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#lamb loose liveblogging
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hi, Niki here.
so, my health is a bit on the ??? side as I try to understand what is happening to my right arm and my blood pressure (rude! I’ve survived on low blood pressure my whole life, what is this high blood pressure nonsense now??) which makes it a bit difficult for me to wake up at 4.45am every day in order to write, since that’s the only time during the day I have for myself.
so.. I regret to inform y’all that.. (*shudders*) I need to take a break. from writing ;-; and possibly from tumblr. you can reach me on here or ao3 no problem, I’ll reply when I can. there will be no new posts under the #lamb loose liveblogging tag for a while, I’m sorry. I still plan to post a new chapter for my evilive fic by the beginning of April nonetheless but.. yeah, no fun times for a while me fears.
to anyone who marginally likes what I make I want to say: *-* thank u for sticking around, ily, I hope you find money on the ground every day, and I will come back to you with more things to share, don’t worry. in the meantime be safe ok?
🦞u!
~Niki out!
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brave-clarice · 3 years
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“Clarice” Liveblog: Episode 1
Here are my extremely unfashionably late takes! They’re long, so strap in if you want.
okay, I genuinely thought the scenes in Gumb’s basement were ripped from the film for a second. extremely well done.
I both appreciate that they’re acknowledging the Bureau-mandated psych eval Clarice would have to go through (not sure she’d have to have another one a year later?)...
...but I sure wish they hadn’t chosen to open this show in a therapy-like session. it’s going to be subject to enough NBC comparisons as it is.
gosh, Rebecca Breeds is so pretty, and in the same almost, idk, elfin kind of way Jodie Foster is.
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“Bride of Frankenstein”! a novel reference! and a Hannibal Lecter reference even though they can’t use his name! I’m excited
I was afraid of this part, though--everyone’s going to call her “Clarice” aren’t they?
it’s very significant that in the books, Hannibal is virtually alone in using her first name to address her; even Ardelia calls her “Starling.” but of course this series chose “Clarice” as its title, so...
“the checkout lady at the Safeway asked me to autograph a melon” omg
so Clarice has supposedly been “mandated” to see an FBI therapist for an entire year? hmm.
tbh, this feels kind of like a proxy for Hannibal’s scenes in the movie, especially with the therapist calling her “Clarice.” not sure if I dig it.
“...given that your last therapist was an inmate” Hannibal reference #2!
they’re explicitly talking about Hannibal without being able to name him and it’s hilarious, frustrating, and immensely satisfying all at once.
there’s no way to avoid talking about him altogether without being disingenuous to Clarice’s eventual character arc, so I’m glad they’re ripping off the band-aid early
“you let that relationship be intimate”  Yeah, Clarice and Hannibal’s relationship IS intimate and YOU! SHOULD! SAY IT!!!
it’s kind of ridiculous for this guy/the show not to acknowledge that little trainee Clarice was sent to see Hannibal by someone who should’ve known better. That Crawford was doing it with the intention to save lives doesn’t mean he didn’t use the shit out of Clarice.
that’s not to take away her agency or minimize the choices she made after she met Hannibal. She wouldn’t have been in a position to make those choices if Crawford hadn’t arranged it, though.
even if they don’t have the rights to Crawford’s name, either (I have to assume that’s the case) couldn’t they at least mention this??
“hasn’t seen her own family in years” Are they actually going to address Clarice’s maybe-dead-maybe-not mother (depending on the canon they adopt, book or film) and possible siblings??? Please tell me they are!
Clarice’s “egregious” PTSD doesn’t have much to do with Buffalo Bill ofc, and this therapist seems to be making excuses to be the first in a long line of men getting in the way of Clarice’s career goals...
...which she recognizes and confronts him about. Call him out!!!
