#i think canon sometimes is like 70% atmosphere

[marley-manson]

4, 5, 9, and 11? I mean, I know your answer to 4 but I love hearing your thoughts on it

Thank you!

BJ or Trapper (for Hawkeye but also in general) (and lol tyvm <3)

under a cut bc it got long ofc lol, and I’m a little hard on BJ here so it’s easily skippable for anyone who wants to avoid that

Trapper, both for Hawkeye and in general.

So like, in general I just vibe with Trapper more. I got into Mash for the fun gay vibes and for me Trapper delivers on those way more than BJ does, not just because he was the costar of the most homoerotic seasons and I think he has better chemistry with Hawkeye, but also because it’s so much easier to headcanon Trapper as meaning the jokes to an extent, whereas it’s impossible for me to read most of BJ’s gay jokes as anything but jokes, the punchline being ‘lol gay.’

The problem with BJ is he’s too heteronormative for me - almost pointedly so. Trapper was a product of the sexual revolution and the satirical look at the 50s through a cynical 70s lens. He’s deviant - he’s a proud cheater, he’s unpatriotic, he enjoys subverting authority with Hawkeye, he’s not as effeminate as Hawkeye but he’s not defensive of his masculinity, and of course he loves the gay jokes almost as much as Hawkeye. Even if he’s intended to be straight as an arrow, there’s still an extent to which he canonically means the jokes, and that extent is “I would rather be seen as gay and deviant than as military and conformist.” And that’s already pretty great on its own for the time, but it’s also so easy to take that and run headlong into a nearly openly bi reading.

BJ, conversely, is a product of the show’s choice to drop some of the exaggerated satire, and he’s a typical 50s family man thrown into a horrible situation for the sake of exploring the effect of a war zone on this sort of 50s archetype. Before we even see him Margaret and Frank introduce him to us through their admiration of his background. He’s pointedly unresponsive to Hawkeye fishing to see if he’ll be another partner in womanizing (and lbr here, gay sex) during their conversation at the airport bar. He’s practically defined by his idealized heterosexual marriage.

Throughout BJ’s first few seasons he’s kind of the straight man, pun extremely intended. In addition to being married and faithful, he’s distinctly heteronormative in a way that comes across as awkward sometimes compared to Hawkeye’s total comfort with the gay and gnc jokes. “We’ll go dancing,” “I lead.” / “What threw you off, the beard?” “No, the machine gun.” / “Have you ever considered the foot?” “I prefer girls.” / “Have I ever told you you look cute with your shirt off?” “[irritated at being interrupted] No!” “I think I know why.” / “We are not guys.” “I thought I was.” etc etc. It’s also quite noticeable how in season 4 Hawkeye’s gay jokes come out mainly in scenes with Klinger rather than BJ.

That’s not to say BJ and Hawkeye don’t have some fun homoerotic rapport despite these more awkward moments, they definitely do, but it’s a lot sparser than Hawk and Trapper, and again thanks to BJ’s happily married heteronormative state I can’t headcanon him as meaning them. They feel perfunctory. And again to be fair Trapper had the occasional no-homo-esque joke himself, but thanks to the overarching atmosphere it’s so easy to headcanon those as Trapper being slightly more cautious than Hawkeye, rather than in denial or straight.

Also incidentally like, a lot of what people point to as BJ’s lack of heteronormativity in later seasons, like... hand gestures or the way he says some lines or whatever, doesn’t matter to me at all lol. A big reason I enjoy Hawkeye’s effeminacy is because it was a deliberate way of marking him as subversive, it was emphasized as a counterpoint to the masculine military and also framed as cool and likeable. That framing is almost entirely gone in the later seasons, so consequently I just don’t care if Mike Farrell delivers the occasional line with a little extra bitchiness lol, it’s meaningless to me. I get why other people are into it and I respect that, but I can’t enjoy stuff divorced from narrative framing, it’s always a significant factor for me. BJ being the het wife guy >>> BJ crossing his legs sometimes.

I can and do headcanon BJ as being gay or bi and repressed, but that feels so much more like reading against the text than headcanoning that Hawkeye and Trapper are fucking between scenes. It takes more work, and for me it’s less constantly rewarding.

ANYWAY lol I also have other reasons for preferring Trapper generally, like finding Wayne Rogers funnier, or certain traits of BJ’s being very grating on a personal level (like his passive aggression is irrationally offputting to me, I had to peace out of my Joker is Wild rewatch because every word out of BJ’s mouth was making me see red lmao), but like a good 60% of my feelings about this show are rooted in the homoeroticism and that’s what I wanted to talk about.

As for Trapper being better for Hawkeye than BJ, it just seems self-evident to me lol, like part of the basic point of BJ and Hawkeye’s friendship is that BJ’s flaws often affect Hawkeye negatively, it’s an element of their relationship that the show explores a lot, up to dedicating like a third of the finale to it.

And it’s interesting, good writing and it’s the biggest reason that I still ship them to an extent, because I like relationships with big flaws. But yk, it kinda sucks for Hawkeye lol.

He and Trapper fought a few times but it was always equal-opportunity, both of them bitching at each other and escalating pretty evenly. Even the Mail Call moment when Trapper tries to leave and knocks Hawkeye out of the doorway happened after Hawkeye threatened Trapper. Plus their conflicts tended to be brief and quickly resolved because they hate not being on the same side.

On the other hand BJ has several episodes where he just one-sidedly torments Hawkeye for fun, like Dear Uncle Abdul, Bottom’s Up, or Joker is Wild, in ways that genuinely upset Hawkeye. Like on my first watch I assumed Joker is Wild would end with Hawkeye being impressed by BJ and laughing it off yk? But instead he just seems exhausted and exasperated, and it gives this, and the other episodes which also feel similar, a surprisingly mean vibe.

Even in Lend a Hand, where BJ’s scheme of pretending it’s Hawkeye’s birthday was pretty minor and harmless, Hawkeye hates it. And his “I seem to be the object of some sort of conspiracy, so naturally I thought of you,” there indicates that this is a pretty regular thing outside of just these episodes too.

Then there’s the way Trapper always supports Hawkeye’s campaigns, both useful and futile. He’s there with him every step of the way - Hawkeye needs a boot, Trapper asks what “we’re” going to do about it. Hawkeye wants ribs from Chicago, Trapper helps him get them. Hawkeye hates a propagandist for glorifying the war, Trapper helps him ruin his movie.

imo this is where BJ falls the most short, and it’s clearly a deliberately written aspect of his character. Like compare Yankee Doodle Doctor to Blood and Guts; Adam’s Ribs to Depressing News; House Arrest to The Grim Reaper. BJ is pointedly checked out and unwilling to engage with Hawkeye’s problems. He’ll engage when there’s a clear reachable goal (eg Souvenirs) but he won’t just support Hawkeye, in fact he seems almost morally opposed to encouraging him.

You could argue that that’s actually better for Hawkeye, yk maybe enabling him is bad, but like, I would never ever agree with that lol, partly because Hawkeye’s campaigns are awesome and entertaining, partly because politically and philosophically I’m 100% with him too, and partly because I think taking action to express his feelings is extremely important to Hawkeye, whether it works or not. BJ sipping a martini while telling him he’s fucked, or telling him his monument is pointless, or calling him Don Quixote, or tuning out his upset ranting while working on a motorcycle, etc etc, never actually helps in any way. It doesn’t discourage Hawkeye or stop him from taking risks, it just leaves him on his own. If he’s trying to protect Hawkeye it doesn’t work, and it never feels like he’s concerned about Hawkeye potentially facing consequences to me - he mainly just seems affronted by his “irrational” attitude - something he frequently and explicitly derides.

Finally, while I don’t take Trapper’s no note, no contact departure at face value since it was a forced writing decision on account of Wayne Rogers’ departure with 0 characterization work behind it, I think even taking that into consideration he still comes across better than BJ overall. I mean BJ’s first finale departure was actively worse in every way lol, it’s only by chance that he got a redo, and he even spent most of the redo refusing to engage with Hawkeye’s feelings. The goodbye rocks come across as a pretty feeble gesture to me after just the finale events, let alone the rest of their relationship.

SO yeah. I don’t think BJ is like a terrible person or anything, he has plenty of episodes and scenes where he’s a great friend to Hawkeye. But his flaws in particular clash badly with what Hawkeye wants and needs, and they come up quite a lot in the last few seasons of the show especially so they really stand out to me, especially in contrast to how much Hawkeye supports BJ. Like to me the most apt illustration of BJ and Hawkeye’s relationship is Hawkeye handing BJ tools while BJ fixes his motorcycle and ignores him. Or Hawkeye comforting BJ with a black eye. Or the way he comes back to the Swamp in Picture This because Margaret lied about BJ needing his support, versus BJ allowing him back to piss off Charles. I find that there’s a stark unevenness to their relationship, compared to Hawkeye and Trapper giving off a much more equally supportive vibe.

(And I’m actually going to answer the other questions in another post so they’re not buried at the end of this long ass rambly essay. Sorry this took so long to respond to, but hopefully you can see why lol.)

[princecosmosanon]

Zukka Dragonriders of Pern AU fanfic idea I guess???

What year is it? Seriously, self, how much are you gonna date yourself with this garbage?

So… everyone likes transgender Zuko, right? Right. Cause that’s what’s up with this fic. Don’t know what DRoP is? That’s fine! It’s prolly best you don’t know the source material.

The main thing to take away is people can impress dragon hatchlings (similar to ducks) and then form a telepathic bond with them, then riders use said dragons to burn a parasite that eats all organic matter (Thread) out of the sky before it can, you know, kill things. I’ll try to explain anything else that’s relevant as much as I can in the notes below.

Warnings: rape/dub-con that people think very little about (this is common in DroP), attempted grooming, underage characters having sex, various types of abuse, mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation, and graphic depictions of injuries.

Like seriously, messed up stuff. You’ve been warned.

Some quick setting details: though this will have the same types of telekinetic dragons from the Pern series, we’ll still keep it within the same planet that ATLA takes place. There will not be benders, just some people of elevated status called Dragonriders who have managed to impress a dragon hatchling.

Places where dragons and their riders live are typically within old volcanoes or mountain caves that have been hallowed out to create a series of tunnels are called a dragon Weyr. Cities or villages will sometimes be referred to as Holds (short for stronghold iirc). Generally, since everyone faces the threat of Thread, people mostly focus on a more community-based style of living, taking up useful professions of trade rather than hoarding wealth, though there are often struggles for power among the ambitious.

For those more deep in Pern lore, you can basically expect the rest to kinda fall away. The dragons, rather than being bioengineered megafauna, will be gifts from the spirits or may even be considered spirits dwelling in mortal form who make connections with the people of the world to help protect them. Klah, the Pern verse’s word for a spicy, caffeinated drink, will be replaced with general tea and coffee. The Avatar world is also rich with various animal species so there won’t be the limited species available for people or dragons to eat.

Thread will be a common threat to the world, and also fall in cycles, though never with such a long interval as is in the original Pern series. Usually Thread is pulled from space into the atmosphere for a good 70 years, breaks for about 40, then returns again to repeat the cycle.

Currently, I’m thinking there need to be at least 6 major Weyrs to help cover the vastness of the world, with the North and South Pole hosted by “minor” Weyrs located in the Northern and Southern Air Lands. The Fire Nation has 2 major Weyrs, the Caldera Weyr and the Archipelago Weyr, while the Earth Kingdom has 3, for Omashu, Ba Sing Se, and Yu Dao, and the Air Nations holding only one major Weyr at the Eastern Air Lands. The reason for having minor Weyrs is that little grows in the South and North poles, so much of that land is considered “negligible” if it doesn’t host human life.

And just a little more information on the dragons: in the original canon they have a natural “hierarchy” where the highest ranking dragon is a Gold, sometimes called a Queen, dragon that are always female and have the ability to lay eggs to perpetuate the species. The other dragons fall in line after Gold as Bronze (male, second largest, and usually the only type to mate with Gold dragons), Brown (male, middling size, which have very rarely mated with Golds), Blue (male, and are generally speedy), and Green (female, are also very speedy, and while they mate often with all male types, they cannot bear eggs).

Usually male dragons impress on male humans, and female dragons impress on female humans, but that’s not a hard and fast rule in this AU because I said so. The riders get the dragons I say they get, and that’s that.

Riders tend to be ranked depending on their dragon’s color status rather than the status of their own birth, so being born noble means nothing if you don’t impress a high level dragon. The ones who hold the most status in a Weyr however are the Weyrleaders, who are riders of the Head Queen dragon and whoever rides the dragon that manages to mate with the Head Queen. This means the Weyrleader can be changed out if the dragons are competitive enough during mating flights, but older Queen dragons usually only rise to mate every several years, so it’s not too often of a process.

Due to the open, free-for-all nature of mating flights, Weyrs are generally very sex-positive places. There’s little shame in nudity or sexual expression. Some people who live outside of Weyrs tend to fall more conservative regarding sex, and think sex outside of hetero couples as deviant (their justification being the supposed inability to continue family lines). It’s not unusual for people who show more queer tendencies to seek out way to join Weyr life, whether that means running away from home or else making themselves noticeable by visiting riders who may take an interest in them as potential candidates for hatching ground sands.

