#i want to put nandermo in a can and shake them around

[sharkbath]

Men would rather create fake ceremonies so they have an excuse to touch/be touched by their crush than just admitting their feelings.

[cookinguptales]

i really love h/c but ESPECIALLY when it’s a dynamic like Nandermo. when one of them (Nandor) is constantly repressing, ignoring, or flat out misinterpreting their own feelings, and has a pretty set but also insecure idea of how they should be treating and behaving around the other (i.e. the unstable familiar/bodyguard/vampire dynamic), and then it all falls apart in the face of the person they’re trying not to care about getting hurt in some way? incredible.

and also focusing on Guillermo’s claustrophobia would be so interesting - particularly with the context of the coffin livestream where it genuinely seems like he thought he was going to die in there. you’re right, the writers have already tortured him a fair bit but we haven’t seen Nandor pick up the pieces in canon (yet?) so very excited about this idea!!!!!!!!

Right? Like when Nandor, who won't even let Guillermo hug him, totally forgot himself and dove into that hole?? And then comforted Guillermo and dried his hair? I AM STILL RIDING THAT HIGH...

Right, I agree. I've kind of wanted to write Guillermo claustrophobia fic ever since the s3 finale aired, but the coffin livestream really cemented that. Most of the stream was kind of funny and endearing, but his last few moments were genuinely harrowing. I felt so bad for him. I feel like, unlike most of the other shit they put him through, that coffin situation would have created real and genuine trauma for him to work through. And then to do it to him TWICE...

The fact that he still pulled out a stake to protect Nadja after being in that crate for two weeks is a testament to how much he loves them, tbh. I just want to write them loving him back, especially Nandor. ;; Guillermo deserves real comfort for that experience. I think it can be hard for the vampires to fully understand how awful it was for him because, well, they sleep in coffins for weeks all the time. But maybe if they saw how it affected him...

ugh, I wanna write it so bad. I'll sit on it for a couple weeks to see how a few storylines shake out, but... I feel like I'm definitely gonna write this eventually...

[steve-keychain]

I finally got around to binging your wwdits fic, and - holy shit man - it's incredible. I enjoyed every sentence; I loved the repeating motifs and symbols and the fucked up pseudo-religious dreams that Guillermo had. I always enjoy canon for what it is, but I often feel the comedy takes away some of the real heartbreak the characters have experienced. If wwdits was going for a more serious framing, THIS kind of fic hits the nail on the head. Rewriting the master/servant dynamic into something new - something not based on a doomed transaction - freshened the whole thing up for me, though I appreciate that you still kept them Weird. Really scratches the itch of adoration borderlining into horror. 10/10 would read again

oH MY GOD CERTIFIED ICONIC ASK- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STOPPING BY TO SAY ALL THIS???? omg let me try to become Normal and have Normal thoughts (this is a long response but. you left good thoughts so im piling more thoughts onto this bus)

I am so happy you've enjoyed the Wonderful Weird World of Violet Hill, it means so very much that you read through it and saw exactly what I'm trying to put out there, message/theme wise. I wondered literally that- 'what would shadows be if it wasnt as much of a comedy' and this is where my brain took me lmaO. I worked really really hard to try and Fit their characterizations to this new world, and it's really just lovely to hear that they're hitting their marks within the context of VH!

And yeah god, I just adore the idea of like. Guillermo's Catholicism acting as a ghost almost? I wanted it to Creep its way into the story, and it's going bonkers bananas in there rn a;lsdkjfl; Beyond his whole deal too, Nandor is inherently also haunted- so putting them together in this dynamic Shakes them up, because they can talk about it as equals!! Here are two characters profoundly disturbed/unable to escape their pasts. What if they had freaky dreams about it. Roll the tape a;lsdkfjsa

And exactly like you said, all of them underneath their facades- are deeply troubled. I really wanted to sit down and like. Unpack as much of that as I could, and I wanted to do it in a world that left them free from their existing dynamics-this is obvious with nandermo just being two Dudes, but I really wanted Nadja and Laszlo to feel comfy with openly loving Guillermo. He's their Stu. I wanted a world where, for once, Guillermo was universally adored, and herE WE ARE

