#i swear im still working on metal & stone lol

[panic-flavored]

I accidentally drew a fanfic idea before I've even started the fanfic.... it got a little out of hand

Anyway here's some stobotnik on a government mandated vacation ❤️ 💜 (feat. the Wachowskis trying and failing to have a peaceful honeymoon)

[dragonstoravens]

Babylon Vol. 1: I’m an Idiot but At Least I’m Fun

[ID: a blue patterned banner with text reading “BABYLON.” End ID.]

BIG CW for this one: Blood, mild body horror.

(Totally ran out of time to post this yesterday, so here we are a day late again! For the 2/3 people that actually see this on tumblr lol. Just one chapter, and not a mega long one, but be safe while reading and feel free to message me for a summary or sections to skip if you’re worried about the content warnings. Hope you enjoy!)

Taglist (ask to be added or removed!): @charlottedotexe @glitterandstarshine @rainbowcoloreddays @the-starlight-chills @erased-in-stone

General: @elywritesbydarkness @residentofthedisc @humour-and-hyperfocus @skyfirewrites @viawrites-andacts

16. I’m An Idiot But At Least I’m Fun 

    There was a steady dripping from the edge of the table she sat on. Azure sighed and then held her breath, digging the scalpel into her arm once more. She’d missed the intended node once already, and this was getting a little dicey. It crossed her mind that she really should consider an assistant for when she did her more complex updates, but then she’d have to deal with their concern for her wellbeing and that really only ever did more harm than good for her efficiency. A twinge of pain shot up from her elbow, and she reached behind her to carelessly flip a switch on a box wired to her ankle by about four yards of copper wire. The pain subsided, and she set the scalpel down in exchange for a pair of forceps. Time to dig. The dripping continued, blood running onto the ground and towards her workshop drain. She paid it no mind. She’d eat a cookie later. 

    But still, something burned at the back of her mind. She looked at the clock on her monitor, brow furrowed as she wiped a bloody gloved hand on her shirt. She was forgetting something. The faulty node was still blinking beneath all the blood, taunting her. Suddenly, a spurt of blood crossed the room, and some wiring escaped her arm, snaking slowly out of her open incision. She grit her teeth. That was never a fun feeling, blood-warmed metal exiting her body. “Fuck, oh, goddamn it-” Another spurt of blood, this one dripping down her arm and to the ground even though she had her free hand clamped around it. She grumbled low in her throat, words coming through the forceps she now held between her teeth. “Sonofabitch, I swear everytime I try-”

    “Bluemom, You have a visitor.” Her floating personal assistant bot, Bean, hovered over to her, his front display reading out her current rate of blood loss and the time. “He had an appointment.”

    “I don’t recall my brother or Turq or even Smalls needin’ appointments to see me. Just send ‘im in, whoever he is he’s seen worse I’m sure.” She waved the bot off and he hovered away, whistling his customary exit tune. She used the hand on her currently bleeding arm to open a drawer and rummage through its contents. “Gauze, gauze, gauze….”

    The door slid open, and a voice, not that of any of her shipmates and yet all too familiar, said, “Jesus.” 

    “Your Three O’Clock is here!” Chirped Bean. “Trinity Jericho has arrived.”

    She looked up to see Trinity standing in the doorway, hands on his hips. She could practically see the loading screen behind his eyes as his brain searched its databanks for an appropriate reaction or facial expression in response to the bizarre scene in front of him.

    She was a mess, blood running down her arm and all over her white tank top, a spare coil of fine wire hanging around the shell of her ear. A strange contraption was slithering its way out of her wound, the inside of her elbow flayed open. She’d have blushed in embarrassment, but she couldn’t really spare the blood, so she settled on smiling sheepishly. “Oh, uh, hey?”  More blood, this time escaping her fingers and splattering weakly at her feet. “...I’ve got gloves in that drawer right there behind you, would you mind helpin’ me for a quick sec? My hands are occupied right now.” Her tone was conversational, as though she was asking him to grab something from a fridge as opposed to putting on gloves to shove wires back up into her bicep. She continued using her lacerated arm to dig for gauze, blood dripping from her elbow and onto her bare feet.

Rather than figure out how to react, it looked like Trinity had decided not to react at all. His face was exceedingly casual, save for his slightly raised eyebrows, as he went over to the desk and removed the gloves, pulling them on. “Should I even ask?”

Something between a human laugh and a pig snort left her mouth. “Only if it’s necessary. I think I just nicked a vein. I’m more concerned with these connectors, they’re not supposed to be connected this loosely, which means they really shouldn’t be hangin’ out my arm like a hound dog out a pickup truck window.”

“Just nicked a vein,” Trinity mimicked, affecting a higher pitched southern drawl that combined with the slight disbelieving tone to his voice. “Ok. Ok, you’re completely insane, and probably only partially from blood loss. Now, tell me what to do.” He turned his attention to the wires, examining them closely with an expression that rivaled his focus when looking at a particularly interesting problem in one of his own production lines. “I think I see the basics of what’s going on here, but you’d know best.”

“It’s just the coolin’ lines, they kinda just gotta be-Oh!” She pulled a roll of gauze and some medigel from the drawer she’d been digging in. “Found ‘em.” She looked back up at him, arm stretched out, still applying pressure. “I’m not insane until I lose a full liter, by the way. We’re not even a quarter of the way there. They’re just coolin’ lines, you can just shove ‘em back in. I’d have done it already if I didn’t need to keep my blood in my body.” The cooling lines glowed a faint purple and continued to slowly snake their way out. She beheld her own mess with interest for a moment, puzzling something out. “Wonder if I could…”

“Let’s save that little curiosity journey for later, yes?” he interrupted, just the slightest hint of panic creeping into his tone that stopped short whatever she’d been about to come up with. “Maybe best to explore all the other experiments you could run on yourself when you’re not already bleeding all over the floor.” He started pushing the wires back into her arm, probably more gently than she would have done herself. “And, for the record, you’re insane with all your blood in your body. But I’m sure you know that already.”