*Anthony Hopkins voice* That’s my girl.
the way she’s been written in this scene gives me a lot of hope going forward! she’s funny, she doesn’t take any sexist bullshit, she’s calm and polite but you get a glimpse of the rage underneath. 
wow, they promoted Senator Martin to Attorney General!
the opening credits (if you can even call them that) are a let-down, though
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she has her beads!
can anyone who’s not Hannibal please stop calling her Clarice
wonder if they’re going to touch on any of the extreme tension that existed between Senator Martin and Clarice in the novel? they didn’t interact in the movie, but in the book, Martin is under intense stress, and it doesn’t go smoothly.
of course in “Hannibal,” Martin invites her to “ride horses,” so they obviously reconciled after Catherine’s rescue and kept in some kind of touch.
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and speak of the devil: horses! (and Catherine)
“I can’t have a reputation, I’ve only done it once” Thank you for being the voice of reason, Clarice.
“Paul Krendler” *ugly screaming commences*
“you don’t have any people, Clarice” Aaand that’s the plot of the Hannibal novel!
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looks like they even gave her the ring Jodie’s Clarice wears!
oh yeah, this Krendler looks like a sumbitch if I ever saw one. No one will ever be as perfectly cast as the dude in Silence imo, but a much better fit than Ray Liotta. 
“small carat, but it’s a sweet ring” A very in-character observation probably directly informed by her comments about nail polish in Silence.
she mentions this victim’s nail polish (!) being “tasteful,” and I shrieked a little again.
I understand it’s necessary for Krendler to be a douche, but there’s not even going to be any payoff for the audience (or Clarice) when Hannibal eats him, so boo.
wait...wait, why aren’t Clarice and Ardelia in their Alexandria duplex? They’re not just best friends, they’re roommates! For the entire seven-year story! GIVE ME THE DUPLEX!!!
BUT points for Ardelia bringing Clarice a treat, since she was always leaving her candy bars in the Silence book!
Clarice interacting with the washer/dryer is a nice nod to the books, too.
speaking of... “What did we learn in the laundry room back at Quantico?” For some reason this line made me actually cry, I guess because this whole episode has been such a love letter to something I love so dearly, and it’s making me emotional.
FIRST PRINCIPLES!
DESPERATELY RANDOM!!!
wow, the men in Clarice’s new office giving her lotion as a hazing “welcome” gift is awful, and now I’m just mad (which is the point of the scene ofc).
so this ex-military OC is the John Brigham stand-in, I take it?
if that means John Brigham won’t be here, No Thanks.
Clarice telling him she’ll drive...a tribute to Dana “Why Do You Always Have to Drive?” Scully, perhaps (who was herself inspired by Clarice) as well as a nod to Clarice’s love of cars?
“Why do they call you the bride of Frankenstein?” Sorry, I don’t have the legal rights to tell you about my last intimate relationship.
“Already on my way to West Virginia Granny Witch” Look, this show could crash and burn from this scene on, and it would still have been worth it just for these first 25 minutes.
I like that Clarice is shown wanting to help people, and the scene of her with the baby is a nice call-back to the eventual shoot-out at the beginning of “Hannibal”...but I hope they don’t try to domesticate her too much. Clarice needs her hard edges. To be tough (reasonably so)--a cub growing into its big cat’s claws.
also, somehow I doubt that Miss Valedictorian spent her six years in the Lutheran home “changing a lot of diapers,” but sure, okay. If her siblings are alive in this, she might have changed their diapers!
even though Krendler’s a real dickwad so far, he’s not slimy enough for me. Needs more grease.
“I got a call from your therapist who’s concerned that you might genuinely flip out” I really do not like this subplot Sam-I-Am. Aren’t the huge glass ceiling/Boys’ Club obstacles enough?
seriously, though, I know Hannibal tells her that the metaphorical lambs will come back--at the end of Silence, though, she’s at some kind of temporary peace, not in danger of “flipping out” any time soon.
if Esquivel really is our Brigham stand-in, I’ve got...problems with that. He was Clarice’s teacher and became her friend, not some Krendler double-agent. (Also worried they’re setting him up as a love interest for her which...eesh, no thanks.)
and sorry, I actually hate that Catherine kept Precious the dog in this.
I have no problem with Catherine being a character, or with her interacting with Clarice...that said, I don’t know if her being shown as severely traumatized and reaching out to Clarice as a form of emotional lifeline is...a good idea?
