was so hard.

You chuckled watching him attempt to defend against the mental announcement. “That's Professor Xavier.” You explained before closing your eyes, focusing on thinking as loud as you could. 'Professor. Bucky and I are here. If this is about the missing mutants we would be happy to help.’  “Buck you should go get the stuff out of the car.” Ever since all this started you saw it fit to pack suits and at least some of Bucky's guns in the trunk and now he finally saw why. He nodded, not entirely sure what was going on but glad to help.

'Thank you Spectrum. Bring him on down to the danger room.’

“Mom, me and Bucky are here we have to go save some mutants then we'll be back to take you home.” You called into the other room before taking his hand and leading him toward one of the hidden elevators.

~ ~ ~ ~

The blackbird landed just off the property of a warehouse that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. “Spectrum you know about The Purifiers?” Scott asked as everyone readied for their rolls. You nodded. Just rumors really, but from what you heard they were worse than Friends of Humanity. “Good. You stick with Winter Soldier and Nightcrawler work on extraction. Wolverine and Colossus, you are on offence, Jean and I will be on Intel gathering. Let's try to be in and out as fast as possible before the Purifiers decide they have enough to make whatever plans they have worth it. ” Bucky listened to the plan finding an odd sense of peace as they called him Winter Soldier without fear or hate. It was amazing how these  mutants were so tolerant of him and his past. He's become less ashamed of it and the name that came with it ever since you came around, lighting his life, turning the Winter Soldier from a monster into a man. He looked over to Bucky. “Here,” he tossed Bucky a comlink very similar to the one the Avengers use.

“Thanks.” Bucky said lightly before you focused your abilities on the light around the three man extraction team. The three of you stepped lightly through the building, searching room by room until at last you found deep within the warehouse a large room lined with cages filled with limp barely living people, each of them physically mutated in their own way. The sight was enough to turn your stomach. These mutants...these people were all ages, some much younger than you were when your powers emerged. Your hand flew over your mouth holding in a horrified gasp that distracted you enough to drop the camouflage.

Once you were in sight the guards snapped into attention shouting to the others “INTRUDERS!” Bucky's eyes narrowed coldly as he lifted his M249 Paratrooper, BAPT BAPT BAPT BAPT. The room flashed as he fired. He made sure the shots were non lethal, but enough to down the guards and shut them up. The captives cowered into the corners of their cages at the gunfire. Was this it? Was this the man that was going to end them?

“Oh no don't be afraid. We're here to help you!” The blue demon elf assured them in a German accent before with a bamf of sulfur and smoke popped in and out of the cages, taking the prisoners with him. As he did Bucky took position in the doorway, barrel of his gun pointing out waiting for anyone to dare. But why would they? You were focusing your abilities with all your might. A group this large was tough, and Nightcrawler's popping in and out made things difficult but you managed to hide them all from sight as Kurt one by one took all the victims back to the blackbird.”

“No! Don't take me!” Screamed a small boy as he retreated away from the blue fur. You and Bucky turned to see what the commotion was. Your heart fell as you looked over the boy with clouded eyes and iridescent scales glittering with every color, the beginning of brown horns poking out of his forehead.

“He won't let me near him.” Kurt sighed as he bamfed between you and your love.

“Here, let me try.” Bucky offered as he strapped the gun to his back.

“He's the last one, we got this Kurt. Go Ahead and get back to the blackbird, take care of the others. We'll be along soon.” You assured Kurt before he nodded and teleported away.

The boy watched him saunter over to the cage, backing himself up against the wall with shallow rushed breaths. “Hey don't worry pal. We're the good guys.” He offered with that charming 40s smile you fell so in love with as he knelt town to the child's level. “You're scared huh?” He nodded. “Miss your mom?” He nodded again. “I'm willing to bet she always told you to never go with strangers.” And again a nod. “That's good. That's smart.” He held out his right hand to the boy. “I'm Winter Soldier. That's Spectrum and Nightcrawler. We're superheroes and we've come to get you back to your mom. What's your name?” The child was hesitant at first but soon came around to scooting closer and taking the hand in a handshake as he whispered shakely that his name was Josh. “Alright, see, were friends now.” He said with a light smile as he stood, jerking the lock off the cage with the strength of his bionic arm. “Now how about you come with me?”

You smiled brightly as the small scaly boy climbed into Bucky's arms. “But they're going to see us.” The child muttered with fear in his eyes as he rested his head on Bucky's shoulder, beginning to feel a bit groggy from the drugs the Purifiers had been coursing into him.

“Don't worry little one. That's where I come in.” You assured him as you reached for Bucky's SIG-Sauer P220ST just out of his reach with the child resting in his right arm, clinging to his chest. With a wink to the child you handed Bucky his gun, liking the idea of him having it as back up as you held on tightly to the concentration needed to keep the three of you unseen. “I just need you to stay super quiet for me. Can you do that?” He nodded and you began the slow creeping walk to the blackbird. The entire facility was aware the team was there, much thanks to Wolverine for that no doubt. But through the chaos and blaring alarms you made it. You both breathed a sigh of relief as you sunk down into your seats on the jet before checking on the child. Tears were streaming down his face wetting Bucky's shoulder, his grip on Bucky's thick leathered shirt was so tight his knuckles were going white, pure terror sat in his eyes. The poor thing. Your arms wrapped around the both of them as you sang softly Somewhere Over The Rainbow in a soothing tone to calm him, glad to see it worked. As the X-Men flew back to the school your heart lifted slightly, distracted from all the pain your heart had endured by the sight of Bucky holding onto the child so protectively, wondering if that's what it would look like if the two of you ever got around to having one of your own.

[mohini-musing]

A blindness that touches perfection

Chasing Ghosts universe, set not long after Tasha reentered James’ life

Tasha’s reappearance in his life in a lecture hall brought the two halves of his existence into conflict, a Venn diagram melding slowly together - the before and the after stretching out to meet, converge, and the confluence of those two parts of him would either be his undoing or salvation.

Now here they are three weeks into the semester in his living room, hunched over a cheap coffee table and assembling what he can only think of as atomic model tinker toys in preparation for an exam he’ll be happy to scape a pass out of.

Her hand is trembling as she reaches for the little colored baubles, meticulously constructing a representation of the compounds they have to deal with for this unit. Organic chemistry should have come with a warning about this particular endeavor for those lacking in all original parts, James muses, before he registers that the tremor is making it impossible for her to connect the little sphere to the corresponding cylinder.

“Tash?” he asks, voice low enough to be barely heard. The startle his question evokes scatters plastic atomic model pieces all over the carpet, and she curses before looking up at him.

“Dammit.”

The word is more hiss than anything, and he clenches his fist to keep from reaching out to her.

She presses balled up hands hard against her eyes, chest heaving as a gasping breath whistles through gritted teeth.

He wants to grab her, pull her across the space that divides them and hold her close. He wants to ask her what is going on, but he waits. Tasha hits harder than half the guys he fought alongside in the desert. Provoking her is a bad choice in the best of moments and right now it’s a particularly ill advised one. Long seconds pass before she looks up with red, watery eyes.

Her face contorts in what he supposes she intends to be a smile. It’s all teeth and no joy; lips chapped beneath perfectly applied stain. Deeply wired training makes every tiny detail stand out, each small tell seared into his consciousness and igniting instincts he thought he left behind in a home where every door held secrets and every utterance subtext he didn’t care to read.

“I hope you don’t think you’re getting out of telling me what that’s about,” he tells her dryly. Tasha doesn’t go for coddling. Better to be direct and hope for the closest thing to truth. She’s too good a liar to give him the actual thing, but he stands a decent chance at getting a shade of it.

“Give me my bag.”

He obeys, reaching behind him for her small canvas pack. There’s the rattle of a couple different plastic vials within as she rummages and withdraws a hand clutching a brightly labelled bottle. It promises magical fat burning and appetite suppression.

“Tasha,” he begins, his lips moving before his brain engages. No one on the planet needs to lose weight less than the girl in front of him. She’s always been thin, but this new version of his former baby sister is all sharp angles.

“Shut it,” she interrupts.

Spindly fingers dig a couple beige capsules from the bottle and she knocks them back without so much as a glance at him. Her throat works a couple times to get them down before she shakes her head one quick jerk and drops the bottle back into the depths of her bag.

She doesn’t look up when she speaks.

“It’s not like it’s cocaine.”  

He doesn’t know why he still has her micro-expressions embedded in his brain, but right now it’s immensely helpful. She’s biting at the center of her lips, but the set of her forehead tells him it’s not nervousness. It’s searching for a believable lie.

“And we both know how safe you are with that,” James shoots back when the silence stretches a little too long.

“I’m not a fucking child.” The petulant look she gives him almost makes him regret the words. Almost.

“You never were. What’s up with the not cocaine, then?”

“Hangover,” she mutters.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I have a fucking hangover. I don’t have time for a fucking hangover, so I’m drugging up and moving on. I presume you’re familiar with the concept?”

Now that he looks closely, her eyes are a little bit on the glassy side. He’s wired to think of her as perpetually a little bit buzzed, though, so it hadn’t been noticeable as anything worthy of further study. He doesn’t know where he stands, what the boundaries are right now. Years ago, he knew her as well as he knew himself. Now she’s as good as a stranger, while also being absolutely his baby sister.

“You have a hangover, which means you’re dehydrated, and you’re popping amphetamines?”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious, for that astute contribution,” she snarks back.

He resists the urge to snap at her, to tell her she’s being an idiot. Instead, he heads to the fridge, grabs a bottle of Gatorade, and passes it to her. She takes it without a sound, twisting off the orange lid and downing most of the contents in a few long draughts.

“Why do you have a hangover on a Tuesday night?” he asks her. Even as the words pass his lips, he sees the problem. She’s going to hear accusation, and she’s bound to shut down hard. He hears the word on a ghost of a memory – incoming.

It’s not a projectile heading his way or a kid with a gun bigger than his arms. But it’s no less hard to witness. Tasha’s face transforms into marble, cold, hard, empty.

“I don’t have to answer that.” The words hold no inflection but they are true. She doesn’t. She has no obligation to him or anyone else to explain the hows and whys of what she does to her body. It doesn’t stop him wanting her to offer them, but it does keep his lips closed and the rest of the questions unasked.

Are you drinking every day? How much? Are you sleeping? Well? Food? Are you safe? – All the things he wants to know and can’t badger her with. Pushing too hard is a recipe for being shut out entirely. Failing to push tells her he doesn’t give a fuck. Tasha’s an expert at subtext, skilled enough that she can find it where it doesn’t exist. Every time.

“Point,” he says instead, before kneeling at the floor and gathering the model components and placing them back in front of her. It’s message enough that he’s heard her, that he’s giving her space to say what she’s ready for, and to keep her silence if she isn’t. He’ll keep the electrolyte drinks coming, stick a bottle of Motrin on the counter, and wait until she’s ready to explain. Patience has never been his virtue, but tactical planning – that’s a thing he knows well. Tasha is often best approached as a mission with unclear parameters. He has plenty of experience with those.

They’ve put together a half dozen more compounds when she stands, walking with long strides down the hall and hitting the rug before the toilet with a soft thump of knees on shaggy discount store fluff. He hears her cough a few times before the Gatorade makes its reappearance. Going to her and rubbing her back, holding her curls, offering comfort, all of those options filter through his mind and are discarded. He was on her path from the room. If she wanted him, she would have grabbed his hand and pulled him along. It was always her way as a child and so little else has changed he can’t imagine that has either.

The toilet flushes a third time before stumbling footsteps announce her return. Her face is a sickly grey, a vague flush beneath prominent cheekbones. He pats the space next to him and she drops into it, knees drawn to her chest as she slips sideways against what is now only some of an arm. A moment of alarm as he wonders if she’s going to be upset by the prosthetic. She doesn’t stare at the glove on his hand the way most people do, but that’s a far cry from cuddling metal and silicone.

A tiny sniffle pulls him from his insecurities. Tasha doesn’t do tears. Except she’s going to now. She plops her head onto his shoulder and he reacts on instinct, curling her into his body and wrapping his arms around in the embrace they knew as kids. She’s boneless, her trembling form going where he guides as he holds on for all he’s worth. She’s not crying, exactly. More like leaking saltwater from clenched eyelids while her breath forces warmth through the fabric of his shirt in shallow gasps. Regardless, he begins the litany he learned in another world.

“Just breathe,” he tells her. It’s all the comfort she’s ever allowed. He could tell her she’s not alone, that she’s safe, that he’s got her, but none of those have ever helped. Simple orders, direct but gentle, those are the way to go when Tasha needs whatever it is she needs right now.

“I have a new caseworker,” she whispers when her body has stilled. “She called me darlin.”

They’ve never really discussed specifics of what happened to Tash before she turned up in the group care home. James does know that there are words, phrases, snippets of everyday life that send her hurtling back to places she’ll do terrible things to herself to stop seeing.

“How long?”

“First visit was yesterday morning,” she murmurs. “I started drinking when she left.”

James doesn’t need to ask how much she had. He can’t smell alcohol on her so she must have had little enough to not leach it through her pores. That doesn’t rule out an exceptional amount consumed, but it does mean that it’s not a habit, not in a way that he needs to worry for her safety. He’s no idiot. Tasha needs her vices the way other people need oxygen. For now, he can trust that she’s hungover on a Tuesday evening but that she’s safe enough in her skin.

[curupiracue]

The Final Fight (1)

Where could they be…? Just were…?

Here? Here? Maybe here? Or there? Or…!?

This… This feeling… like passively drowning in a swamp, like floating in ephemeral clouds of ashes… This must be Novalue!

“Aah… Aah… Calm down… If I start panicking, they will find me… Though. This sure makes it wors-”

They’re there! And what’s more, they’re still! So, in other words, they have not gone to the Mental World… They must be either setting a trap or running away. If they haven’t noticed me yet, this is my one and only chance!

“The Arm! Manifest yourself from behind me! And then I’ll observe, umblikingly, the knife you’ll throw at the- W-What?!”

They’re suddenly gone?

D-Damnit! I dropped the knife on my hand, making it easier to defend myself if need be.

But… Where could they be?

“That Arm might seem pretty good at defense, since you can summon it close by… But it will flounder at many easily reached circumstances. In other words… You can’t reach me if I attack from behind.”

(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)

Since it requires looking at things, and things that obscure your view, angle, direction and naturally obstacles need to be considered when battling Ienorb.

Unless he looks over his shoulders, he cannot summon the arm behind. He can summon it from behind him, but that’s different. The only way he can quickly block attacks from that direction is if someone else is looking at him from behind. Thanks to the most brilliant tactic of closing our eyes, we’re not looking at him. His only method of attack would be to pick some other spot and throw a knife at us from there, but that would be too far away, given we’re at point blank melee range.

And as such, we can attack with free reign.

“Nim, you can go first.”

“Gotcha’! It’s Showtim- Wait… There’s something wro- ! Novalue!”

Instinctively, I opened my eyes. And I saw…

A knife flying on my direction.

Nim jumped over me.

The knife hitting Nim instead.

And Ienorb, close to both of us, his back still turned, but his neck slowly moving so that he could look at us. Ienorb, in that helpless position, covered by the fog of his mask… and behind that fog, he had three arms and an aura of darkness.

“Closing your eyes actually worked on my favor, see. Though, I admit that was not part of the plan… It still worked perfectly towards it. I was so very afraid… that you’d notice the me here is not actually me at all… HEheehehehee. ...Everything I grab with my real arm manifests in the illusory one. I’ve learned my lesson about you types: if I just go running towards the fight, I lose, if I attack from a distance, I lose. One way or the other, you get me. So I decided, you wouldn’t get me! And would, instead get this decoy! HAH! And doing it was as simple as finding a vertical wall and a grabbing my own torso! An arm for a decoy, and another one in a blind spot to finish you off by throwing a knife while you’re distracted! All while I, Ienorb Yenruoj, stand away in safety!”

