yourfavehasapisskink

[bosskie]

You know, I reread the life of Mr. Molluck for a moment and I found something interesting. At a certain point in his life he starts working at a FlubCo station (that is, Flub Fuels in general) and this made me connect to Munch's Oddysse, where we indirectly discover who the owner of this industrial chain is. At the Gabbiar auction, when Lulu places himself at the head of the crowd, there is another Glukstar next to him, the green one, called Tex.

(Coincidentally, in Texas there are oil wells)

What does this mean with all of that?

Well, since Molluck worked at Flub Fuels, basically Tex would be... his former boss. I would like to know how, in your opinion, their relationship was, and how they could interact, now that Molluck has been accused and is on the run

I gotta say that I wouldn't have thought this myself, so this was a really interesting conclusion! It could really make sense why Tex is a GlockStar since some people have gotten really rich from oil.

Since Molluck seemed to have a successful career before he was sent to lead the RuptureFarms, I could imagine that they had a good relationship. I'm just wondering if Tex informed the Magog Cartel about Molluck's merits, like just how Molluck got the promotion. I do know that Molluck played dirty for his success, backstabbed the others, but still. Now that I think about this, since this was his way, maybe he lacks of something that prevented him from becoming a GlockStar too. Like, even during 'the original quintology times', it was said that Molluck was successful but despite of that, he couldn't become a GlockStar. He is said to highly intelligent but well, it's also said that highly intelligent people do the worst mistakes... So, it's kinda tricky to say what actually caused Molluck's downfall and prevented him from becoming a GlockStar. Yeah, you didn't ask about this but just saying.

But the another way to see this could also be that maybe Tex saw Molluck as a threat for his own position, so maybe he could have been sent to the Farm for this reason. But still, I bet that they had a good relationship, also because it lowered the risk with Molluck for Tex. We have seen that Molluck can cut 'people' (whatever you should use for Oddworld creatures...) easily away when he gets enough of them or sees them as a threat for himself. Yeah, he is paranoid too, so you shouldn't give him any reason to doubt you...

I feel like at this point of the story, Tex would probably laugh at Molluck, and well, boast about his own success; just the Glukkon stuff, you know. He also seems to be like this kind of personality in MO, arrogant. So, their good relationship wasn't like it seemed, Tex just played a game with Molluck that he wouldn't become his victim. I, or we, don't really know how Glukkons usually get their promotions, like do they tend to work at the same company their whole career, meaning that the weakest ones get wiped away since not all the Gluks can become CEOs. I'm just wondering this to understand the risk with Molluck for Tex. So yeah, I feel like Tex has no real interest in interacting with Molluck at this point.

Thank you for asking and sharing your thoughts! I hope that this was at least something! Oh, and I kinda love it when Molluck is called 'Mr. Molluck'. For some reason, I do like never call him that way... But I still love that!

But I also must say that you timed asking this quite well... Yesterday just happened one thing that hit me deeply, related to how I constantly feel like an outsider and that no one around me wants to be with me, even get to know me... My environment just hasn't treated me well for over a decade, outside my family I mean... Those words that triggered my pain with this yesterday have still bothered me today, echoed inside my head... I'm getting so tired of this... When I have been thinking that no one wants to get to know me and then someone has tried to talk with me, I haven't known what to do, how to respond etc. since I have been so alone... So, those people left me because of that. But then, when I have tried to get to know people, they don't respond... If someone differs from this, they are an ultra rare exception in my case. But well, I'm not really social still but it's still difficult to interact with anyone when I'm so used to feel like no one wants to be with me, that I'm not a good company... I have never done bad things to people, I'm just 'too different'... I think that it's no wonder why I think so often about 'leaving'... I'm so tired of this...

What I'm trying to say is that you asking this yesterday brightened my day. I'm not sure how to but my thoughts into words since my eyes are getting wet... So, let's just say that you asking me about my thoughts meant a lot! Especially when one sentence from yesterday triggered my pain... I'm sorry for this vent... But I just needed to open up since I have just felt so terrible again... This whole day I have basically just tried to get up again...

