#i was bored throughout the whole book and waiting for snow to do real bad stuff

[arazialotis]

Long Distance

Pairing: Dean × Reader

Word Count: Around 1700

Summary: Dean and Y/N have been separated during the holidays due to a string of hunts but Dean has a thought to make the distance seem not so far apart.

Warnings: Language, General SPN spooky stuff

This is purely just for writing and wasting my time as hobby. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors. I appreciate any feedback or suggestions!

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Nights came early this time of year, each day growing darker a little earlier. It was hard to fight off the fatigue that crept in every passing moment. Even harder so with Dean out of town on another string of hunts. You sat in the picture window curled up in a fuzzy blanket with a warm cup of tea and a new book. Though you had a corner lamp turned on, the Christmas lights outside bounced off the white snow, illuminating the world and keeping the dark at bay. 

Your phone had occasionally been buzzing as Dean updated you on his progress in a new town. You did what you could to not worry, to have faith, but each day he was gone you needed distractions to keep your mind off it. And of course, communication. The longer he went without an update, the more your stomach turned. 

Though you were entranced with the novel, methodically flipping pages and on the edge of your seat, as soon as the phone sounded, you threw the book down only focusing on him. 

You answered with a pant of excitement. “Hey babe.” 

Dean’s smile practically shined through the receiver. “Evenin’ Y/N. Man it's good to hear your voice.” 

“Yours too.” You echoed setting your tea down on the ledge as you started pacing the floor. “How’s the first day been?”

“Ah, you know, just getting settled and the feel for things. Wish I had your mind here to sort things out but this has been a long stretch, it’s starting to drag. It was good for you to stay home.” He paused waiting for a reply. “This’ll be the last one, promise.” 

“Don’t say that.” You chided knowing fully well he easily broke these promises. “You are doing good work. If you need to keep going, that’s alright. Just promise me you’ll come home eventually.” “You know there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“And besides.” You sighed. “I’m still here virtually, put me together the case details tonight and I’ll scour over them.”

Dean’s blush heated up the air around you as he shamefully admitted. “I already sent them to Sam.” 

“Ugh! What? God Da…” Dean’s chuckle cut you off. You rubbed your brow reminding yourself it wasn’t a competition. “I want to help too.” You whined. 

“Okay, okay.” His voice faded. “I’m sending them now.” 

You looked at your phone waiting for the email to come through. A few moments passed and it eventually did. He had sent over a few news articles, pdfs, and a word doc of his own notes. 

“Hmmm… it’s definitely a werewolf.” You teased. “Shut up.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not stupid enough to get stumped by an oversized rabid poodle.” 

“I’ll shoot you some real ideas by tomorrow at the latest.”

 “Don’t feel rushed, I got some pretty good leads to follow up on tomorrow.” He assured. “Alright, enough work talk. What about you? How was Thanksgiving?” 

“I mean, it wasn’t the same without you and everyone else. But uh, I still tried to make the most of it. Brussels, beans, wild rice, potatoes…” You listed. “Mashed?” Dean interrupted. 

“Pfft. Of course. Cranberries. Oh, I did a cornish hen cause like, what the fuck am I going to do with a whole turkey? I already have enough leftovers to last me ‘til Christmas. Tell me you had something more than deli meat turkey.”

“Don’t worry about me babe.” He lightly chuckled. “Denny’s got me covered.” 

“Dean.” You scolded.

“Pie? Please tell me you had pie.” He begged. 

“No way I’m having pie without you.”  

“But.. But… Thanksgiving.” Dean pouted. 

You giggled at his adorable antics. “There’s one waiting in the freezer for when you get back.” “Yes! Cherry?” He pleaded. 

“Of course…” You giggled together until a knock sounded at the door. “Hey, hold on a sec.” 

“What is it?” Dean’s voice grew concerned. He heard the door open, a soft thank you, and the door closing before a bit of rustling. “Oh, nothing.” You fiddled with the box and the phone. “Just looks like a package for you.” Dean licked his lips with anticipation. “Why don’t you go ahead and open it for me?” You wrinkled your nose, unsure if you wanted to. “Really?” 

“I’m sure.” 

You grabbed a kitchen knife to hack away at the tape. Dean sat down on the motel bed anxiously waiting for you to find what was inside. 

“It’s um… it’s.” You pulled it out further inspecting it. “It’s a lamp?” 

Dean grinned ear to ear waiting for you to figure it out. “A long distance lamp? What?” “I found it online. You have one and I have one.” He explained. “I felt bad the last hunt with the bad reception. My lamp will light up when you touch it and vice versa.” 

“What?” You squealed. 

“Yeah. It’s an early Christmas gift.” Your heart melted.  “Go plug it in.” He ordered before you could respond. 

“Dean…” His thoughtfulness nearly brought you to tears. “Go!” He repeated before you got too sappy. 

After a few minutes of him guiding you through the set up, you were ready to test it out. “Okay, ready?” He asked, his hand hovering over the lamp on his end. 

“Yes.” You sat on the floor staring at the dark lamp. “Nothings happening.” You sighed. “Oh, wait!” It was dim at first but slowly turned into a green glow reminding you of his eyes. “Oh my gosh.”

“Your turn.” You pressed the top of yours sending him a warm purple glow. You could hear his smile over the phone. 

“See, now we can talk to each other even without the phones.” 

“Dean. This is… it’s… thank you.” Was all you could muster to say. “I’ll keep it by my bed so I can say good night and good morning.” “Me too sweetheart.” Dean agreed. “And in case anything happens to my phone or I get stuck in another dead area, you’ll know not to worry.”

The two of you spent another good hour talking; tentatively setting up holiday plans, explaining the unexpected twist in your book, and thrilling him with all the juicy details of exactly what you were going to do to him when he finally did make it home. You read a few more pages before finally calling it a night. Tucked into a bundle of blankets, you reached to your nightstand sending him a final thought of the night. A few moments later came the dim green glow. Though it was just a light, it made you feel as though he was there, his arms wrapped around you making your heart warm. 

When Dean awoke the next morning, the lamp next to him was already glowing purple. He smiled, typical that you would be the first to rise. After a yawn and deep stretch, he sent the thought back to you before going to freshen up and shower. The hot water and steam soothed his sore muscles and the tension he held in his shoulders if only for a brief minute. Towel wrapped around his waist and clean shaven, he came back out to get dressed in a suit for the day only to find the light had not faded. With another chuckle he assumed you must have been on the same schedule and sent another touch back before heading out for the day. 

From the morning, he was in a sprint; talking with the local police department, interviewing witnesses, consoling family members. Dutifully, he kept you updated on his progress hoping to hear back from you soon on any thoughts yet you were quiet. He wondered if he had mixed up your work schedule again. Having gone nonstop throughout the day, he opted for an early dinner back at the hotel room. 

Entering back to the room with his Chinese takeout, he immediately noticed the lamp was still on. He set down his food on the table and pulled out his phone. 

‘The lamp doesn’t need to fully replace the phones.’ He texted you, adding a little laughing emoji hoping you wouldn’t be offended by him calling out your silence today. 

He popped open his laptop and dug into the Mongolian beef hoping to review any ideas you had come up with. But you hadn’t emailed him like you said. It was still early enough in the day, and especially if you had worked, maybe hadn’t had time to get around to it. He pulled up Sam’s email instead, reviewing notes and potential leads. 

An hour had passed and the light still glowed purple. Thinking it must be broken, Dean meandered over to the plug resetting it. The only other explanation would be your hand on top of it consistently which didn’t make any sense. The lamp powered back up and momentarily was dark before the purple hue came through again. 

“This is weird.” Dean muttered to himself. 

He walked back over to the table and grabbed his phone and dialed your number. After two rings, it answered. 

Dean chuckled, thankful to finally have gotten you. “Either these things are malfunctioning or you must really miss me.” He heard a deep breath from the other side of the line. 

“Y/N?” His voice dropped. “Sweetheart, are you there?” A sinister voice crackled on the other end. “It’s been a long time Dean.” 

Dean’s heart dropped to his stomach. Panic and anger rose to his chest. It was a voice he could never forget. “Alastair.” 

“Now I was hoping to find you home when I stopped by but this pretty little lady said you were out on business.” Alastair's voice delightfully slithered. 

His jaw clenched. “If you’ve touched a single hair on her head, I swear to God…” Dean spat. 

Amusement rose into laughter. “What makes you assume I could harm such a delicate creature. Her neck as easy to snap as a sparrow's."

“You better pray that's not what I find when I get back.” Dean threatened already furiously packing his bag. 

“Its not her I want, it’s you.” Alastair clarified. “But I guess that all depends on how long you take getting back home Dean. I might become bored.” 

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TAGS:

Forevers: @mogaruke @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @jotink78@blushingdean @sup3r-pott3r-lock3d @dancingalone21@carryonmyswansong @atc74 @superapplepie @cassieraider@adaliamalfoy @iwriteaboutdean @spnbaby-67@monkeymcpoopoo @adoptdontshoppets @maddiepants@onceuponathreetwoone @thisismysecrethappyplace

Dean x Reader: @akshi8278 @boxywrites @its-not-a-tulpa @tacklesackles @aubreystilinski @iamabeautifulperson18@jerkbitchidjitassbutt @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @ria132love​

[stahlop]

Making a Memory (5/?)

Well, here we are. Chapter 5. This chapter was a beast to write. Hopefully, you'll be satisfied with the answers this chapter provides.

Thanks again to my betas, @profdanglaisstuff and @thisonesatellite. I thought they were going to hack this chapter with a machete. Turns out, they wanted me to add a bit more. So that was amazing to hear.

Check out the banner artwork by @gingerchangeling​. There is also artwork by @mariakov81 at the end of this chapter.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1 2 3 4

Ao3

Defeating Gideon had been surprisingly easy, if Emma called sacrificing herself and hoping to God and any other gods that were around that her sacrifice meant she would get to live her Happy Beginning with her family and new husband, despite having just been stabbed in the gut. And thank goodness it was True Love’s Kiss worthy, because Emma really hadn’t wanted to die. And considering that was the final battle, she felt it was the least scary out of everything they’d had to face in the past. The Black Fairy just preened and monologued most of the time, while Gideon had his heart stolen, so she couldn’t blame him for him wanting to kill her (she had immediately asked Belle to put a protection spell on his heart, like Regina had with Henry and she had with Hook after their hearts had been taken, which Belle readily agreed to).

But now life was… well it was normal. And normal was not something Emma Swan-Jones (yes, she was hyphenating) had seen in the past few years. And it was... strange. It was strange living a perfectly normal life with Captain Hook as her husband, who insisted on using the iPad to find healthy recipes for dinner since he knew she would eat Pop Tarts or bear claws for breakfast and Granny’s for lunch. It was weird seeing him just lounging about in sleep pants on the weekends when they weren’t working (thankfully, David still worked weekends for them so they could have time for themselves along with the actual Three Musketeers spread throughout the week, who made pretty good deputies), or taking her and Henry out on the Jolly Roger to go fishing, or any other number of domestic fantasies she’d once had about idyllic life in Maine. What wasn’t strange was after a year of domestic bliss when the stick had shown the words ‘pregnant’ and she hadn’t freaked out about it whatsoever.

Because there hadn’t been any danger in over a year, which was the longest the town had gone since she’d arrived. Nothing, nada, zero, zip, zilch. Just some bad dreams which was to be expected after everything they’d gone through in such a short amount of time. And which had made her and Killian a little more carefree. It wasn’t as if they were getting any younger. She was pushing 32 and Killian was… well, they’d agreed he’d be 36 according to the paperwork Regina had magically made for him. Killian hadn’t taken kindly to being on the closer end of 40, but Emma had insisted that it just made him more worldly, and if they did ever venture outside of Storybrooke, he could freely talk about things he had done in context with his age. And now parenthood was going to be part of that.

“When does it get to the good stuff?” Hope huffed, interrupting Henry’s reading of the epilogue of his book. They were sitting in a tent in the woods only a few miles from where Henry was going to meet their parents later that day. Alice seemed to be having the time of her life, completely enthralled with the sequel to her favorite book, which seemed to be the real life account and love story of their parents and the defeat of multiple villains, until the final battle happened three years after Henry brought her to town. She’d read it the entire drive to the campsite and Hope had discovered she was a very enthusiastic reader. She constantly yelled or gasped or cried at something that happened in the book. Hope had gotten a chance to read much of it last night and the rest when the sunlight filtered into their tent that morning. She’d always been an early riser, unlike her mother and Henry. Hope had to admit it had been a fun adventure tale, (although the first few chapters chronicling the first year Emma had been in the town of Storybrooke had been pretty boring and in the last few chapter everyone seemed wildly out of character), but she wasn’t sure if she actually believed this was a true account of anything, like Alice and Henry did. Henry had insisted that he read the final chapter to them together, so they could understand what had happened.