“GUH!”

“Nim!” I took a step forward, preparing myself to catch him. He… Seems alright. In the sense, that he won’t die when the damage is resolved. But still… He’s badly hurt…

! No time for feeling worried. Seems like there’s more knifes coming. In fact, many knives, in rapid sequence.

“Oh, and about these knives… Turns out, since The Arm’s state reflects the real one’s, so long as I keep my knife in hand, it will always reappear in it’s hand! That, coupled with it’s speed, means that I can machine gun fire KNIVES, baby!”

“Damn… (deep breath...) Unreality.”

All of a sudden, we’re in a void.

“Nim?”

“...I’m here.”

“...Are you ok…?”

“...I’m better than you would be, were you hit with that thing.”

“...Didn’t really mean it like that.”

“Yes. It’s obvious.”

“So?”

“...” Wait for it… “...I’m pretty angry. You could probably guess that too. We can talk about this later. But, I’m not angry at you.”

“...Yeah. I guessed that too. No, rather… I just knew.”

“Can you hear me from over here?” Suddenly, Ienorb’s voice came out, with a bit of hesitance and unease that made me feel pride in my construction.

“Sure can.”

“Oh, so we can communicate. How friendly.”

“...You sure pulled out something smart there.” Nim interrupted.

“Oh? My, my… Thank you very much for the compliment, however begrudgingly it might have been given.”

“Mind if I ask you a question?”

“Ah? Go right ahead. I don’t quite figure I can, uhh, do much when you’re in that… that… that.”

“Who are you?”

“? Haven’t I told you? I’m Ien-”

“No, I didn’t mean that! You’re giving me your name! That would be what you are. I want to know who you are, what fills your mind.”

“Now hold on there! You’ve mixed it up. Indeed, you even said it yourself, “what fills your mind”, in other words, you should have asked what I am. That way, I could’ve talked about my characteristics, my memories, and such. But these are not necessarily my identity! They change with time, after all.”

“Huh?! Ugh… Now is not really the time to defy my judgement. Look. It’s simple. A name is a mere designation. It’s a thing attached to you. And it can also change, so no way is that an argument! Who I am is my identity, and that is the characteristics that make me me! Pfff… Meme… Ahem! Moving on, they might be called things in of themselves, “whats”. But they compose a who. Well, you could argue that a who is a what as well, unless, or maybe even without some sort of essential essence such as a soul. but for practical purposes, this is what it is!”

“Ah! Blasphemy! You can’t comprehend! If we’re talking about practical purposes, then naturally it’s better to just use the default system of giving your name when asked who you are.”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t care about that, see? It’s a thing of identity, of mind, of what’s inside the Mental World, not just some cheap label!”

“That label encompasses your entire existence, all those characteristics. Just like calling a sofa a sofa can immediately allow people to picture a sofa.”

“Yeah, but I’m trying to tell you, that people won’t know about you just from the label. It’s different, the sofa example is the example of a group name. It’s like saying: “I’m a human!”. This will allow people to know you’re not a manifestation. But they won’t know about you as a person, and giving your name won’t allow them to.”

“Ugh! But it’s not about allowing to them to know about it, I’m talking about what’s most appropriate!”

“Oh, don’t come with cheap terms!”

“...Shut up you two.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just difficult to do so. I tend to get worked up a lot when it comes to how things should be. Hah, funny that it’d be worded like that.”

“? Whaddya mean?”

“It’s just that I believe there’s never an appropriate what, but rather, an appropriate “how”.”

“That can mean a bunch of shtuff.”

“Well… I’m a man who likes things to follow a proper order, see. Because ultimately, nearly everything has an algorithm, a path that is ”perfection”, or tends towards it. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t do, mind you. Hence, why I insist that it’s the how, rather than the what that bothers me. You can date people of all genders, classes and ethnics, but you must date well. Though, it’s a tad complicated getting into the specifics of a good romance, so maybe a more down to earth example… You could eat omelettes or make some toast for breakfast… But  say you’re going to make the omelettes… Then the right way to go about it, which I always use, is to break two eggs, in separate containers, and then, after mixing them, put half of one of the containers away.”

“Two containers…? And you divide one…?!”

“Yes, quite. So that I end up with one egg and a half, which is the right amount. I store the leftovers for future use, of course, said use belonging to a very close future so as to avoid having them spoil. After I’m done with that,” he continued, now gesturing with his hands the actions described “I’ll put them in a frying pan, with oil already boiling. The right way to proceed then, with my cooking devices at least, would be to wait for a moment of around one minute, maximum margin of error being 15 seconds (not 16, never 16) and then flip it. Wait for exactly ¾ of the time you waited originally, turn off the fire, put it in a plate and eat it. Then, when you’re done, you clean everything up, and only then you may go about doing something else. It is the proper way to do things, and it is the how I do it, all the time.”

“Amazing… What about the salt though?”

“SALT?! Are you MAD?!”

“...I see. You’re obsessed, in other words.”

“Hm? Yes, quite. Though these are merely idiosyncrasies. My true obsession is, as you know, in my attempts to find true art.”

“Hah. Finding true art, huh… We’re not that different. So lemme’ tell you something good: it’s precisely because of that obsession that you will never find the truth.”

“What do you mean? Isn’t this… contradictory? I’m obsessed with pursuing the truth… and thus I won’t find it?”

“Yes, quite. People can’t see the truth because they don’t want to. And they don’t want to because they want to see something else. Emotions, beliefs, attachments… in other words, desires. These are what cripple truth-seeking. However, without any desire, there can’t be any seeking in the first place. That’s why it’s so difficult being a philosopher. It’s a oxymoron. A borderline paradox. Without understanding that, you may get far, but you will never reach the truth.”

“Hah! This is quite ridiculous, I must say. Enough talk. It seems apparent you can’t attack me from there. So? If you won’t come out, then I might as well steal a car and drive as fast as I can.” Proof of his sheer ignorance: pretends to steal a car rather than a hundred.

“We WILL come out, Mr. Ienorb.” I said, sticking my head out. “And I rather believe that this difficult situation is a perfect match for my own weapon...” And then my hand comes out of Unreality, holding… “It’s A Gun.” I said, and shot it (BLAM) as a “demonstration”.

���...A gun? A gun?! Are you mad?! This can’t be. A gun… A GUN! Of all things, a gun! Surely, common sense dictates that an arm possess greater force than a gun!”

“Is that right? Well then, let’s test that.”

(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)

BLAM!

Hmm… He shot it.

That bullet… Is making an arc?

“And now for the second one.”

BLAM!

Hmm… No… That arc is directed towards me. If it keeps going like this, the first bullet will hit me. Novalue managed to use this to pinpoint my location, and, as such, the second one is aimed straight at me. If so, they might impact at the same time… Or he might intend to make me worry more about the first one while the second one makes a beeline towards me and catches me off-guard.

…!? No, wait, this is…!

“THE ARM!”

Pum.

“Hah, hahaahaah… Well… That was sneaky. Thought I wouldn’t be able to catch it in time. Novalue, you tried to distract me with figuring out the details of your homing bullets, as well as the mind games of the “first” and “second” bullets… So much so, that I forgot about the actual first one. The first time you shot… Since you weren’t aiming anywhere, I just passed it off as a demonstration, as you showing off… By the time I learned that you didn’t need to aim anywhere to hit me, I was no longer focused on it. But still, these bullets are weak! The Arm can easily catch them, so long as I see them coming! They’re fast for you, but I’m on a whole other level!”

“Tsk...”

“Oh hoh! I see the third bullet coming! It’s going on a straight line towards me! This will be even easier! The Arm!”

I can see it clearly! I’ll easily block this… Since they’re constructions of similar symbolism, The Arm can even absorb these! I’ll just…

...Is Novalue smiling at the distance?

Why is he…? …!

The bullet! Made a sharp turn?!

“You’ve got everything wrong. The first one was a fake sneak attack. In reality, I just wanted to find out where you were. You should have focused more on the second bullet. By the time I shot it, I knew your location, so I could make my gambit. I shot it off in a perpendicular angle to the straight line towards you. That way, it would be off to the sides, and you wouldn’t see it that well… And it’s better off like that. Because it wasn’t aimed at you at all.”

“?!” Suddenly, I see, from the corner of my eye, a book flying away from behind me, almost disintegrated… and a bullet on it’s cover.

“See, it was aimed at that book over there. And that’s not all. The third bullet, too, was aimed at that book. Since you were in the middle of the line between the book and the pistol… you probably thought that it was aimed at you. But that would be a mistake. And now that the second bullet has arrived right on schedule and knocked that book away...”

“The bullet has made a sharp turn right outside of your reach…! And don’t worry… I’ve calculated it well. It won’t go so far off as to miss you entirely. So Ienorb?”

“Ghh… I-I’ll block this bullet nonetheless! There’s time... ! With my superior speed! THE ARM!”

Vwooosh!

POM!

“Block the bullet? I don’t quite believe you can block it by ramming your chest towards it… but nice try at the impossible nonetheless. Impossible, since your speed too had been well calculated. See, though Nim may be powerful, he is far too impulsive. When I move, it’s because I’m already certain that victory is mine.”

(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)

Ienorb, whose position was now more clear and visible to us, flew backwards with great force and crushed the bookshelf, which then fell on top of him.

“Ouch.” That in itself couldn’t cause any actual damage to him, but still…

It’s like getting your arm hugged with intense force, while someone rubs their cheek on your shoulder…

Wait, what?

“OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO COOL!” Yes, Nim, part of that reason being that you were quiet the whole time. Thank you for that. “Way to show him who rocks, Novalue! Esfregaesfregaesfregaesfrega…!”

“Uhh, thanks...” I looked down at him, and he looked back at me with shining eyes.

“...It’s too bad you’re short though. I hate having to kneel to do this.”

“...Well, if my shortness is such a concern…”

BRAM!

“...!? Seems like he’s up again.”

“Oh, so you’re useless after all.” Nim said, pouting “He already blew up the bookcase.”

Ienorb got up, and scratched the small crack in his chest. It was very subtle, but that part was off colour: rather than white like the rest of the suit, rainbow tones flew from it in small doses. Thanks to it being a small wound, noticing that was quite the herculean feat, however.

“Well, well. You did outsmart me, fair and square. However, Novalue… That construction of yours, is not strong at all. Were you to fill me with bullets, like a pincushion with needles, I would still fare reasonably well.”

“True, I suppose. But Ienorb, we already know your position. What now? I can gift you some more bullets for you to block with your body, if you wish.”

“Hah. That trick won’t work twice. Next time I defend myself from a bullet, I won’t try to grab it, and will instead block it with two arms, as well as making sure there’s plenty of coverage in my small shield. Oh, idea! I will just use something as a shield. I could even use myself again. Heh, I, Ienorb, am truly an evolutionary creature, a “magikarp” as they say.”

“You gonna keep chatting, or ya gonna’ summon that knife behind our backs? ...From behind our backs. Literally.”

“Just so that you can hide away in nothingness? No thanks. In fact… Difficult as it was, I’ve made my decision.” Ienorb jumped, and summoned the arm to hold his torso “The Arm! allow me to FLY!”

“Wait, you can’t mean...”

“Yes I can! Though it’s immensely regretful… well, this was the place I was born… I’ll still risk it all and run away! It’s evident you two are much too strong, and I’m working with a time limit, I believe.”

“Nim!”

“Yeah, I got it! Hang on tight!”

(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)

Suddenly, Novalue is enveloped by water forming tendrils. These tendrils, being used as a rope, were, in turn, connected to my arm.

“Water Rope. Time to see who’s faster, Ienorb~”

Then suddenly, countless more of these came from me, and latched on to multiple objects, before pulling.

...And then Novalue and I went flying.

[belost-the-watcher]

Infestation

An orange haze settled throughout the halls of the derelict ship. The airlock groaned and struggled against jammed machinery, finally giving up and sticking half-open. Muffled voices from behind swore and chattered to one another briefly before a metal bar slid through the gap and wrenched the airlock open with a loud grunt. Rust burst out from the seams and joints and a handful of galra stepped through.

Two of them wore heavy armor and were more equipment than person. Known commonly as Raiders. The third was much more lightly geared. A tracker on loan from the Empire's army. All wore gas masks strapped around their heads.

"Alright. Well that's the hard part done," the lead said flatly and stuck the bar to a magnetic mount on his backpack. "Your turn, Windor."

Belost squeezed his way passed the armored giants. The hallways were tight and the two raiders could barely stand side by side without scraping the dust from the walls. He took the lead and knelt to the floor, swiping a finger across the paneling. "Rust. Dust. Motes. We'll probably start seeing eggs soon. Either this ship is smaller on the inside or its more infested than we thought," he forced his words out to be heard through his mask.

"So there's a few more crawlers. So?" A voice from the back spoke up, shotgun strung across his shoulders. The name Noht scratched into his armor.

"So it means there's hardly any ship left that's worth salvaging."

Their commander spoke up again, "We're not here for the ship. Command's looking for a manifest from the ship's old captain. Records for who he sold to and more importantly where he got his supplies from." He hefted a large metal cylinder in one hand, "This is just to make our job shorter. Gas the place, get out, let the tech support come in and do the rest."

Belost stood. With as small as the hallways were, it was still mind boggling how a smuggler could afford a ship this size. It was nothing compared to the Empire's fleet ships, but it was still nearly the size of a light carrier. And those didn't come cheap even to the Navy.

The tracker started off and their commander, Stros, waved on the back to follow along.

____________

"I meant to ask, why not send the entire squad in? Instead of just you two," Belost asked over his shoulder as they moved through. Breaking the silence of his own footsteps was hardly an issue with the clunking raiders behind him.

"With as narrow as these hallways are, what'd be the point?" Noht said from the back.

"I guess so," Belost answered. He was no stranger to being outnumbered and raiders were originally trained as boarding parties. But infestations made him uneasy. Especially on ships where there was usually only one way out. It was new territory for him, he'd only been through one infestation before. But apparently that made him enough of an expert to be brought along. He'd have to remember to thank Sendak later.

Belost slowed to a stop after a few minutes when he noticed rocky looking scales fused to the wall. They resembled the shells some seafood was still served in. He took the lip of one between two fingers and gave it a light twist. The hard tip snapped off then crumbled between his fingers.

"These things are dried out. A lot of matured crawlers. Let's hope the nest is far away from the circulation room. They'll be in hybernation, assuming there wasn't a few years' worth of food on board, but I doubt even they'd be able to sleep through two tanks walking passed them."

"We'll play it by ear, then," Stros replied.

____________

The three walked in relative silence for a few mintues, Belost checking the occasional biological sign along the way. Stros kept an eye on what crude blueprints they could manage for the ship and mapped out their path on his datapad. Noht, who towered over Belost, watched the hallways and junctions over the tracker's head, shotgun ready. A heavy belt ran from his weapon and to a large cannister on his back. An iconic weapon of the raiders.

"So what's up with all the rust?" Noht asked. "This ship was still active two years ago. It can't have gotten into this bad of shape on its own."

"The eggs eat through the coating on the metal and leech chemicals from it. It makes the eggs strong but the metal brittle. Oxidizes it given enough time and enough eggs. Coincidentally, the shit it puts in the air too? Really bad for your lungs," Belost answered. Despite hardly being an expert, he did at least read up on the creatures inside the ship before deployment. "It's why these things are prohibited from transport. They'll wreck a ship in just a few months. Sometimes not even that long. Then you end up with floating hives like this, they get pulled into orbit, some eggs make it out planetside and then it's Tharaon IV all over again. No more machinery, a lot of dead people and pretty much no more planet."

"Banning these things from transport didn't really stop them from making it here, did it?"

"Idiots will smuggle anything as long as the money's good enough," Stros commented.

"But if there's this many eggs, how haven't we seen any yet?" Noht asked.