Shadows has some of the most interesting and unique characters I've seen in media in a long fucking time, so it would have been such a disservice to them all if I didn't keep them all (mostly) stupid/silly as fuck alfkdlksdjfa. So I am happy you found this fic, my dear mutual, and are loving it for all its horrific, strange, (and romantic oh god hitting myself over the head with a pan how did i write so much vampire pining already) new vibes!!! I'm holding this ask dear to my heart, thank you so very much for letting me know you enjoyed ;___; <3 <3 <3 <3

[saltysalmonkid]

As part of me coping with the wwdits hiatus here are some nandermo relationship hcs for you on this fine day

The first one to two years or so of their relationship are still pretty rocky, they are very much on-again-off-again and it drives nadja up the fucking wall because everytime they get into a fight BOTH of them turn to her (because she and guillermo became besties in england hehehehheh) (and i hc her and nandor to have a kind of sibling relationship)

Finally Guillermo all but drags Nandor to couples therapy and they sort their shit out and get much better at communicating

When they are together theyre like disgustingly sappy like im talking nandor sneaks up behind guillermo and puts his hands over his eyes and says "guess who!!!11!!!1" and guillermo pretends to guess incorrectly until he finally says "nandor?" and nandor uncovers his eyes and goes "yeeees!!" and then they make out kind of sappy and obnoxious

I personally do not care for relationship milestones but they absolutely make a huge deal out of every single one like grand romantic gestures up the wazoo (nandor is less good at it than guillermo is bc hes a bit of a dum dum but guillermo doesnt mind)

Nandor refers to guillermo as "my guillermo" at any chance he can get and shows him off at every opportunity like he'll be sucking on his victims neck and as theyre slowly dying out he'll be like "and yesterday he woke me up with breakfast in bed, so romantic, what a man, really, i am so lucky.."

Whenever theyre together anywhere theyre always touching each other in some way, like arm around the shoulder, holding hands, nandor draping himself over guillermo etc theyre like glued together basically

When guillermo first introduces nandor to his mother she is horrified and pulls him aside and goes like "memo, my darling, i don't want to freak you out, and i know this is going to sound crazy but you have to believe me, ok? Your boyfriend is a vampire." and he goes "oh how did you know?" and she shakes him like a fucking ragdoll

She's okay with him being gay and trans but she DRAWS THE LINE AT VAMPIREFUCKER!!1!11! /j

She's uber wary of nandor at first bc, you know, she's a vampire slayer but she sees how doting they are on each other and eventually comes around. But not before threatening nandor with a slow and painful death if he ever dares hurt her son and scaring the crap out of him.

He refers to silvia solely as "madame de la cruz" henceforth

Also i feel like this ones a given but they have the weirdest freakiest sex known to man. Mostly bc nandor is a masochist. And i will die on the hill that guillermo is the dom in the relationship.

Ok thats all i have for now feel free to rb with your own hcs tho i will gobble them up like fries

[chelsfic]

I Think We Could Do It if We Tried - Guillermo x Nandor Fluffy One-shot

Summary: Guillermo comforts Nandor on his saddest night and revelations are made during bath time. (Takes place during S2 E2, Ghosts)

A/N: Some recovery fluff. P.S. I always associate this song with Nandermo thanks to this really sweet fancam.

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, First kiss, Yearning, Soft hours, Guillermo being compared to a horse, Nudity but no smut

---

"You know I'll do anything you ask me to But oh my God, I think I'm in love with you Standing here alone now, think that we can drive around I just wanna say how I love you with your hair down Baby, you don't got to fight, I'll be here til the end of time Wishing that you were mine, pull you in, it's alright" --"Sofia" by Clairo

Guillermo stands frozen in place, the phantom image of ghost Nandor and his steed still hangs in his field of vision like the imprint of a camera’s flash. His master looks stricken and utterly alone. He’s never seen him so vulnerable.