“Not every chapter needs to be action packed or full of chase scenes.” Henry admonished her. “Besides, don’t you want to hear about what happened after your parents' Happy Beginning?” Alice clapped giddily while Hope rolled her eyes. Henry had always been a bit dramatic growing up, but Hope still couldn’t wrap her head around this whole fairytale business Henry was trying to sell her.

Killian was ecstatic to learn he was going to be a father. Although, after everything he’d been through, the thought of having a child was a little daunting. He’d never imagined he would ever become a father. Of course, he and Milah had discussed it, but having a baby while being a pirate would never have worked. Once she had died he’d never even considered it until he met Emma. And now it had finally come to pass that he was being given the opportunity to become a father. He already knew having a child would be the greatest adventure he’d have in his life.

Of course, when the ultrasound indicated they were not only having a girl, but two of them, Killian’s head went a little fuzzy and he had to sit down with his head between his legs so he wouldn’t pass out (Emma had teased him about it for days after and brought it up to everyone they came across).

Twins!

They were having twins. When he’d finally got his head on straight he picked Emma up in his arms (again reminding her he’d carried rum barrels bigger than her) and twirled her around. He was excited, so excited. Not only was he going to get the chance to be a father, but he’d get to do it twice in one go! His dreams quickly became consumed by little girls with his hair and Emma’s eyes, or Emma’s hair and his eyes. They’d be sailing, play sword fighting, drawing, all the things he wanted to teach them. They quickly agreed on names for the two girls. Alice for his mother and Hope because of everything they had gone through and the hope that had gotten them through. Emma had insisted that they use the names Cleo and Margaret for middle names, to honor two influential women in her life. So, from then on, Baby A became Alice Margaret, and Baby B was Hope Cleo.  For the next few months everything was complete bliss.

When Emma hit her third trimester, her mother, knowing that twins could come early, insisted on hosting Emma a baby shower. Emma agreed on the condition that it was a small affair. No grand balls or carnivals like she was wont to do. And so, on a sweltering hot day in early September, Emma entered Granny’s which had been closed down just for them, to find a large group of women waiting for her. Snow had stayed true to her word and not invited the whole town. Emma was relieved to see many familiar faces, including Ruby and Dorothy who had used the ruby slippers to come to the event, Belle who had brought a two-year-old baby Gideon with her (even though it still freaked Emma out slightly that this tiny child had once tried to kill her), Ashley and Aurora with their broods (they had both added one more child over the past few years), Elsa and Anna, and even Mulan had made the trip, though her girlfriend, Merida, had refused the invitation, Emma couldn’t blame her since she’d only known Emma when she was dark.

Things had been going great. Regina had made her lasagna, much to Granny’s chagrin. Zelena was even giving helpful tips despite Emma having sped up her pregnancy (she reminded Emma that she had done midwifery research when she’d first come to town). It was nice that everyone in town was actually getting along despite the terrifying last few years. Emma really shouldn’t have been surprised when it all went to hell.

Alice gasped so loudly that Hope actually jumped from her seated position on the tent. Her heart had immediately started pounding in her chest.

“Geez, Alice!” Hope said perturbed. “Lighten up. It’s just a story.”

“It’s not just a story.” Alice argued. “We’re reading about our mother. If anything, you should be the one more concerned as you got to actually grow up with her.” She sniffled as her anger gave way to tears. Hope almost wanted to roll her eyes, but she knew how strongly Alice felt about this all being real. Hope still wasn’t sure what Henry’s endgame was here, but she did know that she and Alice were sisters. She knew that with every fiber of her being. But Snow White and Prince Charming were their grandparents? The Evil Queen had cast a spell to bring them all to their land to get her happy ending? Their mother was married to Captain Hook (considering Alice knew her father had a false hand, she seemed quite surprised that’s who their father turned out to be), a former villain turned hero? It all seemed a bit much. She hoped there would be a simpler explanation somewhere down the road, but she was determined to let Henry play out his little fantasy for the time being until he brought their parents to them later that day.

“I’m sorry.” Hope sighed, placating Alice. “Please continue, Henry.”

A swirl of golden smoke appeared in front of them. Emma immediately went on the defensive, a ball of white light forming in her hand. She could see Regina conjuring a fireball at the strange plume of smoke and out of the corner of her eye she saw Granny duck behind the counter for her crossbow.

As the figure in the smoke came into view, Emma took in the mass of dark curls framing an olive face from under a black hood. The woman had big eyes with heavy lids and red lips that almost put Ruby’s to shame. Her burgundy gown seemed out of place for the modern town of Storybrooke, in that it looked like it belonged more in Camelot than even the Enchanted Forest. It was trimmed in the exact same shade of gold that her swirl of smoke had been. Emma realized she’d been staring too long at the woman who had just crashed her baby shower, but she had the overwhelming sensation thrumming through her body that she knew this woman somehow.

“Who are you and what do you want?” Emma growled at the woman who had made no attempt to do anything after her grand entrance. The room had gone impossibly quiet. Even the children who had attended with their mothers weren’t making a peep. Granny still stood behind the counter, crossbow in hand, but she too wasn’t making any comments. Regina still had a fireball ready to go, it’s fire crackling at her fingertips, but nothing else happened.

“I’ve slowed down time.” The woman said with a deep voice, one that seemed as soothing as a lullaby, but chilled Emma to the bone. The voice seemed familiar to her as well, although she couldn’t recall from where. “They can’t perceive what we are doing right now, but that’s why they’re not responding to me and only you know what’s going on.” The woman smirked at her. Emma had the impression she was supposed to be impressed.

She wasn’t.

“I’m only going to ask you one more time.” Emma said, using all her strength to pull her hand back, a ball of magic swirling within. Her other hand instinctively went over her stomach to shield her children. “Who are you and what do you want?”

“Oh, my sweet dear.” The woman said in what Emma assumed was supposed to be a motherly tone. It sounded sweet and calming, but Emma could hear the evil lurking underneath. “Haven’t your dreams told you why I’m here yet?”

A cold chill ran down Emma’s spine as she realized how she knew this woman. She’d been in her dreams!  Floating above her, the woman would chase her through the streets of Storybrooke threatening to take something from her. Something that would…. make the woman stronger, if she recalled the dream correctly..  Emma had dismissed it as an anxiety dream; the woman representing any number of villains that could spring up and ruin her happiness. But here she was, in the flesh, and already Emma had failed to protect anyone around her.

“You asked why I was here.” The woman said, her voice suddenly going from calm and soothing to cold and calculating. It now sounded like nails on a chalkboard to Emma’s ears and she couldn’t suppress another shiver that ran down her body. The woman gave a simpering smile at her. It made Emma sick to her stomach. She still had her magic at the ready though. She was not giving this woman an inch.

“My name is Gothel…”

“Like from Rapunzel?” Emma spoke without even thinking. Gothel turned to her slightly frazzled from Emma’s outburst, but schooled her features back to the smile that creeped Emma out to no end.

“I have never bartered a child for greens, nor kept one in my tower. Nor have I kept a child in my tower to keep my youth.” She said menacingly, her face pinched. “Yes, I have done my research into what your realm thinks of me.” Gothel’s features changed back to look like a woman who would dote on a child rather than hold one against their will. “I am simply an ordinary elemental witch. Content to commune with the four elements and let them use me for what they need.”

Emma did not miss what she had said.

“And what do the elements need?” Emma was quickly losing her patience. And she had to pee. Two babies didn’t leave a lot of room for her bladder.

Gothel smiled at her. “I knew you’d understand.” She practically purred. “It’s not what they need, Emma dear, but what they have told me. Some very disturbing things they have told me, and unfortunately for you, it means that your children are a danger to me.” Her blue-gray eyes flashed almost black. She slowly made her way up behind Emma and spoke directly into her ear.  “This is not a warning, this is an absolute truth. Enjoy what little time you and your children will have together, because I will not let the whispers come true.” And with that Gothel poofed out of the diner in her golden smoke.

Immediately, the patrons of the party sprang back to life, almost speeding up comically. Everyone looked around for whomever had come from the golden smoke, but all they saw was Emma crumpling to the ground holding her stomach and sobbing.

Alice gasped as Henry read the last part and grabbed Hope’s hand, as if the move would comfort her as well. Hope was in no need of comforting. She just wanted to get to the end of the story so she could understand. The story was taking place in early September and Hope knew they were born in late September so there was no suspense if this was supposed to be about their birth. She knew her mother was alive and well, so she knew nothing bad was going to happen to her. This all just seemed... redundant.

She could see Henry staring at her, gauging her reaction. Alice seemed close to tears and Hope couldn’t understand why. She’d never even met her mother.

“So what is this evil supposed to represent, an almost miscarriage? We were born, so obviously everything is okay.” She rolled her eyes at both Henry’s eagerness and Alice’s sadness.

“Wow!” said Henry with a shocked expression that then turned into a smile. “You really are just like mom. She didn’t believe me either.” He looked back down at the book, preparing to continue reading. “Don’t worry, the interesting part is coming up.”

Being at the hospital, not knowing what was happening to her or her babies was the scariest thing Emma had ever faced in her life. And that was saying a lot considering everything she’d faced. But she wouldn’t know how to even look at Killian if they lost their girls. The men had gone out on the Jolly Roger during the party, taking a pleasure cruise, so to speak, so Regina had to poof out to them to let them know what had happened. Killian came rushing into her room, and grabbed her hand, and a fresh wave of tears spilled down her face.

The barrage of questions came from his lips immediately. “Are you okay? Are the babies okay? What did the doctor say? What happened? Is there a new villain? Are you okay?” It actually made Emma’s heart sing, the level of concern he had for her.

“I think I’m okay, same with the babies. Whale just assessed me to make sure I had nothing external wrong. We’re going to do an ultrasound to make sure the babies are good.” She paused for a moment, dragging his hand to her cheek, something that always soothed her. “It seems there is a new villain in town. Her name is Gothel.” He quirked an eyebrow since she had shown him Tangled. Gothel had not been anyone he’d ever come across in his travels, so they’d figured she’d been made up for the story. “She said our babies are a danger to her and she won’t let whatever is supposed to happen, happen. She said this wasn’t a warning. Just the truth.” Her voice started to waiver again.

Killian pressed a kiss to her forehead as she let the tears fall again. How many times was she going to put him through this? How many times was there going to be danger that he could do nothing to prevent from happening? But instead of comforting her some more or telling her everything would be okay like he was prone to do, he stood up, his body vibrating with anger, his hand pulled away and fisted on his jeans.

“I’m going to talk to the Blue Fairy.” He said suddenly. “After Whale tells us that the girls are alright, because they are going to be alright, Swan. This...Gothel... wouldn’t have told you that they’d be a danger to her if they weren’t going to be okay. This was a scare tactic. An intimidation. And I will not have my family worried about some impending doom. We’ve come too far for this to happen now.”  Emma reached for his hook and pulled him toward her.

“Just stay with me for now. We’ll worry about this when we know everything is alright.”

But according to the Blue Fairy it wasn’t alright.

“Well, she’s definitely more than an elemental witch.” Emma and Killian stood in the Blue Fairy’s office, which was covered with large tomes, smaller books, and even a few scrolls.

“So you’ve heard of her then?” Killian asked darkly.

“Yes and no. She goes by many names, Gothel being one of them. Gothel actually means godmother and being an elemental witch means she’s most likely descended from a forest nymph or dryad. Possibly even from Gaia herself.” Emma saw Killian immediately get a worried look on his face.

“I take it Gaia is bad?” Emma asked, suddenly feeling the weight of not finishing high school or going to college coming back to rear its ugly head at her. Killian grimaced and she could see him thinking of the best way to tell her what she was not understanding.

“Gaia means earth in Greek.” He stated plainly. It didn’t take Emma nearly as long to figure out what that meant as she thought it would.

“Wait! You think Gothel is descended from Mother Earth?” she exclaimed.

