rehabforthemind

[shelli-gator]

Been writing some Donald x Duck content with a fellow train enjoyer, because God I need more of them. And I get to write for Donald and Douglas!

So here, have what I wrote, feeling pretty chuffed with how its going so far. Woe, Scotts be upon thee! 🫴🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🚂🚂

Context: One by one, a number of engines are suddenly taken ill. Usually the picture of health and hearty endurance, Donald is reluctant to admit anything is wrong, even to himself.

As it would turn out, it's Donald and Douglas who've been called in to pick up the slack. They'd already been on their way back to Tidmouth yard from Vicarstown with a heavy goods train, and it was no fuss (bar Douglas' initial reluctance to add to their load) to collect Edward's train from the siding- a heavy goods train may as well be slow goods, and with ease the Scottish twins had repositioned themselves around it.

Or at least, it should have been easy.

At the front of the now most notably long train, Donald feels something more than the uncomfortable strain on his tender coupling. His breathing feels laboured as he chuffs, and as hard as he tries to notch up to even out the hardness of his puffing, it does nothing for him. And by now, the ache that's been gnawing away at the inside of his smokebox all day has blossomed into something ugly.

The Scottish twin grimaces, screwing his eyes shut, but the only voice he gives to his discomfort is a low, muffled growl behind tightly pressed lips. Keep on keeping on. It's gonna take more than some bad steaming to send him crawling to the Steamworks.

But his weak steam hasn't gone unnoticed, much to his irritation- his brother's words are needly to the No. 9 as he jeers from the back of their train, his tone jovial but decidedly pointed.

"For all yer bluster, yer nae pullin' at all, man! 'We'll pull this wee train nae bother, Dougie'! Och, what muckle nonsense!"

"Ack, away n' wheesht!" Donald shouts back at him with a long suffering roll of his eyes skyward, but he has to suck in a breath soon after, his expression pinched with the effort it had taken to yell at all. And he doesn't like how disconcerting that feels. He's usually quite good at yelling. He has to be to yell over his brother.

For a beat, there's nothing, and he thinks that will be the end of that. Until-

"What?!" Douglas hollers back, confused.

"I said," Donald tries again, taking in a ragged gasp, "Away n' whee-"

But he can't finish. The black goods engine stumbles as it feels like his steam leaves him all at once, and his driving wheels suddenly slip with shrieks and sparks. The train jolts and slows as the leading twin falters, and Douglas yells out in surprise as, just like that, the entirety of the weight is suddenly left to him. He can't shoulder it so suddenly, and he puts his brakes hard on to bring them to a stop, the trucks bouncing back and forth against one another to make them shriek and cackle.

"Donnie?!" He hears Douglas call out, but Donald can't find it in himself to answer, trying to ground himself on the rails. He sucks in small shaky breaths, as if too ashamed to gasp for air, as much as he might need it, and it makes the ache in his smokebox flare so sharply it makes him giddy.

Keep the heid, Donald. He thinks to himself shakily, swallowing, and his blastpipe feels uncomfortably dry as he watches the rails beyond his buffers waver. That's new.

It isn't long at all before he hears the approaching chuffing of his twin, but can't quite bring himself to look up at him as he wills the world to steady itself. And against his backhead he can feel his driver fiddling with his controls, perhaps trying to right whatever it is that's throwing his engine off kilter.

"What was that about then?!" Douglas demands angrily, ready to believe his brother had thrown a wobbly for his teasing. It wouldn't be the first time, so Donald can hardly blame him. He'd have thought the same.

But their eyes meet, and Donald watches his brother's face fall, earthy brown eyes that mirror his own darting over his pale face. And he feels himself tense up in response- he really doesn't want to have to explain himself.

"Donnie? Ye dinnae look so good." Douglas says dubiously, watching the steam leak from him in a wheesh of discontent.

"I'm fine." Donald shoots back stubbornly, hackles raised, but Douglas will not be deterred so easily.

"Oh no, dinnae dae that," his brother admonishes, but there's no sting to his words, "Talk to me, man. Ye'v nae bin yerself all day."

Was he really that transparent? He knew he wasn't well, but had he really fallen so short? Just like that the fire and brimstone leaves the No.9, and he releases steam in defeat, a wheezy sigh sending it dancing in flurries.

"Ack... aye Dougie. I dinnae feel so good. I’m fair puckled..." As if to prove his point he has to draw in another sharp breath before the words are even out his mouth, and he tsks with a frown, growling at himself for his weakness.

"Can ye keep going?"

"Aye." Donald is quick to affirm, and he leaves no room for argument in his tone. He's not about to go to the Steamworks when another wee engine just got sent there, and here they are collecting his train. What a right muckle comedy of errors would that be?

Douglas seems to echo the sentiment, not at all keen to see his brother get shipped off to the works. So he puffs himself up with a laugh, his smile confident, "Dinnae fash yerself then, Donnie. I've got ye, man. I've got puff in me fir the both of us!" He blasts his whistle in a grand display, and Donald is quick to answer with a chuckle, sending out an answering whistle that joins in with Douglas' own. And with that, the other Caledonian engine steams forward to find a point. 

Soon enough he's backing up to double head with his twin, and Donald can't help but think it's a little like it was back then, once upon a time when a Scottish engine had stolen his twin away with him to their new home far away. And with his brother to lean on, they can hide that he's having any steaming trouble at all.

It takes some work and strain to get the train moving again, but Donald isn't completely useless. He puts every ounce of puff he has into supporting his twin's gallant effort, ignoring how tired it makes him, and finally, they're heading for home again. And to anyone watching, it would seem the twins are working in tandem as usual, even if Douglas looks a little pinker in the face for it.

"Dae ye ken what's wrong?" Douglas asks eventually over his strong chuffing, working hard to pick up his brother's slack. But Donald grunts in response, eying the back of his buffers to avoid looking at the scenery as it flies by, wary of it making him feel sicker still.

"Ah dinnae ken, no." 

"Maybe it's something in the water?" Douglas offers, and Donald perks up to arch a brow at him, leaning to the side like his brother might be able to catch a glimpse of his skeptical look, "We passed wee Percy looking proper done in on Gordon's Hill, mind, and now Edward's at the Steamworks, all out of puff."

Donald dares to think he has a point, what are the odds that three engines run into steaming trouble on the same day, "Aye, maybe yer right!" The thought gives him some reprieve- if it's just water, that's a temporary issue, one that he can wait out till the next day. And Donald feels his spirits bolster.

"Och aye, I usually am!" Douglas quips dryly, and Donald rolls his eyes fondly, giving his twin a bump from behind to jostle him.

