oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh
so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.
why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.
and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.
so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.
it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.
like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!
and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)
(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)
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To soothe the pain, love, while I don't believe the Doctor - that is 1-12, the others might - ever SAID 'I love you' to River, I am convinced they taught her Gallifreyan just so she'd understand they kept tracing 'I love you' onto the back of her hand at random moments
Awwh! :’) I love the idea of the Doctor randomly tracing Gallifreyan on her skin to express all the things that they can’t say! I’d sort of thought River knew Gallifreyan instinctually with it on the TARDIS screens, but with her connection to the TARDIS being so inherent, maybe there’s no need.
…but now I’m imagining River recognizing (with their lives out of order), that the shapes he’s tracing are Gallifreyan circles. And maybe she’d connect the dots and study Gallifreyan on her own. And then she would understand what he’s writing — and start to take it wrong that he’s writing it but doesn’t have the guts to actually tell her, and she would overthink forever but not actually ask him…
Until the Doctor notices asks why she’s being cold — and then she tells him — and he says he thought she already knew—
(Crying and hugging ensues.)
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You know that thing you mighta done when you were little where you write your full name ontop of your crushes full name and count how many coinciding letters you have and that somehow corresponded with how compatible you were??...
I mighta done... that thing... with F/O's... XD
And I recommend it! Because it's fun XD
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so funny that I learned about making a wish at 11:11 and now if I happen to look at a clock at that time my brain goes "11:11 make a wish!" and I immediately start praying for whatever want or hope is at the top of my mind
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One thing I fucking hate about my sleep is that I'm exhausted the entire day, but as soon as the lights are off and I'm in bed I become restless, literally.
I am thinking too hard about things, rotating like crazy to find a semi comfortable position to sleep in, thinking too hard about my past again (tell me it's shit, please, I need people to heckle at it with. I am being a hater alone and that's not fun), having to physically not move for twenty minutes in the hopes of falling asleep, my entire body goes numb because IT does, but not my brain. Then it's not good, so I have to move and thus undo the last twenty minutes of trying to fall asleep to find another position and try again.
All that and I go to bed at midnight and only fall asleep at two in the morning, my sleep is absolute shit and truly I want a refund
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No one
Absolutely no one
Not a damm soul:
Me: S5 Debbie is actually a pretty realistic effect of S4 Debbie realizing every single adult in her is fallible as a result of Fiona's arrest and her endangering Liam and Liam's hospitalization
Me: further it's what marks a change in her relationship with Fiona since before that she very much saw her as a mother figure but the last mother figure she had left and this one made mistakes that shook the whole family. When Fiona says "I don't know what I'm doing either" and Debbie says "everyone knows that" she's almost resentful. She's grappling with the fact that not everyone in her life is solid as she thought and she's still at an age when she needs them to be. This is also the time when Fiona's working more and Lip is at college and Debbie goes from having a family dinner every night to only some nights seeing her older siblings.
Me: Lip was probably the last person she saw as infallible but then with his alcoholism she also realizes "oh he's a dumbass too" this is what leads her to feel the need to be hyper independent something she fails miserably at because she's fifteen and her brain hasn't fully developed. This is also what leads her to look to people like Sletvana and her fake friends as role models because she feels like the ones she had before she can't use and That along with her needing family both to having friends up depending on one and realizing later she ( felt like she) Couldn't depend on hers leads to a lot of her bad decisions and when you think about that and how she wasn't some simulation doll in s1-s3 but a person who developed and reacted to everything that happened it-
The Uber driver who just wants his tip: ma'am you good?
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I totally get what ur saying about the vibes of modern Cats prods being different, and its right. But also like I'm glad Cats is still going 4 decades on and its not like one of the forgotten ALW shows that barely tours and hasnt seen modern day successes. Idk there's good and bad to Cats being on this long and being everchanging but I see it as a positive thing.
And that's totally within your right to see it as a positive thing, anon. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm not glad that CATS has continued to have the legacy it's had for this long, nor am I going to say that modern day productions are inherently bad things or look down my nose at them, because that isn't what I mean. They're not bad things. I love this musical - it has been a core part of my personality for decades and will continue to be for however long I'm around. I like the fact that it is (somewhat) accessible to me still if I wish to see it live here and now.
What I mean is CATS has become so same-same and "safe" in the past, maybe, ten years or so, where every production (non-replicas notwithstanding) now looks like a copy of itself (like...an entire chunk of its visual palette for over 33 years was scrubbed clean from existence), or a watered down version of a concept, or an evolution of something in a way that producers feel is a "necessary" change to push modernization (that often ends up being *un*necessary), because money (and yes it's always been about money, I'm aware). It's not really everchanging anymore - it's ever on the quest to become one standardized, polished across the board product that can be mass produced. And it's disheartening to think on from time to time because one of the best things about CATS, in my opinion, was always that you were going to get something visually different wherever you went, and the show was free to be more or less polished and more or less disturbing and weird and different and raw and audiences could consume it in several different ways and that was fun!
I'm not saying CATS shouldn't still be running - I'm saying that it's lost a touch of its sparkle in its recent modernity. Jacob Brent was already saying something to this effect way back in 2012/2013 - it's not really a new thing. It's further become the very thing that Gus the Theatre Cat laments about in regards to theatre back in *his* day just having a feeling and atmosphere about it that is missing nowadays - which was in turn written by a man in the 30s who was critiquing the theatre of *even earlier*. That line delivered in his poem/song where he glances around the theatre and breaks the fourth wall saying: "these modern productions are all very well/but they're nothing to equal from what I here tell" was already the musical taking an indirect tongue in cheek dig at itself back in the day when CATS was considered a "mega musical" and not real theatre. Now it almost feels like a *direct* stab at itself.
Tl;dr - I am not unhappy with CATS still being a large part of the theatrical industry or it still running - but I miss old CATS. Productions nowadays don't have the same feeling they used to. These points can and should be able to co-exist. And this is not inherently a bad or good thing - it's just something that needs to be accepted.
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