He approaches cautiously, ready for the cold rebuke that always comes whenever he attempts to connect with Nandor. Honestly, Guillermo doesn’t know why he keeps trying. He supposes it’s because every now and then, tonight for instance, the curtain parts and his master reveals a bit of the tender soul that he keeps so well guarded by bravado and arrogance.

“They’re at peace now, Master,” Guillermo says quietly, reaching out to pat Nandor’s arm. 

Nandor is silent for a beat, his face tensed with emotion and anxiety. Finally, he turns to his familiar and speaks in a lost, trembling voice.

“Hug?”

Guillermo feels the breath rush out of his lungs and his lips curl into a quick, here-and-gone grin. He darts his eyes to the camera crew before looking back at Nandor and schooling his features into bland subservience.

“Of course, master,” he answers, opening his arms and calmly wrapping them around the hulking vampire, as if this isn’t a partial fulfillment of his most dearly held wish. “It’s alright, master.”

Eleven years of service. Nearly eleven years of pining and secretly loving his master. And this is the first time they’ve ever hugged. Nandor holds Guillermo tight to his chest, as if clinging to a life preserver. He buries his face into his familiar’s soft, sweater-clad shoulder and his breath hitches silently, tugging at the human’s heart strings. Guillermo’s face is squished into Nandor’s broad chest, his glasses are askew and a wide, blissed out smile spreads over his lips. He locks his hands together at the small of Nandor’s back and breathes in the earthy...slightly off scent of his master. Oh, right...the ectoplasm. 

Guillermo doesn’t even care that his face is currently pressed up against dried ghost gloop. This is the best night of his life.  

“Guillermo?” Nandor’s voice is still so small and fragile.

“Yes, master?” 

“I’m covered in gunk. Will you draw me a bath?”

Oh.

--

Guillermo sits on the stool by the massive, claw foot tub, dipping a hand into the water to test the temperature. Hot but not scalding, just right for his sensitive master. He drops the glittery lavender bath bomb into the water and watches it fizz, releasing a pleasant, soothing aroma. 

“Ready?” Nandor asks from the doorway. Guillermo turns to see his master standing there in his long, red silk robe. His hair is down, falling around his face in natural waves and drawing Guillermo’s eyes downward to the triangle of exposed chest hair at the robe’s open collar. 

He takes a deep, steadying breath before answering, “Yes, master. I used the glitter bath bomb so you can look like Twilight after.”

Nandor grins and does a little happy two-step, “Yay! Good job, Guillermo!”

Guillermo’s heart swells at the praise and...just how adorable Nandor can be sometimes. This is how it happens. This is why he stays and cares for this man after years of neglect and disrespect. 

Nandor steps forward and waits expectantly. No matter how many times they do this, Guillermo will never be immune to seeing his master entirely nude. His hands shake slightly as he reaches to untie the loose knot holding the robe in place. Nandor shrugs the thin material off his shoulders and Guillermo’s heart hammers as it falls into his hands. He turns away with a brilliant blush, folding the robe and setting it on top of the toilet, completely missing the way Nandor’s eyes follow him with a glint of amusement. 

Nandor is still waiting next to the tub when Guillermo turns back around. His traitorous eyes roam up and down his master’s form. Nandor is impossibly tall and regal looking, even in the nude. His body is covered in a layer of soft, dark hair... his chest, his arms, his legs. If Guillermo looks close enough-- which, he has --there’s even a light layer of hair over the round globes of Nandor’s buttocks. Guillermo loves his master’s body. He loves that Nandor’s belly is soft and covered in a healthy layer of fat. He loves his thick, powerful thighs. He loves the broad expanse of his back and shoulders. Looking at Nandor, it’s easy to see him as the fierce, deadly warrior of his human life. Next to him Guillermo feels small and dull.

He walks over and takes Nandor’s hand, helping him balance as he steps into the water. Guillermo keeps his eyes carefully trained above the waist as Nandor sinks down into the steaming water. The vampire lets out a pleased sigh at the touch of the hot water on his cold skin.

“Shall I wash your hair first, master?” Guillermo asks, rolling up the sleeves of his white button down. His sweater is neatly folded with Nandor’s robe. 