“It’s what makes me fun!” Her irreverence for her own safety could almost be seen as endearing, if it wasn’t so dangerous. She grabbed a spray bottle marked ‘alcohol’ in big red letters, a roll of duct tape on her wrist. “Here, put pressure on it once it’s all in there, I’ll secure it back down later. Musculature will hold it for now.” She put the spray top of the bottle of alcohol between her teeth and bit down, twisting to remove it and dumping some of the contents over the open wound, no sign of a grimace. “Quickly dude, or we’re gonna be covered in blood. My heart’s still beatin’. God this would be so much easier if my limbs were detachable.”

Trinity almost said wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been covered in blood, or detachable limbs are another thing we don’t want to explore right now, but he was a little too busy to worry about snappy comebacks. He got some disinfectant a little more directly to the wound by covering a bandage in medigel, and set to work sealing the edges together temporarily with glue that he knew should work like stitches. The alcohol had luckily done the double job of cleaning away the excess blood, so all he had to do was swipe away the fresh blood that had just welled from it with a piece of gauze and apply the bandage. On top of it he folded a few more pieces of gauze for extra pressure, and he secured the whole thing with medical tape. It was quick, but rather well done for a rush job nonetheless. Azzy blinked at the result.

“Oh, I was gonna slam some gauze and medigel in there and throw some duct tape over it but that works too.”

“I know that’s what you were going to do, which is exactly why I didn’t do it. Might as well make use of an extra pair of hands.” Said hands, though gloved, were a bit of a bloody mess now, and he walked over to a sink with a bin for biohazard disposal to clean up. “Luckily I know something about cybernetics and first aid. I know you do too.” Unspoken was the implication that not everyone did-- that most people would probably freeze up or panic at such a sight. Beneath even that lay certainty that she did this often. Despite his jokes about her being insane, she’d been perfectly calm. This maybe wasn’t how all her repairs went, with the blood and all, but it wasn’t a surprise, either. He thought maybe that should scare him, but instead he simply accepted it as fact. What else could he do?

“Can’t see how it matters too much, can’t avoid the scarrin’ anyway. Thanks, though.” she looked up at him with that same lopsided smile before bending her arm a couple times. “I forgot you were comin’, lemme get this shit cleaned up and we’ll get that maintenance outta the way.”

He shrugged as he finished washing his own hands and disposing of the gloves, and started to help her clean up. “Scars, those don’t matter. Everyone has them, visible or not, you don’t make it far in life without them. But in this kind of world… I think you might as well save yourself a little pain and danger any time you have the chance.” There was an honesty in his voice that drew her attention, but he was facing away from her. He cleared his throat awkwardly and turned with a crooked grin. “So, what nefarious plans do you have for my eye today?”

She was already across the room in front of a pair of doors, arms crossed over her front to pull her shirt up and over her head. She was facing away from him, her back tan and striped with thin white scars all the way up her spine, ending in one final splintering burst at the base of her neck. Barely visible at this distance was the white ink tattooed across her back to make the whole mess look like a dandelion puff. The shirt fell to the ground with a wet flop as she hit a button to open a closet full of more white tank tops, these ones pristine. Her hands were clean already. “S’not like I feel it anyway, that’s what the ankle wire’s for.” She grabbed a shirt and tugged it over her head, fixing her beanie as she turned to face him again and grabbed a mop from the corner. 

“Ankle wire?” He glanced down, mechanical pieces fitting together behind his eyes. “Of course. You electrocute your nerve endings to suppress pain. Makes perfect sense.” Was she imagining the tiny edge to his voice? “And to think you lectured me before about the external charging I was doing. Don’t you ever worry you’ll fry them, go numb permanently? Although…” He shook his head, the joking tone back to his voice. “Never mind, you could probably fix that if it happened, anyway.” 

Azzy began cleaning, ignoring the edge to his voice. This was why she never let anyone assist with her cybernetic self experimentation. This, and the process of the reset. She let herself sound cocky. "Of course I could fix it. Anyway, I have an update for the cooler, so it'll adjust with your body temp, like a real eye. Good for if someone's lookin' atcha with thermal imagin'." She hit a button and hopped onto a counter, the edges of the floor beginning to flood slightly with water. "I also thought maybe I'd upload this real spicy book I read last week to it, in case you get bored. You’ll love it." She snorted, unable to keep a straight face.

He laughed quietly along as he lifted himself onto the counter next to her. It was odd-- even through genuine humor he was looking at her like he was considering something, searching her for the answer to some unspoken puzzle. He let his gaze wander again just before the point where consideration became outright staring. “Feel free. That thermal imaging sounds like a great idea.”

The floor was done flooding, washing the remaining blood down a drain in the center of the room. She hopped back down, crossing the room and grabbing her boots off a shelf. Can't mess with people's eyes with your bare feet just out and around. She looked up from her feet with a curious expression, like he'd given her a brain teaser. "What was that look? You were thinkin' about somethin', and it's almost definitely not the alien erotica I'm puttin' in your peeper as soon as the standard tune up is done."

He shrugged. “I’ll tell you later. There’s some research I want to do first.” He slid off the counter. “First things first, heat regulation and alien erotica.”

"Don't have to tell me twice. Get on the table, I'll get the hookups. Pop that sucker out too, I need to check the retina." She pulled a clean pair of gloves on, snapping the cuff against her wrist. The sensation ricocheted up her arm. Her elbow and wound sparked. Her freshly patched arm swung out of its own volition, landing squarely on Trinity’s backside. Azure blinked, tips of her ears turning bright scarlet as her mouth twitched. “Oops.”

Trinity turned to look at her and blinked bemusedly. “...Getting an early start on the erotica part?” he quipped, but his already pink cheeks flushed darker as he spoke.

Azure giggled in response, pulling her arm back the moment she realized she’d left it there in shock. “Sorry. The node’s been misfirin’, if I hadn’t missed the incision point I’d have replaced and calibrated it by now, my bad.” Her eyes flickered briefly downwards and then immediately to her desk, smirking as she rolled her shoulder and shook her hand to get out any further bursts. “...Glad to know you don’t skip your squats. It’s a nice ass, now that I’m lookin’ at it instead of the wires in my arm.”

“A misfire, sure.” Trinity smirked back. It was easy to tell she was being serious about the misfire-- a lie would have come with a lot more stammering and awkward pauses-- but it was a prime opportunity to tease his friend that he wasn’t about to miss. “Your powers of observation are astonishing. Here.” He popped out the cybernetic eye, deceptively simple looking detached from its complex inner workings. He grinned, and tossed it lightly in one hand, waiting for her to turn back to face him. “Catch.”