"They're hybernating. Chances are that if we see one, we'll see all of them. And there's not actually one for every egg. They hatch in a swarm, but these things get cannibalistic when they're in a low food environment. At least up until a certain point. They won't eat another crawler the same size as them, just the smaller ones. Then when they run out of food they stop breeding and hybernate for a while. It's good for us since all of them are probably asleep. But if they wake up..."

Noht began to ask a follow up before Stros cut him off, "Ventilation should be this next turn up ahead. Get ready." He holstered his datapad and drew his submachine gun from a sling on his chest.

Belost saw the hallway diverge into a turn.

____________

"Fuck!" Belost could have spit were it not for the mask. Stros stopped arming the bomb and looked to him.

"What do you see?" Noht asked, hands laced together and holding Belost's boot steady.

"The intake is loaded with eggs and the fan's been rusted through," he said as he dropped back down to the floor.

"A ship like this won't have a secondary ventilation room, either," Stros said mostly to himself.

"So what's there to do now?" Noht asked, shaking his hands out where the treads had dug into his fingers.

"If we can't gas the place out then we'll just need to get the manifest ourselves. My first guess would be to look in the captain's quarters. I doubt he would keep it stored in the ship's intranet."

Belost pat the orange dust from his hands, "Great. Do we know where that is?"

"Not too far. We'll need to backtrack a bit and head in the opposite direction of here."

"Opposite direction, huh? We haven't seen a crawler yet and now we need to go in the opposite direction? You know what that probably means, right?"

Stros hoisted the bomb back into his hand. "That's why I'm keeping this on me."

____________

Heavy breathing surrounded Belost on all sides. If the manifest was not in the Captain's Quarters, he was going to kill Stros himself. 'Like you said, we would just wake them up,' their charismatic leader had told him right before suggesting Belost walk into the veritable horde of sleeping crawlers alone. Even Noht looked uncertain about the plan. Maybe the raider simply disliked having to stay back and let somebody else do all the work. Or maybe sending somebody into a nest of sleeping monsters just did not sit well with him.

The tracker twisted his ankle awkwardly to avoid stepping on a bundle of dark spines sticking from one crawler's back. The creatures themselves looked like what Earth dwellers might know as tailess whip scorpions. Something that had no business being the size of a cow. Their legs were spindly and barbed with thick claws anchored in front of clacking maws.

One infestation had been plenty for Belost. And his experience then had been unfortunately similar to his current. But at least then he had been on a planet. Somewhere with any number of places to run or hide.

A thick limb brushed the back of his calf and he spun, hand already half-drawing The Bell before he found the creature to have only twitched in its sleep.

Some were piled on top of one another, their legs curled up to fit in the tight hallways. Belost could not be sure but he would bet there were some even in the ship's ventilation above him. Who knew where else they could squeeze into?

He came to the door he was looking for, one labeled CQ in bold. He pressed the button beside it which lit up. The mechanism of the door ground audibly, making a wide-eyed Belost check all around him for signs of stirring, and the light faded offline. A one way mirror was beside the door. If only he could have looked through it somehow, see if there was anything even worthwhile inside. He sucked in a deep breath through the filter of his mask and gripped the handle of the door. The galra flexed and pushed, trying to slide it into the wall panel as quietly as he could. Eventually there came a thud and the door slide aside.

More of the orange dust, a mixture of rust and molting residue, flowed out from the now open doorway. Chunks of one of the crawlers lay strewn about the room and the shredded belongings of the captain's quarters were among them. Belost lift a datapad from the ground, the display cracked and sprayed with old blood. It was crushed beyond salvaging, but maybe the datachip inside was still good.

He checked the port, it was empty.

Belost set the datapad down and walked to the terminal on top of the captain's work bench. He stepped around and checked the console. Somehow it was still running. He wiped the orange dust from its display and looked through the system. Eventually, he came across a series of files which detailed various transfers. Names, dates, amounts, product. Everything they needed. And no way to transfer it. Of course. Why would a smuggler want to let anybody get a copy of something like this?

Belost looked around. No ports for datachips or linking devices. Just a display and the casing beside it. The data drive had to be in it. He looked to the terminal and powered it down.

Then silence was shattered by a cheery sounding chime blaring from the terminal's speakers.

This time there was no need to check. Belost heard them stirring immediately. He dug his claws into the tower of the terminal and ripped the brittle side panel off. The fans had just stopped spinning by the time he yanked the data drive from its port.

Heavy footfalls scuttled to the doorway and a crawler stood near eye-level, watching him for only a moment, chattering wildly and scuttered inside. He heard others outside, a domino effect of waking. Belost shuffled around the table, fingers clinging tight to the drive while the other drew The Bell. He pointed it at the crawler that scurted over the table, then to the second that had already taken its place in the doorway, and then to the window.

What few weren't awake already were jostled out of sleep by the gunfire.

Belost leaped through the window and fired another shot into the gathering crowd of clicking and chirping creatures. The explosive payload of The Bell shattered one into chunks of gorey shell. The clicking turned to hissing.

He ran through the halls, retracing his careful steps, firing into whatever crowds might block his way, not daring to look behind him. The distant sound of Noht's shotgun pounded rhythmically. Even in his outright panick, Belost noticed the lack of Stros' weapon in the commotion.

He fired again, scattering a crowd only briefly, but just enough for him to make it through. Dull fire rushed up his thigh. A familiar enough pain to know something somewhere had got a claw half-around his leg at some point.

Belost came across another blocked hallway and rose The Bell. Instead of the crack and kick of recoil, however, it was only a click. He tucked the data drive under his arm and broke the weapon open, an empty cylinder ejecting with its distinct ping. A crawler scuttled towards him and he could feel more near his back.

Then the ones before him exploded in a shower of shot. Noht covered in blackened gore rounded the corner, "Get down!"

Belost dropped, hearing the whoosh of a claw just overhead, and then suddenly the world around him vanished beyond the rumbling explosive roar of the raider's shotgun.

Something heavy rammed into the ground beside Belost and he was enveloped in grey smoke. It stung his eyes and he scrambled forward in the lull of gunfire and a hand grabbed his arm and hoisted him behind Noht. Practice took over and once he stood, Belost reloaded The Bell and took the drive in his hand once again.

Stros was pulling him back through the hallways, Noht following closely behind. Belost noticed the bomb missing from the commander.

____________

The floor shook beneath Belost's feet, his bandaged thigh pulsing painfully. The ship lit up in a bright, purple ball of plasma as it took the entire flagship's broadside. He let himself enjoy what he could. It was going to be an hour or two in quarantine after all that.

Stros was fast tracked through, the data drive's delivery too important to keep waiting for longer than necessary.

Noht and Belost, however, would have to wait for the full package. He just hoped they wouldn't burn his clothes.

[perkoform]

SKITS

Title:

The WHOLE-SALE

Characters:

Shipping God

Middle Man

Customer

Plot:

Okay so middle man is on the phone to shipping God the whole time. Customer is trying to buy a beauty product that makes you look EXACTLY like Grace Kelly, through this shipping company. But middle man keeps refusing.  It is one act.

*note on recitation: watch youtube video called: Zuikin Girls – take anything you want! For tonal value.

Dialogue:

Shipping god: we can’t sell that. Tell her that.

Middle man: I’m sorry ma’am we can’t sell you that product today.

Customer: come on, I have the money. (Pause). Trust me sir, I know about the side effect, how it makes you look EXACTLY like Grace Kelly.

Middle man: (turns away from customer) she says she has the money and that she knows about the side effect, what do I say.

Shipping God: don’t tell her anything. Say we do not sell this product.

Middle Man: I’m sorry ma’am we do not sell this product, you will have to try somewhere else.

Customer: (to audience) contrary to popular cinematic convention, (whips out giant gun) I’m not going to whip out a giant gun and threaten the guy, because I can’t get what I want. (throws gun over shoulder)

Customer: it’s a beauty product! I mean, can’t I for a moment take my own health into my own hands…?! (scoff)

Shipping God: tell her, it’s her health.

Middle Man: it’s your health, ma’am.

Everyone laughs

*Someone holds up a sign to the audience that says, ‘LATERS, ON…’

On stage is a girl with her hair in a towel, wearing a GRACE KELLY mask.

    Title:

I ordered ‘The Rest of Eternity’ Online

Characters:

Shipping God

Customer

DIALOGUE: Customer: hi, I ordered ‘someone else’s life to live’ the other day from your company, but some part of the product was still a drag to experience, and I’d like my money back please.

Shipping God: I’m sorry sir, there must have been some kind of mistake. I would like to inform you that we have just received a new shipment of, ‘Krishna’s Own’ Good Karma, ‘Corrupt Cops’, ‘Colonial Values’ and ‘The Original Scapegoat’ that comes in ‘the body and the blood red’,‘Twin Towers were an inside job grey’, and ‘the dingo stole my baby blue’. The blue one comes with an ‘assumption’, on the house. Would you like to try one of these products today sir?

Customer: Why thank-you, I might try ‘Corrupt Cops’. Do you still stock Solipsism? Yes? Thank-you, I’d like to order 22 of this product if that’s possible.

Shipping God: Okay sir, the items will be shipped out just in time for the next mention of a social revolution.

Customer: tank-you.

             Title:

The Punch-Up: Season 1

Characters:

Fred

Jim

(played by women)

Plot:

Fred and Jim are having a rational conversation about how they do not get along at the moment and about how they used to be friends.

*NOTE: Jim and Fred both wear one boxing glove each. Fred is holding a beer can the whole time. Jim is holding tongs and wearing an apron.

Dialogue:

Fred: oh my god I hate youuuuuuu…(said like, hi how are you?)

*throws a punch

Jim: you have no idea (said like, its been a while how are you? Using fake smiles.)

*throws a punch

Fred: I’m going to kill you over that incident with my wife.

*punching each other

Jim: haven’t you heard of polyamory, maybe you should branch out and actually live a little.

*remove their punching gloves and stop punching

Fred: you know…you make a good point. I actually can’t fight you there…I agree, but you see I’m channelling Barbara, (turns to crowd and says, ‘she’s my wife’) and she needs me to be jealous, so you are gonna fuckin’ pay for what you did. I am pissed.

*put gloves back on and start punching again

Jim: tell her I’d knock her up, that’ll do it. .  

*cease punching for a moment, jim and fred grab each other by the shoulders and say

Fred: we should all just have kids withal the wimmin. Leave no womin unimpregnated. 24/7.

Jim: yeah, what kind of society is this? What are we even doing here, I mean why isn’t 24/7 baby making like, the norm??

*resumes punching. Jim continues punching as Fred stops to contemplate

Fred: I’m gonna try and answer that. Perhaps it’s just not the right time in earth’s geological cycle to support that kind of reproduction, the food plants are not growing enough. They are sending us an internal, instinctual message that this is kind of life is not supportable at the moment.

Fred continues punching as Jim states

Jim: very logical, I think that’s the reason. So again, why do you hate me? Because Barbara needed you to be jealous so that she feels valued?

*fight stops for a second

Fred: I’m not the type to say to her, ‘but hey Barbara, you scored me and Jim!’

- maybe I should say to her, ‘you’re an individual’, that wouldn’t go down that well, maybe ‘you’re special, there’s only one of you’.

Jim: try saying, ‘you suit me uniquely’

Laughter from Fred and Jim

*resume punching. They punch for a while. Jim goes down cold, Fred states

Fred: it’s just like I don’t even know, there’s no one like her or anyone for that matter. Even twins are different. So like, I can’t value her anymore at the moment.

*Jim is lying on the ground, he states

Jim: I get it you have to like, show her that you value her, without getting into a brawl, show her that jealousy is not the answer! Free love is the answer!

Fred: I don’t know how that’s possible, all reason aside.

Jim: okay Fred, okay.

 PROPS:

Boxing gloves

A moustache (for Fred)

Face paint (to paint a beard on Jim)

Beer can

Tongs

Misogynistic apron

*note must be wearing wife beaters and short shorts

    Title:

Get A Way With It

CHARACTERS:

Jimmy

God

PLOT:

*Jimmy is reciting the following text, while doing the following things:

 Jimmy shoots Satan

Jimmy shoots God

Jimmy dowsing the Great Barrier reef with bleach.

Jimmy cuts down the oldest tree known to man.

Jimmy dressed as Captain Cook, shooting Aborigines

Jimmy dressed as Bob Marley, shooting the sheriff.

A baby born doll with giant lollipop. Jimmy steals the lollipop.

Jimmy is wearing a shirt that says, ‘Get-a-way-with-it’

 DIALOGUE:

*Jimmy smokes a bong.

God: And so it was told, (Jimmy shoots Satan)

Jimmy: (said with an efficient air) Shit in one hand, wish in the other and see which one gets full quickest. (shoots God)

This is what my mother used to say. (Shoots aborigine)

Because everyone knows that if you can get away with it, (bleaches the reef)

it’s legal. Because, well, it happened. (steals candy from baby) No one stopped you right?

and so, It. Is. legal. (licks the lollipop, then throws it away)

So, aim for the heart, stab once, and tell ‘em, down the street. Because (shoots the Sheriff)

you only get one chance, and if you fuck it up, it’s your head on the chopping block. (cuts down the tree)

 PROPS:

Hitler moustache

Bandana (for aborigine)

Face paint – black and white

boomerang

Fork and horns

Toga and beard

Captain cook hat

A map

20 Litre storage container/round fish tank with coral statue in it. (to label with a sign that says ‘the great barrier reef’)

Bottle of bleach

A bong

Baby born doll

Giant carnival lollipop

Dreadlock wig

Sheriff badge

Potato gun

Potato

Cardboard cut-out of a tree

A saw

A t-shirt

Black marker

          Title:

Poignant Sculptural representations #1: The Winning Diorama at the Primary School Fete

Plot:

20 litre storage container full of black water with a layer of dirt and astro-turf stuck to the lid. Jimmy sticks a pump in the turf and pumps out the “oil” into a jerry can, by sucking on the pipe. Meanwhile, an automated voice reads out geological facts about oil and its lifespan and how it’s the nutrients for the forests of the future.  (in a really poignant way.)

Title:

Poignant Sculptural Representation #2: The Prospective Sculpture

Plot:

On a table is 30kg of clay with a scroll in a canister, hidden inside. Participants have 5minute to search through the clay for the canister with the scroll inside. If they find the scroll they get a free beer. This will be on stage by the way, in the interval.

              Title:

Track Marks and Pigeonholes

Characters:

‘Main Character’

‘Other people’

Plot:

*this is a video work

‘Main character’ is not a heroin addict.

‘Other people’ believe that ‘main character’ is a heroin addict. ‘Other people’ won’t stop treating ‘main character’ like a heroin addict.

‘Other people’ are constantly trying to catch ‘main character’ in “the act” of taking heroin but ‘main character’ actually never takes heroin so they will never catch them.

‘Other people’ cry and wail and state “when do you do it, I know that you do!” and grab him by the arm, to check for track marks.

‘Main character’ always begs ‘other people’ to believe that “I don’t do that, seriously. I don’t know what else to say.”

SCENARIOS:

‘other people’ bust in on ‘main character’ and accuse him of taking heroin:

-          On the toilet

-          In the shower

-          In bed asleep

-          At the corner store at 11pm

-          Driving

-          Praying in an empty church

-          Helping an old lady across the street

-          While watching television, the people on the television are accusing him.

-          Running from crazed fan grrls.

-          In china from inside a bowl of rice.

-          After he drops a hanky and a crowd swamp him ‘Perfume-style’. He blurts out over the top of the crowd, I don’t take heroin!

Haha

 *ALSO:

Idea: Making Mighty Boosh Into a SERIOUS DRAMA about father-son bonding psychology

Title:

Initially Undetected

Story:

“You’re Not allowed to Draw Me While I’m Raping you emotionally with This Other Girl,” he said, sounding a bit annoyed. “it totally ruins the point.” He got up and pulled out his dick, no no, he pulled it out then got up and walked over to me. He grabbed the computer I was using to draw him with (on paint) and clipped me in the head, with the computer. I went down cold, hah hah. Funny story.