“That would be nice,” Nandor hums, his eyes closed in relaxation. He grimaces as he adds, “It’s all...sticky.”

Guillermo drags the stool over and picks up a bottle of shampoo.

“Do you wanna dunk for me?” He suggests. He watches as Nandor takes an unnecessary breath before dipping beneath the surface of the water, coming up a second later with his hair plastered to his head and his lips sputtering as he releases the air from his lungs. 

Guillermo pours shampoo into his palm, lathering it up before sinking his fingers into Nandor’s hair and beginning the process of carefully massaging it through the long strands. Nandor groans and relaxes his neck, letting his familiar support his head in an act of casual trust that sends a tiny quiver through Guillermo’s soft heart. These quiet, intimate moments with his master are some of his most cherished memories. He purposely ignores how pathetic that makes him.

“Mmm,” Nandor groans, the sound doing uncomfortably fluttery things to Guillermo’s stomach. “That is very nice, Guillermo. You’re so gentle.”

Guillermo bites his lip and murmurs, “Thank you, master.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, Guillermo losing himself in the task of cleaning his master’s hair and Nandor falling into a trance under his human’s soft touch. The silence stretches until Nandor is disturbed by the sound of Guillermo trying to muffle a laugh. 

“What’s so funny, Guillermo?” he prods, turning slightly and dumping water over the side of the tub and into Guillermo’s lap. 

Guillermo’s used to being in the splash zone during Nandor’s baths and he barely reacts. Instead he gives in to his mirth and lets go of a clear little laugh that echoes oddly through the bathroom. 

“Here, I’ll show you,” Guillermo answers, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. 

He opens the camera app and flips it to selfie mode, leaning down until his face is next to Nandor’s and holding the phone at arm’s length to snap a picture. He shows it to Nandor and the vampire guffaws. On the screen Guillermo’s thousand watt smile is contrasted with Nandor’s look of blank confusion. His soapy hair is sculpted into a loose, goopy mohawk on top of his head.

“You have given me the punk hawk hair!” Nandor crows, reaching up and gingerly feeling his hair. He lets his hands drop back down beneath the surface of the water and he doesn’t look at Guillermo as he continues, “Thank you for that, Guillermo. I...needed to laugh tonight.”

Guillermo’s chest constricts but before he can answer, Nandor plunges down under the water, rinsing the shampoo from his hair before resurfacing. He turns to face Guillermo, his skin and hair glinting from the glitter bath bomb, “Do I look like Twilight , Guillermo?”

Guillermo nods with a fond smile and Nandor misquotes, “ Say it, Guillermo. Loudly .”

Guillermo laughs, “ Vampire! ”

Nandor giggles as his familiar moves on to conditioning his hair. 

“After all these years, a moving picture that finally is worthy of telling the tale of the vampires,” Nandor muses. 

Guillermo’s hands pause in Nandor’s hair and he squints his eyes in profound confusion before deciding to let that one go. It’s silent again for a few moments before Nandor suddenly addresses him in a more formal tone, “Guillermo...I want to say something to you. To put you on your ease…”

“...Yes, master?” Guillermo asks with a healthy dose of trepidation lacing his voice.

“I do not wish for you to be concerned after hearing the tale of my horse, John, and his demise. You know...because I ate him? Just because I ate John does not mean that I will eat you, Guillermo. I’ve grown ...I’ve changed ...I’m not the same maniac who used to go around lighting peasants on fire for fun.”

“I know that--” Guillermo starts to say and then a record scratch sounds in his brain, “--wait, are you comparing me to your horse?”

Nandor shrugs and casts a disbelieving glare over his shoulder, “Yes? You should take it as a compliment, Guillermo! I loved John--”

Nandor’s mouth snaps shut at once but the words are already out there, lingering in the humid air between them. Guillermo’s hands go still in Nandor’s hair for a split second as his mind stutters and reboots. He can see Nandor’s shoulders tightening up and can just imagine the anxious grimace he’s most likely wearing as he awaits Guillermo’s reaction. 