I understand the symbolism of Catherine’s smashed mirror, but...smashed mirrors are already a Thing in this series (albeit not Clarice’s chapter in it), and that’s all I can think of here.
Catherine’s a victim of unthinkable trauma. Nevertheless...she’s talking to the woman who saved her life. Who risked death to do it. I just don’t like the way this scene is written. Apparently, in this show’s canon, Catherine hasn’t gotten the help she needs. But Clarice isn’t her therapist, and it’s upsetting to have Catherine being all “I’ll never be safe and neither will you.”
how does Catherine remember “the mannequins, the autopsy table”?? And why is she throwing them in Clarice’s face?
I’m going to stop talking about this scene now because it’s making me angry and a little upset, which is maybe the point? I just don’t think it’s written well. If Catherine’s going to be a recurring character, I hope she’s shown getting professional, medical help.
Clarice finding the victim’s papers in the box of pads is a direct callback to her finding the photos in the jewelry box in Silence. Nice.
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let’s agree that Hannibal and Crawford are both in Ardelia’s (too-cutesy-for-me) book
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another nice little X-Files homage?
I have some qualms about that big climax, but...meh. It was capital-F Fine.
Yikes, this is a full week late. Thanks for reading this entirely-too-long post through to the end, if you’re still here! 
To sum up my thoughts...
The Good: 
the visual connections to the Silence film (that green coat/blue knit scarf combo in particular)
Rebecca Breeds’ performance overall so far
Clarice’s strong writing/characterization
her sense of humor and her inclination to call out bullshit
maybe it was just me, but I also got a sense of Hannibal’s influence on her in some of her dialogue--her blunt observations--and I love it
Ardelia Mapp
the repeated in-your-face references to Hannibal Lecter
the respectful, non-exploitative way the victims were treated by the narrative.
let’s just say, not all Harris-inspired shows managed to do this. :)
the many, many allusions to the novel
“you let that relationship be INTIMATE” !!!
The Bad: 
the near-constant implication that all Clarice’s trauma stems from her experiences in Gumb’s basement
I just don’t understand this one...it’s not supported by the text imo
the “Clarice-is-a-psychological-loose-canon” subplot
almost everyone calling her “Clarice”
NO DUPLEX IN ALEXANDRIA! Boo!
Esquivel maybe replacing Brigham
the narrative choices they’ve made surrounding Catherine so far.
Seriously: please let Catherine seek/get help instead of screaming “HELP ME” at Clarice, who after all risked her own life to save Catherine’s, over the phone.
The Ugly: Paul Krendler, lol. Confession time: I also don’t care for the way they’ve styled her hair. Not sure why it bugs me, it just...does.
Overall, I’m thrilled to death with this. I was so afraid it would be disappointing, so even if it’s not a five-star episode (and pilots rarely are), it’s a great beginning! It’s beyond amazing to see our girl on the screen again. Just this hour-long episode did her character way more justice than the entire Hannibal film. Despite its shortcomings, it’s such a loving homage to characters and a story that mean a lot to me, and I love it just for that.
Going forward, I’d like to see more of Clarice as a person. Her hobbies and interests--cars, sharpshooting, running, fashion magazines stuffed under her bed, horseback riding, her total inability to cook...anything would do. I of course want to see more of her with Ardelia. I want to hear more about her backstory and find out which version of it (truly orphaned when her father dies or sent away by her mother) they’ll choose to explore. And while we all agree that this show is about Clarice and she don’t need no man, I won’t lie: I’d gobble up more sly references to Hannibal. He’s her endgame, after all.
I’d also like to really see the warrior underneath. There are flashes of her in the last twenty minutes of this episode. But Clarice Starling is a big cat, she’s a warrior, she’s between iron and silver. I’d hate for her to spend most of this show doe-eyed and traumatized. I want her to be ferocious, to see the woman who’s a match for the monster.
Krendler needs to get nastier. He should make us feel like we need to shower. In the novels, he wants to use Clarice--only for her body. And when she won’t allow him to, he takes his revenge. That’s what makes him so particularly awful. Let’s amp him up here.