 Title:

Last in Winning Backwards #1

Plot:

A girl wakes up in her backyard one morning. She is lying on her back on the grass. She thinks, “it’s a beautiful day, I might go for a walk”. She goes for a walk in the park. As she’s walking she contemplates life. The end.

Dialogue:

*Birds twitter. The sun is shining.

Girl: hmm I think I might go for a walk.

*Cut to park. Girl is walking

Girl: I think that I might believe today that I was born along time ago. And it was before anyone I know in this life were ever alive. I had decided shortly after I was born that, I would never fuck and live forever. So I guess it makes sense that larger society marginalise me. I ignore it when they marginalise anyone else, really it’s just me. The point being, for the third time, they marginalise people. They hate. They are murderers. They don’t get shit. They don’t honestly do it with the same vengeance to everyone else, and and, hell is hierarchical. Not heaven. So I’m the top dog around here. Do you get shit? Hah hah respiratory I fucking will wake up in this bed cunt tomorrow morning. You will NOT get me out of bed, CUNT.

[welldamnsatoru]

Chapter 10: We’re partners in crime // Shawn Mendes

Authors Note: AYYY so here it is.. last part :( so sad. LETS GO

Chapter 1:https://welldamnshawn.tumblr.com/post/165861136790/chapter-1-youre-going-to-wish-wed-never-been

Chapter 2:https://welldamnshawn.tumblr.com/post/166035402061/chapter-2-why-did-you-come-here-shawn-mendes

Chapter 3:https://welldamnshawn.tumblr.com/post/166104883601/chapter-3-ill-take-my-chances-shawn-mendes

Chapter 4:https://welldamnshawn.tumblr.com/post/166172386006/chapter-4-i-want-you-to-want-me-because-im-me

Chapter 5: https://welldamnshawn.tumblr.com/post/166248497496/chapter-5-were-a-perfect-match-shawn-mendes

Chapter 6: https://welldamnshawn.tumblr.com/post/166317428186/chapter-6-how-could-i-have-done-this-to-my

Chapter 7: https://welldamnshawn.tumblr.com/post/166496245691/chapter-7-i-like-you-as-a-good-girl-shawn

Chapter 8: https://welldamnshawn.tumblr.com/post/166865465451/chapter-8-i-want-us-to-be-soulmates-shawn

Chapter 9: https://welldamnshawn.tumblr.com/post/166897905431/chapter-9-i-just-shot-someone-shawn-mendes

Recap: My hands shake while I ring the cops, telling the voice on the other line what they need to know. She tells me there is help five minutes away. I don’t reply. All I can see is the moment I pulled the trigger and Jeremy falling to the ground.The phone drops to floor and so do I, curling my knees to my chest I stay there, tears trailing down my face.“I just shot someone.”

They sat me on the bed, Shawn passing me a water bottle which I griped in my still shaky hands. I look down at the plastic, peeling a part of the label away to distract my self from my thoughts. 

My thoughts that included seeing Jeremy fall to floor- blood staining his shirt playing on repeat. The gun ringing out and hearing Tommy’s surprised shout, it all blended together.

No one thought I would follow through and pull the trigger. I didn’t think I would do it either. The police came, tall officers dressed in navy blue who looked down at me with sympathetic glances. The female pulled me up off the ground and led me into the room Shawn and I had fell asleep in. 

Shawn and the two other officers followed shortly behind her and all stared at me, almost like they expected me to have a breakdown. I didn’t. I sat there quietly, tugging off the label, refusing to say a word to anyone.

“I’ve called your parents. They’re going to drive down and pick you up.” A male police officer tells me, crossing his arms over his chest. I look blankly at him. He coughs awkwardly.

“Can I have some time alone with my soulmate.” Shawn poses the question but it sounds like he’s telling them more than asking.

“We need to question her about today’s events, I’m sorry sir but since you’re both witnesses..” the man trails off and Shawn sends them a heated glare.

“She doesn’t have to say anything without a lawyer and frankly that’s exactly what she’s going to do.”

Their eyes meet and its a stare off.

“Jeremy had tied Shawn up, two guys had him on the floor and he couldn’t get away. I was under the bed, where Shawn told me to hide, but then I heard a gun shot. Worried about my match I went to see if he was okay but it was just a lure to get me to show my face.” The cops look at me intently, nodding for me to continue.

“Jeremy is the leader of the libertas gang on the south side and he had originally told Shawn to kill his match because that’s what libertas members do but Shawn refused. Jeremy said he would finish the job off for him and held the gun to my head. 

Shawn kicked one of the guys holding him and while Jeremy was distracted I grabbed the mug of the coffee table and smashed it on his head, he dropped the gun and I picked it up, pointing it back at him.” My words are toneless as I recite the story.

“Shawn had taken down the two guys so I said to Shawn to come to me, he did. I told Tommy and Jeremy to freeze and not to move or I would shoot. Jeremy lunged at me and my instinct took over and I shot him.”

The female officer nods. “It seems like it was more an act out of self defense but unfortunately,” She pales and pauses, her gaze flicking to Shawn who glowers at her. “If he dies, the family may take you to court.”

“You’ve heard her story, I want to be alone with her. Now.” Shawn orders and the female officer nods her head to her partners and they walk out, shutting the door behind them.

Shawn doesn’t say anything. He stands near the door, seeming to not know whether to approach me or to speak from where he stands.

“I told you not to leave the room.” Shawn says quietly. I sigh, leaning over to put the water bottle onto the bedside table. 

“I heard a gun Shawn, I thought you were shot.” 

He scoffs. “Jeremy would never have shot me.”

“But he would tie you up and threaten to shoot your match.”

My sentence creates another silence, strengthening the gap I can feel growing between Shawn and I. 

“I wouldn’t have let him shoot you.”

I don’t meet his eyes. I can’t. I don’t want to see the sympathy that is more likely going to be there. I might have killed someone and all I wanted to do was forget today ever happened.

“You did a good job of making sure that didn’t happen.”

His anger is quick to lash out and he storms over to me, raising my chin with his left hand so my eyes catch his.

“I was fucking tied up. I honest to God did not think that you would coming running out at one gun shot.”

“You obviously don’t know me very well then.” I snipe at him. He leans forward until his face is inches from mine.

“I know you well enough to know you don’t act rationally.”

“I thought they killed you!” I growl at him, glaring heatedly at him, my heart thumping as my fury grows. “I needed to know you were okay, damn the consequences.”

“You should have stayed where it was safe!” He lets go of me, recoiling away.

“I needed to know you were safe.”

“They could have killed you Y/n!” His voice breaks and I stare at him, watching as the anger dissolves into fear; fear for me. “They could have killed you and there would have been nothing I could have done except watch as your body would have fell to the ground just as Jeremy’s did.”

I wince at his words but he keeps talking.

“Seeing that... seeing you die would have been the worst moment of my life and I will do anything to not have to see that for as long as I can.” 

“You can’t stop the inevitable.” I murmur, and he takes a seat down next to me, his thigh brushing my own.

“Y/n.” I look at him. “When you shot him, I knew that things would change, they are changing.”

“Changing by me getting locked up behind bars.”

“Can you just listen to me? Please?” Shawn pleads and I fall silent, feeling slightly guilty.

“I would do anything to change our places right now. If Jeremy does pass away, it’s going to be hard, I don’t know how you’re going to react and that scares me- not knowing how to help you.”

I reach out, grabbing his hand and entwining our fingers.

“I just... I want to take all of your pain away, I want to take all the bad things I’ve brought into your life and just erase them permanently.”

“You can’t think like that Shawn.” I tell him softly. “There’s always going to be pain and awful things happening but we have to learn to move past them and move forward.” 

“When my Mum was alive-” His voice crackles when he says this, and I know he’s close to tears at the mention of his mother. I squeeze his hand gently. “She used to tell me, when you find your match, I hope she never goes though the pain that my father put her through.”

“Shawn.” I let go of his hand, instead wrapping my arm over his shoulders and pulling him into me until his head is resting against mine. He puts his hand just above my knee, the warmth heating my skin.

“I feel like I’ve failed you. My match who’s perfect for me and all I’ve done is tarnish her and forced her to shoot someone.”

“I did that to protect us. It was self defense.” I say bravely, yet we both know it could so easily get twisted into something more.

“If you want to never see me again, tell me now and I swear I’ll leave.” 

“Don’t be an idiot.” 

He chuckles, turning his head to kiss my temple.

“If you leave that would probably be my undoing. I need you now more than ever.”

“Even though I’ve been a shit soulmate?”

“Even though you’ve been a shit soulmate.” I grin and his shoulders shake gently as he laughs.

“We’re a match, a team and no matter what happens, we need to stick together.” He squeezes my thigh. 

“You could say...” I look at him cheekily. “We’re partners in crime.”

At least we could be shit soulmates together.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 07/11/2020 (Ariana Grande, Bring Me the Horizon)

You know, it’s odd how that despite two pretty massive albums dropping, both having an impact on the chart, we actually have less debuts than the scattered mess of singles from last week, thanks to silly UK Singles Chart rules. Regardless, this week’s #1 is still “positions” by Ariana Grande and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The biggest drop off the chart this week is undoubtedly the #1 hit “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi, exiting the UK Top 75 after a run lasting 50 weeks. Nothing really compares to the weight of that drop-out but I guess we do have “GREECE” by DJ Khaled featuring Drake, “Heather” by Conan Grey. “Bando Diaries” by Dutchavelli, “Heart of Glass” by Miley Cyrus, “forget me too” by Machine Gun Kelly featuring Halsey and “Hold” by Chunkz and Young Filly, only lasting a measly two weeks but still peaking high. There is actually a theme to our returning entries as all of these are spooky scary Halloween-themed tracks. The classic “Thriller” by the ever-controversial King of Pop Michael Jackson is back at #57, “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker, Jr. Is back at #54 – this is my personal favourite of the bunch, mostly thanks to Neil Cicierega – and even “Monster Mash” by Bobby Boris Pickett is back at #50. Oh, and “5AM” by M Huncho and Nafe Smallz is back at #66 but that’s just scarily bad. The biggest fall this week was for “Cool with Me” by Dutchavelli and M1llionz down to #64 whilst the biggest gain was unfortunately for “Whoopty” by CJ at #48. Honestly, what’s the appeal here? Sigh, at least we have some really interesting hijinks this week, pretty fitting for a week that saw the messiest US election in history, and I won’t write this in order so you won’t see what I’m leading up to until a while after you read this part but there is some incredible stuff here. You know what’s not incredible?

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “Too Many Nights” – 220 KID and JC Stewart

Produced by 220 KID, Joe Janiak and Mark Ralph

I started off this episode by writing about the Bring Me the Horizon songs first. Not only is the album good and I had recently listened to it, but I had a lot more to say about the tracks, obviously since it’s not something you see on the charts every day and there’s a lot more to discuss in these tracks. Hence, after writing nearly 2,000 words on the metalcore boys alone, I have a question: do I really need to cover this emotionless tropical house-pop crap manufactured by labels and DJs who rarely find any interesting instrumentation, songwriting ideas or even samples to cover up their complete lack of innovation and at times even talent, for a quick buck and stupid amounts of unwarranted chart success? I don’t want to say I’m angry and I don’t want to seem pretentious but music is art. Art is, as a result of the society that produces it, a product, but even #1 hits and major-label records are still pieces of art. They can be analysed, appreciated and listened to with a lot of thought and detail. I cannot see that in “Too Many Nights” by 220 KID and JC Stewart. To me, this is purely a product. I’m taking this way too seriously but this really exemplifies what people hate about pop music in three minutes and eight seconds of cheap plastic dance music. Next.

#67 – “Ginger” – Wizkid featuring Burna Boy

Produced by P2J

Wizkid and Burna Boy are both highly acclaimed Nigerian singers and given everything that’s happening here recently, it’s no surprise Wizkid released an album that I would think touches on these issues, Made in Lagos, which is a name I can infer means he will explore Nigerian identity and what it means to be from Lagos and make it big in music. Wizkid is one of the big stars and pioneers of modern African pop music and whilst I should be interested in the album, I haven’t had the time to give it a spin yet so I’ll take this first impression from the track with Burna Boy. This is a pretty sweet tropical tune with an infectious hook referencing the traditional West African dish of jollof rice, and whilst the language barrier does prevent me from fully understanding the song, I can gather that this is a mix of a hook-up jam and typical rap stuff, with him flexing how he lives nice and if people want smoke, he’s got smoke, and a lot about this woman gyrating on him. Seriously, that’s the whole first verse, which only arrives after a really awkward pause. The second verse is kind of awkward here and Wizkid’s voice and flow have never done much for me, especially here where both he and Burna Boy sound checked-out. Burna Boy’s contributions are pretty much relegated to half of the chorus and an outro that quickly fades away and soon enough, this really slow, kind of uninteresting song has already finished. I’m not personally a fan of this but I am still interested in that album – I like the song with Skepta even if it does sound very much like “Ginger”, just with a stronger guest. Now onto the big story, or at least my big story, on the chart.

#55 – “1x1” – Bring Me the Horizon featuring Nova Twins

Produced by Jordan Smith and Oliver Sykes

I never read Kerrang! magazine, mostly because I’m not a loser [citation needed]. I understand that they originated in the 1980s as a metal-focused magazine but I wasn’t there for that. I was there for the Kerrang! TV era of pop-punk whining, scene-core screaming, nu-metal grunting, emo crooning and the Bloodhound Gang for some reason. Listening to this new Bring Me the Horizon album, titled Post Human: Survival Horror, took me back to that place. That feeling of classic Metallica followed by less classic Foo Fighters followed by the absolutely not classic Medina Lake (some of their stuff still slaps, however derivative) – oh, yeah, and like 10 minutes of adverts after six minutes of music. That feeling of All Time Low and You Me at Six playing back to back and being completely incapable of telling the difference between the two. “If we ain’t got that then we ain’t got much and we ain’t got nothing.” They were simpler times. I may be mashing up eras here but it still stands. Hell, the BABYMETAL tracks even took me back to the “Flashing Lights” disclaimers of all things. Rest in peace to Scuzz by the way, and, yes, I said BABYMETAL, we’ll get to that in a bit. So, yeah, I really liked that throwback to turn-of-the-millennium mallcore, but it does keep itself fresh and interesting enough throughout, especially with Sykes’ unique delivery and topical albeit ham-fisted edgy lyrics. You can say a lot about Bring Me the Horizon but at this point at least they definitely have pretty defining characteristics and a lot of likeability even if they do like to stick to a formula at times that makes it pretty obvious where their influences lie. That said, I do think the album becomes a slog by track seven, and it’s a lot duller than it probably should be for the final stretch. Unfortunately, this is track seven. I’m not familiar with the Nova Twins but they’re a punk-rap duo from London and honestly I am interested in checking out that debut album but I’m not really impressed by them or the metalcore boys – which is somehow a better band name than “Bring Me the Horizon” – on this track. Again, there is a formula to the metalcore boys’ banger tracks, and here it feels particularly stale and awkward, thanks to the loudness war that’s present in the album as a whole (Linkin Park’s influence shows up everywhere, even in the production) and the awkward trap elements shoved into the percussion of the first and second verses. I think Amy Love of Nova Twins obviously flows better on it than Oli Sykes who should have handed everything that’s not the chorus – one of the most cookie-cutter on the record – to the Twins, because he sounds pretty off here. There’s a lot less “epic edgy” lyrical content (I’m not sure if that’s a compliment) but that leads to kind of vague and disjointed ideas that don’t all line up to the core theme of the song, which is human guilt for the sins of man or some crap like that. Boys, when you interpolate four of your own songs AND Linkin Park, you’ve got to realise you’re re-treading some ground here. Not even the typical Bring Me the Horizon drop into the metal breakdown from an electronic bridge really feels like it’s worth it or climactic here, which is a shame but who needs the Nova Twins when the metalcore boys have a collaboration with another unique all-female rock duo...?