Despite the hiccup, the pair make good time to Tidmouth, steaming through tunnels and past rolling fields. The sky is just starting to tinge pink and orange as they approach the station, and Donald finds himself leaning in an attempt to see past his brother, not so subtly looking for a familiar shape that so often stops there, green and broad and sturdy, with a long, elegant funnel. He could recognize him anywhere, from his pert bunker to his distinctive waddle as he bustles about on his branch line.

So when Douglas whistles to announce their arrival, Donald joins in with a whistle of his own, with a hope that they'll soon hear a third whistle echo back just for them, proper and, to Donald, endearingly bird-like.

'Ye there, Duckie?'

--------

And that's all she wrote!

[transsexualunderground]

SYCORAX IN: DAY OF THE DIESELS

i really want to hear about sycorax!!!

Oooh aight aight!

This one is my DOTD AU, because, as much as I like bringin' back ol' unhinged D10, this movie's got some major flaws, yet major potential, too. And look, Percy's got friends other than Thomas.

Enter Sycorax, a slightly-pretentious, dramatic, artistic, silly little Shakespeare fan of a BR Class 12 that lost their wheels in an accident and got tiny little narrow gauge Co-Co bogies slapped on 'em. They work on the UHR, which, is a whole can of worms to explain on its own.

The UHR, or the Ulfstead Heritage Railway, is an absurd little heritage railway going in and around Ulfstead, and is linked up to the Skarloey via a long, straight, boring line with one water column in the middle (until a Little Caesar's is installed, long story). Not to be confused with the Estate Railway, as this was built using Mid Sodor track, and is basically me taking that portion of rail shown in Toby's Discovery and adding to it.

(And It Was At This Point He Realized This Post Would Be Very Long, Because Now He's Recapping the WIP Because He Is Convinced He Won't Finish a Script Version After He Finishes This Outline-Thing)

Anyways. This one's about Sycorax, who I've decided has a few different levels of envy (the closest thing to engine gender envy and envy of his claw, mostly) when it comes to Diesel 10, yet, also an intrigue and a desire to meet him. With a claw like his, you could do a multitude of things Sycorax yearns to do, and most of that boils down to creative endeavors.

So, this is a tale with D10 written a bit closer to his personality in TATMR (campy ridiculousness yet being genuinely menacing), with some splashes of his DOTD tendencies in there (the scheming! the manipulativeness! I think TATMR Diesel 10 is very capable of this, but I'll tap into DOTD D10 a little more for this, too.) Also, Splatter and Dodge are 'Arry and Bert Headcanon Antics. Because once, a friend of mine came up with the HC that 'Arry and Bert are Splatter and Dodge because model reuse. (Diesel 10 gets to call them "Barry" now instead of "Splodge." Seems like they had a competence upgrade in general but they can get silly with it, too.) (While I'm at it, I gave Pinchy its semi-sentience back.)

Now onto the actual plot, it follows quite a few of the beats from DOTD except with less of the friendship envy and fire antics (at least in my planning, I need to set up how we get to the fire in the climax).

Diesel introduces Sycorax to Diesel 10 at the Dieselworks, which now have narrow gauge tracks for Plot Reasons, Sycorax finds themself in sheer admiration of Diesel 10's claw and Vibes and his appreciation for the arts (see: that sculpture Pinchy made in TATMR. I like thinking he has a comical amount of knowledge about art, specifically sculpture, and also, @sudriantraveler's "Diesel 10 is a theater nerd" concept is an absolute blast) and of course that makes them a good pawn for all this, in a slightly different flavor to Splodge Barry, because part of this is keeping Sycorax in the dark about how shitty this is gonna be.

So D10 gets Sycorax aboard, and it's time to go steal a crane from the Steamworks. Who better to get into theft, though, than She Who Pranks, aka Forsythia, Sycorax's fellow narrow gauge engine! (She's a steam engine, which, IMO, makes this even funnier.) Sycorax doesn't fancy themself a thief anyways, they think they'd suck at it. So they promise that their affiliate would be more than happy to do this. She is. But then she proceeds to ask her coach Nicolas and some trucks to give her a bump of a lifetime to send her to the Steamworks. This isn't what Sycorax planned, and they have to drag her to the Steamworks anyways. (She isn't too happy about this because she's getting separated from Nicolas for this, but she can handle it.)

Sycorax brings Kevin around, and they suggest the diesels perhaps postpone the raid of the Steamworks until nobody's going to be there, but Diesel 10 is willing to take hostages. He's already taking the building hostage, after all. Sycorax is opposed, but is coaxed into going with it. See indented excerpt.

When they return with their stolen crane companion, Sycorax explains, “Apologies that took so long, Diesel 10, but my… affiliate, she stupidly decided to get to the Steamworks via being sent there to have damage taken care of, and I was sent to bring her there. The good news is, though, that I have brought this crane. Very important. Didn’t… you say something about storming the Steamworks earlier? Can the operation even wait until she’s done?” “We’ll just have to storm the place with her in it.” “We’re going to… what, now? Truth being told, I never did ask why we’re trying to take the Steamworks… What’d they do to us?” “Have a crane,” Diesel 10 says. “Your brevity truly is the soul of wit,” Sycorax responds in a way that’s hard to read as genuine or sarcastic. “Not really. We’re using it as a bargaining chip. We give the hat guy his Steamworks and whoever's in there back, and we get our better Dieselworks.” “...hostages, Diesel 10?” “If you don’t like it, you should’ve backed out with the cranenapping!” “That was willing on all parties’ accounts, Diesel 10! We can’t just take unwilling hostages! Albeit, knowing Forsythia, she’d love to be there amidst a takeover, but what about everyone else that’s there?!” Diesel 10 is annoyed that they’re questioning him now. “We’ll deal with them later. We’ll make sure they’re taken care of.”

They lead the charge, and all hell breaks loose. Sycorax sits back and watches in realization that this is... not a good thing at all. Diesel 10, instead of joining in the mess, hangs back for a bit to try and manipulate Sycorax a bit more. It doesn't really pull through, and Sycorax just says they'll... catch up with the others in a moment. Diesel 10 begrudgingly leaves them to their devices, and we get the moment that really shakes things up for Sycorax.

Sycorax does stay put for a moment, watching Diesel 10 as he goes off on his own... only to watch him start ripping things up with his claw. Sycorax realizes his claw is a claw of destruction and not creation, and after a lovely little monologue, they declare that they won't let this become a tragedy, and they go to think about how to right their wrongs.