“I think she’s exactly who she says she is,” the Blue Fairy said before Emma could spiral out. “But I think she’s a lot more powerful than she’s letting on.” She paused and gave a sigh before continuing on. “I found a prophecy in an old book. Probably as old as me. I think it’s the prophecy that Gothel is alluding to, but I need to study it first before I decide if it actually pertains to you. I don’t want to mislead you or give you false hope or false terror if it’s not the correct one.”

Emma wanted to rip the paper out of the Blue Fairy’s to read what it said. She could feel Killian tense up next to her, most likely thinking the same thing. But she calmed herself. How many times had she ‘jumped to conclusions’ before examining all the evidence first? It was one of her biggest flaws when she first started sheriffing and she wasn’t going to start doing it again. She took a deep breath to calm herself.

“Okay.” Emma said, squeezing Killian’s hand to let him know that they needed to let the Blue Fairy do her job. “We’ll trust your judgement. Just let us know as soon as possible so we can come up with some sort of a plan. In the meantime,” Emma said, turning toward Killian. “I’ll put a protection spell around our house, the bug, and the sheriff station.” She turned back to the Blue Fairy. “Do you know of any protection spells we can use on ourselves or the twins?”

The Blue Fairy shook her head. “Unfortunately, protection spells can only protect objects and people within them. And you know from personal experience that they aren’t one-hundred percent effective.” The Blue Fairy said. Emma nodded, remembering her experience with Regina and her mother, Cora, in Gold’s shop years ago.

“Here.” The Blue Fairy said, conjuring up some chalk and pressing it into her hands. “This might help. It’s infused with fairy dust. It may look like glittery chalk, but it’ll have a little more kick to it than a spell and regular chalk.” Emma squeezed it and mouthed a silent ‘thanks’ to the Blue Fairy. Killian gave a slight bow.

“Thank you Lady Blue.” he said before they turned and left.

Hope was about to scream into her pillow. She checked her watch, noting that there was another hour before Henry had to leave to meet her mother and Alice’s father. She wondered if this epilogue would ever get to the point. She still had no clue why she and Alice had been separated and why their ‘parents’ didn’t remember each other. This whole thing was getting more and more absurd by the moment. Now Gothel had been brought into it? She remembered seeing that movie as a kid and not really thinking that Gothel had been a subpar villain compared to some of the other Disney villains out there. She knew in the real version the witch had no purpose for taking the baby except in trade. But in Henry’s version it was seeming like she had no real connection except for a random prophecy. Now she felt like they were veering into Harry Potter territory.

Henry must have sensed her frustration, again, because he paused his reading to stare at her. “I promise, Hope, this will all make sense soon,” was all he said before diving back into the book.

Emma and Killian spent the next few weeks in fear. The twins weren’t due until mid-October and they had no idea if Gothel would come around again. Both Emma and Killian, plus the Blue Fairy, Regina, Gold and David had been trying to figure out where Gothel had come from and how she had gotten into Storybrooke. Once they realized that the waters that came from the well were the same waters in Lake Nostos, Tiny had managed to take some of the burned beans he’d saved from years ago and restore them. They now had plenty of beans to make portals to go all over the realms again, but they were highly regulated by David, Snow, and Regina. People in Storybrooke could travel by portal, but, as far as anyone in town knew, no one from any other realm could travel to them. Usually someone from Storybrooke took a portal to the other realm, gave them a bean and took another portal home. They didn’t want beans falling into the wrong hands and becoming a black market trade item again. Of course, there always seemed to be beans regardless. But, there were only a few select people who knew about Storybrooke. How in the world would Gothel know about them and how in the world would she find them?

While everyone else was working on the Gothel problem, Killian had discovered online that some really rare phenomena were going to be happening in the night sky. “There a Harvest Moon tonight!” he yelled animatedly. “I wonder if it will be orange like a true Harvest Moon or red like the Blood Moon?” Emma loved when he got passionate about astronomy, the man who was once guided by the stars. “It’s also a Super Moon,” He said almost in a teacher-like voice, “because it’s so close to your realm. And….” he paused for what Emma assumed he felt was an even more amazing discovery  “It’s also a lunar eclipse!” Killian grinned widely.  “Even in my hundreds of years, Swan, I’ve never seen anything like this!”. Emma could only hope that she’d be able to stay awake for it.

Killian had just started cooking an early dinner so they could just gaze at the night sky when the first contraction hit.

“Are you okay, Emma?” Killian dropped the mixing spoon and ran over to her.

“I…I think I just had a contraction.” Emma was concerned. The babies weren’t due for another month, but she also knew twins could come early.

“Do we need to head to the hospital?” Killian asked, clearly nervous and concerned.

“No.” She said, kissing him on the cheek. “Water hasn’t even broken yet. Let’s have dinner. Lord knows they won’t let me eat in the hospital while I’m in labor.” Emma was surprised at how calm she was over this. Considering the last time she’d given birth she’d been chained to the bed and not even taken a look at Henry, she was feeling very empowered. Being in charge of her pregnancy the way she wanted to be had a way of doing that. They sat down to eat for their last meal as a family of two (Henry was at Regina’s, but they’d both be at the hospital when they felt it was time to go), when the contractions started ramping up.

“I think it’s time to head to the hospital.” Emma said. Killian grabbed the go bag that they’d packed and headed to his old Jeep Cherokee they’d bought on a trip to Boston.

“That’s what kind of car Papa drives!” Alice exclaimed, interrupting Henry just as the tension was getting good.

Henry smiled at her. Hope was feeling something akin to anticipation. She felt like they were finally getting somewhere in the story with their impending births. She knew that had to reveal something.

“Are you alright, Hope?” Henry asked, concerned. “You’ve been really quiet.”

“I just want to finish the book!” She said through gritted teeth. She really needed to know how this pertained to them, and all of Alice’s disruptions were starting to grate on her nerves.

Henry nodded at her and Alice and continued.

Alice Margaret Swan-Jones arrived at 9:07 on September 27th, 2015. The lights flickered around the hospital on Emma’s final push. Whale had been concerned (once Alice had been bundled up and placed in Emma’s arms) that it could have been Gothel, but Emma assured him that it was most likely her magic, and that the same thing had happened when Henry was born, only she hadn’t been aware it was her magic at the time.

There was a perfect view of the eclipse from the window in their room. Emma and Killian watched as the almost blood red moon traveled across the sky and then disappeared when it was caught in the Earth’s shadow. Emma was glad she had this rare occurrence, plus her new daughter to keep her mind busy while she waited for her other daughter to make her appearance. Hope seemed to be taking her time, and it was making Emma nervous. She knew she could ask Killian to invite Henry and her parents and any other number of people who were anxiously awaiting updates into her room to meet Alcie, but she really wanted to wait until both babies were out. Whale had also started talking about a c-section if Hope didn’t make her presence known soon, as twins usually were born within minutes of each other, not hours. Right as the moon started to peak out from the shadow of the Earth, a huge contraction hit Emma again. It seemed Hope was finally ready.

Hope Cleo Swan-Jones was welcomed into the world at 12:27 on September 28th, 2015. Emma and Killian were astounded when they realized that their girls were born on separate days, but they were just thrilled that they were safe and healthy. Emma had almost hoped her relatives and friends had gone home instead of waiting around, but they were all there, ready to see the newest additions to the Swan-Jones clan.

Henry insisted he be the first to see his new sisters, followed by Snow and David. Even Regina was permitted to hold them, something Emma could see she cherished, being allowed to be part of their family. It was almost three in the morning by the time everyone started to filter out and the Blue Fairy arrived, a look of despair written on her face.

“What is it?” Killian immediately asked. He had Alice in his arms and hugged her protectively.

“The prophecy is as I feared.” She looked down at the floor, almost as if the prophecy she suspected belonged to them was her fault.

“How can you be sure?” Emma asked. She had been drowsy just a few seconds ago, but now it was if caffeine had been put into her IV drip.

The Blue Fairy pulled out a thin piece of parchment from thin air and handed it to them. It was written in an elegant script, something Emma would associate more with a love letter rather than a prophecy.

When the moon becomes red with blood,

And darkness covers the land

Two will be born.

One ere the witching hour and one hind

To conquer nature’s sinister conjurer

By separation will make stronger

And reconciled on the day and night the true harvest moon meets.

Emma read through it several times, not quite understanding. Her mind was swimming from the events of the day and that adrenaline jolt she’d just had was now coming down. She was desperate to know and understand, but she just couldn’t focus at the moment.

“Killian, take Hope.” And she immediately passed out.

“Is it over?” Hope wondered, thinking that was an odd place to end the epilogue.

“Almost.” said Henry, but before continuing on he asked, “Did you understand the prophecy?”

Hope thought about it. “The moon becoming red with blood and the darkness is obviously the Harvest Moon and lunar eclipse,” she said.

“And the witching hour is usually midnight.” Alice interjected. “So it’s saying one would be born before midnight and the other after, just like we were.” But I’m not sure about the rest.” Alice frowned.

“Well then.” Henry said, noting that there were only a few pages left until the book was finished. “Let’s see what we can find out.”

Emma awoke to sunlight streaming in her window and Killian and the Blue Fairy deep in a whispered conversation. At first she was confused about why the Blue Fairy was in their bedroom, but as her arm hit the guard rail of her bed, she remembered that she’d given birth to the twins that night. She quickly turned to see the girls both sleeping soundly in their bassinets to the side of her, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Ah! There’s the happy little mother!” Killian whispered loudly and got up to kiss her on the forehead.

“What have you learned?” Emma asked, keen to understand the prophecy and how to defeat Gothel.

“Well, we know this prophecy pertains to us because it mentions the twins and the fact that they’d be born last night on either side of the eclipse during the Harvest Moon. All that business in the sky last night was apparently a welcoming celebration for them.” Killian joked halfheartedly.

Emma shook her head to clear away the last vestiges of sleep that clung to her.

“May I see the prophecy, please?” She asked, holding out her hand for the parchment. The Blue Fairy handed it to her. Both she and Killian tried to say something about it, but Emma put out her hand to stop them. She needed to look at the prophecy and come to her own conclusions before she heard what they had to say.

“Okay. I understand that the first half pertains to our girls, but what about the second half? Nature’s sinister conjurer seems to be a fancy way of saying Gothel. Being separated from something makes her stronger? And what does it mean by a true Harvest Moon?”

Killian stepped forward and took the prophecy back from Emma’s hand. “That’s what we’re trying to figure out, love. The Blue Fairy and I have already hypothesized what it could mean. But, don’t forget, prophecies don’t necessarily mean what you think they mean.” He placed the prophecy down on the side table and took a picture of it with his phone so they could study it more later.

“So what do you hypothesize then?” Emma asked curiously. Her brain was still too muddled to even guess at what the second half could mean.

“Well,” the Blue Fairy began, “judging from her cryptic message at your shower, we think that she thinks your twins can do some damage to her, or vanquish her in some way. Nobody seems to have heard of her in any other realm that I’ve been able to reach out to. And the only Gothel people know of here is the Rapunzel fairy tale, which, from all accounts, seems to have been completely made up and not based in any truth.”

It didn’t make any sense to Emma. Why would a seemingly low-level witch, that didn’t seem to have made any sort of name for herself in either the good or evil camp, want to hurt her children? Why would a prophecy be written about her children defeating this unknown witch, who by all accounts hadn’t done anything to anyone yet?

Yet.

“Have you looked into other prophecies that might pertain to Gothel? Anything about an elemental witch or nature’s sinister conjurer like our prophecy calls her? Maybe she hasn’t turned evil yet. Or maybe this whole thing leads her to turning evil.” Emma said, letting her thoughts take over.

“A self-fulfilling prophecy you mean?” Killian asked. Emma could see his mind working. “Like that Oedipus Rex fellow who killed his own father and married his mother?” Emma laughed at one of the few outside of fairy tale literary references she actually recognized. She was about to say something when a loud wail pierced the air.

“Looks like one of our little ladies has awoken from her slumber.” Killian said, walking over to the bassinet and picking up Alice, who was practically eating her fist.

“She’s hungry.” Emma said, holding out her arms for Killian to put Alice in. The Blue Fairy rose and told them she’d look into other prophecies that might pertain to Gothel. Emma got Alice all ready to nurse when another wail was heard.

“Ready to try and change a diaper?” A nurse said, entering the room. Emma laughed at the horror-stricken look upon Killian’s face.

Hope let out a deep sigh. This epilogue was getting them nowhere, and it was too long. Hadn’t anyone ever told Henry that the epilogue should wrap things up and not bore the reader? But Henry wasn’t paying attention to her, nor was Alice. They were totally engrossed in the story that Henry was reading. Hope checked her watch and noticed that Henry would need to leave in half an hour. She really hoped the story would be finished by then, though that seemed impossible at this rate.

