#i was gonna use this on my desktop theme but i changed my mind so here yall go lol

[serenity-unlocked]

(Quick attempt at) Happy Kiss-themed AO3 Site Skin

I made this completely on a whim. Because seeing @/ao3commentoftheday's recent site skin related posts started putting ideas in my head.

At first, I was just gonna add a header image and change basic colors with the Wizard thing. But I quickly realised that changing things with the Wizard didn't change *everything* I wanted it to change. So, I went down a bit of a rabbit hole... This ended up being a bit of a "What kind of Site Skin can I make in just a few hours and restricted to mobile-only" challenge.

There are two options for the tags:

1 (Which I do think looks nice, but might not really use myself much): colored boxes around tags, with colors depending on tag category

2 (the one I would use myself): bold colored text before each tag category in a work

You can find all the code needed for this skin here. Also includes instructions on how to alter the header image's size to better fit desktop. (Also, please check the end notes on it to see the references I used for making this!)

(A few more ramblings under the cut)

Please note this isn't anything super complex. There are actually places where things might look weird. (As an example: You can see in these preview images that the summary and stats appear in white (what I actually intended) when looking at works from a tag's page. BUT, for some reason, it appears in yellow on an author's page.)

(Overall, just keep in mind this is literally my first time trying to mess around with CSS *this* much.)

Other cool things I wanna point to because I am happy I managed to figure them out:

Links you haven't visited before show in white. Links you have visited before show in cyan.

When you hover on a tag, it gets highlighted in pink (as seen below:)

Despite it for some reason also affecting the text on an author's pages, I *am* happy I managed to figure out how to change the color for 'Find your favorites' and 'News' on the home screen. Because otherwise the default color was absolutely *unreadable* on the dark blue.

[gaelic-symphony]

A Year in the Life: April

Twelve vignettes from the married life of Tara Lewis and Emily Prentiss, written for the Year of the OTP writing challenge.

Prompt: pranks

Words: 895

Warnings: none

Read on AO3 or below the cut

            It started with a joy buzzer.  Tara taped it to Luke’s desk phone the night before April Fool’s Day.  She got into the office early the following morning and watched from the round table room, waiting for Luke to get in.  No sooner had he put his morning coffee cup down on his desk than Tara called him from her cell and laughed at the little yelp he let out when he picked up his phone.  He looked around the bullpen, and when he spotted Tara laughing at him up in the round table room, he smiled and shook his head.  It was game on.

            Luke got his revenge on her by stealing all the pens and pencils off her desk and replacing them with one giant novelty pencil.  Then Tara used her height to her advantage and taped a big picture of a grinning clown to the ceiling above Luke’s desk so that when he leaned back and stretched, he was so shocked he nearly fell out of his chair.  Over the next few weeks, the BAU bullpen became the battlefield for Tara and Luke’s prank war.  There were airhorns and taped computer mouses and faxes of joke police reports.  Tara switched around the sugar and salt right before Luke came in and made his morning coffee, and Luke filled Tara’s filing cabinet with helium balloons.

            Emily watched her wife’s antics unfold from her office up on the catwalk and pretended not to be entertained.  She’d sigh dramatically and shake her head and pinch the bridge of her nose as she admonished her agents for goofing off at work, but secretly, she was in no hurry to stop the pranks.  Seeing Tara enjoy herself like this made Emily’s heart glow, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t just a little bit tempted to join in on the fun.  But as the unit chief, she needed to maintain a certain level of decorum, and she couldn’t exactly jump in and start playing pranks on the team.  Besides, as entertaining as these hijinks were for the team to watch, the prank war had so far just stayed between Luke and Tara.

            But then Luke changed the rules, and when Tara got into the office one morning and turned on her computer, she blinked in surprise when her desktop background wasn’t her and Emily at Niagara Falls, but Luke and Penelope making goofy faces.  There was no way Luke had pulled that off on his own.  To change Tara’s desktop background remotely, he would have needed Penelope’s help.  And if Luke was going to bring his Girl Friday in on the shenanigans, then Tara was, too.

            “Emily…” she said, stretching out her name in a singsong voice as she curled up next to her wife on the couch one night, “You would tell me if you really wanted me to stop playing pranks on Luke, right?”

            “It’s all in good fun,” Emily shrugged, “With what we do, it’s good to have a laugh every now and then.”

            “So…it’s okay if I prank him again this week?”

            Emily turned and looked at her wife with a quizzical frown.  “You’ve never asked my permission to play a prank before.”

            “Yeah,” Tara said, “But this is gonna be a big one, and…I kind of need your help—if you’re up for it.”

            “Well, I guess one prank couldn’t hurt,” Emily said with feigned reluctance, but the smile on her face betrayed her bubbling excitement, “What did you have in mind?”

            They set their plan in motion that Friday.  Emily made sure everyone went home on time and took the evening off—no working late allowed.  As soon as the team had cleared out, she pulled several rolls of Christmas-themed wrapping paper out from under her desk and brought them down to the bullpen where Tara was waiting for her.

            “Let’s do this,” Emily said with a mischievous smile.

            They took all the objects off of Luke’s desk—not that there were all that many; he did travel light—and wrapped them up one by one: his stapler, his hand sanitizer, his framed pictures of Roxy and his abuelita.  And then they were ready for the big job: wrapping the desk itself.  It took an entire roll of Christmas tree paper and an awful lot of scotch tape, but with Emily’s masterful giftwrapping skills, they got the whole desk covered in paper with every corner neatly folded and taped.  Tara replaced all the little wrapped presents exactly as Luke had left them on his desk, and topped it off with a big bow and a gift tag that read “To Luke, with love from Tara and Emily.”  She stepped back from the desk and put her arm around Emily as they surveyed their work.

            “Looks good, doesn’t it?” Emily said.

            “You did a great job,” Tara nodded.

            “I’m glad you asked me to help,” Emily said, “Since I became chief, you know, I don’t really get to do all the fun team bonding stuff I used to do—you know, joking around with Morgan and Reid, goofing off behind Hotch’s back…I guess I kind of missed it.”

            “I’m glad I can bring out this side of you,” Tara replied.  She leaned in and kissed her wife tenderly.  “I promise to make sure you never miss out on the fun.”

[dark-falz]

Due to Tumblr's upcoming changes, it looks like they're going to continue updating the website to be more mobile based for both ends

I have a custom theme I put time into tweaking and I'm hoping to just leave as a dumpster fire of a tombstone to what once was when it's gone (as they will be taking this away eventually as well)

In order to see custom themes, on desktop, you need to click on user's portrait, then if there's a link with a globe next to it, click that. You can find every PSO sever you can play on as well as the one for PSU on my page (more similar to PSO2 imo)

Themes aren't easily viewable for mobile users and if you're gonna look into doing that I THINK you might as well look into emulating PSO on your phone :3 :3 :3

Anyway regardless I'd like to keep a way for users to have access to get the game, so I added a link to the largest active PSO server in my pinned post, before I'm unable to edit it since Tumblr will be removing the ability to do so eventually. But I need to know the above information to be mindful of adjustments in order to keep the ease of access to getting the versions of the game ❤️

[multifandomwhore-003]

"𝑩𝒆𝒋𝒆𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒅" 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝟗𝟎𝟎+ 𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

Sapphire tears on my face Sadness became my whole sky But some guy said my aura's moonstone Just 'cause he was high And we're dancin' all night And you can try to change my mind But you might have to wait in line What's a girl gonna do? A diamond's gotta shine

Welcome loves to my celebration, I hope y'all enjoy it! It begins right now and it will finish on April 15th so I hope you make the most out of it!

Here's everything you need to know:

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS BLOG IS FOR 18 OR OLDER, MINORS DNI!

General dynamics:

These are for all the characters that I write for, you can find the complete list on my navigation (bio link)

🎞 Moodboard: Send me this emoji along with the name of a person from my list, you can choose any theme or color as well!

🎶 Tracks: Send this emoji along with the name of a person from my list, you can choose whether if you want a play list or a song that reminds me of that character, pero and if you want you can even, set a mood or situation

🫧 Questions: Send me an emoji or a number from here & here. (Example: Question ___)

🪷Wallpapers: This might come as a shock to y'all but it became very therapeutic for me to make desktop and phone wallpapers so you can also request anything for me to make one with this emoji, here are some of the ones I've already made.

The Ethan Landry Dynamic:

For this man we'll have a full-on writing dynamic, here are the rules:

I only write x female! reader, because I identify as a female reader and I cannot and will not write the experience of male and non-binary readers, it’s not my place and I don’t wanna wrongfully represent them.

You can request headcanons, or blurbs, no imagines or miniseries

You can request from any genre (smut, fluff, and angst), just please put the genre.

You can request using this post with prompts, or songs, or random thoughts, or just using anything really.

You can request at any time of the day, and I'll prioritize this before anything else, I promise, I will write everything.

I really can't express now much y'all mean to me, I love you with all my heart and thank you for existing

Me to y'all:

[violynsolo]

seeing some of my arcanetwt friends confused by tumblr so here are 10 tips, hopefully i can explain them in a succinct way that is specifically relevant for you all!

follow blogs and tags to see posts! eventually tumblr will accurately recommend things you like and show them on your for you page/"try these posts" on the explore page but i usually just scroll my dash.

you can sort your dash by most recent or recommended, but unlike twitter you aren't going to see other people's likes or replies on your dash, just posts and reblogs.

people love getting asks! (as long as they're nice!) asks are basically built in curiouscat. you can turn anon off if you want or turn asks off altogether but they can be a good way to spark a conversation/discussion.

people treat tags kinda like qrts! most people will throw their personal opinions about a post in the tags, because unlike hashtags you can use spaces and some punctuation. i rarely put my thoughts in a reblog unless i feel like it adds to the content of the post in some way/continues the discussion. basically if you just want to share your opinions put them in the tags but if you definitely want ppl to see what you're saying put them in a rb (either way people can look through the notes to read all the tags too)

on that topic, once your post has been reblogged it CANNOT BE DELETED! you can delete the original post off your blog but any rb is essentially a copy. it's not gonna disappear like on twitter. you can edit your posts on tumblr, but rbs that happened before the edit will not change. (this is why you'll sometimes see a deactivated blog's addition in the reblogs of a post)

you can private your likes and following list! honestly i recommend doing this, i think a lot of unnecessary twitter drama comes from those features being public but on tumblr no one knows how many followers you have but you and you don't have to share who you follow either. (keep in mind that privating your likes only hides the likes page from your blog, it doesn't hide your like in the notes of a post)

tumblr's tagging system is actually pretty great (whenever the search function decides to work lmao), you can tag a post by #gif, #art, #video, etc. so you can search your blog for it later. unlike twitter tumblr is shit when it comes to searching specific phrases, like it just refuses to work and i have no idea why, so i recommend this!

while tags technically do show up like hashtags in site wide searches, people very commonly come up with tagging systems just for their blog, like ways to reference posts to find them later, this is not really how people use tags on twt but it's common and useful here.

you can queue posts! if you don't want to spam you can schedule a post to be sent out at a certain time, or just leave your queue to post them in intervals throughout the day. people usually come up with a personal tag for their queue (often a pun where the word "queue" is replacing something) so their followers know they aren't actually active and the post was scheduled.

finally, and oops this ended up being long, tumblr posts have a ton of formatting features that make them a lot more like blog posts, feel free to play around! for the people who are really into blog design you can also actually edit the html of your blog's desktop site and fully code the page how you want (or just pick a premade theme)

happy blogging and don't hesitate to ask me any questions!

