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thejosh1980 · 3 years

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I was lookin' back to see if she was lookin' back...

Yesterday Alex, Mum and I celebrated...

It's been one year since Alex and I arrived at Mum's place in Ocean Shores, NSW Australia.

If you've read my earlier blogs in 2020, you'll know that we had a lot of trouble getting home. Between the government and airlines, at one point it looked like we'd never get here; we were stranded. I was living in constant worry, stress and hopelessness - in fact, we all were: Alex's family in Germany and Mum's family down under.

Our July 2020 flights were cancelled or rescheduled many times, and eventually we decided to buy new, more expensive flights, on another airline through an agency, which gave us some assurances we'd be on the flight. Our new flights booked and confirmed for early September.

We flew Frankfurt to Adelaide, which was not our original plan. Adelaide had no COVID, and the chance of getting on a flight and getting into the country was higher than say, Brisbane, or Sydney. We could quarantine in Adelaide for 2 weeks and then fly on to Brisbane, which is closer to Ocean Shores.

That was like.... so last year...

This area where we now live is known as the Northern Rivers of New South Wales, and when we arrived at Mum's there was no COVID in the area. We are only about 35 minutes south of the Queensland border, about 8 hours north of the big smoke, Sydney.

Now, a year on, COVID has arrived here.

It's been biting at the heals of tourists and essential workers travelling north since Sydney went into lockdown a couple of months ago.

It's not our idea of a good time.

Right now it's school holidays, which is meant to be 2 weeks of families holidaying in caravan parks and hotels, an essential part of this tourist attraction mecca. Byron Bay, Brunswick Heads, and surrounds are usually very popular places; so popular that most locals complain about how busy it gets here during the holidays. You just can't get a parking sport anywhere!

The Northern Rivers was locked down for about 6 weeks through August into September because cases from Sydney were getting into regional NSW. These regional areas affected by COVID weren't near here, but they made a blanket rule for everywhere outside of Sydney, just to be on the safe side.

Honestly, I don't blame them for the rule, regional outback Australia can't cope with COVID, there's few hospitals, beds, or COVID experience in the scrub and farm land.

Anyhow, I digress...

After those 6 weeks or so in lockdown, they lifted the restrictions here in the northern rivers (and other areas of NSW).

And now, after 2 weeks, lockdown is back on...

There are a couple of cases in the area. Snap lockdowns are the government's preferred method of containing outbreaks. Lockdown areas wherever cases pop up for a week or two (or longer) to limit exposure.

It reminds me constantly that life can change quickly at any time. I have decided I will not waste time once this current lockdown has ended (who knows when that will be). I will visit friends, family, and musicians who live close by. I want to see as many folks as quickly as possible, before another lockdown kicks in.

Besides the boring, never ending tale of COVID, there have been a few things happening this past year...

Alex has been working consistently in the real estate industry since her temporary visa kicked in late last year.

Her first job was a few more miles away than any of us locals would consider driving, and the position wasn't as enjoyable or rewarding as she had first hoped. She really dived in the deep end, and while she didn't drown, she probably needed a few swimming lessons before the attempt. It was a life lesson, one she took on board, and when a new job came up closer to home, she nailed the interview (as she always does), and hasn't looked back.

The 2nd job is less than half the distance away, strictly 9 to 5 and in a company which she enjoys. There's a strong company structure, good work ethic, and entertaining colleagues. Her supervisors, colleagues, and managers are all very supportive; I think she'll be sitting tight on this one for a while.

Alex has also found her creative side again, scrap book journalling, instant camera photography, and some kind of couples diary/journal/photo book too. It's become an almost nightly affair of focusing, creating, and having something to show for it fairly quickly. She's very proud of her work, and it's something she does just for herself. I don't expect you'll get a chance to see a photo of what she's done, and she likes it like that.

I had a bit of work late in 2020 and early 2021, nothing special really, but wait until the premier!! It's interesting to think that some day soon I'll be able to go to the cinema and see my ugly mug on the big screen (even if it will most likely be out of focus). I'll be on Netflix too.