#51 – “Kingslayer” – Bring Me the Horizon featuring BABYMETAL

Produced by Jordan Fish and Oliver Sykes

When I saw BABYMETAL on this tracklist, I was amused and kind of laughed it off. These guys do have some pretty bizarre collaborations – they have songs with Halsey and Grimes – but BABYMETAL? I remember them when they were half-awesome Japanese pop-metal band and half-complete and utter meme in the early 2010s, and I knew that they had continued being so, mostly because the last time I heard from them they were playable in Super Mario Maker. Seriously, look it up. Now when I saw BABYMETAL on the charts, nearing the top 50 no less, I was ecstatic and honestly shocked. Needless to say this is their first appearance on the chart and whilst metal bands in the 2000s like Slipknot and System of a Down had genuine hits, outside of, fittingly, Bring Me the Horizon, it’s unheard of, especially for a Japanese girl group who happen to have freaking shredders playing on stage behind them. I haven’t listened to a BABYMETAL album but I feel like I don’t need to because of how much they’ve made an impression through singles, videos and live performances. Judas Priest’s Rob Halford called BABYMETAL “the future of metal” and whilst I’m not into the metal scene, I’m half-inclined to both agree and add Bring Me the Horizon to that conversation. I’m just amazed there is a cyber-kawaii metal song on the charts. I’m honestly astonished. Oh, and it helps that the song is incredible. On the album there’s a short interlude that functions as an introduction but honestly the short, aggressive synth riff followed by an immediate crash into the metal groove and Sykes yelling his lungs out works better on its own to just shove you face-first into some insane music. I love how that opening yell is chopped up and digitally re-arranged in the background of the chaotic instrumentation. The cutesy and bleep-bloopy synths that are not new to Bring Me the Horizon’s repertoire are used to their full potential here and yes, it is complete sensory overload, but it’s also kawaii-cyber metal. I mean, what did you expect? It also thematically makes sense. The song is about Call of Duty but it’s also an ode to the people willing to stand up for what they believe in even if it’s illegal and even if it doesn’t abide by rules and regulations. The album is full of these songs that fully support a revolutionary attitude and a clear frustration with keeping up with the old guard for all these years. You can hear how fed up and sick and tired of the political hellscape Sykes is in his shifts between pitch-shifted whining not dissimilar to Blink-182 and gravelly yelling straight out of extreme metal, except unlike most extreme metal I’ve heard, this is actually mixed properly. This track and especially the opener, “Dear Diary”, have so much anarchic energy and that is what I love about the hardcore punk edge to a lot of the album, not necessarily as much sonically as that in content and lyrical themes, where Sykes presents his inner mental struggles and contextualises them on the world stage, making an album that tackles the pandemic, racism and corruption vaguely and with poetic wit without being shallow or impersonal. Most songs that relate to the social distancing will not use the depressive emotional bloodletting of “Teardrops”, the subtly ominous yet still anthemic choruses about lockdown in “Obey” (seriously, these guys can make even YUNGBLUD sound listenable) and even the slow, sour conflict with both Mother Nature and general isolation on the closing ballad that has a name way too long for me to recite, as much as I enjoy upping the word count on every episode. Sykes’ verse in “Kingslayer” discusses opposing points of political opposition and protest, on one hand wanting to express how sick people are of going through the capitalist machine only to be spat back out again but also asking him the condescending question of if he really wants to poke the governmental bear. On the pre-chorus, he voices those frustrations in profanity-laden motivation that is asking not just himself but the general public to wake up, not that they’re unaware of how unfair the system is but instead acting as a call to action. Su-Metal of BABYMETAL takes this ode in a different angle, seeing revolutionaries as idolised figures, so much so that the chorus works as a confession of love or just awe in how the “kingslayer” is destroying castles in the sky and will save “us” from the darkness and from the struggles that the corrupt elite forces onto the populace. In the verse Su-Metal juxtaposes the imagery in the hook of some kind of medieval warrior (“angel of the blade”) with the near-incomprehensible verse, which is half-sung in Japanese with a cry for help responded to in commanding English, which I see as a reaction from the authority that undermines these problems. They call the revolutionary “artificial” and “modified” in a condescending, mocking tone, as well as using so much digital jargon that the verse becomes practically meaningless, especially backed by the heavy, loud music that drowns some of the messaging about and very much intentionally. It also seems pretty intentional that this song sounds like a take on an anime opening, as all of this cyber-punk imagery and anti-authority lyrical content feels a lot sharper when coated in references and criticism of mass-media. Oh, and it also helps that the song rocks, Su-Metal’s melodies are beautifully placed against a frenetic, monotone bass note in her verse, and that final chorus is absolutely perfect. That rapid-fire addition to the chorus took me by surprise on first listen and just completes the song for me. The song ends with one last wake-up call from Sykes about the rabbit hole before his yell is manipulated, screwed and played with by the production, rendering his scream inhuman... and followed by the playful, childlike inflections of BABYMETAL. If we don’t at least try to change in this time, the generations after us will suffer from our mistakes and missed opportunities. Man, this song is a rollercoaster that starts with drum and bass rhythms and ends with Oli Sykes growling gratuitous profanities that get close to feeling like he’s insulting the listener – it’s really brutal – and I’m here for it all the way. There have been songs on REVIEWING THE CHARTS that I like and that I love and whilst I know this won’t stick around (it is still cyber-kawaii metal), this is undoubtedly the best song I think I’ve ever covered on this show and might as well just be one of the best songs I’ve heard this year and maybe ever. I adore this track, please, PLEASE check it out.

#46 – “Flooded” – M Huncho and Nafe Smallz

Produced by Sean Murdz

Okay, seriously for a second: who cares? There’s nothing interesting here. A synth-based soundscape with some cheap flute loops drowned out by trap percussion that doesn’t even drop in, it just awkwardly fades in – yes, even the 808s – and Auto-Tuned mumbling from a nasal-voiced child with an unbearable falsetto. What is the appeal? None of them sound interested, there are no bars of any interest or even a funny line, not even unintentionally. D-Block Europe make me laugh but this tragically awful duo make me bored to death. M Huncho has a cool mask he wears and I wish his gimmick was more than just that and you know, actually translated to the music, but he doesn’t sound intimidating or like a villain. He just sounds like some dude who decided to rap barely on the beat of badly-mixed type beat with bass mastering that should be pitied. He did have a fluke song that kind of slapped called “Pee Pee”, which just comes to show that the more ridiculous and stupid he gets, the more vaguely entertaining he is. So why is he this dull and lame?! The flow is either talking over a beat that refuses to stay still but never truly reaches any kind of climax or even build-up, or just trap-rap word association. “I flooded the chain, it’s like a lake, we runnin’ the game, you pressin’ the brakes.” There’s nothing here, absolutely nothing, and these two hacks cannot sell it. I’m just looking for some effort and even if something is effortless, at least have the charisma to make it sound like you give a damn because this is pretty inexcusable.

#35 – “Paradise” – MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy

Produced by MEDUZA

I’m tired and I feel like I’m almost at breaking point with these songs. What would usually be generic and uninteresting is sounding offensively bad to me right now and I’m not sure why. That doesn’t really matter all too much to me though as this show has never been an in-depth critical assessment... okay, well sometimes it becomes as such but these are usually just my first impressions of tracks that happen to debut that week on the UK Singles Chart and this can range from volatile frustration to immediate adoration to not giving a rat’s ass about a single one of the songs that debut, depending on how I feel that day. That said, this song is fine. I actually really like Kennedy’s delivery, even if his rougher edges are smoothened and cleaned up by the vocal production here, which is pretty reverb-drenched but does allow for Kennedy to actually release rather than editing the vocals to sound really tight and closed-in... except for that really weak, pathetic drop but I do like the lyrical content, fittingly about distanced relationships as England enters a second lockdown. There’s little to say here but it’s worth a listen.

#32 – “Four Notes – Paul’s Tune” – Paul Harvey, Daniel Whibley and BBC Philharmonic

Produced by ???

No production credits for this one for whatever reason. Anyway, I am tired to the point of just complete speechless confusion at why this charted, and especially so high, rather than having any intrigue in why, but I looked it up anyway. Paul Harvey is a man from Sussex with dementia who is able to improvise beautiful piano melodies with only four notes as a reference point, hence the name. This was recorded by his son Nick and posted onto Twitter, where it soon became viral. This composition was then arranged by Daniel Whibley and recorded by the BBC’s Philharmonic Orchestra to be released as a charity single with proceeds being split between the Alzheimer’s Society and Music for Dementia. This isn’t a song I can critique. The arrangement is really pretty and it was in the original video, with the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra only serving to make it sound grander and fitting for a single release. Dementia, Alzheimer’s and any kind of brain disorder are all really tragic and really depressing things to happen to anybody, especially to the people it tends to affect: the elderly. It’s sweet that this is a single and I like that it charted high so those organisations that can assist science in treating these disorders and give help to those with family members diagnosed with and suffering from brain disorders have more funding. The song sounds good, it’s mixed well and honestly it’s pretty gorgeous at times, and if this helps people, then it’s done its job, and I commend Harvey and his son, Daniel Whibley and the BBC for letting this happen. Now for something completely different.

#26 – “Deluded” – Tion Wayne featuring MIST

Produced by Steel Banglez and Chris Rich Beats

Steel Banglez, Tion Wayne and MIST? God, maybe we are returning to the new normal; this is a 2019 line-up. Tion Wayne is a character and a presence on the track always and MIST is quite the opposite, but that “So High” song with Fredo was pretty cool, I suppose. Tion Wayne has always been more of an entertaining presence than half this crop of drill rappers, even if his flow and bars suffer from it, but he’s always a lot more fun and he does have a couple punchlines that hit. This particular song uses that “mm-mm” flow that originated on his track “Keisha & Becky”, and both him and MIST sound really interested and enthused here, as they trade bars in the verses and support each other with ad-libs throughout. The two seem to actually have some chemistry and it’s not an unnatural collaboration. Even in Tion Wayne’s solo chorus, MIST is shouting behind him, and it overall makes the song really aggressive and punchy, even if some of the lyrics are just kind of uninteresting or even confusing, like the oddly-specific jab at an unnamed crack abuser, always referred to as “you” in the song. Is the listener a crack addict? Should I be scared? I’m not entirely sure, but this kind of slaps, especially the keys and vocal sample in the outro. It kind of reminds me of a harsher version of the #1 hit back from 2018, “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo, except these guys are legitimately menacing in the song and the bass-heavy drill beat never subtracts from that, not to say that “Funky Friday” is a bad song (far from it). It’s not about being able to convince me with lyrics, it’s about being able to sell what you say effectively and interestingly – not even uniquely, but just in a way that’s presentable and leads to genuinely good music. M Huncho and Nafe Smallz could take a couple hints from these guys.

#16 – “motive” – Ariana Grande and Doja Cat

Produced by TBHits, Joseph L’Etranger, Mr. Franks and Murda Beatz

Murda Beatz, huh? Well, I haven’t listened to Positions yet, mostly because I’ve been bumping Goddamn Bring Me the Horizon for the past week, but also because 14 tracks of the same song doesn’t necessarily interest me. For the sake of the show I probably should check the album out – it’s not that long – but don’t expect me to have that a positive opinion on it. I said my peace on Grande last week and given the singles I seriously doubt this album will erase my continuous issues with her projects. I’ve always felt that despite her unbelievable talent, she is also unbelievably disinterested and detached from her own music to the point where whatever artistic contributions and creativity she and her team had is completely washed out by the questionable production, weak-sauce trap beats and misguided song ideas (I still roll my eyes on “7 rings” and “sweetener”). From what I’ve heard from this new album, it has a lot more classic R&B keys and strings undercut by trap skitters and modern vocal production, and this is pretty clear in “motive”, a funky house-inspired dance-pop tune that feels miles less robotic and factory-made than most house on the charts, instead going for an organic fast-paced groove and mildly annoying vocal samples. The trap breakdown in the pre-chorus is what gives Murda Beatz the right to put his producer tag at the start of the song, which is honestly just funny. I do like the verses but the chorus doesn’t hit in quite the same way it should, possibly that pre-chorus is just garbage and it doesn’t build to an effective crescendo for the chorus to build up on off of whispery murmuring. Oh, and Doja Cat is here, which took me by surprise when she started lazily rapping since Ari actually sounded like her in the second verse. In fact, this is a Doja Cat song in all but lead artist credit and honestly, the song kind of suffers because of it. This is decent, I suppose, but a collaboration that doesn’t favour either artist.

#9 – “34+35” – Ariana Grande

Produced by ProdByXavi, Mr. Franks, Peter Lee Johnson and TBHits

Ariana Grande’s albums have disproportionate producer credit to producer effort ratio. At least there’s not a M-M-M-Murda on this one. The song title is stupid but this was pushed to radio so I guess it has to be family-friendly PG clean to some degree. It is interesting how it goes for the absurdity of being dirty over Disney-like orchestral blossoms and pretty nice-sounding strings, but it doesn’t go far enough other than the chorus. It’s missing a good, effective, funny opening line, and I feel that the verses are pretty lacking. The pre-chorus is almost cringeworthy and just going into bizarre levels of horny on main but that is very much the point of the whole thing. “You know I keep it squeaky”? I find it almost difficult to take this song as anything more than a joke, but she does have some pretty commanding tones when she asks him to “just give me them babies” and the snarky laugh in the intro combined with pretty slick albeit absolutely stupid punchlines that go from so bad it’s good territory to just unabashedly ridiculous and embracing itself as such. I love the falsetto in the chorus even if it is just building up to that stupid title that is nowhere near as clever as Ari thinks it is. By the way, she completely delivers here and it’s a pretty damn great performance from her, one of her most enthusiastic on record, even with her now typical “yuh”s spread throughout. Hell, the rap verse actually works this time mostly because her charisma actually comes through and the trap skitter has some energy this time, unlike “7 rings”. I don’t get the end where she says she was never good at maths, though, because “34 + 35 = 69” is a pretty solid and correct albeit obviously simple calculation. You got the answer, give it a tick in a different colour pen.

Got the neighbours yellin’, “Earthquake!” / 4.5 when I make the bed shake

There’s a song in the top 10 that uses the moment magnitude scale as a sex metaphor. 2020, everyone.

Conclusion

Let’s cut to the chase: Best of the Week goes to Bring Me the Horizon and BABYMETAL for “Kingslayer”, which should have been obvious. I’m so glad I expanded beyond the top 40 on this show. It means I can talk about songs like that in depth. Honourable Mention might actually go to Ariana Grande’s “34+35” on plain fun alone, although the similarly numeric “1x1” did get close. The Worst of the Week is really a toss-up because there was a lot of disposable filler between the good and interesting stuff this week had to offer. I’ll probably go with “Flooded” by M Huncho and Nafe Smallz, with a Dishonourable Mention to “Too Many Nights” by 220 KID and JC Stewart. Both are just impressively lacking in effort or any appeal I can search for, but knowing my luck, they’ll both be “Old Town Road”-level big. Here’s our top 10:

Thanks for reading this! You can follow me @cactusinthebank on Twitter and I need some sleep. See you next week!