[wildmelora]

Kiki!

[longlostzoldyck]

anything for daddy

pairing: nanami kento x f!reader

wc: 2.8 words, minors dni (sexual themes 18+)

warnings/tags: smut, daddy kink, so much dirty talk, oral (m&f receiving), unprotected sex (don't do it, please protect your privates), excessive use of pet names, choking, doggy, fingering

summary: nanami needs to work, but you are just intent on stealing his attention tonight no matter what it takes

kento drove you crazy some times. one of the things you loved about him the most was his hard working nature, but this same quality drove you nuts when all you wanted was some quality time with your boyfriend and all he could think about was balancing excel sheets.

this was the fourth night in a row where he brought work home. the first two times, you let him work, bringing him some tea before you went to bed alone. the third time you tried to coax him out of it to no avail, and this time you didn't intend on giving up. he deserved a break and you intended to give it to him.

he was hard at work in his study, eyes glued to his computer. he had taken his dinner in there, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before disappearing into his work. you finished your plate before setting your plan into action. you changed from your regular pajamas to one of nanami's favorite sets of lingerie on you. the intricate white lace hugged your soft skin and tits so beautifully that he lost his mind every time he saw it on you.

you rubbed some fragranced oils down your body then hiding kento's present under your regular silk robe. you finally made your way back to the kitchen preparing his cup of tea. you would normally prepare it before going to bed, but you didn't want to wait that long. once the hot tea was ready, you took the tea cup with you down the hallway and stopping before kento's study. you gently knocked on the door before allowing yourself inside.

he was just as how you expected it: surrounded in folders and papers and quickly typing away on his computer. he didn't even turn upon your entrance simply continuing whatever he was doing. you left the tea cup on his desk then softly running your fingers along his shoulders and back.

"thank you, darling," his flicked back to his computer quickly seemingly not noticing that you had dolled yourself up slightly more than usual for him. he shifted his eyes to the clock on the corner of his desktop. "isn't it a bit early for you to be going to bed?"

"well, it seems like i've lost my boyfriend for the evening again," you responded.

"i'm sorry, y/n," he finally stopped working and met your gaze for more than a few seconds. "i wish i could spend my entire day with you, but i've been slammed at work lately."

"i know, ken," you soothed him softly lowering yourself on to his lap and lacing your fingers around the back of his neck. "but you've been working so hard and you deserve a break," you let your words drip out like honey shifting your eyes to his lips, lips which you were just dying to kiss and leave all swollen from your affection. "i just want to make my daddy feel good," you said breathe hitching when he pulled you in for a feverish kiss. hearing his title pushed him over the edge needing to feel your soft lips against his.

you melted into his kiss feeling his tongue easily push past your lips and explore your mouth. he was just as in need of feeling your body and affections, but he was holding himself back. you pulled away from your kiss needing to catch your breathe and climbing off his lap. he turned his seat towards you seeing you start to untie your robe.

"what do you have under there for me, darling?," he asked and you let the robe slip off your shoulders and to the floor. he groaned when he recognized the lingerie on your body. if there was any doubt he needed you before, there was no doubt he was gonna ravish you tonight. you took your rightful place on his lap once again and wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him towards you until you could feel your breaths mixing together.

"my darling angel descending from the heavens," his sweet words were followed by a needy kiss. he wrapped his arms around your waist pushing you farther into his lap and making you feel his growing erection under you. you rolled your hips occasionally as you two continued to make out and he groaned into your lips. "angel, do you want to suck daddy's cock until he feels better?"

"yes, daddy," you happily responded. you pulled away from your kiss then climbing off his lap and sinking to your knees in front of him. he proudly watched as you palmed him through his slacks. you were already shorter than him but when you were on your knees like this he became keenly aware of just how small you were in comparison. your swift fingers undid his belt then opening his pants. you paused for a moment staring at his cock dying to burst out of his pants. he reached down closing your mouth softly before you found yourself literally drooling over his cock.

"angel, don't keep daddy waiting please," you focused your attention back to what you were supposed to be doing and lowered his pants and briefs slightly then pulling his glorious cock out of its confines.

you quickly brought him into your moth already getting wet from hearing how he groaned at the contact. kento tended to be quiet keeping his moans and groans suppressed except for a few so the few that managed to escape always left you reeling. you swirled your tongue around his fat cock already tasting his salty precum which only pushed you to take more and more of him.

you hollowed your cheeks as you took more of him into your mouth and then down your throat. kento's hands immediately found themselves on your head pushing you down softly to take more and more of him. tears began to pool in your ears as you struggled to take his length.

"oh angel, you look so gorgeous. just taking my cock so well," he cooed finally taking a proper hold of your hair to start fucking your mouth. "such a good girl letting daddy fuck your mouth like this." you flicked your eyes up to meet his only to see that he was already looking at you take his cock. "just like that angel, just wanna look at you while i cum down your throat."

he didn't last much long after that cumming so hard it hit you in the back of the throat. you took as much of his cum as you could but some still spilled out of the corners of your mouth. he pulled you off his dick as he recovered from his orgasm. his head was simply thrown back in his seat looking at the ceiling. he flicked his eyes back down to you leaning down to push the cum that had spilled out of your lips back into your mouth.

"don't want to waste any of it, do we?," you nodded sucking on his thumb briefly before he pulled it out of your mouth with a pop. "lay back on the desk, angel."

you clenched your thighs at the command, immediately standing and sitting back on his desk. you laid back on his desk and now waited for his next move. he softly split your thighs apart then pressing soft kisses up the inside towards your cunt.

"so pretty for me, baby," he sighed into your plump thighs. he already adored your thighs, constantly finding excuses to squeeze or grope them even if you were in public. eating you out with your thighs around his head however was absolute bliss. the way you squeezed his head when he'd suck on your clit? heaven to him.

"daddy, please...," you moaned holding on to the edge of the desk needing to feel more of him. his kissing, licking, and nipping was just torturous at this point.

"oh, angel...," he cooed sitting up properly. you gasped when you felt his thumb rubbing your clit over your underwear. you were already dripping, but now there was even a wet patch forming under his thumb. "already falling apart for me, aren't you?"

you nodded unable to respond with your words. he smiled then wrapping his fingers around the straps on your waist and hips. you awaited with baited breathe for him to pull down your underwear, but were surprised when he didn't.

"oh, baby, you look so pretty i can't help stare," he leaned up pressing kisses along the band where your underwear started before finally pulling it down and leaving your lower half exposed. you felt a slight shudder go up your body at the feeling of being left so exposed. he wrapped his hands around your thighs and sucking your clit into his mouth.

your body shot up unable to stay still, but he easily held your hips down. he was sucking and swirling your clit in the most obsene way. you couldn't stop moaning and mewling at how good he was making you feel. you tied your fingers into his short blonde hair holding him closer to your pussy and rubbing his scalp.

"daddy," you moaned out for him and he substituted his tongue with his thumb rubbing your clit harshly while he dived straight into your gaping hole lapping up your juices and licking your lips.

"tell me what you need, darling," he said against your lips still rubbing your clit.

"your fingers, daddy, please... i need your fingers," you practically begged him.

"how could daddy say no to his sweet angel?, he said then substituting his tongue with two of his fingers pumping them into you slowly. you lolled your head to the side becoming overwhelmed with pleasure. you could only feel yourself get closer and closer when you saw how he was just staring at your pussy suck in his fingers. he found your rough spot then hooking his fingers to stroke the spot every single time until you were cumming on his fingers.

he rode out your orgasm before gently pulling his fingers out of your pussy. he plopped his fingers in his mouth wanting another taste of your sweet pussy. he allowed you to recover for a second lightly running his fingers up and down your thighs. he turned and took a sip of the tea you had left for him. you sat up on your elbows simply watching him.

you were convinced that nanami kento was the perfect man. dangerously attractive, a traditional romantic, intelligent to a degree you didn't understand, and a god in sex. just standing in front of you in his disheveled work clothes, drinking some tea all you could think about was swallowing his cock while he finished his drink.

"see something you like, angel?," he teased noticing your intense stare.

"just thinking about your cock down my throat," you said sweetly before climbing off the desk. you turned around and offered your plump little ass to him with a wicked smile. "see something you like, daddy?," you teased him with his same words and a sly smile. he set down his cup before making his way to you.

he unclipped your bra then peeling the cups off your tits sucking on each nipple momentarily before throwing your bra to the floor with your long forgotten underwear. he finally pressed his naked chest against your back then wrapping an arm across your body and up to your face. he turned your face kissing you until you were left breathless. he wrapped his other arm around your hips pressing your ass further against his growing cock while he devoured your lips.

you let him take control wanting him to just let go all his frustrations from work on you. his hands roamed down to your exposed breasts tugging on your nipples until they were hard. you struggled to fight back against your moans as he did as he pleased with you body. you needed him inside you so badly your pussy was clenching around nothing needing to feel some kind of friction, but kento continued the assault on your chest.

"daddy," you moaned lowly against his lips.

