#i usually prefere taller kyle but this is the exception

[laconchadetumadre]

OOO okay hmmm…there’s so much potential. the ending of the movie implies that christophe’s alive again…how do you think he was able to process that? what’s he doing nowadays?

OMG HIII ANOTHER ASK WHAT IS THIS CHRISTMAS???

ok so, i'm actually very unoriginal so most of my christophe post-canon headcanons are stolen from one certain fic i keep talking about but basically the more "meta" answer is that christophe, despite being "alive", just isnt part of the universe where the canon takes place anymore. in some fics i've seen he's sorta been returned to imaginationland or some other sort of dimension where other "forgotten" characters are (i think in one hollycomb fic he's an angel but is in hell lol), or he still exists in the canon but isnt in south park (some prefer to send him all the way back to europe or just outside of the us).

another thing i've noticed when writers go the meta route is they make christophe older than the m4 (and kyle, in particular) to show that he exists outside of the events of the canon, therefore he gets to age normally. this trope between him and kyle is one of my faves because kyle winds up looking like a bratty child next to a christophe who is taller, stronger and older than him and like SJAKSJ idk its just very cute to me seeing kyle being babied when he is usually the one trying to be an older brother for others (but i also love when this is subverted cause christophe isnt the most mature character even if he is a few years older than kyle in fics).

another alternative to post-canon christophe i like is that he's still there in south park but just doesn't gaf about the boys lol.

some write christophe as still a member of la resistance, along with gregory and the other foreign kids (yes, even pip. tho this i've only seen once), and as a man who is always on a mission and therefore too busy for the main 4's bs.

but what i actually hc is that christophe is just homeschooled and grounded a lot. like, ik everyone takes the mercenary thing literally but i thought it would be funny if he just plays pretend to be a mercenary. And so that previous "mission" that he and gregory refer to in the movie was actually just christophe trying to break into the zoo, getting caught, probably cursed god in the heat of the moment and got grounded, obviously.

so i think he basically is just a regular kid who takes roleplay way too seriously. i've even thought about him not even being french and just imitating an accent he's heard in movies. so, if we go for this hc, we could infer that he is still in south park, still gets homeschooled but runs away occasionally and gets grounded for it.

as a teen, i like to think that christophe will work at a graveyard or maybe doing landscaping (to keep his diggin mole thing) where he might run into kenny who basically takes up any low skill job around south park.

from here on out im gonna talk a bit more about post-canon christophe headcanon related to kyle cause im kystophe trash SUE ME

anyways, so i think the only way for him to ever be involved with the boys again is through another "mission". in my favorite fic depicting kystophe and this trope, christophe is tasked to break kyle out of captivity and bring him to la resistance and basically treats kyle like a bratty prince but also like a sack of potatoes LOL so idk, regardless of which of the boys he is paired with i think his attitude would be about the same (except for cartman whom i think he might hold a grudge against cause of the dogs thing yk and kenny cause he’s swag and stuff) this trope just works for christophe, just randomly popping back into the boys lives because he's been tasked to do so and acting like he dgaf.

If christophe were to just be enrolled into public school, I think it'd take a while for him to run into the boys again. heck, for all we know he might go to school in the canon and the boys just havent seen him around.

i think one day kyle might randomly spot him and go "wait, didn't you die?" and christophe most likely wont even acknowledge the canadian war, let alone his death (now that i'm writing this out, kyle and christophe technically shouldn't remember everyone dying in the war, huh... but meh, i like this trope because kyle being gaslighted lightheartedly is fun LOL also, it would be funny if he remembers christophe dying but not kenny)

i dont really see christophe being very social or outgoing. kyle might be interested in him just out of curiosity at first, more so if he remembers christophe dying, but eventually grows to genuinely care for christophe (not too much tho, just in the way kyle cares for anyone who seems to be having too hard of a time yk). i like to imagine them having a rocky start with christophe confusing kyle's caringness and worry for meddling and self-righteousness. i've said so before in an ask that i think christophe would confuse kyle for a spineless guy but once he realizes kyle isn't (probably by witness a good cartman beatdown) he will gain some respect for kyle.

this might be a bit more ooc and even self indulgent but i think christophe is an "intense" friend (or seems that way simply because he is a bit socially awkward and says a lot of weird cryptic shit) which would lead to a lot of awkward and funny moments with kyle who basically decided to make christophe his problem LOL.

this is very long already, sorry if it makes no sense or if it has too many typos. I literally answered this as soon as I saw the ask and got carried away as always.

thanks for the ask again!

