#i stole some of those write ups from my earlier posts or i'd be writing until 2025

[dangermousie]

Hey dangermousie some time when you're feeling up for an ask: what are your favorite webnovels? Like danmei, bg, general fiction, anything. You've shared so many intetesting sounding novels in other posts so I was curious what some of the top favorites are? I remember Sha Po Lang, Ever Night, and The Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir (which I'm reading because of you ToT)

I love this ask! I am gonna limit myself to 35 novels or we will be here all night. The usual caveat is - this is very personal. You will see that out of 35 (well, 36) novels, there is only one modern, there is a lot of angst and things like noncon and unhealthy relationships don't bother me. But I dislike harem infights and protags who are too OP.

35 I Became the Older Brother of the Heroine in an Abusive Novel by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - a lovely novel where one half of otp is healthy and wholesome and the other abused feral wreck who melts under sanity and care.

34 After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - our MC is a modern person who transmigrates into a historical bad guy who apparently married a captured and crippled general who eventually healed, escaped and committed a lot of murder to avenge his humiliation. Poor historian MC transmigrates right before the wedding and is desperate to avoid the fate of having his head hang on the city gates for three years in the near future. Good luck! This has such a wholesome (yet not boring) OTP. Proof that healthy doesn't have to be dull.

33 You've Got Mail by He Dan Bai (danmei) - the sex in this one is gonzo and biologically questionable but the love story is wistful and sweet and somehow both hilarious and involving two rather damaged people.

32 The Blue Whisper by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the novel is a bona fide angst masterpiece, which really delves into what it feels like to be imprisoned or to love and what makes you you. I sniffled throughout.

31 The Paranoid Emperor’s Black Moonlight Shizun by Chen Sensen (danmei) - a really screwed up disciple and a really decent master have some insane entanglements. To say more would be to spoil but if you want some intensity, angst, groveling and utter codependency and did I mention ANGST? this one is for you!

30 Demon King's Repayment by Gong Xinwen (het) - another delicious Gong Xinwen tale with a powerful ML dedicated to capable FL. This one is a great fantasy plot (I keep imagining it as an animated series) and a sprawling cast of amazing secondaries (and secondary OTPs - there is, I swear, an OTP that is Dong Hua x Feng Jiu done thru GXW lens) to boot.

29 Accompanying the Phoenix by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the one that just got adapted into The Legend of Shen Li, this is high adventure and cottage core and funny and tragic and powerful ML being putty in the hands of capable FL and just EVERYTHING.

28 The Counterattack of the Cannon Fodder Chambermaid by Jia Mian De Sheng Yan (het) - I remember starting this and loving the realistic feel and the heroine and wanting to stab the hero. Yet the end I was on board with both the hero (who was abused and is rather autistic-coded) and the OTP. Anyway, heroine is a servant who was a concubine in the last life and got killed as part of a rich family’s harem intrigues. In this life, she just wants to keep her head down but her life gets derailed anyway. She gets sold away and eventually made a servant in the household of an exiled prince who takes a fancy to her and she endures it because what choice does she have? All she wanted was to serve out her term and become a small time merchant. This is quite realistic about lack of options for women, especially lower class women or upper class male attitudes (ML is never vicious or mean to FL but it does not initially occur to him to wonder if she fancies him or enjoys being his concubine or w/e.) It is a DELIGHTFUL slow burn tho as they grow to love each other and grow together and become one of the most wholesome cnovel couples out there.

27 The Black Moonlight Holds the BE Script by Teng Luo Wei Zhi (het) - so fucked up, so good, with monster hero who learns to love and be human and heroine who learns to love and be human (but from the other side, her tower of perfection), with a complex plot and no easy outs.

26 The Grand Princess by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a husband and wife who really drifted apart and ended up killing each other (or did they?) get a second chance as they are reborn as their younger selves. This has a great plot, a competent set of protags, and slow burn with complexity and trauma and somehow yet lightness. Plus awesome secondary OTPs!

25 Copper Coins by Mu Su Li (danmei) - a monk and a dragon? More likely than you may think. This is smart and wistful and made me cry; the romance doesn't kick in for the longest time and it doesn't even matter.

24 The Golden Terrace by Cang Wu Bin Bai (danmei) - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

23 Long Wind Crossing (Destined) by Mo Shu Bai (het) - two functional lovely people fighting the world and growing up together and forming an amazing marriage.

22 Mistakenly Saving the Villain by Feng Yu Nie (danmei) - so underrated. A perfect h/c fantasy with the most functional MC and fucked up ML that never puts even a toe wrong with a premise that could go seriously bad so many different ways, instead telling a funny, moving story of love helping you heal.

21 I'll Be the Male Lead's Sister in Law by September Flowing Fire (het) - one of my all time favorite novels. Heroine is made to marry a disabled nephew of the emperor. He used to be a victorious god of war but went mad and now is basically locked away and kept as a beast. GOD I LOVE THIS NOVEL SO MUCHHHHH! So much hurt/comfort and awesome OTP and after he eventually recovers, all he wants to do is to fight and murder things and dote on wifey. MMM. He’s honestly one of my fave MLs.

20 The Rebirth of a Star General by Qian Sha Cha Ke (het) - not a typical QSCK at all, this one has a heroine who wakes up after being killed by her awful family; in her past life she was a general whose glory went to her cousin but here she chooses to start anew. Revenge is secondary to her - forming a new life and healing are really the focus. Also the OTP (FL and a male general with his own tragedy, and her former schoolmate) is just EVERYTHING!

19 Nan Chan by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - it reads like poetry crossed with a nightmare. One of the most unusual novels I've read and with the most alien set of protagonists I've ever read and believably so (a personification of a sword and a cannibalistic fish), I can't even describe this in any way other than a deity-centric paean to atheism.

18 The Rest of My Life by Mo Shu Bai (het) - the sole modern on this list, this is a novella about an aftermath of a regular office worker with a regular life and a regular husband being raped. It's a hard hard read but it's amazing.

17 To Rule In a Turbulent World by Fei Tian Ye Xiang (danmei) - gay Minglan is my elevator pitch. Well that or "what happens if you stick cottagecore and crucifixion in one novel."

It’s a BL novel but honestly, it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating (I never thought I’d find daily farming things interesting but here I am.) Farming, politics and the sudden horrors of war all intermingle perfectly.

Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he buys a sex slave on a whim from his friend (OK, wait wait wait don’t go, why are you bailing :P) Basically You Miao sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. Let's back up - You Miao - our protag. He is the main reason I love the novel. It’s hard to write a character who is wealthy, kinda spoiled, sometimes immature and still make him eminently likeable. You Miao is also smart, pragmatic, funny, surprisingly laid back, a people person, and with a stubborn streak a mile wide. He is not perfect in any way but he is a real living breathing person I came to love.

Anyway, the ostensible sex slave he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go (not before they have some pretty explicit sex because hey - You Miao is all ‘why not, might be fun to try’ and LZF is “dude saved my life, why not.’ One of the things I love about the story is that there is no instalove - both sex and love make sense in the way and the order they happen; the two bang on a semi regular basis long before their feelings fully develop into love, which is pretty gradual and realistic.) However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him. One of the pleasures of the novel is watching LZF slowly transform from a piece of wood automaton into a genuine person who allows himself joy or temper.

So meticulously written, so smart, so vivid, such a cast of secondary characters (that friend who was beating LZF to death ended up being one of my favorite, most tragic characters in the novel because the author gets people are complex.)

16 The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by MXTX (danmei) - a pastiche parody of web novels that somehow is both witty and makes me genuinely feel desperately for the protags. Go read!

15 Dandere General and His Lord by Gong Xinwen (het) - God, I love this one. Heroine transmigrates from modern world into a brutal slave-holding world at war (think something like Warring States era.) Our heroine transmigrates into the body of a noblewoman who just hung herself. When she comes to, she discovers that woman’s twin brother was the ruler of a city poisoned by a rival claimant and the besieging army of said claimant is about to take the city and original occupant of the body and the rest of the family chose suicide as a way to avoid dishonor. Our heroine refuses, schemes with advisors to pass as the brother and rally the troops. Once the invaders are defeated, she keeps on the masquerade and rides off to one of the never-ending wars “she” is summoned to. Our hero couldn’t be farther from this. A slave and a son of a slave, he’s escaped a horrific, starving childhood during which he narrowly avoided being murdered or raped, and ended up in the army. When the story opens, he distinguished himself in battle and as a reward, he and a few of his fellow slave warriors are invited to a banquet, where they are given some alcohol and to be playthings of any nobles who want them. One of them does not survive this but ML is lucky - heroine feels terrible and so “claims” him for herself. Instead she just tends to his wounds and sends him back. She does not fancy him or anything, she is just a human being with a conscience. And the story goes from there.

14 The Marquis Is Innocent by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is the set up of very beautiful yet utterly cold-hearted woman marrying a ruthless, powerful man who eventually ends up on top of the murder pyramid. And a relationship that starts as a political arrangement with the husband not caring for her but then the ruthless scheming murder machine falls hard for her while FL actually does not, not yet. It takes a long time. This is such a glorious slow burn (I think by now you realized I love slow burns) and it takes her a very long time to open up or for him to realize that is what he wants (he's a very believable period man who finds it hard to admit he can actually have his happiness based on a woman) and there are steps forward and back and it's glorious, glorious!

13 Thousand Miles of Bright Moonlight by 罗青梅 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het) - one of my ultimate favorites, this would make such an epic drama! A smart as hell but cautious and wounded heroine, a hero who is a monk and a warrior but also terribly ill and such a vivid world and amazing secondary characters (heroine’s brother is possibly my favorite supporting character of all time) and so much angst and happy ending. Both the protags are such intense, good people longing for happiness but not daring for it. This has an amazing romance but it’s not romance-centric if it makes sense - ML doesn’t appear for a while. But once he does, it’s worth it!

12 Mountain and River Pillow by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a tender intense and tragic slowburn which shows the limits of knowing what will happen and the fight to reestablish the family with an amazing amazing OTP. Heroine transmigrated into her past self; this time she chooses to go through with her arranged marriage instead of running away for love (it ended badly) but her knowledge fails to prevent her new sweet husband and his whole family murdered in battle and framed for treason. All that is, except for her husband's youngest brother, barely adult and left with an almost impossible task. In the past life he managed but it hollowed him out. In this one he has a sister in law to assist so...Anyway, both the protags are smart, good, intense and amazing people and I love them separately and as an OTP. By far my favorite MSB novel.

11 Those Years In Quest of Honour Mine by Man Man He Qi Duo (danmei) - another really underrated gem, it’s funny and heart-breaking and made me laugh and sniffle within pages of each other. Its two protagonists are both walking wounded but also good people, and watching them find happiness despite all the horrors the world threw at them, watching them take care of each other is so lovely. Also, someone once described the ML as “Lan Wangji gone feral” and that is just A++++

10 The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by MXTX (danmei) - we all know that one is there even any point describing it.

9 Nightfall/Ever Night by Mao Ni (not romance centric but het) - so long but also so smart and unusual and bloody and tho it’s not primarily a romance, you will never see another ML who loves his FL as much as Ning Que does his Sang Sang. And the worldbuilding and the plot and the characters and just so so bleak.

8 Wu Chang Jie by Shui Qian Cheng (danmei) - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet. In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever. And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on. If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in. There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify. Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

7 Stars of Chaos (Sha Po Lang) by Priest (danmei) - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

6 Heaven Official's Blessing by by MXTX (danmei) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

5 (tie) The Emperor’s Beloved Ugly Girl by 一味相思 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het)- Our heroine is the unlucky laundry maid A’Chou. She is a di daughter of an upperclass family but her family got destroyed in one of the political upheavals of the time and A’Chou, only a small child at the time, was the only survivor and was made an enslaved laundry maid. Due to various events, at the start of the novel she is a laundry maid in a minister’s household and the minister’s beloved daughter is having a fit because she’s supposed to marry the former Crown Prince which may have been great a few years back but Crown Prince had since been deposed, tortured, imprisoned and now is living in the middle of nowhere under conditions that are too meager to be called house arrest. And he’s seriously crippled too. Understandably, the young lady doesn’t want to marry him! She’d rather kill herself and so she does. And so, a desperate plan is hatched - why don’t we pretend the laundry maid is the di daughter of the minister’s household and send her off? And so A’Chu is sent as the bride. She arrives to discover a broke, seriously injured man on the verge of death…and we go from there. This is so gorgeous and tender and slow in just the right way and like AAAAAA! Secondary OTPs (one of which is MM) are also epic.