Having the opportunity to be an extra on film and TV was a real boost for my confidence after being off stage for so long. I felt creative, met some great people, made some friends, and had a few bucks in my pocket. Happy days.

By jumping into an industry I hadn't been in before right after arriving here, it reminded me that Australia has a lot to offer. I found myself comparing Germany and Australia, and Australia often feels like it comes up short. This was a chance to prove to myself that there are adventures awaiting here down under.

So, I decided to go back to school.

The last time I was in a class room was in 1998!! I am studying a Diploma of Counselling, and am currently half way through my studies. I've found it very challenging, but have passed every assessment so far, and gained some handy skills too. I have a good connection with my teachers, and I really enjoy the company of my classmates; some of which I can even call friends.

I chose counselling for a few reasons, but the first step was really just a process of elimination. Besides being a freelance professional musician for several years in Germany, I had worked in offices, shops, warehouses, kindergartens and various other jobs. While I could go back into IT or something similar, I wanted to use this opportunity to try something new.

I had my fair share of mental health issues in the past (and present). I thought maybe those experiences could help me connect with folks who need support as well. When looking at course options, the counselling course stood out. So now I'm making a mid life crisis gamble that I'll pass the course, and feel confident and knowledgeable enough to take on the role that many others have taken on for me over the years.

The course has helped me find a routine too, one that I didn't know I needed, until it happened. When you're jobless and unfocused, the mind wanders, the days pass. Now my mind is focused on study, and I feel better for it.

Up until the lockdown hit, we were in class 3 days a week and then I'd study from home 1 to 3 days a week. When lockdown hit, we had to go online. However, being on the computer so much has worn me out, and I really start to enjoy those rare days where I am not looking at a screen!

To be honest, it's been challenging every step of the way, and I even thought about quitting several times in the past few months. However, my confidence has steadily risen to each challenge and I felt better for it.

That's the kind of vicious circle I enjoy.

In July I had my first live show in 13 months! In fact, to date I've only had 3 since the pandemic started! Fingers crossed I can cross the border next month and add a 4th.

I was approached by Cherry Divine to play guitar for her. It's a relatively easy gig for me. The songs are fun rockabilly tunes, Cherry sings great, and she already has a band and gigs. I'm helping her write a few songs too, for her next album. I can't thank her enough for sparkin' the fire in me to keep music alive in my life; for a while there I thought it was all a thing of the past.

With the spark has come the possibility of “The Josh” solo band coming together. While the band isn't moving at any great speed (the recent 2nd lockdown kicked in right as I was about to arrange a rehearsal), I'm finally eager to get a band together. I miss playing live, and I miss having musicians in my life. I miss the spontaneity of a show, life on the road, and crowd reactions.

I've even started to write some new material, and get those ideas on “tape”, well, on the computer. Slow and steady, between studying, family, pets and surfing, music is coming back into my life, and it feels good.

Our family unit here is doing well. Alex and I have been under mum's roof and mum's care for a year now. There are some ups and downs, but mostly I'd say they're ups... The house is big enough to give all of us space, all of us get time outside of the house (except during lockdown, I was mostly stuck at home, but that's OK for me)...

Last night we couldn't go out for dinner, but we did have take away from the local Indian which was really good, and a special treat for us, we don't eat out often.

Alex and I plan to get away every 5-6 months for a visit to somewhere we haven't been. In March we were on the “Sunshine Coast” and checked out Australia Zoo, and in June we went south to the mid north coast to pick up BB Junior.

It's nice to get out and explore. A bit hard to do at the moment, with the restrictions, but we've agreed another trip away (before Christmas if possible) is in order. Those trips are part of the reason why I came home, to see some of Australia, and I'm lucky I get to make those experiences with Alex.

It's also nice to get away from it all. I know we live in a beautiful spot near the ocean, but here, at home, there's the computers, the life and routine, and getting away keeps us fresh and focused on each other. It's definitely something I look forward to!