[lovemesomesurveys]

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? Yeah. What’s your favorite season of the year? Fall and winter. Do you have pop-tarts in your house right now? Nope. Is anyone’s birthday coming up? My dad’s is next month. Who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? Yikes. No one. Does someone owe you over twenty dollars? No.

Do you remember who you liked in grade eight? My best guy friend at the time, Kyle. When was the last time you burned any part of your body? I don’t recall. What are the last three songs you listened to? Diamonds by Megan the Stallion ft. Normani Going Bad by Meek Mill ft. Drake Yummy by Justin Bieber. Have you ever overflown a bathtub? No. Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? No. I stopped doing that a few years ago. Have you ever called somebody dollface? Yeah, I used to say that sometimes jokingly. If I gave you ten dollars, what would you spend it on? Food. Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? No! What do you do in awkward situations? Act awkward and make it even more awkward haha. Are you up later than you should be? I’m always up this late.  What are you most excited about right now? Nothing. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? Nope. Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? No. How long was the longest survey you ever took? I’ve done most of the 5,000 questions survey. Do you like sour candy? No. I don’t enjoy the sour sensation and it irritates my mouth. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? I don’t plan on ever getting married. Do you have Verizon? Yes. What do you do to stay awake when you’re tired? Try to do something like this. Are all nighters something you have grown used to? Yeah. I usually go to bed around 5ish, sometimes not even until like 6. That’s pretty much morning. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I never wear sunglasses. I also don’t drive. Do you wear your shoes around the house? No. Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? Nope. Even in the summer when I complain about being hot and miserable, I still take hot showers. I’m weird. What clothes are you most comfortable in? Leggings and oversized tees. Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? For the most part. What has changed most about you in the past year? Nothing in a good way. Are you good at painting nails? No. If it’s late at night and you’re hungry, what do you reach for? Nothing, I just wait until later. Smoothies or slushies? I haven’t had either one in years. Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? Nopeee. Be honest, have you ever used Wikipedia for school work? I’ve gotten info and ideas, but I fact checked reliable sources. What word should you really probably remove from your vocabulary? Hmm. Can you multitask well? Depends on what I’m doing. What’s your opinion on good grammar: important or not? Important to me. Will you eat something if it falls on the ground? Nopeee. The second it touches the ground, it’s germ food. Do you rip out the page if you make a mistake writing, or cross it out? I cross it out if using a pen. Or use white-out if I have it. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? Blah, nooo. Do you see the value in education? Absolutely. Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? I’ve volunteered at homeless shelters, an animal shelter, a nursing home, the hospital, and for events with the club I was in in college. Do you use a full length mirror daily? No. Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? I can’t. What type of TV shows do you like best? Dramas. Any TV shows you sit down weekly to watch? Yeah, a few. Do you care much for the music on the radio? I haven’t listened to the radio in so long. Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? I don’t have a sex life. Even if you don’t like politics, do you still have opinions on the issues? Of course. Mac or PC? Mac. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yeah. Mostly just coffee. Will you tell someone if there’s something in their teeth? I’m so bad about that. :X Are you prone to illness? I have health issues, but I don’t get colds and things like that often. I feel sick a lot for other reasons. What does most of your money go toward? Food and clothes. Do you ever actually make your bed? It stays made. I sleep on top of the blankets and just use a throw blanket. Do you make an effort to eat healthy? No. :X How are things between the person you like/love/are with? I’m single and I don’t like anyone in that way. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. When was the last time something bothered you? There’s always something. I bet you miss someone, huh? Yep. Does anyone hate you for no reason? I’m sure they have a good reason. The last time you kissed someone, what color of shirt were they wearing? I don’t recall. That was so long ago. What did you have for breakfast? Nothing, yet.  What year do/did you graduate? I graduated college back in 2015. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? Probably tequila. How long until your next birthday? 5 months. What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall? I don’t have anything in particular.  Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Mhm. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? I would have loved to have seen Linkin Park when Chester was still alive. :( If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? As tempting as the money is, I honestly think I’d go with changing a regret. If I could change a health related one, it would make a big difference with something I’m dealing with now. It would be very beneficial.  I bet you kissed someone last night, right? Nope. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? Like 4 years ago. Are you taller than your mom? No. Do you think your last ex will eventually want to be with you again? No and that’s fine. I moved on years ago. Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah, a few people. I’ve been high myself. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? At night. Think back to June. Were you in a relationship? Nope. I’ve been single for several years now. It’s been 4 years since I’ve even talked to anyone in that way. What would you do if your best friend told you they were moving? Uh, I’d have a lot of questions if my mom told me that. If she’s moving, so are we (my dad, brother, doggo, and I). You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, problems? No, it’d just be super awkward. It’s been so long since we’ve seen or even talked to each other, so. What’s so special about what you’re wearing? Nothing. Does anyone think you are a bitch? Probably. Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? No. Could you handle living with a male roommate? That’d only happen if it were a boyfriend. What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? I’d like to be up by then already, but we’ll see. Are you ticklish? Just my neck. Are you easily scared by horror movies? Not anymore. I love scary movies, though. Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? We just don’t talk anymore.  Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Not romantic feelings. What do you miss the most about your past? I miss when I wasn’t dealing with certain issues. I miss when I was in college only cause I was actually doing something with my life and I had goals and motivation back then. I really miss my childhood. Are any of your friends taller than you? Ha, most people are taller than me except for small children. When is the next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea. It’s hard for me to imagine ever finding someone again, honestly. Was this past weekend a good one? I didn’t feel well. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah. Plan on getting drunk or high tonight? No. In the past week, have you cried hysterically? Not hysterically. Are you satisfied with your life as of now? No. Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? Yes. Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else? Nope. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No. Have you ever been rude to someone without even realizing it? Probably :/ Are your nails painted? No. I haven’t painted my nails in years. Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody?