5 Wishing You Eternal Happiness by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is almost tied with Dreamer as my favorite het web novel ever though it couldn’t be more different from Dreamer, with its hard-edged and hard-souled protagonists ruthlessly cleaving their way to the world and, eventually, each other, its smart cynical air. Except in one thing - the world of Wishing is just as bloody and dark. Its two protagonists are gentle, deeply wounded souls who may find salvation in each other but even something as basic as safety almost seems out of reach. Jliafu, our heroine, is neither a modern-day transmigrator, nor some exotic princess or demoness. She is very much a period woman of her time, from a weathy merchant clan, whose beauty is her curse. You can tell the novel’s tone from that utterly bleak opening chapter where she, a favorite concubine of a capricious dying emperor, is ordered to be buried alive with him and is not even given the “grace” of white silk but slowly suffocates in the coffin, scrabbling at the lid. There is no grand threats of vengeance on her part, not dramatic opera events. Just despair and death. The whole introductory chapter is haunted by emotional ghosts - the empress’ unrequited love for the monster on the imperial bed (turning into desire for Jiafu’s suffering after he dies), the emperor slowly dying in his prime after waging too many wars, and his fear of being haunted by Pei Youan, a brilliant if sickly minister who died of illness long ago on one of imperial campaigns. There is no triumph for anyone, only loss.

When she wakes up as still a young woman, all she wants is to escape the same fate. There are no plans for power or revenge, only a desire for survival. And so she latches on asking for help from Pei Youan, the only man in her past go-around who showed any consideration and desire and ability to protect her, though he barely knew her. Pei Youan is probably my favorite het web novel ML. Despite his brains and ability, he drifts through life. In modern terms, he clearly has depression. One of the biggest, best joys of the novel is watching these two very good, very quiet, very wounded people discover happiness and love with each other. I sort of want to cry just thinking about it, tbh.

4 Ballad of Sword and Wine (Qiang Jin Jiu) by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train. In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs. Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

3 Dreamer In the Spring Boudoir by Bai Lu Cheng Shuang (het) - my n1 het novel on this list, smart and fierce and don’t really read this for romance because it does not start until really late, but ice cold heroine x ice cold hero both of equal brains and ruthlessness is everything. I went from loathing the ML to finding him fascinating to adoring him (and yet he softened around the edges only for FL, he never became “nice”) and loved FL throughout; secondaries are epic. If you read only one non-danmei web novel, make it this one.

2 Stains of Filth (Yuwu) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated. Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love. Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

1 The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) -my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.) Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!) Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

[bunny-jpeg]

Oops sorry I just sent the CoD ask about you and cottontail’s faves and forgot the most important thing lmao…

Hang in there… long distance is so hard. Maybe you wanna invest in a body pillow. I saw some hot CoD ones, but tell me why they’re $50+…

Soon y’all will be together and live the cottagecore (or whatever aesthetic you love) of your dreams! 💗

thank you lovely anon for the messages! both were well welcomed and i'll answer them both in the same post!

yeah, long distance can be a kick in the teeth. it's only going to be harder when he's even further away come june. so it's a lot of holding on. he said that if need support or resources for dealing with any emotional turmoil during the eight months overseas then he'll happily talk to whoever he needs to talk to so i can get that help - as he always tells me, i'm never alone in this. it mostly stings when he's busy on the field and all of my friends are out for the night so there isn't much to distract myself with. last time, i think i made kraft dinner and watched an avengers movie with my mom. i'm not resentful towards cottontail, it's not forever and he'll be home soon enough. i know that he's already thinking up of the perfect date to take me on when he comes home for a visit next month.

(more rambles under the cut)

the way i look at it, it's forcing me to really work on my writing and try to build a body of publishable works. i have a lot of free time, haha. i want him to come back and i've made greater strides towards being traditionally published and having a bit more money in my pocket so hopefully we can start really looking at the future together.

he's been suggesting that maybe in a couple of years we'll move outside of our province and settle down in army housing. i said as long as i have access to my medications (for my mental health and transition) then i'd happily go anywhere! but thankfully we're both not people to make decisions without really thinking it through! so, right now it's just get through deployment, i finish school and i start work on trying to get published. - after that we can discuss things like moving in and marriage. it's just laying down the seeds so we can water them later!!

funny enough, i do technically have a body pillow. i have one of those big ikea bears! before his departure, he took me to ikea and asked me to pick out 2-3 plushies that he'd buy for me. i got really flustered at the idea and i didn't want him to spend too much money on me. in the end i picked the bear and the alien. both are on my bed. and when i do miss cottontail, i put the hoodie he gave to me (i stole it) on the bear (named hugo) and snuggle it to death.

it's not the same, but it lessens the lonely feeling. last year it felt like in a blink of an eye it was july, now it feels like i'm slugging through the year since he left for training!!! hugo has been doing his service well - also been the protector of my nightmares while cottontail is unable to be there next to me.

Am I right to assume your fave CoD hunk is Ghost? Is cottontail into CoD too? And is his fave Ghost too?

i used to be really into soap, i actually have the captain/09 soap figure that i got for 5$ at a yard sale last summer. he still sits on my shelf quite proudly. i thought that ghost was like the default choice that everyone loved so i guess i wanted to be a silly, goofy guy and different. - and then cottontail just gave off a lot of ghost vibes. big guy, dry sarcasm, fairly monotone kind of voice - but not boring. big, bulky blond from the military who is cold to most, but is warm to one specific person (for cottontail i'm that person). i didn't hate ghost, but i've come back around, haha.

cottontail likes his war games - he likes putting them on and playing them on a low volume when he gets up earlier than me, which is often. i've never asked if he liked call of duty in particular, i do remember he likes halo. only because i told him how old i was when halo 4 came out, and he went "yeah i was nine." and i felt myself age rapidly. we've also played minecraft together and he has watched me play pokemon (which is my personal favourite series) and forced him to pick a favourite pokemon.

i'm certain that if he had a favourite member of 141, it might be captain price because of his leadership skills and the missions in game where you play as him would be more up his alley.

[romaine2424]

Daily Blog June 27, 2023

Arg! I'd hoped to spend sometime planting the pretty flowers I bought yesterday but to my dismay I discovered an invasive weed was mixed in with my Shasta Daisies, which are just about to bloom. The kind of weed that attaches to your clothes and skin. Gloves came out and two hours later, I made a huge dent. Flowers tomorrow.