I think for the purposes of this AU the dragons will keep their hierarchy, but unlike the canon the Golds will be able to join the rest of the dragons in fighting Thread, though that’s also somewhat dependent on the Weyr. For those that have multiple Golds it’s fine, but not worth the risk when there’s only one to help reproduce.

Anyway, the main story begins with Zuko (17) being found by Sokka (16) while he’s scouting some of the westernmost islands of the Eastern Air Lands. Zuko and his dragon look close to death, with Zuko obviously suffering from an infected burn wound on his face and his small “Brown” dragon nearly gray from worry and neglecting their own health. At first the other dragon refuses to let Sokka near and won’t even speak to his Blue, but with some coaxing that they only wish to help the suffering rider do they manage to convince them to help fly Zuko to help.

Sokka determines it’s too dangerous to fly between (teleportation where the dragon syncs to a location put into their mind by the rider and blinks into existence in the air over that location), so they fly straight to the Southern Air Weyr. It means they arrive super late at night, and Hakoda, Kya and Katara are waiting up for him. Good thing, because Sokka is sure Zuko won’t last much longer.

Katara goes immediately into Healer Mode, while Sokka explains to Hakoda where he found Zuko. Hakoda is troubled but decides to look into the matter later; for now, they’re more intent on saving Zuko and the distressed dragon. Katara is able to help Zuko break his fever a few hours later and Kya manages to coax the distressed dragon to eat from the pastures, then it’s just up to allowing the injured rider to rest.

Several days pass before Zuko fully wakes and at first he’s terrified. He calms only when he meets his dragon again, which he then corrects to everyone else that his little “Brown” is actually a Gold dragon. Everyone is shocked because she’s so small, but Zuko is a bit cagey about the why so they leave it alone once he makes it clear he has no desire to usurp the Head Queen’s place in their Weyr.

Zuko starts to settle into the Southern weyr’s patterns, making friends and learning their turf, but continuously dodged questions about himself. Most people leave it be, except for Toph who only cajoles half-seriously.

Despite still being a bit young, Zuko’s dragon starts to show signs of readying to mate (she’s 2 and the usual age for that is 3 to 5) and Zuko has a panic attack over it. Dragons and riders are linked mentally, so often when one experiences strong feelings the other feels it too. This also translates to mating, and the riders whose dragons couple end up having sex as well.

Zuko finally confides in Sokka, not sure who else to speak to about his fears, but Sokka has always worried over him and seemed to care and wasn’t a Father, so… he tells him. About how when he first impressed his Gold at 15, much later than weyrlings usually impress, his father hadn’t said much, but his uncle and mother had been proud and it seemed like the rest of the Weyr had been happy to finally have a potential successor for when Ursa and her Gold retired from the spot of Head Queen. A lot of riders were happy, and suddenly a lot more interested in Zuko despite his father’s reputation for being harsh towards Zuko.

Zhao, a Bronzerider, took a special interest in Zuko, and for a while Zuko thought he wanted that attention. It was nice to be surprised with gifts, have someone take interest in his day and his hobbies, and generally just be kind to him. Encourage him. Make Zuko feel like he was special just as he was. And so when Zhao started stealing kisses and touching him more, Zuko had also returned the affection, thinking little beyond it being just a natural progression of feelings.

Age differences didn’t matter quite as much in Weyrs as it did for non-riders, and Zuko had been brought up in the Weyr though he hadn’t spent much time considering how things like this might affect a growing Gold dragon. There hadn’t been another Gold dragon in the Weyr for years, so how could he have known there was something more to Zhao’s actions.

Iroh was the first to realize what was going on, and though he hadn’t been inclined to mess with Weyr politics after his own son and weyrmate passed away, he did worry about Zuko’s future and the safety of his dragon.

At first, Iroh tried to tell Zuko he was allowing too much, that if he wanted Zhao’s attention in another year or so it would be fine, but he should hold back for the dragon’s sake. He hadn’t wanted to distress Zuko by telling him he could be harming his own dragon’s growth process; Zuko was still young, still impressionable, while Zhao ought know better. But Zuko had brushed Iroh’s worries aside, insisting he didn’t think Zhao was trying to hurt him, not when he was being so nice.

(Iroh then attempted to corner Zhao on the matter, but the younger Bronzerider had just told Iroh to keep out of his business. This isn’t part of Zuko’s story to Sokka, but it’s important to note Iroh did attempt to stop Zhao, who absolutely did know what he was doing could trigger early heat in a Gold dragon well before they’re ready to mate, which could be incredibly dangerous for the dragon and thus the rider. But a rider’s preferences can sometimes affect a dragon’s mating, and Zhao was banking on his own favor in Zuko’s eyes leading the Gold to choosing his dragon when the time came to mate.)

Without any other options, Iroh went to Ozai, believing that as Weyrleader he would step in to help Zuko and reprimand Zhao for his inappropriate advances. Ozai listened quietly, then sent Iroh away to consider how he would handle things. Iroh thought the matter would be settled, but he had no clue how Ozai actually took his words.

Ozai, in fact, took Iroh’s words in a very different direction. Ursa had been showing signs of declining mood and health over the past few years, and with no other Queen dragons currently residing at Caldera Weyr Ozai believed Zuko was instigating a seizure of power. If Ursa were to die so would her dragon, and thus Zuko would take her place as a leader and whoever mated his dragon would take the mantle of Weyrleader from Ozai. Zhao, despite his narcissism, was an effective flier during Threadfall and had the respect if not the friendship of the other riders. He absolutely was a threat to Ozai, and Zuko was allowing the man a free ride into his seat of power.

Thinking back on his father’s twisted sense of reality, Zuko could now see why Ozai might have brought himself to that conclusion. Zuko never wished for his mother to decline in health. He wanted her to stay strong for as long as she could, he wanted her to survive into her winter years!

But Ozai isn’t the kind of man to be reasoned with after he’s made up his mind. No matter how much Zuko protested and pleaded his case, Ozai would not hear of it. He had cornered Zuko in his own Weyr, and when he was over Zuko’s excuses, he grabbed his son’s by his hair and pressed his face into the burning hearth. Zuko’s little Gold woke up from feeling her rider’s pain and struggled into the room, attacking Ozai to save Zuko. If she hadn’t managed to intervene it’s likely Ozai would have outright killed Zuko, new Queen dragon’s own life be damned.

Zuko doesn’t remember much after, but he managed to grab onto his Gold and they went between. It was a dangerous choice; in this much pain it’s easy to lose your train of thought, but Zuko managed to hold onto a place of safety, of Ember Island. But even when they managed to get there, neither he nor his dragon felt they could stay. Ozai could still follow them, so they kept flying, despite not knowing where they were going.

Somehow they managed to make it to the island Sokka found them on, and that was that.

Sokka pleads with Zuko to talk to Hakoda about it, the Weyrleader can do something to help! But Zuko is too terrified. Instead, he settles for speaking with Kya. She’s just as horrified as Sokka at the story, but she understands Zuko’s fears can’t be addressed just yet. First it’s time to deal with a too young Gold going into heat.

Kya sends Zuko and Sokka to rest while she speaks with Hakoda about the details of Zuko’s upcoming mating flight, which could be any day now. It’s decided that since Zuko and his Gold are young, they should limit who participate in the flight, which is… controversial, to say the least. His Gold is also very small, so Kya and Hakoda declare no Bronze are allowed, and while there’s some outspoken who try to argue against it, the Weyrleaders are firm in their decision.

Zuko is both relieved and upset that his previous decisions put such a limit on his dragon but she just consoles him, not understanding why he’s so upset. She’s a little more moody and feral the next day, and Zuko doesn’t have much time to mentally prepare for what comes next.

Since Golds are fairly territorial over mates during flights, Kya has to leave the Weyr for a while and she instructs all the Bronzeriders to follow her, ensuring Zuko’s and his Gold’s safety. Katara’s Gold is still young without mating urges, so she remains in the Weyr as well as Hakoda, the only Bronzerider staying behind to make sure the flight continues safely. (Hakoda’s Bronze isn’t a threat to Zuko’s Gold, he has very little interest in the “Hatchling Queen” as he sees her.)

There’s still a lot of Brown dragons and their riders to vie for the position, but Sokka’s even surprised when his own Blue dragon insists on flying along to try to catch Zuko’s Gold. And of course, in the end, Sokka’s Blue manages, because Zuko’s Gold is so very small; she’s a lot more agile, nimbler than any Gold a Brown dragon has attempted to mate before. And she’s friends with Sokka’s Blue, enjoys playing with him in the sea and the nearby lake, hunting together, cuddling…

Zuko can’t help but feel immense relief that his first time is with someone just as young and fumbling as he is. And it’s someone he can meet at the same level, and not feel like he’s constantly playing catch up or being humored for being naïve. And besides all that, Sokka is so very warm.

And that would probably be the first half of the story, with the second stretching into more fallout. Hakoda eventually pushing the issue, insistent he has to know what happened to Zuko to make things right. A confrontation with Ozai at a Hatching, where all the Weyrleaders are expected to meet and show respect to one another. Iroh and some other characters, like Mai, searching for Zuko. Ursa and Azula attempting to figure out what actually happened to make Zuko run away…

All the while Zuko and Sokka are fumbling their way through attempting to understand where they stand with each other and how much more they want, even as Zuko struggles to better care for his stunted Gold.

This would be a lot of fun to write, but boy would I have to figure out some names to call these dragons because lol there’s A Lot and it gets complicated just referring to their color.

Sokka has a Blue dragon because I’ve always loved Blues. They’re so shit on in canon for being the “lowest ranking” male dragon, but they play such a vital part in fighting thread, just as Greens do. I considered giving Zuko a Green to give Ozai a reason to look down on him, but then I didn’t have a reason for him to outright attack Zuko, so I felt Gold had more impact. And besides, Ozai doesn’t believe Zuko is worth much, so seeing him impress the highest rank of dragon feels so justified.

I know I didn’t mention them by name, but other characters like Suki, Ty Lee, Bato, etc. will all be in the story as well. I haven’t hammered out the details to in-betweens of the Main Plot, but I imagine there will be a lot of chaos with younger riders and dragons working out their place in their Weyr.

If anyone has any particular thoughts on this AU I would totally welcome them.

[roomeight]

AO3 Fic Author Asks

What is your total posted word count on AO3? (Go to your Works, then click Statistics)

407,183 words 

How often do you write?

Every day, unless something else that sucks a lot of energy is going on in my life, like finding a job or another art project.

Do you have a routine for writing?

I write on my train commute in the morning and/or the evening riding home. I use a writing gamification site called 4thewords to try and hit a goal of at least 400 words a day—but I'm trying to train up to 1600/day for Nanowrimo. I eat dinner and then I usually write more. I have a bad habit of writing in the evening because I don't get a lot of free time and usually that's when my second wind of creativity happens. Usually I write on my phone because it's always there, but I like my laptop more because auto-correct is a B.

I used to go back and edit every time I open my doc regardless if I finished the rough draft, but I've found that really keeps me from finishing the first draft—yes editing can be a form of procrastination—so now I write the whole chapter rough and only then then edit. I'll obsessively read through it way too many times to make sure the cadence and pacing are solid before I transfer it to ProWritingAid for a second round of final editing, grammar polish, etc. And then I post it!

Lately I've been using an outline (one or two sentences describing the general scene I want to write) as opposed to pantsing it and I feel I'm more productive that way.

I'd say a good 70-80% of what I write is intuitive, meaning I'll set my characters in an outlined scene and have them riff off each other so it feels natural and like a real conversation...sometimes that leads me into unexpected and sexy places. Sometimes it derails me (like Graham making quips) and I have to pare it back, but the goal is that it sounds natural and not forced.

What are your favorite tropes/pairings?

Tropes: friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, sex!fluff, fics inspired by other classic stories *cough*Oscar Wilde*cough*

Pairings: Gramon, Jamion, Gralex (I read a lot of non-Blur stuff but don't write it really)

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

I really like The Picture of Damien Gray, but I love The Selfish Giant the most because it feels more like...me? I don't know. It's very heady and nostalgic and melancholic like my visual art so I guess it feels truer to me? But I love TPODG a lot too because the AU is so much fun to write and it really frees Gramon up to be something more than canon allows.

Your fic with the most kudos?

The Picture of Damien Gray :)

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

The same thing I struggle with in my visual art which is, I'm very spare about what I put on the page, especially with details. Sometimes I love being minimalist, but other times I wish that I wrote more "flowery" language. I can't bother myself to write a lot of atmospheric details. But I'm attracted to writers who write simply and get straight to the point, so it's not really my taste to be flowery I guess.

Now something you do like?

Characterization and canon is very important to me. I'd like to think I write a good version of Damon and Graham. If characterization is ever off, or canon's off, it's difficult for me to read. I don't think my characterization of Gra and Damon sounds like them, but I never wanted to capture their exact way of speaking, just their personalities. Damon says "uhhh" and "sort of" about a million times in a sentence and whistles on his S's, but we don't need to read that to know it's him. ;) We know it's Damon because he's arrogant yet insecure, and confident yet anxious. And we know it's Graham because he's neurotic but sassy, and narcissistic but self conscious at the same time. And difficult. Both of them are difficult. xD

[ask-aph-baltics]

baltic trio being forced to do a kgb spy job

work kinda together, sometime in the 70s. Estonia is the hacker and early computer dude, calculations, specifics.