She held a jar of fluid for his eye in her hand already as she turned, brow raised. As she faced him, he smirked and tossed the eye towards her, an easy to intercept underhand throw. “Ohfuck-” Snatching it out of the air and setting it gently in the jar, she pouted at him. “Dude, I’m not makin’ you another one if that one breaks.”

“You didn’t make the first one.” He smiled. “It’s fine, I knew you’d catch my eye.”

She stared at him blankly for a moment, then set the jar down and cracked a smile, some small hint of a blush on her cheeks. “Very funny Hotshot, well done. Don’t throw your fuckin’ organs.” Digging out a small monitor and some wires, she glanced over her shoulder with a smirk. “I’m sure all the girls tell you that though, right?”

He scoffed, amused at the idea of the women at the events he attended saying anything about organs out loud. “Just you. It’s a bit of an honor, really.” 

“Flatterer. Don’t think I don’t know about your eight illicit rendezvous with five women in the last two days. Sara Mitchell told me all about them last time.” She rolled her eyes and stood, handing him the bundle of tech and tugging at his shirt collar to plug something into his port. “They’re tryin’ harder every time, I swear. I can see why you wanted the backup more ‘n more, I can’t imagine how you got anythin’ done at those things.”

“Mostly by ignoring anyone I didn’t want something from,” Trinity replied casually, opening his shirt a few more buttons to let her access his port more easily. The motion revealed those tattoos she’d already noticed a few times before when doing repairs-- the birds in flight, the trinity knot, the wall, the crumbling tower. Again she considered that their placement, so close to bone in most places and with so many heavy black lines and detailed patterns, must’ve really hurt. A phantom pain shot down her own spine in sympathy at the thought.

“Well, I guess that explains it just fine.” She flipped a few switches, monitors whirring to life. “Not very nice, but then again neither is listenin’ to them gripin’ because I won’t tell ‘em your-” She stopped herself, face reddening as she dropped a heartbeat sensor in his lap. A nasal feminine voice replayed in her ear, begging the question how big is it, really? She picked her sentence back up with a rambling vigor, trying her absolute best to drown her own thoughts out. “-current plans. Nasty, all of ‘em. Super nosy. Can’t blame you for ignorin’ it. Wanna put that on your finger? Don’t matter which, any of ‘em are fine, I gotta make sure the readin’s are accurate.” 

He gave her a look like he wanted to question her about the hesitation, though she was certain he had a pretty good idea what the ladies had actually been asking her about. However, he simply quirked an eyebrow in her direction as he slipped the sensor onto his pointer finger.

Face still red, she hooked the eye up to a different wire. Something hummed and buzzed, and she heaved a dramatic sigh. “Sorry, you don’t have enough space for the porn. You have all of it allocated for images and text files made by the unit itself.” She made a few keystrokes and turned, looking at everything but him. “Okay, that’s updatin’. Lemme see your empty eye socket, your nerve is registerin’ some weird readings.”

Trinity turned his face up to hers, exposing the scarred inner socket of his eye. He’d never said what had happened to it, but it didn’t look pleasant. “The optic nerve? It should be fine, it’s totally cybernetic. It’s not degrading again, is it?” There was a hint of nervousness in his voice at the thought.

“It’s probably just one busted cell. It’s still machinery, sometimes parts need to be replaced.” She grabbed a pair of foreceps and clicked them together where he could see with his good eye. “Tell me if you feel this, because you’re definitely not supposed to.” She poked around at the back of his socket. “Anythin’?”

“No. I think your mother poked around in there enough when she was installing it that it won’t feel much ever again.”

“Then your actual nerve past the cybernetic and into your brain is fine, its just a couple of cones tryin’ to be data transmitters.” She poked at something else and made a small noise of triumph. “I’ll have it replaced, shouldn’t be hard. I think I made a couple extras when I was up all night last week.” The foreceps went back to the table and her face reappeared in his line of sight, beaming. “Your whole business is just as busted, but it’s no worse than when you came the first time. Matter of fact, some of the burns from when your eye wasn’t cooled properly have healed pretty well, like they weren’t even there.”

“Oh,” Trinity responded, pleasantly surprised. “Yes, I tried to do some first aid to keep it from scarring the way my leg did when I used to charge my taser externally.” He didn’t meet her eyes, even though he’d only done it a half dozen times, and all long before he’d met her. The second reminder of his own carelessness with his remaining nerves made him feel a bit guilty for sniping at her about her own. “I took the eye out when I could, used some burn creams and medigel, that kind of thing. Anyway, I’m glad to hear that there’s nothing wrong with the organic nerves.”

“Yep, if nerves had feelin’s they’d be happy as hell. Strong impulses, not too much overtime. Whatever took ‘em out the first time, you’re recoverin’ pretty well given that you lost your whole ass eye.” She returned to her computers, hands flying deftly across the keys and screens as she looked for more anomalies. 

“Well, it’s been a couple years at this point. I let it degrade for a while before I sought out your mom, but… it’s good to hear that damage didn’t last.” At least those nerves had recovered. Others hadn’t, but that was going to be the subject of his research for the next few days. Despite what he’d seen earlier when Azzy had been working on her own cybernetics, he trusted her implicitly with his. If anyone could fix his problem, she could.

“It makes sense, the brain doesn’t like leavin’ things so close to it busted. Optic nerve is pretty close.” Her tongue poked out at the corner of her mouth and she squinted at her screen. “....Hey, want a wider zoom on your sensor?”

“Why not? Whatever you think, I trust your judgement.” He leaned back slightly, relaxing, and let her work. She stood quietly for some minutes, occasionally humming a quiet tune that was almost familiar. 

Eventually, she was satisfied with her work. She unhooked his eye from its wires, passing him the jar. “There you go, go ahead ‘n smack that back into its place and you’re all set. Recalibrated it’s temperature sensin’ and the coolin’ system to be a little more sensitive to ambient heat. Don’t go swimmin’ in super cold water, though. Might be a little too ambient for it for now.” She had that same smug look she always did when she was done doing maintenance, eyes bright.

“Of course. Thanks, doc.” He said the last bit with a slight smirk, and popped the eye back into place. It rolled around for a few seconds before settling. “See you at the next event?”