I had mentioned there were would be additional categories I'd throw into the mix and today I have one I've been anxious to get to. I'm going to call it Magical Elves. They are the people who help make fandom run. I mentioned @phoenixacid in an earlier post, who has been hosting @hd-fan-fair for ten years. This category will cover folks like her and that do even more...yes, even more...

What I'm reading:

On the Discord Drarry Fans Writers and Artists there is a channel for recs. I stole this one from there but then discovered I'd already read it. However, it was long enough ago that I don't remember all of the details. I think I read it when it first came out and before I hopped back into fandom in spring of 2021. The Ordeal of Being Known (146k) by @lou-isfake. I'm only on chapter 3 right now but I just love this Draco and his Oscar the Grouch house-slippers and his house-elf Timsy. The writing is so fresh and clever, I find myself smiling most of the time. Here's the summary, which I think gives you a flavor of the writing style I'm talking about:

When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter. Features fuzzy cartoon slippers, devious house elves, 90s music, and lots—LOTS—of memories. Ron is annoyingly hot, Hermione sees right through you, Harry is a powerful idiot, and Draco is a reclusive masochist that would buy an entire city if it would make a kid happy. (And Pansy is "5'2, I wanna dance with you, and I'm sophisticated fun.")

Go read The Ordeal of Being Known on AO3.

Hit the Keep Reading!!!!!

Magical Elves:

The first person I want to highlight in this category is actually someone I've met in person at HP Cons and we've stayed in touch over the years in real life. *hugs darlin* You've probably seen @sassy-cissa's name as an author or maybe an email asking you about a fic for a fest but I'm betting most of you have no idea how much she's done for fandom for more than a decade and half, especially for Drarry fandom.

Let me list the ways in how awesome she is:

Current modding responsibilities:

25 Days of Draco and Harry (started in 2009) What 2009 ? Oh my! And do you know she reads each and every story posted for the fest and comments, too! HD Mpreg Fest – (started in 2011 – I've been modding since 2018) HD Fan Fair/Career Fair – co-modding since 2019)

Previous modding responsibilities:

Co-mod for H/D Erised from 2014 to 2018 Moderated the H/D Prophet from about 2016 to 2021

See that last one H/D Prophet. Take a look at the link just for a moment. Every Drarry WIP that was updated that week was listed, fests' status, drabble prompts, etc...Every single week. The prophet soon closed down after a few more months due to lack of participation (fandom had moved away from LJ).

Communities owned and/or Maintain:

On LJ: Slythindor100 and HarryDraco Mpreg On Tumblr: H/D Mpreg and Slythindor100

In addition, why yes there is more, Sassy writes, too, and beautifully! Sassy-Cissa (on AO3). Over 109 stories, mostly Drarry, some Hermione/Severus and a few Harry/Ginny...but as she put it....(but they usually end up divorced or Ginny dies). *snicker*

And she's on FanLore! And she also betas for some of the best.

So I know this is long but I just want folks to be aware of those working in the background, making our experience here in fandom enjoyable and filled with lovely content. They truly are magical elves. Sassy doesn't post much on Tumblr or on Discord but she does pop-in now and then. Next time you see her name, you'll now know who she is.

Tumblr Tidbit:

Did you know that you can edit the text below the Keep Reading line on your post and it will make the changes to all reblogs of your post. Edit above and sorry the reblogs will show the original. This comes in handy if you're making a Masterlist of works or something else that has lots of links or needs to be updated frequently.

Happy Tuesday and Sorry this was so late. My ancient computer decided to crash multiple times. Rom

[crush3dmary]

20 questions writer meme

I stole this. Feel free to steal it too if you want.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

37

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

364,141

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Yugioh DM and Tales of! Mostly Symphonia and formerly Crestoria (rip).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Darling Lagomorph (crestoria) at 155 Weltschmerz (symphonia) at 133 Philosophy of a Knife (ygodm) at 94 Fear's Ascent (crestoria) at 83 Have You Seen Me? (crestoria) at 78

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really struggle with this to be honest, if I get a really long comment or someone saying the fic was really impactful I try to respond but honestly I usually just leave it and reply elsewhere if I know the author unless someone is actually asking something/wants more info about something. This is basically just because I'm busy but also in part due to my old dA fame (bleh) getting me in the bad habit of never replying to anything.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably In the arms of the heretic (ygodm) that fic really means a lot to me though and I think because of the premise it worked.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd have to say Absurdities and Echoes (symphonia) poor Zelos deserves it after everything else I put him through in that series. Sorry about your ring finger.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple rude comments but it's basically been curbed ever since I turned off guest comments on my works. You can say it with accountability or not at all. Most recently I got a moralizing comment from someone about Ryou being 16 in Philosophy because of the smut that kind of had implications I didn't like but that's about it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I used to write a lot of crestoria smut on my alt account (IYKYK) but I will sometimes include it as a framing device to develop character relationships. There's quite a bit of smut in Philosophy for example because loneliness and isolation are such big themes for Ryou and Bakura, but generally if I post something with smut to my main account it's because it's relevant to the story or develops the character relationships.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have a proper Symphonia/Crestoria crossover in the works that's a continuation of TOC game canon, but I've been at a standstill with my Tales works lately so it's pretty far off from being posted unfortunately. But I hope you guys give a chance once it's up, because the lore is SUPER cool.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A certain someone who knows who they are has either plagiarized or bastardized lines from some of my popular crestoria works but other than that no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet but it would be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Charles and I did a collab PITY // PIETY earlier this year and it absolutely slaps! Luisa and I are also working on an art/fic collab right now that I hoe to have posted by the end of the year but we'll see... sometimes life has other plans.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Zelloyd's gotta take the cake for this one sorry fam. When it's been your otp for 15 years nothing can ever top it. But for yugioh it's a tie between thief/tender/angst I like any combo of those three.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I try to finish everything I start, but I've got a couple Tales WIPs that I'm having trouble finding the spark for. It's not that I don't think they'll ever be finished, but it might be a while until they see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I really succeed when it comes to imagery and descriptive prose, plus getting inside characters' heads. I want to make people feel things with my work. I think the reason Philosophy and Darling Lagomorph are some of my best and most popular is because they're an opportunity for me to show off those strengths where I excel most.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

World building. I hate doing infodumps but I really struggle to include lore in ways that don't come off that way. This is a big reason I've never made the dive into original fiction (for now, I'm in the planning stages for my first novel. Stay tuned.)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

The only time I've ever done it is when writing Yuna from Crestoria because she includes random french in canon too. I also did a french title for the latest chapter of Philosophy which was kind of fun. I think it's something you can swing if you're prepared to do your research but if not, avoid avoid avoid.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Tales of Symphonia. The things I put Zelos through, man. If you think I'm bad now you should have seen me at 14.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

If I had to choose just one probably Philosophy of a Knife, because like I said earlier, I get to combine all of my strengths into something I feel really proud of. I think I picked the perfect time in my "writing career", so to speak, to work on it because I feel like the writing style is very cohesive and it seems to have resonated with a lot of people so far, which makes me very happy. I hope you guys continue to enjoy my work going forward!