Latvia is trained in making gear for operatives and tools, it’s canon Russia has him make things and he’s always surprised at what he can do so he’s always underestimating himself and ends up making something AWESOME.

Lithuania is the field operative, not only does he have a long history of being an insanely skilled and powerful soldier in all types of warfare, he has his martial arts/hand to hand combat, more ‘street’ savvy, can read the atmosphere, and act hold information like a boss. He can also go a long time without getting tired and he’s capable of killing in cold blood even if he doesn’t want to. He can handle it.

Anyone got any good references or ideas or anything for stories that take place in the 70s. I think they’ll go to America and do something there. Cause Lithuania lived there for a few years and knows English (he has to improve it but he knows it) and American stuff (more than the others).

I don’t know what they’ll do but I guess pull off some kind of job or something.

[mcusoulmateau]

Jane Foster, the Consultant

(If this looks a bit familiar, it’s because a version of this has been put on AO3. But I’m reworking it, taking Jane in new, more canon-divergent directions.)

It could be worse, Jane tells herself. There are whispers that one girl in her grade has a mark in hieroglyphics. Some people say that Brittany and James only broke up because James’s mark came in with a boy’s name. And everyone knows that Coach Fowler has no mark and is bitter about it.

 Still. “Thor” is pretty bad, and it’s not even in English. She spends a whole day in the library just trying to decode the not-English-alphabet language on her arm before she knows for sure what the name even is.

 Jane’s best friend suggests that she travel to Scandinavia for a better chance at finding a Thor. Jane shrugs the suggestion off and keeps dating her not-Thor boyfriend, a sweet boy called Brandon.

 But Jane Foster is not one of the brightest minds of her age because she can forget about an idea. The same obsession that drives her to excel at astrophysics also compels her to learn everything she can about her would-be soulmate. The only Thor she has even heard of is a pagan god, so that’s where she starts.

 She is by no means religious, but these stories give her a feeling of home that she has never found outside of research. Just like writing papers and entering centuries-long academic discourse, myths give her a community and a sense that some knowledge belongs uniquely to her. On Thursdays, she feels something that might be her soul. If Thor is Jane’s and Thursday is Thor’s day, then it follows that it is also Jane’s day.

 The romantic in her wins out, and Jane studies abroad in her junior year of college. She bounces across Europe, meeting a handful of Thors but never hers. One is the young son of an archeology professor, a little boy whose mother convinces her to tough out the double major and to keep studying the ancient Norse. Jane babysits little Thor and loses herself in his mother’s library after he falls asleep. Another Thor is an old man who bartends at a pub she frequents, and he tells her about the myths so precious the Nazis invaded to dig them up.

 That catches Jane’s attention, and before she knows it, she’s submitting her thesis proposal about the Nazi incursion in a tiny town in Norway.

 Uncovering the Mystery of Tønsberg:

Norse Mythology, HYDRA, and the Impossible Advancements of the Nazi Science Division

 It’s a wild thing, she knows, not like her neat lab experiments. This is photographs of Johann Schmidt’s personal belongings, taped interviews with Dr. Armin Zola before his death, centuries-old poetry and stories about Odin and his treasures, interviews and diaries from the Tønsberg survivors, photographs and reports from battlefields all over Europe, even an interview she manages to score with Strategic Scientific Reserve officer Margaret “Peggy” Carter. Peggy is not a scientist, but she is an eye witness who affirms many of Jane’s theories. She’s also frustratingly coy.

 Still. By the end of it, Jane Foster is so close to reverse-engineering HYDRA’s weapons that it hurts. There’s something, this nameless treasure that holds the secret to Schmidt’s science and Norse mythology, something that gave Schmidt incredible power and that the people of Tønsberg tried desperately to protect. And Jane knows in her bones that Thor is involved. She calls this mysterious MacGuffin “the Cosmic Cube,” even though she’s only 70% sure that it’s even cubic.

 In front of a panel of professors and TAs, she begins.

 “I did not think it would be possible to write a single thesis that unites my two majors of Physics and Germanic Mythology, the latter of which is a custom program designed for me. Yet, while studying abroad in Norway, I visited several archeological sites with mythological significance, where I discovered the ruin brought on by Nazi Germany. Though the accounts of what Johann Schmidt did to the Norwegians are horrific, it was the stories about Schmidt’s exploits after leaving Norway that caught my attention. Survivors, Allied and Axis alike, all tell of physics-defying weapons wielded by Schmidt and his men. I believe that Schmidt found something in Tønsberg, Norway, something of mythological significance, that gave him and the Nazis a technological edge on the Allies.

 “By all accounts, Johann Schmidt, the head of the Nazi Science Division, HYDRA, was obsessed with Norse paganism and mythology. . . .”

 When she is done with her speech and accompanying slide projections, most of her professors look impressed. Not convinced, but impressed. They thank her and send her on her way when she is confronted by a woman in a suit.

 “Jane Foster,” she says. “My name is Dr. Weaver, of S.H.I.E.L.D., and I’d like to offer you a job.”

 She says she can fast-track her for a PhD, get her a spot in her organization’s elite Academy of Science and Technology, maybe give her a chance to study things like the Cosmic Cube. But something about it doesn’t feel right, the fact that she’s never even heard of this organization. And if they know about the Cube, why didn’t she find anything about it when she was researching? And why does Jane get the feeling that if she accepts, she’ll be signing away her freedom?

 They compromise, and Jane Foster becomes a consultant of S.H.I.E.L.D. Years pass, and they never call her, and she starts to forget about the shadowy organization. They have better astrophysicists they can call, better experts in Norse myth—why would they bother with a PhD candidate like her? She has better things to think about, like tracking meteorological anomalies and theorizing about interstellar travel.

 And then New Mexico happens.

 Jane and her intern, who is also her only friend, are chasing an atmospheric disturbance when a man falls out of the sky. A man who looks like all the drawings and paintings from her mythology studies. A man who wields a hammer. A man whose name matches the name on her wrist.

 When Thor finally acts reasonable (though if she had traveled lightyears via an Einstein-Rosin Bridge, got hit by a van, tazed, and sedated, she doubts she’d be reasonable), Jane tells him she believes him.

 “I know who you are,” she says, “but I don’t know how you are who you are.”

 “You’ve heard the tales of me, then?” he asks with that cocky smile.

 “Tales? More like myths. Maybe humans believed them, once, but not anymore.”

 “But you do.”

 “I didn’t until a few hours ago. And it’s only because—” She stops herself, heart pounding. “I don’t want to presume anything. Do your species even have soulmarks? But…” It’s easier if she shows him.

 Jane uncovers her wrist and holds it out for Thor to see.

 “I am sorry,” he says. “Mine is not a match.”

 Her heart plummets. “Can I see? How do I know I can believe you?”

 He smiles sadly. “You may. But I would not lie to you, Jane. I do care for you.”

 “I do care for you” is hardly the passionate speech Jane has dreamed of hearing from her soulmate. Yet, it is a balm to the wound in her chest, an assurance that things may yet work out.

 Thor removes the alien covering from his wrist. On it, in the same alphabet as her own mark, is the name “Loki.”

 “Him? Isn’t he—he’s your brother!”

 “I do not know why fate gave me his name and not yours, or any other. But my destiny is entwined with his, for good or ill. It would not do to enmesh you in our affairs.”

 “But—but you care for me,” she stutters.

 “Yes.” He seems to hope she will be satisfied with that answer alone, but when she is not, he continues. “I care for you, Jane Foster, which is why I cannot bring you to Asgard. Only a true match may rule, and I cannot abdicate the throne. You would be in far more danger there—from him, from a thousand others—than you would on Midgard. ”

 He’s handsome and kind and dreamy and noble and fascinating and everything she could want in a soulmate. But he’s also an alien and decidedly not a match for her. When Thor leaves Earth, Jane Foster returns to academia. S.H.I.E.L.D. asks for her help with studying the Bifrost and the marks it leaves behind, and the agent who had tried to wipe her research on Thor’s arrival apologizes by giving her access to the Cosmic Cube.

 But it turns out that Thor was wrong about at least one thing: Jane Foster is still very much in danger of Loki while on Midgard, especially given her proximity to the Cube.

 Perhaps, in another reality, Loki would puppet a different human. Perhaps the Tesseract, the Chitauri invasion, all of it would still play out the same way. Perhaps it makes no cosmic significance that it is Jane Foster who Loki picks to be his influence on Earth.

 But it matters to Jane, cosmic significance be damned. For months, she is made and unmade by a stranger, driven by whispers and whims she doesn’t understand. It’s not entirely against her will, either. She has been champing at the bit for a chance to focus exclusively on the Cube for a decade. It just takes a push from Loki for her to seize that opportunity.

 It’s a little poetic, in a backwards way, that she should be puppetted by her soulmate’s soulmate. For a normal couple—a true match—one is always controlled by one’s soulmate’s soulmate (i.e. one’s self). But she, with her alien mark and her god inexplicably bound to his brother, she gets this twisted version of a soulmate. If she were herself, she’d be horrified. But the god of mischief in her brain finds it all very amusing.

 Besides, there is no time for horror when there is research to be done. Working with the Cube begins to consume her, and Jane—both with and without Loki’s influence—is rather willing to be consumed.

 “I understand the ancient Norwegians a lot better now,” she confesses to Dr. Selvig one night over a beer. “Putting the Cube in a church, in a place of honor, revering the ones who sent it as gods.”

 “Finding religion, are you?” he asks, only partly joking.

 “Maybe. The Cube is beautiful, Erik. Otherworldly. Perfect. It’s an actual four-dimensional shape, and sometimes I feel like I’m on the edge of finally comprehending it. Not just theoretically, but really getting it. If I were the type, I think I’d worship it.”

 She isn’t sure how much of her right now is Jane and how much is Loki. Nevertheless, her words are true.

 “Anything new to report?”

 “It’s more than an energy source, that’s for sure. Maybe the energy output is the most useful attribute, at least for human civilization right now, but I’m almost positive that the thing can warp spacetime. Maybe it makes time loops, maybe it creates tiny wormholes, maybe it can manipulate the space between subatomic particles. But the readings it creates don’t get explained away by energy alone.”

 “You think we could see interstellar travel with the Cube.”

 “Imagine creating your own Bifrost whenever and wherever you pleased.”

 “You’re getting fanciful, Jane. Lost in the Edda.”

 “I have never been less lost, Erik. Johann Schmidt died on the Valkyrie with Steve Rogers. Except Rogers isn’t dead, and there’s not a single shred of Schmidt’s remains on that ship. Forensically speaking, there ought be some trace of him, even after seventy years. But there’s not! And the Cube is involved, somehow. I just have to piece this mystery together, like all the others.”

 “Your poking at mysteries will be the death of you. And I’m only half charmed and endeared when I say that. The other half of me is quite concerned.”

 Jane smiles, though it does not reach her eyes. “It’s not such a bad way to go.”

 When she is on the cusp of sleep that night, a whisper creeps into the base of her skull, a primal thought she will only barely remember in the morning: a doorknob in the shape of an otherworldly Cube.

  Days later, with the help of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent or two, the door opens.

[trailerparkflower]

Favorite Steve/billy fics?

Thats a good ask im sorry it took me so long!! I love very different works, from extra fluffy as Steve Harrington hair to dark and gloomy as Billy Hargrove soul, and characterization is the key…And hurt/comfort, of course. Thought about this a lot and collected stuff what im think are the bestest everr

Build It Better by Anonymous ~ fandom classic!!! Lovely and cozy story about true love, loneliness, family, kindness. The purest cutest thing EVER! Also Im still dreaming to taste Steves infamous mashed potatoes

Princess Steve by Squeakyshroom ~ thats was one of my first Harringrove fics what I read, and its still has a special place in my heart…Love tempting slurty Billy, experenced in Cali and knowing all what he needs to and super flustered preppy boy aka repressed subby slut Steve. Story about acceptance of sexuality, feelings, desires….

fistfight drunk like by lipgallagher ~ pretty dark pretty sad…Pretty pretty. Trash magic boys in uhealthy relationships. Thats tbh one of the most re-readed fics for me, Im just can get enough?! Crushing and depressing and sometimes leaves the feeling what u was fucked rough and hard but didnt get any aftercare. Honestly living for it,,,, one of the favest faves!!!! (And Billy Hargrove with heavy Daddy kink)

shoot the lights out, hide) till its bright out by lipgallagher ~  Amazing post ST2 series of Steves n Billy unfortunate events. Love the character study, special atmosphere, the dynamic between em two, plot…everything in dis is simply perfect. The feeling of American suburban town with a slight touch of white trashy aura, dark forests with monsters, lonely scared boys…Lots of ice cream

Expecting the Unexpected by dabblingwithwords ~ HURT/COMFORT AT FINEST! Spooky creepy themes are super exciting, just like Billy, who cant help it but becomes caretaking and protective towards Steve, who clearly has some anixety issues and PTSD:) Upside Down stuff happens…….