But we get a cut to the absolute CHAOS happening down at the Steamworks. Forsythia got put into a crane and is just swinging around and spinning. This is the best hostage situation she's ever experienced. Someone explained what was going on to her and she just embraced it, as one does.

Enter Wesley, who is literally just a steam engine here to bring some stuff over really quickly. He observes the chaos, isn't sure what's going on, and needs to figure out where to put this stuff, so he manages to muster up a loud, almost commanding "HELLO THERE!"

Everyone looks at him like this:

At least, they do until Syth swings down asking what Wes is doing here, explains the situation very casually (much to Wesley's bewilderment), and assures the others that he'll comply with the hostage situation nonsense. Everyone goes back to their business, and Wesley decides if he's going to be stuck here he may as well find someone to have a good conversation with. See indented excerpt.

“Cousin Wesley! Fancy meeting you here! Have you come to join the party?” “What party?” Wesley asks. “Oh, you know, the diesel takeover of the Steamworks!” “The… the WHAT?!” “Yeah, uh, now that you’re here, you can’t really leave, but, I’m sure it’s fine, because this has been the most fun hostage situation of my life.” "You know this guy, Forsythia?" a diesel asks. "Yeah, yeah, he'll comply with staying around for a while, I'm sure. The party's back on, everyone! Wooo!" She swings off and the chaos starts again. "Well, darn. Guess it's time to try and have a good conversation with… someone who makes alright conversation." Then it cuts.

Meanwhile Sycorax is still pondering how to fix this, so far from their own railway.

...and when we cut back to the Steamworks, Wesley and Paxton are having a nice casual chat about that time Wesley ran into some geese, before it's revealed his crew went to get the Fat Controller. Aw shit. Cue the model era theme!

He puts a stop to this nonsense, explains there were already renovation plans for the Dieselworks, 'Arry and Bert make some comments about how that kinda throws things for a loop (in classic Splatter and Dodge dialogue fashion) before D10 tells them to shut up, and he explains that there's just been a misunderstanding, and then Syth busts in with a "oh, so that's why you sent Sycorax to steal who then sent me to steal?" from above, much to TFC's utter confusion.

"Shut it, you two," Diesel 10 mutters before clearing his lack of throat and focusing on TFC again. "Then, clearly, there's been some misunderstanding here, I assure you. We don't even have a working crane back at the Dieselworks, we thought action was necessary." "Oh, so that's why you sent Sycorax who then proceeded to ask me for help stealing a crane?" Forsythia says, dangling from the 'bove. "Forsythia? Whatever are you doing up there?" the Fat Controller asks. "Having a good time, Sir, but that aside, Diesel 10 said he'd keep anyone who entered here by chance or was already here hostage as a bargaining point, so the diesels ensured I was safely within this. Luckily for me, this thing is VERY fun to swing around in. I'm… not going to get into too much trouble for this, am I?" "How come we never put the other one in a crane, then?" a diesel just offhandedly asked. "You guys were way too distracted by your shenanigans. Rookie mistake," Forsythia tutted.

TFC gets everyone back on topic, saying that he needs any accurate accounts he can get out of Forsythia and Wesley, he needs Diesel 10 to go bring back Kevin, and he needs everyone else to start cleaning up this disaster. But D10 ain't fond of that.

Diesel 10 approaches the Fat Controller with his claw. Snapping and snapping and spanning at Sir Topham, but he stands his ground. Pinchy keeps snapping, closer and closer until… it draws back. "Pinchy. Pinchy, buddy, you can't be doing this now. Why are you acting like you don't wanna do this?" Pinchy makes a gesture akin to shaking one's head and cowering back. "Pinchy." Then Pinchy hits Diesel 10. "I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!" Sir Topham gets himself out of harm's way in case Diesel 10 manages to get Pinchy to listen, but it’s more “out of range” rather than “backing away,” y’know? "Diesel 10. I need you to bring back the crane,” he says. "You want your dinky little crane back? Fine. I’ll give it back." He goes outside.

Cue Diesel 10 getting even more menacing.

We cut back to Diesel 10 heading to the Dieselworks. "Pinchy, I get it. Maybe you just need to warm up a bit before getting messy. And I know just the way to prove our point." As it's starting to turn out, it was never about the Dieselworks. It was about Diesel 10 wanting to abuse his power over others. "We'll let them have their crane back alive, or in pieces. Then they'll listen."

Leave a violent diesel and a clumsy crane in a place with flammable materials, and what do you get?

A fire, of course. Never quite sorted out how exactly it happens, but it does.

Sycorax sees the fire, startled. "Rails below and sky above… that's not normal engine smoke, is it? It's a lot bigger! There's a fire!" They and their crew kick it into high gear. Their aim is to see if they can do anything about it and then get help. Sycorax sees Kevin just staring at the fire in horror and snaps him out of it with a, "Kevin, what are you doing? You need to get out of here!" "Diesel 10's trapped! He was trying to get me with his claw, but then he started a fire!" Kevin exclaims. “There’s not much we can do except call for some firefighters. Come on, Sycorax, we must hurry," their Driver says. "There’s something else we can do!” Sycorax exclaims. "Kevin, go get help! Driver, there's a fire extinguisher in the building! If it's safe to get it, we can get Diesel 10 out even quicker!” And luckily for everyone involved, they can get to it because the fire hadn't spread to the front yet. The two rush into action, putting out enough fire to get to Diesel 10. Having realized there’s two tracks here, Sycorax’s driver has gotten a cable to tie these two together for a bit so Sycorax can pull him out of there in case he can’t move himself. He could’ve probably but… proactivity. "Sycorax?! Are you stupid? There’s a FIRE. What are you doing?" "Helping you. Kevin's getting the firefighters." "And you didn't just leave me for them to save?" "Every second counts in an emergency like this, that's why it's important to get out of it as soon as possible! You're lucky I even remembered the fire extinguisher that’s inside! Now hurry!” The two get out, and the fire crew of Belle and Flynn arrive. The two stay out of the way.

And then we get the final bit from this WIP, one I'm especially fond of.

“Thanks for getting me out of there, I guess,” Diesel 10 ends up saying. How are you supposed to react to someone saving your life? Nobody does that. Especially not when you're Diesel 10. “Let this be a lesson to you, Diesel 10. Your ambition could have been your downfall. I know this fire was your doing, and, goodness, you even tried to bring harm to Kevin! ‘Tis ironic that I found myself saving you after I had renounced this entire thing and wished to make things right, but that doesn’t change the fact that my opinion of you has changed drastically." We get a shot of Diesel 10's expression. This situation is clearly some sort of uncomfortable for him. "...and I shall let this be a lesson to myself, too," Sycorax adds. "'Tis not wrong to admire another's traits, but to idolize someone else without knowing their character? That would be my true folly, had I not realized it any sooner. They say never to meet your heroes, Diesel 10. I think I know why." "You speak like you came outta the sixteenth century," Diesel 10 complains, because cracking one-liners whenever shit goes wrong is kind of his thing. Sycorax half-laughs.