And finally...maybe I’ll appreciate Catherine’s scene more on a second watch. Maybe I’m not being sensitive enough to her trauma, her struggles. But I didn’t like the way that scene was staged or scripted, and I didn’t like the suggestion that she just hasn’t gotten help after a year and is subsequently taking her pain out on Clarice on some level. I hope future episodes handle this subplot, and her character, a bit better.
Please let me know if you guys would like me to do another of these monstrosities for the next episode. (I promise it won’t take me an entire week this time!) And thank you again for reading!!! 
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faunusrights · 4 years
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OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 17
IN THIS EPISODE OF CRYING CAT GALLERY:
“Nice?” Cinder laughed under her breath once, and returned to examining her threads. “Oh, come on, Glynda. Favor isn’t in my vocabulary, remember? It’s just a shame about your cape. The emblem looked good, and your new outfit would look much better with it. That’s all.”
CINDER FALL IS REALLY BAD AT NOT BEING GAY ON MAIN
we’re bacc baby B) let’s hop right in
When Glynda awoke from her dream of being consumed,
alright calm down we’ve literally JUST started we’ve literally JUST woken up can we chill Out,
“Cinder?” she yawned, surveying the room.
sneak peek of that Sweet Domestic Life we dream of once this enemies-to-lovers malarkey reaches the ‘lovers’ bit but no we’re just surrounded by enemies. two of them being the writers!
Still, she couldn’t go wandering around Cinder’s apartment in only her underwear, but rooting through the drawers and closet didn’t seem— 
STEAL HER CLOTHES BABY!!!! PRACTICALLY MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The clothes didn’t seem Cinder’s size or style; they were casual and soft, a black t-shirt and steel-gray sweatpants.
okay but the idea of cinder getting up and being like ‘do i have ANYTHING this Unit of a woman will fit into’ and like actually having to think abt it and then folding em up and leaving em there like ‘hope she finds em okay’????? peak. absolutely peak. shes so gay but does she know it? no,
The fabric had enough give to make it work, even if only barely, and she looked in the mirror to see the loungewear looking more like tight athletic wear. Funny that.
kc and diesel envisioning this: oh yes. oh YES. ohhohughohguhghuhu yessssssssss--
She had—trusted? Been trusted? She had told Cinder fragile little things, and had heard similarly earnest words in return. It had been strange. Nice.
i love glynda like. feeling out of the edges of her own comfort and Pleasant Feelings with this almost-wariness? like every word she uses to describe it just Edges a little closer to Softness but she has to taste the word first to see if it fits. her narration is SO fun 2 read yall what the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
This was Cinder’s house. It wasn’t just any house. These were Cinder’s belongings, Cinder’s resting places, and she was wandering around without Cinder.
Voyeuristic was putting it mildly. Glynda needed to find Cinder, fast.
HJGDKJGHDFSSDF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! glynda just. losing it at such LITTLE THINGS is so goddamn funny jesus christ. this is cinders house!!! her THINGS!!! fuck she NAPS IN HERE. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
god i love how soft this is. i know exactly why this is happening and i know exactly how [REDACTED], but i’m living for this moment. living IN it.
Spread out on the table was a wanted poster with a mugshot of Cinder on it, defaced with black permanent marker and crease marks.
cinder: yeah they didnt get the eyebrows sharp enough and im mad abt it
“Well, your clothes are in the wash.” Cinder said, turning around, coffee in hand. It was so…domestic. “It would help if you had more than one set.”
shouting from a distance: you two should get MARRIED
“You’ve been wearing the same dress the entire time I’ve known you.”
look at these lil JABS... the JESTS... the JOQUES... i cant believe theyve been married 10 years already. im also deeply enjoying how very indulgent this section is. I Am Seeing,
Glynda scoffed, and when Cinder reached for the sugar on the counter, she gave it a subtle nudge with her Semblance. It slid out of Cinder’s reach.
JESUS CHRIST LOOK AT THIS WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! soulmates.
Cinder shrugged, still looking elsewhere. “Mercury thought it was funny.”