"i know, angel. i know. you've been so patient i'll make sure to reward you," he said against your lips leaving one final kiss. your breathe hitched in your throat when you felt his cockhead kissing your folds. one of his hands remained on your hip and he used the other to push his cock into your tight pussy.

"oh, daddy, so good...,"you moaned loudly feeling him stretch you out so deliciously. he reached for your thigh setting it up on the desk and slowly slinking in inch by inch. you tried to push back into him from time to time, but he kept an iron grip on your hip going so slow that you could feel every vein and pore on his cock. you were so stupidly wet and tight that kento was losing his mind. had you gotten tighter in the last week since you had sex?

"so tight for daddy, angel," he groaned as he bottomed out inside of you staying still for a moment to allow you to adjust to his size. despite the years together you never got used to his sheer size and stretch. once you got use to his stretch you started pushing back into his cock. he pulled his cock out to the tip and then slammed it back in to you settling a slow but brutal pace.

you took his thrusts jolting in his arms every time your clit grazed the rough wood of the desk. you eventually got accustomed to his powerful strokes pushing back to try to take more and more of him.

"daddy, fuc-fuck me harder," you begged in between moans meeting him halfway thrusting your hips back into his. he pushed against your lower back pushing you flush against the desk. his hands took hold of your hips and you gasped when you felt him ram his cock inside of you.

kento's stamina always blew your mind, but right now you couldn't believe the sheer strength of his thrusts inside of you. every time he would stuff his cock back inside you you'd just be left a screaming and moaning mess as you felt every single vein down his cock.

"so... so...," you tried to get your words together but were overcome in pure pleasure when he nudged your sweet spot. "daddy, fuck, fuck...," you mewled reaching back for him. you didn't even know what you were asking for, but he easily pulled you flush against his chest still pumping inside you.

"what is it darling?," he said into your skin then licking up your neck. you let out an obscene moan squeezing him involuntarily. "who's making you feel this good?"

"you are daddy," you moaned as he tightened the hand on your neck. you moaned at the pressure struggling in his grip so close to getting off.

"does my angel want to cum?," he asked against the shell of your ear. you could only nod as he squeezed your windpipe. "go ahead angel, daddy's right behind you."

he pressed his thumb against your clit and you came instantly. he came right after you coating your spent walls with his cum. he fucked you both through your orgasm leaving you drooling from the pure pleasure. he eventually pulled out his cock drawing out a sharp wince from you, but he soothed you in his arms. you turned around in his grip wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a tender kiss. he pulled you back into his arms, running his fingers down your back softly simply savoring the moment.

"im sorry about work," you whispered against his skin as you pressed soft kisses to his jaw.

"no, you're not," he countered which simply made you laugh because he was right. the truth is that you could never regret sex with him. "i needed a break."

"i will happily sacrifice myself to be your break," you teased bringing him for one another kiss before looking around to find your clothes.

you wrapped your robe around your body as nanami also collected himself before having to continue working. you finally found your panties noticing nanami had torn one of the straps on the side making your heart sink.

"ken, we tore your favorite,"you showed him the torn lace and he simply sighed.

"i'll just have to buy you a new one when i get promoted," he decided which made you laugh slightly.

"thank you, daddy," you teased kissing his cheek on your way towards the door. you grabbed his now empty tea cup too on the way.

"oh and darling," he called for you softly causing you to stop and turn back to face him. "next time you want to distract me you can wear those stocking you bought for christmas."

"anything for you, daddy," you said with a sly smile then turning to leave him to finish his work. you smiled at the thought of a next time already. your next concern was: where were those stockings?

[mvttsvn]

Useless [pt1]

Modern college!au

toxic Eren x gn!reader

warnings: angst, explicit themes, dubcon, embarrassment, manipulation, degradation, OOC, cussing, and typos

authors note: this has been sittin in my drafts for months I just haven’t had the motivation to finish. there will be a part 2 with smut I just wanted to get this out first.

part 2

Eren liked to think he was a pretty simple guy. He’d meet someone, use them for his benefit, lead them on till he didn’t need them anymore, then disappear. A sick trick that he used to manipulate all kinds of people. Life really can be easy with the right looks and a smooth voice. He and only ever got what he needed. He understands how selfish it is. But gotten him this far, so what would be the point in changing. 

Unfortunately, you had been one of the unlucky few to get caught up in his schemes. Let’s be honest it wasn’t a surprise, you knew of him before. A few of your friends pinned over him for being the cute nicotine-addicted guy who couldn’t care less about World Literature 1-2. But you believed each and everyone of of his sweet little promises. “No you’re so special, I think I’m gonna keep you around for a long time sweetheart.” Deception dripping from his lips as he gave you a sinful grin.

You should’ve known...

It’s been a few months now since Eren blocked and deleted your number for his phone, the last time you spoke was when he texted you to thank you for helping him pass his English final. You replied with asking if he wanted to get lunch the following day only to be left with your text never going through. That motherfucker. Of course you were angry, mostly at yourself though. You tried not to sulk about it yet every time you’d go out you’d dress up a little then you would usually just in case you’d see him. And luckily he wasn’t in any of your classes this semester either so it would be easier to forget him.

At this point you haven’t thought of Eren in weeks, you’ve focused yourself in uni and started taking assignments and things more seriously. That was until one of Eren’s roommates unknowingly took a seat next to you in your intro to ethics course.

You’ve been to Eren’s apartment a multitude of times. You knew who his roommates were, even after having a few conversations in the late morning with them after you would spend the night. Armin, who was too engrossed from whatever was on his phone plopped his books right next to you and took a seat not sparing you a glance. Once you professor started speaking he locked his phone slipping it into his pocket and glance around the room. Once he looked at you his blue eye widened and he sorta whispered “oh hey! y/n didn’t know you were in here”

You shrugged and gave a polite smile while turning back to look at the front of the room to stare through one of the windows above the projector screen. It’s not like you hated Armin, he was very kind and never judged you when you’d take the walk of shame in the morning through Eren’s kitchen, it’s just you know that this interaction would eventually lead back to him and that made you nervous.

A week or two passed and Armin continued to sit next you, you supposed it was more comfortable for him because it didn’t look like he knew anyone else in this class, neither did you. Nor were you complaining he’d give you notes and lend you his book when you would forget. Not much conversation would happen between you either, a simple hello and other small talk would occur nothing more. A very professional relationship.

Yet when your professor assigned a partner projects you and Armin both looked at each other like :| and silently agreed to work together. It was just easier that way. The assignment wasn’t due for another 2 weeks so you had confidence that you wouldn’t have to grind at the end of the this week to do it. Until Armin caught your arm as you were leaving.

“Hey sorry to ask but would it be ok if we could work on this after school? I have a lot of stuff due this week and I’m in a bit of a time crunch.” He shyly laughed hoping you weren’t busy.

You held in a sigh “Uhh sure, can I meet you at 5 tho..I have a thing-”.

“Yeah! That’d be fine, my place?”

You kinda really didn’t want to go to his place, “yea!”

You both continued listening to your teacher’s lecture while your mind was elsewhere, you didn’t have anything after school you just wanted to go home for a bit and prepare for who you may or may not see at Eren’s Armins apartment. By the end of the day you raced home, flopping onto your bed, this was a bad idea, why didn’t you just ask for him to meet at the library or something?? This situation could’ve been a whole lot simpler if you just offered your place instead. Hell you don’t have any unconventional roommates you sleep with him so it’s just unfair. At 4:45 you gather your things and drove over to Armin’s apartment. You knocked on the door, your nerves going haywire.

You’re greeted by Armin he smiled and opened the door for you letting you walk inside. You took a glance to the side and luckily Eren’s familiar beat up tennis shoes weren’t by the door. At least you could relax for a little while, hopefully he wouldn’t come home till you were gone.

Jean was sitting on the couch watching some action movie at a low volume with Connie who was fast asleep curled up with a throw pillow. The lights in the living room were dim with the curtains on the windows shut. Yet you could still see from the light in the kitchen that shone from above the counter. Jean gave you a nod, “welcome back” he half whispered as he tipped his drink at you. You smiled and waved and made your way into Armin’s room. You sat at the edge of his desk in a borrowed kitchen chair, as he joined you sitting in his computer chair in front of his desktop. He left his door slightly ajar letting you see right through into the kitchen and front door, which made you slightly on edge. Armin started going over the project, opening a document, and reading through a few paragraphs. You tried your best you to concentrate but you were too paranoid. Every so often a loud noise from Jean’s movie on the tv would make you whip your head towards the door. About an hour in you and Armin had crunched through about a few paragraphs and of your project, to Armin’s mistake you guys definitely weren’t going to finish tonight. Hopefully the next time you’d offer your place instead.

After another 30 minutes you and Armin gave up, eventually you guys made your way back into the living room. You went to the door to gather your things until Jean and Connie basically begged you to stay and watch another movie with them. You didn’t want to, you knew if you stayed any longer the possibility of Eren coming home would increase. But when Connie got up from the couch and handed you a drink, you gave in. As you sat down you began slightly regretting your decision. Why were you staying? You and Armin were finished you can go home.

You asked yourself this when you heard keys jangle outside the door and the click of the lock. It’s roughly pushed open and Eren moves into the room, swiftly locking it behind him. “Hey man” Jean calls, you immediately tense next to Armin and fix a stare at the tv. You’re too aware of your surroundings right now to know what happening but you need a distraction. You can see his movement in your peripheral, Eren saunters in to the dark living room to stand by the opposite of the end of the couch from you. when he spots you,  you can feel his blazing stare in your skull, he laughs out a scoff and the room goes silent, except for the low murmur of the tv. 

The air is tense and awkward and everybody can see your apprehension. your heart it beating in your ears and you can feel you palms starting to sweat. The sounds of the tv are immediately drowned out when Eren breathes our your name. “What the hell are you doing here?” He grips the arm of the couch and places his left hand on his hip. You slowly turn your head to look him in the eyes when Armin speaks up trying to lighten the situation “We had a project for sadis’ class” 

Your eyes dart between Eren and Armin when Eren snides, “hmm...well it doesn’t look like your working on it” 

“hey layoff man” Jean gives him a side eye. “Yeah we finished just a few minutes ago.” Armin adds. 

“It was just a question” Eren shrugs. You can believe him, he such a fucking asshole, you’re staring at him in disbelief when he meets your eyes again he laughs “what did you miss me or somethin?” His grin is sickening, you feel the embarrassment hot on your face yet what can you do in the situation? If you leave you’ll destroy your pride and yet if you stay what if you give in to him again?