[poptartmochi]

can't wait until i have my own place and it will be quiet

[saltydazeinnit]

Would ya'll be interested at all if I posted parts of my Encanto o.c fic here? I'll leave some information here for you to see if you are. Also this is kind of Encanto theory on accident.

Luciana Madrigal

I don't have a name for her gift yet but she basically can summon Skeletons

She's the oldest Madrigal Grandchild as she's 24 (Dolores and Isabela are both 21 or 22 with Isabela a month or two older)

Also I saw none of them have set heights so I guess Agustin or Luisa is the tallest, with that math I look at their heights compared to the doors and Luisa looks taller than her dad by maybe an inch or two. With people saying Bruno is confirmed 5'3? I'm guessing Pepa is 5'9, Agustin is 6'1, and Luisa is 6'2/3. So since I wanted Luisa to feel like she's still Luci's little prima in the one scene I wrote I made Luciana 6'5/6.

Anyway as you can probably guess Luciana is Pepa's kid based off her matching color scheme. I haven't made her gift part of her design since I don't know how to yet.

I realized while making her I make O.C's to take other characters trauma 😅

I talk a bit about how she interacts with her Abuela on my new tiktok account

*cough* cursive_beauty *cough*

But I'll talk a bit about it here

I know Alma isn't a villain and I didn't try to write her that way but I honestly don't like her and you can probably tell in how I write

I try to have Luciana treat her Abuela with understanding while still protecting her family from her frankly abusive ways

Before you come at me think about it, Bruno left because he knew Alma would think Mirabel had fucked the magic if he showed her his vision

Mirabel/Bruno/THE WHOLE FRICKING FAMILY deserved MORE than a hug and god damn apology

Alma (and also low key the town) CONVINCED Luisa she was useless if he wasn't of physical help

Even Isabela's room looks like it was designed by Alma

When Mirabel is sneaking into Bruno's room we see Isabela and Alma walking by talking about Isabela's marriage to Mariano (sorry if spelled wrong) and Alma's like "so good, so perfect for the encanto" like bruh

Anyway that got off topic

Luciana facts:

Luciana has horrible posture, either leaning forward or backwards she's just bent constantly

Antonio and her have a 19 year age difference so aren't the closest but he loves her like he has two moms (I find this happens with age gaped siblings also I don't want to take away his amazing relationship with Mirabel just so my character looks better)

Dolores is the only one who knows that Luciana wants to send their Abuela threw the window a lot, she lowkey understands (Camilo is getting there)

Luciana is very tired, shown by the eyebags she carries around

She just has insomnia but mostly it's because her siblings and cousins find her bed very comfortable (maybe it's because she's a furnace idk)

Family things:

Dolores and Luciana have quiet time in her room

Luci also covers Dolores's ears if she notices a loud noise is coming

Camilo calls Luciana 'Luci' more than her actual name

Luciana and Camilo are pretty close despite their age differences

Since Camilo could walk and talk he's been trailing his sister, he adores her and tried to fight a kid who called her creepy (she agreed with the kid and Camilo hated that)

Luciana fights her Abeula for what Isabela should be doing a lot

Luisa gets help a lot from Luciana's Skeletons even when she says she doesn't need it

Luisa low-key has always been amazed at Luciana since most of the grandchildren took some her chores when they got their gifts

Mirabel was very happy when Luciana started including her in her chores (Luci still has a skeleton trail the girl but Mirabel can't tell since the town always has a bunch around for when Luciana is in the field)

Speaking of Luciana in the field, she works in the fields with her mother and the towns people which is why her clothes are pretty damaged

Just realized this is a bit much anywho, send an ask or comment if you want more!

Bonus!