It was two years before Gothel made herself known again.

Two years in which the twins learned to crawl, and walk, and talk, and gained teeth, and grew hair, and had their own little personalities.

Two years in which Snow insisted on getting as many pictures of the girls as possible in matching outfits that she insisted on buying for them.

Two years of Henry writing down every small story that happened and filling books as the author.

Two years of silence in which Gothel was almost forgotten.

Almost.

It was a month after the twins turned two that the Blue Fairy started hearing whispers from the Enchanted Forest about a new evil that had taken root. Just small things at first, nothing she even felt was necessary to tell Emma and Killian about. A spark that ignited a forest fire, but no casualties. Spells that seemed to have gone wrong leading to bad weather, or higher or lower  tides that affected the lands. But then, the reports escalated to the decimating of crops, the killing of livestock, the burning of entire forests. It seemed the ‘elemental’ witch was using the elements to drive out the citizens of what she was now calling ‘her’ forest.

Emma had started having nightmares about her daughters being taken away from her, or trapped in a tower that she couldn’t reach. The worst were the dreams where she and Killian and the twins were separated and she couldn’t find them all to put their family back together. She would cling to Killian crying while he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, reminding her that they were safe, while showing her their sleeping girls in their cribs through the baby monitor.

After one such night, Emma and Killian were rudely awoken by a pounding on their front door. This immediately set the twins off, which is why Emma was very rude when she flung the door open.

“WHAT THE….” she started, but then saw the Blue Fairy standing before her looking as though she hadn’t slept in weeks. Her clothes were wrinkled, her eyes had purple circles around them, and her usually neat and tidy hair looked like she’d stuck her fingers in an electrical socket.

“I’ve figured it out.” She said, not waiting for an invitation into the house, but just barging in and heading to the kitchen table.

Emma looked perplexed as Killian came in holding both girls on either side of him. He handed Hope to Emma while he put Alice in her high chair.

“Figured out the prophecy?” Killian asked, gathering items to make breakfast for them all.

The Blue Fairy nodded.“Everything! Who Gothel is. Why she’s after you. Why we haven’t been able to find anything about her previously!” Emma barely remembered to place Hope in her high chair before sitting down, her mind whirling.

“I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out why and how she came to you two years ago, when she was unknown to anyone. It didn’t make any sense. Even the prophecy I found was written by a seer only a few months before Gothel came to you. And then there was only recent happenings that suggested that Gothel was fairly new, so I went to the Enchanted Forest and consulted with an Oracle.” She paused, Emma inferred, to collect her thoughts.

“The Gothel that came to see you was much more powerful than the Gothel that is currently trying to terrorize the Enchanted Forest. She was able to cross realms and slow down time. Not even Regina or the Dark One at the heights of their power could do something like that. Rumplestiltskin had to get Regina to curse the entire Enchanted Forest in order to cross realms. Gothel, at this point and time does not have the capability to do this.” Hope banged on her tray, startling them all.

“You’re saying at this point and time.” Killian said as he cracked eggs for breakfast. Emma had to admire how he could stay so domestic while being told about someone who was trying to harm their children. “I’m assuming that’s not just for dramatic effect.”

“You would be correct. The Gothel that visited you came from the future. That child she bartered for in her story? Used to make the same kind of time traveling spell Zelena attempted to do. According to the Oracle, she’s been studying up on you and your family ever since she came into possession of the prophecy and figured out who was going to destroy her. It seems she’ll become quite the vicious ruler, even worse than Regina, if that’s possible. She’s trying to recover the land of her foremothers by ridding it of all humans. It seems our theory about her being a descendent of Gaia is true and she’s reclaiming Gaia’s land for all elemental witches because we have destroyed it too much for her liking.”

Emma tried to wrap her head around what the Blue Fairy was telling her. A very sizable foe had traveled back in time for the express purpose of warning her that her daughters were a threat and that she would be coming after them because of a prophecy. She knew she must be missing something, because she was feeling very much like Harry Potter learning about why Voldemort had attacked him as a baby, but having not understood that he fulfilled the prophecy just by going after Harry. Had Gothel shown her hand by warning them?

“So, what does all this mean?” Killian asked, bringing over a bowl of scrambled eggs to the table on top of plates for everyone. He scooped some onto the girls trays and then plated some for himself and Emma, the Blue Fairy shaking her head when he offered her some.

“It means she’s going to try and separate us all at some point, according to the prophecy.” Emma said matter-of-factly.

A grim mood settled over them, the twins too young to understand happily eating their eggs with their hands.

The Blue Fairy bid them farewell and promised she’d do more research into how to avoid the prophecy, but Emma knew that prophecies were usually unavoidable, but could often be circumvented to a degree.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

It was the next day when Gothel came back. Emma, Regina, and the Blue Fairy used all the magic they could to keep her at bay, but her magic was much too strong. She had all four elements on her side to work with, and their magic was not enough to defeat the original source of magic.

After weeks of Gothel beating the town down with rainstorms, hurricanes, carnivorous plants, and almost anything else from nature that could be thrown at them, it was Regina who finally had the idea for them to leave Storybrooke. Gothel’s magic wouldn’t work outside of the town. Emma was adamant that they stay and fight. She couldn’t leave the people that she loved to fight this witch without her. But even her parents begged her to get out of town after weeks of Gothel attacking them. They’d holed up in Regina’s crypt, protected by blood magic, the one type of magic Gothel didn’t seem to be able to break. But because of the high price blood magic required, they couldn’t use it to protect the whole town.

“It’s the only way, Emma,” Snow and David pleaded with her. “We can let you know when we’ve defeated her or figured out how you and the girls can defeat her. Please.” Snow was crying into Emma’s shoulder. Seeing how much her parents were scared for her finally got her to change her mind. She and Killian packed up all they could into her tiny, yellow bug and into Killian’s Jeep. They would head out of town the next morning. Henry insisted on coming with them, much to Regina’s chagrin. But he was 17 and wanted to see more of the world and help protect his little sisters.

Emma was reminded of their goodbyes at the town line when Pan had cursed the town and she and Henry had to leave while everyone went back to the Enchanted Forest. Only this time, she had her husband and children with her, and the Snow Queen’s Scroll to get them back in when the threat of Gothel was gone. She would still be able to talk to her family and friends on the phone, or even video chat. Everything was going to be okay.

Emma had Hope and Henry waiting in the Bug, while Killian had Alice in his Jeep. They were about to cross the town line when Gothel appeared, floating in front of them. She threw a bolt of her magic below her directly onto the town line stopping them in their tracks, cackling the whole time.

“You think you can run from me and my magic?” She threw her head back in a shriek, her black curls whipping all around her in a black halo.

Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Emma wondered if Gothel had slowed down time again, but she realized it was just the fear of the moment. Emma got out of the car, her magic crackling in her hands.

“This ends now!” Emma said angrily. She was tired of this. Tired of the fear that had hung over them for so long. She just wanted to defeat this bitch and go back to her normal life.

“You wanted to separate yourselves from your family to defeat me, fine! I’ll make sure you are separated from everyone. No one will even remember you were here.” And with that she pulled out a bottle from her dress pocket and uncorked it.

“No one here will remember you and you won’t even remember each other.” The liquid from the bottle had begun to bubble and golden smoke started to pour forth from it. “This whole town will never remember the Swan-Jones family. And you will only know who you leave town with.” Emma’s eyes widened with realization that if they left town she wouldn’t know Killian or Alice, and they wouldn’t know her, Hope, and Henry.

“Emma, Killian, you have to leave!” Regina shouted at them. Snow and David nodded in agreement, tears streaming down their faces. “The prophecy says you’ll defeat her, somehow you’ll figure it out, even without your memories. Now go!”

Emma and Killian looked at each other, both of them now realizing that they would not know each other once they crossed the town line. That their love story would not get a happy ending. And that their twins would both grow up without one of them.

“I love you, Swan.” Killian said from where he stood next to the Jeep, his hand on the handle ready to get back in. “Never forget that.”

Emma nodded, tears streaming down her face. “I love you too. We will have our happy ending.” They smiled at each other, not even having enough time for one last kiss. Emma sat herself in the front seat and the both drove through the golden fog over the town line together.

Emma only vaguely remembered the Jeep that kept up with her most of the way on her trip down to Boston. She was too concerned with how worried Henry seemed to be about their move, probably still reeling from Neal’s death a few weeks prior. She hoped their move to a new place would help him find the peace that he so desperately sought.

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[morphedphaseblog]

The starless sea by Erin Morgenstern

Goodreads version

The introduction

This is just to warn everyone that I'm not a literature student, an English major nor a native English speaker, so I'm sorry in advance if this is a jumbled mess. I tend to ramble a lot but I've really tried to keep this as short as possible. (Short meaning a little bit over two thousand words for one review, I've never written a review this long.) I wrote this for self indulgence and for my lovely book club @readerbookclub

The first impression

This book pleasantly surprised me, it was like a very long dream that you don't want to wake up from. The moment I finished it I wished that I hadn't because I couldn't part from it just yet. It would feel almost like cheating, I wanted the intertwined stories to continue and for me to remain in its trance, lost in the beautiful writing and bizarre world.

I will be the first to admit that when someone says the story is written almost poem-like, in prose, and similar, I will immediately think of meaningless quotes that are there just to look pretty. Characters saying things just to sound deep, frilly writing that leads nowhere, and dragged on descriptions that had no place being that long and boring. Those are the first things I think of when I'm confronted with someone explaining those kinds of books to me, and that's completely my fault. This book was none of that, it was captivating from the first page to the last.

"There is a pirate in the basement. (The pirate is a metaphor but also still a person.) "

I can tell you, when I first read this, on the first goddamn page, I was hooked. This book has a strong bizzare sort of setting, one that almost reminds me of Neil Gaiman, distinctively Neverwhere with its underground society and twisted perceptions of reality, and yet this book stands out on its own as an individual. It's definitely a unique book, one that I'm still hesitant to part from.

The writing

This book has a very unique writing style, one that is extremely consistent throughout the book. There's nothing I hate more than an inconsistent writing style that changes without a reason. The author plays around with words and describes things simply yet poetically. There were only maybe two instances where I thought the writing was a bit pretentious, but ultimately the good outweighs the bad.

I don't know what exactly it is, but I will try and explain through the next few quotes:

"The book is mis-shelved in the fiction section, even though the majority of it is true and the rest is true enough"

(This really gives you the sense of vague foreshadowing in the book, where even though the description tells you sweet sorrows is mostly true you don't realise how true it actually is. I never saw the fact that the characters in that book would be actual people that interact with our main characters. Plus the writing is really pretty)

"It's binding has been cracked a handful of times, once a professor even perused the first few pages and intended to come back to it but forgot about it instead."

(Is it just me but these small detailed descriptions really give you a sense of real world happenings and that the story is really set in the real world. You can imagine people passing their fingers over the spine of the book before glancing around and getting distracted with something else. The professor taking it into his hands and skimming it but ultimately forgetting all about it later, and finally Zachary reading the whole book from top to bottom.)

"His dark hair is grading at the temples, framing a face that would be called handsome if the word rugged or unconventionally were attached to it."

(Now I'm in love with this kind of mental visual, it's fun and it almost plays with your expectations. I just really like small things like these, they immediately make my reading extremely entertaining.)

"Someone in the corner is dressed as a highly recognizable author or, Zachary thinks as he gets a closer look, it might be that highly recognizable author."

(Again as before, this is the kind of writing I like. It plays with your imaginary visuals of what's happening and making them ten times more fun, especially when we confirm a bit later that that had indeed been that highly recognizable author.)

"He walks over bones he mistakes for dust and nothingness he mistakes for bones."

(Yet another example of those fun visuals, I didn't even realise how many of these I had marked until I had to go through them for this review. I just adore this writing style.)

I have so many more of these so here are just a few more to really make this review even longer:

"A portrait of a young man in a coat with a great many buttons but the buttons are all tiny clocks, from the collar to the cuffs, each reading different times."

"His face is so much more than hair and eye colour, she wonders why books do not describe the curves of noses or the length of the eyelashes. She studies the shape of his lips. Perhaps a face is too complicated to capture in words."