Your frozen in your seat you nails digging shapes into you palms as you clench them together. You feel the stare of everyone one in the room and it makes you want to cry. He tilts his head “can’t you speak? what wrong?” the malice in his voice makes your ears burn. You want to scream, you want to run, but he slowly walks right in front of you and holds out his hand. “C’mon”

You can leave at any moment, the door is only a few feet away yet you cautiously place your palm into his as he hauls you up from your seat. No one says anything as you guys leave the room, what a complicated situation this is huh? 

As he opens his door you try to glace back at the others yet he roughly pulls your arm though and slams his bedroom door. You hope they don’t blame you too much for going with him. You stand in the middle of a very familiar room, one you’ve visited many times yet you’re too scared too move from the spot you currently occupy. He turns to face you locking the door behind him and takes a few steps forward. You look at the floor as you begin speaking “Eren I-” 

“ohhhh so you can talk?” 

“yes’ you puff. 

He fits his hand under your chin proceeding to squish your cheeks to face him. “I don’t like you hanging out with them when I’m not around” his hot breath fan your face and you widen your eyes. The audacity. “What do you mean, were not even together anymo-” you voice smothered by his grip. 

He tips his head back and see concern in his eyes, its almost like he was hurt by your words, “Yes we are” his eyebrows scrunched together. You go to spit out another sentence when his hand moves to cover you entire mouth, he brings face to your ear, “You wound me y/n, how could you think that? I thought you loved me?” Why does he sounds so genuine? Your mind is fuzzy with confusion, of course he’s lying, you would never in a million years utter those words to him during the short time you were together. Yet the pain in his voice and the grip on your jaw is making you dizzy, his hot breath on your ear and neck are causing goosebumps to raise on your skin.

 Your smaller hand goes to grip his forearm that's holding your face. He moved to look into your eyes. The dim light from the lamp in the far corner of the room casts a shadow upon his face, yet his deep green eyes seem to glow. He slowly moves his hand away placing it on your shoulder as his free hand moves to your hip. You want to yell at him, ask his why he’s doing this to you, but you place your palm softly onto his chest and drop your head in shame, “I’m sorry..i..I didn’t know” you whispered.

His warm hand goes to caress your cheek and moves into your hair lightly pulling to make you face him. “It’s ok babe, you just have to make it up to me” his chest rumbles underneath your hands as you eye widen. “You can do that, right?” You slowly nod your head and bunch his t-shirt under your fingers. He places a soft kiss on your forehead and lead you towards his bed in the corner of the room. He takes a seat on his dark blue comforter and your stand in front of him. Your hands lightly holding onto his index fingers as he carefully rocks them back and forth.  You take another look at his face and see the artificial softness slowly fade away into something dark, and conspiring.

“On your knees babe” his voice sounding rougher than before. You begin another protest but he takes his warm palms and encircles your waist to urge you down. You slowly fall to your knees, your hands on his thighs while digging your nails into his rough jeans. Your mind slowly starts to unfog and start realizing what your doing. Your shame and regret tug at your heart and you feel the tears begin to prick your eyes. You look up at Eren and see the distain in his eyes. He hums and caresses you shoulder. You wept into your chest as you feel the air being stolen from your lungs Eren moves his calloused hand to your throat and tugs to make you look him in the eyes.

Why did you have to be so damn proud?

[cosmicloved]

ooookay...i decided to try and play around with the new popup display & made a quick little mobile banner. i’m not using it now bc it didn’t really work the way i wanted, both bc it was rushed and bc the new display. kinda sucks. it’s needlessly complicated. and it fucking sucks. i will explain. (also, i’ll be referring to the popup display as ‘peeplr’ from hereon out bc, apparently, that’s the official name and it’s easier than trying to describe things)

what i said the other day about the banner container being a 3:1 ratio seems to hold true but you can’t make the graphic according to that ratio. the peeplr WILL ruin it. when i tried to upload a graphic in those dimensions, the stretched version zoomed in REAL close. the non-stretched version was...uh...stretched. or, rather, it was squashed too thin.

this specifically led me to realisation that the banner graphic itself still has to fit the original peeplr dimensions (or taller; if the graphic isn’t tall enough, it gets distorted). this makes sense bc this is STILL how the graphics display on the hover version of the peeplr and, as far as i can tell, on mobile as well.

what this means is that tumblr has changed the size of the container and absolutely nothing the fuck else. they didn’t recode anything to fit with their changes. but it gets even more needlessly confusing. the new peeplr banner container is just a cropped version of the original BUT it crops in the centre.

so, if you want your graphic to look good on desktop, you have to take that into account. the easiest way to do this would probably be to make sure you have gutters/borders on the top and bottom of the graphic or just make the graphic the full size & plan for the awkward crop. just keep in mind, if you go with the gutter/border option, that’s gonna show up on mobile & hover.

idk maybe this isn’t THAT complicated but it certainly feels clunkier than it needs to be. it’s really baffling to me that the official post for this update said ‘a bold, vibrant, and creative tumblr is a tumblr at its best’ -- y’know, suggesting they’re very pro-customisation (and to their credit, the fact themes still exist means they are better on this front than most sites these days) -- and then updated this in a manner that just makes it very awkward to navigate if you want to do anything more specific than throwing in a random photo you think is pretty. anyway, i don’t usually care that much about random tumblr updates bc, at this point, i’m used to it but...this one’s annoying. i don’t like this one. maybe if it didn’t require me having to rethink my whole editing process, it wouldn’t bother me as much but. i still think it sucks!

[miss-noo-na]

Strange Love (Part 2)

Featuring: Johnny (NCT) x Reader

Rating: Mature. Future updates to include BDSM themes

Summary: On your first trip out of town, you learn more than you bargained for about your co-worker’s personal life.

The weeks had gone by as usual, not much had changed leading up to your first assignment, save for the occasional meeting with the boss. That, and ever since he had told you to call him Johnny the name was now cemented into your head despite your efforts to remain impersonal.

Your first job was some dinky small town in Nebraska, and your boss had warned you most of these locations would be as such. They didn’t have the resources to acquire their own people, which is where you came in.

“It’s not gonna be luxurious, but you’re gonna leave feeling like you really accomplished something.” He assured you with a smile. Easy for him to say, from his swanky office in the big city.

As logistics would have it, you flew out separately and planned to meet at the hotel. When you got there, you took an Uber to the location and thought at first it might be a mistake. This was most definitely a Motel, the kind with outside hallways you saw on the side of the road.

“Are you sure this is it?” You asked the driver, looking over the address again.

“This is what you gave me.” He shrugged.

You had at least expected a Holiday Inn, or somewhere it didn't look like people checked in only never to be seen again.  You sucked it up and went to the front desk, where at the very least nothing looked broken down or dirty. Just….dated.

You were on the ground floor, right around the corner from the vending machines, as the clerk had told you with a smile. You opened the door with your keycard and you were greeted by two beds in the middle of the room, separated by a nightstand with a single lamp. They faced an old TV and the door to the bathroom.

There was a table by the window that you could do your work from and you dropped your bag in the chair in the corner. You did a quick sweep of the room, looking for anything out of place, and checked the mattress for bed bugs to be safe. It wasn’t the Ritz, but it would serve its purpose.

You sat on the end of one of the beds, idling through your phone, waiting for a text from your new business partner. It came a few moments later when he informed you he was checking in.

10 minutes later the door handle jiggled and your head shot up in its direction, your heart jumping into your throat thinking someone was trying to break in. Instead, the door swung up and Johnny stood there. He paused before entering and you stared at each other like two deers caught in headlights.

“What are you doing here.”

“This is the room he told me to come to.”

“That’s impossible, this is my room.”

Johnny stepped it and the heavy door shut behind him. He dropped his bags at his feet and extended the hand still holding his key card. You snatched it out of his hand and looked at the number written on the sleeve in marker.

“This can’t be right.”

“I’ll call the boss.”

A few minutes later Johnny was pacing the space in front of the beds, trying to get through on the managers personal line, and you nervously chewed your nails while still in your spot at the end of the bed.

“Shit.” He cursed under his breath, hanging up after another failed attempt.

“I don’t want to sound ungrateful,” You started, looking up at him. “But even without the same room debacle, this place is less than ideal.”

“Yeah, as much money as they’re pulling in you would think they could splurge on a Super 8.” He half-joked, then noticed his phone was buzzing. He waved it at you before answering.

“Hey, Steven, yeah-” He stopped, cut off by the other man. You realized he called him by his first name and had to suppress an eye-roll.

“”Oh uh, it’s….fine. Listen, it looks like we’re in the same room and I’m wondering if there was some kind of mi- oh. Oh I see. No, no, it’s fine I totally get it.”

Your stomach sank at his tone.

“We can totally work with that, no problem. Have a good week, bye-bye.”

He hung up and sighed before turning toward you.

“So it's not a mix-up.”

“What?” You responded, feeling rage building.

“Apparently they didn’t have the budget for this project they thought they did. They’re still working on it, and this is all they could swing on short notice.”

You buried your face in your hand for a second, collecting your thoughts. “They didn’t think to mention this to us?”

“Yeah, not great planning on their part.”

The only consolation to this situation is that there were two beds. However, having to sleep, live, and work in this room with a man for the next week made you uneasy. You didn’t know him that well.

Johnny was studying your face in that moment, and then he looked around as if he was searching for something. He went and grabbed his bags and moved them next to the bed you sat at.

“You can have the bed by the wall, I’ll sleep by the door if that makes you feel better.” He nodded. You blinked up at him and realized what he was saying, then nodded and grabbed your things, moving them to the other bed. You did feel more secure over here, and felt a little endeared to him in that moment.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. We can set up our stuff here.” He gestured to the table that had a chair on each side. He started to take out his things and organize them on one side. You were thankful he was taking this in stride and meeting you halfway on it, which you had to admit you didn’t entirely expect. He was more mature than you gave him credit for.

You followed suit with getting your laptop out and set up across from him, though there wasn’t much distance between the two of you. You both sat down to get some pre-emptive notes done before you met with the team tomorrow. You worked into the evening, barely registering the sun setting until he closed his laptop and stretched.