Guillermo starts working his fingers through his master’s hair once more, giving himself a moment to compose a response. He knows, by now, that Nandor will withdraw ten steps after moving forward one if Guillermo makes too big a deal out of this...almost confession.

He finishes lathering the conditioner and dips his hands into the water at his master’s back, rinsing them and coming away with glitter dusting his skin. He laughs, holding his hands up to Nandor and joking, “Look, master! I’m a vampire!”

Nandor’s shoulders relax and he grins in delight, “It is funny because, of course, you aren’t!”

Guillermo rolls his eyes, but the light fluttery feeling in his chest is there to stay. His master loves him. Maybe it’s not the same kind of love that Guillermo feels. Maybe Guillermo should really take a hard look at the fact that he’s gushing over being compared to a horse. But for now he’s going to hold onto this moment like a candle flame glowing in his chest. His master loves him .

Later, while Guillermo is helping him to towel dry, Nandor makes a seemingly off handed comment that causes Guillermo’s mouth to go dry.

“Guillermo,” Nandor’s gaze is caught on his familiar’s cheek and the streak of ectoplasm drying on his skin. “The bath is still warm. Why don’t you wash as well. It’s been a long night…”

“I…” the idea of bathing in the same water that has so recently engulfed his beloved master is...an overwhelming powerful thought. “Th-thank you, master. I will…”

Nandor nods, “Good...good. And, thank you, Guillermo. For helping me on my saddest night.”

Guillermo blushes, smiling up at Nandor with devotion shining from his brown eyes, “Of course, master. I’m always...I’ll always be here for you.”

A shadow passes over Nandor’s eyes at Guillermo’s words but he simply nods and turns to leave. 

Once the door closes shut behind him Guillermo takes a huge breath, turning to look at the murky water in the bath with a thrill that feels absolutely filthy. He’s going to bathe in Nandor’s...essence. Maybe he’ll smell like him afterwards? He turns the tap, adding some hot water to warm the bath back up and discarding his clothes in a little heap in the corner. Once he’s undressed, he turns off the water and steps cautiously over the rim of the tub, mindful of the pools of water on the tile floor from Nandor’s splashing. He’s just sinking down with a contented sigh when the door flies open and Nandor reappears.

“I have forgotten my...nail trimmers!” Nandor announces loudly, grabbing the first item he lays eyes on from the vanity.

“Oh, um…” Guillermo’s face is red hot and he slips down even further into the water, somehow incredibly shy about his nakedness despite having just spent an hour carefully cleaning his naked master. 

Nandor lingers in the doorway, letting cold air creep into the room and causing Guillermo to shiver. 

“Could you--um--shut the door, please? You’re letting in a draft…” Guillermo mutters. 

Nandor jumps and quickly slams the door shut with him still inside the bathroom. They stare at each other in dumb silence for a moment before Nandor finally clears his throat, his eyes darting all over the place but always returning to land on the little bit of his familiar’s exposed flesh he can see above the water line.

“Would you...I could...help you. With your hair. If you like…” the words are halting and awkward.

Guillermo is frozen, he dares not even take a breath lest he somehow shatter the moment. His mind supplies him with the line, Keep absolutely still...its vision’s based on movement…

“Sure,” he answers, his eyes sparkling with barely restrained glee. “That would be very nice of you, master.”

“Of course it would be,” Nandor scoffs, rolling his eyes and striding forward with purpose. “I’m being nice to you on purpose so you don’t worry about the whole me eating you thing, remember?”

Nandor plops down behind him and squirts about half the bottle of shampoo into his hand. 

“Oh, right. Thank you, master. I’m glad you’re not going to eat me,” Guillermo barely registers his own words, he’s too overwrought with the way this evening is going. Never in his wildest--

“You’re welcome,” Nandor answers and then places his hand atop Guillermo’s head, dunking him unceremoniously under the water.

Guillermo emerges a couple seconds later, gasping and sputtering, grabbing his glasses off his face and wiping at his eyes.

“Could you, uh--?” Guillermo hands his dripping spectacles to Nandor and the vampire takes them with his free hand and lovingly deposits them onto the side of the sink. 