"There are dozens of giant statues. Some figures have animal heads and others have list their heads entirely. They are listed throughout the space in a way that looks so organic that Zachary would not be surprised if they moved, or perhaps they are moving, very, very slowly."

"The figure in the chair is carved from snow and ice. As her gown cascades down around the chair the ripples in the fabric become waves, and within waves there are ships and sailors and sea monsters and then the sea within her gown is lost in the drifting snow."

"Allegra watches him with studied interest from the other end of the table, the way one watches a tiger in a zoo or possibly the way the tiger watches the tourists."

"It sounds strange and empty now, in her head. Rhyme can hear the hum of the past stories though they are low and quiet, the stories always calm once they have been written down whether they are past stories or present stories or future stories.

It is the absence of the high-pitched stories of the future that is the most strange. There is the thrum of what will pass in the next few minutes buzzing in her ears- so faint compared to the tales layered upon tales that she once heard- and then nothing. Then this place will have no more tales to tell." .

(Probably one of my favourites, it really highlights everything I like about this style of writing.)

Another kind of writing style I noticed in the book was an abundance of making things literally feel alive, giving human emotions to objects, personification. I don't come across this too often in other books, and when it happens it isn't repeated as often in that same book,since it tends to get old, but as we have already learned Erin Morgenstern never makes this boring. She plays around with this and never seems to stop, adding another layer to her writing cake. I love how she gives these characteristics to even the smallest of crevices hidden in shadows, something just people wouldn't even think of.

"He takes his torch and explores the shadows, away from the doors and the tent, among jagged crystals and forgotten architecture. He carries the light into places long unfamiliar with illumination that accept it like a half-remembered dream."

"Outside the inn the wind howls, confused by this turn of events. (The wind does not like to be confused. Confusion ruins it's sense of direction and direction is everything to the wind.)"

"The wind howls after him as he leaves in fear of what is to come, but a mortal cannot understand the wishes of the wind no matter how loud it cries and so these final warnings go unheeded."

"If the sword could sigh with relief as it is taken from its scabbard it would, for it has been lost and found so many times before and it knows this time will be the last."

One more thing that caught my eye in the writing was also the composition, where we technically start with in medias Res. We find out by the end of the book that everything that has happened was one big ass story wrapped in stories and overlapped with other stories. So Zachary literally comes in not even in the middle of the story, but at the very end that has been overdue for quite some time. This makes for a very interesting storyline as all the other storylines intertwine into eachother, it makes for an even more interesting read as our MC comes in only when the plot is at its end, tipping over the very edge.

(I also got the feeling that the entire book is almost told through the perspective of the story, if that makes any sense whatsoever. It's almost like the story, that is bound together like the most complicated twister game, is alive and is smiling over our characters smugly waiting for everything to run its course. Like an omnipresent god, that's at least the vibe I got reading the book. )

The world building

Now in my opinion the world building goes hand in hand with the writing in this book. Every detail I mentioned before builds the atmosphere and the base of all the world building in this book. The way the plot is written is written also contributes to the world building, as all the stories overlap and meet at the very end. The looping plot line is actually my number one favourite thing in the entire book.

There isn't that much to say except 'what the hell is going on?' in the best way possible, to the world building, because as confusing as it can be it's amazing to read and I think that it's one of my favourite aspects of the book.

The Characters

Now is time for the weakest part of the book, its characters, who even though I think are amazing, are definitely flatter than everything else in the book.

In my opinion most characters personalities I just can't pinpoint, and even though this personally doesn't take away from my enjoyment too much, I know a lot of people love well defined character personalities.

For some characters I can understand the constant change in character, like Mirabel, whose multiple lifetimes make it so it makes sense why her personalities overlap and make little sense. She constantly felt a bit inconsistent to me, but again I personally didn't think it ruined the book.

The most well developed personalities I could feel were Kat and the keeper, and at times Dorian. Zachary is a weird gray area for me, because even though I loved his character, I can't really tell who he is besides the son of the fortuneteller. I think that most of the character building was sacrificed to make the plot and the world feel alive. As I said before, it feels like the omnipresent god and the world is more developed than any of the characters personalities.

I usually love marking all 'character moments' where I feel like I can understand what kind of person the character is, their sense of humour, friendship, socializing, thinking and so on. But I found myself marking basically nothing of that kind in this book, just the beautiful descriptions of the world. The story was just more alive than the characters in it.

I liked all the romances even though they all lacked some depth, but the fairytale style writing of the romance definitely made them extremely enjoyable. If it weren't for the fairytale vibe all the romance would have been just flat, and I  wouldn’t be invested at all.

The Conclusion

I wouldn't reccomend this book for everyone, as I think great many people wouldn't be fans of the writing, and so the lack of character depth wouldn't help either and there would be no good to outweigh the bad. I truly think this book is a perfect 4 starts but to me personally it is 5 stars. I am just such a big fan of the looping storyline, I still haven't gotten over that. To finish it all off here are a few extra quotes that I liked:

"No one takes responsibility. Everyone assumes someone else will do it, so no one does."

"It is critical to steep the tests in ignorance to result in uncorrupted responses."

"They all have similar elements, though. All stories do, no matter what form they take. Something was, and then something changed. Change is what a story is, after all."

[tazzmanien]

Every Day the Protagonist Wants to Capture Me - Review

I finished Every Day the Protagonist Wants to Capture Me during winter break and it took me a while to write a review for reasons.

Did I enjoy the novel? -   Well kinda. Would I recommend it? -   Not really. Would I like that others read it, so that I can talk to someone about it and gush over Xie Xi, Fu Chongyi, Wei Ciyin and Demon Lord Yan Heng? -   A huge YES!

But let's get in the details for a bit here... SPOILERS AHEAD!

The good:

Length - Happy it was relatively short; reasons in the bad.

Pace - The pace at the beginning was quite fast, which was nice for the fact that I really didn't want to read a book about a 13 year old child falling in love. I’m not big on teenager love stories. But ... see the bad.

Narration - point of view - I love how the inner monologue of Chu Yu is written, so that it could also be interpreted as the narrator voicing his own thoughts. I caught myself thinking “the narrator is funny” several times, before figuring out that this was actually Chu Yu thinking.

World - Not sure about this point. I would have probably liked the world if it were described better at times.

Fights - The fights were actually really fun to read. Very simple, yet entertaining. 

Characters

Chu Yu our main guy - A simple soul that did not particularly receive a privileged treatment from mother nature when he was created; a moron I gladly adopted within seconds. We must be related I think. I love him. Why? Well, I can complain about cliches all I want, at the end I always end up liking the most cliche characters (Chu Yu) or the biggest or craziest villains. I loved the fact that he did pretty much gave up on his aloof act. I don’t think I would have liked reading about another unapproachable older and wiser figure transmigrator. BTW pretending to be dead to avoid the enemy could be a genius move from me, love you for that lil brother. It was also nice that he got the protagonist plot armor at some point.

Xie Xi our mains love - At the beginning he was “The Cutest™ with cheeks made for pinching” and later became “naughty flirting master say one word and I'm all yours”. No but honestly, at 16 he already had the flirting skills of an immortal master! It made me a little uncomfortable to be this into his flirting. Even if you don't give this book a chance, then at least read the wine incident (chapters 16 - 18). I'm still blushing thinking about it. I once wrote and am still standing by it:  "Xie Xi, you are not flirting with me and aren't even real and yet I’m blushing like crazy. How about you grow up a little and then come to reality and pay me a visit" And honestly he only got a) better at it and b) more blatant over the course of the novel.

For the rest ... Even though there were characters that did not get enough screen time or story, there were a few that I really really loved, like Wei Ciyin (a sensual lil bastard), Demon Lord Yan Heng (I mean wouldn’t you fall in love with a stunning demon lord whose laughter sounds like crows above a burial mound in the middle of the night?) and Fu Zhongyi (you beautiful creature, you and your lil adorable fox awwww). Worth mentioning:

007 System - My queen! (I decided it had to be a woman.) I loved that there was a comment function in this system. Although towards the end it wasn't used as much and in general it could have been used more effectively in my opinion. Nevertheless, a nice touch.

Chu Sheng - If you think Chu Yu is dumb, well then just wait til you get to know his overprotective brother. He would even win an idiot competition against me, which should tell you all you need to know. Love him nonetheless. Also he deserved better! To have to do the things he had to, is really devastating! I am a proud member of the “protect Chu Sheng squad” and will forever love the fact that Fu Zhongyi exists!

Insects (would you count them as characters?) - You know what, I have no issue with insects in general, but swarming insects are a thing I could gladly live without. There were a few chapters that gave me the creeps. I guess this would be called good writing, as it arouses emotions from the reader. It had the same effect as the face disease in Tian Guan Ci Fu on me. So a “negative” good I guess?

Couples 

Main couple - First and most important Koala snuggling will never be a boring couple trademark. I was a little nervous that the beginning would drag and we would have to watch a 13 years old child falling in love with a grownup for too long. So I was glad they skipped that part soon. They got together quite fast after the skip, which was more of a negative thing for the overall story, but it also was kinda nice to read more on how they grew as a couple. For example how Chu Yu showed more and more love over time. So even though the story suffered it was kinda nice to follow this couple.

Other couple - Chu Sheng and  Fu Zhongyi were even a better couple in my opinion, but unfortunately we didn’t get enough of them. 

Side-plots - A few side-plots were kinda nice I must say, but could have had more detail and better transitioning into the big plot.

The bad:

Writing style - The writing style, or maybe partially the translation (which I don't believe as they did a terrific job with SVSSS), is not my thing. Short sentences, with little to no flowing transitions in the writing. Many things don’t get describe at all, like the surrounding, the looks of characters or any background information about why certain things were happening. But it is quite an easy read, maybe exactly because it’s written this simply. Still it took me a little to get used to it and finish it.

Pace - The time jumps were, well how to describe it? Sudden, weirdly placed and paced and mostly never really effectively used for shock effects (even though the author surely had those intentions). There was this one jump where Chu Yu was talking with Wei Ciyins father (forgot his name) and then it just cut the scene to the future and it never got resolved satisfyingly. It should have been important, but when it was mentioned again later it was just ... well boring.

World - As written above, the world was not really described in detail, so I’m not sure about this point.

Characters 

The novel had a decent amount of characters and should have been able to build their side stories properly, however, was not able to deliver many details for most of them. I think only for that reason I was kinda bored whenever Shizun Lu Qingan or what was his boyfriends name again appeared.

Chibi Chu Yu was fun, but stayed for far too long for my taste.

Xie Xi - At times he didn't seem very bright, which put me off somehow. After he got together with Chu Yu he lost most of his "screen time" and whenever he appeared it was just to ask for fish (papapa). To be honest the plot could have ended without him, as he had no importance in the second part of the novel, which was very mehh I mean why write a strong, charming, troubled and loving character and just make him this second grade s** obsessed fangirl annoying our main guy. Okay, yes, he did that to Song Jingyi and had one decent high grade fight, but this was not enough for my taste.

Wei Ciyin - I don’t know what it is about picturing Wei Ciyin with his devilishly beautiful face, dressed only in a snow-white inner robe, lying on top of a cluster of flowers while drinking wine, but that part got stuck in my head and I was so disappointed to find out, he was just an unimportant sort of villain canon fodder and had not much of an important story overall.

Villains in general - Well, what to say about the villains? They were strong, mystic, menacing and cruel, but somehow the whole novel felt like the author was not sure who the big bad boss was supposed to be and jumped from one canon fodder villain to another and "killed" off the supposedly strongest villain Demon Lord Yan Heng within 2 chapters. Why? He was amazing! Give me a whole novel about this character only, NOW! In the end there was a red string throughout the whole story, but it was not as good as it could have been, exactly due to the fact that the villains were so unconnected somehow. Well, I should probably mention Song Jingyi, who was a decent a-hole at least.

Couples

Main couple - Even though I was happy we got a time skip early in the story. The main couple got together waaaaaay too early for the story to be able to go on without a very intriguing plot, which the story unfortunately did not have.

Other couples - Even though it seems like a nice fan service, I think it is quite boring to give every character a love interest (reciprocated or not doesn’t matter). So some of them just were kinda meh in the end.

Plot - It felt like the novel was full of subplots. The big plot lost all its drive due to the way the novel was written. At the end of the book you can clearly see a red string throughout the whole story, but while reading it all just felt unconnected, like a collection of short stories. The mains couple love was the driving factor, but the fact that they got together in the first half (or was it even third) just killed the suspense totally and felt like those american shows that drag on for 8 seasons, when you would have loved it to stop at season 3.