House by femmesteve ~ I wont even be lying, this is one of the hottest things I ever saw idk. Short filthy thing, Daddy Billy forever

Broken Pieces by Cerulaine ~ another classic out here! Incredable alternative story about “what if Billy found out about Upside Down and joined the party”. Billy and Steve getting trapped in the Upside Down together, and then get a soul bound….Characters are amazing, alive and breathing, and what I really love is how troubled psycho Billy can be there, just like in canon. Hurt/comfort just A+++++, story is dynamical, everything about is is just dope

by your hand (is the only end i foresee) by thecopperkid ~ fuckin gross boys?? dude bros rivals trying to cool down steam in their relationships by Fucking. Steve is dramatic Diva in $70 baby pink polo & girly sailboat-print shorts, Billy just walking trashy fuckboy with long hair n red paisley bandana….the r so awful i really love them. (+hatesex and Billys dirty mouth)

To taste your beating heart by CeruleanHeart ~ 80s. Breakfast club references, the Princess and the Rebel….Lovely work with awesome take on Bills and Stevie personalities, blooming tenderness, interesting dynamic! Wholesome and powerful

can’t you see them? (can’t you feel them?) by ToAStranger ~ Dope!!! “The summer after El closes the Gate, Steve Harrington goes missing.His car is still in the driveway…“ Mysterious, heartbreaking, creepy…Gives me Nicole Dollanganger vibes. Actually also pure and sweet, and very hopeful and touching. Also Tommy and Carol are freaking adorable

Bite Your Tongue And Choke Yourself To Sleep by trashcangimmick ~ dark and sad and beautiful and hopeful. Steve went through a lot in his life and tries to survive as he can-with bad masochistic coping mechanisms. Getting used to meetin men what likes to break him, he has a big surprise coming in the face of Billy Hargrove……Very sweet and touching story with what I was obessed and waited updates like crazy

Focal Point by Meowmers ~ Billy trying to handle his issues and problems, Steve dealing with his broken heart and nightmares. Billy is an asshole, Steve is a bitch, both stubborn and really CUTE because they get dreamy and flustered and gay. Also life imitates art, cuz in this Billy gets the bite, like, how amazing is that??

[unfortunately-lovestruck]

Havenfall finest in Roaring 20's? Pleeeease?

YES. ABSOLUTELY.

I’ve actually headcanoned this before in my head but I’d completely forgotten about it lmao. But without further ado, here’s HIFL in the Roaring 20’s.

Mackenzie

poor lady, her job is never done

bootlegging is a huge ass problem, and no matter how many sellers/smugglers she catches, it feels as though 3 more pop up after them like a hydra

she isn’t the happiest with Prohibition (after all she does enjoy a healthy bit of alcohol from time to time) but she respects and enforces the law nonetheless

on the bright side though, she’s beaming when she goes into a voting booth for the first time and actually feels like her voice is heard after women finally get suffrage in the US

she’s still waiting for LGBTQ+ people to be protected under the law though, so she isn’t exactly thrilled about that

though comic books don’t really reach their peak until the 40’s-50’s, Mac is proud to say she adored them way before they became huge

loves jazz music, because who can’t? it’s so much fun to listen to (and I swear if any of you make bee movie jokes in the comments I’ll manifest in your houses and kill you myself)

Diego

still a doctor of course

a looooot of alcohol poisoning in his patients

doesn’t like that people don’t respect the law but he ain’t snitching

he can’t snitch anyway, since patient files are private, hippocratic oath and whatnot

honestly, sometimes he felt like the entire decade just wasn’t real

the entire world was scarred from WW1 and the excess opulence and alcohol was more like a universal coping mechanism than anything

but then again, he can’t say he was perfect

since Razi had a bar in a speakeasy (more on that later) Diego still supported him, and even visited sometimes just for the music and atmosphere

but even then, he kept to himself and only really talked to Razi and JD

at least then he didn’t have to worry about people commenting on his red eyes, since they were all too drunk to look too long

Razi

yes, he ran an illegal speakeasy

but was it to be a menace to society or to blatantly disrespect the law? no

he knew Prohibition would only be temporary

in fact, he made multiple bets with other people for how long it would last

he probably won and JD still owes him like $5 (prices were lower back then so they let the money depreciate)

the point is, he knew America wouldn’t commit to this ban for long

he also disagreed with the notion that everyone had to be permanently policed and babied like rowdy teenagers

so he ran a speakeasy, but it was probably one of the safest ones in the country

if anyone got too rough or violent, it was getting shut down, and it was getting shut down quick

trust me, not a lot of people will question a disapproving 6’2 man much

yet despite all this, he was still friends with Mac

he didn’t tell her until after Prohibition though

she knew, she wasn’t dumb

JD

no one did the Charleston like they did, and that is a fact

let’s be honest, they loved speakeasies because it was basically just “hey the law? yeah fuck that” time

after 140 years of society being so morally uptight and strict, the 20’s were the biggest relief they had ever experienced

they could finally wear and say what they want and dance the night away and no one (they cared about) would call them an embarassment or disgrace

they felt light and free, and even with all the underlying problems and unsustainable economy, they just didn’t want it to end

but oh man, they never found sheer anarchy and fun like that until the 70’s punk movement 50 years later, and they still miss it

Vanessa

sadly, she doesn’t get much fun out of life no matter what decade you put her in

vampires are an eternal problem (to her and the Order at least) so there is no lax point in time

also, being a lesbian in the 1920’s was not a good time

but she does get some fun out of TV

it didn’t become popular until the 30’s, but since the Order is funding her and giving her high tech things, a TV isn’t unreasonable for her to have back in the 20’s

she really doesn’t like speakeasies and drinking though

the 20’s were basically a golden era for vampires since so many people just didn’t remember getting bitten the morning after from all the liquor

so if anything, when she found a speakeasy, it was basically a gold mine of vampires

she’d walk in and at least a good fifth of the people were undead

almost went after Diego, but Razi stopped her

since he didn’t drink from live humans and he was a doctor, she lets it slide

basically both Mac and Vanessa just had their hands full the entire decade

Antonio

oh boy

oh boy

y’all know Jay Gatsby, right?

basically think of him, but on crack

not literal crack, but just Gatsby 2.0

bootlegging and owning speakeasies made him disgustingly rich

the 20’s were his prime decade, and nothing came close to it

it had opulence equivalent to 1700’s France without the social etiquette and customs, and also hedonism that he (like JD) never got to experience so openly before

I mean tuxedos, cars, radio, the general aesthetic?? the man was living

imagine growing up in medieval times where sneezing wrong could get you in trouble with the church and finally getting to feel free after 420 years (and yes that number is mathematically correct this literally couldn’t get better)

of course it wasn’t perfect, since he has canonically mentioned being with other men just wasn’t accepted

but if anything, the mentality of “fuck it, we’re living” just assured him that someday, he would be able to be open about his sexuality, and so would everyone else

Bonus! MC

her circumstances are the same

she and Grace are orphaned, and she gives up her dreams so her sister can have a better life

but every weekend, she needs an outlet to relax and let loose

so of course, she finds the speakeasy Razi runs and begs to work there since she needs money for Grace

he lets her work there out of pure understanding and kindness (bless him) just like he did with JD

they actually both do work most of the week

but when Friday hits? shit gets wild

MC would always actually serve people drinks and work the first half of the night, but eventually, Razi would always take over and tell her and JD to go have fun

he knows neither of them are living under the best circumstances, and besides, he doesn’t have anything more urgent to do

so, MC and JD are always competing over who can do the Charleston the best (just like with arcade games in modern times)

JD always wins, but MC is seriously a close second

they dance the night away, and drag Diego into it occasionally (with Razi’s subtle support)

he’s definitely not bad at dancing at all, and occasionally, they can get him to actually smile and even laugh a little bit

as for Mac, MC knows her because she always patrols her neighborhood

though she feels a bit guilty when she talks to her with all the speakeasy business and all, she’s thankful Mac keeps the neighborhood safe for her and especially Grace

she meets Vanessa the night she tries to kill Diego

she, Razi, and JD all form a barricade around the doctor, and don’t let her even come close to him

they convince her to leave him alone, though Razi does most of the talking, and Vanessa eventually does concede

but damn, MC can’t help but think she was hella cute

I mean she feels that way about everyone in Havenfall’s Finest, so nothing’s new there

but one night a guy with slicked back brown hair and red eyes like Diego walks in and oh wow look at that Diego’s shadow warped off into the void that’s weird

he keeps glancing at her throughout the night, you know, in that weird “you have the blood to resurrect my dead sibling but damn you’re hot” kind of way

Razi is offput by him, because he feels like he’s that guy Diego told him about who abandonned him 4 centuries ago

but he has no proof, so Antonio continues to do what he likes in the speakeasy (really he was checking to see what other speakeasies had so he could implement them in his own to make more money)

so in the end, MC’s got 6 possible LI’s around her nonetheless :’)

[maliciouslycreative]

So I’ve mentioned a lot of times over the years that I used to be fandom famous in a small anime fandom and I spent a lot of my time running damage control to an anti however I’ve never actually recounted the whole tale for you all. Buckle up and crack open a lemonade because we’re going on a journey (more under the cut).

The year is 2004, I’m 17, and in my final year of high school. I wrote a lot of fanfic back then, mostly for anime fandoms and around the time I joined Gaia I started posting my fanfic “Several Blows to the Head” which became unexpectedly extremely popular. But before I go forward I feel I should give some back story because some of you will probably get extremely confused very fast otherwise.  

For those of you who don’t know about gaia online let me give you some history. Gaia was pretty much THE SHIT back in the mid to late 2000s. It was an anime themed forum website where you had a little avatar you could dress up.You gained gold by posting, playing mini games, posting in polls, or even just browsing in general. There were hundreds of subforums and in each of them a tonne of active threads. Another feature was the guild system. Basically anyone could create a guild which was pretty much your own themed subforum that  the guild admin could decide the rules and who was able to join as long as they still followed Gaia’s ToS. 

The anime I was into was (Bakuten Shoot) Beyblade, which at the time was an ongoing series. For those unfamiliar with the series a bunch of teenagers use battling tops possessed with the spirits of ancient mythological creatures and even gods to fight each other. Let’s just say it wasn’t winning any awards for amazing writing but it was a lot of fun and I LOVED my small corner of the fandom. It was pretty much your average shonen series of the time which meant that it had a main cast of 5 male characters (with a female lead added in the second season) and then very few minor female characters. The only actual canon ship was only made canon in a post canon addition to the manga that was not even released outside of Japan. So I bet you all are coming to the same conclusion that yes, there was incredibly bad shipping drama. The breakdown of shipping pretty much looked like this

10% slash

70% canon male/OC

20% canon male/canon female

Now to resume our story. I joined Gaia and headed over to the anime forum and found the main Beyblade thread. I posted an introduction and in it made mention that I was a fanfic writer and I liked slash. This was when I met C. I’m not going to drag her name as all of this went down over a decade ago and I hope that she’s grown as a person since then. If any of you are REALLY resourceful I mean the threads still exist. You can go find them and see just how awful it got.  

C was a year older than me and apparently the authority in these parts on all things Beyblade. She was also a writer but in her own words did not write fanfics, she wrote and posted novels. She was pretty well known in the canon/OC circles and had a pretty enthusiastic following. 

So when I came in to that thread and introduced myself I opened a can of worms. I was told that we did not discuss slash ships in this thread because it was not canon and it made some people uncomfortable. And ok, I can see that. It was cool. I was there to have fun and chat with people. I mean anyone that wanted to chat slash I could add on YIM, MSN, or LJ. However, 2 things started driving the knife into the wound.

It was not ok to talk slash but it was perfectly ok for C to discuss in depth her fanfics because it was an OC and obviously did not contradict canon as the stories were post (a currently unfinished) canon

People kept recognising me because my fanfic was exploding in popularity. So people kept bringing up slash and I’d get dragged into it as my fic was usually a catalyst for discussion. 

To keep things from escalating us slash fans decided to make our own thread to talk Beyblade slash. Now, there was some divide in the slash fandom and people pretty much shipped only Kai/Takao or Kai/Rei but for the sake of everyone’s sanity we put our shipping differences aside in the thread and aimed to make it a positive space for everyone. I mean, most of us were multishippers so we tended to just be excited to read anything that wasn’t one of the 9000 OC fics we had to wade through to find any slash. 

Whenever people would come into the main Beyblade thread now if they happened to mention slash they would get an extremely cold message from C if one of us didn’t manage to intervene first and direct the new member to our other thread. 

The other crux of the problem was Kai. Kai was probably the most popular character in the English fandom and Kai was C’s favourite character. She had an extremely specific idea of how people should interpret Kai. If anyone came into the thread and made a post like “I LOVE KAI <3 <3 <3” she would be rather unkind to them making back handed comments about how the person only liked him because he was attractive or a “bad boy” or that if they didn’t have anything to add to the thread they should leave because we didn’t like spamming in the thread. If we ever started character analysis on Kai then C had to have the last word. After all she shared some characteristics with Kai and obviously that meant that she therefore knew him the best. 

You all can probably imagine how well conversations went in this thread. I did my best to kindly welcome people to the thread, redirect them when they needed to be, and tried to calm down discussions when they got too heated. And if things got too bad in the main thread we’d just move to the slash thread and be super excellent to each other. There were days where C became so unbearable that her friends that didn’t even ship slash would come into the slash thread to hang with us because we were just really nice. 