Nandor begins to paw his hands over Guillermo’s head, roughly lathering the shampoo into his short curls and privately delighting in the feel of his familiar’s hair under his fingers. Guillermo holds still, nervous about how much the cloudy water is actually hiding from the vampire’s eyes. Nandor jerks his head roughly, scrubbing behind Guillermo’s ears and down the back of his neck as well.

“Uh--master? Could you try to be a little more gentle?”

Nandor’s hands freeze, hovering in the air over Guillermo’s head, “I have hurt you? I will be more careful…”

The fingers return to Guillermo’s hair, softly and slowly massaging his scalp. Guillermo sighs, “That’s much better, thank you.

Nandor hums in acknowledgment before remarking, “I think I was still thinking about my sweet John. I used to wash him like this. Of course...I could be much rougher with him. Because he was a horse…”

“Of course…” Guillermo murmurs, his eyes falling shut as he leans his head back into his master’s palms. “This is so nice…”

“Good, I’m glad,” Nandor replies. “You deserve it! So loyal. Making me feel better about eating my dead horse friend… You’re a good familiar, Guillermo…”

Nandor lapses into silence, but there’s a new quality to it. As if he’s leaving something unsaid. Guillermo doesn’t know how, but he senses Nandor’s hesitance as the vampire continues stroking his fingers carefully, lovingly through his hair.

“Master?” Guillermo ventures, heart in his throat. “Is there something else?”

Nandor sighs, “Only that...John died without ever knowing how I felt...I mean, he was a horse so probably he would not have understood, but still.”

“Oh…” Guillermo’s eyes drift up the ceiling and he compresses his lips into a thin line before asking, “What would you have said to him?”

“I’m going to dunk you again, Guillermo,” Nandor gives him a second’s warning this time before pressing down on his head. Once Guillermo comes back up for air, the vampire answers the question, “Well...I suppose I would have said...you know, something along the lines of how he was the very best horse in all of the land. And that I really appreciated everything he did for me even though sometimes it was hard for me to show it… And how… how sad I sometimes felt thinking about yo--John ever leaving me to go and let some other warrior ride around on him… And...you know, the stuff about loving him…”

Guillermo clears his throat, tears misting his eyes as he speaks, “W-wow, master. I’m sure--I’m sure John would have been very happy to hear you say those things. And...if he could talk he’d tell you that you never have to feel sad about him leaving you because he--he loves you, too.”

Nandor scrubs conditioner through Guillermo’s hair and is quiet for a while before sniffing loudly and scoffing, “Well...pretty stupid, if you think about it, Guillermo. If John could have talked he would have said something about how much he loved oats and maybe about wanting to make sex with the fillys.”

Guillermo sighs, and forces a laugh, “You’re right, master.”

When it comes time to drain the tub, Guillermo finds himself nervously reluctant. 

“You don’t have to help me dry off, master. I can handle it,” he blushes awfully and hugs his legs to his chest as Nandor stands to grab a fresh towel from the rack. 

“Please stand up, Guillermo. I am making a gesture, here,” Nandor answers, unperturbed. 

That is, until his familiar finally stands. Guillermo’s skin is hot and flushed from the bath. He’s studded liberally with sparkles from the bath bomb and Nandor’s eyes are drawn in at once. The familiar wraps his arms around himself, awkwardly trying to hide from his master’s seeking gaze. But Nandor steps forward and grabs Guillermo’s arms, pulling them out and away from his body so that he can look. Guillermo is perfectly soft, his body is all curves from the slope of his shoulders to his round belly and the wide, generous width of his hips. Nandor, feeling none of Guillermo’s shyness or reluctance, greedily drinks in the sight of the nest of curls between Guillermo’s legs and the soft, smooth length of his penis. His lips part to bare his fangs and his eyes light with hunger.

“Um...I’ll just…” Guillermo starts to scramble up and out of the tub and Nandor’s stupor is interrupted. 

He tightens his hold on his familiar’s arms to stabilize him.

“Watch out for the slippy bits, Guillermo!” Nandor cautions. “Colin Robinson says most human deaths in your age range are due to accidents. I don’t want you to slip and snap your neck on the floor. Very inconvenient for me.”