Speaking of BB Junior, he's almost 7 months old now, and a real character. While he's not the easiest cat to train, I've been getting a few tricks out of him, and he enjoys his time outside, with his harness and long lead. He visits his cousin each week for play time, Charlie, who is another ragdoll of a family friend who loves to play chase all day long with Junior. Alex adores Junior, and Junior adores Alex; they can't wait to cuddle when she comes home from work. He's very vocal too, so even when everyone is at work, I have someone to talk to!

Losing our little boy Mijo was a real difficult experience. I know I've written about him before, but he deserves a mention here, as he was a big part of our first year here. He was full of character and strength, he and I bonded very quickly and not a day goes by I don't think of him. He also brought Alex and I closer together. When she chose him for me, and when he passed, and all points in between, he brought us closer.

I've been focused on sport a fair bit since getting back and settling in. I bought a RowErg, also known as a rowing machine, and I row about twice a week, in addition to riding my bicycle about twice a week. I try to surf every chance I get, which unfortunately ends up being only a few times a month. It's my goal to do something sporty to get my heart rate up every day, and of late, usually I get there too. I don't really do it for any other reason than I love to snack and I can't snack if I don't do sport!

A benefit of my sport/snack workout routine is it helps me stay calm and focused and connected with those I ride and surf with.

I haven't asked Mum how she's feeling about having her middle aged son and his wife living with her recently. Maybe I should, but do I really wanna know the answer? Well, I think she's OK with it. After all, we drive her wherever she wishes! I suspect it goes a little deeper than that, and in all honesty, we enjoy each other's company.

Since Alex and I have been here, I'd like to think Mum has been living a little bit fuller life. I don't think her eyesight has deteriorated much in the past year, but we've been able to provide her with support, eyes to read the small print, driving and help with google, or something around the house. When Mum was diagnosed with celiac disease earlier this year, Alex took her shopping to check over the ingredients of Mum's favourite food, and when needed, found alternatives. It definitely made the transition to gluten free a little easier on Mum and it was a load off my mind that we were around to help her through that phase.

Winter 2021 was over before it even started. I forgot how warm this part of the world is, and I don't know why I own so many jackets! Returning from Europe, where I was wearing a jacket daily for about 9 months of the year, here it feels like, if it's really needed, and I mean if you're desperate, you might need one for 9 weeks of the year. I think the heater was on a handful of times, and the sun was shining just about every day.

I tell ya, it's some kind of paradise here.

It's been a bit difficult keeping up with our European friends and family. I sometimes find it hard to find the time to be proactive to contact the 20, 30 or more friends I'd like to keep in touch with regularly. I know our lives keep on keepin' on, but time passes by so quickly too, and next thing you know it's been 4 months since I last contacted you!

Sorry about that!

Don't take it personally, and I'll get back to you, eventually!

My overall mental health has improved over the year, I'd say it's become quite stable since I started the course. I mean, can't you tell? I write less and less in this blog, because I have less and less to process. I'm not sure if it's the fact there's a lot of self reflection that is inherently a part of doing that kind of mental health course, or if it's the routine of being a student or the new friends I've made and classmates I study with.

It could be that it's taken a year to come to terms with being back here, cause when I first arrived I felt uncomfortable, depressed and worn out... There were a lot of questions; is this a mid life crisis? What am I doing here? Will I ever feel good again? Is my music career over? What am I going to do now? Is Alex OK? Is Mum OK?

My journalling, blogging, and support from friends and family has helped a lot too this past year. Processing my thoughts in words, by clarifying and reflecting, has helped a lot. I've been trying to care for myself a bit more now and then too, I think people call it self care, sometimes I call it sport! Alex has helped me to recognise my achievements, however big or small, and focus less on what I haven't done.

I'm not perfect, but definitely improving.