She was also extremely pushy with her fics. Whenever fanfics would come up shed be the first to suggest to anyone that they should read her novels. She even tried it repeatedly on the slash fans. Being completely fed up I one day made her an offer that if she read one of my fics I’d read all of hers. I didn’t even specify which fic. So she could’ve chosen one of my under 5k fics and I would have agreed to read like 200k worth of her fics. She never agreed to this in all the years of me dealing with her. 

The worst part of it all was we couldn’t even really report her for harassment or anything because she was friends with a lot of moderators. The last thing any of us wanted was to get banned over some petty grievance since we’d lose all our hard work to making our avatars look fabulous. 

If the whole mess in the forums wasn’t bad enough there was 1 Beyblade guild and guess who the guild admin was. The atmosphere in said guild could best be described as… tense. Anyone that wasn’t one of C’s rabid followers ran under the constant fear that they’d be booted for saying something that didn’t agree with her narrow view of things. My best friend and I were honestly surprised that she even allowed us into the guild. But she probably couldn’t afford to outright deny us as I was a pretty prominent writer in the english slash community then and my friend was also a prominent writer and artist. 

Eventually we got tired of walking on eggshells constantly so some of the other slash fans and myself pooled our resources together and I created a second Beyblade guild. Our message was simple, we were just there to be a safe haven for ALL fans of the series. We were expecting pretty much the people from the slash thread and then maybe a handful of other people to join.

The entire fandom on Gaia over the course of a couple days abandoned C’s guild and joined ours. Whereas before we created ours hers was on a steady traffic decline our guild was BOOMING with posts. 

Unfortunately the oldest mail I have is from 2007 on Gaia so I don’t have any screenshots of this but C was understandably upset that we’d sniped her entire user base. We did try to smooth it over with her saying that that was never our intention but it ended with her sending me a message that literally said “ok, you win” and this is something I still think about over a decade later. It forever shifted how I perceive antis. 

My whole time in fandom I’d just been here trying to have a good time. I didn’t intend to become fandom famous. I didn’t intend to be in charge of one of the most active Beyblade forums at the time. I wasn’t trying to change C’s mind or fight her. And this whole time she’d thought I’d been fighting against her because we had different views on the series. 

The last episode of Beyblade G Revolution aired in September 2005, her guild officially closed in 2006 and the fandom eventually started drifting into other things. I stayed active in it until probably 2008 when personal stuff drew me out of fandom and then officially took a leave from fandom in 2009 when my best friend passed away. I don’t know what happened to C but I know she was still writing her novels at that point. Whenever I see fandom drama brewing I always think back to her and how frustrated she used to make me and then I think of the “ok, you win” and I’m just left feeling sad for her and people like her. I just don’t understand how people can let their hearts be so consumed by hatred and self righteousness that it poisons their entire fandom experience. I guess that’s a conversation for another time.

One final comment that I would like to make here since I didn’t know where to fit it in above is that my one friend was completely DONE with C one day and we were talking to each other and she was like “she acts like her fics save lives in Africa!” and honestly this is the most perfect description of C’s attitude. Like good for her for believing in her writing but there is sometimes a point where you need to chill out with self promotion. 

[lagroupie]

Interview : Rob Heron & The Tea Pad Orchestra

The band a few minutes before going on stage, through my Olympus Trip!

As part of their European tour, Rob and his gang were passing by Zurich for a concert at the epic venue El Lokal last month. I was really looking forward to the show, especially since their new album had just come out- and the songs of Soul Of My City sounded even better live. It was really difficult not to dance!

Before the concert, I sat down with Rob at the bar and we had a little chat about the band’s life in Newcastle, being a 21st-Century musician with 20th Century influences, Soul Of My City, red wine and more.

Many thanks to El Lokal, Rob Heron and his management for their warm welcome!

Before we talk about your music, I wanted to get to know you a little bit better. What’s your life like in Newcastle?

Rob Heron: Well, I’m originally from the West Coast of North England, a place called Cumbria. I moved to Newcastle to study music, which is where I met most of the rest of the band- that was about 10 years ago, and I’ve done music ever since really! I started this band about 7 years ago.

Do you guys manage to live off your music now?

Pretty much! A couple of the boys teach music privately. Paul our drummer is a lecturer at university, and I spend my time DJing and making coffee in a café when I’m not doing this! So it’s mainly making music, but you have to make money some other ways sometimes.

I’d like to talk about your new album Soul of My City- I read in some interviews that you got inspired by the gentrification of Newcastle, is that true?

I wouldn’t say “inspired”, but it’s definitely an issue yeah! (laughs) So there’s a place where we go drinking a lot and play a lot of music and there’s a lot of buildings being pulled down- mostly old buildings, and venues closing down because of developments and expensive hotels or student housing. Which in my opinion doesn’t bring a lot of culture. It’s killing off the exciting atmosphere to an area.

It’s like in London right? London bands told me the same thing.

Yeah, everywhere. They’ve closed down music venues because of complaints from flats next door that were built after the music venue. So it’s a lyrical inspiration, but I wouldn’t say the word “inspired”! (laughs)

Shot with my good old canon.

I also wanted to know more about the first track, Let’s Go Back In Time. How did it come to life?

Hmm… I take a lot of notes on my phone when I have song ideas, and one of the notes just said “let’s go back in time, man”. I don’t know why it came into my head one day, because I can’t remember writing the note. The song originally had an extra verse that we never recorded, because the song is about how good music was in the past- for me anyway. And the last verse was summing it up for me I guess, because I don’t think politics and equality were better back then, but the music was. But I just decided not to include that verse, because it made it a little bit too complicated. I’d like to go back in time for the music, but I enjoy the 21st Century for its growing addressing of issues and equality!

That’s interesting, because a lot of reviews describe your music as if it didn’t belong in the 21st Century. I actually disagree- I think it really belongs in the present times!

This is true, people think it’s old-fashioned music. But this generation of people has the ability to listen to music from the 1920s, 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s… So why wouldn’t we be influenced by all of it? And lyrically…

…It’s very now.

I think it’s very now. Which is something I’m trying to do, because I’m not from 1953 Tennessee- I’m from Newcastle in the 21st Century. It’s born to keep good music from the past alive in a modern way I think.

Yeah, and I think nostalgia is more “now” than ever. For example, I see so many people coming back to vinyls, trying to live in a more authentic or sustainable way to fight climate change.

Yeah, and if ain’t broken, don’t fix it! Old clothes, old records, they’re still there so you may as well use them instead of buying loads of new plastic stuff and throwing it away next year.

Could you please tell me a bit about my favorite track, There's a Hole (Where My Pocket Used To Be)? I also really like how the music video fits with the music. How did you get the idea for the melody?

I collect a lot of records, and there’s a track by Fred Carter called What Am I Gonna Do With Anna. That is basically a minor key verse and then it goes to the major key for the chorus, which is what happens in There’s A Hole (Where My Pocket Used To Be). So I guess that was the initial inspiration. But I wanted a song like a cowboy film theme, because I love all the spaghetti western music. That’s why we use a theremin, male backing vocals… And the thing is, that’s all of the band’s favorite track on the new album! And a lot of people’s favorite track that I have spoken to. The video is of course loads of fun, and we couldn’t have made any other video apart from our own spaghetti western film! But instead of pretending to be in a desert, we thought it would be fun to do it in Newcastle.

Now I have a weird question. If you had to drink one thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose between red wine and tomato juice?

Hmm… I would choose red wine of course! I don’t drink a lot of tomato juice.

Okay! The least healthy option. (laughs)

That’s the least healthy option, but I enjoy to drink red wine! I would probably die without any water. But tomato juice gives me an awful heart burn, whereas red wine does not! (laughs)

What can we expect from Rob Heron and the Tea Pad Orchestra in the future?

It’s an interesting question. I’m hoping to record this summer. It will be along the same lines of the last album, but maybe more of the 60s rhythm and blues sound, and I might start playing electric guitar.

It’s like you’re going further and further in time! (laughs)

Yeah! We might stop at psychedelic and funk in the 70s. But yeah, I think we’ll do – maybe – an EP before the next album.

https://www.facebook.com/robheronandtheteapadorchestra/

[t--o--f--u-blog]

☼☼☼☼☼ also think tank a white lecturer using the n-word when quoting literature in a lecture? I think she used it once outside of quotation as well certainly not meant in a disrespectful way, just seems unnecessary

☐☐☐☐☐ better have a justification at least but if you just use it out of the blue it always seems like some attempt at provocation 'i can say this because my interests are purely academic'

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm we're reading uncle tom's cabin, so it's hard to avoid

☐☐☐☐☐ should only be quoted verbatim if absolutely necessary, if there's no alternative I think

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah seems like she could have avoided it pretty easily

☐☐☐☐☐ if she's making no acknowledgement of the word's relationship to her privilege, that's rly not good

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah she's older so there might just be an outdated perspective there 'I'm just quoting the text, it was anti-slavery so I'm fine' sort of mentality maybe?

☐☐☐☐☐ still she would know about the contemporary attitude to the word and she should at least mention that! ugh like it doesn't sound malicious or super super racist, but eh

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah I feel iffffy about it

☐☐☐☐☐ should mention it!

☼☼☼☼☼ Trying to work out if I should send email and if so how to word it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ be interesting to actually properly discuss it

☐☐☐☐☐ yep

☍☍☍☍☍ heck I’d be interested to know more of a history of the word basically teach properly why its offensive

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah, I might bring it up in the tutorial different teacher, but maybe good discussion

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that seems appropriate i'd love to hear how that goes

☍☍☍☍☍ uhhh there was someone who used it at Bar Oussou  the host reallllly should’ve said something and I normally would but just too tired for confrontation

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah ☐☐☐☐☐ was telling me Sounded very cringe

☐☐☐☐☐ v unfortunate most disappointed in yhe host tbh

☐☐☐☐☐ he maybe had a old-worldy attitude to it and didn't mind or was too cowardly lol which do u think?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think he thought it was in the context of the poem she didn’t use it to degrade someone directly, but the word itself is degrading

☐☐☐☐☐ ugh but the poem is in the context of fuckin oussou yep ppl need to have a think before using words

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think its great to have a stage to do emotional work, but it can cross a line into normalising shitty white behaviour

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I went to a coloured school so I can’t b racist wah wah wah

☐☐☐☐☐ and you have to consider your audience if your rant is dehumanising or brushes aside/causes suffering u gotta reconsider felt pretty ashamed on behalf of bartender/various black audience members not saying that dumb white shit would be acceptable with a different audience, but her obliviousness was kinda astounding

☼☼☼☼☼ wow yeah cringefest

☍☍☍☍☍ lol spoken word scene as a whole can b so lame haha rings true to why I/we left

☐☐☐☐☐ mm so macho! that's what I liked about talkbox some sensitivity there, gentleness

☍☍☍☍☍ still, I just wish people read more lok *lol

☐☐☐☐☐ yep I wish I read more

☍☍☍☍☍ like the stylistic range is generally pretty lame

☐☐☐☐☐ I guess that's why anyone reads mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ I wish I read more too

☐☐☐☐☐ hahahaha

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ don’t mean to shit on everyon, I just think the scene as a whole and the conception of poetry is lacklustre - it doesn’t seem like the time for poetry, sometimes

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ppl too distracted by netflix uwu sounds like phones but too much

☐☐☐☐☐ doesn't seem like the time for art, sometimes! hahhh

☍☍☍☍☍ its definitely a time for music

☼☼☼☼☼ I think there's a place for poetry It's just raps and memes

☍☍☍☍☍ yeh but I play dat long game there might not b a place now but I’mma fkn make one whether you like it or not lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Oh yeah fair go 4 it

☐☐☐☐☐ loll

☍☍☍☍☍ I just mean that I think 'poetry' has evolved into other forms, and now the traditional form is struggling to find a place I mean does anyone pay attention to Victorian satirical cartoons? I don’t I think it’s also tho that the low brow is more apparent in the moment, the high brow more apparent from a distance the shit sinks, basically

☼☼☼☼☼ elaborate?

☍☍☍☍☍ time brings forward higher brow material while a lot of lower brow stuff falls back or like there’s an art for getting through your days, and there’s an art for elaborate long form spiritual liberation

☼☼☼☼☼ so u don't mind about a lack of audience now if your work has staying power?

☍☍☍☍☍ different works have different digestion time and yes that is what I’m saying

☼☼☼☼☼ hmmmmmmm

☍☍☍☍☍ hmmmmmmmm?

☐☐☐☐☐ personally I don't know whether I'm prioritising the reception of my work or its value to me right now i feel poetry/art in general are useful tools for thinking about the world useful philosophical tools i guess and idk whether i'm learning for the sake of my own knowledge/making 'better' art or learning so what I put out into the world is better received I suppose the two aren't mutually exclusive but yeah - feeling fairly indifferent to the idea of creating work that will persist right now part of me feels more comfortable with being lost forever lol or at least that I should become comfortable with that, bc that is what will happen inevitably

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think in this atmosphere of complete denial of the arts as an important component of society, as well as the stigmatisation of ritual and other mystical practices that used to house what we now might describe as an artist, its important that we follow our intuition rather than give in to a system that routinely prevents us having access to basic resources like I want to be there for whoever is there when this period comes to end and those peoples are looking for anything to rudder them, whether or not I’m alive

☐☐☐☐☐ you want to add to the cultural record?