“Only if that guy with the braid’s there, I hear he’s kinda fun.” She took her gloves off and waved him off the table. “Get outta here, I gotta reset my arm.”

“Alright.” He stood, a quick pat on her non-injured shoulder his goodbye. “Be careful of that wound. I bandaged it so well, it would be a shame if you messed up my handiwork.”

“I have three doctorates, of course I’m gonna mess it up.” She gave him a quick pat as well, her smile genuine. “I’ll go easy on it. Bean’ll take you back, careful none of my scary vigilante’s eat ya on the way out.” The small bot hovered over his shoulder, beeping a hello tune.

He grinned, and nodded. “I’ll try to steer clear. Let’s go, Bean.” He followed the little bot from the lab, with one last wave towards Azzy, not looking back. She heaved a sigh and grabbed a wire, connecting it to one of her ports once the door closed behind him. She had a limb to test and reset.

[nad-zeta]

Hi! Just recently followed you and im in love with your blog💙 can i get a matchup for ikesen? Im 21 y/o, gemini sun with scorpio moon, an intp. I am into classical and j-metal/vkei music. I am really shy and awkward when it come to the opposite sex. This also caused me having trouble making eye contact with ppl when talking.Have little to no self esteem. Tend to hide problem to myself. Hmm cant think of anything else 😅 thank you so much in advance 💕

Hi, there love! Awww you are too sweet <3. I’m so glad that you like my content! *blushes*. Thank you so much for the matchup request! I hope you enjoy it and have a good day!

So I match you with................... Hideyoshi 

So, to be honest, I had a hard time deciding between Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide lol, but at the end, I decided Hideyoshi would suit you better <3

It’s evident that that Hideyoshi doesn’t trust you the first time the two of you meet. He is fiercely loyal to Nobunaga, and won’t even hesitate to cut down anyone who threatens his lord. The longer Hideyoshi observes you, the more his mistrust of you grows. He finds you so suspicious, and your actions don’t make sense to him al all. You are a crazy hard worker and can often be found chatting with the maids. But when it comes to him, you completely shut down, you can’t even make eye contact, and it’s as if a cat’s got your tongue. This strange behaviour you demonstrate towards him makes him convinced that you have to be hiding something. During this time, you and Mitsunari actually become good friends, and its Mitsunari who stands up for you whenever Hideyoshi starts throwing accusations your way. One day after the war council, the warlords began gossiping, you know as they do, and you came up as the main topic of interest. Masamune, Mitsuhide and Nobunaga were all saying how much fun you are to tease because of your cute shy demeanor and inability to hold eye contact for more than three seconds. Ieyasu said that he was surprised a weakling like you could work so hard and that you were way too sweet and naïve for your own good. This was when the wheels in Hideyoshi’s head started to turn, and dots started being connected. It wasn’t until Mitsunari said he was proud of you for making so many friends even though, you had said you were so awkward around boys, that the final puzzle piece was put into place in Hideyoshi’s head. Shit, he has treated you with so much hostility.  He was internally kicking himself for not seeing you for the sweet, kind, cute girl that you were sooner.

He was now determined to make it up to you. Even if he as to spend eternally atoning for his rudeness towards you, so be it. He starts by showering you with gifts and sweets. He apologized profusely. The way he is making a scene, you could swear he killed your family or something. You in your own awkward way, try and console the poor man by telling him its okay and that you understood the kind of position he was in. But he wasn’t having it, so instead the two of you found a compromise. You said that you would forgive him if he bought you some tea at the local teahouse.

The next day the two of you walked together to the teahouse but was interrupted halfway on your journey there by Hideyoshi’s fan club. You never realized how loved Hideyoshi was until he was encircled by more than 10 women. They managed to work you out of the inner circle. You couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward and insecure, so you started to walk away. Hideyoshi pushed his way through the gaggle of women trying to catch up to you. He grabbed your hand and asked if you were okay. You just smiled and nodded. Once at the teahouse, he started to probe further about your strange behaviour, and that is when he had found out that your self-esteem was super low. He had made up in his mind at that moment that he was going to slowly start helping you with your self-esteem. The two of you enjoyed your tea and the light conversation that flowed, and it wasn’t before long that your sibling relationship started.

Hideyoshi would dote on you, buying his little sister all sorts of accessories, sweets, and clothes. He would make a point of it to mention how cute you looked whenever he saw you. He, in his free time, would invite you over for some tea or walk around the palace gardens. The two of you could chat for hours about anything and everything. Hideyoshi would always give you comforting head pats and big brother hugs during these meetups.

One day he decided to take you on a hike to his favorite spot to watch the sunset. The two of you stayed there and chatted way past the sun had set, and it was now time to hike back home. Halfway home, you slipped on some loose stones and fell. Hideyoshi helped you up, but once you started walking a sharp pain shot again through your ankle, darn, you must have twisted it. You tried to walk on, hiding the pain as best you could, but nothing escaped the mama bears radar. He knelt in front of you and insisted on giving you a piggyback ride back. *cue you being a blushy mess*. You gentle wrapped your arms around his neck as he lifted you off the ground. You couldn’t help but nuzzle into his neck a little and take in his scent. He smelled like cinnamon and sunshine. Still blushing, you smiled to yourself as you realized between all the meetups and friendly gestures you had fallen for Hideyoshi. You took a deep breath and tried to push your feeling down and shut them off, realizing that he only saw you as his dearest little sister. You couldn’t help but feel a bit heartbroken at the realization.

In the days to follow, you couldn’t help but feel a bit sad at your one-sided love. One night your mind just refused to turn off, so you decided to take a little walk in the garden. You found a bench and took a seat, staring up at the stars. That is when a small tear managed to slip from the corner of your eye. Mitsuhide spotted you sitting by your lonesome self and thought this the perfect opportunity to tease his favorite little mouse. Before he could get a word out, he saw the small tear stain on the side of your cheek. He gave you his signature smile and asked you what has been troubling you. You were reluctant at first, but you had come to become good friends with this sneaky snek and knew deep down past all the teasing, he was kind and gentle. He knew you tended to keep your problems bottled up, so he patiently waited for you to open up about the situation at hand. You told him about how much you loved Hideyoshi and how much it hurt that you have been sister zoned. The kitsune just sat there quietly listening to you, and now and then gave you a few reassuring head pats. He walked you back to your room after making sure you felt a little better and promptly made his way to Hideyoshi’s manor.