I was hoping that Alex and I would be in a position to start looking at buying our own house around this time, a year in, but unfortunately, with one of us being a student and the ever rising cost of housing, we have to sit tight on that idea for a while longer. Sorry Mum, you're stuck with us.

There's been many smaller things happen during our first year here. Lots of moments of gratitude, love and support. There's some stuff we've forgotten, or that has been overtaken by something bigger. All in all, I'd say it's been a real rollercoaster home coming!

We're still here, a year on, still going strong, making motions, taking chances, being in love, talking shit, laughing, smiling, misbehaving and focusing... What more could we ask for?

Thank you for reading, for your support and love. I love you too.

Josh

#covid pandemic #1 year celebration #reflection #family life #relationships

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caffeine-catastrophe · 5 years

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Go the Distance! CH. 2!

click here for chapter one!

A/N: Thank you so much for such a positive response to the first chapter! It made my day to see all the reviews. Please keep them up :) There were a few questions about what a grant is, and some confusion over the general plot of this story, so I will do my best to give y'all some context. The rest will be revealed later on in the story, I promise.

A grant is defined as "a sum of money given by a government or other organization for a particular purpose. ie: a research grant". The one mentioned in this story is being offered for the sole purpose of giving young people a chance to pursue their dreams and aspirations, without having to kill themselves working three jobs like the rest of us do in real life.

Some other things: the gang is about the same age, a year or two out of high school (in my mind, L is 19 - coincidentally the legal drinking age where I live - N is 20, and G and E are 21 ish). None of them are in college at the moment, because student loans mean interest and none of them really want to (or are able to) deal with the future repercussions of that. Their individual career paths and aspirations will be discussed further into the story.

I hope you like the second chapter! The next one is already done, so I'm going to finish the one after that before I publish it!

Go the Distance

Three days, four million dollars, and a cross-country road trip that will change their lives for good. OR: The Dreyar Grant for Brighter Futures is a prestigious scholarship granted to only the most deserving of candidates, but even miracles don't come without a price.

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... And a thousand years would be worth the wait It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through...

"Thank you all for coming," Ms. Strauss begins cheerfully, seating herself at one end of the large conference table situated in the centre of the room. She gestures for the four trailing awkwardly behind her to take a seat on either side of her. Lucy finds it increasingly hard to concentrate as Ms. Strauss begins to brief them on the legalities of the grant. She hands her the envelope containing her high school transcript and photocopied version of her passport, and watches in a zombified stupor as the others do the same. "I'll send these to HQ in Crocus to double check your eligibility, but for now I'm going to assume you're all wonderful people and take your word for it," Mirajane continues in a humoured tone that does nothing to relieve the tension in the air.

"Now tell me, what do you four know about Mr. Dreyar?" Ms. Strauss asks. "I assume you all did your research," she continues, raising an amused eyebrow. Lucy can't help but think this is some kind of test. She exchanges a quick glance with the rest of her companions, each shifting uneasily in their seats. Erza seems to have disappeared into her hair again; even Natsu is looking a little bit less confident about 'having this'. Lucy waits for one of the other three to speak up, before looking nervously back at Ms. Strauss, who – Lucy notices with a jolt – is looking directly at her.

"Ms. Heartfilia? You seem like you might have something to say," Ms. Strauss says with an encouraging smile. Lucy bites her lip. She always was terrible at public speaking. You're a high school graduate with a theatre diploma and English honours, Lucy. Get it together.

"Mr. Dreyar is a so-called legendary business mogul worth approximately 64 billion dollars," Lucy begins slowly, glancing quickly at Ms. Strauss for confirmation. The woman gives her a small smile and Lucy continues, "He was an Ivy League student that originally wanted to be in law, but after a few years of schooling he had a change of heart. He dropped out to pursue a degree in business, and by the time he graduated he had sold two successful companies and had a net worth of 1.2 million dollars."