☍☍☍☍☍ I want provide a map for future generations is how I would put it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm how do you feel one can ensure the persistence of their own work? or are you just hoping it'll be around for others I suppose whether or not anything lasts is out of ur control past a certain point

☍☍☍☍☍ for one I make an effort to give away a lot of work

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I also store it all and make sure that that stockpile is kept w care but I also think there’s something to be said that I try and operate within many pre-existing canons I also it’s important to use the more meme-y, short stay work to bring attention to the slower works yeah, re: canons, like tanka and before that wakka as poetic forms stem back as far as a thousand years - perhaps more by putting myself in conversation with the ancients... idk it feels a bit like entering a cultural refrigerator haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ sometimes I find it better to see my individual works as modules that make up a whole more prescient than its parts (Morton lolz) soo... maybe my work won’t carry the same weight until I finish, so to speak who knowsss but this how I think about it lol

☐☐☐☐☐ best to try and contribute something I spose rather than do nothing w ur resources

☍☍☍☍☍ I’m weird with this shit u don’t have to be

☐☐☐☐☐ mm it seems fairly simple to me and not that weird

☍☍☍☍☍ not everyone should spend their life tending their gravestone it’s a job for a particular type of person, and I am it

☐☐☐☐☐ but in a sense everyone does anyway everyone does things with the future in mind or without it in mind I suppose

☐☐☐☐☐ and i guess that influences what you leave when you die eheh, whether you do it consciously or unconsciously

☍☍☍☍☍ I just am particularly stubborn that I have something to offer - I think its partially a result of being denied that a lot in school, I found other ways to have social bonds that were more... non linear bonds with past peoples, and inadvertently bonds with future people

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I find it frustrating that its seen as arrogant to suggest your work should be read after you die - if anything its remarkably humble as I'm acknowledging that I will never properly see the fruits of my labour it's a ridiculously isolating position to find oneself in, where your best friends - books, music, content - have no form of human intimacy with you and completely defy all survivalistic, lizard-brain humanity plus you're just on a total different dimension from most people you meet

☐☐☐☐☐ mm you're in a very specific position here

☍☍☍☍☍ lol goodluck catching up ☼☼☼☼☼

☼☼☼☼☼ unrelated btw

(☼☼☼☼☼ posts a meme in chat)

☍☍☍☍☍ see y'all @ da rally (in reference to the meme)

☐☐☐☐☐ where and when is this? oh oops thought you meant a real one

☼☼☼☼☼ hahaha

☍☍☍☍☍ xD

☼☼☼☼☼ structurally is the meme ok ? took the photo the other day, and just added the text.

☍☍☍☍☍ yes are u going to weigh in on the conversation tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ nah not really

☍☍☍☍☍ meme fine

☼☼☼☼☼ I have so little to add

☍☍☍☍☍ well hm why make memes? why not write novel? do memes have staying power?

☐☐☐☐☐ it's a question of what timescale is important to you at any given time maybe

☍☍☍☍☍ oh absolutely - not trying to infer a hierarchy here, I just think there are different approaches for different problems

☐☐☐☐☐ sometimes I'll say something to someone so they'll remember it for tomorrow, sometimes I'll say something to someone and hope they'll remember forever lol mm I don't think I care about staying power that much

☐☐☐☐☐ memes have such a short lifetime, they're like cultural mayflies haha

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah defs

☍☍☍☍☍ why tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Because the art itself can date while still inspiring change

☍☍☍☍☍ yeah so using it pragmatically like a single use tissue

☼☼☼☼☼ If you create something short lived, it (with the help of other artists producing similar work) is able to push art and society in a specific direction The butterfly effect I guess

☍☍☍☍☍ it's true that you have more effect in the current conversation

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ but that conversation draws intensively on a language formed by the ancients so the two are dependent on each other, a back and forth

☐☐☐☐☐ and that's dependent on their work's longevity?

☍☍☍☍☍ not following ur question

☐☐☐☐☐ not following your point haha hmm

☼☼☼☼☼ so you're suggesting a works longevity is crucial in that it helps reinforce and update the ancient language in which short term work of the future will be influenced by?

☐☐☐☐☐ mm also - what if of all the work you make, it's only a meme that survives the passage of time?

☍☍☍☍☍ basically... like you're just reiterating points that have been made more in depth in 'higher' brow culture - that's definitely how I feel when writing raps

☐☐☐☐☐ like Roman graffiti surviving on the walls or whatever

☍☍☍☍☍ did you a hear copy of the I Ching, the Chinese numerology classic more than a thousand years old, was found in the 70s and had a heap more sections and a different order? effectively completely changing the understanding of the I Ching gotta get those nice lead storage chambers ayyyyy ahahaha it was found buried in a coffin, obvs haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ a lot of Chinese philosophers only exist in so much as someone else described them

☼☼☼☼☼ But what does that changing of contexts of that piece actually mean for us? Is updated Ching from the coffin helping us in any way?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think for me finding the I Ching and looking over it is like a person in a thousand years finding a functional iPhone it gives great insight into human impulses regardless of time and offers a way of writing the past a new, which in turn presents a new future (thinking of the cowboy article you sent me) reconceptualizing the past IS the future look at 'Make America Great Again' or calls to restore the caliphate both are founded on histories that have more to do with our current state than the actual happenings of the past

☼☼☼☼☼ I do see where you're coming from I like the idea that it's important to preserve our work for understand the past better And I hope that someone in the future will have a clearer understanding of our time through your well preserved works But what fucking future is it

☍☍☍☍☍ haha but like looking back we see people been asking that for a veeery long time I get it seems on a new scale but we're on a new scale too

☼☼☼☼☼ It does seem that yes Also if we do survive and keep on teching on

☍☍☍☍☍ I'm for an integration of the human/natural binary where we properly acknowledge our mutual codependency, the earth and humanity that is

☼☼☼☼☼ Are we even going to be translatable? Is the functioning iPhone found by the future person going to even be able to be translated? Or will it be meaningless because everyone is already part of the grid

☍☍☍☍☍ where artificially effecting the climate for the benefit of 'nature' isn't seen as strange but completely akin to Aboriginal burn back practices

☐☐☐☐☐ i guess it's productive to hope that it will be translatable

☍☍☍☍☍ we've always interfered in the running of nature

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ehhh idk we translated fucking hieroglyphics

☼☼☼☼☼ Or future tech can look into the past and someone is watching our lives as we type this now, constantly being understood through our context in a way we can't comprehend through our recording processes shrugs

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean yeah, imagine if the internet was even vaguely archived

☼☼☼☼☼ You probably have a better understanding of how the future will pan out than I do tho

☍☍☍☍☍ even if 0.1 % was kept, it would be a massive resource

☼☼☼☼☼ No sass intended there, I'm sincere

☍☍☍☍☍ lol idk I just try to see a bigger picture and it keeps me calm remember me old saying? we survived the plague and nukes lol

☼☼☼☼☼ I just don't see the issue with creating short term work, especially if it is preserved

☍☍☍☍☍ oh neither do I

☼☼☼☼☼ Like a meme may have more impact than a novel rn

☐☐☐☐☐ well it could be argued that we're yet to survive nukes but I see your point impact on various timescales

☼☼☼☼☼ I've heard the plague make be thinking of making a comeback too haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ oh duh peasantry is fully hip rn

☐☐☐☐☐ but like

☍☍☍☍☍ bring back the boils, they look great with my Balenciaga sneakers

☐☐☐☐☐ lol bubonic chic

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty close to heroin chic tbh haha

☍☍☍☍☍ not jking that was tb

☐☐☐☐☐ but like, I don't find a huge amount of solace in the fact that we survived the plague

☍☍☍☍☍ "The Victorians romanticized the disease and the effects it caused in the gradual build to death. For decades, many beauty standards emulated or highlighted these effects. And as scientists gained greater understanding of the disease and how it was spread, the disease continued to keep its hold on fashion. and the severity of the corsets was known to harm the lungs in such a way that would increase the likelihood of transmission LOOOL

☐☐☐☐☐ mm Balenciaga look out idk it's a question of what capacity we survive in

☼☼☼☼☼ lollllll

☐☐☐☐☐ quite depressing to think about

☍☍☍☍☍ eating disorders have a pretense

☐☐☐☐☐ what if ecocide leaves a few insular eco fascist regimes who gradually diminish over centuries always engaged in pointless wars of attrition with one another lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean you could probably say the same thing of colonial regimes now

☐☐☐☐☐ just because we can survive, doesn't mean my outlook should b at all rosy :((

☍☍☍☍☍ point is its a big ol' world that has plenty of room for pain AND love any future pain you think is imminent probably already is happening, and nonetheless breakfast tasted good this morning

☼☼☼☼☼ 'The hipster middle class would dress with raggedy beards and large jackets and refuse to use deodorant, perhaps to reflect the look of people suffering from homelessness at the time. It is suspected that this made them less likely to be hired, and therefore more likely to become homeless themselves.'  ☍☍☍☍☍ ahahaha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that's true hahhh

☼☼☼☼☼ Planning on making this into a full essay. Might not be popular now, but I think it has staying power? Soz for shitposting haha

☍☍☍☍☍ I was talking with ☲☲☲☲☲ a while back, and something struck me - she said, "I never thought this age would have its own fleet of particular medical conditions." (or something like that lol, translated via my nerd brain)

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah that didn't quite sound like her But that sentiment is great

☍☍☍☍☍ 'fleet'

☼☼☼☼☼ In that ofc there is, but also wow yeah ofc!

☐☐☐☐☐ mmm hahh these conversations should be recorded so we can all think about em without scrolling up endlessly

☼☼☼☼☼ I do like the idea of people reading these works in the future tho

☐☐☐☐☐ and also so that they can be preserved for 10,000+ years of course

☼☼☼☼☼ In the same way we read the letters sent between dead artists now

☐☐☐☐☐ mm very true

☍☍☍☍☍ mmm

☐☐☐☐☐ messenger is not a particularly stable storage medium and also is more vulnerable to third party scrutiny although the fact we're reading artists letters now means that medium is also pretty fucking vulnerable to scrutiny lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I fucking found the word! (sorry was searching for it so hard) Neurasthenia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurasthenia

☼☼☼☼☼ Americanitis lol

☍☍☍☍☍ uhh the page doesn't rly talk about this, but its like a condition of over-working effectively, and people would try and get prescribed the pills to treat it as a way of signalling they were a dedicated worker its total hokey

☐☐☐☐☐ wow yeah you mentioned this a while back

☼☼☼☼☼ oh I've heard a similar thing in Japan were workers will pretend to fall asleep at their desks to show how hard they're working No idea the trust behind it tho

☍☍☍☍☍ to this day, "In Japan, shinkei-suijaku is treated with Morita therapy involving mandatory rest and isolation, followed by progressively more difficult work, and a resumption of a previous social role. The diagnosis is sometimes used as a disguise for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and mood disorders." a dignified mental illness uwu none of that lower class shit I'm a classy fuck with money, I don't get the same mental conditions as the poor lolol reminds me of now: I don't have shitty parents, I just have adhd (not to deligitimise all uses of adhd, just over diagnosed)

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm i feel u yes this has been a wild ride

☍☍☍☍☍ yes I’m leaving to get late lunch uwu have a good day in this cosmic spider web lololol

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ Like the burning of this charcoal fire, our years too will soon expire Kobayashi Issa listening to Krista Tippet talk with Maria Popova, this particular phrase resonated with our conversation: we live in a world where disruption over-fetishised; we need cultural stewardship to help along new waves of disruption

☼☼☼☼☼ How would u define cultural stewardship in a practical sense?

☍☍☍☍☍ caring for the legacy of those past as a means of refreshing their insight for a new age a very straightforward example would b the importance of new translations, in this regard - as our understanding and depth of connection to Japanese society has deepened, so too have our translations dusting off the books so to speak in some sense I see that in our music too or reappropriating to a new context

☼☼☼☼☼ Well remasters are a time terry literal example Fuck

☍☍☍☍☍ time terry

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty* not time terry lol

☼☼☼☼☼ lime berry yeah exactly

☼☼☼☼☼ Slime Jerry

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean rereleasing is an obvs example mhm but more abstract examples are how I’ve exported into both your brains Bridle/Steyerl/Haraway via conversation and art lolol I’m helping it move from one place to another same w Zappa lol

☐☐☐☐☐ also - looking after artist friends being generous I feel these are acts of pre-emptive cultural stewardship

☍☍☍☍☍ haha yeah definitely different time scales it could function on

☐☐☐☐☐ looking after and maintain communities

☍☍☍☍☍ hosting open mics lol helping teach ppl poetry lollll

☐☐☐☐☐ not allowing hate speech to creep into open mics lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Truuuuu Or anywhere for that matter

☐☐☐☐☐ not becoming so dusty that you actually have a detrimental impact on cultural progression

☍☍☍☍☍ I think religions only exist in so far as they have active practitioners

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☼☼☼☼☼ Tru

☍☍☍☍☍ I think my sense is, in religion, this same argument plays out with orthodoxy versus mysticism Maintenance of buildings is in there too for religion People being assigned paid positions as the keepers and givers of religious knowledge oh yeah thinking a lot here of Shanzai, ☐☐☐☐☐, and the idea of an object as a lived practice

☐☐☐☐☐ when home I'm gonna do my best to archive this conversation mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ you’re going to steward our conversation bout stewardship ...