There's some Sycorax dialogue here and there in this WIP I'd like to improve, because they're a wonderful character that's in constant flux between using whatever's up-to-date in terms of words and random older terminology. I could definitely see them slipping into a "tis" and "thou" sort of mood during all of this, though, makes sense when you're getting morally contemplative.

So, yeah, that's Si:DoTD.

[bunneclair]

Hey these are Claire and Mora

This picture was taken on the bus so ignore how bad it is

Claire is the short one, she’s originally from Zomberry Island but Mora yeeted her outta there real quick

Mora is from Steamworks. Who knew how she broke the fourth wall. She’s probably god. She belongs to my friend who doesn’t have a tumblr, but the art is mine.

They’re basically travel buddies. Claire comedically falls in love with [usually] a girl on every island, Mora kicks ass and takes names, you know the deal

[feigeroman]

Station to Station (funk to funky...)

So, spurred on both by one of my previous headcanon posts getting liked and reblogged by @mean-scarlet-deceiver​ (who is totally awesome - go check them out), and by The Unlucky Tug’s magnum opus of a video essay about his take on the Island of Sodor (check it out below, and then check him out - both are totally awesome), I decided it’d be a fun idea to share some of my own headcanons about Sodor. Most of these are things I remembered while watching the video, which you can see here...

...And I’ll be presenting them in the order I remembered them. The video isn’t strictly necessary to understand this post - I just wanted to share it. It’s also worth having a copy of the Sam Wilkinson map (mentioned in the video) to hand, as it’s what I used as the basis for my take on Sodor. Yes, I know it’s a bit of a clusterfuck, but so is my version of the timeline, so...

***

1) Knapford is Tidmouth, and Elsbridge is Knapford

What do I mean by this? Well, what the RWS calls Tidmouth, the TVS calls Knapford. And what the RWS calls Knapford, the TVS calls Elsbridge.

Confused? I certainly was the first time I tried typing that! I’ll just explain the headcanon:

Basically, I go with what the RWS says. In other words, what the TVS calls Knapford, I call Tidmouth (incidentally, I prefer this version with the big yard alongside)...

...And what the TVS calls Elsbridge, I call Knapford. I know this shot doesn’t really show the station, but I decided the yard in the background is part of Knapford as well.

2) Which harbour is which?

This is somewhat similar to HC1, in that I’m changing up some of the names of established locations. There are many docks and harbours on Sodor, but the show mainly focuses on Brendam (and either Knapford or Tidmouth in earlier seasons). Those locations change drastically from season to season, and I wanted to account for most of the various appearances. So in no particular order:

For Tidmouth Harbour, I use the current Brendam Docks (though my headcanon is something nearer to the real-life Southampton Docks).

For Knapford Harbour, I use a mix of S2 Knapford Harbour and S3B Brendam Docks Just imagine that the former evolved into the latter over time.

For Brendam Docks, I use the S2 Brendam Docks.

I’ve loosely based Arlesburgh and Kirk Ronan on the real-life Bristol and Weymouth harbours, respectively.

3) Two or three-track mind

Okay, this was something I only thought up after seeing Tug’s video. He points out that the number of tracks tends to vary between sets, and he decides on the following:

Three tracks means it’s somewhere on the main line.

Two tracks means it’s a branch line.

One track means it’s either the far end of a branch line, or a freight-only line.

However, he also makes the point that some parts of the main line are inexplicably double-tracked, such as Cronk Viaduct (which he moves to Wellsworth, but that’s neither here nor there):

In cases like this, my headcanon is that the main line was originally completed as a double-tracked railway, with most of it being upgraded to triple-track later on. Obviously it may not have been possible or feasible to upgrade certain sections, hence them being left as double-track.

4) Lower Tidmouth

Now here’s one that I really like. This unnamed station from The Three Railway Engines was christened Lower Tidmouth by the TVS modelmakers. It’s located between Tidmouth and Knapford, and sits on the southern outskirts of the former town. Even though Tidmouth is a pretty large town - especially in my headcanon - its main station seems to cope well enough on its own, so why this extra station?

My headcanon is this: During the War, Tidmouth would most likely have been of great strategic importance, with its harbour and rail links - and therefore a prime target for air raids. Just in case the main station was bombed out of action, Lower Tidmouth was constructed just outside what was then the edge of the city, to serve as a temporary passenger terminus. After the War, the rudimentary station was given a major upgrade, after it was discovered that many people living to the south of Tidmouth found it more convenient than the main station.

5) Lower Tidmouth Tunnel

A much smaller idea now. This short tunnel is located between Tidmouth and Lower Tidmouth, and I just want to say I like to imagine that this looks the same as Henry’s Tunnel does in the TVS - two tracks in one bore, one track in the other. The only difference is that it’s built from red brick, as shown here.

6) Some ideas above Edward’s Station

This is a double-barrelled headcanon concerning Wellsworth. One concerns the station itself, and the other concerns its goods yard.

Firstly, the station itself. There’s been a lot of debate about which way round it should be. Should the footbridge be at the western or eastern end? Personally, I think it should be at the western end. My reasoning is that that would allow the bay platform siding (where Henry is in the above picture) to be at the eastern end, facing towards Gordon’s Hill. I assume that’s where Edward would normally be stabled when he’s waiting to bank trains up the hill. I just think it’s more convenient on that front.

As for the goods yard?

Well, I think this is Wellsworth Yard. That’s it. That’s the headcanon.

7) The Parkway Stations

This next headcanon concerns a rather obscure part of the Sodor railway geography - namely, these two tiny stations on the main line.

These stations serve the tiny villages of Balladrine and Kellaby respectively - though, in true railway fashion, they’re actually located some distance from the communities they serve. My original idea was to go down the usual route and just add the suffix Road to the station names, but then I was struck by a flash of real-life inspiration.

In the 1970s, British Rail opened a number of park-and-ride stations, which basically means you drive to the station, park your car and continue your journey by train. They usually have the suffix Parkway, as the first one was built close to the M32, which is also known as the Bristol Parkway.

Anyway, that’s the gist of this headcanon. The North Western jumped on this Parkway bandwagon around that same time, allowing people from the villages to either drive or catch a bus to the stations, and then catch a train to wherever.