"Very good, Lucy," Ms. Strauss says, smiling. "Anyone else?" She looks over at Gray, who clears his throat reluctantly. "He never married but has taken in many apprentices over the years and treats them like they are his blood. He acts like a sponsor to ensure they become successful, and then takes a small percentage of their annual income once a year until he has been paid back."

"Not only that, but now that all of his so-called children have grown up and are able to stand on their own, rumour has it that he's looking for a new group of young people to mentor," Natsu jumps in enthusiastically, nudging Erza beside him, who rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

"Rumour has it, that's us," she finishes quietly in a voice that's tinged with equal parts exasperation and excitement.

"Rumour has it, indeed," Ms. Strauss responds vaguely, eyes roving over the group in what almost seems like approval. "Now, on to business," she says abruptly, disturbing the air of quiet anticipation that has settled over the four young adults. "Mr. Dreyar, while a brilliant man, can be quite… eccentric. Rather than handing the grant over to you at this moment, he has insisted that the four of you join him in Crocus in three days' time so that he can assess your eligibility in person. This means the four of you will have to acquire your own methods of transportation and lodging, should you choose not to travel there via aeroplane. Hotel rooms will be provided for you once you arrive, of course. He has written you into his schedule this Thursday at noon. Any questions?"

When Ms. Strauss finishes speaking, the only sounds in the room are the quiet ticking of an analog clock by the door and the muffled din of traffic outside.

---

The group is silent as they file out of the room en route to the elevators. They stand awkwardly as they wait for the car, each lost in thought. Erza is tugging on her hair again while Gray and Natsu furrow their brows in the same tense expression, which Lucy might've found amusing if she didn't also find herself so unbelievably screwed. No one says a word until the elevator doors open with a soft ding and close behind them with another muffled thump.

"So, we're pretty much screwed," Natsu echoes Lucy's thoughts, ever the spokesperson. "Flying expensive, and I don't know about you guys, but the reason I applied for this scholarship is that I couldn't afford to splurge on a plane ticket if I wanted to."

"Yup," Gray lets out stiffly, exchanging a loaded glance with Erza that Lucy can't quite decipher.

"However," Natsu continues, "I've driven down to Crocus a few times for soccer games in the past, and I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind us borrowing his van since there's a chance we'd be coming back with a total of four million freaking dollars." He sends a silly look in Lucy's direction, reflected in the polished gold of the elevator still counting down from 14, and she lets out a tense laugh. She takes a deep breath, feeling the tension of the group lift for a brief moment. "If you guys are okay with chipping in for gas money and splitting the cost of a few nights in a hotel, we could spend the next few days driving down to Crocus in time for the meeting," Natsu suggests, raising his eyebrows at the other three expectantly. There's a pause, and then Gray breathes a sigh of relief.

"I mean, that's actually a pretty good idea. I've got my license too, so I could take turns driving if you'd like," Gray offers.

"Same here," Lucy chimes in, and Erza nods in agreement.

"Does that mean you're in?" Natsu asks eagerly, turning to Lucy, who turns to Erza. The two exchange a look, raising hesitant eyebrows as if to reassure each other that going on a spontaneous road trip with two strange guys won't end with getting themselves killed. Girls need to stick together, after all. Then again, Lucy's been through worse and while Erza may look demure, she also seems like the type of person to kill someone in their sleep. Lucy sets her jaw determinedly and gives Erza a little wink. The other girl smiles nervously in response. The world spins a little as the elevator settles, and when the doors finally open with another soft ding, Lucy turns back to Natsu with a grin.

"We're in."

---

"This one's a little more out of the way, but it's a lot cheaper," Gray suggests an hour later. The group of four have made their way over to a café down the block in order to iron out their plans for the weekend. Lucky for them, Natsu had his laptop in his dad's car that's parked across the street, and they've all crowded around the small table in the corner of the shop, each trying to get a better look at the screen.

"Is it going to be safe, though?" Lucy asks concernedly from behind him. "Family-owned inns usually have lower budget security systems, if you know what I mean."