☐☐☐☐☐ this is all going in

☍☍☍☍☍ ...the tv where I am says “The comedian getting behind ‘Know Thy Nuts’” and there are big walnuts on the screen

☐☐☐☐☐ ???????

☍☍☍☍☍ “I didn’t realise chemotherapy would be such great comedic material!”

☐☐☐☐☐ ¿¿¿¿¿¿

☼☼☼☼☼ Huhhhh

☍☍☍☍☍ lol highly recommend https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054

[fakedeepplantjerker]

self fic rec

@louandhazaf​ tagged me in the self fic rec meme to rec five of your own fics. Well, I only have four fics, if you don’t count my little WTGH sequel one-shots as separate fics, which I don’t really. But I’ll put one of them in here anyway to flesh it out.

1. Welcome to Gilmore’s Hollow - 60k, chaptered - my Harry/Louis Gilmore Girls AU, featuring Louis as a single dad whose daughter is about to leave for university, and Harry running the town bakery (of course) in the Luke Danes role. Writing it was a lot of fun and a huge learning experience, so even though there’s plenty I’d change if I wrote it today, I’m still very proud of it. No question that it’s my favorite of everything I’ve published so far. Critics say it’s “sweet”, “funny”, “kind”, and “true to the spirit of Gilmore Girls”. 

2.  One man, washed up - 1k - this is a prequel to WTGH that focuses on Harry shortly before he first met Louis. It has the least hits of anything I’ve written, I guess because there’s no relationship in it, but it’s actually my favorite of the appendices I wrote to WTGH. I was attempting to write something moody and atmospheric so it’s a bit different from all my other stuff. I also like it because it gives you a glimpse into Harry’s POV and it gives you a little peek into things that Louis doesn’t really know about or understand in WTGH. 

3.  The worst burglar I've ever heard of - 2.5 k. Remember that Tumblr post about a burglary where the burglar was so depressed by the state of the guy’s apartment that he brought him furniture? Yeah, this is a Harry/Louis meet-cute one-shot based on that. So it’s not that original but honestly I think it’s delightful and I’ve re-read it several times. (It also more kudos than WTGH, which ???? slightly insulting, considering I labored on WTGH for months and this one I literally wrote in an hour at work, mainly as a writing exercise, but OK, whatever, it’s nice that people have liked it!)

4.  (re)set the tone - 3k - Harry and Louis are good friends. Harry occasionally asks Louis to pose as his boyfriend when they go out - sometimes he just wants to drink or dance without getting hit on. Featuring boys ignoring their feelings, accidentally dating your best friend, and figuring out how to actually date your best friend.  

5.  Any place you'll allow - 4k - established relationship, canon-ish PWP, in which Harry and Louis go snowshoeing and have sex in the woods. The existence of this is very embarrassing. Why did I publish it? (Ugh, it’s totally cute though. It’s also really like 70% banter and fluff, 30% smut. It’s really too many non-sexy words to just be PWP but too sexy to just be fluff. Well, I like it anyway.)

I’m pretty sure all my writer friends have been tagged in this already. Maybe not @elsi-bee? I don’t think you have a ton of fics either but hey, why not, if you wanna!

[miyu-hyperfixates]

Train attendant!MDZS AU (part 1)

So I’m currently reading a C novel called Card Room. Which is basically the MC and ML having to go through several survival/puzzle/escape/mystery rooms. And the arc I’m reading right now is about murders occurring on a three-days trip train and the two main characters have to investigate and solve them. In real life, one is a forensic doctor and the other one is a police investigator, so it’s pretty easy for them. In the context of the room though they are impersonating train attendants.

And at some point after discovering the first victim, the forensic doctor rattled a bunch of medical facts and the witnesses around him where like “???” and one of them even went like “Are train attendants really that amazing nowadays? You know medicine?!”

So then a plot bunny emerged in my mind about an universe where aboard a train all staffs are actually hidden (or not so hidden) badasses... Like if you’re familiar with the TV tropes terminology they are all either  Ambiguously Trained or Almighty Janitors.  And because my mind always come back some way or another to MDZS nowadays.

So imagine the MDZS characters... It might be that after canon, all of the characters for some reasons miraculously came back to life and all the cast managed to reach immortality. Or that all of them are actually the reincarnation of the canon characters and remember their past lives (and got the same skills/abilities). Anyway, no matter the reasons, they are all chilling in the modern areas and for some reasons are actually all ‘working’ as staff members of this special train.

Except none of them actually bother to hide their skills or even try to appear normal... Some do try to at least do their jobs but well, with more or less success depending on the person ...So of course pure chaos and mayhem follow!

[Note, this is written in a sort of outsider perspective... So most of the time I use identifiers while referring to characters. The parts in brackets are mostly the thoughts/reactions of the passenger witnessing the general craziness of the MDZS’s characters....

Note 2: Also this is supposed to be pure crack, so please do note take anything seriously. ] 

Coach 1 &16 - the Driver coaches

So one of the thing a passenger on the MDZS Express might notice that the driver carriages are actual very long compared to standard ones. They are like half the length of a passenger carriage, which can usually house up to twenty rows of seats. What does the driver needs such a huge space?  

It is a staff only area so passengers are not allowed to access it. But periodically passengers sitting near the door would able to hear a loud “swooshing” and “thumping” sounds, as if someone was violently swinging a baseball bat in there.

Only few staff members are seen venturing into there. And the driver is hardly seen by anyone.

Most of the time it’s a very handsome man wearing all white clothes with a constant serene smile on his face, who’ll gentle knock on the door carrying foods into the driving carriage. The 1m90 driver will then open the door and welcome the man in, a very soft expression on his usually stern and scary face.

Occasionally a short attendant with a vermilion mark on his forehead, wearing a crisp and sharp uniform (he is probably the only one wearing the proper attendant uniform) and looking very aggravated will knock on the door. Compared as to when the man in white walked in, the atmosphere was definitively full of aggression and tension.

The few times the driver decided to leave his coach, his default expression seemed to be “I’m going to beat someone to death” scowl or something... and the passengers will witness this huge ass man carrying an equally huge ass fake (”It must be fake right? Who’ll allow a driver to carry such a weapon?!”) saber on his back strode down the aisle....the first time it happens all the passengers collectively froze in fear... Random passenger A: terrorist?! Is this a terrorist attack?! Are we all going to die?!

But after a while they got used to it and soon realized that they were always two outcomes to this situation. The terrorist  driver will either disappear for forty to sixty minutes and then come back significantly less tensed. Or he’ll come back less than fifteen minutes later dragging with him a wailing man and muttering something about training. The door will close behind them with a huge slam and then screams of distress could be distinctively heard from inside. (”Is this a murder? Do we need to call the police?!!!”)   

If you’re courageous enough to try to talk to him, when you see him walk by... Don’t ask him for the arrival times, or information about the stations and so on, he’ll just look blankly at you and say “How should I know? Go ask the short bastard.” (Aren’t you the driver of this train?!!!) [By the way if you ask him where the train is going, he’ll answer something like “north”]

Coach 15 - the staff coach

This is also a staff only areas, containing the staff’s offices and beds.

According to some staff members the cabines are soundproof. When asked why they would need such a thing, most of the attendants would shudder violently and mutter something about “everyday”. 

What nearby passengers use to describe this coach is “excessively loud”, “occasionally explosive”, “might cause the entire nearby carriage to shake from the shockwave of whatever is going on in here” and “believe me you don’t want to know”.

So let’s keep it at that. 

Coach 2 -  first-class seat coach

This is actually one of the most low key coach? Apart from being next to the driver carriage (and the drama that comes with it) there isn’t actually much excitement there.

For some reasons this seem to be the less popular coach? Only first-timers (who can afford it) would usually buy those types of tickets.

Recurrent passengers would pick up other coaches, not because it’s too expensive but because this coach is “kinda boring” 

Coach 3&4 - business-class seat coach

Those two coaches are managed by three persons: a married couple and another woman (who seems to be a close friend/sister of the wife?). All of them are wearing Tang dynasty clothes and they looked so classy in it! As if coming straight out of an ancient period drama.

The wife especially is very beautiful, she looks to be in her thirties but she’s actually the mother of the restaurant cook and the scary guy who is always scowling and whose job is unknown, and the adoptive mother of the bartender of the bar. She is also the grandmother of the two young waiters... which made her closer to sixty(”?!” “what is this witchcraft?” “Actually what kind of supreme good genes go through this family?!”)   

By the way... the other female attendant, her close friend? She is the other grandmother of the rich looking waiter in the restaurant car. And of fucking course she looked to be in her mid-thirty. (WTF)

This coach is actually quite popular? One of the reasons is of course because the two beautiful ladies attracted a lot of admirers.

But really like 70% of them are here because they want to witness the show. This coach is known as the scums lashing coach. If anyone dares to do anything improper or is particularly misbehaving, the two kickass ladies will strike them down either with their sharp tongues or with their even sharper martial skills (if the person in question tries to use force) .

It doesn’t matter if the opponent is a 2 meter mountain of muscles, they will knock them down as if it was a troublesome fly.

Regulars with particularly scummy acquaintances  would book this coach tickets hoping that they will act out of hand and be taught a lesson.

Misbehaving and very rude passengers from other coach will also be bumped up or down to the business class by the other attendants. Some of them are probably thinking that they are lucky.... but oh boy are they wrong.     

Meanwhile the husband is just serenely drinking tea in the background... Occasionally he’d ask if they need help getting rid of the trash on the floor.

Coach 5 to 8 - second-class seat coaches

Those coaches’ attendants are probably one of the weirdest combination of personalities.

There’s one man dressed in white who looked super innocent and clueless about basically everything. He is very kind and nice... but don’t try to ask him anything more that the layout of the rows.

Everywhere this man goes, there is always going to be another man looming behind him. This man is dressed completely in black and looks very serious and sorta gloomy. However his face will soften significantly whenever the white dressed man looks at him.

Another attendant from this coach is a blind young girl, carrying a walking stick. She is irreverent sometimes downright rude with a huge potty mouth and for some reasons she’ll always manage to whack the legs of the people making fun of her with her stick. And no assholes she doesn’t care if you want to go complain to her boss. 

And then there’s the psychopath. For some reasons right in the middle of showing you to your seat, or answering one of your question, he’ll randomly take out a knife a play with it, while smiling creepily and staring at you, as if he was picturing how you’ll look with your intestine out of your body.

At this point, the blind girl would smoothly walk over apologize, “I’m sorry he didn’t take his medicine yet.” and out of the blue she’ll whacked him hard in the head with her stick (hard enough that he lost consciousness). “here you go, please enjoy your travel.” Then for good measures she’ll kick him when he’s still down and walk away.

Also because those four coaches house most of the train seats, statistically speaking this is also where the vermilion guy will be. And so, more often than not, you’ll witness the train driver stomping forward and start a fight with the short guy. And whoa is it wild and aggressive. Despite behind a whole head shorter than the driver, he’ll still bite back without fear and words like “strangling to death” or “dismembering” would be throw around.

When it happens the blind attendant would heave a huge exasperated sigh and take out an electronic device before making a general announcement via the train speakers; “To smiley face, meat-head and his royal pain-in-the-ass dimpleness are causing trouble again, please come to couch 5 and deal with them before someone lose their heads because of their bullshits.”

Then less than five minutes later, the man dressed in white would stride in very peacefully, smoothly insert himself between the two fighters and then easily pick them up by the back collar, one in each hand, like particularly misbehaving kitten. (”WTF?!!!! How strong is that guy?!”) He’ll then proceed to walk toward the nearest cupboard and throw them in before locking it and placing a weird looking talisman on the door. (”.........” “Are you exorcising them? What the hell?”)

And for twenty whole minutes no sounds could be heard from the cupboard despite the periodic shockwave on the door as if someone was violently knocking on it.

Two minutes after the ‘knocking’ on the door stopped and then it was cut neatly in half. (”.....”) Allowing the two previously very aggravated people to escape from the cupboard. For some reasons though they looked significantly calmer (”Maybe they fought it out?” “Yeah, sure, that’s what happened”).     

Of course before anyone could react, a youth wearing heavy make-up ran in and wailed, “Nie-zongzhu why do you keep doing this?!! Don’t you know how to use the door? This is the tenth one this week.” The so-called meat-head: Ah... My bad. His royal major pain-in-the-ass dimpleness: Don’t worry, Xuanyu, the cost of the door will be deducted from da-ge’s pay... Though to be honest, considering his destructive track-record... he’ll probably need to be working here for more than three centuries before he’ll actually get any salary. You’d think he’ll learn some restraint after a while. The meat-head: You - Smiley face, smoothly taking both their hands and dragging them away: Okay you two, let’s go eat something. 