8) The new Kellsthorpe Road

In my own personal timeline (which is a whole other headcanon in itself), Season 8 takes place in 1976, and it’s during this season that we see Kellsthorpe Road being built. Obviously the station had existed since the railway was built, so what’s with this new one?

Well, I like to think this was actually a relocation to somewhere more convenient for both the town and the junction with the Kirk Ronan branch.

9) Crovan’s Gate and other small works

I already touched upon this idea before in my Victor’s Haulage Truck headcanon, but if you haven’t read that, it goes like this:

I’m not a huge fan of the Steamworks and Dieselworks being separate facilities in separate locations. I just think the RWS version of Crovan’s Gate makes more sense, seeing as you would want all your major repair equipment and facilities to be concentrated in one location.

That being said, I wouldn’t say all this sort of work should be concentrated at Crovan’s Gate. It’s implied in the RWS that more minor repairs are carried out at smaller workshops across the rest of the system - I’d assume these are located at all the major engine sheds, and that there’s at least one on each branch line. These would also be useful for when there’s more work than Crovan’s Gate can take on at once.

10) The Sheds

Speaking of sheds, I have a handful spread across my version of Sodor. Basically, I have a couple at each end of the main line, and one on each of the branch lines. And since the highest operating district number in real life was 89 (for Oswestry), I’m gonna say all of the NWR’s engines are allocated to District 90, covering all sheds on the region:

Tidmouth (90A)

Knapford (90B)

Crovan’s Gate (90C)

Vicarstown (90D)

Barrow In Furness (90E)

Arlesburgh (90F)

Ffarquhar (90G)

Brendam (90H)

Peel Godred (90I)

Kirk Ronan (90J)

Great Waterton (90K)

Norramby (90L)

11) Dryaw Goods Station

Alright, this one is more about a specific episode than a location, but I thought it was worth throwing into the mix. This goods station only appeared in Thomas Gets Bumped, and nobody is quite sure where it’s meant to be. Some people say it’s Hackenbeck. Others say it’s Toryreck. Me? I’ve always thought of this as the original Dryaw Station, on what is now the Harbour line on the Ffarquhar branch.

I say this because the surrounding scenery matches what’s shown on the map, and it makes sense for a freight-only station to be located on what is now a freight-only line. But if that’s the case, why does Thomas seemingly pass through daily with his passenger train?

I toyed with the idea of Thomas being there because he’s pulling a workers’ train, but then I came up with something better. In my personal timeline, this episode takes place during the initial construction of Knapford Harbour, and the new passenger line with it. More specifically, during a brief interim period between the closure of the original Dryaw to passengers, and the opening of the new passenger line.

12) The Sports Field Halt

At the end of the Sodor Explained video essay, Tug admits that he couldn’t think of anywhere to put this station from Three Cheers For Thomas.

Sam Wilkinson’s map places this halt just south-west of Elsbridge, and that’s where I’ve decided to place it too. Not just because it’s semi-canon, but because do you know what other location is just south-west of Elsbridge?

Yes, this cricket field. In my headcanon, I’ve merged these two locations together. Makes sense, right? They’re both sports related things, next to an embankment, and just south-west of Elsbridge. I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch, and you can always imagine the halt is a request stop serving the sports field.

***

Alright, I think that’s enough headcanons for one post. Firstly, because I underestimated just how much I had to talk about. And secondly, I’ve always said it’s not wise to put all your eggs in one basket. It’s much more sensible to just put out a short thing, let it simmer for a while, and then finish off the rest later.

I hope you guys have enjoyed this post. I certainly enjoyed finally getting all these thoughts out there. Stay cool, stay safe, and I’ll share the rest of my thoughts at some point in the future (even if they are as insane as the ones I’ve already shared so far!)...

[augustawren]

A Candle in the Dark Pt. 4

Characters: Wren and her memories (her memoir)

Universe: Canon memories, Originally written for Broken/Fang AU

~I skip over a lot here, but trust and believe Wren was more detailed than I am!~

Part 4

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return (halfling proverb)

~The real start of the adventure! Getting to know everyone, meeting Lou, and the first time in the Steamworks~

I saw him before I heard him. Our party, led of course by Lou, making its way through the crowded street, when a voice rose above the dim.

“Make way, make way, make way!” Words that will stay in my heart until I take my very last breath.

I won’t say anything so romantic happened as feeling like all the air had left my lungs when I saw him. I didn’t swoon, I didn’t feel the instant pull of “love at first sight”. He was certainly handsome; his curls wild, his jaw strong and stubbled… But I wasn’t in the habit of lusting over random men I met in the street, and any potential lusting was squashed immediately when he spoke. First he offered Lou a small bow. “My lady,” he said, still out of breath from running. “My lovely lady,” he said when he saw Edana. Then he turned his eyes to me and bowed his head in respect. “Grandmother.” And then he took back off running, which was lucky for him because I was ready to kick his ass.

As it turned out, we all happened to be headed to the same place, though he got there well before we did. When we entered the factory we had been headed for and I saw him there, I fixed him with my darkest glare. He was introduced to each of us, and when he got a better look at me, his eyes were wide. “Not a grandmother!” he proclaimed, as if I needed to be told. He bowed low and took my hand to kiss it, though I pulled away.

“Devlin Goodfellow, procurement specialist,” he said.

I exchanged hostile words with him. At least, hostile on my end. Charming on his. He stepped up close to me, looking at me in a way I’d never noticed a man look at me before. He asked me to dinner. To make up for his mistake. He was flirting with me. Him. A man. He’d just asked me on a date! It didn’t seem like a “freak fuck” like I came to believe my first time was; a man obsessed with collecting the bizarrest of conquest stories. This seemed like Devlin Goodfellow was genuinely interested in me, though I couldn’t figure out why. I think it was mostly due to how stunned I was that I accepted his invitation.

What you should know about Devlin right away, and what I should have immediately guessed about him, is that he is a romantic. A hopeless romantic. Sweeping women off their feet has always been one of his favorite things to do, if you ask me. And sweep he did on that first date. Quite literally, actually, though his mother may read this at some point so I won’t go into many details on that score. He was a perfect gentleman.

From that point on, we were practically inseparable. I don’t think we even talked about it, he just began staying in my inn room and we spent everyday together. He showed me the Steamworks; the markets, the best places to eat, all its little secrets. Though in all honesty, in those early days, we didn’t do a lot of leaving the inn room. Whenever we did, our fingers were interlaced or his arm was around my waist, we were never not touching. I couldn’t get enough of him and it was like he felt the same, though I still couldn’t understand why. He saw, very early and accidently, the mesh of scars and the brand on my back. It’s not exactly something you show off at parties and laugh about, so when I realized he’d seen, I was mortified. As he does with all things, Devlin handled it with careful grace. He held me in his arms and murmured how much he cared for me, how he always wanted to be by my side, and that the scars did not disgust him the way I imagined they did. He called me beautiful, again and again, and my heart melted completely.