“Mercury?”
cinder: my son and BOY. and, one day, yr son and boy, tho he won’t take it lying down.
Cinder scoffed. “You just don’t appreciate my good tastes.”
i feel like the evidence is truly stacking up to very much prove this statement wrong but u kno what lets let her figure that one out for herself
“A souvenir from the brats,” she said. “And a letter excusing the mess they made of the place.”
KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS
She said, “I just didn’t know you had kids.”
KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS
“It’s fine,” said Cinder tersely, but not harshly. “It isn’t wise to advertise in my business, so keep it to yourself.”
KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD YES that little like... indirect admittance that em and merc r basically her own kids is a fucking BLESSING from ON HIGH are you SEEING THIS SHIT????????????? we have been fed today. my crops r watered and my lambs bouncing over the green fields as we feast. what a moment. wow. what a chapter.
When Cinder finally finished hers and rose to get another cup, Glynda allowed some of her thoughts to solidify. She said, “I want new clothes.”
as a side note, i think it rly shows the strength of the writing that the feeling of the narrative can change so much, esp when u take into consideration that we jump between the points of view of TWO characters? like with cinder we’ve gone from sheer fury to gruesome sickness, and with glynda we’ve gone from Complete Dissociation to this gentle and soft morning and you can feel it absolutely fluffing up in every word! still love how good the writing in this fic is its NUTS
Cinder shrugged. Her usual clothes were still in the wash; right now, she was wearing high-waisted black pants and a loose top tucked in.
diesel i want you to know im thinking abt what u said abt the high-waisted pants mods in sims 4 and im giggling
The necklace with Glynda’s earring hung from her throat.
i didnt mention it before but this is the... second time this chapter its been explicitly mentioned? and i know we could be like ‘ah the MEANING’ but honestly im like glynda r u rly not over the bobbies y
“You aren’t dead in there, are you?” came Cinder’s voice.
“No.”
“Well. At this pace, I will be before we get out of here.”
cinder, who probably once spent 7+ hours choosing an outfit: look its only cool if i do it, dipshit,
Unsnapping the lone earring left to her, she brought it to her collar and fixed it there, under the clasped button to dangle just over her sternum.
When she stepped out of the changing room, Cinder looked up. A slow dawn of interest eclipsed the boredom on her face. Glynda stood very still as her gaze flowed up and down again, pausing over the earring.
Cinder touched the matching one hanging from her own neck, almost in surprise. She cleared her throat. Her tone was very deliberately mocking: “Cute.”
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OOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD are we for SERIOUS right now??? jesus christ. jesus christ. we’ve moved on past married now this is ride-or-die shit right here what the FUCK. jesus CHRIST. theres- i- i have THOUGHTS on this matter that are spoilery and so i will SIT ON THIS EGG but HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT
“Nothing,” Cinder said, smoothing her expression into something unreadable. “I was just thinking—nevermind.” 
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no, no, go on, speak yr mind, please do, because if u were abt to offer to embroider that shit then PLEASE say it aloud for the audience at home
“If I was a cop, you’d already be in jail.”
“You’re welcome to try to take me in, darling.”
im sure its obvious but im BESIDE myself @ this flirting. im losing it. this is SUCH a treat and i KNOW that [REDACTED] [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
“That’s because of your—” Cinder was already gone. Glynda pressed her lips together, but watched her go. Rolling her eyes, she finished, “—Grimm tattoos.”
Whatever. She could gloat about figuring it out later.
/CHOKES
WHAT
@kc and diesel: CALL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK
okay okay. wait. okay. wait. theres. wait. okay. i cant. am i safe to say anything. probably not. so. im not gonna. but. you WILL be seeing me in dms, friends,
okay okay im moving on im gonna. keep going. okay. okay. im going. (but i will be in dms)
there was a brief discussion of dinner: namely, that neither of them wanted to make it.
oh god why is this me
“Give me your new cape.”
“What?”
Finally looking up, Cinder said, “Your cape. Let me have it, and I’ll put your emblem on it.”