When I first started her this is what she was supposed to look like! But then I scrapped her personality and made her taller/bigger, also her door is better now, most of this is older art from before I really got into Encanto also I know I don't have their outfits complete in some art, again it's old art

[gyuphorias]

anyways now that i'm done revamping my account, i think i'm gonna take a page out of dream's book and talk about this because it's been weighing heavily on my mind all day and i really just need to get it out there before i collapse.

i. like dream said, i mentioned this on my main earlier today and i think it really does need to be talked about. this has happened just about every time i create a blog to share my writing with people. i work myself into such a niche that it's difficult for me to branch out because people only want to see that specific content from me. if you haven't noticed, txt is about the only group i answer asks about (with the exception of tbz asks from one of my anons and dream being kind enough to indulge me).

don't get me wrong: i love txt and i adore writing for them. but as you can imagine, writing for them all day every day get so tiring. it's gotten to the point where i don't have much to say anymore when it comes to expanding on thoughts that people send in. i feel like i'm just repeating myself over and over again, and it's starting to bleed into the way i write and think about other groups too.

i'm really really glad that you guys associate me with txt and beomgyu! i am! because they bring me so much comfort in my day to day life. but let me give you guys a little peek into my inbox right now. i currently have 15 asks waiting to be answered and of those 15 asks, 14 of them are about txt. literally almost all of the asks i currently have are abt txt. so i think you can understand why i'm started to get burnt out on writing for them.

i just really want to start branching out. even if i wasn't getting burnt out and feeling bad when i write for txt, i'd still want to branch out because i have so much love to give to other groups. if you've sent me a txt ask, i'll get around to it for sure. it might just take me a while.

ii. dream posed this idea on their post and i'm seriously thinking about doing the same thing honestly. i've mentioned within the last couple days or so that i'm feeling stressed about writing. most of it's just because i've been unmotivated to write recently, but there are a couple of other issues too. the first is the whole engagement, likes to reblogs thing that i won't hash out with you guys again (... for now). the second is that i've just been feeling so bad about my writing recently and a lot of that stems from the whole conversation in the first point. i feel like my writing's been getting repetitive and boring, and i feel like i haven't really had time to work on these projects that i was so excited to write because i've been focusing so much time and energy on answering hard thoughts and things.

so i think i'm going to take a break from expanding on your guys' thoughts, soft and hard, as a whole. i'll still come around and answer them, but the turnaround on it isn't going to be as quick as it has been. i really want to focus on these projects that i have because i was so passionate and excited about them when i started to work on them. as much as i love constantly interacting with you guys here and talking abt our idols, i really just need a break to recenter myself and find that passion for writing again because it's become such a tedious process, which is really upsetting for me because writing has been such a huge part of my life for so long and it's my favorite thing in the entire universe. and i want to be able to provide the best content for you that i can and i just don't feel like i'm providing that right now, so i'm going to focus my attention on my projects instead and hope that that passion comes back.

i really hope you guys understand where i'm coming from on this. i know that once i take a break from this account, i won't be getting much interaction because nobody really cares because they're just here for content or whatever. but if you guys wanna keep interacting with me, i'll be active on my main account @beomwiki since it's where i reblog a lot of stuff and post a little more personally if that's what you're into.

[max--phillips]

Ok, it took me awhile to figure out how to word all this. I didn't want it to seem like I'm trying to play a victim. But if I do, please call me out on it so I can learn from it.

So I haven't reblogged anything about that UD thing with PP. And all the resulting discussion stemming from it. Not because I don't care, because I definitely do. I saw it and it actually made me physically sick to see that people do that. Then to go a step further and tag him in it. Which is part of the reason I didn't reblog it. As part of curating my own tumblr experience I don't reblog stuff that effects me like that. I don't want to look through my blog at a later time and see it.

I'm not saying it's not an issue that needs to be addressed. Because it absolutely does. Especially when you only see certain blogs catching crap for speaking out about it. I take whatever I see so I can personally learn from it and work to be better.

I don't want to be the ass that is kinda ghosting on a major issue. But at the same time I feel like it's kinda late to just start reblogging the stuff. Especially since I inadvertently interacted with someone who is a big instigator in going after some blogs speaking out. I wasn't in the fandom a year ago. And a lot of times when the issue is brought up again, people are very vague about what happened before. So I had no idea that one of the blogs I enjoy was so problematic. Again, not trying to play a victim. Just saying that it's hard to catch up on everything when you weren't around before.

Basically what I'm wondering: is my tumblr experience and mental health more important than making sure this issue is seen and talked about.