He confronted Hideyoshi because he knew that the foolish monkey felt the same way as you did. He scolded Hideyoshi and ended off the conversation by saying, “if you don’t confess your true feelings to the little mouse soon, I will take the sweet little thing for myself. It certainly does seem like; I, too, have taken quite a liking to her. And trust me when I say that if that were to happen, you, my dear old friend, will be left with nothing but regret for what could have been”. After that, Mitsuhide turned heel and left.

Hideyoshi wasted no time confessing his true feeling to you after that night. The two of you loved each other dearly, would often leave little notes around for the other to find reminding each other of your love. In Hideyoshi’s free time, you guys would often drink tea and play with Yoshi’s little pet monkey. Hideyoshi was your rock in the stormy sea of life. He was your own personal cheerleader and would support you in everything and anything you did. He loved how you would blush and look away, trying to hide your face every time he would kiss your cheek or forehead. The two of you could often be found snuggled up together just enjoying the others company and presence.

Other potential matches…………Mitsuhide

I hope you enjoyed it love! 

[alissabila]

[1] 4 sept - self journal

The day started just about as normal as usual, woke up late, had a shower race, came up to class late without forgetting to show exhaustion while the day just even started. And yes that's my kind of normal. I don't know how to describe my day again but everything went very similar like any other day. Maybe the interesting part was the cultural landscape preservation subject, we discussed about the legal aspects of cultural heritage, the unesco and regulations stuffs, it was always interesting when it comes to united nations but legal aspect was never been in my concern.

Talking about my mood today, lately i've been feeling very empty and lost. I'm not trying to be hyperbolic but lately it feels like im drowning in the thick black sea where the oil has leaked, and the water is slimy and oily (maybe?) and you can't breathe as the black oil got into your mouth and started filling your throat then probably your lung and all happend while you drowning. You can't do nothing and you're being eaten up. It's not a new feeling. I've been here. So many times. Yet i still don't know how do i deal with it. I was just "and yep here we go again, this phase again". In the current moment, i have a lot to do, like real lots. Let's do a recall to every places I put myself into: AIESEC, TEDXIPB, Faculty competition, Himpro, uncountable amount of landscape tasks, and many other things that should be done but I didn't keep it in mind. This phase had taken me to the highest level of not being productive. I completely conscious about my responsibility, that i already in the best platform i could have, but IT'S JUST STOPPED ME LIKE THAT. I JUST COULDN'T DO IT AND IT DIDN'T NEED ANY PRECISE REASON. I hate that i had to say that i don't feel alive.

Long classes and time passed, i skipped short film competition session, like i said before, i just couldnt do it. And i really mean it. Out of nowhere, i didnt remember how it happened, but i ended sitting with Abi and started to talk about everything, in literal meaning. Everything. Then he just randomly shouted "NGOPI YUUK" without even really proposing. But i was like, yes lets go now please its been a long time since my last caffeine. And we agreed to try the new coffeeshop behind the campus, it seems interesting because the landform is hilly and the coffeeshop is in the down so you could only see the parking lot from the road. Who knew they had marijuana plantation down there? Lol ok kidding its haram.

We took our laptops, in case we had the drive to finish our site plan task and just go without hesitation. I always been wondering how the coffeeshop looks like because it's pretty much in remote area i might say? Well i didn't expect much actually, then again it's only Dramaga how good can it be? (I am truly sorry for the deprecation i swear the next paragraph would be filled with praise)

As I said before, it had this 'not very normal land contour', we needed to go down a very steep road to reach the parking lot. Next, there was a small wooden gate, very traditional and there our feet started to walk down the ramp, it was pretty steep for a ramp but they had this natural stones with much textures so it didnt feel slippery. Down and down and down, we walked to a small path with very natural and organic shaped stone, they didnt really make it as a strict lined path that has all the stones to step along the path, and they didnt really cut the vegetations around no matter how wild and messy it is. And i found this really good. Along the stone path, i could see the view of a green space with some industrial table and chair. On the right side, there set a small traditional wooden terrace, with it's coffee roasting machine, industrial chairs again (you know that type of metal chair), some really retro chair as well really retro colors, some coffee tables were a recycled sewing machine wow so you got to play with the pedal HAHA. fun fun thing. Before reaching the coffeshop area, you would find this mini pedestrian bridge crossing a small water stream. All i could say all of these are beyond expectation, i really love what i'm seeing. Other thing that amused me was, the river was just next to all of it and i really loved the sound of water it always gave me calm I couldn't have from anything. They had this backyard of traditional house feelings and yet they served natural landscape scene. I could smell the wet grass, I could smell the wooden house construction, I could smell the coffee being roasted, I could see how they managed to not destroy the existing landscape as much as they can, I could hear the water having it's rhythm, and I could hear all these people having an intimate discussion, and all i could think is all my senses had been blessed. They also had this vintage shelf with vintage things, that vintage metal coffee cups, bamboo walled toilets, aaaa im in love with everything here it's like the owner really put his soul into this. At some point i felt grateful for this place, and by that i felt alive again at least for this moment. This could be my very short escape from all the dullness in life (I'm really trying not to be hyperbolic but I am who I am). One thing i also realized was; to be grateful, it doesn't have to be ourself as the main character in it, it doesn't have to be our destiny, and it doesn't have to be our story. One serene coffeeshop could make it work,and other peculiar thing also could work, maybe we just need to be more detail to what's around us. This place reminded me a lot of Bandung. Which I also very grateful, now i can get Bandung vibes in hand. As the night came, the place got more quiet that it enhanced the sound of the river, added by the frog sounds and the buzz of night insects. This night was cold but somehow what surrounds me, the yellowish lighting, all the chit chat with Abi, gave me warmth. Cold night with a warm heart.

Shitty stuff still happened tho, it took forever for my laptop to install the autocad and i couldn't find the keygen for cracking the app because my brokeass couldn't afford the legal one. I decided to continue my read on Haruki Murakami's Kafka on the Shore. It's my second book of Murakami. It's only been chapter two but i already highlighted a lot haha. To end this very first self journal, I would present my today's favorite quote from Kafka on the Shore. Ciao.

"Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine."