But my biggest disappointment in this novel is not what you might think... It is actually this: Xie Xi was asking Chu Yu “let’s do it” like at least 100 times before their first time. So of course I was hoping that before they actually have their first time, Chu Yu asks Xie Xi the same thing in retour. That would have been perfect. At some point he said something like "are you not going to do it”, which was ok, but not THE THING!

Conclusion:

Lots of potential, but not the best. Still I liked it a little. I’d call it guilty pleasure, if for nothing else then at least for Xie Xi.

[theolivechickken]

And just like that, it’s over.

I’ve never been a fan of goodbyes. I never say them because it always feels so final. Instead, I’ll say things like see you later or see you soon. Because then there’s a chance that I’ll be back and it won’t be a goodbye forever.

Spent the last night saying goodbye wishing people safe travels and saying see you soon, and trying to stay up till the shuttle arrives at 4:20am. Failing almost miserably as I slept right through my alarm and had to sprint around to get ready in the dark and drag my luggage downstairs (sorry if I woke you up @Aubree). What a wake up call. Wasn’t all fully functional to fully comprehend the finality of everything. Hugging Kaya and Sara as they try not to shed tears as they watch their little shotskis fly home. It all felt so quick and unreal. Just as arriving had.

Battled in my mind about the best way to beat jet lag and get on California time asap. Ended up staying up on the whole shuttle ride (also what is it with drivers here??? Our guy was really hauling ass to get to the airport for some reason. He was booking it at 140km/hr in a full shuttle van). Regina, Michaela, and I parted ways with Ayetzy, Nadia, and SaVanna since their flight was earlier than ours. We set up shop at a cafe booth in the airport and had a light breakfast to kill time. Still had too much time on our hands. It was barely 6am and we couldn’t check in till 9am.

Getting through the airport was pretty breezy though. We made our first flight to Dublin with no problems and then quickly wished Michaela luck on her next Europe adventures with her family. Regina and I had to go to Customs, but luckily the workers were very friendly and the line was also speedy. HOORAY for not having to go through customs when we land at LAX!

The long haul (for me) wasn’t bad either. I think it’s because the lady who was sitting next to me moved to a different seat shortly after the plane took off. No one else claimed the seat, so I was able to spread out in my row. I stayed up that entire 10 hour flight. Weirdly enough, I wasn’t tired. Just mildly bored and trying to stay entertained. I listened to a few podcasts, watched Ralph Breaks the Internet, Bohemian Rhapsody, Monsters Inc, and part of Lilo and Stitch. I played Solitaire for god knows how long. I read some of Michelle Obama’s book, “Becoming.” And I ate all the food that the flight attendants offered throughout the trip because I had not eaten a proper meal since we left the Mönchsburg.

At points in the trip, it would hit me that I was actually coming home. I didn’t know what to feel. Sad? In denial? Happy? Confused? That’s for sure. Sad and in denial because I truly believe this has been one of the best few months of my life. Doing what I love to do and having the complete freedom to do so. I mean, when else do you have the chance to take a 4 month vacation from life? It’s unreal. I’m truly grateful for the opportunity and experiences. Happy? Yes :) Who knew that traveling non-stop could be tiring at times. I was happy to get a break and be back home with the people I love dearly. Confused? yeeeet. It’s a lot to process.

I’m not gonna lie, when I opened the shade and looked out the window to see that we were flying over Nevada and California, I’ve never been so sad to see a desert in my whole life. WHERE ARE ALL THE ENDLESS GREEN FIELDS AND THE SNOW FROSTED MOUNTAINS? Why is everything all brown, hazy, and endlessly populated? It was a somewhat sad reality check, but it’s also my home.

I’m home.

It feels good to be surrounded by the familiar and to feel that sense of being home. It feels good to see your love waiting at the bottom of the escalators with a bouquet of roses, a big smile, and a warm hug. It feels good to eat In-N-Out burgers with animal style fries. It feels good to go on long drives home in a car and to talk about conspiracy theories in person instead of over FaceTime. It feels good to watch the hot red sun set and to have the windows down and smell the familiar smells of the city and nature. Everything here is hustling and bustling and sometimes it’s sensory overload. But after a while, you start to acclimate to life back at home and begin to see the beauty of everything around you.

Thank you Nick for trusting me to go on this incredible journey and for sticking by my side even when we’re 6000 miles apart. I love you. Thank you to my family and parents for supporting my goals and dreams, and for helping me to achieve them.

Thank you to my hardworking professors for encouraging us to step outside of our comfort zone and challenge what we know. Thank you for showing us how to approach problems from different angles and for giving us a unique opportunity to look at Salzburg, Austria, and Europe from different lenses.

Thank you to my Salzy Fam for all the marvelous memories, the ups and downs, and the bonds that will never be broken. Thank you to Sara, Kaya, and Katharina for organizing the semester and for keeping it real. You’ve made this experience a genuine treasure for us to hold and cherish forever.

Finally, thank you to whoever followed my adventures abroad and took the time to read through my novel of blog posts, photos, and videos. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

[kurogabae]

Tsubasa: Trainwreck Chronicles

And Why Bee Train Personally Owes Me At Least a Grand; an Essay by Popular Demand

part 1 part 2

For those of you who might not know, I love Tsubasa Chronicle. So much. But for the love of Kurogane’s beautiful biceps is the anime awful. Now, I’m not one of those “manga purists” who always insists the manga is better than the anime, I tend to find them equal pretty often. This is not one of those cases.

Once upon a time CLAMP made a deal with Bee Train for a Tsubasa anime. Cardcaptor Sakura had done so well! CLAMP was a solid name to back! Bee Train had nothing to lose - except the trust of every CLAMP fan ever. I don’t know how hands on CLAMP (or rather Ohkawa) were in the production but I feel like “not at all” is a fairly solid guess. It was a mess folks. Production was rushed, story was disregarded, plot was cut up and Frankensteined back together, I’m not even going to talk about the English casting.

In fairness, it wasn’t without it’s good points. The soundtrack was flawless, the Japanese cast was amazing, and when Bee Train tried they really did manage to make the series look nice, which imo makes the rest of the subpar animation even more of a slap to the face. They even had some genuinely enjoyable filler episodes - the chibi episode and the Kero and Mokona episode are always the first to come to my mind - but overall? Not even a hot mess, just a mess. 

Under the cut we’ll go arc by arc. I’m not going to rewatch the series just to write this so forgive me if I’m missing facts or if something I say is slightly inaccurate. Also, beware of spoilers for the manga if you haven’t finished reading it. That means you Nick. I’ll write you up a spoiler free copy of this later. Anyway, let’s go.

Opening and introductions:

You’d think, as the start of your series, you’d want the first episode or two to look really nice right? Catch the eye, impress the new viewer. Not Bee Train! [x x] The whole thing is subpar at best. Syaoran and Sakura’s introduction isn’t so bad for the most part, they’re cute and Bee Train tried to add a little more interaction between them before Sakura loses her feathers, which I am all kinds of behind, but... there’s a point where they run from castle guards. And Syaoran sort of just... grabs her and runs and Sakura is left literally flapping in the wind? [x] Also Sakura looks stoned out of her mind in like 90% of the shots she’s in. Touya probably thinks Syaoran is giving her drugs. But honestly, I don’t have too many problems with how the intro happens, mostly just the way it looks.

Fai’s intro can go by with almost no comment aside from the fact that his face looks like it’s melting. Sadly, this is not the worse his face will ever look. Pretty meh.

Personally I think Kurogane’s intro got the short end of the stick visually and I’m not just saying that because he and Tomoyo are my favorites. They both look pretty awful and, as always, where’s the beef???

Also Yuuko deserved better. 

Hanshin:

If possible, the animation gets even lazier. We’ve added Mokona to the party and they cannot decide how big she is. I’m not being nitpicky either. Her size fluctuates wildly. Here are just a few examples set only in Hanshin. This problem persists throughout the series. Also I don’t know how to exactly put this into words but... everyone’s eyes are just extra jacked up. 

Plot wise we mostly follow canon. Until they decide Sakura should get more screen time. “Great idea!” I can hear you say. “We love Sakura!” Well so do I. Problem: she has one (1) feather to her name and is comatose. Sakura is not really going to do anything. Yet the camera keeps going back to her- oh wait she’s awake. Sort of. Oh she’s getting dressed now, we even get a very weird little montage of her trying on clothes. Now she’s wandering the town, meets up with the leader of the Mohawk Gang whose kudan Kurogane beat the crap out of. Luckily she’s a super cute girl (who is barely conscious and doesn’t even talk? She’s so far from Mokona she probably can’t even understand these guys anyway but...) so they take her out to lunch instead of doing something Terrible. To the restaurant Touya works at. He serves her and doesn’t recognize her, meaning there is no Sakura in this world, at least not one related to him. This happens a lot.

In the anime Sakura is sometimes, for reasons unexplained and inconsistent, “drawn” to her feathers. She’s looking for her feather. There is an absurd Looney Tunes moment where she climbs some sort of tall thing (oil rig? construction site? world’s weirdest flag pole?) and jumps off of it before Syaoran and Co. (who have located her after Arashi, who would never have lost track of her in the first place let’s be real, tells them she’s gone AWOL) can stop her.

And then she flies. Literally and truly fucking flies. Through the sky. Thanks I hate it. 

Syaoran catches her, brings her back home, and the story pretty much continues. One fun change was that the whole family had to share a room, they didn’t get separated like in the manga, so we get treated to this Gay Fucking Scene(tm) of Kurogane waking up and the first thing he sees if Fai sleeping while angelic music plays in the background. So that was nice.

Oh god hang on, I had to come back and add this because I literally always forget: Kurogane sees a version of Tomoyo in this world and goes running after her, leaving Fai and Syaoran to meet Touya and Yukito on their own. This results in both of them missing Kurogane’s kudan fight and Kurogane missing the “same face, different person” talk/reminder. They still can’t draw Tomoyo. 

Also this.

Koryo:

Where’s the beef?

Much in the spirit of Hanshin, Koryo keeps mostly to the plot and has overall meh animation with a few choice moments of dear god why. Surprisingly, they made a few changes that I didn’t hate - the village had gotten a group of rebels together against the Ryanban. He also stole Chu’nyan’s mother’s body, making it so that her spirit could never find peace, making him even more of a dick.

This is where we see the first instance of the anime really being geared towards younger audiences than CLAMP had planned for. In the manga Sakura wins everyone new clothes via dice gambling, but in the anime she wins a lottery. Not a big deal, but we see more of this. Another thing change is that there’s a whole secondary plot added to everything when they try to, again, give Sakura a more active role. There are better ways to do this, but Bee Train sort of just tosses her into action and then tosses Syaoran in after her. It’s always bad and pointless and never amounts to anything. 

Anyway, she ends up inside the castle, somehow Syaoran manages to follow after her. Goodness knows what the dads are up to. (Probably this.) Some Really Weird Stuff happens and from what I remember the spirit of Chu-nyan’s mother hops a ride out of the castle with Sakura. Who, uhh, teleports her and Syaoran out. Yeah.

The rest of the arc goes pretty much how the manga does with a handful of minor changes - like the fact that Kurogane never bought a manga in Hanshin, so in order to block Kiishim’s killing blow he’s tucked the hammer he was using to fix the roof in his shirt, which is a much smaller shield than a whole ass book and I think that’s dumb. Still can’t get Mokona’s size right, to awkward and hilarious results.

And remember kids, we won’t show you dice but we will show you this.

Big Lake and Shipper Fish:

The animation in this part is actually pretty nice. Considering. The things they changed were needless and weird.

Sakura and the fish talk. How? Why? We don’t know, it’s never explained or examined. We are meant to accept it Because Sakura, which only works most of the time. The fish tries to tell Sakura that she knows Syaoran - we all know this will not and cannot work. Why does this happen? What was the point of adding this? It is so weird and awkward. It messes up the flow and is so extra. I understand your desires Shipper Fish, but please, let things take their course.

Jade:

Fuck you and fuck your animation. It looks The Worst, which is a bummer because this world changes the fewest amount of things. Anything I could point out are really minor:

somehow Fai can read

they never show how the family gets their clothes, and 99% of the scene in the tavern is skipped

breaking and entering!

Mokona bites Kurogane in the ass

they don’t have horses

no Kuro-dork looking at the snow like an excited child

they nerf Kurogane’s BAMF

the feather isn’t hidden behind a wall, they need the pure hearts of children?