"Nah, it looks fine," Natsu reassures her, reaching over Erza's plate of strawberry shortcake to pull the laptop closer to him. "It's got a ton of reviews, and all of them say it's clean and relatively safe, see?" he says, pulling it up on the screen for her to check.

"We'll go with that one in Acalypha, then," Erza says resolutely, jotting down the phone number and address in the little notebook Lucy had stashed in her purse at the meeting.

"I can call them later tonight when I call the place in Hargeon to book the rooms," Gray suggests, taking a picture of the page with his phone.

"We did it!" Lucy cheers, flipping back to add it to the PowerPoint Natsu and Gray insisted they create in honour of their 'Road Trip'. Boys. "Looks like we've got it all sorted out then! Where and when do you guys want to meet tomorrow?" she asks, leaning back and nudging the laptop closer to Natsu, who's straining to get a better look over Gray's head.

"I can pick everyone up in the morning," Natsu offers, grinning at her in thanks, and her heart stutters at the easy way he leans across her lap to save the document and shut down his laptop.

"Around 10, then?" Erza suggests, chewing savagely as she stuffs the rest of cake in her mouth. Lucy is kind of surprised at how passionate Erza is about dessert. Never mind how gentle she usually is, she nearly tore off Gray's arm when he came close to knocking it off the table while scuffling with Natsu over the PowerPoint font.

The group confirms the time, each pulling out their phones to add each other on social media. The boys create a group chat with a reminder for their plan tomorrow, aptly naming it 'The Four Million Dollar Road Trip'. Erza and Gray live in the same direction, so they quickly gather their things and head to the train together, casting apprehensive glances at the overcast sky. Apparently, Gray is a last-minute packer and Erza admits to being that chick that brings four suitcases in the name of being 'prepared'. They need all the time they can get.

Natsu and Lucy, on the other hand, take their time packing up. Lucy is organized to a fault and Natsu doesn't seem to be too concerned about getting home right away, so they fill the café with their chatter until they forget that the sunshine surrounding them isn't coming in through the window. When it starts to get dark outside, the conversation turns to their homes and families. They are surprised to discover that they live in the same neighbourhood; his building is just down the block from hers. She learns his sister Wendy takes dance classes and sings off-key in the shower, and in turn she tells him all about her golden retriever, Plue, who used to follow her to school every day in the third grade.

By the time they are ready to leave, the rain has started and the lightning makes the sky look like it may have cracked open in the downpour. And if Natsu is pleased to hear that Lucy has forgotten her umbrella and may need to join him for the car ride home, well, he doesn't say a thing.

---

I based Makarov's backstory on Mark Zuckerberg lmao. He's a controversial person, for sure, but useful when it comes to needing rich entrepreneur character backgrounds.

Comments? Questions? Reactions? Drop me a review!

See y'all soon!

#fairy tail #nalu #gray fullbuster #erza scarlet #team natsu #fanfiction #IMaketheMonsters #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia

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viralmasalla-blog · 6 years

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10 Questions to Ask a Guy You Just Met to Read Him like a Book

Did you just meet, and now you’re texting? Or maybe you’re sitting at a bar together or were just introduced at a party. No matter what the situation is, having some great go to questions to ask a guy you just met is always a good idea.

What are the best questions to ask a guy you just met?