Guillermo is silent, he doesn’t really have the brain function to answer at this point. He’s never been so exposed in front of Nandor before and while part of him recognizes the obvious interest on his master’s face, another part of him is deeply self-conscious and pretty certain that Nandor is just thinking about biting him. 

Nandor begins toweling him off, and Guillermo tells himself that his master is certainly not letting his touch linger longer than necessary. This is just...a gesture. Once Guillermo is adequately dry, he takes the towel from Nandor and ties it around his waist with a sigh of relief. This is all...a lot.

“Thank you, master,” Guillermo finally says, preparing himself to be dismissed now that the moment is ending.

Nandor reaches over to the sink, plucking up Guillermo’s glasses and unfolding the arms, gently placing them on his familiar’s face with a little smile. 

“You’re welcome, Guillermo. And… what I said about John?” Nandor sounds uncertain, hesitant. “About appreciating him and...other things...”

“Yes?” Guillermo asks, slightly breathless. 

“I really meant it.”

Nandor steps forward and all at once he’s pulling Guillermo into his arms, stooping down and pressing his cool lips to his familiar’s warm, soft mouth. Guillermo squeaks in surprise, snapping his eyes shut and grabbing the flimsy silk fabric of Nandor’s robe as the vampire moves his lips over his, licking and suckling until Guillermo’s lips finally part, admitting his probing tongue. Nandor growls low in his chest, reaching one hand up to bury his fingers in Guillermo’s wet curls and letting the other rest over the small of his back. 

Kissing. Guillermo is kissing Nandor. Nandor is kissing Guillermo! In one night he’s gone from hugging for the very first time to being held in his master’s arms and thoroughly, passionately, deliciously kissed. When Nandor’s lips fall away from his, Guillermo takes the opportunity to gulp air into his lungs. His master leans his forehead against his, holding him in place for a moment as they breathe each other’s air. 

Finally, Nandor draws back, letting his hands fall away and asking, in a small voice, “Will you come tuck me into my coffin, Guillermo?”

Guillermo blinks, swallowing down the thousand and one questions currently crowding his brain. One step forward...please please please...no more steps back.

“Of course, master,” Guillermo answers. “I’ll always tuck you in at night. You know that.”

Nandor smiles, shyly locking eyes with Guillermo as he places his larger hand in his, pulling him along behind him on the way to his crypt.

Yeah... Guillermo muses with a dopey grin on his face as they pass by a gawping Laszlo in the hallway. Best night of my life.

[upstartcrow42]

Fic Writer Interview

Thanks for the tag, @chelsfic!

How many works do you have on AO3?

16

What’s your total AO3 word count?

201,056 👀

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

If we’re just counting AO3, then it’s just one. What We Do in the Shadows. I’ve only had this username for a year. Under different names in different places I have other fics for other fandoms. That would bring the grand total up to 5. I tend to have huge fic dry spells.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

66 - Especially For You - Nandor/Guillermo. Gen - Gift fic for @jujubeas. Guillermo is injured (very minor) and Nandor cares for him by buying him food from Panera Bread.

44 - Tell Me Things Will Be Okay - Nandor/Guillermo. Gen - Gift fic for @riskylatte and a collaboration with @andyandnormski. Nandor tries to calm Guillermo’s frayed nerves after they arrive home from the theater massacre.

35 - The Protocols of Revenge - Nandor/Nadja that leads to Nandor/Nadja/Laszlo. NSFW - My first fic for the fandom. Laszlo makes Nadja made, so Nandor proposes revenge. Nadja eventual relents but on the condition that Laszlo watch.

33 - Just Right - Nandor/Guillermo. Gen. Gift fic for @andyandnormski. A seasonal storm spooks Guillermo, so Nandor takes matters into his own hands as far as his relaxation goes. Naturally, things go awry.

32- He Demands Satisfaction. - Nandor/Guillermo Gen. Tumblr Prompt request for @andyandnormski. Nandor and Guillermo are taking their relationship to new levels post theater massacre, but the threat of sunlight puts a damper on things. 