Kyle was a way lazier villain 

Filler #1 - Lightning Jazz Hands:

Alright, that looked neat as hell, I’ll admit. My compliments end here.

Story: nosy little shits got themselves cursed. Gonna fight in a competition to win a Big Magic. Is the Big Magic a feather? Stay tuned! (It’s not, because then the girl would die and that would be Too Sad.)

So the people in this country can shoot lightning out of their hands, that would be awesome and possibly scary, but I guess Kurogane is water/ground type because he gets it and only says, and I quote, “it tingles”. So your lightning powers mean nothing, add no stakes, and the Fam can’t do it so what is the point?

This filler is also famous for its KuroFai baiting, which is impressive, seeing as the anime tried very hard to make them Not Gay. I mean it failed but yeah.

Syaoran is the only fighter they have left because Kurogane and Fai are children and Sakura is making friends with the cursed girl. Keefer... Keepha... fights Syaoran, and obviously Syaoran wins because we’re supposed to think this is a feather. They really play it up to, even after we learn the Big Magic isn’t a feather Syaoran still hesitates before handing it over. For dramatics I guess? I don’t know, there’s literally no reason for him to not give it to the needy couple.

Boring filler. Only fun was watching Kurogane get excited over fighting people.

tbc... with Outo

[part 1] [part 2]

[thefanficnewbie]

The Unexpected Punk on a Snowy Night - part 1 | Chloe Price x reader

My take on a Christmas-themed BtS imagine! Merry Christmas, people!

Summary: You had accepted the fact that your Christmas would be a lonely and quiet one. You were cool with, honestly. Spend it reading books, watching Home Alon again, it could even be nice, right? Well, guess you’ll never find out. Not now that a certain troublemaker showed up at your doorstep in the middle of the night.

Author’s Note: this happens before Chloe meets Rachel.

Read part two here!

You jerked awake at the sound of your ringing phone, the chorus of your favorite song playing over and over again. A grunt left your lips as the brightness of the desklamp hit your eyes and momentarily blinded you.

“Dammit.” You mumbled, reaching out your hand towards the nightstand beside you. After accidentally pushing a couple of pens to the floor, you managed to grab your buzzing smartphone. With a yawn, you brought it to your ear, still not completely awake.

“Hello?” A few muffled sounds were the only answer you got. Now that the black dots cleared from your vision, you were finally able to reach full consciousness. You had fallen asleep while reading a book - said object still lying on your lap and your back still leaning against the bed frame.

“Hello?” You sat up straighter, slightly annoyed by the interruption of your so beloved sleep. Just as you were about to hang up, a female voice spoke:

“Yo, (Y/N)… What’s up?” 

“Who’s th- Chloe?” You furrowed your eyebrows as you recognized her voice, still too groggy to come up with reasons as to why she’d call you so out of the blue. 

“Yeah, that’s me.” You could practically hear her roll of eyes. “How are you spending the holidays?”

“What?” Geez, could she be more random? “Chloe, wait, why the hell are you calling me at-” You checked alarm clock “1AM, Merry Christmas, by the way?” You hurriedly added the last part after doing the math and realizing that hey, it’s Christmas!

“Uh, thanks, same to you.” She paused for a second “I’ll just go straight to the point. Is there any chance you’re still in Arcadia right now?” At that, a tingle of worry started to grow inside of you. Chloe Price, the troublemaker who you barely talked to, calling you on Christmas, late at night? Of course, that meant trouble.

“I am, actually. Couldn’t make it to my parents’ this year…” While they still lived in your hometown (a few hours from there), you had moved to Arcadia Bay to study at Blackwell at the beginning of your sophomore year. Instead of sleeping in the dorms, though, you stayed at the apartment complex owned by a friend of the family, who took full responsibility for your well-being. 

“Good.” She said, making you frown. You didn’t really see the ‘good’ in spending the holiday alone. Price continued before you could reply, “You still live in the same place, right? From when we did that science project?”

“Uh, yeah-” That didn’t smell good. Not at all. You bit your lip in anticipation.

“Here’s the thing, I’m kinda on your street right now, it just started snowing and it’s real cold, so… Can I come in?” 

“Wait, what?” Your frown deepened as you kicked the blanket off your legs and jumped to your feet, now giving the call your full attention. I probably heard that wrong… Or maybe this is just a prank call of hers, you thought, reaching out your hand to turn on the ceiling lights.

“What you heard, dude. I’m outside of your building, freezing. I know it’s sudden, but I- Oh, hey, I see ya.” Your eyes widened in exasperation as you looked through your window, examining the lonely figure standing on the sidewalk, who waved at you.

“Chloe, what the hell?” A sigh left your lips as the fact of her being right there sunk into you. And the award of unexpectedness goes to… “What are you even doing here?” 

“It’s a long story, man, one that I don’t really feel like telling… Listen, I ran out of cash, I just need a place to stay until it stops snowing. I know we’re not friends or anything, and that it’s Christmas, but could you please do me a solid here?”

You didn’t hesitate.

“Of course. I’ll be down in a few.” You pressed the hang up button.

Frankly speaking, you had no idea what was going on. You two seldom talked, apart from the one time she’d spent the afternoon at your place for a pair project, and a few messages exchanged throughout the year. Chloe was a surprisingly nice, funny girl, despite all the bullshit everyone insisted to say about her. Sure, some of her habits and behavior deserved to be frowned upon, but as you came to know, there was a whole other side to her that often compensated it.

Still, that didn’t mean you expected her at your doorstep on Christmas. 

Shaking your head, you put on a robe over the thin fabric of your PJ’s and headed to the building main staircase, cursing as the cold air hit you. On the tip of your toes, you hurried to the ground floor and immediately unlocked the front door. You just wanted to get back to your cozy and warm bed.

“Hey there!” Price had her hands thrown in her pockets, her head in a hoodie, and a smirk on her face as she nodded at you. “Thanks for this, (Y/N). Seriously.”

“Anytime.” You stepped back to make space for her to get inside, staring at her a little more than society would consider normal or polite “Now, come on before you turn into an ice cube out there.” You offered a soft smile, finally looking somewhere else.

“I’d be a fucking masterpiece of a statue if that happened, though.” The teenager walked to your side and you closed the door the behind you. 

“Absolutely. I’d even take credit for it and expose it somewhere, call it ‘The Unexpected Punk on a Snowy Night’.” You chuckled, leading the way towards your apártment as you two exchanged silly jokes and remarks all the way up. Suddenly, you found yourself reminded of why you wanted to become friends with her a few months back; you could never get enough of her sass and sarcasm. 

“Make yourself comfortable!” You said as you stepped into your living room, Chloe right behind you. 

“Nice decor.” She gestured to your arrangement of Christmas lights, a small white tree, red socks and several childish drawings pinned to the wall. You felt your cheeks warming up.

“Heh, what can I say? I actually enjoy the whole Santa Claus thing a lot, plus the little kids in the building are cute little artists.” You shrugged. The children liked to give you their art, and you were happy to show it to whoever entered your apartment.

“Cool.”

Awkward silence. Fidgeting your fingers, you stole a couple glances at her, quickly shifting your eyes back to a random point in space a few moments later. What exactly did normal people do when someone showed up at their doorstep at 1 AM? 

“So-” You two said in unison, immediately averting your gaze from each other. You gave a small embarrassed smile, clearing your throat. “Are you… hungry? I don’t exactly have fancy food here, but…” You just then noticed her still slightly shaking limbs “Dammit, sorry, I’ll turn up the heater. Would you like to take a shower?” You asked as you made your way to the temperature regulator.

“No, no, I’m cool-”

“Yeah, you’re way too cool. A little bit of hot water wouldn’t be a that bad to warm you up, y’know?” You turned to her “C’mon, I… I’m sure we can find some clothes for you in my closet.” Now that you thought about it, that phrase did sound a little weird.

“It’s fine, really. I’ll be outta here soon, don’t wanna bother you or anything.” She said dismissively.

“You’re not a bother, don’t worry.” You smiled “It’s quite nice to have someone here, especially tonight… I was kinda lonely.” You frowned slightly “But I still don’t get why you’re not with Joyce right now.”

Chloe’s face darkened as crossed her arms, staring at the floor. You could almost feel the cloud hanging over her.

“She’s got better company, apparently.” The punk said through gritted teeth. 

Noticing her change in demeanor, you decided it was best to not touch on that subject again. It was none of your business anyways. Though you still felt sorry for her.

“Well… At least we’ve got each other, huh?” You playfully elbowed her “I might not have turkey or roast chicken, but I’ve got popcorn and Netflix. You can crash here too,” You hesitated “if you want. I wouldn’t mind it at all.”

“Um,” Chloe started. Your heart skipped a beat. Had you taken it too far? “if you say so.” A wave of relief washed over you as a smirk grew on her lips.

“Let’s show those motherfuckers what a real Christmas party looks like!” She smirked, earning a series of giggles from you. God, it was so much better to see her with a smile on her face. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be such a boring holiday, after all!

Thank you for reading this! Any feedback and/or reblogs will be highly appreciated! 

Read part two here!

Hit me up if you wish to be tagged! :D

[nocaptainreuben]

Recapping My Christmas Reads... Finally.

So way back at the start of December I wrote a post called My Christmas Reading List and told you to “keep an eye on the blog for reviews of all the new books as I finish them”. Yeah… That didn’t happen. :P Don’t get me wrong, I read the books, and I wrote notes as I went along, but my motivation escaped me and I never actually sat down to write the reviews. So, to catch myself up, here’s a recap of my bookish end to 2016.

The Christmasaurus

As I said in my original post, I was so unbelievably excited for this book, as I love everything the Fletcher family do. I am pleased to say that it did not disappoint.

The story centres on a young boy called William Trundle who loves two things: Christmas and dinosaurs. One year, he can think of nothing to ask Santa for except the obvious – a dinosaur – and as luck would have it a very special dinosaur has made the North Pole his home… We see William and the Christmasaurus share an amazing adventure and have a lot of fun with them along the way. Whilst the plot is obviously very fantastical, there’s an awful lot of real emotion and heart in there, and it has a really strong message of kindness, tolerance and friendship, and provokes thoughts of things like what true happiness means, what’s really important, and how everybody can have adventures and do anything if they really believe. All that sappy nonsense. :P

The writing style is absolutely gorgeous; full of innocence, imagination, silliness, magic, and downright joy. Instantly after starting this – like, I’m talking literally in the first sentence – I had a huge smile on my face, this indescribable warm, happy feeling in my stomach and a knowledge that I was going to absolutely adore this book. It has the same feeling as Roald Dahl books, full of all the same crazy ingredients his stories were, and took me right back to my experiences of having those stories read to me as a kid.

But simultaneously, it also sent me into the future picturing myself reading this to my own kids and just filled me with joy. Whilst I don’t have kids yet and just read it myself like the big child I am, I know this book is absolutely perfect for little ones. It’s aimed as a MG book, so great for slightly older kids to read themselves, but also it’s so poetic and obviously made to be read aloud, which means it will make a lovely bedtime story – perhaps stretching it out, a little bit each night, throughout December as excellent bonding time while building up the excitement for Christmas.

It’s clear that Tom’s experience with and passion for music has been poured lovingly into every page, not just with the elves’ songs and such, but with the lyrical quality of his writing as a whole, and it just makes it this wonderful, interactive experience that I’ve not had from many books. The book is being adapted into both an animated musical film and a stage musical, and I can already see how well it will translate into those mediums. I cannot wait to see both of them!

Shane Devries’ illustrations, both on the cover and throughout the book, are stunning and really enhance the experience of an already wonderful book. They suit the story so well and help this super imaginative world to come alive in your mind’s eye.

All in all, a delightful story for the young and young at heart, that was a breath of fresh, wintry air for me in this sucky, magicless world.

The Twelve Days of Dash and Lily

This is a sequel to Dash and Lily’s Book of Dares, set a year after the events of that book, after Lily has had a particularly tough year and lost her trademark enthusiasm for life (and particularly Christmas) a little bit. I’ve seen a lot of reviews of this book in which people are moaning about it being very negative and “not in keeping with the Christmas spirit”. And yes, it is decidedly less happy and bubbly than the previous book, but that’s nothing to moan about in my opinion. With the year that Lily had it would be incredibly hard for her to keep her spirits up, and whilst people may not like to face that fact – it’s a part of life. There’s nothing wrong with a book having an air of negativity and reflecting the harder parts of life, because that feels honest and realistic. In fact, I thought it was really nice to see the contrast from the first book – which was so sickly sweet it could have been plucked straight out of Hollywood – and follow the ups and downs of Dash and Lily’s relationship rather than just the exciting rush of it beginning, as it made the whole thing more believable.