[thegeminisage]

today’s zeldablogging, big big huge very much spoilers everywhere:

WHERE DO I EVEN GO FIRST there is. so Much

out towards the ocean, i suppose...i see a shrine, and something else glowing that could be a settlement or lava or even a great fairy, and there are those islands to think about

GOD IT'S A COMBAT SHRINE a minor test of strenth okay okay i can do this

oh pffft that was easy

and i got...a giant ancient core, which sounds nice but probably won't let me upgrade my rune

how come the bokoblins can use bomb arrows in the rain and i can't?!

OH MY GOD....

first skeleton bokoblins, then skeleton lizalfos, and now skeleton moblins?!?!

wish i had marked that other glowing thing with a pin...i can't find it now lol

and i am at the islands!! man these bridges sure are tiny and high up

all this climbing i want to do and its about to rain :/

oh good. more flying guardians :|im trapped on top of this island in the middle of a lightning storm in the night besieged by moblin skeletons and keese swarms and my only non-metallic weapon is a korok leaf smh

mkay i am All Done with the islands im gonna warp back to the tower and mark the glowy thing this time

oh they just look like mushrooms?? well i'll go pick them i guess

OH OMG IT'S A FAIRY FOUNTAIN SKDFGH YES!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!

only 500...but i know it gets worse :| im saving up

oh this one is blue!! how pretty

haha i still think they look more like mermaids...can't see their legs and they pop up outta water :3

OMG I SEE THE FIRE DRAGON

THE DIN ONE

IN THE DISTANCE AAAAH!!!!

so far away ;u;

i can't even take a good picture!!!!

oh no

oh NO

skeleton moblins...and now a skeleton hinox ;___;

...skeletons only take two hits. im gonna go fight it

omg the hinox fight music plays nooooo rip m having eventide flashbacks

oh my god! wow! okay! this one takes more than two hits!!

it's lightning too i can't even use my bomb arrows what did i get myself into........

OMFG HE IS TEARING OFF HIS OWN RIBS TO THROW AT ME LSKDJFHG

oh the lightning is a hinox thing. Great i only have metal weapons rn

aaaand he ran away with the dawn. ok

oh dude this shrine is cool you have to like play putt putt golf hahaha

OMG IM GOING TO CRY

i found another memory and it's of zelda saying she's prayed all her life like her father wanted and she still can't make the gods hear her......im so sad for her

there's nothing wrong with you my sweet daughter!!!!

this is cool tho the talk of her father and mother and grandmother and link's father

they have families and lives, it's so neat, i wish i knew more about them

tho ofc almost everyone who knew and loved link is long dead now......

ah. i paraglided her, but

to get out i have to bypass all these flying guardians. Great

NO SKDFGJH ONE SAW ME

so its laser grazed me and only took one heart and i was like thats it?! i'll fight you!!

then i got hit directly and it nearly killed me so now im running

NOOOO THERE'S A LYNEL HERE JESUS GOD

I JUST WANTED TO GET TO THE SHRINE AND I RAN RIGHT INTO HIM SDLFGJH

god and a blue hinox in the way too Why

omg i unlocked a monster shop lskjghf now i will see him in villages at night!!!

ah the shrine is on top of this huge rock pillar, how do i...?

maybe i can glide from a nearby cliff!!

okay...okay...it's not sheer rock, there must be resting places, if i glide form here maybe i can do it

i can't glide from where i'd like bc of the hinox (:

I MADE IT

they better not make me solve a fucking puzzle too

ah good they didn;t

FLAMEBLADE thats so badass

oh god another blue lynel

maybe it's even the same one

my dude i just wanna travel....i promise, i promise

FINALLY the akkala research lab!!!

dude better have some sick duds or something for me i swear to god

the music in here is lit i love it

uh

there's a...blue glowing statue

looks like something out of the tower of the gods awww

haha it's damaged! poor thing

this old man like "show me the wounds on your body you suffered" bro are you asking me to strip

oh my gOD his electric guitar pose thing

jesus chrkjrgh

EVERYONE IN THIS GAME IS A GIANT HAM

im doing a quest where you have to carry fire

AND IT STARTS RAINING

this game has made me LOATHE rain! i thought that was impossible and yet!!!!!

im running out of map stamps :/ why would you give me a world this big and limit me to only 100...?

aaaand it's raining

and my ONLY TORCH BROKE god i keep accidentally using it to hit things!!!

FINALLY i did it!!!!! god that was so tedious

oh my god this guy could make me such amazing gear, but i don't have the materials </3

now to check out this maze building it looks super weird and i can see a shrine in it......

how the fuck are you even supposed to get there i hope my glider can take me

lovely. the wind's blowing against me and i see flying guardians from here

noooo they're EVERYWHERE and i have to do a MAZE oh my god

i can solve it on my map and mark the dead end routes, fortunately

i still kind of want to explore those routes lol

oh they're so bare......maybe not

if i miss something like a korok seed or whatever a guide will direct me back here later

or...maybe not

i mean im next to the shrine but it's surrouned on all sides by wall?

bet it's too tall to climb even with potions and my gear

ooh or if it isn't those lfying guardians will fuck me up in a snap

YES i got lucky and found my way in from the top

or no i found...a sword, great, how do i get into the SHRINE

YES here it is

dude i got an ATK+ helmet!! i got GEAR!!!! YES

AAAAH I GOT ATTACKED AS SOON AS I GOT OUT

nope fuck this im fast traveling. goodbye forever, maze island

geez i guess that must be nearly it for this province then i got one shrine left i think and then i could........go to death mountain?

tbh kinda tempted to go back down to lake hylia but i'll pass for now, i want more Plot

i suppose i didn't do akkala beach but it's small and remote so i'm ok with that for now - i can clean up the endgame stuff later when better guides are out

there's a stable next to this shrine!! yay!!!!!!

omg there's a goron here!!!!! hi!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally hit 10k rupees

ooh this guy is talking about a legendary sword...GIMME MY MASTER SWORD

tbh i'll be disappointed if there's no special quest to get it tho like you just...find it? kinda weak

AAAH I CAN CHANGE MANES HERE........jemma has a floral mane now ;w;

too bad i didn't find this before, i can't ride her up death mountain, unfortunately - it's so much faster to fast travel, and she might get hurt, and i'll have to get on and off of her so much... ):

oh wait, i haven't explored the lake yet! i forgot! i can take her there <3

all the guardians here scared the shit out of me but they arent functional, thank god

NO FUCK THERE ABSOLUTELY IS A LIVE GUARDIAN HERE.....fuck fuck i can't KILL them

omg no i see TWO of them

if it was just one i might try my luck, but...no way

i'm sure in the future i'll be able to get more guardian arrows but right now i have, like, 4? so i can't waste them

and when i have the guardian armor that'll help too but. not Now

aaah i found somsone whose ancestors died at that tower...apparently the last stand was made there at what used to be the fortress after the castle fell ;_; and he wanted to pray there but it's too dangerous and i am AD oh my god

i can see the death mountain tower and a shrine from the akkala tower, but i can only reach the shrine by gliding. the tower is surrounded by (UGH) snow

lol the shrine is by a stable too

AAAH kass is here!!!!!!