“Do you want to get dinner?”

You glanced toward the window. “I guess we should.”

He had picked up the rental car at the airport, and you took it to the nearest restaurant, a dingy little diner down the street. The lighting was yellow and the booths were cramped but it gave off a homely feel you kind of enjoyed.

“Are you still bothered about the room?” He asked suddenly. You had already ordered and had sat in silence since you came in.

“Not really, why?”

He half-smiled, almost to himself as he shifted in his seat. “You’ve been tense since I got here.”

You blinked for a moment, “And how do you know that?”

“Your shoulders are pulled up and you keep fidgeting. I’m good at reading people’s body language, and I can just tell you haven’t taken a full breath all day. It’s not good for you, you know.”

He cast his eyes aside and took a drink after he spoke, and what he said just made your muscles seize up more. You suppressed the urge to get snappy.

“I’m naturally high-strung.” You said honestly, even if he didn’t need to know it.

“I can tell.” He chuckled. “There’s nothing to be nervous about, we’re gonna have a great day tomorrow.” He said in a strangely reassuring tone.

Your food came then and you fell back into silence, your mind wandering over thoughts about why he was reading your body language so acutely.

The greasy comfort food was just what you needed after the day you’d had and you split the bill with the company cards you were given. Back in the car, he told you he had to run to the nearest printing store to pick up the packets you were handing out tomorrow.

“You wanna go over my notes for me while I’m out? Let me know if I missed anything.” He asked, and you agreed before he let you off back at the motel and took off.

Back in the room, you took a seat at his laptop and were met with his desktop, the notes closed out. You sighed and grumbled to yourself as you opened up the files and tried to find the notes. His folders were a mess, all named with random codes and abbreviations probably only he could decipher. You clicked through countless nonsense files and folders filled with other types of work jargon that had nothing to do with the current project.

You clicked into one folder near the bottom that was filled with photos, and went to click away when something caught your eye.

You couldn’t quite tell from the thumbnails what was going on, but it looked interesting. They were high quality, almost like a professional photoshoot, and there was only ever one or two subjects in each photo. Before you could think the better of it, you double-clicked one purely out of curiosity, and when the image came into full view you drew in a sharp, surprised breath.

It was a room, dark save for windows in the background that looked out to a blurry night skyline. The focus was on a woman on her knees, mostly nude, her arms secured behind her back with ropes that stretched across her chest, stomach, and thighs. She was leaning forward, and her chin was held delicately in the hands of a man sitting in front of her. He had one arm resting on his knee, dressed in slacks and a button down shirt and tie, the other cradling the woman’s face as he looked into her eyes. You could see distinctive red marks across her skin, from her butt and across her thighs.

The man was your co-worker. The one coming back into this room any second now.

Your cheeks burned red hot as you reached up and slammed the laptop shut without thinking. You shot up from your seat and grabbed your bag, marching out of the hotel room to the vending machines, trying to get your breathing back to normal.

You stared at the list of drinks as your thoughts raced. You could conceptualize what was going on in the photos, you weren’t stupid, but putting it together with the man you just had dinner with was making you feel flush and nervous.

You dug into your bag for some spare change and got yourself a can of soda, cracking it open right there and chugging it, letting the bubbles burn down your throat and quell your nerves. You took a deep breath before you went back to the room.

When you opened the door, Johnny was leaning over the chair, looking at his opened laptop, and the photo was still open.

“Oh God, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I was-”

He looked up at you, babbling away as you fidgeted with your bag and almost squeezed the can in your hand in half.

“I see you didn’t find the notes.” He said humorously, as he stood up. You had expected him to be upset, angry, or embarrassed. Instead, he had his same relaxed stance as always, and a slight smirk on his face.

“If you were curious, you could have just asked me.”

Your eyes went wide and you shook your head hard. “I was just looking for the notes, I swear.”

He laughed as he took a couple steps to close the gap between you, and gently laid his hands on your biceps for a moment. He had never stood this close before, his shadow almost dwarfed you.

“Relax, it’s okay.”

“Sorry...again, I wasn’t snooping.” You tried to assure him with a shaky breath.

He could feel you tremble under his hands and he smiled. “It’s not a big deal, yeah?”

You nodded, and he dropped his arms and went back to the table. He closed out the folder and tabbed up the notes. “Here they are.”

You blinked, a rush of emotions dissipating from your body. You felt mortified, worried, and intrigued all at the same time. His reaction, his gentle voice, and his touch further complicated those feelings.

You went to sit down and look over the notes. At first you could barely concentrate on the words, but after a few seconds of letting your heart-rate get back to normal, you began to focus on the task and found it helped get your mind off what had just happened. However, you had almost forgotten that Johnny was standing behind you, watching you go over them.

Suddenly you felt his presence at your back, as he leaned over your shoulder and pointed at the screen. You almost jumped out of your skin.

“Do you think this needs more detail?” He asked, and his voice was way too close to your left ear. You shivered but tried to play it off.

“Uhm,” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “More details wouldn’t hurt.”

“Great, I’ll do that now.” He said as he stood back up, and you moved out of his chair so he could sit down.

“I’ll finish these up and print us some copies in the morning.” He threw you a pleasant smile before he started typing away.

You both finished up for the night and he offered you the bathroom first. In the shower you had time to process the day and knocked your fist against your forehead, not only for letting yourself see what you had seen, but for letting it affect you like this. He was an adult with an adult life outside of work, it really shouldn’t have bothered you like this.

But bother wasn’t the right word and you knew that, and you got angry with yourself for what it really did. You were curious, and more importantly, you were turned on.

You grinded your teeth together in an attempt to will the thoughts out of your mind, chalking it up to a lack of physical affection lately. Besides, since when had any of that interested you? You didn’t experiment much, there was never any attempts at tying up or inflicting pain with past partners. The most you had done involved toys and maybe a blindfold, but nothing to the extent with which you saw in the photos. So why did your mind keep going back to those stark, red welts on her bare skin? What was the appeal?

You finished up in the bathroom and went straight to your bed, avoiding eye contact and turning toward the wall. Luckily you were exhausted and fell asleep without much fuss, even if that moment still lingered in your mind.

The next day most of the anxiety had worn off and you were able to conduct yourself normally, especially since you were preoccupied with other things. You brought your materials to the office, an old building probably built in the 70’s with fluorescent lighting and small rooms. The staff were friendly and happy to have you, and you found that you and Johnny worked well together. For two people who had no reason to get along, you bounced off one another as you gave your presentation and were able to avoid stepping on each other's toes. Then you went to work, each of you tackling a set of departments and getting them started on their new updates.

It wasn’t always smooth sailing, you were on your feet for the whole day and with any sort of transition there were bugs in the system or things that didn’t go as planned. You dealt with it as it came, but could feel the tension building up in your neck and shoulders, the stress collecting in your body and making your muscles tight and your head a bit fuzzy. This added with the nerves of doing something new made you both drained and wired by the time the two of you left the office.

You agreed after your first day that you deserved a drink, both to celebrate the success of getting through it and starting off strong, and as a way to ease the stress of the day. You found a small restaurant with a bar and had dinner, followed by said beverages. It may not be the healthiest coping mechanism, but the white wine you were sipping was doing the trick.

“Look at us, getting along.” Johnny half smiled at you, and you let out a small laugh.

“We work surprisingly well together.” You nodded.

“Are you kidding? We were the dream team in there. I wouldn’t be surprised if it took us less than a week to get them set up.”

“Lets not get ahead of ourselves.” You laughed again, and fell back into a comfortable silence.

Alcohol was always tricky with you, dredging up the things you wanted to keep hidden. Your mind flashed to that photo again and you wanted to squash it down, but the curiosity was killing you. You were off the clock now, and he had proven he was a pretty chill guy. Would it hurt to ask?

“Can I ask you a personal question?” You said as you felt the wine warm you up inside and make the words flow with less effort from your mouth.

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have to answer if it’s too nosey.”

“Try me.”

“You know the uh...thing, that I saw?” You looked at anything but him as you took another sip.

“I do.” He said slowly, and you caught his face from the corner of your eye. He might have been smirking again.

“I don’t even know how to ask this.” Your eyes darted around some more and you fidgeted in place. “Just, what was that all about?”

He laughed, a deep sound from his chest that made your ears tingle.

“It’s just something I enjoy doing in my personal time.” He shrugged casually.

“What, the photoshoot?”

“That was just a way of documenting it.”

“Documenting what?”

“The thing I like to do.” Now he really was smirking and he seemed to be enjoying stringing you along.

“Which is?”

“Dominating my sexual partners.”

You swallowed hard and nodded. “Got it, that’s what I thought.”

“Then why’d you ask?” He responded. It wasn’t confrontational, more curious.

“I mean I get the whole domination thing, I’m not that naïve.” You prefaced. “It was more so,” You cleared your throat, “ the pain aspect I don’t completely understand.”

“Ah, so I take it you’ve never been spanked before?”

You couldn’t believe you were having this conversation in a dinky small town bar with a man you practically despised a week ago, and the fact he was being so nonchalant about it.

“I mean, I wouldn’t say I haven’t,”

“Let me guess, a couple love taps from a dude during the act and that’s it?”

“Pretty much.”

He looked as though he expected that, and sat up straight before he spoke again. “I’ll put it to you like this, you know all that tension you carry in your body? And all those erratic, loud thoughts in your head that keep you from sleeping well at night?”

You knew all those things very well, and nodded along.

“Some people, when they submit to another person and let them inflict pain, find that all those things cease to exist in that moment. Your body releases a lot of chemicals in response to pain, and they happen to feel really, really good.”

You listened intently, his entire posture and manner of speaking had changed once you got to this subject, his usual chill, kind of goofy office guy persona slipping away into someone more serious, but relaxed and knowledgeable.

“So instead of that,” He nodded toward your glass of wine, “you achieve a similar effect with a few lashings.”

You thought about it for a moment before you spoke. “I thought it was just something people got off on.”

“It can be, but it’s a complex experience. Sometimes there’s no sex involved at all.”

“You’ve had situations where someone came over, you beat them with a belt, and then they just go home?” You blurted out in response.

He laughed again, louder this time, but nodded. “Yeah, sometimes.”