Upon first encounter, you want to keep your cool. You want to seem interesting and fun, but also show them that you find them intriguing and want to know more. First impressions leave a lasting memory, so try to make it a good one.These questions will help you navigate this new guy and see what happen. But the main focus of this interaction is to have a good time. Don’t take yourself too seriously, shake off any nerves, and ask away. #1 What do you do? This may be a bit boring or repetitive, but it is sort of necessary. Someone’s job may just be a job, but it can also say a lot about him. Is he in finance, does he work with his hands? Is he a musician or a teacher? Or a doctor? Does he travel the world every other day?Not only can this lead to a longer conversation, but hearing someone talk about their job shows their passion, their boredom, and more. Plus, it lets you know if your lives line up in a practical sense.#2 Where did you grow up? Yes, this is another go to, but once again there is a reason for it. Did you both grow up in the town you’re meeting in? Well, that would be quite the coincidence.Or maybe he grew up in London or across the country. This offers such an insight into someone new.#3 Are you close with your parents/family? This questions can get a little deep in some cases. But that isn’t such a bad thing. His relationship with his family and parents gives you a taste of his daily life.Does he go home for Sunday dinners? Does he live at home? Or does he only see his family during the holidays?#4 What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? This question provides such a collection of random answers. One guy’s answer might be skydiving. Someone else might say a trip to Europe out of the blue or I stole a car. Others could be called out sick to work so I could get my Star Wars poster signed.This can show how compatible or opposite you are and even what you have in common.#5 If you weren’t here right now where would you be? Personally I love this question. It lets you know if this person is having a good time or if they think they would be having more fun somewhere else.If someone asked me this I would always say, “I’d rather be in bed watching Netflix.” So this answer can give you an idea of whether or not you would click on a more regular basis.#6 Do you have any pets? Cats and dogs are something anyone with a soul and a lack of pet dander allergies is passionate about. Chatting about your unconditional love for your dog that won’t stop peeing on your favorite shoes gives a real connection and maybe some funny stories. #7 What is a childhood TV show you would still watch now? Not only is nostalgia a trend, but reminiscing on your childhood loves can bring you closer. You may have grown up a country apart, but both woke up before everyone to watch your favorite cartoon when you were kids.#8 What is your biggest pet peeve? As much as avoiding negativity is important with someone new, bonding over your mutual annoyances can be quite nice. Maybe you both hate when people don’t walk their grocery carts to the collector or when someone tips badly.Although it sounds like a complaining game, what someone gets frustrated or annoyed by can show what they care about, even something as small as rushing when someone is waiting for you to cross the road.#9 Do you believe in ghost/aliens? This is such a fun conversation to have with a new person. You can share any suspected ghostly encounters you’ve had or that time in college when you swore you saw a UFO. Scary stories aren’t just for kids to tell at sleepovers. #10 What is something I would be surprised to learn about you? When you just met a guy, you probably are anticipating finding out his job, maybe his favorite Netflix show, what music he likes, but learning something out of the ordinary is where you go from just meeting to really getting to know each other.So, maybe he is going to tell you he plays guitar or surfs. Or maybe that he can’t even boil water. No matter what it is, it is bound to be interesting. So push the limits. Ask questions that are known first meeting inquiries, but then push beyond the norm. Go deeper, go funnier, or just see where the conversation takes you.Typical questions to ask a guy you just met can be boring, so spice it up with something juicy or intriguing by using these tips. No one will remember you asking about their five-year plan. Read the full article

#girl #Guy #relationships

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russellthornton · 6 years

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10 Questions to Ask a Guy You Just Met to Read Him like a Book

When you are first meeting a new guy you don’t want to ask the wrong questions, so here are the right questions to ask a guy you just met.

How did you meet?

If you met in passing, you may have different questions than if you met at an event and had time to chat before parting ways. So be aware of the atmosphere and how you can carry out a conversation in that format.

If you have time to ask questions that can carry a conversation, that’s great. But if you are exchanging numbers and heading off, ask shorter questions that you need answers to. And if you’re texting, it is pretty much a free for all. [Read: Introduce yourself to a guy and leave him wanting more]

What are the worst questions to ask a guy you just met?

Before we get into what you should ask him, there are some questions you should avoid right off the bat. These can either give him the wrong impression, seem odd, or can just be a red flag all together. So either fully avoid or wait to ask these questions.

First avoid anything regarding exes. Along with that, don’t ask about relationship advice. You should ask about relationship status, but for a first meeting maybe keep it there. If you go too far with this topic, it can leave a bad taste in their mouth.