[nickfanemusic]

Ranking the Rush Albums Pt. 3 (#10-#6)

10. Snakes and Arrows (2007)

This was the first album (of 2) that Rush put out that I purchased when it actually came out instead of years, usually decades, after the fact. My first reactions to it were fairly lukewarm, and that I felt it had some good songs while others were real sleepers. Upon revisiting it recently, though, my attitude has warmed up to it significantly. The band is balancing their heavier, more modern sound with more dynamic arrangements, featuring a lot of acoustic guitar and spacey synth sounds to create some interesting textures. Lyrically, Peart is exploring current events in a direct way, as there are many references throughout the album to the chaotic state of the world that the Bush years had helped instigate. In fact, one of the compelling elements of this album to me upon re-listening is how the lyrics help the listener track Peart’s ideology over time. A self described “bleeding heart Libertarian”, may of Rush’s early songs are inspired by his reading of Ayn Rand, such as Fly By Night’s “Anthem” and one of Rush’s most well-regarded works, “2112″, which is actually dedicated to “The Genius of Ayn Rand” as I was boldly reminded of upon receiving the album on vinyl as a gift recently.  I have my problems with this because I think Ayn Rand was misguided at best and a malicious agent of chaos at worst, but that’s beside the point. Snakes and Arrows shows Peart reflecting on some of these notions in his lyrics, such as the prechorus of “Far Cry”: “It’s a far cry from the world we thought we’d inherit; it’s a far cry from the way we thought we’d share it” seems to be an acknowledgement of the unfairness of our current situation. “A Larger Bowl” is another example. Written as a Pantoum, a style of verse that originates in Malaysia, the lyric begins with the potent question, “If we’re so much the same like I always hear, why such different fortunes and fate?” This isn’t me saying that this is evidence that Peart has changed his ideology or anything, but much like how Kurt Vonnegut poses ideological questions in his works but also has viable counter-arguments represented by other characters, Peart has never been one to propagandize in his lyrics. Overall, this one is a fun listen from start to finish mainly due to the variety of sonic avenues they travel down throughout its runtime; from the hard edge of “Far Cry” and “Armor and Sword” to the softer tracks like “Hope”, it’s a roller coaster and a damn good one.

9. Grace Under Pressure (1984)

Grace Under Pressure is sort of a curious exhibit  in the band’s catalogue, and contains what I would describe as “growing pains” in their expansion to a more synth-based and textured sound. Alex Lifeson often sounds like he doesn’t know what to do, and the synth textures aren’t as mature as on later albums. When it comes to their 80’s releases, though, I regard Grace Under Pressure very highly. There are some real burners on this album, from the opening cut “Distant Early Warning” to the driving “Afterimage” and the dark and industrial sounding “Red Sector A”. “The Enemy Within” actually has one of my favorite verse riffs in the Rush catalogue, and the album does a compelling job meshing darker themes with a new found funkiness. The B side isn’t as strong (the aforementioned songs make up the entire A side) but I would say there’s no sore thumbs across the album’s runtime. This is Rush’s first album in years without Terry Brown as producer, and as such I would say this is the album that marks the end of their classic period. Nonetheless, this one still makes for a great listen now.

8. Signals (1982)

The last album with Terry Brown as producer and the last in Rush’s classic era of releases, Signals is a fan favorite. Most known for the opening song (always with the opening songs being top tier!) “Subdivisions”, which is a bonafide classic and stands among Rush’s best songs, the album has plenty of synth to go around without drowning out the guitar or bass too much, as happens on some later albums. The song “New World Man” is also Rush’s highest-charting song in their career, peaking at #21 on the Billboard Hot 100. That song never really did it for me, but other songs on the album certainly do! “The Analog Kid” is an excellent song throughout, and the guitar solo is particularly excellent. “Digital Man” is among my favorites by the band as well. A slightly weaker B-side is at play here, but this one is definitely worth your time.

7. Vapor Trails (2003)

Vapor Trails has a bumpy history. The original release of the album was a notable casualty in the “loudness wars”, which saw mixing and mastering practices sacrificing overall sound quality in favor of pure volume. This meant that the album actually had digital distortion in its final mix, which is an inexcusable situation for an album of this caliber. The poster child for this practice is Metallica’s Death Magnetic (produced by Rick Rubin, who one might call the Charlemagne of the Loudness War), which was especially notable for one reviewer who recommended illegally downloading the Rock Band versions of the tracks since they were more deftly mixed. Fortunately, Vapor Trails got a much deserved remaster in recent years which helps to showcase to the world what I’ve felt for years: Vapor Trails is a top-tier Rush album. The first album since Caress of Steel to not feature any synthesizer, the power trio rages through the 67-minute run time with a ferocity that the band hadn’t displayed quite so well in years. Recorded after a long hiatus due to personal tragedies in Neil Peart’s life, the renewed band comes out swinging with maybe their heaviest track ever, “One Little Victory”, and doesn’t let up from there. Plenty of head bangers are present, with songs like “Nocturne” and "Vapor Trail” providing a more dynamic arrangement. Both of those are highly recommended, as are “Earthshine, “Sweet Miracle”, “Secret Touch” and “Ceiling Unlimited”. I honestly recommend the whole album, best listened in the car on a road trip, which I have a hunch is how Peart, and avid motorcyclist and author (as detailed in another great cut from the album, “Ghost Rider”) likely came up with many of the lyrics for the album, or at least the seeds for them. Peart spent years in a perpetual road trip after the death of his daughter and wife. I’m very thankful for him being able to recover from those tragedies to go on to make more music, as it has been among the most impactful for me. Vapor Trails is a big part of that. Not the biggest though.

6. 2112 (1976)

I know, I know. This one is probably unexpectedly low on the list. This is the album that began Rush’s classic period of releases, and it’s quite excellent. The A-side is the now-iconic title track, a 22-minute opus about an individual in a future dystopia where the arts are banned or at least heavily centrally regulated by some sort of political/religious organization. Person finds a guitar, shows it to the people at the top, they lose their shit and destroy it, guy dies from crippling depression, nebulous voice declares to all planets of the Solar Federation that they’ve assumed control. As previously mentioned, the lyric is basically a Libertarian fever dream, but that’s not the reason why I rank this album lower than one might expect. Politics of the title cut aside, it is without question the highlight of the album. Listening to Caress of Steel’s misguided “Fountain of Lamneth”, which was on the album that they just recorded, followed immediately by the more coherent, more refined and ultimately outstanding “2112″ suite shows just what sort of creative leap they made in that short time. In fact, the album never should have existed: Rush’s international label at the time, Mercury, had stated that if Rush didn’t produce a more radio-friendly album, they would be dropped. In the face of that, they decided to stick with their guns and made something truly brilliant, solidifying their entire decades-long career in the process. That artistic confidence is on full display on the title track. The album ranks a bit lower because of its B-side. While the songs are pretty good overall, they simply don’t match the brilliance of the A-side, and while they’re not necessarily forgettable, their other albums have better songs to match their headier, longer works. “A Passage to Bangkok” and “Something For Nothing” are my favorites of the short songs.

Next up, we dig into the Top 5!

[theplaguezine]

CELTIC FROST

Interview with Tom G. Warrior by Daniel Hinds

(conducted November 1999)

Switzerland isn't a large country, but it has certainly produced some of the most singular musical entities, whether you point to the esoteric funk stylings of Yello, the psychedelic industrial ruminations of The Young Gods or the jazz-thrash technicality of Coroner.   One of the most influential (and my personal favorite) however was Celtic Frost.  In the mid 80s, the classic line-up of Tom G. Warrior (guitar, vocals), Martin Eric Ain (bass) and Reed St. Mark (drums) recorded one of metal's landmark albums, Into the Pandemonium.  The inclusion of everything from gothic moods and textures, female operatic vocals, and orchestral instrumentation, to a hip-hop song, a new wave cover tune and the band's already established brand of heavy metal made this album an incredible listening experience.  The rest of the band's catalog was certainly none too shabby either, with albums like Morbid Tales and To Mega Therion laying down some of the heaviest and most memorable grooves of all time.

Although the band constantly struggled with the business side of things and eventually went their separate ways in the early 90s, the Frost legacy is as strong as ever.  Bands as diverse as Emperor, My Dying Bride and Nirvana(!) have claimed influences from the Swiss outfit.  Sadly, the band's label didn't put much thought into the initial CD releases of their classic efforts, but Tom (now Thomas Fischer of the band Apollyon Sun) has taken the time to collect all the original art, lyrics, proper mixes and release remastered versions of the first three albums.  He also took some time to talk about the releases and reflect on the majesty that was (is…?) Celtic Frost.

Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to get all the albums re-released properly!  What prompted you to get involved and get this done?

It was the absolute dismal job that Noise did in the first place; the mutilation of our original artwork and the dropping of lyrics, the exchanging of photos and all that stuff that happened since the albums were originally on the market.  We could not stand that.

And are you pretty happy with the new versions? We are necessarily happy because the band was 100% involved with it.  Noise simply provided us with the resources to do it, but it was the band who put this together.

Out of all the Frost releases, what has been the biggest seller so far? I would say it was probably Into the Pandemonium.

Who was your favorite producer to work with?   It is definitely Roli Mosimann because he has a vision and is very unconventional, just like the band.  He's not afraid of taking risks, sometimes absurd risks, and this is all totally in the vein of Celtic Frost as band themselves.

What kind of risks do you mean? Well, to try out ideas that other people would say, 'They never sell,' or to try out ideas that are totally off-the-wall.  Risky stuff in that not every band does it and it is less than certain that it's going to work.  But for the benefit of creating new music, you still try it - you still have the integrity to stick behind it and you do it, even if it's maybe not a certain success.

Is there any more Frost or Hellhammer material in the vaults that might see the light of day someday? Well, as far as Hellhammer, I really don't care.  As for Frost, there are demos from Vanity/Nemesis and there are two demos from the last album that was never released.  I'm really not quite sure if that will ever be released or not - I don't know if we should release every little fart the band ever did. (laughs)  But, perhaps.  We've been talking about it loosely, who knows.

Any chance for a live video or a live album from one of the classic tours? No, there are no official live recordings.  We never wanted to do a live album - we really didn't like live recordings.  There are some mixing desk tapes that are in the possession of the band, but I don't think they are fit for release and everything else is just bootlegs.

Is there any live footage on video maybe? Again, it's just bootlegs.  We were going to do quite a big show in New York with an orchestra, where we would have played "Rex Irae (Requiem)" and some other tracks in classical arrangements, but that never came together.  That show was going to have been filmed and released as a home video, but it's one of many unreleased projects of the band.

Was that just a money-thing? No, it was connected to other things.  For business reasons, it just never came together and then later on, we had other plans and so on.  It's a shame, though, because we really wanted to do that.

Do you have one particular frost show that really stands out as being a particularly memorable show? Definitely when we played the Beacon Theater in New York City at the end of 1987, that was an outrageous show, just from the crowd reaction.  One of the most memorable shows was the Halloween show at the Hammersmith Odeon in London, after Pandemonium.  That must have been one of the peak shows the band ever played.

Any contact with H.R. Giger since his involvement on To Mega Therion? No, we actually haven't.  Just recently, though, he gave an interview to a German music paper where they asked him about Frost and he had very kind words about us.  I will probably provide him with copies of the re-issues, though.

How did you come across the artist Les Edwards for the inner sleeve of Into the Pandemonium? The first time I saw his work was in a book of fantasy paintings.  I had this period in the mid-80s where I was interested in fantasy for a while and I had this book of really great fantasy paintings, but out of all of them, Les Edwards' work stuck out because it was more serious than the other ones.  It had more depth to it.  So, we were very eager to secure his work for our album because we knew we needed an inside sleeve.

When you finally found Ron Marks to join as a second guitarist, it seemed like you had been searching for a long time. How long had you been looking for someone? For perhaps one-and-a-half or two years, for a very long time.  It was just very difficult for us to find the perfect person.  We knew we could find somebody competent, but we didn't want just a hired gun - we wanted somebody who was original and who was as obsessed as we were, so we took a long time.  That's why we found Ron Marks very late in our career.  He had actually been to a show of ours in '86, but he didn't know we were looking for a guitar-player and we didn't know he was there. (laughs)

How did you actually hook up with him finally? Well, we had an ad all over America because we had such a great experience with Reed.  Ron Marks was a Celtic Frost fan and he put together an amazing tape and sent it to our management.  It was literally the last tape we received, but our manager called us into the studio and he said, 'We found the guy!  He's exactly the guy you want.'

How did you develop the singing style that you used on songs like "Mesmerized" and "Sorrows of the Moon"?  The first time I listened to that album (Into the Pandemonium), I thought you were sharing vocal duties with someone else! It's a bit complex to explain that.  On the first U.S. tour in '86, Reed and me were very disappointed by the hardcore faction in our audience, the people who came just for the most primitive elements in our music.  These fans were so violent, they started riots and fights in the audience, they came on-stage and destroyed part of the equipment, they made it almost impossible for the other fans to enjoy the show.  So the band made a conscious decision to alter our musical output.  We wanted to make it more accessible, we wanted to make it more melodic, in order to separate ourselves from that hardcore element.  And a very important part of that was to find a different vocal style, but since I didn't have any formal training, we resorted to experiments.  We were trying to determine what else there was in vocal styles that would match with our music, and these experiments are very reflected on Pandemonium.

Where did you get the title for Cold Lake? Well, it's very much a manifestation of our frame of mind at that time, meaning our extreme frustration with the recording industry.  After fighting for fourteen months in the most radical and extreme way possible against the record company, and them fighting us the same way, just because of Pandemonium, and the resulting destruction of the line-up of Pandemonium and the financial problems and the canceled video clips and everything…  We were just in a totally distraught frame of mind at that time and I think the title reflects that.

I'm wondering who some of your influences were in the earlier days that led to the more experimental tracks like "Danse Macabre" and "Tears in a Prophet's Dream." It was simply an attempt of painting a picture without the visual aid, like a movie without the pictures or a theater play without the actors - we just delivered a soundtrack that gives you a picture.

Did you ever think about doing a whole album along those lines? No, actually the second track "Tears in a Prophet's Dream" went almost too far for us.  We kind of had exhausted that concept and we were already starving for new stuff.

Are you surprised by the enduring influence and interest in Celtic Frost? Very much so.  It is something that we hoped for, though maybe not on that scale.  We always hoped the band wouldn't be forgotten when we would finally dissolve.  We always knew it was unavoidable that the band would end prematurely, but we always hoped that at least some elements of our music would stick around.  What has happened since then has totally surpassed any of our hopes or expectations.  It's unbelievable and we are extremely humbled by it.

What do you make of the scenes that have been clearly influenced by Frost, such as the black metal and death metal scenes? I don't care for the black metal scene, that has nothing to do with Celtic Frost.  We took a clear stance from the very first day against black metal and we really don't understand what black metal bands say when they claim they were influenced by us.  We feel that is very absurd.  We feel you have some responsibility when you are a musician and you release lyrics and stuff to an audience that is largely in their puberty and that is why already on Morbid Tales we took a strict stance against Satanism and everything.  So, this is really none of our concern and we don't associate with that.  The other bands that are claiming to be influenced by us…at times it is interesting and at times it's frustrating.  Some of those bands simply copy us and that's not really an influence.  Celtic Frost was all about innovation and trying new things and, to me, a band is satisfying when they do the same thing, when they try to explore new things.

Do you feel like the Celtic Frost story is still unfinished? At first, I felt so, but by now, I think it had to end like this.  On the other hand, we are all very close friends, we see each other as often as possible and because of that, we of course often talk about playing music together.  By now, within a year or two, it seems that it might actually happen, that we are going to do something else.  So perhaps, the last chapter hasn't been written yet, or perhaps there are several chapters - nobody knows right now.  I'm pretty undecided right now.  I think we could still do something, but it has to be modern and it has to be contemporary, otherwise we won't do it.

It seems like every release has been so radically different from the previous ones that, if you made a new album that wasn't innovative and different, it wouldn't be Celtic Frost. It would destroy the reputation of the band and we don't want to do that.  You're totally right, though.  The new album would have to be like Frost, it would have to be dark and heavy, but it would have to be radically different at the same time.

What are your immediate plans for Apollyon Sun? Well, we finished the full-length album three weeks ago, and now we're determining what label it's going to be on.  The release date is set for February or March of next year.  It's a very dark album.  It's a very modern album, but also dark and as experimental at times as Celtic Frost, so I'm very excited about it.  So that is the immediate plan - to get this album out on the market and to tour on the strength of it.