You didn’t know why, maybe it was the alcohol, but suddenly this all seemed way too intriguing. For years you had tried to find ways to deal with your stress. You had tried yoga, tea, getting a facial once a week, but nothing seemed to work. Sometimes you even thought drugs might do the trick, but watching your friend on molly at a concert that one time has put you off the idea.

“The pain just makes everything fade into the background, I’ve even been told it’s euphoric.”  He added, only enticing you further.

“Makes sense.” You murmured, bringing your glass back to your lips to finish it off. You felt like you were in a daze, and when he suddenly leaned in it took you by surprise.

“Are you curious to try it?”

He said it gently, quietly, so only you could hear. Immediately your cheeks burned and you leaned back.

“No! I mean, I don’t know.” You stated truthfully. Whether you did or not, the accusation that you might was horribly embarrassing to confront.

“Well if you do ever want to try it, just be careful.” His face drew down into concern. “There’s a lot of people out there that don’t know what they’re doing.”

“You’d say you’re experienced?”

“I’d like to think so.”

He seemed to pause, running his finger along the rim of his glass, hesitating before he spoke up.

“It wouldn’t be wise of me to offer up my experience, since we’re co-workers n’all.”

You gulped, wishing you had more to drink because suddenly your throat was dry.

“But if you have any more questions, you know where to find me.” He grinned, and it felt like an invitation.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #444

“the monster you made is wearing the crown  /  i’ll be the king, and you’ll be the clown”

Do you take off from school, or work for your birthday? Ha, I used to try to talk Mom into letting me stay home from school... It only sometimes worked. Have you ever created ‘open when’ letters for someone? No. That'd be cute for an s/o, though. What is the best thing about being in the relationship you’re in right now or about being single? Not having to fear my partner leaving because of the struggles I'm going through. Not having to worry about not being enough for another person, because I'm not even enough for myself. Do you have a favourite painting? Not by a historical artist, no, but there is a piece by a deviantART artist called "Denialism" (by NukeRooster/Tatchit, if you're interested) that I adore so much I've actually gotten her permission to get it tattooed one day when I can afford a brilliant artist to do it. What are some of the best life hacks you know? /shrug What makes you smile without fail? MARK LAUGHING laj;sdkafjwlk;erj Do you know what you’ll be getting your loved ones for the holidays this winter? No clue. That's still a whiles off. What is your biggest short-term goal (within the next month)? Just lose a decent amount of weight for a month's time. What will your next tattoo be of? It depends on what cash I have available, really. As much as it sucks, I think my next tat is a whiles off because I just have more pressing things to pay for. Has anyone very close to you ever died? Besides pets, the closest human to me that's ever died was Jason's mom. If you were throwing your significant other/best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? Uh, Frieza-related, obviously. Do you feel prepared for the apocalypse? I don't believe in the apocalypse in the biblical sense of it being determined by an ultimate power, so this isn't something I really think about. Whenever humanity ends, it ends. I don't have a say, so I may as well not obsess over it. Do you think you will have children naturally, adopt, or forgo having children altogether? I'm not having kids, but if I did, I know that either I'd have to give birth to them or my hypothetical wife would for me to feel *properly* connected to them as a mother should. Oh, or if my male partner had a kid from a previous relationship, but I'd have to be REALLY in love with him to feel like that child is also my own. Do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? Oh god no. Do you believe in angels? No, but rather just spirits. Is there anything in your past that you used to regret, but now you don’t? Hm, maybe? Does your knee hurt? My knees always hurt. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Yes. Do you like raisins? omg nooooo What is your favorite bug? Butterflies! :') Do you like Scrabble? Sure, it's fun for a board game. Do you have a printer? Yes. What is your favorite food? Cheeseburgers or pizza, probably. I know, so American. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? Yes. Do you like ants? They are very fascinating when you really think about it, but I still find them incredibly annoying. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. Have you ever drank goat milk? No, I don't believe so. What’s your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Do you like cats? I love kitties!!! :') Are goldfish your favorite fish? No. I think my favorite is probably the lionfish. Do you like vanilla pudding? No. I only like chocolate pudding. What is your opinion on gay marriage? I 100% support it and would fight to the death for it. What is your opinion on gay adoption? Don't even fucking look at me if you see a problem with a parentless child finding a home with two people in love. Who was the last person you had a crush on? Sara. What’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own? I have zero clue. Why do you drive the car you have right now? I don't have my own car. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Omg yes and it sucks. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. What is your current desktop picture? One of my favorite pictures of my late pup, Teddy. What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains! Does your neighbor have any pets? *shrug* Have you ever swam in a mountain lake? No, but that sounds VIBIN'. Has a cat/dog ever thrown up on your bed? alksdjflk;a;jdfalwe yes Have you ever had a concussion? One or two. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Not currently, I think? I want a fat-tailed gecko, though. :( Would you ever go bear hunting? I wouldn't dare hunt ANY animal. Have you ever seen two movies at the theater in a row? I have not. How many teenagers do you know who have babies? I know no teen personally that has a child, but there were some pregnant students in high school. If you could keep your parents or trade them for other parents, which would you pick? I would NEVER change my parents. Is there a piggy bank in the room you’re in? It's not a "piggy" bank, per se, but my sister got me a skull one that she says is for my tattoo funds. :') How many sets of twins do you know? Two, off the very top of my head. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? Yes. No one fucks with her for as long as I live. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not especially. Who is your favorite Disney Channel person? Uhhh, maybe Raven Symone? How many pets do you have? Just two. Do you think you will be successful in life? No. :/ What do you have pierced? My earlobes, twice, and my bottom lip. I have been dyinnnnggg for some new ones lately. :/ Does techno annoy you as much as it annoys me? No, I actually enjoy quite a bit of techno. What’s your comfort food? Ice cream. Do you like paranormal stuff? YES. Do you have a favorite stuffed toy? Rebel, my adorable meerkat plush from Jason, and Brownie, my moose from Cabela's. What’s the most exciting project you were given? In a way, my senior project since you got to choose your own topic, but I dreaded the presentation. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not at ALL. What are your favorite colour for a cat? Orange! If you had to live your life carrying a shield, what would its design be? This is gonna sound super, super cheesy, but probably a heart to symbolize how love should and could block the effects of hate and general evil and that we should pursue that instead of violence. Out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first? Oh god, they all do. If I had to pick one though, it'd be one of the inevitably fatal kinds, like pancreatic. What are your general afterthoughts when you’ve finished a book? I feel accomplished for actually reading to a story's completion. How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned? Two, I think? What color is your flash-drive? Hot pink. Have you ever built a sand castle? Yeah. How many houses have you lived in? Six. One I have no memory of. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes. What video game should everybody play at least once? Amnesia: A Machine for PIgs for the symbolism. It blows my mind how most horror fans hate it; it's like they totally miss the point. 100 years from now, what modern things will people look back on and say, “WTF?” Hopefully things like homophobia, racism, misogyny, concepts like those. What is impossible to understand until it happens to you? Mental illness, to name only one thing. What fictional food item from a television show, cartoon, movie, or video game have you always wanted to try? Hm. There's a lot that has looked super good, really. What’s something that gets much more hate than it deserves? Nickelback, lmao. What phrases or sayings drive you crazy? "Everything happens for a reason," "it could be worse/some people have it worse," "it's all part of God's plan," "just think positive"... a lot of stuff. Do you have a deviantART? I do, even though Eclipse made it fucking suck. I only really stay because I cling to the dying hope of being at least somewhat successful on there, and I enjoy keeping tabs on the artwork of the hundreds of people I watch there. Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa, even if he doesn't last long in the movie. :''''''( Have you ever been to Germany? No, but I'd love to! What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. Have you ever been ice skating? No. The blades on the skates scare me. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Do you have any nieces or nephews? I have a lot, if you include my half-siblings' kids. Do you own an Xbox? Nah, I've always been a PlayStation gal. Would you date someone who’s well-known for cheating? Nope. Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? No. I'd consider their reasons, but ultimately, it's about me loving the person. Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yeah, sure. It's not ideal, but I mean if the other person is just very opposed, I'm certainly not forcing them. Emotional intimacy is more important to me, anyway. Have you ever been “friendzoned”? Yep. :') Briefly, anyway. Jason tried for my sake, but it was VERY short-lived by no one's fault but my own because all I know how to do is fuck shit up when it comes to him. Which “famous couple” is your favorite? LOOK Mark and Amy are FUCKIN GEMS Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? Pretty fucking much. Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? I'm submissive by nature. Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? No, I think it's a cute holiday. Which do you feel is worse of the two to smoke: weed or tobacco? Well, weed has more carcinogens, but at least it has actual health benefits. Who did you last see that you haven’t seen in ages? *shrug* Are you photogenic at all? God no.

[heartofether]

Bonus Episode #4 - Irene's Inauguration TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[INTRO MUSIC PLAYS FOR SOME TIME BEFORE FADING OUT.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. THE BREAK ROOM, MIDDAY, AROUND LUNCH.]

[IRENE IS SITTING DOWN AT THE TABLE, WHILE ADEN IS LEANING OVER HER SHOULDER. THERE ARE VARIOUS OFFICE AMBIANCE NOISES HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.]

IRENE

I don’t think I need your help setting it up, you know. I’m pretty sure I can figure out how to use an app.

ADEN

Sorry, sorry, I’m just—excited, you know? It feels like you’re about to take a big step, and I get to be the one to watch it happen.

IRENE

[SHE SCOFFS.] As if this is a major life milestone.

ADEN

Hey, I think it is! In a way. You know? It’s not common for someone your age to not be active on social media—

IRENE

Hey.

ADEN

Not that that’s a bad thing! You’re like, joining the masses though. It’s like an inauguration.

IRENE

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

ADEN

And, I’d also like to witness the outcome of my months of pestering you.

IRENE

Hey! I kept saying I was going to—

ADEN

So have you come up with a username yet?

IRENE

Um, not really? I’m guessing just irenegray is taken.

ADEN

Mmmm, probably. If it helps at all, I added a word to my username that I thought sounded nice. Kind of like, something cool and aesthetic, you know?

IRENE

See, that’s part of the problem. You actively have an aesthetic you’re trying to maintain. I’m just kind of, you know. [SHE VAGUELY MOTIONS.]

ADEN

Hey, I think that’s great that you're authentically yourself and you don’t adhere to any restrictive subcultures.

IRENE

If you wanna call it that… honestly though I just hadn’t thought about it. I mean, you know I’m mostly doing this for you, right?