The short answer is yes. Ultimately, you don’t owe anyone anything. On top of that, you have people reblogging things and talking about it that are fairly popular in fandom, so people are definitely seeing it.

I think that at the end of the day as long as you are doing what you are able to to make sure that people are safe and comfortable, that’s all that matters. As long as you’re learning, and growing, and being kind and accepting to others, you’re good. I feel like the Internet, and tumblr especially, is really bad at realizing that people only have so much energy and can only do so much in a day. Trying to be outspoken about every issue ever and doing advocacy and education and what have you constantly forever is EXHAUSTING. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.

For example. I have the “ace discourse” tag blacklisted on this website. It’s not because I don’t care about ace people. It’s because I care a little bit too much and I’m able to get into a position where I’m spending all day arguing with some idiot online who doesn’t think ace people are inherently LGBT and it leaves me exhausted and angry and just… not in a good spot. So I just don’t participate. There are plenty of other people arguing and standing up for ace people.

So yeah. You’re good. And I don’t think you’re playing the victim. As long as you’re not going into ppl’s inboxes and whining about how it’s “”drama”” and you’re tired of seeing it (once again: racism and calling it out isn’t drama) (also that’s not what you’re doing here, but people do that shit ALL the time) you’re good. And as long as you’re doing what you’re able to do, you’re good! And if all you’re able to do is unfollow a few people and think “god that’s nasty” to yourself, then that’s fine!!! That’s more than a lot of folks!!

[ficklewish]

Pre Calc Sucks

a Tendou x Reader Soulmate AU

Word count: 1.6k

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Tendou x reader

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

If you were told that you'd meet your soulmate through a texting app way before you did, you'd probably laugh at their face and tell them that it's not possible for that to happen, as it only does in movies or books. Or that's what you believed. Never in a million years did you think that it would happen to anyone you knew, let alone you yourself. It was a shock, but it was welcomed with open arms, as you had finally met the love of your life, the one fated to be with you. Meeting Tendou was, by far, the best day of your life. How you first met him however…now that would be a funny bedtime story. 

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

You were struggling with your art and school when you had downloaded discord. A school friend had suggested it to you, as certain servers had places for school or art help, and you had given in due to the huge lack of inspiration you had. Making an account and picking your username, it had finally been done, but once again, you were stuck. How exactly did discord work? Would it just…randomly suggest servers everyday or did you have to find them? You had left it for a while, just empty, waiting for it to be filled. Your friend had asked if you had made any online friends, and responding with no, they became confused. "Haven't you joined any servers?" You awkwardly laughed, turning away from them. "No…I don't know how discord works." You look back up at them and see the most judging look in their eyes. "You're hopeless. Here, let me help you." Taking your phone and opening your search engine, they go to a random site and start scrolling while you look over their shoulder. Seeing them go through multiple windows, they give back your phone. “There, I added you to one, you can figure out the rest from there.” Giving a small thanks, you turn to your phone, reading the instructions. “Hmmm, this is gonna take a while…” After doing a few tweaks and introducing yourself, you finally started to talk to the people on the server, learning their names and pronouns, acknowledging their age for appropriate conversations, and even adding a few friends. You had completely forgotten you were still at school, even though it was currently your lunch period. “Who knows, maybe your soulmate is in there.” Startled, you turn towards your friend then roll your eyes. The whole soulmate concept was something you used to like, but now, it was just a reminder that you hadn’t found yours yet. The whole “first place they touch you” thing was just a taunt, at least to you. Your mark was what seemed like someone's arms wrapped around you, including your upper arms. So many of your peers had already found theirs while you felt almost forgotten. It brought thoughts to your head, such as what if...your soulmate was across the world? Would you ever meet them? Did you even have one? Shoving the last thought deep into your mind. “I doubt it, shit like that only happens in movies.” Your friend looked at you, then smirked. “I don’t know about that.”

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

After classes ended, you went home, a bit excited to start talking online, as childish as it sounded. You had to keep reminding yourself that you joined for school and art help, but making a few friends never hurt. Taking off your shoes and dropping your things, you sat on the couch and noticed you were home alone for the time being, your parents most likely at the market. Taking your phone out and opening the app, you begin to interact in the correct chat for school. 