How does the album compare with the earlier EP? It is more integrated.  It's more of a true unit between modern instruments and traditional heavy instruments.  Even though we use drum loops and bass loops, we also use live drums and live bass, and we don't sample all the guitars, we have live guitars.  All of that makes it much much warmer than the material on the EP or just regular industrial material.  It is just a much more integrated mixture and this really the way we want to go.  We want to have a certain warmth and groove in our music.  We don't want to be somebody who presses a button and has a cool computer playing.

Did you produce the album? We produced it with Roli Mosimann and did a number of remixes with other people, like John Fryer, and we did some of our own remixes, just to explore different avenues.  But most of the material is produced by Roli Mosimann again, who did Vanity/Nemesis for Frost.

Cool, he's an awesome producer. Yeah, I like him very much, too.  He's a close friend, too, even though it's not always that easy to work with him. (laughs)  But I guess the same goes for us. (laughs)

www.celticfrost.com

[tuckerfuckingdidit]

Agent Carolina? 💙

MY WIIIIFE. thank u for this. thank u. this meme’s gonna all be under cuts because omg. you can tell this is the only writing i’ll be doing today, because goddamn, do i ramble.

edit: it is now, in fact, the next day, fml. we are not going to talk about how long i spent rewriting portions of this post. we just aren’t.

How I feel about this character: *raptor screeching* carolina is my fave lady, period. i spent the whole show thinking tex was badass, but lina was the first character i loved. nope, not wash! that title is all hers. she’s the only character i’ve ever based an OC on intentionally because i was too chickenshit to actually write her. those days have since passed. mwahaha.

every time i watch it, i spend the entire freelancer arc rooting for her so hard. she is 100% the main character for me, the story is about her. that chase for the briefcase is one of the few things i’ve seen where every time i’m pulled 100% into it—like if she just pushes herself hard enough, she’ll win this time, even though i know she can’t. the fact that she gets so bitter and then comes out of it, and finds another family that she sticks by instead of keeping to her lone wolf act—like, the fact that she resolves to Be Better, period, is just. *flails* she’s such a personally inspiring character to me, and i am constantly floored by how much of herself she puts into everything she does.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: maine (thanks anne), wash, maine AND wash, kimball, south (!), york, 479er, wash and tucker. tucker could get it alone if she had a single doubt he wouldn’t brag about it for the rest of his fucking life. but since he has no chill, he gets none. she flirts though, but she was probably flirty with half the freelancers, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oh, and emily. don’t look at me. i like ships that get off to bad starts. haha. get off. bow chicka bow wow.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: her and epsilon!!! oh my god. i could literally read c-squared dialogue for the rest of my life. any time they appear in fic with Banter™ i am So Alive. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: once she’s no longer at 9000/10 stress levels 28 hours of the day, carolina is tactile. not cuddly, but tactile. it really grinds my gears that due to the nature of everyone always having a gun in their hand in halo, we rarely see characters make physical contact with each other in a friendly manner. people are either hitting/shooting each other, or standing seven feet apart. like, you’re telling me tucker isn’t the type of person to get in someone’s face when he’s yelling at them? the blocking is just… not good a lot of the time. 

carolina strikes me as a playful elbower, a shoulder clapper (sarge too), and, dare i say it, someone who knows how the hell a hug works. it would take her off guard at first, but physical action is not something carolina struggles with. it’s talking about her feelings where she hits a wall. so it’s not overt. she’s not handing out hugs—but she is participating in them once she gets over her shock.

subtle taps to get attention, teasing hip checks/shoulder bumps, turning people’s bodies to make them look at things, dragging them off places when they won’t hustle—that’s carolina to me. she’s very direct. especially aboard the moi before The Angst swallowed her life whole, omg! i can’t see her not making physical contact with her fam when they’re all lying around out of armor before Everything Is Terrible. i don’t think it’s a coincidence that when carolina finally comes out and says the reds and blues are her family (aka finds her place in the galaxy again), she comes out of her shell and starts touching people. i think she’s coming full circle, not reinventing herself.

i’ve also always thought it was fucked up that they wrote her not saying a word to the boys when they were fucking shipwrecked. like, if you’re going to retcon it, retcon it properly?? she also just doesn’t get anywhere near enough on-screen relationship development with the reds and blues before the F-bomb gets dropped—as in “family”, not “fuck”. carolina’s relationships are the department she gets shafted in every time, because the writers only want to put her down when it’s time for her to kick ass. part of this is because the episodes are so short. #rip

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i wish we’d been able to see her turn on her father. she sides with him, the meta throws her off the cliff—and then she’s just gone. she just told her father “i would do anything for you”!!!! half of the freelancers have kicked up a mutiny; her father is not a soldier. i would have really liked to see carolina go back to her father to try and protect him from what was ostensibly a huge threat, demand answers, search for them herself when she wasn’t given any, and then leave when she knew her father had totally fucked up. carolina as the original recovery one while wash was recovering unfit for duty would have been awesome.

my OTP: fuck. fuck. i feel like i can’t adequately weigh in on this until i have read mainealina, but it also really fucks me up to stan a ship where half of the people involved are dead. like, both dead? okay, whatever. person A having to live knowing they can never bring person B back is an instant moodkiller for me.  that’s too depressing, so i’m voting quasiplatonic carwash. i started to say kimbalina, but [spoilers for season 15] the team leaving chorus after church’s ~death makes me too sad to think about the girls ending their relationship on that note, omg. at first i really didn’t like the idea of the reds and blues leaving, but when you think about the season 13 finale, blue team is going to be pretty fucking demoralized, and retirement elsewhere means no more fewer Blue Team Problems for red team. i suddenly have a much easier time seeing them leaving. [/end spoilers for season 15] no kimball/carolina interaction doesn’t alarm me the same way carwash being split up does.

my cross over ship: not necessarily shippy (see next point), but i think she and john-117/the master chief would’ve been a sight. to. see. (epsilon and cortana tho. omg.) 

a headcanon fact: i couldn’t pick between two, so have both. she’s blonde, looks a fuck ton like her mother, and dyed her hair when she enlisted as an announcement to the world that she was going to be her own person, not a younger allison. 

potentially more controversial: i read carolina as aromantic, toward the “idem” end of the scale. she loves her friends hard, would die for them, but she wouldn’t know for sure whether she has Romantic Feelings for someone if said feelings bit her in the ass. she’s worried that exact thing happened with york and she didn’t notice, but she just. has no clue whatsoever. sexual encounters with friends? cool beans. realizing one of those friends is rOmANtCiALLY aTtRaCTEd tO hEr? then she starts to put pressure on herself that does nothing but stress her out over how to categorize things, how to label her feelings, if things should continue, etc. it’s a mess.

[handsomepeacock]

Since a FNAF song just came on and once again reminded my of my FNAF au I can tell you guys how it is roughly supposed to go down

Holy shit, this is under a read more because I didn’t know it would get this long

John starts up a business and it is insanely successful and lively, people love how the place almost seems magical.

He has a daughter named Angel and she grows up experiencing the magic of the place and has always wanted to perform on stage.

John inspires a young kid by the name of Rhys to want to grow up and be like him.

Angel gets sick and there is no cure for it.

John commissions Shade and Nakayama to make him two animatronics. One based off of his daughter and one based off of himself.

Angel dies and John does not handle her death well, in fact he tries to put her body in the animatronic in hopes her spirit will stick with it. He doesn’t know if it works or not and shuts himself away.

John spots someone that looks like his daughter and he once again thinks that maybe he can trap the spirit in the bot and kills the look-a-like and stuffs the body in the animatronic but doesn’t move it, thinking that maybe it will take time.

Tim happens to swing by his house having known the owner for a long time and sees a gruesome scene, he gets knocked out by John and now he thinks he killed Tim but then gets the idea to put him in the animatronic that was made for him.

He makes Tim’s body fit in the animatronic by cutting it up and at one point the other wakes up to him cutting away and he screams but and struggles but John stabs him a bunch to kill him, tells him he is sorry but continues what he was doing. Telling the corpse he’ll feel better when he’s in a new body, one that won’t get sick and you can’t stab to death.

He thinks he is doing the right thing, he can preserve his friend’s lives if he puts them all in their own animatronic bodies.

He commissions Shade and Nakayama to make more another one for himself, Nisha, Moxxi, and Wilhelm 

He takes Wilhelm by surprise, he wouldn’t have been able to take the man if he knew what was coming.

Moxxi manages to break his arm but John manages to kill her. She is forced to leave behind her two children, Scooter and Ellie, they’re told that their mother ran off.

Nisha knows what is coming and she takes it with a grin on her face and a bloody fight where she leaves a scar on John’s face.

Nakayama has had a growing crush on John and even though he finds out what is going on he says nothing about it. Does nothing accept agree to do what the other wants.

John thinks Angel would like to have friends more her age.

He commissions three more animatronics to be made

He finds people he thinks Angel would like to be friends with

Lilith, Maya, Steele

He calls them a little group of sirens and puts them in a ‘secret’ location so they can perform together whenever they want. Anything for his little girl.

John comes to look at the animatronic that was made for him, it looks good but different from the first one he ever had made for him. This one looks colder, crueler somehow and before he can ask anyone about it Nakayama kills him and puts him in the suit, thinking that this is what he wants but he finds out too late that this isn’t what John wants as he vows he’ll be back to kill him.

Nakayama is able to frame Shade into being the one that committed the murders, saying something about how he was obsessed with making his animatronics more life-like. It somehow works and Shade is taken away. Nakayama uses the funds he gets from their business to buy up the Pizzeria to run it for John.

The old animatronics fall into such disrepair he brings out Wilhelm, Nisha, Moxxi and Tim (he doesn’t know where Angel, Lilith, Maya, or Steele are being kept at)

He puts John in a display case, too terrified to activate him. Renames him Jack

Scooter sees his mom one day in the Pizzeria, finds out she’s an animatronic now and breaks in at night to get her home but now Scooter is breaking the rules and she grips him tight, to take him to the back where the rule breakers go to be reprogrammed and placed in a suit. He begs her to stop and that she’s hurting him. Suddenly she stops and stares down at him, this is her son, she was about to kill him. Moxxi lets go of Scooter and tells him in a soft voice he has to leave.

Nisha happens to spot the action and comes out to confront Moxxi about it. They fight while Scooter slips away.

The Pizzeria is no longer a magical place, there is always a feeling of dread and it doesn’t get taken care of. Eventually Nakayama activates Jack to see if he is still angry at him. The man gets killed instantly as Jack crushes his throat and throws him down the stairs.

The place gets bought by a group of investors that are hoping they can make it back to how it used to be because of how much money they place had made. They use the parts from the old animatronics to make friendlier versions of them. Jack is left alone because of the craftsmanship that went into making him, they keep him on display.

Roland is now older and gets a job hoping to get every bit of information he can out of the place about his friends disappearance.

Jack absolutely hates what his business has turned into and his anger causes his spirit to reach out and mess with the “toy” animatronics so they start malfunctioning, it eventually leads to someone getting bitten and the place gets shutdown and moved back to the original location, the old animatronics put back in use. Jack is happier now and doesn’t act up again.

Roland moves with the business and gets further in his investigation, leaving his findings in the vent in his security office, recording things he has found and putting the tapes with his findings. Eventually he is lead to the Jack animatronic, he has never once seen the thing move but something is off about it and he starts poking around it, the other animatronics starts going off, he can hear their voice lines playing all around him and he thinks it is time to go, he isn’t wrong but he accidentally switches on Jack.

He runs off to see if he can get out but the exits are blocked and the only place he can go is the security office and lock the doors. He’s doomed, he knows it. He makes one final recording while he is listening to the animatronics bang on the doors. The last thing he hears as they slowly slide open is the ominous playing of a music box. The message cuts out and the recorder is dropped on the ground and kicked to the far corner, hidden from view.

No one knows what happened to the last security guard but they can’t afford to hire a new one the only thing left to do would be to close to doors one final time.

Rhys comes back with Vaughn and buys the place, still remembering how it used to be and wants it that way again. Vaughn is skeptical about this idea but told Rhys he would back him up on what he wanted to do and so they purchase the business. There’s a lot of work to do to restore it to its former glory.

Rhys stares at the Jack animatronic one day and notes how real it looks and is just waiting for it to move. Vaughn comes in and scares the crap out of him (mostly on accident). After they both leave the eyes on the Jack animatronic move and watches them go.

Vaughn takes the car to get it checked, lucky for him there is a place right across the street from the business they just bought. Scooter is working on the vehicle and tells him how he should just burn the building and everything inside it down. It is evil. He started his business across the street to keep watch over the place and make sure the evil doesn’t leave the building.

Vaughn is now thoroughly spooked by the place and tells Rhys that he is gonna go home before it gets dark.

Rhys is in the security office to grab all the papers in there because he needs to go through everything and file it away, he finds the hidden stack and recordings in the vent and starts going through them, listening to everything Roland had to say. Everything is neatly labeled.

He gets drawn in by everything and he finds himself back by the display where the Jack animatronic is while Roland’s ‘final’ recording plays and he says he is going to be checking it out for any more clues. Rhys turns on the animatronic. All hell breaks loose.

Much like Roland he ends up back in the security office locked away inside, he is backed up to a corner where he happens to find another tape, unmarked but he plays it anyway because he needs to hear. While he listens to the banging on the doors outside the office and in the recording he realizes he might just die here. He can hear the music, it is terrifying. But then he hears a softer sound playing, it is coming from the vents and since he’s never been very bulky he could fit in there. He didn’t want to die like Roland did so he starts climbing through it. The animatronics burst in at that moment and try to reach him before he can leave. They only get his shoe.

Vaughn having not been able to sleep and realizing the time goes back to he Pizzeria to make Rhys leave because he noticed he wasn’t home yet.

He enters the place and it is dark, the power is out and he only has a flashlight. He doesn’t know what is happening. Suddenly he is grabbed by the Moxxi animatronic and she is draggin him again when she stops. She is fighting Jack’s control, she always has, it is easier when she thinks she has a kid in her grip. She lets go of Vaughn and the shorter man runs for it but instead of leaving he goes to look for his friend.

Scooter noticing the commotion grabs his gun and goes into the building across the street, he was preparing to fight these robotic sunova bitches since he was a child.

Vaughn sneaking around, looking for Rhys. Scooter is looking for both of them. Rhys finds himself in a secret room that leads to where the sirens are being kept. He goes there because he is following the music.

Moxxi is acting up against the others, fighting with one of them again, Tim refuses to do anything, he doesn’t want to kill anyone he doesn’t want to fight against his friends.

Jack is pissed about all these people breaking the rules and he is hunting them down. He comes across Vaugn and he isn’t going to let him get away, he gets him with his claws and lifts him by his neck. He’s about to kill him when he gets shot by Scooter. He drops Vaughn and the smaller man makes his way to Scooter, holding his bleeding side.

Before another shot can get off into Jack another animatronic comes in to get them. Scooter knows when to back off and he helps Vaughn out. The mechanic has been wanting to burn the building down for years and he starts to go about it from the outside. Vaughn is too busy trying not to bleed out to stop him.

Rhys talks to Angel and she simple tells him to deactivate them and tear them apart and destroy the facility, it is the only way to set them free, to end whatever curse has fallen on the place caused by her father. He obliges and barely escapes the building.

The last thing the three survivors see is a fiery figure charging at them but before it can kill them it collapses, it was the Jack animatronic’s endoskeleton.

[trash-trashaf]

Nobody Quite Like This Ch. 3

Fandom: Voltron

Summary: The Paladins of Voltron have discovered a prisoner Galra ship. Hoping to find Pidge’s brother and father, they decide to sneak onto the ship and look for them. What they don’t expect to find is this: a mysterious human boy and girl, passed out behind bars

Word Count: 2464

Relationships: Matt/Shiro, others to come

Characters: Shiro, Keith, Lance, Pidge/Katie, Hunk, Coran, Allura, Original Characters, Matt(mentioned)

Warnings: Language

A/N: Third chapter of first Voltron fanfic, woot! I’ve gotten more views on AO3 then I thought I would so I’m excited! Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10326254/chapters/22829777

Thank you for reading and feedback is welcome!