Lily as a character has also come under criticism for being selfish, moody and bratty, but again, I thought those traits were a perfect fit to this story. After all, she is a teenager and sometimes that kind of behaviour can be what they do best, but like I said, with the stuff that she’s gone through this year it’s only natural – and completely forgivable in my opinion – for her to be acting like this; it felt like this book was Lily taking time to figure things out, and she just needed to be selfish for a while to do that, which was perfectly ok with me.

Dash, on the other hand, is a lot nicer in this book and I actually liked him less for it. It didn’t feel like there was as much depth to his character anymore, as if he’d become all about Lily and lost a bit of himself in the process, so he ended up quite boring. I’m not exactly criticising, because, as with Lily, it fits; at this time in their lives, it did need to be all about Lily for a while, and that’s just the give and take nature of relationships, so once again I just thought the changes in his character reflected real life.

All in all, I didn’t enjoy it quite as much as Book of Dares, and it did feel a little unnecessary as the first book felt like enough for me and this one didn’t add a whole lot to my experience of those characters and their story. But saying that, there were some nice elements to it and considering how short it is, it’s worth spending a winter afternoon on it just to spend a little more time with Dash and Lily.

Stealing Snow

I did something I never do with this book… I DNFed. *cringes* I actually hate myself a little bit, because I hate the idea of someone forming an opinion on a book without actually having bothered to read it, and the point I stopped (16%) doesn’t seem far enough to have enough information to properly make up my mind. I tried so hard to carry on, but I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know why, but I felt like I had a wall up against this book straight away, and from the first few sentences I found myself thinking “this is gonna be bad”. It got to the point where self fulfilling prophecy was kicking in and making me hate every little thing about it, and by forcing myself to keep reading it I was actually putting myself off reading altogether, so I had to step back and take a break. I did intend to go back and carry on after I’d rekindled my reading libido with a book I was more enthusiastic about, but time went on and I never did, so I finally have to admit to myself that I just don’t want to.

I think the thing that bothered me most of all was that it just felt kind of lazy. There were little things that really irritated me (which I might not have even noticed or been bothered by in another book, but because I was already not enjoying it, I picked up on everything) like the fact that at first it said that Bale had broken Snow’s hand, then later on it became her wrist, then when it was mentioned again it was her arm. It kind of felt like the author had just not bothered to read it back after she wrote it and check for continuity or anything. In the same vein, I got the feeling she had thought to herself “oh well it’s a fantasy story, so I don’t need to bother doing any research, it’s all coming from my imagination” even though at first it’s set in the real world. The “asylum”* felt like it was written by someone with no understanding whatsoever of mental illness or how institutions like that work, and it just… bothered me. I’m not touchy enough that it was full blown offensive, but I just felt a little uncomfortable and more than anything I couldn’t believe it or sympathise with it, so I just felt detached from the characters and not interested in the story.

It’s worth noting that my copy of this book is an unfinished proof, so I can’t really make any comments on it without comparing to the published book, but unless she completely rewrote it in between those two stages I think it’s safe to say I’m not going to enjoy it.

*Personally I think that’s a completely obsolete, really shit word, with super negative connotations, but it’s the one she uses so, hey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So that’s everything I promised. I’ve read a bunch of others since then and, as always, have a load lined up on my TBR, but I’ve learnt my lesson now: I’m saying nothing! We’ll see what happens, and if I ever actually do write anything it’ll be a nice surprise. :P

[bluewatsons]

Ben Isaacs, Interview: James Ellroy, ShortList (2014)

Ben Isaacs: What have you been doing since your last book, the autobiographical Hilliker Curse, was published in 2010?

James Ellroy: I have a second career writing movies that don’t get made and TV shows that don’t get picked up. I want to write a Scotland Yard movie, but I don’t know the nomenclature. I’m considering spending some more time in Britain. But would I be confounded by the left-hand drive again? I once drove over the border into Scotland and kept clipping fence posts. Fucking nightmare. But I’m thinking of coming over to London – in winter, when it’s cold.

Ben Isaacs: We could do a house swap.

James Ellroy: Where do you live?

Ben Isaacs: Bromley in south London. I’m not sure you’d like it. It’s suburban.

James Ellroy: [Carefully looks around the diner] I hate hipsters, I hate liberals, I hate rock’n’rollers, I hate the counter-culture, I hate movie people. I want to go somewhere quiet, peaceful and decorous, and be radical in my mind. I have fatuous American ideas about Britain. I want to go to the moors. I want to buy a shotgun from Purdey for a lot of money, but I understand it’s tough to buy a gun – you can’t just walk in and say, “I’m an American, give me that gun.” British people are the best readers. They speak the same language, but view the material as foreigners. There’s no class distinction for readers there. They ask the best questions and you can talk to them afterwards and go to an Indian restaurant.

Ben Isaacs: What can you tell us about your new project, the second LA Quartet?

James Ellroy: I’m about to finish the first volume, called Perfidia – my biggest book – which will be published in Britain this fall. The new quartet takes characters both fictional and real, major and minor, from the first quartet and the trilogy, but places them in LA during the Second World War. It’s the month of Pearl Harbor, 6-29 December 1941. It seamlessly takes the quartet and trilogy, adds four novels, and makes my oeuvre as a historical novelist one inextricable 11-novel whole. And although the story is very much about the injustice of the internment of the Japanese – most of them innocent – let me say, and this is very un-PC, the fucking internment was not the Holocaust or the Soviet Gulag.

Ben Isaacs: Will people disagree with that?

James Ellroy: I don’t think they’d like my tone. But the book takes a theme I first got hip to thanks to Skyfall. It’s fucking brilliant and it’s the only profound James Bond movie. They’re usually boring and overlong; the books are boring and racist. The stories are shoddy and sloppily plotted. But Skyfall is about the defence of the West, and that’s what the series is about. I also want to write an espionage trilogy set immediately after the Second World War called the Red Alert Trilogy. Churchill predicted the Iron Curtain and Soviet aggression, and thought we should go into Russia while they were weak after the Second World War. In hindsight, he was right.

Ben Isaacs: How do you feel about Obama?

James Ellroy: I hate him. I think he’s a coward, incompetent and I find him sinister. He’s the face of cancerous socialism under the guise of benevolence. His wife going on the Academy Awards by remote hook-up made them come across like Soviet apparatchiks. However, I don’t have a TV, cellphone or internet and I find the world untenable. I’m a big Tory. Big. Tory. There’s also a part of me that loves to say, “Fuck you, I’m a Republican.” I’m a Thatcherite and a Reaganite.

Ben Isaacs: OK. You don’t have a TV, but some say that medium is now better at telling stories than films. Will you ever write a TV drama?

James Ellroy: This is where my TV paycheques have come of late – people wanting to make an Ellroy TV show. I like the form, in fact I love the form. I watch TV shows at a friend’s house most Friday nights. I think Deadwood and Mad Men were intermittently quite wonderful, but often shoddy and veered into incoherence. I saw one or two episodes of The Wire and thought it was bullshit. Bad writing. And I have no sympathy for the underclass. I was hired to adapt LA Confidential for TV last summer, but it didn’t sell. I also came up with a TV show about the private eye Fred Otash. The cable channel FX paid me, and dumped it. We have an actor attached now and we’re putting the script out again. I‘d love to put my stamp on this form of drama if I could control it to the most minute level.

Ben Isaacs: How do you write?

James Ellroy: I have a strange writing schedule now. I go to bed at 8pm, wake up between 1.45 and 2.30am and work for three or four hours, then go back to sleep, then write again in the afternoon. I know how to exploit what’s been given to me--early parental dysfunction, my mother’s murder, all my crazy shit. The most startling moment I’ve had as an artist was in New York in 1985 while writing The Black Dahlia, and in a heartbeat the structural entirety of LA Confidential came to me. I then realised that whatever I could conceive, I could execute. So I’ve executed ever more grandly throughout my career. The books have become more emotionally accessible. In [2009 novel] Blood’s A Rover there’s more interior monologue, more sex shit, more love shit. There’s even more of that in the novel I’m finishing now. Anyway, I need to go back to bed now. What are your plans for tomorrow?

Ben Isaacs: Nothing concrete until about 4pm…

James Ellroy: In that case, I’ll meet you back here at noon, after I’ve been to church, and we will continue. Don’t worry about the check, I’ve got this. And, whatever you do, don’t try getting a bus anywhere around here. Only a cab. And, like that, the interview is paused. Ellroy leaves a 50 per cent tip for the waitress and darts away. I was warned he was a difficult interviewee, so was prepared for that. I wasn’t quite ready for the journalistic equivalent of the girl who texts to ask when you’ll see her again after a first date. As I wait for a cab a woman approaches me. “I know you from somewhere, don’t I? You’re a producer. I saw you with James Ellroy. I’m an actress. Here’s my card. Call me.” Welcome to Hollywood. Less than 24 hours later I’m back in the diner. As I walk in he holds up an arm and says loudly, “Mr Isaacs!” Although I’m on time, he’s already eating. I order a sandwich he will eventually pay for, and get talking.

Ben Isaacs: You’ve said you’ll only write about LA now. What do you love about the city?

James Ellroy: My parents hatched me here. It’s a cool locale. As it happened, Raymond Chandler wrote about this place and preceded me. The likes of Double Indemnity were shot at Paramount – I grew up just south of there – and the movie features the market where I used to shoplift. My parents were quintessential LA arrivistes from the Midwest and East Coast. My mother was murdered here. Kevin Starr addressed the city from the left-hand side of the plate and viewed it as a dystopian nightmare, but I love this place. Now I live here because it’s where I come when women divorce me. The people I love are here, and I need to write movies and TV shows to earn a living. Plus, I love cars, girls and Mexican boxers. The winters here are great. My LA isn’t down and dirty. The fondness some people have for dives I don’t share. I can’t stand even a hint of discord or squalor. I’ve always preferred the more affluent parts of LA. I’ve always loved Beverly Hills. They used to have great movie theatres there when I was kid and you could lose yourself in a matinee.

Ben Isaacs: You set your Lloyd Hopkins Trilogy books in the modern day. Would you write a contemporary novel again?

James Ellroy: I don’t give a shit about the modern world. I was hassled by my agent to do it. I wanted to write third-person, multi viewpoint. I saw that I had to get to the historical novel – specifically The Black Dahlia. It allowed me to get to my work‘s major themes--the secret human infrastructure of big public events, and bad men in love with strong women.

Ben Isaacs: You sound like you’re thinking about your legacy…

James Ellroy: I’m very much doing that. I want to get my shit in line. In case I go to the doctor and he says, “Ellroy, you fucker, you’ve got six months to live.” I want to leave a great literary legacy. I will leave legal documents so no one can ever co-opt my characters or write an Ellroy knock-off book, like when Robert B Parker finished a Raymond Chandler novel. I came of age when being a writer was a big deal. Now everyone’s a writer, due to the internet. Half the people in LA are writing screenplays that’ll never get made. I want to secure my literary legacy despite being more and more flummoxed by cyberspace, the internet and the dissolution of the civil contract. That’s part of my reason for wanting to come to Britain – I’m hoping there’s a higher standard. You’re smiling, so I think you’re going to say no!

Ben Isaacs: Probably not as much as you’d like…

James Ellroy: They’re so sincere, wonderful, especially the working-class people. I stick around to be with them if I’ve got time. There’s just that it in Britain that you don’t see here. And dogs are treated well there. I had a dog gig when I was a writer in New York in the Eighties, working on Because The Night. For a few months I was the caretaker of a big snowbound estate in Rhinebeck; keep the heat on, chop wood once a week and finish my book.

Ben Isaacs: Wait, this isn’t going to be like The Shining is it?

James Ellroy: No. Shit no! [Laughs] I was looking after two Akita females. I took walks with them across golf courses in the snow, and urinated and defecated with them. We were a pack. I wasn’t the leader, but we slept together at night. If it was cold I’d call it ‘a two-dog night’. They’d growl at me if I got up to take a leak. Grr. It was like having two big, good-looking women fighting over me. So good. I love women and I love dogs. The potential nightmare for me is I go to Britain and all I see is like in LA; meth labs, white trash and women with tattoos.