ADEN

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just pick a word you like and pair it with your name to see if it sounds nice! Maybe, like, an adjective?

IRENE

Hm. [SHE THINKS FOR A MOMENT, THEN] I kind of like the idea of it being something forest-themed.

ADEN

That would be cute! What if you did, like, the name of a tree? [BEAT] Ooh! You could do something like cedarirene, as in red cedars, you like those, right?

IRENE

[THINKING] I kind of like that, they’re pretty… [beat]

ADEN

[HE LAUGHS AT HIS OWN JOKE] Or you could do, like, irenefir, as in Douglas-fir? Those are pretty common in this part of the states.

IRENE

[SHE CHUCKLES, THEN, HUMS IN THOUGHT.] Yeah, I’m not sure I’m going for the Christmas tree route today.

ADEN

Hey, if you end up deciding you don’t like it, you can always change it later.

IRENE

That’s a good point. [BEAT] But I think cedarirene is good.

ADEN

I like it, too.

[A PAUSE AS SHE TYPES.]

ADEN

Then just add your email and password—don’t worry, I’ll look away for this part… [KEEPS TRAILING ON AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT WHILE IRENE TYPES] Even though I’m fairly certain it’s the same login info you use for everything… which you should really work on by the way, you know that really isn’t the most secure—

[MORE PHONE TYPING.]

IRENE

Got it.

ADEN

Then you’re done!

[A BEAT.]

IRENE

What do I do now?

ADEN

Now, you get to customize your profile. You know, add your name, your bio, a profile picture—oh, actually hold on, give me your phone real quick.

IRENE

Why?

ADEN

I want you to follow me! Here, just let me search for my username.

IRENE

[SHE CHUCKLES.] Sure. Go wild.

[ADEN IS HEARD TYPING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

ADEN

…and done. Oh, actually, while I’m here, I should have you follow Carol and Julia. [HE STARTS TYPING THEIR USERNAMES IN.]

IRENE

[IN SHOCK] Carol has Instagram?

ADEN

Uh, yeah.[beat] You seriously don’t understand just how behind you are, do you?

IRENE

[SHE GAPES IN FAUX-OFFENSE] You act like I’m withering away into a pile of dust just for not using social media.

ADEN

[GIGGLING] I’m kidding, Irene! I know lots of reasons why someone may want to go off the grid. I mean, social media can be kind of, er…

IRENE

A cruel and unjust place full of corporate marketing and unattainable standards?

ADEN

Yeah. Also, it can be kind of addicting for some people. So just, I mean I doubt you’ll have that problem since you don’t really seem to care, but just—be careful.

IRENE

Don’t worry, I doubt I’ll even use it that much.

ADEN

You better at least open the app every now and then. I want to send you stuff.

IRENE

[SHE LAUGHS.] I’ll keep notifications on for you, bud… If nothing else.

ADEN

Right, so, back to your profile. I’ll let you do whatever you want for this part. Oh, you should put your pronouns in your bio, though.

IRENE

Got it. [A PAUSE, THEN] Uh, what else should I put?

ADEN

Anything you want, really. Some people like to put their age, their job, sexuality, a fun fact about themselves.

IRENE

I mean, I don’t really want to share my entire personal life with the internet.

ADEN

Then don’t. Just put some totally random fun fact.

IRENE

Hm. Okay.

[A PAUSE AS IRENE TYPES.]

ADEN

Is that… did you actually drink three cups of coffee in less than one hour before?

IRENE

It was finals season.

ADEN

[CONCERNED] I can only drink one cup, and that still makes me shaky. Were you okay?

IRENE

Gonna be totally honest, I don’t remember a damn thing from those twenty-four hours.

[THERE’S A BRIEF PAUSE BEFORE THEY BOTH LAUGH FOR A FEW SECONDS.]

ADEN

[THROUGH FADING LAUGHTER] Okay, okay. Now you just need to set a profile pic.

IRENE

I mean, I don’t really take selfies ever.

ADEN

It doesn’t have to be a photo of your face. Do you have any pets?

IRENE

Not unless my dead betta fish from three years ago counts.

ADEN

Hm, okay. Some people just make it a color they like, or if you just have a nice photo in your camera roll you want to use, you could do that. Some people use characters they like, art pieces, pictures of buildings, yada, yada, yada. Just pick something.

IRENE

Where do you get all of your info about Instagram accounts, anyways?

ADEN

Oh, it was actually my minor in college. “Aesthetically Pleasing Profiles 101.”

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

ADEN

I’m joking, of course. It’s just…I don’t know, the internet was kind of a safe space for me for a while? When I first moved to Daughtler, I didn’t have many friends, and my constant state of anxiety was far from helpful. Online, I could be myself and find people with similar interests way easier than I could around town, without ever having to worry about my weird real-life mannerisms that might drive people away.

IRENE

[SINCERE] That makes a lot of sense. It’s good to have support like that. I, uh, probably could have used something like that in college, honestly. I just got kind of used to isolating myself after a while, I guess. [A BEAT.] Though, if it helps at all, I think you’re pretty cool offline, too.

ADEN

Thanks, Irene. [A BEAT.] So, about your profile pic.

IRENE

Do you think Carol would mind if I made it a picture of Mothman?

ADEN

I— [HE GIGGLES.] You know what? I think she’d think it’s cute. Do it.

[IRENE GIGGLES. SHE SETS THE PROFILE PIC.]

ADEN

Welcome to the digital world, Irene Gray.

IRENE

Please, I’m not a grandpa. I know how the internet works.

ADEN

I know, I know. I’m excited to see what you post, though.

IRENE

[THINKING] I honestly hadn’t given it much thought. I guess we’ll find out… if I remember to.

ADEN

Don’t think about it too hard, alright? Just be your authentic self.

IRENE

I’ll certainly try my best.

[PHONE BEEP.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today's quote is: "Love is a leash that goes both ways."

Becca De La Rosa in Mabel, Episode 36, 2019.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

[ratboyray]

Ayyy new blog theme hecking finally! It looks nicer on desktop than mobile but I’m glad for the change. I posted my first rwtw fan fiction today whoops but bro I can’t believe you still haven’t finished the show... how long has it been since you first watched it?? You give off the vibe that you’ve seen it like three times. Soooo I committed to college today I can’t really believe it. Also found out my XC team is ranked 5th in the state??? Like what??? Not just class (we’ve been ranked first in our class for 4 years) but the entire state? I’m losing my mind I’m so happy for us. There’s not gonna be a state meet this year though so that’s really sad. I got my undercut yesterday!! The top part is a little shorter than I thought but I really like it. I feel like it more resembles a mix of hirugami from hq and hiyori from free rather than atsumu but it’s a vibe haha the top was wayyy floofier than I thought it’d be. Spring break is ending too soon I’m crying I did like zero homework and it’s gonna come back to bite me... but it’s been worth it ngl I can’t seem to hack school anymore. How’s school going for you? Got any spring track meets coming up? Anyway hugs and kisses from your badger bestie I don’t need to tell you to stay hydrated but please take care of yourself :)

THE GALAXY THEME>>>>>>>>>>> and okay I just read your rwtw fic and it’s fkn killer👀👀👀👀 I think I started watching it like,,,,,,in august????bye😭😭😭fr i’m so bad at finishing shows ,,off the top of y head i’m in the middle of like 6 rn and stuck bc I can’t commit to one to finish teeheehhdj😭😸✌️

and ayooooo college checkkkkk😼😼 I feel lije you mentioned before but Im not sure what program you’re going for?? also is your hair still purple?.your hair sounds like it looks wicked cool with the undercut bro😼😼👊 and bruhh we have spring break in like a week and it’s Very Needed bdjhhdhd I can’t bring myself to do my work🥴🥴 but outdoor starts officially at the end of the month but there’s been practices for a few weeks which has been a mood booster‼️‼️

and broooo tysm much love🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[zackcollins]

Good afternoon!!!

Well your predictions were correct because shit definitely hit the fan with trades so far. I can’t believe how badly I have hated every single trade this off-season (excluding those traded to the Kraken). Also, I really do wish I could be the Kool-Aid man rn in those commercials (references your reply from this morning 😂). All I want is to go to sleep and wake up when all this is over! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyway, sorry to be a downer for a minute there. I am usually so positive but sheesh this trade season is tough, especially with this being my first time experiencing it. I hope your day gets better and that we make it through. Perhaps you’re right about maybe the weekend will be better. Sending you all the hugs, love, good vibes, and more forehead kisses bc why not? Take care of yourself today please! ❤️

—👑

Afternoon!

Not gonna lie to you, I've ignored my own advice and I've been glued to Tumblr pretty much all day to see who is going where. It's pretty bad when I can't even take my own advice when I know following these trades is gonna make me wanna jump through the wall like Kool-Aid man. Maybe we can do it together for maximum damage. Because like. I need a friend after some of the shit I've seen so far today. Also, mood. I'd just love to go to sleep and only wake up whenever all of this nonsense is over. I could most definitely use the sleep to begin with. So like. Might as well just get it now before the season actually starts and I slowly start losing my mind again.

You don't need to apologize. Not everyone is positive 100% of the time. Anyone that says they are is lying to you. Everyone has rough patches they go though whether they last five minutes or five years. Everybody is bound to feel at least a little sad once in a while. That's just how being a normal human works.

I hope your day gets better too! I tried to distract myself somewhat by changing my desktop theme. One of my friends said that she likes it, so that gave me a little bit of a confidence boost. Seeing her say that made me feel a little less stressed because it took my mind away from the craziness of the trades for a few minutes and helped me focus on something else. And thank you for the positive vibes, hugs, and forehead kisses! I'm sending them right back at you because it looks like you could use them just as much as me. Love you loads and take care of yourself too!

[sugarcomatosed]

Ramblings for my Sekifuyu playlist bc what is self control  This isn’t clear at all, I am sorry.

Accidentally, this is sort of an A Side, B Side Playlist. Full of accidental parallels because im a dingus and genius. Fun fact if you look at the dates on desktop spotify you can see that I was def listening to this while working on my huge fic.

You start with Iori, like in the game and it’s all shoujo swirls and poppy sounds (Teenage Dream, Spending All My Time). Both of which are focused on first love, and just that overwhelming excitement of being in love and first love. I picked the cover because it has more of Iori’s spunk.