Just as we didn’t discuss the matter of him staying with me, so too was he drawn into the adventure I was a part of without any explanation. He just… came along. He left his work, his house, his friends, his life. As if none of it mattered to him anymore. The enormity of what he did didn’t really hit me until, I’m ashamed to admit, years later. In fact, I’m not sure until this very moment of writing these words down did it really sink in. He left everything. For a girl he’d met a few weeks before. He knew before I did, he knew that forever was our future. It’s not easy to look back on all this now. I see how much I hurt, how much I blamed myself for things so far out of my control, and how it made me push against those that meant the most to me. I can see so clearly now how much I hurt Devlin every time I did. I was so young, though I suppose I still am, but I was so completely inexperienced. What did I know of matters of the heart, besides my long unrequited love of my ageless mentor? I had buried, I had repressed, I had ignored. I had never processed, I had never fully healed from my past. I couldn’t even remember half of it, it was so well hidden insides the folds of my memory. Maybe I shouldn’t have been with anyone at all. I wasn’t mature enough and I certainly wasn’t stable enough, but Devlin stuck by me, in spite of all the pain he endured.

He stuck by me, because he loved me. And he made the mistake of telling me that. We couldn’t have been together longer than a month at that point, but we spent every moment together, and I felt just as intensely for him as he felt for me. What Devlin didn’t know, however, was my history. He didn’t know the terror that the word “love” held for me. He had seen the scars, but I had never explained, had never told him why it was that I often snuck off to curl up next to Widget at night, or why the sight of a whip sent me running for a hiding place. He held me close, kissing up my neck, and whispered it in my ear. “I love you, Wren.” His breath warm against my skin, it would have been a perfect moment to nearly every other woman in the world. Instead, I turned and fled.

The next series of events don’t paint me in a flattering light. There’s no way to get around that. Part of the point of this is to admit my flaws and look the truth in the face, isn’t it? At least what I know to be the truth. This truth is painful and seeing it all laid out, I still don’t know how it is that I am lucky enough to go to sleep each night with Devlin by my side.

Devlin and I… made up. Sort of. I didn’t speak to him for quite a while. I avoided him whenever i could and acted like he didn’t exist when I couldn’t. My only excuse for that is that I couldn’t process my own emotions and Devlin’s love terrified me. My love for Devlin terrified me. But I finally saw his frustration and we made up the way that usually works best for us: with lots and lots of sex. Things were still rather tense, but… we were speaking at least. I was attempting to try.

Then it all went to shit. Yes, it’s time for the villain of the story to reappear, though we don’t know it yet. It started with what at first seemed to be a miracle. Thrush appeared.

The questions of how he had found me or what he was doing there didn’t even cross my mind. He had come for me, of course. When he swept me up into his arms, I felt like the off-kilter world had been set right. Then the unthinkable happened. He said he had killed Fang. And Gabriel. He had made everything safe for me. And then he told me he loved me. And not in the teacher/student sort of way. This man I had fallen so hard for, who I had idolized for so long, was in love with me too and had just rid the world of those that hurt me. But I had Devlin now…

I had to make a decision. I thought, I agonized, I replayed events over and over in my mind. Devlin and I made sense, and I loved him, even if I wouldn’t say it. Even though I had known him for so short a time, we connected and we fit. What would my life with Thrush look like, anyway? We certainly wouldn’t ever be viewed as a normal couple, and he would watch me grow old and die. But it was like Thrush telling me he loved me, or maybe it was the news of Fang’s death, that opened the floodgates for my own love. I told Thrush I loved him, but that I couldn’t be with him. I couldn’t leave with him. Then I went to Devlin and I finally told him that I loved him. I threw myself into his arms and cried and told him I loved him over and over again.

Then I betrayed him. I wounded him so deeply that it still shames me. I woke in the middle of the night and felt in my heart that I had made a mistake. I had others in the group cause a distraction so I could slip away, and I went in search of Thrush. I found him in an inn in Esgald. I told him of all the love for him I had in my heart. And there I spent the next hour or so in his arms, finally giving in to the needs we’d both had for so long. Our love was unrequited no more.

But when we were finished, Thrush changed. He became cruel, laughing at me and trying to throw me out of the room. I didn’t know it then, but he was fighting against a powerful enchantment, doing everything he could to save me from the fate he knew I’d suffer if I stayed in that room with him. But it was too late. I heard the laugh from down the hall, and heard a familiar voice say “I smell a Rat!”

~description of that whole fight and Alice and finding out what was up with Thrush and going back to Devlin and about the cottage!~

I now found myself in an awkward position, because I had a secret. Well, I had so many, but this one was new, and larger than the rest. I was pregnant. And had just been dumped. Devlin would argue that he didn’t “dump” me, but there’s no denying that we were broken up. He didn’t “leave” me, but I felt alone. I was so young, I had never even considered having children, and now there I was facing what I truly believed would be single motherhood.

This is the story of my life and the events that preceded those in Dolbry, after all, so I feel I must be honest. Perhaps my husband would disagree with me here. I can imagine his face if I said to him, “Love, I’m going to tell anyone who will listen that I tried to get rid of our child.” But it is a moment in our lives, one that shaped who we are, and who we are together, so I find myself blundering ahead.

I begged Blaise to help me. Blaise, with her reverence for life and her devotion to her goddess. She healed us when we were injured, she cared for us at every turn, and I asked her to do this for me. To take away this spark of life from inside of me. I told her I would find another way if she wouldn’t help me, and without the power of a cleric or someone who knew what they were doing, that could be fatal. She agreed in order to save my life.

I drank a foul tasting tea, and experienced what I believed to be an awful miscarriage. I was wracked with horrible cramps and covered in blood, and I knew almost immediately what true regret felt like. So many things before in my life had hurt, but this, destroying the life that Devlin and I had created, was one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced.

The next few days were torture. I was lost in my misery. I couldn’t focus on anything, I couldn’t eat. What I had done haunted me. I eventually couldn’t hold it in any longer, and I managed to tell Widget. Oh Widget, with his hair trigger temper.

I awoke to a fight outside the tent in which Widget was attempting to kill Devlin.

It was quite the night.