The non-specific coaches staff members:

As mentioned before there is exactly one (1) attendants wearing the attendant uniform. He is the most competent and proper staff member (not that it’s very hard, considering who are the competition) and probably the most reliable too (when he is not busy picking fight with huge saber carrying men or being locked up in cupboards). For that reason he is not in charge of a specific coach, but of all the passengers of the trains. His efficient and memory are kinda super scary... If you’re boarding the train in the morning, then rest assured that in the afternoon this attendant will know and remember your name, age, seat numbers, tickets numbers, Id number (from the ID Card that you showed him for like two seconds when he checked your tickets)  and food preference.

The staff member with the serene smile and dressed in white doesn’t seem to have a specific carriage either. The most likely coaches you might find him in are the 2 or 14 coaches (depending on which is closer to the driver), the bar (where he’ll chat with his brother), the coach no.13 where you’ll see him drink tea with his uncle. (This seem to be a huge family business? What’s up with all the kinship between the staffs?! Are they all connected to one another?) Or alternatively you’ll see him accompanying the most perfect employee of the century.

He seems very idle and doesn’t have a specific job? [His official job description entails dealing with NMJ and JGY’s foreplay quarrels and to keep things from turning too R18 rated in the bar... because the bartender and the guqin player are not trusted to keep their wandering hands to themselves in public]  

There is an attendant who is officially in charge of coach 2 or 14 (whichever is further away from the driver) but you’ll never actually see him there. Like he’ll stroll around in every other coaches except the one he is supposed to work in. And because he is dressing very casually you won’t even actually identify him as a staff member. He’ll smoothly insert himself into your passenger group and then happily chat with you. It’s only when the driver will barge in, dragging the attendant out to either “go do your fucking job” or “It’s time to train!” that they’ll realize that the one talking to them was a staff member.

So this attendant will come chat with you and somehow he know private information about you that he shouldn’t possibly know about and casually mention it the conversation, like “Oh, I heard your father got admitted to the hospital, is he better know?” or stuff that even you didn’t know about “Your boyfriend is such a dickhead for shitting on you with your brother.”

Afterwards it will lead to conversation like this: after the attendant had been dragged away “Oh I didn’t know your friend worked on this train!” “My friend? I thought he was yours? I actually never met him.” “Eh? Then how come he knew about your sister going to that concert tomorrow?” “I thought you told him!” “No I didn’t!” “...” “...”  

So scary.

So words spread around about that MDZS Express attendant who seems to know a lot of things and that he can be found in the second-class seat coaches. And so some people specifically book a ticket there to track him down and ask him information.

 But once they managed to corner him, his eyes would get very huge and he’ll frantically shake his head before hiding behind his fan, all the while crying “I don’t know!!! I really don’t know!”

His reaction was so intense that some would actually be taken aback... “Did we get the wrong guy?”

Then the attendant would flee and rush towards another one, “San-ge, please help me!!! Those passengers are bullying me!!!”

He got a very flat look from the ‘San-ge’ in question that seemed to say ‘Are we really still doing this?’, but even though this San-ge showed no sympathy whatsoever he still came to the passenger and told them “We are very sorry for not being able to help you. How about I bump you up to the business class coach as an apology? As a lot of passengers have sneakily tried to enter the business class areas by claiming to being bumped up by our staff members, we have established a password of sort. Once you reach the coach please make sure to find the lady wearing yellow and tell her ‘Don’t you think the dishwasher is an incompetent moron?’... She’ll take care of you. ” 

------------------------------------

Right so this got way longer than expected, so you’ll get the rest of the coaches (restaurants, bar, infirmary, sleeper coaches) in another part.

Like I mentioned above I wrote this in an “outsider” POV so most of the time I didn’t mention any names.... But did you manage to identify all the characters?

Also a lot of characters ‘working’  in the second half of the train have already been mentioned obliquely before. So you know more or less in which coach they are. The only one I didn’t mention is the infirmary... but well I don’t think it’s hard to guess who work there haha.

[vinayv224]

And the rest of the week’s best writing on books and related subjects.

Welcome to Vox’s weekly book link roundup, a curated selection of the internet’s best writing on books and related subjects. Here’s the best the web has to offer for the week of September 2, 2018.

In the ’70s, 53-year-old J.D. Salinger invited the teenage Joyce Maynard to come live with him. Maynard’s eventual memoir of their relationship, At Home in the World, was roundly trashed, and Maynard herself was held up as an example of a shameless woman trying to shame a brilliant man. At Jezebel, Frida Garza reevaluates Maynard’s legacy:

At Home is a disarming and up-close recollection of how Salinger, then 53, poised himself as an intellectual ally and confidante to an 18-year-old girl who felt excluded from her peers. (According to Maynard, her essay only furthered her alienation from her classmates, who began to see her as a hack.) She recounts how she cut almost everyone out of her life to be with him; how he won her trust and wooed her parents. When Salinger invited Maynard to spend the weekend with him in Cornish, New Hampshire, a former English teacher from Exeter Academy agreed to drive her. On the way, “he says nothing to indicate that there might be something worrisome about this visit I’m making,” Maynard wrote 40 years later in At Home.

I will always stan for Elizabeth Gaskell, the Victorian novelist who was friends with Dickens and Charlotte Brontë but has long been treated as a staid and matronly also-ran in the Victorian canon. (Look, is the prose in North and South brilliant? No. Is that book nevertheless immensely satisfying, and does its critique of classical liberalism still have merit? Hard yes.) So I am very here for Hannah Rosefield’s examination of her novels at the New Yorker:

I suspect that the comparative lack of generosity with which time, fashion, and progress have treated Gaskell has at least as much to do with her stuffy image as with her work, which has its own admirable qualities. She was more versatile than many of her casual readers realize: alongside her better-known realist novels, she wrote ghost stories, historical fiction, and the first biography of Charlotte Brontë. “Cranford,” a collection of stories set in the titular village, and the novella “My Lady Ludlow” both imagine a world almost entirely inhabited by women. Unlike Eliot and the Brontë sisters, who often set their novels in the past, Gaskell was, in her early works, at least, fiercely and explicitly concerned with the present and its problems.

Also at the New Yorker, Brian Phillips remembers the magic of half-forgotten children’s author Joan Aiken:

Aiken wrote more than a hundred novels over the course of her long career, and many of them manage something like this transformation. An absurd premise (we live on a bus; the Glorious Revolution never happened; a queen claims that her lake has been stolen) is treated with deadpan seriousness, allowing its latent magical possibilities to emerge in an atmosphere that’s half ironic, half enchanted — or, rather, in an atmosphere that’s entirely ironic and entirely enchanted, at the same time.

For the New York Times Magazine’s Letter of Recommendation, Elisa Gabbert recommends the shelf of recent returns at your local library:

When I pick the books up, a part of me expects them to be warm, like a just-vacated seat. They often still contain the life detritus of the last person to open them: makeshift bookmarks, boarding passes or receipts; oil stains or flecks of melted chocolate or even blood; an eyelash. Sometimes the books make me itchy, and I know the last borrower owns a dog. Sometimes there are clusters of related books that must have been checked out by the same patron. It’s like getting to look at someone’s night stand, but whose? The shelf is everyone’s night stand, an average of night stands.

At LitHub, Shaun Bythell delves into the details of opening his Scottish bookshop:

When I first saw The Book Shop in Wigtown I was 18 years old, back in my home town and about to leave for university. I clearly remember walking past it with a friend and commenting that I was quite certain that it would be closed within the year. Twelve years later, while visiting my parents at Christmastime, I called in to see if they had a copy of Three Fevers in stock, by Leo Walmsley, and while I was talking to the owner, admitted to him that I was struggling to find a job I enjoyed. He suggested that I buy his shop since he was keen to retire. When I told him that I didn’t have any money, he replied, “You don’t need money — what do you think banks are for?”

Also at LitHub, Evan Fallenberg sings the praises of the epistolary novel:

Even more important and more attractive is the manipulation involved in letter-writing, the filtering of events for another reader or readers that naturally takes place. Our interest as readers is piqued when there is some discrepancy between what we know to be true and the letter-writer’s presentation of these facts. Expressed otherwise, it is the dichotomy between how a person perceives herself, what she aims to project to the world, and what the rest of us see: the style of her writing, what she chooses to tell or leave out, the tone. A good writer manages to let that character’s personality present its true self to the reader even when the letter-writer herself wishes to hide parts of her being from the world.

In a compelling counterargument to the standard “fiction is about empathy” line, Kanta Dihal makes the case at Aeon that our stories actually prove that we are very bad at putting ourselves in other people’s shoes:

I am a literature scholar. Over thousands of years of literary history, authors have tried and failed to convey an understanding of Others (with a capital ‘O’). Writing fiction is an exercise that stretches an author’s imagination to its limits. And fiction shows us, again and again, that our capacity to imagine other minds is extremely limited.

It took feminism and postcolonialism to point out that writers were systematically misrepresenting characters who weren’t like them. Male authors, it seems, still struggle to present convincing female characters a lot of the time. The same problem surfaces again when writers try to introduce a figure with a different ethnicity to their own, and fail spectacularly.

At Vice’s Garage Magazine, Her Body and Other Parties author Carmen Maria Machado riffs on the four favorite models of Yves Saint Laurent:

This is Daniela’s theory: She is immortal and has cycled through many existences. She does not tell anyone, for fear that they will disbelieve her, test her, or hang her for witchcraft. When she was a teenager, a palmist took up her hand at a fair and after a moment of scrutinizing slapped it away as though it was on fire. Daniela tried to get her to explain, but the woman refused, and after that Daniela began to have dreams: She was the handmaid of a queen of an ancient nation; she carried lilies for her mistress’ late husband after his heart stopped in Bangkok; she modeled for a minor Flemish painter.

Meanwhile, here’s a rundown of the week in books at Vox:

I didn’t read Harry Potter when I was growing up. And I wasn’t alone.

Gary Shteyngart on his new book, which explores the self-delusion of Wall Street bankers

How The Little Stranger uses its ghost story to mask a study in toxic masculinity

A history of happiness explains why capitalism makes us feel empty inside

As always, you can keep up with Vox’s book coverage by visiting vox.com/books. Happy reading!

from Vox - All https://ift.tt/2NlwNjZ

[annvlsbu]

Interview with Yuri Zaleskis

After having work experience with this photographer I’ve decided that it’s worse trying to interview him in order to get to know his approach and style and also gain some knowledge for my future projects.

Interview with a photographer

Can you tell me a little about yourself? How long has photography been a hobby or career of yours and what motivated you to get started?

I was born in Latvia and lived here since my childhood and never actually thought of moving out from here,which might sound silly. I’ve just started my photography when studying  at School of the Arts. I began taking pictures when I was in middle school. Since then, I’ve experimented a lot with my images in terms of style and technique, shooting with film as well as digital. It was always a hobby and something that I did for fun until I began doing client work starting my sophomore year of high school, at which point I started to take photography more seriously.

How would you describe yourself and your personality? How does your personality affect the way you take photos?

When I am around people, I am usually joking around, being silly, and in general, trying to be a positive force because I want to be able to give myself to people in that way. So it may seem odd that a large portion of my work is rather serious, but it allows me to put any negative energy that I have into a concept and turn it into a piece of art.

What camera equipment do you use to create your portraits? And out of all your lenses, which is your favourite for portraits and why?

I use a Canon 5D Mark III, with 50mm 1.2, 24-70mm 2.8 and 70-200mm 2.8 lenses. The 70-200 is 100% my favourite, it takes the most beautiful portraits with a great focal range and it’s tack sharp.

You have a lot of photos taken with one model, K. Jaroslavska . How important has the collaboration that you have with her been in your creative process? How has it helped you create better photos?

I was struck by how creative  and elegant she was, and willing to think up and plan her own style and ideas as a model. Sometimes even the mention of a subject can send her off into a planning whirlwind! There have been shoots entirely planned by her, where I have literally turned up and photographed – I trust her planning and creative eye completely.The more we work together, the more I see her creative flair grow. We always have a few ideas in the work for shoots to plan together, we bounce ideas off each other. We’re constantly talking and evolving new ideas.

Where do you meet your models? Do they tend to be people you know, or strangers? How important is your relationship with your models to the creative process?

I started taking pictures of friends (my first subjects), then I met a fashion agent in my area, who believed in me and introduced me to professional models. A good relationship with the models is really important: the success of the shooting session depends on how they feel, so if I can create a relaxed atmosphere the pictures appear more natural and the work becomes enjoyable for everyone

What do you feel is one of the major mistakes new photographers make in pursuing a career?

Work your way to the top. So many photographers come to me and want work but they have NO skills. I had a goal and I was filled with motivation and passion. I worked hard and I would see something and practice it until I mastered it. I was hungry, ask yourself what are you hungry for?

Has portraiture always been a major focus of your photography? If not – why is it something you seem to focus upon so much today?

Portraiture came into becoming my main genre around 5 years ago . Up until then I really was shooting a bit of everything but after discovering some amazing portrait works by the great past photographers I realised that the subjects in these well known photographs although were complete strangers had connected with me, the portraits were eerie, almost surreal and that’s when I knew it was going to be portraiture.

Whose work has influenced you most?

I am inspired by the work of Nadav Kander, Igor Moukhin , Irakly Shanidze and Murad Osmann. Those people are such a ‘CREATORS’. I like how I feel myself after I look at their pictures. Mood, feelings, emotions, gestures, features and grace - these are the words that I think of when I see their work.