"Hey! I was wondering if someone could help me with my pre calculus homework? I'm a bit stuck"

You noticed that someone was already going to respond, which comforted you greatly. 

"I could help with this! Just give me a moment!"

Checking their profile to not accidentally misgender them, you notice that they are actually a he, and he has similar interests as you. Going back to your bag and getting your notebook and textbook, you turn back to your phone and prepare to fry your brain with math. (fucking hate math, it's so COMPLICATED) 

"Alright, what did you need help with?"

Telling your "tutor" about which problems you were confused about, they immediately begin to guide you through it and point out any mistakes you made, all while not exactly telling you the answer. He had helped you understand the concept much more easier than your teacher ever did, and you were extremely grateful for that. He had even given you some extra tips on how to remember certain formulas for when exams and tests are assigned. You thanked him multiple times for helping you with your homework

"Of course! Just DM me anytime you need help, I'd gladly do so!"

And that's what you did, texting him every now and then for homework help, mainly pre calc as it was your worst subject, and you didn't want to burden him with your other classes in case he had his own to pass. Sometimes, you'd even text him because you were actually interested in him, as he had been an interesting person to talk to. Learning a bit about him and sharing a bit about yourself, you quickly formed a friendship with, who you found out a few days ago, Tendou. He'd talk about how he was a part of a volleyball club, being a 3rd year, being part of a powerhouse team, and even some personal facts about his life. Of course, he never told you exactly where he was located, which was perfectly fine, as you didn't want to disclose that information either. However, you soon started to notice that whenever Tendou would text you, you'd become giddy no matter what the conversation was about, and when someone other than Tendou would text you, you'd deflate a bit, hoping it was him. Whenever you'd be doing anything else, you were hoping that he would send you something, you were just hoping to talk to him. These feelings scared you, as you might've had a soulmate, yet you fell for Tendou, and you prayed that maybe, it would somehow work out. 

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

4 months later, and Tendou being your "tutor" was still going strong, and your friendship even stronger. You had brought up meeting with him a few times, and the both of you had even planned it sometimes, but never actually went ahead with those plans. Your schedules never met up, as he had practice and you had a part time job. You grew wary, wondering if you would ever meet your online crush. It was then that you realized you had absolutely no idea of what Tendou even looked like, which meant you could've passed him on the street multiple times without noticing. You would constantly hope that one day he would stroll into the little cafe you worked at and notice you, but that was a far stretch, as he had no idea of what you looked like either. Today was no different. Each time a customer would waltz in, you had hoped that it was Tendou, but it never was. It was currently near closing time, and you had begun sweeping the place while a coworker cleaned the kitchen in the back. It wasn't until you were about to begin putting chairs up that you felt a vibration come from your phone. Taking it out, you look at your notifications and see you had gotten a text from Tendou, and you felt your heart skip a beat. Scanning the text, the happiness you had felt quickly melted into excitement and nervousness. 

"I found the place you work at, and I think I see you. Are you the one who's holding a broom?"

Rereading the text a few times to check if you weren't seeing things, you began to grow panicked. Today was an extremely stressful day, and you knew that you looked horrible. Your hair was a mess and you had even cried once due to an overly loud and rude man whose order was messed up, and you knew that the tear stains were still slightly visible. Quickly answering his text with a "come inside then :)" you continued to put chairs up in hopes to distract yourself from the nervousness and panic growing inside you with every passing second. Hearing the door open and the small bell above it chime, you freeze. "Um…are you possibly Y/N?" Turning around slowly, you're met with a tall boy with red hair and tired eyes. He reminded you of a lizard, and you thought he was really cute. Remembering that he had asked you a question, you answered. "Yes I am. Are you Tendou?" His eyes widen, and a smile grows on his face. "Aahhh, I finally get to meet you!" Realizing that he is indeed Tendou, a smile of your own grows on your face, and you couldn't stop yourself from engulfing him in a hug. The hug is cut short however, since you feel a searing pain from where Tendou had wrapped his arms around you. Pulling away, you look into his eyes, and does the same. Realization floods his eyes, and he looks as though he's about to cry. "Well shit, who knew you'd be my soulmate too." You immediately run back into his arms, shedding a few tears into his hoodie as he hugs you as if his life depended on it. 