Then, we take a small dive, but stay poppy with (Love Me like That), when Iori mistakenly believes Ei loves Ryoko, followed by things constantly pushing them back together (Magnetic Field) which is something the two of them constantly think about wait for the meta on that i have screenshots.

Takes All Night is just the motorcycle confession, “So it's now or never, Before you're gone for good, Seconds count, I'm coming with nothing to lose”

Given It All Sort of accidentally sets up a call and response to Two More Minutes, but is sort of that in between where Iori really owns up to all her feelings and is all in, you can call her silly but she’s in it.

Devil’s Backbone specifically is something about Tomi’s warning to stay away from Ei, and her affirmation to Ei, that it doesn’t matter if he’s an assassin. Iori’s in love with him. This is also a weird sound transition  but I accidentally echoed this later with him....so...shrug emoji...

Heavy Weather is a song in his musical styles I used in the second have, but Iori’s feelings. I suppose it’s...Iori’s feelings when she asks Ei to fight the deimos with her, “come on lightning, try to strike us”.

Dream I found on my spotify recommended and I lost my mind over...it was perfect for both Ei asking her to start looping, and returning to register his Sentinel.

Then we whirl back around into Iori’s pure shoujo pop sound for her feelings when Ei goes missing between routes (Untouched). Also the instrumental break makes me go feral. 

FINALLY, we start to bridge the gap with the two of them on Meet Me Halfway, which is here for Iori waiting for him after school, patiently and for him to show up again.  

Last Iori song is for her feelings in Destruction, “I’m not giving up on love”.

Now that we’ve finished with Iori we start to change musically to less poppy sounds, Light of Love is another duo, verse one is for her, verse two is for him and they’re both trying to figure this feeling and each other out.

Formally this is where “B Side” begins, and the songs are a lot more muted. We’re also going backwards! What’s a sentinels playlist if I can’t fuck around with ordering.  Going backwards was a pain for ordering and my brain but I liked how it sounds. 

We go to Ei’s feelings in destruction, reflecting on how Iori’s changed him, and how he was so used to doing things alone, but now he’s got her. (I was an Island)

Ocean Avenue is the last official duo song, and it goes right for the lines in destruction where they talk about going to the beach. I cry....

Lover is Childlike is the accidental echo of Devil’s Backbone, where Ei is very aware that Iori is soft, naive and how that’s what makes her...her. Something about the way he reflects on her before he summons his Sentinel in his finale.

Ei at the end of his story (Superstar), where he’s finally able to tell her; yes this is the start of something and that he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to her. We also get to bring up the run away lines again. This sound is more...her style his words.

Then, backwards continues to Ei struggling with his feelings and how much he cares for Iori (Two More Minutes), and despite everything he’s learned about himself and his scattered memories, he still wants her. 

Ei’s music is all like...slow stripped sounds and angsty lmao. I love it but also Ei-kun please..stop angsting. We go back to Ei trying to process his  meetings with Iori after memory loss with Neptune; “I want to love you but I don’t know how.”

Finally, Memory Loss! (Jet Pack Blues), Musically i like how this breaks up his melancholy but still keeps to theming. He’s completely baffled by her when they meet here, that she’s been waiting for him and that she loves him! He doesn’t know who this girl is, but she knows him. 

Ei registers his sentinel and leaves her all alone (Verona), where he wants to confess...but doesn’t. Instead he’s aware that everything is going to change any day now when he loses his memory and how things could have been.

Ei’s messy feeling spiral continues as we backtrack to the park, in which he asks her to runaway with him in a moment of weakness. (Outside), it doesn’t matter if the world is ruined, he wants her.

With Analog boy we come around to Ei sort of making that call to go ahead with the Memory Back up; less direct things here but it’s got his illness and hollowness vibe.

End it off with time traveling assassin who didn’t expect things to go this way (Predator and Prey), and the assassin who was totally ready to just straight up commit a crime (Paralyzed) 

....and that’s my long ass playlist write up im gonna go take a nap

[truthseekerastrology]

Chiron Chronicles, Volume Six, November 22, 2020: Venus in Scorpio, Finding Pleasure and Peace in Life’s Pauses.

I probably shouldn't have had that last drink I probably shouldn't have said all the things that I said to you I probably shouldn't have got so loud That's probably why you ain't calling be back right now But I probably shouldn't focus on all the probablys 'cause All that shoulda, woulda, coulda don't mean nothin', no And I know I was trippin' when I should have been lovin' you 'Cause if that shoulda, woulda, coulda did mean somethin' Then I wouldn't be Then I wouldn't be missing what could've been

-- From Shudawudacuda (from the 2017 studio album “Feel The Real” by Musiq Soulchild)

 As I sit down to write this month’s edition of #TheChironChronicles, the clock on my phone tells me that It’s 6:17 pm ET.  Funny thing though; my computer’s clock begs to differ.  It’s showing a time of 4:16pm. It’s been stuck on this time for the last 2 hours.  

I don’t know why the clock on my desktop decided to stop at this time, and to be honest with you, I’m not even bothered by it.  What’s fascinating is that it honestly didn’t occur to me that time stopped on my computer until about an hour later, around 5:15 or so - I was so engrossed in watching a really powerful video about servant leadership (might be a topic for a future edition of #TheChironChronicles, so stay tuned).  

At the moment it occurred to me what was going on, I decided that maybe I needed to cast a chart for this moment, and channel what it’s trying to say to us.  With the moon in the reality-bending sign of Pisces, it truly feels like a Twilight Zone, Salvador Dali melting clock moment.  

Here’s the chart of the moment the clock on my computer stopped at 4:16pm today:

Right off the bat I noticed two things:  

First, Taurus is rising in the late degrees (by the way, this degree aligns very closely with Donald Trump’s career and life purpose angle), which tells me that this is one of those “no turning back” moments. 

The Sabian symbol for the 26th degree of Taurus is “A Spaniard serenading his senorita.”  Blain Bovee writes the following about this symbol:

“Love floats… There is an element of the magical in Taurus 26. It points to something which can uplift, allure, change the entire quality of experience, in this case, through song. The common 26th degree theme is that of 'suspension' in the sense that something exact just seems to hang there in the moment of experience... something extra.”

When I think of magic, Taurus doesn’t automatically come to mind.  But we’re not talking about your garden variety Taurus… the queen of the chart, Venus,  is in alchemical Scorpio,  and she has the power to stop time in her quest to bring you pleasure.  

Venus in Scorpio is an all or nothing Venus.. a whips and chains Venus, a dark magic Venus.  She wants us to open up completely to pleasure, and will pull out all of the stops. She tests our limits.  Sometimes physical pain will be involved.  She will stop at nothing to tempt us away from the mundane.  She is a fishnet stocking stiletto heels corset wearing Venus, built for hedonistic seduction, unforgettable pleasure with a little bit of pain thrown in for good measure. 

Ready or not, she’s gonna give you some toe-curling, back arching, unforgettable experiences that will overtake your senses and make you literally feel like time has melted.  Time stops when you find yourself in her clutches.  She will make you want more and more… but if you’re not careful, she will drive you to compulsively obsess over her, but a warning:

Do not try to dominate or subjugate her. Your efforts to do so will be futile.  Enjoy her - enjoy the moment.  Let it transform you, but don’t try to change or control her.  And definitely don’t allow yourself to be consumed by the darkness. You’ve been warned.

A little more about Venus right now… She’s just beginning her journey through the sign of power, other people’s money, death, sex, mysteries and secrets, having left her (other) home sign of Libra yesterday (November 21) at 8:15 am ET.  

Venus is energetically uncomfortable in Scorpio, the sign of extremes, mainly because she wants to get along with others and understands that cooperation can advance her interests and bring her the things that she needs and wants.  Scorpio could give a shit less about cooperation, to be honest.  

I consider Scorpio an otherworldly place, watery for sure, but not in the way we think of the waters of Pisces (where the moon is right now) or the waters of Cancer.   It’s fiery, steamy, transformative, life-changing - nothing at all like Libra, airy and harmonious, and nothing like her first home sign of Taurus, earthy and security seeking, content to work until the money’s made and the pot of something delicious is ready to be eaten. 

The second element I want to point out is this… below the horizon… the Gemini North Node is in the 1st house, and over in the 6th house is Venus (the queen of the chart) and Mercury (the dispositor of the Gemini NN).  All of the action in this chart is above the horizon and we’re kind of at the whim of forces beyond our control right now. The thing to do is to surrender and allow ourselves a bit of time to enjoy this pause. 

Consider these questions: Have we done a good job in handling all of this Scorpionic, Plutonic and Martian energy over the last year?  

Can we experience (give in to) the depths of pleasure without losing all sense of control? Is winning at all costs worth it in the end?

What ends up getting lost when we struggle to have our way? 

What value do our power struggles and obsessions bring to our daily existence?  

If you could stop time today, what would you say?  What would you do? What needs fixing, what needs tending to?

Remember that Mercury stationed direct on Election Day, November 3rd and has since moved on from all the degrees in Scorpio he retrograded over when he began his travels into the Underworld on October 14th.  He’s surveying new territory in the later half of Scorpio before he moves into the philosophical sign of Sagittarius.  The Sun has since set up shop there, having left the depths of Scorpio for Sag on November 21 at 3:32pm ET, illuminating the way. Philosophical questions need to be raised, and answered… that will come over the next few weeks.  

Between the election drama and the intensifying danger and dread of living through this coronavirus pandemic, feelings and emotions have been charged, polarized, amped up by a sense of revenge, payback and a lust for blood and a pound of flesh.   Maybe we’ve unleashed our frustration on others around us, and maybe those outbursts were justified, or maybe they were over the top and uncalled for.  

Nevertheless, there is a persistent sense that time has been distorted, and that there is really no room for pleasure and enjoyment of the little things, or that there’s this feeling that what you want or desire is being denied you, unfairly.  We may look to overdo things over the next few days, but it is very important to strike a balance between our thoughts and feelings, and to resist the urge to initiate or continue to engage in power struggles with others because we may feel like we’ve been wronged or like we’re not getting our way. 

The truth is, what has been, no matter how seductive or enjoyable or pleasurable it was, has come to and end.  

What will be decided, is what it is, and we have to accept it and move on.  Just like time.