AWWW he said the song he's playing was used by the ancient hero to call his horse!! gonna cry omg

bro lmao there's an ostrich running around here what kinda shenanigans

oh my god this dried lava under the tower is SO COOL it's so BIG and i feel so SMALL

ah, eldin tower - so this is the eldin province

wow the first stops are quite a ways up on this one! lucky i have so much stamina

ooooh my gosh the eldin map is HUGE and FULL OF LAVA im not sure im Prepared for this!!!

lol in a fun twist the temperature gets HOTTER as i gain altitude. ohhh man

i guess...i wanna do plot. i'll try to make it to goron city, and come back and explore later

when i have more fireproof elixirs lol rn my inventory is packed so i could only buy 3

oh my god i can't use wooden weapons, my arrows turn into fire arrows as soon as i get them out, even the loot will catch fire if you leave it too long, this is Intense

OH MY GOD A STONE TALUS BUT IT'S LIKE, MAGMA-Y

okay this is cool i wish i hadn't waited so long

lmao i accidentally drank a defense elixir and erased my fireproofness early OOPS

omg you can't use bomb arrows either dkgjhdfg the heat makes them explode instantly

unfortunately the only thing that makes a dent is ice arrows and i just don't have enough rn....BUT I WILL RETURN god that is so cool okay anyway

all right......i really like this region. normally i'm a water person, ESPECIALLY in zelda games, but rain and lightning have been nothing but a pain in my ass since i started playing. maybe i was ready for some #Heat

HA there's the fucking blood moon good thing i DIDN'T kill him it would have been erased right after

the blood moon looks kinda cool when the air is already like this tbh but i still hate it

like on a gameplay/story integration level it's a cool way to explain monsters coming back

but also im angry on behalf of hylians and everyone else like

no matter how hard they fight every month it comes back, it's all in vain

the music here is super cool, also

omg i found a little camp of gorons!!

ooh, a hylian...and he'll give me fireproof armor for lizards OOOO:

hahahaha...they can't dig up ore because of a lizard monster

my heart twisted, fondly

geez i wish i had time to catch some lizards...........

i caught a few but not 10, and i only have one elixir left, since i used one early. i guess if it comes to it i could try to make another but

YES okay i did it!! good

and armor i now have!!

altho i hope i don't run out of armor inventory space that would SUCK what with all the work that goes into collecting and upgrading it tbh

LOL i hit an emu or ostrich or whatever it is and the meat it dropped immediately became roasted oh my god

HOLY FUCK THE MOUNTAIN IS ERUPTING

NOW THIS SHIT BRINGS BACK MEMORIES OH MY GOD

running for cover!!!! almost dying!!!!!!!!! good times im so happy

it's like getting to do it the very first time all over again

oh my god i just got a divine beast cutscene as i got to goron city i am quaking in my boots it is SO BIG

and now i'm out almost 3k rupees but i have full fireproof armor!

oh my god you can get a goron massage at the inn

"it doesn't hurt a bit" yeah i bet

[cue lots of screaming]

omg theres a gerudo lady sleeping here!! are you not on fire?!?!

SO IS PAINTER DUDE...?

omg they must have elixirs ldfjkgh

"abandoned mine - do not stray from path! both literally and figuratively" slkdfjgh what does that MEAN...

aw, they sleep on beds of hoat coals

man this shrine im doing is so complex!! like many multiple rooms, it's neat

i got like 9 orbs now i need to find somehwere to trade them in

omg so im lookin for the goron who went to get the stuff out of the vault and HE'S TALKING IT'S SO WEIRD it still always shocks me

how do i..? my bombs don;t work, so

OH OMG I CAN USE THE CANONS i thought maybe you had to wait for permission lol

poor goron he's scared and trembling...haha just like the ones in the fire temple. bye

HE TALKED IN HIS OPENING CUTSCENE...IM SO GLAD

yunobo! aww he's precious i love him

i suspect this is the area where i'll have to get inside the divine beast tbh bc of all the cannons

lol almost yped it with one n. shh

the embers here are so pretty...next time i paint hotland i'll remember them

i wanna paint THIS, tbh

like, anything. from this game. god Damn

ooooh a daruk statue

omg IM GETTING A MEMORY YES!!!!!!

I LOVE HIM

I LOVE DARUK

WHO PATS BACKS TOO HARD AND PUNCHES OUT ROCKS

oh my god he had the same kind of barrier that yunobo put up around himself are they related!!!! im gonna cry i love them so much

yep hahahaha the next words out of boss's mouth!

oooh he has the blessing, that's what the barrier is

yunobo's at eldin bridge...? that's MILES away

OH!!! omg my brother reminded me there are two in tp hahahaha so i guess i got them mixed up

so where is eldin's bridge actually......

too bad i cant swim up lavafalls lol

i found a minecart and put it on the track but bombs dont make it go and i can't magnesis it when its under my feet??