Chapter Three: No I in Team

“So this is the training room?” Skylar asks as she peers around it. Hunk nods as he follows in after her. “Yup. It’s pretty neat.” Sky continue to walk around the room, quiet as she looks. She turns to Hunk. “How do you activate it?” he grins and walks over to a wall, causing a panel to pop up. She crosses the room to stand beside him and look around on it.

“Can I try it out?” “Sure! I’d, uh, start at the beginning level though.” he recommends and shows her how to set it up. She sets it to a beginning hand to hand combat level and steps into the arena. She activates the shield that was given to her as the gladiator rises from the floor. She crouches slightly, eyes trained on it. It’s scanner flashes and is immediately running towards her. She tenses up to brace for impact and throws her shield up at the last moment, catching it under the chin and throwing it upwards.

Hunk gaps as she’s quick to grab an arm and swings it into a wall, causing it to shatter and deactivate. She turns to him, eyes bright and shining. “Can we up the level and amount?” she asks excitedly. “U-uh...um, yeah. But...I’m coming in just in case you need help.” she rolls her eyes as he sets up the panel. “I can take them all on my own.” she snorts out as he steps in.

“Yeah well...just to be safe.” he activates his bayard, pulling up his cannon.

Several gladiators rise from the floor and are quick to turn on Sky, attacking her at once. A few have staffs of their own, but she twists and turns to block the objects with her shield, taking a few punches to the gut in the process. Her arm snakes out and grabs one by the leg and, with a spin, manages to knock the group around her down. In the process she breaks its leg off and takes several steps away. She beheads the closest one by bringing her shield down hard and steals its staff. Realizing she brought the shield down too hard and got it stuck in the floor, she abandons it and brings up the staff just in time to block another one from electrocuting her arm.

“Watch out!” Hunk yells as another slams its leg in the back of her knees, causing her to fold over and drop the staff. She rolls over just in time for a staff to miss whapping her in the side. Hunk fires up his cannon, blasting the nearest gladiators to her. They turn on him, seeming to realize she isn’t the only one in the arena. Skylar’s quick to react though and gets up before tackling one, crushing it under her weight. She yanks the staff from it and with a hard swing, beheads the last two. The simulation stops, causing the broken pieces and staffs to disappear through the floor.

Skylar pants hard and slowly looks to Hunk. “Thank...you..” she gives a small smile, which Hunk returns. “You’re welcome...that’s what a team is for, right?” she walks towards him, stretching her arms in the air. “Maybe I should listen to someone who’s been here longer, huh?” she laughs. He chuckles a bit as well. “Yeah, maybe. Though I think you could have started a little higher level. You absolutely destroyed that first gladiator.” he follows her out of the training arena. Skylar beams at him. “You think?”

“Definitely.”

***

“Do you think there’s any way to turn this into a fighter ship?” Pidge asks as they approach the escape pod. Roaron gives a shrug. “Perhaps. I’d have to take a look inside it first and even then I’d need a few parts. Mainly a couple of laser guns to attach and a set of controls for those.” he shows Pidge where the panel is and she cuts through the metal with her bayard. Roaron kneels down, Pidge leaning down beside him to look in it.

“It looks easy to rewire into a more stable and compatible ship.” she comments, pushing her glasses up. Roaron snorts. “Yeah, until you add rewiring to new weapons and a second seat inside.” “A second seat?” she questions, glancing to him.

“Well, yeah. You think I’m fighting without my gun woman then you thought wrong.” he stands up and looks down to her. “Besides, before we can get started I’ll need to make the weapons. Or get them. Just getting them would be nice.”

“Yeah, Allura’s just going to give up some of the castle’s laser weapons for you” she lays the sarcasm on thick. “Maybe there’s a storage somewhere with some old tech. I’ll have to ask Coran at some point.” she stands up beside him. Roaron side eyes her. “You know, I could probably get some really good ideas if I could see the inside of one of the lions.”

“And try to steal it? I don’t think so.” a voice comes from the doorway, causing them both snap their heads in that direction to see the red paladin. Pidge rolls her eyes. “This is almost worse than you and Lance. Do you just keep stalking him everywhere he goes?” Keith shrugs as he leans up against the door. “Until I have a reason to trust him, yes.”

“Oh? And what about the other one, Skylar?”

He laughs. “She doesn’t seem as smart as him. More brawn than brain. Besides, Hunk has been with her practically since she got up.” Roaron chuckles darkly. “I want to see you say that to her face emo boy.”

“What did you just say??” Keith snaps, stepping forward threateningly. Roaron crosses his arms over his chest.

“Yain’t deaf. You heard me.”

“Ladies, ladies, stop fighting, you’re giving me a headache.” Pidge groans, rubbing her temple. “Listen, how about this: you two fight for it. Keith loses, he has to start respecting you and you get to see the lions. Roaron loses, he doesn’t get to see the lions and we figure out how to build a good ship another way.” she holds her hand up as Keith starts to speak. “No, you’re using the training sticks, not real fucking weapons.” he looks offended, but his mouth shuts.

Roaron narrows his eyes at Keith, quiet for a few minutes. “I’ll take you on. But I want some referees so they can tell who gets the kill shot first.” Pidge claps her hands together. “Great! I’ll round up the others.” she starts to walk out as Roaron clears his throat. She stops and looks to him. “What?”

“You’ll need to distract Skylar and keep her away from the training area...she might interfere with the battle if it looks like I’m losing...and she won’t hold back.” she goes quiet for a minute.

“I’ll have Hunk and Lance distract her. Any hobbies she loves?”

“Baking.”

“Perfect.” she walks out the door. Keith glares once more at Roaron before walking away from the door and into the hallway. Roaron lets out a huff and shakes his head before walking out the door himself, it sliding shut behind him.

***

“Do you even know what any of these say?” Skylar questions as she picks up a tube of space goo, looking at the label. “We’re not entirely sure...but Hunk has a knack for creating some good food.” Lance replies, leaning against the counter. He pouts a bit, wishing he could watch Keith get his ass kicked by the newbie but no, he’s stuck here making sure the other one doesn’t ruin everything.

Hunk takes the tube from Sky and adds it to the bowl. She leans over slightly, sniffing the batter. “Mmmm...kinda smells like strawberries.”

“Let’s hope it tastes like them.” he replies, glancing over to her. He dumps the bowl into a square pan and places it into the oven.

Lance groans and sprawls over the table. He squints at Skylar. “Weren’t you shorter before? I swear you were shorter yesterday. Like. Two inches shorter.” she shrugs. “Maybe I’m finally getting my growth spurt I should have gotten back in 6th grade.”

“I’m pretty sure someone doesn’t grow two inches in one night once out of puberty.” Hunk says, resting lightly against the counter.

“Well...I don’t feel any taller. Roaron would be able to tell.” she glances around, her eyebrow dropping into a questioning look. “Which….where is he, by the way? I haven’t gotten to see him all day.”

“Well...um-” “He’s with Pidge, checking out the lions.” Lance interrupts, glancing to Hunk. Sky frowns a bit before tilting her head.

“How about we go meet up with them and lemme look at them too?” she asks, eyes trained on Hunk. He glances away. “We have to wait for the food to bake. I don’t want it to burn.”

Lance sits up and slides off the table. “I can go get him for you, if he’s still there.”

“Great! I’ll go with you.” she stands up straight and starts to follow him. “Wait wait wait...have I...shown you my secret stash of food?” Hunk questions, laying a hand on her shoulder. Lance quickly makes his escape as she looks back to Hunk. “..No?”

***

“Okay boys, let’s make this fight clean.” Pidge says as she sits back in one of the chairs behind the particle barrier. Shiro sits beside her, having agreed to be referee, with a little bit of convincing. Keith and Roaron are both dressed in their respective suits, Roaron in his Galra one that he landed on the ship with. Instead of real weapons they have two wooden swords so they don’t seriously injure the other. “Begin!” Pidge calls out.

Roaron bends his knees slightly, eyes trained on Keith. He knows the hot headed emo boy will probably be the first to make a strike if he waits long enough. Sure enough, after a few minutes of being motionless, Keith huffs and rushes him, bringing the tool out slightly to the side. Roaron tilts his sword to the side out in front of him and blocks Keith’s attempt at side swiping him, instead kicking out at his shins and just barely skimming them as Keith jumps back.

Roaron is quick to rush him this time as he’s unbalanced and there’s a loud crack! As the weapons strike each other again. Roaron presses hard enough to bring Keith’s own sword to his neck, but he has enough strength to keep it from quite touching it. Keith grits his teeth and shoves Roaron back, causing him to just catch his balance as he’s forced back a few steps. Keith rushes once again, cutting up from underneath but Roaron catches him with his own sword, stopping him long enough to kick out and catch Keith’s knee, causing him to collapse. He’s quick to roll and jump back up before Roaron can pin him with his sword. Both pant a bit, eyeing each other up.

“What’d I miss?” Lance whispers as he kneels beside Pidge, eyeing the arena where both are standing looking at the other. Pidge leans a bit towards Lance. “Both are decently matched: Keith’s quick but Roaron has the strength to block his attacks and sense to guess where he’s going to strike. It’s kinda interesting. It’d be cool to see how he stands up to Shiro but..” she glances towards Shiro, who’s too distracted by watching the fight to pay attention to them. “He doesn’t have a beef with Shiro so I don’t think he’d do it.”

Lance pouts a bit as he watches the two. “Too bad. That’d be so cool to see. Though I wouldn’t doubt Skylar beating up Shiro.” Pidge looks at him in alarm. “Why??” “You have to get the story from Hunk. He’ll tell it better than me.” she eyes him before returning her attention to the battlefield.

Keith is the first to move again, bringing his sword up and clashing once again with Roaron’s. What he doesn’t see coming is Keith’s leg, nailing him in the gut, causing him to cough hard and fall back. He brings his sword up as his back slams into the ground, blocking Keith’s deathblow. He pants and grits his teeth.

“Why don’t you give up, pretty boy?” Keith hisses out, pressing harder against the sword, bringing it dangerously close to Roaron’s neck. Roaron gives a smirk.

“Because I’m too stubborn to.” he launches forward, knocking Keith’s sword away in the process and pins his sword under his neck, causing Keith to lift his chin a bit. Both pant heavily, glaring at each other as the arena shuts down.

“Match set! Roaron wins!” Pidge calls as she stands up from her seat. Both of the wooden swords disappear and Roaron steps back from Keith before sticking out his hand. “Good match. It’s been awhile since I’ve been against someone skilled.” Keith eyes his hand before taking it and shaking it. He drops it first and walks away, heading to the door.

Roaron watches him go before glancing at Shiro, who shrugs. “He’ll come around.” Roaron snickers a bit: imagine the emo boy sulking. He keeps the thought to himself and rubs his stomach lightly, already knowing a pretty big bruise is going to form there. He glances to Pidge and chuckles a bit. “I think we’ll have to save exploring the lions for a couple days. He got me pretty good.” “I bet that knee hurts more than your gut though.” she comments. “Yeah, he was kinda limping out the door.” Lance adds, grinning.

“Do you need a healing pod?” Shiro questions, looking slightly concerned. Roaron waves his hand. “Nah, I’d just like some water.” “I’ll come with you: Hunk’s magic ought to be done by now.” Lance comments, walking out of the door with him in the direction of the kitchen. Pidge and Shiro glance to each other. Pidge glances down before looking back up.

“How long?”

“How long what?” Shiro asks back. She frowns slightly.

“How long were you and Matt together?”

Shiro tenses up a bit and glances away. He swallows hard. “A few months before the Kerberos mission launched. That’s why he never got to telling you. Our minds were focused on the mission and we spent our free time with each other. I...I think he was afraid that I’d leave him so he didn’t bother to announce our relationship to anyone.” he glances down to Pidge.

“He didn’t keep it secret on purpose and...neither did I. I was just respecting his wishes.” she stares at him hard before nodding sharply. “Alright.” she says before heading out the door. Shiro watches her go before sighing and walking after her.

[socomtacticalairsoft]

5 Common Mistakes of Airsoft Beginners

We were all the new guy at one point. We have all been there. Standing on the field in our tracksuit and trainers with a hire G36 in hand, mesh mask on and listening to the safety brief thinking “Blind fire…. What the hell is that?!”. I’m sure now we are looking back on those days like they were a distant memory – Just like shaking hands, meeting people down the pub or speaking to mates face to face! We are going to take a look at 5 mistakes that airsoft beginners should try to avoid.

  Wait Wait Wait So you have just played your first game of airsoft and you loved every minute of it. The comradery, the stories in the safe zone, the adrenalin, shouting “get to da choppa” every time someone mentioned the downed helicopter on the site. So you have decided that this is the hobby for you and you want to jump into it with both feet – STOP! WAIT! Don’t go out and buy the first RIF you see in-store or online with a starter bundle label and order it as two-tone. Work with the site that you have been too and complete your site membership. It’s only two more visits along with the one you have just completed. Once you have your defence this will then enable you to purchase any RIF you heart desirers in any colour you like – Pink is also an option!

2. Buy short, Buy Twice

So you have finally got your defence and you are off to your local airsoft shop to buy your first RIF. You take your hard-earned cash into the store and start to browse the shelves. I know what you are thinking “Hmm I could get that pistol for £80 and still be well under budget”. You need to think about how useful that pistol is going to be. If you are a player that just wants to run a pistol then fill your boots but don’t forget you are going to have very limited ammo so you will need extra mags (and those gas mags are not cheap!). You are going to need to take into account the temperature of the environment as well (due to gas guns being temperature sensitive).

  It would be a much better choice to go for a rifle or carbine. Something like an AR15, M4, AK, G3 or even an Aug if you are a bullpup fan. A good budget for a starter rifle will be in the region of £120 to £180 and this should set you up to be able to keep pace in any game you get stuck into. It’s worth not scrimping on your first rifle – that’s not to say that you need to drop a month’s wages on it but at the same time it’s worth getting something that is going to last and grow with you as you enter the hobby. 

  Eye Eye! The is the most important thing of all when it comes to getting into airsoft. Eye Protection. Currently, on the NHS there is no replacement for the MK1 eyeball so you need to take care of the pair you have. You can often see players on the field with thousands of pounds worth of kit on including RIF upgraded to the highest level, Comms equipment that a military unit would be proud of and night vision that is worth more than my car and yet… they are wearing a £10 pair of eye protection from eBay.

  Take care of your eye protection first! Good eye protection can range from £30 to £200. Get the best you can afford.

Give injury the boot! This is another area that is commonly overlooked. Most airsoft sites are abandoned or derelict and as such are normally full of slips and trip hazards. Although the site owners do a great job in making them safe and protecting us from harm they can not be everywhere at once. Even if they have just completed a site walk there is nothing to stop little Peter rabbit digging a hole in the middle of the site and then you sticking your foot down it whilst running full speed for cover. Trainers and shoes do not offer us the ankle support we really need when playing in these places. Make sure you get yourself a decent pair of boots – You can pick these up from airsoft or military surplus stores and they can range from £25 to £300 (Depending on brand and popularity). Again, Like eye protection, get the best you can afford! 

Play the game

The reason you got involved in airsoft was to have fun. Try to remember that when you are arguing with your friends about what is better over speedsoft or Milsim. Make sure you are having fun and let others around you have fun in the way they see fit, whether that is in a pair of Crye Trousers or Leggins and long socks! Have fun, Be honest, stay safe and most importantly….. Take your Hits!

    5 Common Mistakes of Airsoft Beginners was originally published on Socom Tactical Airsoft Shop Blog