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I get so few comments on my fics these days, so I reply to them all. I understand why people don’t comment on fics, especially NSFW ones, but I love hearing from readers, even if the comment is super short. I love getting replies back from authors when I comment, so I try to do the same for anyone who comments on my fics. I like engaging with the readers.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Rooftop Reflections. Nandor/Nadja. She’s been missing Laszlo since he want on the run and tries to escape by sitting on the roof. Nandor joins her and then leaves her be. She is really bummed out at the end after Nandor leaves and has to be alone with her thoughts about Laszlo.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not yet, but I’m not against.

I’ve been wanting do a weird one with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/What We Do in the Shadows. They’re both in NYC, and they both have to keep to the shadows, so it makes sense that they’d run into each other. Leonardo vs. Nandor as leaders, lol. Donatello and Colin Robinson getting into technical details about topics. Raphael and Nadja being just the rudest. Micaelangelo and Laszlo straight up chillin’. And Master Splinter and Guillermo shaking their head at their charges acting like such fools.

I’ve also thought about them running away to Canada and meeting the crew from Letterkenny.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

When I was writing HP, yes. It was mainly about how I was ending my chapters, and to be fair, the endings were not great for what I was trying to achieve (setting up some context - kind of omncient). I’m pretty sure I’ve deleted all of those from existence now.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Most definitely. I’ve written mainly mlw and wlw with reference to mlm. I’ve also written OT3 situations with mmw.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of. How does that even happen?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes.

I mentioned Tell Me Things will be okay earlier. Andy and I were very equal partners on that one and it was fun take their lead and then run with it and then see what they came up with next.

Nandor the Relentless: Conqueror of Courting. Nandor/Guillermo. A round robin fic where ideas were thrown out and shaped as a team. Nandor tries to court Guillermo in one-sided fake dating scenarios to protect him. I contributed to the last chapter of this gem of a fic series. I’m really proud that Nandor’s lament of the Windsor name was kept in.

Shoot Your Shot. Fendermo. Another round robin known by the writers as the Basketball AU. Nandor is a WNBA pro and Guillermo is her assistant. They’re even stupider in this story than in the show. It’s not complete, but one day we’ll finish it. I’m really proud of the text chain I wrote in the first chapter.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I know nearly all the stories I’ve talked about are Nandermo, but that’s not my all time favorite ship. I don’t know if I can really pick a favorite. It’s just Nandor/Anyone really.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Chance Encounter. Nandor/Silvia de la Cruz (Guillermo’s mom). NSFW. I’m only afraid I won’t finish it because I’m stuck on the next part for how the story should flow now that the smut is out of the way.

What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told that I’m good and smooth dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I use the same descriptive language too much. The same facial expressions and dialogue reactions. I also need to work on differentiating my imagery and adding more figurative language to my stories. I love seeing that in other people’s works, but suddenly forget to do it in my own.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love to see it, or even incorporating English language learning sentence structures into fics for characters whose primary language is not English. When I write in another language, I have had a friend who can speak that language check my work and phrasing to make it sound realistic. There was a lot of that in A Chance Encounter and @theoceanismyinkwell was immensely helpful with the Spanish dialogue and the Spanish Speaker in speaking in English lines too.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The first one I ever published on a fic site was Gundam Wing. I really hope that is not floating around still as I can’t even remember the site it was pubished on. It was peak cringe.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

It’s not complete, but Written in the Stars has consumed an epic amount of my time. The word count alone is two novels worth. It’s been fun to look into Nandor’s past, but also make him somewhat of a softie at that time too for a fic that could be otherwise very dark (there are defintely some mildly dark elements, but it’s generally just regular flavor NSFW). And it’s fun to take a semi-canon character who has one trait and flesh her out into a full person. At least I hope she comes across that way.

Tagging: @safetyhazardfics

@walkwithursus

@andyandnormski

@mapnerdbloodbag

@satincowboys

@nandoor

[sharkbath]

I can’t deal with the sheer amount of nandermo we got this episode they need to cancel the whole show

[sharkbath]

Duo nandermo pictures…I need to sit down