AHA, STASIS

okay that was super fun but i hate beating up my weapons like that

there's a shrine here but the glowing orange blends right in with this lava, i nearly missed it

AWWW yunobo's gonna be the canonball! bless him

omg is he gonna follow me!!!! I HAVE A FRIEND

IM GONNA CRY FINALLY IM NOT ALONE <3333

oh god okay here we go i guess??? im so scared

like. its so big.i cant impress upon anyone who hasnt played it. how big it is. and the mountain is so much bigger and i am so small. i keep saying that but i'm like. DWARFED by this thing, it's truly incredible

ohhhhh an escort mission.......and stealth, which im Bad at. man, the elephant was a lot cooler so far

AWW omg we snuck past the first one and he went "hee hee!" and it was so cute i love him so much

he stands at attention so quick when i do the stop whistle please please i love him

also i feel like i recognize SO many voices in this...i gotta imdb it later

the voice acting isn't even anything extraordinary, it's like, not awful but nothing jaw dropping

but the fact that they speak blows my mind every time

i used to fantasize about that in a "fff yeah right the day after never" kinda way and here we are.....

omg i got stuck and talked to him and it's like. what he said was completely useless but it's like having a companion!!! oh god i've been so lonely

oh god i looked up too far and saw the beast and it is. so big. i know i keep saying this but it is gargantuan. it's HUGE. i can't believe how big it is

lol i couldnt figure out why the trail ended and spent half an hour wondering what i was supposed to do

turns out i should have been firing at the divine beast this entire time so i gotta go back and start over and walk up the trail again LMAO

at least you only have to clear the sentries once

ah FINALLY im inside!

DARUK IS TALKING TO ME ;_;

HE ALWAYS KNEW LINK WOULD BE BACK im so sad. i feel human emotion

oooh it's all dark in here

and blue flame!!

ohhhhh man i love these 3D maps

OH MY GOD YOU CAN TURN IT

it's so big. oh my god

wait it isn't hot in here! i can use any item i want!

god i forgot how the music becomes creepier the closer you get

i can't believe this...turning the whole dungeon...some stone tower temple shit

ooh okay still hot OUTSIDE of the divine beast...too bad

noooo i found the cockpit pod thingy...like are their skeletons just decaying in there or

ooh boy oooookay last one here we GOOOO...

"PAIN IN THE CRAG" LOL NINTENDO PLS

omg daruk cheering me on as i fight ;______;

awww that wasnt too bad ive fought WAY worse enemies just roaming around on the map

oh ew GROSS

DARUK ;_;

me after daruk sent link away: aaaww i love him but that wasn't as gut-wrenching as mipha's

me after daruk saw yunobo from a distance and they waved at each other: literally actually crying, there are tears really on my face

WHY COULDN'T MIPHA SEE HER FAMILY FROM A DISTANCE, HUH

if it doesn't happen i swear to god i will draw it if i have to

oooh boss is talkin about the master sword

it's in a forest - that's gotta be the lost woods or i'll eat my pointy green hat

but i mean. if you just find it. there's gotta be some kinda quest or build up

wow, i'm finally at the tippy-top opf death mountain...i feel like i could go anywhere from here

omg i flew to a shrine and i have to complete a training thing to get in??? oh my god

oh no. i have to climb the thing. #why

aww that wasn't too bad. did it on the first try

i found the end of the map on "land" ... it's a deep gorge and you die if you go too far down, probably even if you're on foot

but there's land beyond that, even on the map, so it doesn't feel as freaky as just MEGA WIND on the ocean

why is there a hinox EVERYWHERE i try to go. why.

dude theres a giant skeleton of some sort on my map...omg

probs a hinox there too tbh

...wait a second.

i'm at a HOT SPRING

i recover hearts by swimming, so maybe i could fight this hinox...

AND i have daruk's protection, three whole charges, two fairies, my hearty radish food, and mipha's grace.........i can do it!!

wow okay and i just used up the grace and one fairy on this bokoblin camp so nevermind

tbh i don't even like fighting them...i suck at combat and the rewards are almost never worth the fight

okay but i literally could get anywhere from death mountain i think and i do mean LITERALLY that isn't hyperbole, assuming i had infinite stamina. damn. thats a Big Mountain

gonna go investigate the skeleton

there's monsters under it! i am standing above them on the ribcage and cheesing it with bombs

also it says eldin great skeleton was this a dragon.........

was this in the trailers or was it somewhere else?

standing inside the skull of this thing 

i realize just how BIG the dragons are

like. damn

everything in this game makes me feel like an ant

lol this is the First Ever shrine i'll have to come back to not bc i can't figure it out but bc i ran out of fucking arrows. incredible

the problem is i can't really explore here bc my fire armor hasnt been improved at all, my defense SUCKS

i just died bc i found a talus lol and it two-shotted me and like. i have a pretty good amt of hearts, here

also next time im exploring first i feel like i'll never know if ive seen everything or not bc i'm all lost and don't know what i looked at and what i didn't :/

i hate to like, leave it and say i'll come back to it bc i know i probably won't, but games are supposed to be fun! and attempting to explore this area with all my armor at 3 defense is like. not fun. dying over and over: Not Fun

i feel like seeing or doing something new!!

what i need is my own copy of the map on the computer so i can just mark off the areas i wanna explore later

oooh i found an interactive map!! which i can't. screencap and annotate for myself, but

oh well, it's too much trouble to find one, and ps would be really slow rn anyway since i havent used it in awhile

however this map DOES have memory locations, so i'm gonna grab a few of those

okay NOW i found a shrine idk how to do. tbh i can't be fucked rn, i wanna go get memories

holy fuck the first memory i unlocked had like a PILE of dead monsters link just fucked up, including a silver maned lynel, which my ass has NOT killed yet, holy shit

ONWARD

HOLY SHIT the one i just got was in the trailers!! zelda crying on link ;_;

i'm glad tbh bc i was lowkey like...well i know you get her out of the castle bc she cries on you later

but no!!!!

also he strains of zelda's lullaby, them being covered in mud, and link's master sword! MAN

i can't get to anymore atm so i guess i decide where i go next...

tbh i wanna do gerudo next like my brother which means going thru lake hylia!! so it will be a long time before more plot, i guess

ah! the blood moon! gonna warp to the stable and watch it with that guy

lol he's all beautiful moon tonight, eh, finally the blood moon

UM HE'S FREAKING ME OUT HE JUST STARTED RUNNING AROUND AND SAID HIS BLOOD WAS BOILING???

"IT'S SO GLORIOUSLY RED, ARISE MONSTERS" WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

and he acted totally normal after!

"oh you were researching the blood moon too?" WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU FREAK

yep goodbye im leaving

upgraded my armor as much as i could with the fairy, STILL can't afford anti-guardian tech, am actively dying without it, will attempt gerudo and/or lake hylia tomorrow