Unless you want a majorly controversial discussion on your hands, politics and religion should be off limits. But if you know that you’re on the same page with these things, go for it. Another no go question is asking about how much money they make. This is just distasteful and disrespectful as well. [Read: 10 things girls should never say to guys… ever!]

What are the best questions to ask a guy you just met?

These questions will help you navigate this new guy and see what happen. But the main focus of this interaction is to have a good time. Don’t take yourself too seriously, shake off any nerves, and ask away. [Read: 20 signs of attraction in a first conversation]

#1 What do you do? This may be a bit boring or repetitive, but it is sort of necessary. Someone’s job may just be a job, but it can also say a lot about him. Is he in finance, does he work with his hands? Is he a musician or a teacher? Or a doctor? Does he travel the world every other day?

Not only can this lead to a longer conversation, but hearing someone talk about their job shows their passion, their boredom, and more. Plus, it lets you know if your lives line up in a practical sense. [Read: The questions to ask if you want to find out who a guy really is]

#2 Where did you grow up? Yes, this is another go to, but once again there is a reason for it. Did you both grow up in the town you’re meeting in? Well, that would be quite the coincidence.

Or maybe he grew up in London or across the country. This offers such an insight into someone new. [Read: Your step-by-step guide to texting your crush the right way]

#3 Are you close with your parents/family? This questions can get a little deep in some cases. But that isn’t such a bad thing. His relationship with his family and parents gives you a taste of his daily life.

Does he go home for Sunday dinners? Does he live at home? Or does he only see his family during the holidays?

#4 What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? This question provides such a collection of random answers. One guy’s answer might be skydiving. Someone else might say a trip to Europe out of the blue or I stole a car. Others could be called out sick to work so I could get my Star Wars poster signed.

This can show how compatible or opposite you are and even what you have in common.

#5 If you weren’t here right now where would you be? Personally I love this question. It lets you know if this person is having a good time or if they think they would be having more fun somewhere else.

If someone asked me this I would always say, “I’d rather be in bed watching Netflix.” So this answer can give you an idea of whether or not you would click on a more regular basis.

#6 Do you have any pets? Cats and dogs are something anyone with a soul and a lack of pet dander allergies is passionate about. Chatting about your unconditional love for your dog that won’t stop peeing on your favorite shoes gives a real connection and maybe some funny stories. [Read: Why millennials are choosing puppies over babies]

#7 What is a childhood TV show you would still watch now? Not only is nostalgia a trend, but reminiscing on your childhood loves can bring you closer. You may have grown up a country apart, but both woke up before everyone to watch your favorite cartoon when you were kids.

#8 What is your biggest pet peeve? As much as avoiding negativity is important with someone new, bonding over your mutual annoyances can be quite nice. Maybe you both hate when people don’t walk their grocery carts to the collector or when someone tips badly.

Although it sounds like a complaining game, what someone gets frustrated or annoyed by can show what they care about, even something as small as rushing when someone is waiting for you to cross the road.

#9 Do you believe in ghost/aliens? This is such a fun conversation to have with a new person. You can share any suspected ghostly encounters you’ve had or that time in college when you swore you saw a UFO. Scary stories aren’t just for kids to tell at sleepovers. [Read: The questions to ask when you want to hook a guy]

#10 What is something I would be surprised to learn about you? When you just met a guy, you probably are anticipating finding out his job, maybe his favorite Netflix show, what music he likes, but learning something out of the ordinary is where you go from just meeting to really getting to know each other.

So, maybe he is going to tell you he plays guitar or surfs. Or maybe that he can’t even boil water. No matter what it is, it is bound to be interesting. So push the limits. Ask questions that are known first meeting inquiries, but then push beyond the norm. Go deeper, go funnier, or just see where the conversation takes you.

[Read: The most awesome ways you should know to impress a guy]

Typical questions to ask a guy you just met can be boring, so spice it up with something juicy or intriguing by using these tips. No one will remember you asking about their five-year plan.

The post 10 Questions to Ask a Guy You Just Met to Read Him like a Book is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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