THANK YOU MA’AM AND THANK YOU FOR READING THE FIC HAS ENDED ITS ALL OVER WITH!!!!!! WE DID IT!!!!!!! WE RODE THIS WHOLE TRAIN TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!! UNFORTUNATELY IF ONLY IT WERE SO EASY.
Glynda ignored it for the time being and sent the vector of her emblem to Cinder.
i deeply love the idea of all hunters and huntresses carrying a vector of their emblem JUST IN CASE,,, SMTHNG HAPPENS,,, its right alongside the list of their next of kin and their will and testament,
Cinder Fall was a name built on Dust and money and extravagant demonstrations.
But Cinder Fall was also a woman with a family. A home. A favorite blend of coffee.
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this is absolutely kicking me in the dick for reasons i cant say but also for reasons of SNOFT because oh my god. this is. like. this is why i rly vibe w. cinder in this fic and is also like one of my favourite characterisations of cinder of ALL TIME (which is why all my fav cinder fics typically have it as a Theme). shes SO good and SO dimensional and i just. god. GOD. i LOVE HER!!!!!!!!! ID DIE FOR HER!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA CINDER FALL IS MY ANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL
It felt like being told a secret, like being told a thousand secrets, and not knowing what to do with them. All she could do was hold them in her palms, delicate as she could, trying not to break anything.
GIMME ARMS TO PRAY WITH INSTEAD OF ONES THAT HOLD TOO TIGHTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /goes apeshit
And because of that, Glynda asked, “Do you have any more stories?”
Without looking up, Cinder drawled, “About Witches?”
“Or dragons.”
Gold flickered her way.
👈😳👈
“They’d already been built by the Witches that came before her,” Cinder replied. “But she’d been a headmaster at one of them, and a teacher before that.”
Something in Glynda’s chest gleamed.
lore lore lore lore LORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lets GET THAT LORE as i peer blearily thru tears,
“...You haven’t just been pretending not to remember things, have you?”
firstly: called out lmao JHGSDFKJHGFSD and SECONDLY:
“The moon?” Cinder made a face. “I’m not sure if it’s that literal. Your soul is powerful, but it’s not a physical thing. Besides, the moon is…”
“Broken,” Glynda finished for her.
“Yeah.”
hm what a fascinating thing hm how interesting hm hm HMMMM 👈🤔👈
Even as they ate, they both seemed lost in their own heads, but somehow, to Glynda, it seemed perfectly clear that both of them were wondering the same thing.
wait glynda. hey glynda. did u uh. ever. did u uh. text winter back or w
WE DID IT CHAPTER 17!!!!!!!!!!! this was a Lot (4,500 words? yall better be careful before those 10k chapters return to Haunt Us) and was also, a Lot. holy shit. theres. i. id make a spoiler edition but tbh its just the SAME SPOILER thats like. rly driving this chapter. i know what its for. i know it. i feel it. dont trust winter more like dont trust the writers
ANYWAY I LOOK FORWARD (?) EAGERLY (???) to chapter 18, unsure when the vibes will turn rancid for the worse. when. honey. theres a big storm coming.
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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 months
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it’s 5am, today I get to do something that happens only once every two years in my household, I am currently craving poke but haven’t had one in 8 months, never had boba in my life, I’m eating crackers wishing it was something else, and I look like this:
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seems like the perfect time to write 💅🏻
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a-very-fond-farewell · 3 months
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theme of the night: burnout
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a-very-fond-farewell · 3 months
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me: oh maybe today I’ll leave my village and go to the city for a stroll
me: *surrounded by pretty women from all sides*
me: *YEARNS*
so.. that was a mistake. time to write my feelings away.