"I guess stuff like this really does happen in real life."

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

a/n: HOOOO this took me a while to write, had to start over 3 times 😔 neways, I hope you liked it!

[fonteyn]

an update on where i’ve been

under the cut  is a long rant on which i’m getting some things off my chest.

I'm not sure if anyone is wondering, not sure if anyone even noticed, honestly, but I haven't posted or pretty much interacted here on Tumblr for at least a month now, my queue was running for a little bit but I got tired of filling it and eventually stopped posting at all. I've received a couple of messages and replies to the last chapter I posted on my Caspian fic asking about when I would update and I first of all feel I need to apologize for the long wait. The truth I found myself fighting with for the last couple of months is that actually....I'm not okay. 

I've been holding on for most of the pandemic, keeping myself busy, taking ballet classes and all, but then university came back and keeping up with the full schedule of classes, assignments and my internship (which demands about 30 hours every week) became very difficult and unfortunately sent me into a downwards spiral. 

One thing that has been constantly on my mind is that I have to get a new internship soon as my contract ends in March and I need the money from it to keep paying my bills and medication. In the last two months, I was rejected by every single one of the places I applied to (some of you might have seen other posts I made about this). 

I currently live with my parents, my brother and my boyfriend. My parents and sibling have created a war zone between them. They fight ALL THE TIME which is upsetting for too many reasons to number. I feel embarrassed that my s/o is subjected to watching this, he could live somewhere else but i think something tells him that if he did, I'd unravel too. 

Also, my dad, a lifelong alcoholic, has gone back to more hardcore drinking habits. He spent 2018 sober, but fell off the wagon in January 2019. He has done this many times before, drinking a little bit here and there, hiding from me and my mom, and becoming bolder as time goes on, which is how he is right now. Getting piss drunk every single day. This is not only saddening but also disruptive to me as he gets very touchy and mad about anything you tell him when he's intoxicated. He happens to be the kind of person who knows exactly what to say when he wants to hurt you. We argue. I scream. He says things to me that make me cry like a little girl. I feel powerless. I thought we were past this. Once I had a job and my own money, he seemed to respect me more, but when he's drunk he's right back to his old asshole self.

And then... well...the elephant in the room is coronavirus. I was feeling okay, not super paranoid for a long while but something clicked on me ever since my ballet teacher tested positive back in mid-October. Me and my partner also found out that some people whom we trusted were not being as safe as they had us believe, and now I don't want to go out EVER. I put so much alcohol on my hands every day that my skin is peeling. I clean everything, my shoes, the groceries, the car. I take a full body shower anytime I get home from a forced outing. I always wear a mask. My boyfriend also takes all the precautions. But as I said, I live with three more people, who don't have the same thoughts. Despite agreeing with the seriousness of the situation when I talk to them, they have varying degrees of protection. Yes, they wear masks. But my parents don't clean the groceries with alcohol. They don't take off their shoes when they get home. My mom cleans houses for work and doesn't wear a mask when she's at her employers as her shifts are long, and she usually ends up eating lunch there. Anyway, these are just a few quips. All of it makes me insanely anxious, so much so that I even though about moving out. But I don't have the financial stability necessary to do that as I won't have a job in three months (and this is not something I can negotiate bc there's a law in my country that you can't intern in the same place for over 2 yrs) and I need to pay my own bills (including my meds) and frequent blood tests cause - uuuuh - have i mentioned that I've been on an accutane course for six months?

It's all just been adding up. There are more weird petty things too, i guess.

I'm going into my last year of university and have no idea what to do next, I'm pretty sure I won't hold onto any college friends as even the fucking quarantine made them forget all about me (they hit me up only when they need material for a certain class we're taking). I feel alone and isolated, which i understand is something a lot of us are dealing with. I feel selfish knowing that I haven't had any major losses, and yet I feel so fucking sad all the time. The moment I realized I was definitely not okay was when I was crying as I wrote my tax law assignment. I haven't been better ever since.