Eventually Widget was subdued, and Devlin turned on me. What had I told Widget, he wanted to know? Why did Widget thing he had killed someone? The story of what I had done came out then. Before he’d hardly had time to react to it, however, Blaise was stepping in to tell us… that I hadn’t lost the baby at all. That she couldn’t go through with it, and had, well, tricked me. I cried, Devlin yelled (Devlin almost never yells), and finally I started to realize how… just maybe… this was wonderful. Hadn’t I just been mourning my lost baby? And now I knew she was still with me. I began to embrace it, and soon, Devlin and I were back in each other’s arms, excited about the prospect of a family together. It was just days later that he proposed to me, the details of that, I keep close to my heart. Trust that it was painfully romantic. I said yes of course. And we had never been happier.

Once again, enter our villain.

~all about the Fang fight (he escapes) and how she lost her baby, the return of the ring, glossing over, just saying there was a lot of strife and fighting and they were torn apart and brought back together several times, bringing up to speed on what the group was actually doing at that time, saving Thrush, meeting Devlin’s family~

But I wasn’t getting better. I wasn’t healing. I grieved for our baby every day. I wasn’t eating. I had gotten so skinny that I was more of a liability in battle than anything else. I was weak and tired easily. I was slowly dying, but I didn’t want to die slow. I wanted to die right then. It got to be too much. I couldn’t take the constant pain. It had been months but I was still living the hell every day. Fang had ruined me. And I couldn’t live any longer.

I fought with Devlin and Widget, yelling about my pain, demanding that they let me go, while Devlin told Widget not to let me leave his sight. He knew what was on my mind and it terrified him. He loved me more than I could ever understand. I was too broken in that moment to know what love was at all besides what I felt for that little lost person I had wanted to grow in my belly.

I slashed my arm open right in front of them, and then I slashed the other one. Not the most effective suicide plan, all things considered, but I was desperate. Of course, I passed out before I died, and in that moment, Widget grabbed me and rushed to throw me in a freezing cold bath while Devlin got his healing wands. Together, they held me back from the edge of death.

They wrapped me up, and gathered all of our friends. It was time for an intervention.

~about the intervention, Alice, and about seeing Thrush again, then the developments in the adventure and Thrush’s suggestion that he take her away~

“Where would we go?” I asked him. But I knew that I didn’t care about the answer. I had to get out of there. Get away from the hushed voices and the worry and the pity. I had to get some distance from the people who loved me so much.

~About leaving and killing the half-orc and Thrush’s declaration of love when they got to Dolbry and all the feelings tied up with that, then on to “a friend’s shop” where he tells her about the city status~

At first I was sure I’d misheard him. A catalyst? A street legend? A candle in the darkest hour? What was he talking about? I was just… me. I was less than twenty pounds soaking wet, I was a collection of scars held together by stretched skin and bones, I was fucked up beyond belief.  They must have been truly lost to hail me as a story of hope. How could people be turning to my story in their time of need? Maybe no one would have been if they’d known the state I was in. Maybe they’d have told me to stay far, far away. No thank you, we don’t need help, you can keep your revolution to yourself!

But Dolbry was in my blood. The beating of my heart said its name. Dol-bry. Dol-bry. Dol-bry. What would I do for my city? Would I die for it? No, dying was easy.

I would live. For Dolbry. 

[augustawren]

Birthday

Characters: Faye, Elora, Devin Universe: Fang/Broken AU

“Alright, bedtime!” Faye said, standing with a hand on her hip. “Let’s go, you two.”

Elora threw head back and sighed dramatically. “You’re not in charge, Faye! Dad said we could stay up late since it’s our birthday!”

“Yeah, well,” Faye gestured to Devlin asleep in the chair by the fire. “Dad’s out, so that means I’m in charge.”

Devin cleared his throat. “Actually,” he said, sounding meek and timid as he always did, “I think Widget would be next in line. As far as people in charge goes. Then Blaise. Or are they kind of equal? I think they are, but Dad turns to Widget first if he’s--”

“Okay! Got it, Dev! But they’re already sleeping! So! That leaves me. It’s not even your birthday anymore it’s so late.”

That drew a painful silence from the room. Finally Faye cleared her throat. “Let’s go then.”

The twins didn’t protest again, Elora closing her book on diplomacy that Aunt Lou had given her, and Devin gathered up the parchment, quill, and book he’d been using to practice his elven.

Faye smiled at them, ruffling Devin’s hair, with it’s white tuff in the front. “Only two kids I know who’d want to stay up late on their birthday to study. Say goodnight to Dad.”

Elora went over to place a gentle kiss on Devlin’s cheek. “Night, Dad,” she whispered.

“M’wake!” he said, his eyes opening halfway as he sat up. He stifled a yawn.

Devin stepped up then to hug Devlin tightly. “Goodnight, Daddy,” he whispered.

“Happy birthday, you two,” he said, smiling.

Devin gave Devlin a small smile. “I think our birthday’s over.”

Devlin’s smile faded some, but he reached out to squeeze his son’s hand. “I love you guys. Get some sleep.”

Faye corralled Elora and Devin and ushered them to their room and supervised while they got ready, making sure they each had their turn in the bathroom. Then she tucked them each into their beds, pulling the blankets up to their chins.

“I love you, El,” she whispered, kissing her sister on the forehead, then going over to Devin and repeating the action. “I love you, Dev.”

As she headed to the door, Devin cleared his throat nervously again. “Faye?” he said softly.

She turned around, her hand on the light switch. “Yeah?”

Devin glanced over at Elora, then back to Faye. “Could you tell us a Mom story? Just… you know. Because it’s…”

Faye nodded as he trailed off. “Of course.” She went back into the room, sitting on the edge of Devin’s bed. She pushed her hair behind her ear, the long streak of white shimmering in the light. “Hmmm. Well, do you want me to read something from her book? Or just one I remember?”

“Read the part about meeting Dad!” Elora said, perking up. “I like that part!”

“I wanna hear about what she was like… right before we were born,” Devin said.

“Alright, I’ll do both. Though… I’m not sure what you wanna know, Dev. Like right, right before you were born?”

He nodded.

Faye chewed her lip. “Well, you know she had to be on bed rest…”

“Did she like it? What did she do all day?” Elora asked.

“She… no, she didn’t like it. She hated it, actually. She didn’t like being so… trapped. Well you know by now how stubborn she was! She liked to do things her way, and when she couldn’t, I don’t think she was very happy about it.”

“Did she resent us?” Devin asked softly, looking down.