[angidescent]

Tonight I'm seeing Iron Maiden live for the 5th time. It's always an emotional time for me and I started thinking about a blog post I wrote about it in 2016. Figured I'd copy it here just in case anything ever happens to my Wordpress blog.

A Musical Memorial

April 21, 2016

“And in a moment the memories are all that remain, / And all the wounds are reopening again” – “Blood Brothers” by Iron Maiden

I firmly believe that a life without music is not worth living. It reaches into the deepest parts of our souls and allows us to process or feel every emotion imaginable. It makes us relive moments. Music has the ability to break all cultural, societal, economic, and language barriers to make us feel something powerful. And no person experiences or hears a piece of music the same way. It is also a well-known fact that in the metal community, there is a deep connection among the members. Some say there are no strangers in metal, just friends we haven’t met yet. While music has always had this magical hold over me, Iron Maiden in particular has the power to make me feel every emotion and relive almost every moment of my life. Especially the most painful ones. It has taken me a while to write this, but earlier this month, I attended my fourth Iron Maiden concert. To understand the significance of this, you need to understand why this band in particular is closely tied to my relationships with three important men in my life. After I get those details out, I promise to rip your heart out with a very emotional story.

I am very fortunate to be a second generation metalhead, hence my common use of the phrase “from the womb to the tomb” to describe my metalhead status. It can be argued that metal music always brought me comfort because Dad would sing metal songs to me as lullabies. Yes, Enter the Sandman and Screaming in the Night were excellent lullabies! And when I became a properly sentient larvae, I would pick CDs to fall asleep to. I essentially stole Iron Maiden’s Somewhere in Time and Twisted Sister’s Big Hits and Nasty Cuts from him. Some of my favourite childhood memories are sitting in the living room while Dad acted like a DJ. He would play all sorts of records, cassettes, or CDs and tell us trivia or memories associated with them. He’d also quiz us on what band or album it was, a game Sister never excelled at and hated! I am happy to report that she is much better at it now. Perhaps it was partly due to me always being a daddy’s girl, but metal has remained my primary genre of music throughout my life. He was so damn proud of me when I started my metal and punk radio show in university!

Growing up as a metalhead was frustrating at times. I’m not usually one to pull this card, but being a girl didn’t help. Other than liking the odd song or band, most of the other girls didn’t listen to metal. And the boys? Well I stopped even mentioning my music preferences because most of them would claim I was lying or quiz me to prove my authenticity. Hell, even Spike didn’t quite believe me when we first met, but I soon made him see the truth. What didn’t help my case was the fact that I was a shy kid and tried to blend in to avoid being bullied. I wore casual, bright clothes while at school and got straight-As; I didn’t fit the stereotype. I will never forget the look on my Literature 12 teacher’s face the day he played Iron Maiden’s “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” in class. He hated metal and lectured the whole time he was setting up the CD player about how much he hated metal and expected the students not to enjoy it, but he was going to play this anyway because it was an example of how old poetry can still be relevant in modern culture. He was obviously shocked and disappointed in me when he noticed I was quietly drumming on my desk and lip syncing while pretending to serenade my ballerina friend.

That moment in Literature 12 was also a significant one for Ragehorn and I. You see, although Ragehorn and I had known each other since elementary school, we weren’t close. In high school we ended up in two of the same social circles, but remained friendly acquaintances at best. During grade 12, after the majority of one of those circles had graduated, we finally became proper friends. Maybe it was just out of loneliness. For the first time since elementary school, we had classes together and were both on the Scholarship Team, so we got better acquainted. But when he looked over during that moment in Lit class and I noticed his foot tapping along, we had a sudden realization that we had more in common than we thought. After that, our bond continued to grow and developed into full-fledged best friend status when we started university.  And Maiden continued to be the soundtrack of our friendship: driving around town, sitting in the campus hallways, or passionately arguing when we had different opinions about individual songs or albums. Through me, Spike and Ragehorn also became close friends and it wasn’t long before people started cracking jokes about me having two boyfriends or calling Ragehorn Spike and I’s boyfriend. We were quite happy with our platonic threesome whatever way you sliced it.

The first time Iron Maiden announced a concert near me in my lifetime, I told Dad we were going. He didn’t even have a choice; he was bringing his daughter to the slaughter! I was 19 at the time and also asked my boyfriends if they wanted to come. Of course they did, it was Iron fucking Maiden! By Eddie that was a magical night! It was Spike, Ragehorn, and I’s first big concert and we were excited!  Ragehorn was a really shy, quiet guy during this stage of his life and didn’t know Dad well yet, so he almost pissed himself the first time Dad let out a scream. While the three of us were head banging and yelling, Ragehorn quietly rocked out with foot tapping, head bobbing, and the odd horned salute. And he definitely pissed himself when we were driving home and “scary” Dad told my uncle over the phone that he had to switch spots because Ragehorn wouldn’t stop grabbing his ass. It took a while for him to get used to Dad’s humour. Two years later, Iron Maiden returned and Dad, Spike, and I bought tickets! Ragehorn originally declined our invitation, but decided to come last minute and bought a spare ticket my uncle had right next to us. In those two years, he had become much more outgoing and knew Dad quite well so he threatened to grab Dad’s ass outright. Thankfully his head banging had also improved. At the time Cupcake and I had this shtick where we would send “snexy selfies” to one another. The point of them was to be unflattering or downright goofy. The night of the second Maiden concert, we took this snexy shot:

I will always be so thankful that Ragehorn decided to join us that night because less than a month later, he was dead. Yep, the night of his birthday a whole group of us were celebrating. We had a designated driver (me) and left his ride at a totally different location blocks away from where we were. No one thought anything of him and Orange going for a walk around the block to sober up because that is what they had done for years without incident. For whatever reason though, they decided to walk to the bar we left the car at and drive that night. If there is anything positive to this heartbreaking and traumatic experience, it was that it was a single car crash and they both died painlessly on impact. The only people that suffered were those left behind to grieve. When Ragehorn’s mother wanted his guitar played at their funeral, we knew it had to be an Iron Maiden song. It was decided that his bandmates, Spike and Saiyan, would perform. Dad, Spike, and I spent hours deciding on what song to choose before “Blood Brothers” hit us like lightning. Leading up to the funeral, even more hours were spent in my parents’ living room arranging and rehearsing a shortened, acoustic version. And crying…lots of crying. Saiyan couldn’t touch Ragehorn’s guitar at first, so he used my guitar; which he had to retune because Ragehorn had decided to tune it drunk a couple weeks before. I’ll never forget the moment he unconsciously grabbed Ragehorn’s guitar and Mom quietly saying “Saiyan…don’t panic, but do you realize what’s in your hand?” He almost dropped it, but from that point on he used it. Every minute from the moment we realized Ragehorn and Orange were missing to the day after the funeral is burned in my memories, but the performance at the funeral is a particularly vibrant one. Watching Saiyan hesitate picking up the guitar, Spike singing every painful emotion, me gripping Cupcake and Toxic’s hands when I saw my ever strong father crying. It was the only performance Thanatos Instinct ever did; the band couldn’t go on after losing Ragehorn. Further on the Maiden theme, the shirt Ragehorn bought at one of the concerts was turned into a stunning memorial teddy bear.

Not a day goes by where I don’t think about Ragehorn and Orange at least once, but as the Maiden concerts approach it becomes almost unbearable. The first Maiden concert without Ragehorn was two years after he died. I cried for days leading up to it; it was the first one without him and the universe didn’t seem fair. Assholes will argue that he somehow deserved to die for driving drunk, but Spike and I didn’t deserve to lose our best friend when we were all so young. We didn’t deserve to lose our best man before we even got engaged. The first song that got to me that night was “Afraid to Shoot Strangers,” a favourite of ours to blast in the truck while driving around in the middle of the night. Then came “Wasted Years,” the ringtone I had assigned for his calls. Along with “The Evil That Men Do,” which they played later, these were the tracks I played on repeat when I couldn’t control my grief. With lyrics like “And I will pray for her, I will call her name out loud/And I will bleed for her, if I could only see her now” and “Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind/Can’t ease this pain, so easily/When you can’t find the words to say it’s hard to/make it through another day/And it makes me wanna cry and throw my hands up to the sky,” they struck all the right emotional chords. As Hans Christian Andersen said, “Where words fail, music speaks.” But even with the tears, it was cathartic. Yes, it was painful, but it was also a perfect time to remember him and all the crazy adventures we had. It made us feel like a piece of him was still with us if only for a few moments.

It has been over 5 years since we lost Ragehorn, so as the lights were going down and Maiden was taking the stage this time, I thought to myself “let’s see if I can do this without crying! Tears are not metal!” I’d have thoughts like “Ragehorn would be so mad because these seats are amazing,” but I was keeping positive. I was doing fine…until the encore. The front man, Bruce Dickinson, was doing his little speech between songs to introduce the next one, and then he caught me off guard with a song I didn’t expect: “Blood Brothers.” Sure, they had played it at the second concert we attended, but I didn’t expect them to perform it again. As soon as Bruce said the word “blood,” I started tearing up. As the music started, Dad looked back at me and said “Ragehorn’s with us.” At that point, I fully broke down crying. Spike hasn’t been able to listen to the song since the funeral, so I wrapped my arms around him, buried my face in his chest, and just cried as I sang along. I started to compose myself as the song ended, but they followed it up with “Wasted Years.” I texted Cupcake “Fuck they’re doing Blood Brothers” followed by “And they fucking followed it with Wasted Years.” Then I sent her a snexy selfie of me all teary-eyed giving the horns, haha! I belted the song out as loud as I could, tears still streaming down my face. And what went through my mind when this happened? I just pictured Ragehorn standing with us, laughing at me and too proud of himself for making me lose emotional control; for making me cry in a METAL concert! As much as he hated seeing me cry, I know a piece of him would love that we still miss him so much. That we still think of and celebrate him at every Maiden concert, throw a little birthday party for him, and tattoo our bodies because we loved him so much.

[little-red-and-his-wolves]

Hey I'm sorry you're feeling down. ❤ I'd love to submit a prompt. AU mermaid Stiles that's curious and mischievous and Derek the poor gruff that Stiles wins over with his charms. Either like pirates or seaworld type exhibit or anything!! I really hope whatever's got you down goes away soon. ❤

Hey, thank you for the prompt! It was really fun to write. And thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately part of what has me down isn’t likely to go away for the next few weeks but the rest should, hopefully, be temporary. Regardless your prompt was a blast to fill and I hope you like it!

(It got a bit long so I also posted it on AO3 if you like to read it there.)

Don’t go to thesurface, he’d said.

It’s dangerous,he’d said.

There’s nothingworth seeing, he’d said.

I swear to God,Stiles, if you don’t listen to me, he’d said.

Joke was onFather then. Stiles never listened and there was definitely something worthseeing. Specifically six feet of something tall, dark, and gorgeous.

Stiles dippedbeneath the water again so he was mostly submerged, letting the current carryhim towards shore a little more. He took shelter behind a rock, clinging easilyto its slick edges as the waves beat against him, the water lapping in and outof the shallow alcove rhythmically.

The man, whoStiles had taken to calling Beasty, grumbled to himself as he tuggedfruitlessly at his tangled net before throwing it away with a huff and kickinga bucket for good measure. Stiles laughed quickly ducking fully beneath thewater when Beasty spun around at the sound.

Slipping easilythrough the water Stiles resurfaced on the other side of the pier grasping thewood to pull himself up far enough to grab the net before diving back into thewater prize in hand. He heard a shout echo muffled from the surface fading awayas he swam deeper pausing about part way down to examine the net. It really washopelessly tangled. He settled at the edge of the shelf, staring absently outinto the deep blue while he let his fingers work at the knots. Eventually heworked them all free and had the net untangled. He cast it out to make sure itwas completely free of knots before carefully bundling it up and securing itwith a strand of seaweed.