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guess who fucked around and found out? 👯‍♀️💅🏻😌 (I pulled smth in my right knee 😎)
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tried to take a day off from writing. still woke up at 5am. let’s write then 😈🔥
#sneaky niki#lamb loose liveblogging#I wanted to take a day off.. but my brain is now accustomed to wake up at 5 I guess??#that’s so not fetch of me#topic of the day is:#I’m pissed bc I had to make a sensible decision and move a plot point a few chapters down the line#which is not fun#but feels more organic#judging by the way I’m keeping steady on this fic I think it will reach 300k#that’s a rough estimate#maybe 280k if I’m being generous instead of acting like a sadistic prick#but that’s just a theory#HDS is making it extremely hard for me to keep a steady pacing too#for example. recently he’s been giving me headache after headache about his growing sense of paranoia#he knows he isn’t sleeping enough#he knows he’s stressed af#the only reason why he has to trust one or two people in his life is bc he will turn absolutely insane if he doesn’t#and this is not me shaming#I remember how I was at my most paranoid during a prolonged episode#trust me. that ain’t fun#but he’s starting to hear things. that’s concerning. that’s suspicious. he needs help#but as usual. he refuses to acknowledge his limitations#also. attic-wifing your nemesis maybe isn’t a safe starting point to discuss with a trained professional during therapy#do criminals go to therapy?#I mean. not convicted ones. I do believe it’s part of their reintegration program. good for them#but like.. sneaky criminals? big fish evading taxes? one inconspicuous attorney holding his amnesiac crush hostage?#idk mate this is fiction#you have fun today ok?#go hug someone. or a pet. or a tree.#:D
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went to the flower fare 😔 saw a bunch of pretty women 😔 this was a mistake 👯‍♀️
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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 months
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maybe I need someone to get me spiritual salt or smth for this arm. it’s getting intense. (Reigen will save me)
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time to write!
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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 months
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fellas the grind is turning my right arm into dust and there’s no sexual innuendo in there bc
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so to the keyboard we go instead!
#sneaky niki#lamb loose liveblogging#using this format again bc that edit is still funny to me#anyway I miss drawing#I would really like to draw some of YGG’s fits but with this fucked up hand situation that I have going on I don’t think I can#so to the typewriter we go#not literally although that would be great#me going *clackity clack* on one of those babies#it’s currently 5 and smth a.m.#theme of the day: YGG is impatient and bitchy and we love her#classic trope of: great character. terrible person#perfect time for a little exploration of her way of thinking#basically if you ask her to let you be for a couple of weeks or so she’s going to grow bored of you and remind you of your place#I feel like her unpredictability is her biggest flaw#she’s different from SDY in the sense that SDY does know how to play to society’s rules#he’s not pretending to be smth he is not. he just hides the scary bits in front of potential investors and clients#he even brought KJY a stupid plant once. it’s the bare minimum but he knows he has to do it otherwise people will nag about that#HDS on the other hand is split in half which can’t be healthy: he’s so ashamed to be seen as a gangster that he compartmentalizes too much#YGG has made her life The Trend. she is The Moment.#people want to be her and channel her power#imagine c//oco c//hanel but make it more evil somehow#the minute people think they got the YGG’s lifestyle covered from the A to the Z.. she flips and changes#and somehow she’ll make fun of you for even trying#she will steal your original idea and corner you for plagiarism#she’ll feel amused you tried to copy her and offer u a position in her company just to fire you before a big deal so you can’t reap benefits#she doesn’t abide to societal norms one bit. she makes new rules instead#and she gets away with it bc (in true Boa fashion) ‘she is beautiful ✨’#so yeah. HDS is dealing with THAT and signed a contract with THAT piece of work :I#no wonder KOJ tried to escape her#ok these are the vibes for today! have a great time peeps :)
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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 months
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it’s bloodwork day so I cannot eat until my appointment later into the morning (close to lunch, so I can eat smth afterwards), but boi if it isn’t stressful looking at crackers ang go 👀. and they aren’t even good crackers to begin with! time to write the hunger away.
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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 months
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as I wait for artms to feed us crumbs, I guess it’s gonna be a ‘sweet crazy love’ on repeat until I pass out kind of writing session 😔🙄💅🏻
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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 months
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my country is a joke, groceries cost double, I’m very mad about personal stuff too. seems a good time to write eh?
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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 months
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I haven’t written in 2 days :(
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a-very-fond-farewell · 2 months
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trying some deranged shit today (woke up at 5am to write before my worldly chores)
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