If you are still reading after this nonsensical rant on which i exposed my private family life to strangers on the internet, i thank you for hearing me out.

If you're a reader of my fics, I'm sorry for not updating enter a king and a queen. I'm working on chapters, they will most likely be very long, probably longer than the previous ones. I will be taking my time, and hopefully I can get something out by mid January.

Uhh, I don't know how to finish this so....i guess...I'll see you when I see you.

Happy holidays, everyone. I wish health to you and all your loved ones 💕

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

"Miss Honda, she deserves the moon, but would never ask for it." (Yuki Sohma, Episode Six, season 1, Let's Invite Ourselves Over.)

We are at the last character that I kin. Over the course of the three years that I watched anime, took a five year break, and then came back and have been watching ever since, I haven't found a single character that in my opinion (and my best friend's) is more me than the main character in Fruits Basket, Tohru Honda. To me, this is always laughable, because I always say that I'm not nearly as strong as she is, but Laney is always telling me that Tohru would say the same thing about herself so I know that she'd be pissed at me if I didn't include her for the characters that I'm like.

Tohru is kind. I don't think that I'm saying anything revolutionary when I say that. This source of kindness is one of the few things that I relate to the most about her character. I often joke that she taught me how to be genuinely kind. It was through her that I learned "Oh, this is how you communicate with people and get them to like you." Even the characters that say that they hate Tohru (one of them being one of my favorites in the entire show) don't really know her. They just see the person that they want to see in their head. In actuality, the Sohma's wouldn't have ever gotten any help with their problems without Tohru's influence on their lives. Kyo would have never gotten out of his pain and self loathing after Kyoko died, Yuki would have never known that he had the capability to love another person, and so many other Sohma's were helped by her genuine kindness. I try to be kind to others because I know that deep down everyone deserves a little bit of that kindness and open heartedness that she gives to every character. Everyone is always telling me how "kind" and "sweet" I am but I learned from the kindest and the sweetest anime character how to be kind.

I am also a massive space cadet. This might not be the best character comparison but I rarely see it done right. So many times a space cadet is played as an "ditz" but to me that's not Tohru. To me, it's more of the idea that she is constantly worrying and overthinking every situation. She worries about the people in her life so much even when they don't particularly deserve it and when they say things that are cruel or mean spirited. When she's sick even she worries about other people and I relate to that. Every time that I get sick I can't tell you how many times I apologize to my parents for looking after me.

I love the way that she can treat others and the kindness that she gives to her friends. Especially her relationship with the females in the zodiac. I love her relationship with Rin especially. It's such a unique and special friendship (I know a lot of people ship it and so do I low key if I wasn't such a KyoRu stan) but they remind me of my relationship with Laney, my best friend too much for me to really ship it. The sunshine girl and the gothic girl who find friendship through similar pain. They both grew up lonely and sad people and I can relate a lot to that. Tohru never had any friends before Uo-Chan and Hana-Chan. Before Laney, I really only had smalltime friends. Never a true best friend that I had everything in common with.

I also love that we see Tohru is independent. I've always tried to be as independent as I could be with overbearing parents. I miss having my own paycheck so that I wouldn't have to beg for money. I got so used to being able to get a stable pay every other week from my part-time job at my campus that when that was suddenly taken away from me I didn't know how to handle it. Tohru is constantly working, sometimes working herself to the ground and tiring herself out. I love the fact that she works so hard though because it proves as a drive for her. She learns to cook so that she can look after her mom and do at least one thing for her. I cook as well, not nearly as much as she does and I'm still working on learning more recipes, I'm more of a baker than a chef, but I love that she learned to cook to be more independent and help her mom with just this one little thing.

My relationship with Tohru is something that is really, really special. I love her so much because of who she is and how her character interacts with others. Through every little twinge of adversity she is always looking out for others and putting them above herself. I do that just about every day that I walk this earth. I don't want this to go on forever though so I'll leave it here. I hope that you like my edit that I made! I'm thinking about doing husbandos next maybe?? Let me know what I should do!