Beasty wasn’ton the pier when Stiles returned. Instead he had his back turned to Stiles ashe fought with one of the lines on his adorable little boat that wouldn’t lasta day out beyond the harbor. Stiles smiled hauling himself up to rest hisforearms on the pier as he watched Beasty trip over a bucket and promptly loseall the tautness he’d managed to gain in the line.

Stifling downhis laughter Stiles glanced over the pier taking note of a small leather objectresting beside a metal bucket full of chum and a metal ring full of keys. Heset the net aside and stretched across the pier to snag the edge of themysterious object. When he flipped it open Beasty’s face greeted him, gloweringup from a small square covered in the odd symbols of the landwalker’s languageStiles had never bothered to learn how to read. He spoke it well enoughlearning from those merfolk who had walked among the landdwellers and fromlurking along the shore, but he’d never seen much point in learning the writtenwords. Now though, he wished he knew what the lines meant.

He stroked afinger over Beasty’s picture before cocking his head to the side to look at theother picture. It wasn’t the same material as Beasty’s, far more flimsy andworn, but it was devoid of words. Stiles picked Beasty out amongst the otherfaced easily, settled in-between two girls and smiling. It was odd seeing suchan expression on Beasty’s face, but Stiles had to admit he had a nice smile.Nice enough that Stiles kind of wanted to see it for himself in reality.

Somethingclattered against wood and Stiles jerked back, glancing over to the boat andshocked to find Beasty staring at him slack-jawed. Stiles just stared back amoment, some part of his brain urging him to flee while another tried toconvince him to stay. Several long moments ticked by and then Beasty moved.Stiles’ hand darted forward almost on its own volition, snagging the keysbefore he pushed off the pier and dove back into the water. He swam straightfor the shelf and then beyond it out into open water keeping his hands clutchedtightly around his spoils.

*

“The…mermaidstole your wallet,” Laura said slowly looking like she was about three secondsfrom suggesting they take a ride to the county hospital. Not for the first timeDerek questioned his decision to tell her the truth rather than continue lyinglike he’d been doing for the past few months.

“My keys too,”he added. “And my watch. And my water bottle. And a couple pieces ofsilverware. And my shoes. And one of my coats. And my cell phone.”

Laura blinked.“You told me you accidently dropped your phone off that stupid boat.”

“Yes. Because Ifigured you’d call me crazy if I said I thought a mythical sea creature tookit,” Derek said dryly.

“I wouldnever,” Laura protested pausing when Derek arched a single eyebrow to sighdramatically. “Fine, okay, maybe I would have been concerned about your mentalhealth. But, really, Derek, can you blame me? You’re out here for weeks on endall by yourself with this stupid fishing boat. What are you even doing?”

“Hey,” Dereksaid mildly offended even if he also thought the boat was stupid though likelyfor much different reasons. “You’re the one who said I should get a hobby.”

Laura rolledher eyes. “Yes, like yoga or krav maga or even crocheting. Not…fishing orwhatever it is you do out here.”

“Not a lot ofactual fishing to be honest.”

“And that’s mypoint, Derek. What are you doing? Like, what even is that?” she asked pointing at the small bucket Derek had forgotten toclean out earlier. “It smells awful.”

Derek frownednudging it with his foot. “It’s chum. Supposed to lure fish in.”

Laura wrinkledher nose. “Does it work?”

“Not really inmy experience, no,” Derek admitted a bit forlorn. Nearly ten weeks and he stillhad yet to actually successfully catch anything. “But I think I’m doing itwrong.”

“Okay,regardless, what made you change your mind now?” Laura said turning a little onthe pier to face Derek fully. “Why tell me about your mermaid?”

“I think he’sactually a merman,” Derek corrected squinting against the sunlight glinting offthe water. “And because I actually saw him. Stared at him for a full coupleseconds really. I’d always just caught him out of the corner of my eye before.But this time…I literally watched him steal my keys. He just dove across thepier and snatched them before diving off.”

“Okay,” Laurasaid again pausing before continuing. She kicked her feet in the water,drumming her fingers against the wood. “For the record I still think there’s apossibility that smelling that fish chum all day has rotted your brain andyou’ve lost your mind. But on the off chance that you haven’t…do you thinkhe’ll come back?”

“I don’t know,”Derek replied honestly, but a small part of him certainly hoped.

Derek spent thenext few weeks keeping an almost obsessive eye out for any not-so-mythical seacreatures peeking up from the water but the surface remained frustratinglyundisturbed. Derek took to leaving odds and ends scattered about the pierhoping that one morning he’d come out to find something missing. By the end ofthe third week he had a collection of a couple shot glasses, a small wolffigurine Cora had given him years ago, a keychain with a fork bent into a peacesign, several pens, a screw driver, a big mug shaped like Darth Vader, an oldcell phone that hadn’t worked in years, and several coins scattered over thepier.

He’d prettymuch given up any hope of the sea creature coming back, and started seriouslyquestioning exactly why he found that thought so disappointing, when it finallyhappened. Derek was once again swearing at the stupid boat for not justcooperating for him when the hair on the back of his neck stood up and hecaught a slight disturbance in the water out of the corner of his eye. He frozefor a second, surreptitiously glancing over his shoulder at the face justbarely peeking up from the water by the pier, large eyes trained Derek’sdirection. After a moment Derek forced himself back into motion all butignoring the merman’s presence. The head dipped back beneath the water andDerek felt a pang of disappointment before the merman resurfaced on the otherside of the pier.

He hovered justvisible for several long minutes before slowly rising more, one webbed handclutching the edge of the pier as the other carefully plucked one of the shotglasses up for inspection. One long finger stroked over the glittered lettersas his lips moved silently almost like he was trying to puzzle out the words.

“It says‘fucking magnificent’,” Derek said, not raising his voice too much and keepinghis tone purposefully calm.

As expected themerman pushed off the pier, backing away several feet but not diving beneaththe surface. Derek kept himself focused on the ropes in front of him onlyglancing over every once in awhile.

“A gift from mysister,” he explained. “She thought it was hysterical. Something about theunicorn really spoke to her.”

Derek paused,kept his fingers twined in the rope as he glanced over his shoulder pleased tosee the merman still bobbing in the water even if he looked a bit suspicious.He raised the glass again to look at it, running his finger over the image. “Ithought this was a horse?” he said and Derek almost dropped rope in shock.

The merman’svoice carried easily and was surprisingly clear though accented. It held athroaty, almost guttural undertone and Derek wondered if it was from notspeaking often or from not speaking above the water.

