#i started crying all over again... 😞 i'm so exhausted...

[chrisbangs]

[hope-drunk]

can you imagine abby kissing away your tears? or her reassuring kisses ❤️‍🩹 need her in my life as soon as possible

sobbb she's so cute 😞 (this gets kind of violent because abby gets mad so tw for gun & killing owen mention)

when you come back from an awful patrol, all you want to do is lay down in your bed and cry, and that's exactly what you do. it was rare that you got scheduled on a patrol without abby, but today was one of those days, and you were paired with owen, nonetheless.

he had yelled at you multiple times, even when you weren't making mistakes; you just weren't doing things his way. so, naturally, he felt the need to scream in your face about it, because it was owen.

you silently sob into the plushie that abby had brought back from one of her patrols. the tears flow cruelly down your cheeks; in other words, you weren't a pretty sight to see.

you barely hear the door open, abby shuffles in; sees you turned on your side and hears your sniffles.

"oh, baby," she says while walking over to you. she takes a seat on the bed, quickly rubbing a hand up and down your back. "what happened?"

the thought of explaining only makes you cry harder, which startles abby. she's never seen you so worked up.

"alright, shh. hey, can you calm down, sweetheart? m'trying to help you."

"i know!" you say through your blubbering tears, it's so whiny that abby's back straightens; she has to fight the urge to correct your tone, knowing that you're in a delicate headspace.

she continues to be gentle with you; waits for the crying to get quieter. she leans down every once in a while to drop a kiss to your temple. she frowns slightly at the tight hold you have on the stuffed animal. she remembers how happy you were when she brought it back to you. a plush bunny that somehow only had some dust on it.

"can we please talk? wanna help you feel better."

you turn towards her; push her up into the headboard and curl into her lap, "was on patrol and— owen yelled at me, like a lot, and i wasn't even doing anything wrong! he just— wouldn't stop yelling. was s'bad." you say, whispering the last part as the tears start to well up again. "sorry, don't mean to cry so much."

"don't apologize, please." she says, gathering her thoughts. her heart is racing, she's trying to keep calm and not kill owen, but she almost does. she wants to lay you down on the bed and checkout a rifle and go to his room; remind him to never speak to her girl like that again. she knows she can't though; knows she needs to comfort you instead. "i'm sorry he did that, bunny. you don't deserve that, and i know that you weren't doing anything wrong. been on patrol with you plenty of times to know that you know how to do your job. god, he's such a fucking asshole."

you nod your head in agreement. a yawn slips out of your mouth; the patrol and the crying exhausting you.

"that's alright, you can sleep. when you wake up i'll talk to isaac. let him know you're not gonna be paired with owen anymore."

you drift off with the knowledge that abby will always protect you. that she'll always be there to comfort you and face any confrontation that you don't want to deal with. and that's all you've ever needed.

[anaisnotrying]

"Have I been lied to..?"

₊ genre and tags: angst. idol au but its only mentioned once.

͟͟͞͞ pairing: idol!heeseungx gn!reader.

˚ synopsis: you and heeseung can fake a relationship, but for how long before everything blows up and feelings get hurt?

➳ warnings: angst. crying. mean hee. breaking up. sad times mainly (oops.. )

❥ wc: - 853 wors exact

˚₊ a/n: heeseung angst cuz was feeling emo srry guys 😞.

Everyone knew you and heeseung had the perfect relationship. All the qualities that were written in books and told in fairy tales. People were always so jealous of the love you had for each other. Love support care comfort admiration endearment etc etc. but that wasn't the case behind closed doors.

It always starts this way. You say something and he says the opposite leading to useless fights over nothing. You were too similar, both being close minded and only sticking to what you believed in. even when it came to someone you supposedly 'loved'. You were both so selfish.

It's the same thing over and over again. You get offended and leave, but he brings you back. he leaves and you bring him back. Always claiming " I love you and I dont want to". But, alas here you are again fighting over you can't even remember because you let your insecurities take over both of you. Again.

"God is it my fault you're always so insecure?! I'm sick of comforting you all the time. I have my own worries tooyou know. You're just so frustrating and exhausting. I hate being with you I hate you." he yells and mutters the last part. It stuns you. How can it not? After everything you've done for him. He still choose to say i hate you?

Standing there and taking in what he said, you look up at his eyes "...i love you, im sorry Im like this." you whisper while your eyes well up with tears. he's unaffected at first, he's seen it a before. you'll cry, he'll hug you and apologize and then you'll sleep on the same bed holding each other as if nothing happened.

You'll live tomorrow like nothing happened. But this time seems different. He can tell the look in your eyes shows that your mad at urself more than him. Even after he told you that you mean nothing to him and when he basically poured salt in all your wounds.

"Maybe we should just break up for good this time and i mean it."

"maybe we should just try to tell ourselves a good lie and say that we ended on good terms isn't that what you want people to know?"

"look I didn't mean to say that, but-"

"you can't take it back and say you were trying to make me understand how you feel.You always say too much and regret it after. I'm done forgiving you." you say locking eyes with him.

"you didn't mean to say I love you from the beginning either right?"

"... I'm sorry y/n."

"yeah i get it, i wouldn't wanna be with someone like me either"

"I-"

"someone like me deserves better than to be treated like this. I've done all I can to help you too. I saved you heeseung, multiple times that wasn't easy you know. I saved your friendships, your career, and I saved you from yourself too. Why am I still taking the blame after all that?"

It's better to say everything right now than holding these words in, even after you leave each other. "I never felt loved being with you. Everything that's associated with you is fake. your smile, the look in your eyes, your laugh, everything about you is just.. fake." You say with a scoff and walk towards him brushing his hair out of his eyes and holding his cheek in your hand as you always do. Always holding him so softly and gingerly. As if he's made of glass. To you he is. He always is.

His only problem other than being a selfish prick, is that he bites more than he can chew. No matter how much he promises to change and be better. He can't. He knows that he can't, and now he's done promising, which is why this is all happening.

"Admit that you're fake heeseung. That's all you'll be." you mutter and give him a pitiful look as more tears well up in your eyes blurring your vision. Blurring the tears welling up in his eyes too.

"I'm sorry." he whispers with a broken voice. He holds the hand that's on his cheek. He holds it and squeezes it showing his sincerity this time. Showing that he means it this time. but it's too late.

You pull away sighing. Taking your coat and bag, heading straight to the door. You tell urself not to look back. You know that if you look back you'll see him again, all broken and hurt, that sight that always breaks you and pulls you back to him.

"bye heeseung, I love you." you say as you open the door. You leave as if you're just going to work, as if you're just going out and that you'll come back soon enough. But now you both know that you're leaving for the last time and for good. No going back. No looking back. No taking back anything that happened .

"sorry y/n." was the last thing you heard as you closed the door behind you.

So much for 'perfect love' huh?

taglist!! :(tagging moots for now send wn ask or dm to be added to the permanent list!!) @redm4ri ꗃ @taejays ꗃ @slytherinhobi ꗃ @skz-minchan-enthusiast