Faye reached over to squeeze his hand. “Not for one second. She loved you two with her whole heart. She was so excited to be pregnant. I used to curl up next to her in bed and we’d talk about what we thought you’d be like, and names for you… She told me how much she wished she could be walking around, showing off her ginormous belly. She told me how we’d all--” Faye’s words caught in her throat and she looked up at the ceiling taking a deep breath. “We’d all go out after you were born, and she’d wrap one of you up against my chest, and let me hold you close if I was really careful.” Faye wiped at a tear. “We painted a lot together, mostly in the first few months.” She grimaced. “I got…” She closed her eyes and shook her head, more tears falling. “I got tired of being cooped up in the room,” she whispered, her voice choked.

Devin squeezed her hand. “You were little, Faye. You didn’t know.”

“I know,” she said, wiping at her tears. “I just… if I had known it was the last few months I’d have with her… When you were born though, oh gods, she was so happy. It was like she hadn’t felt sad or isolated at all over the last few months. She knew it had all been worth it. And you already know how she saved you, Dev.”

Devin wet his lips, his cheeks flushing. “Can you tell it again?”

Faye smiled. “You two decided you didn’t want to wait for your time, so you came early. Two and a half months early! Now Elora, you came out okay. You were little, gods you were so little.” She smiled over at her sister. “But you were crying and you were okay.” Her face grew solemn. “But when you came out, Dev, you weren’t breathing, and you were even smaller than El. You were so tiny that the midwife was convinced you couldn’t live, and she gave up on trying to bring you around. But Mom didn’t give up. She held you and she rubbed you and she prayed and prayed and held you close, until she heard you cry.”

Devin hastily wiped at a tear that had slipped down his cheek. Even Elora, always so rambunctious and wild was subdued, staring up at the ceiling, chewing at her lip.

“She held you both on her chest against her skin, keeping you warm and nursing you. She loved you so much. She loved all of us more than we can ever know. She still does. I know it.” Faye put a hand over her heart. “I can feel it in here. She loves us so much.”

Both of the twins wiped at their eyes, then put their hands over their hearts and nodded.

They were quiet for a little bit, and then Faye smiled. “Alright, now, ready to hear about her meeting Dad?”

Elora giggled and nodded.

Faye pulled a worn book off the shelf between their beds and cracked it open to a marked page.

“ I saw him before I heard him. Our party, led of course by Lou, making its way through the crowded street, when a voice rose above the dim.

“Make way, make way, make way!” Words that will stay in my heart until I take my very last breath.

I won’t say anything so romantic happened as feeling like all the air had left my lungs when I saw him. I didn’t swoon, I didn’t feel the instant pull of “love at first sight”. He was certainly handsome; his curls wild, his jaw strong and stubbled… But I wasn’t in the habit of lusting over random men I met in the street, and any potential lusting was squashed immediately when he spoke. First he offered Lou a small bow. “My lady,” he said, still out of breath from running. “My lovely lady,” he said when he saw Edana. Then he turned his eyes to me and bowed his head in respect. “Grandmother.” And then he took back off running, which was lucky for him because I was ready to kick his ass.

As it turned out, we all happened to be headed to the same place, though he got there well before we did. When we entered the factory we had been headed for and I saw him there, I fixed him with my darkest glare. He was introduced to each of us, and when he got a better look at me, his eyes were wide. “Not a grandmother!” he proclaimed, as if I needed to be told. He bowed low and took my hand to kiss it, though I pulled away.

“Devlin Goodfellow, procurement specialist,” he said.

I exchanged hostile words with him. At least, hostile on my end. Charming on his. He stepped up close to me, looking at me in a way I’d never noticed a man look at me before. He asked me to dinner. To make up for his mistake. He was flirting with me. Him. A man. He’d just asked me on a date! It didn’t seem like a “freak fuck” like I came to believe my first time was; a man obsessed with collecting the bizarrest of conquest stories. This seemed like Devlin Goodfellow was genuinely interested in me, though I couldn’t figure out why. I think it was mostly due to how stunned I was that I accepted his invitation.

What you should know about Devlin right away, and what I should have immediately guessed about him, is that he is a romantic. A hopeless romantic. Sweeping women off their feet has always been one of his favorite things to do, if you ask me. And sweep he did on that first date. Quite literally, actually, though his mother may read this at some point so I won’t go into many details on that score. He was a perfect gentleman.

From that point on, we were practically inseparable. I don’t think we even talked about it, he just began staying in my inn room and we spent every day together. He showed me the Steamworks; the markets, the best places to eat, all its little secrets. Though in all honesty, in those early days, we didn’t do a lot of leaving the inn room. Whenever we did, our fingers were interlaced or his arm was around my waist, we were never not touching. I couldn’t get enough of him and it was like he felt the same, though I still couldn’t understand why. He saw, very early and accidently, the mesh of scars and the brand on my back. It’s not exactly something you show off at parties and laugh about, so when I realized he’d seen, I was mortified. As he does with all things, Devlin handled it with careful grace. He held me in his arms and murmured how much he cared for me, how he always wanted to be by my side, and that the scars did not disgust him the way I imagined they did. He called me beautiful, again and again, and my heart melted completely.

Just as we didn’t discuss the matter of him staying with me, so too was he drawn into the adventure I was a part of without any explanation. He just… came along. He left his work, his house, his friends, his life. As if none of it mattered to him anymore. The enormity of what he did didn’t really hit me until, I’m ashamed to admit, years later. In fact, I’m not sure until this very moment of writing these words down did it really sink in. He left everything. For a girl he’d met a few weeks before. He knew before I did, he knew that forever was our future. It’s not easy to look back on all this now. I see how much I hurt, how much I blamed myself for things so far out of my control, and how it made me push against those that meant the most to me. I can see so clearly now how much I hurt Devlin every time I did. I was so young, though I suppose I still am, but I was so completely inexperienced. What did I know of matters of the heart, besides my long unrequited love of my ageless mentor? I had buried, I had repressed, I had ignored. I had never processed, I had never fully healed from my past. I couldn’t even remember half of it, it was so well hidden insides the folds of my memory. Maybe I shouldn’t have been with anyone at all. I wasn’t mature enough and I certainly wasn’t stable enough, but Devlin stuck by me, in spite of all the pain he endured, and I will love him forever for never giving up on me.”

The twins giggled or rolled their eyes at all the appropriate places, and a few times Faye choked up, but when she was finished, they were all smiling.

Faye put the book back. “Alright you big twelve year olds. Now it’s really time for sleep. We’ll visit Mom’s garden tomorrow and I’m sure you’ll hear plenty more stories about her that you know well enough to tell yourselves.”

“Thanks, sis,” Elora said. “Love you.” “Yeah,” Devin echoed. “Love you.”

Faye got up and went to the light switch. “I love you too. Goodnight.”