“It is,” hefinally replied. “But the horn on its forehead turns from just a horse into aspecial horse. A unicorn.”

“A unicorn,”the merman repeated staring at the glass contemplatively. “And these words,what did you say they were?”

“Uh, fuckingmagnificent,” Derek said.

“Very special.I see. Because it is a unicorn.”

“Right,” Dereksaid weakly watching at the merman swam closer again to peer at the otherglasses. Derek swallowed easing off the boat and onto the pier.

“What aboutthis one?” he asked pointing at one that Derek wasn’t even sure how it came tobe in his possession. It was just one of those things that showed up in hisboxes between one of his many moves, and he’d kept it because the quote kind ofspoke to him.

“It says ‘theregoes the last fuck I gave.’”

The mermanfrowned, smooth brow furrowing in confusion. “What’s a fuck?”

“Uh, in thiscontext its…an element of caring. It means you don’t care anymore. At all.”

“I see,” themerman said plucking it up from the pier. “I like your things.”

“I noticedsince you’ve taken a lot.”

The mermansmiled at him, sharp teeth peeking out from behind pale lips. “You shouldn’tleave it laying about then,” he said. “If you don’t want it taken.”

And beforeDerek could reply he slid a shot glass between his teeth, snatched an objectoff the pier, and dove back into the water slapping the surface with his tailas he did so to send a wave up over the pier leaving Derek drenched andsputtering.

*

Father would beso disappointed, Stiles thought as his head broke the surface of the harbor.Beasty wasn’t on his boat today and there wasn’t a collection of odd itemscluttering the pier. In fact, the only thing on the pier was Beasty with hisshoes off, pants rolled up to his knees, and feet kicking gently back in thewater as he stared out across the horizon.

Stiles had keptaway as long as he could after Beasty had first seen him and their secondinteraction had left him craving more. He crept over to the pier, surfacingagain behind Beasty and hoisting himself up lifting his tail out of the watercarefully. He tried to do it quietly but, well, water and fins.

Beasty nearlyfell of the pier as he spun around just barely managing to keep his balance onthe edge. Stiles grinned and thumped his tail against the pier causing itbounce erratically and dump poor Beasty right into the water with a squawk andflailing limbs. He resurfaced a few seconds later sputtering and spitting waterout of his mouth as he glared up at Stiles.

“What thehell?” he snapped scrambling back onto the pier and looking quite ridiculous.Stiles didn’t know why exactly, but unlike merfolk landdwellers looked patheticwhen they were soaked. “Do you enjoy ruining my stuff?”

Stiles cockedhis head to the side. “I haven’t ruined any of your stuff,” he argued. Surehe’d taken a lot of stuff, like, a lot but he could bring it all back if hewanted. He didn’t.  

“Really? Whatabout my wallet or my keys or my phone?” Beasty said shaking his head so waterdroplets rained down on Stiles.  

“Phone?” heechoed confused.

Beasty pausedthen held his hands out about six inches apart. “Little rectangle with a smoothside wrapped in red plastic. Has a round button the bottom. You might have seenme holding it to my ear and yelling in it.”

“Ah, of course.The magic brick,” Stiles said remembering the most interesting of objects he’dtaken. It was the only one he and no one else had recognized. “You know itstopped working once I took it.”

“Yes,” Beastysaid dryly sounding amused again. “Probably because it’s not made to workunderwater.”

“Then it wasn’tvery well made,” Stiles replied with a sharp grin because seriously why wouldsomething be made to purposefully not function under water. “Now was it?”

Beasty sighed,running a hand through his wet hair and settling down nearer to Stiles on thepier. He stuck his feet back in the water without bothering to fix the one pantleg that had fallen down. “My name is Derek,” he said after a moment. “Ifigured that even though you stole my wallet you couldn’t read my license.”

Derek, Stilesthought mulling the name over. Derek. It was a nice name. Strong. It suited theman. He had no idea what a license was, wished suddenly that he’d broughtBeasty’s wallet along so he could have the name pointed out to him.

“Here,” Beastysaid jogging Stiles from his thoughts. Stiles looked down surprised to see aninteresting object in Beasty’s hand. It was small sitting nestled in Beasty’spalm. There was a clear sphere with a fish inside attached to a base with morelandwalker lettering on it. Stiles picked it up turning it around forinspection as he tried to figure it out.

“What is it?”

“It’s a snowglobe.”

Stiles noddedcommitting the name to memory as he shook it and watched the little whiteflakes flutter around the orange and white striped fish. “And this fish inside?I know the name in my language but what do you call it?”

Beasty clearedhis throat. “Uh, it’s a clown fish.”

“You know thisisn’t as much fun if you just hand things to me,” Stiles said even as hewrapped his fingers around the item.

Beasty just shrugged.

“Derek,” hesaid trying the name out for the first but hopefully not the last time, “thisis the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

*

The water wasfreezing as it beat against him, choppy as waves rolled around the two of them.It was the dead of night but the moon and stars were bright making it all tooeasy to make out Stiles’ features. The smooth expanse of his skin glisteningwet with ocean water and illuminated by starlight. Once again Derek foundhimself breathless as he stared at the beautiful creature before him. The firsttime Derek had seen Stiles he wouldn’t have used those words.

Intriguing.Sleek. Captivating.

But notbeautiful. No, that had come later.

“Do you trust me, Derek?”

Derek spit outmore water, kicking his feet to keep treading water with some difficulty as thewaves rolled around them. “Not at all,” he replied and Stiles laughed, thesound just as musical to Derek’s ears now as the first time he’d heard it allthose months ago.

“Remember,”Stiles said bracketing his hands on either side of Derek’s face. Stiles’ skinwas cool, fingers long enough to nearly wrap entirely around his head, andDerek shivered as Stiles stroked his thumbs along Derek’s cheekbones. “Don’thold your breath. And don’t let go.”

Derek pulledStiles closer, wrapping his arms around Stiles’ waist and letting the powerfulmotions of his tail keep them both afloat as he whispered, “I won’t.”

Stiles grinnedat him, eyes bright and mischievous, near mesmerizing as they reflected thestars from the sky and water all around them. “Are you ready?”

Throat too tightto reply with anticipation, Derek simply nodded, heart beating double time inhis chest as Stiles’ impish grin softened into something fond and sweet as heleaned in. His lips sealed over Derek’s, cool and exhilarating, echoed momentslater by the water that closed over their heads.