 Like I said, it’s really hard for me to imagine ever finding someone. Are you on birth control? No. Has a guy/girl sat on your bed before? Yeah. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No. How bad are heartbreaks? They’re horrible to say the very least. They’re, well, heartbreaking. Have you ever kissed anyone with the name starting with an R? No. Last time you were really happy? I felt happiness during my Disneyland trip. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I’ve gone almost 10 years now and I have no desire to drink. I don’t miss it at all. Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Yes. Connection between you and the last person who messaged you? I think my aunt last messaged me on Facebook. Do you tend to fall for players? No. I fell for guys who didn’t fall for me. Why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex? It didn’t work out and we moved on. Where is your biological father right now? He’s in bed asleep in the next room. Who’s the last person that you felt was stalking you? I’ve never felt that way, thankfully. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My mom and brother. I’m actually going later today with my mom. Who else is in the room with you? Just me. How is your hair right now? It’s up in a bun. Have you ever asked a boy for advice? Yeah, I used to ask my guy friends for advice about guys. When you say you don’t care, do you mean it? For the most part, no. Did you say “f—” today? Not so far. I probably won’t. I rarely drop an f bomb. How late did you stay up last night? I think around 430AM. Could you go a month without cursing? Yeah. I don’t curse a lot. Do you have a job? If so where? Nope. Do you usually have weird dreams? All my dreams are weird. What color is your hair? I dye it red. What was the last thing you drank? Starbucks Doubleshot. Water with ice or no ice? No ice. I’m not an ice fan.  Are you wrapped in a blanket? No. Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? No. Have you spoken to your mother today? Not yet. It’s 4:30 in the morning, I haven’t talked to anyone so far. Father? ^^^