#i wish my art tablet would charge so i could draw them. i love them so much

[notwhatyoucameherefor]

I love treating the bible like a scifi novel. This is still about fancherbs btw

[zolisa]

My name is Zolisa Gumede. I am a writer with the 100 Sailors and I feel honoured that the Sailors' Review is publishing an article about my first ever novel. My inspiration for the book happened the way it always happens with all my art in a slightly unorthodox manner. As far back as in 2017 I was having what I call 'a still moment' and the story just came. In one minute it wasn’t there and in the next it was in my thoughts. Though this wasn’t all of the story but just the beginning of it. I remember the feelings of it were so intense. The ideas that accompanied those feelings just had to be put down. I couldn’t resist the need to write a story about the intrigue of human relationships, about the many faces of love, and about the flaws of love. Originally it was supposed to be a romantic saga but as I wrote it just turned into a crime drama.

The title ‘The Fight Room’ came as I was thinking about how to title a story about the human struggle when it hit me. The human struggle is a fight, it’s a battle to conquer ourselves so the word ‘fight’ naturally fit into the title. Our humanity is so beautiful, so frustrating, so limiting, broken yet whole and I wanted to write about that. Well, the other part of the title comes from the story’s setting. The core of the story is about a couple of characters who are fighting through their human condition by getting help from the Doc, a psychologist. It’s because so many personal battles happen in the Doc’s office that her patients starts to refer to her office as the fight room. The plot itself came to me as a flash in my thoughts. I remember as I wrote the first page it was supposed to be a short story but it began to have a life of its own. The characters started to just come alive as I wrote.

We are introduced to The Fight Room through Mark. He is a drug addict trying to keep his head above water but then addiction is something he somewhat actually enjoys. The Doc’s offices also introduce us to a couple trying to get normalcy after a miscarriage and we see the fractures in who they are and in their marriage life and wish it wasn’t so. In the fight room we witness battles of mental illness and the destruction caused by mental illness misbehaviour. Then we see humanness in weakness, in strength, grief, spirituality, all the way to the point of murder. When I started writing this story I didn't quite know these characters but I knew they were real and had to be given voice. So I just kept on penning them and they grew in me and on paper. The story kept going and when it should have ended, when blood had been split and revenge had not been taken, I knew that there was a bit more to be written. The story wasn’t done. Some of the characters like Moffatt, who had been tricked to take a murder charge for his wife, still had a thing or two to do. So as I wrote what I was certain was the book’s last chapter, I knew that the story would fit a duology. The book has 13 chapters and epilogue. I kept it short because the reader and I had to accept what had happened in it before facing what will happen next to Ndlovu, to Moffatt or the self righteous Lin.

For “The Fight Room” I used a merge of narrative and descriptive writing. I think I chose to merger these forms of writing because they enabled me not only to map out the story but to take the reader into the character’s mind and feelings so that these characters could be seen as they truly are. It was the descriptive writing that I felt would draw the readers into the characters’ thoughts and feelings which revealed aspects of the characters that they themselves don’t even know exist. Like how the dark places of Lin’s “angelic personality” are revealed when the reader is taken into her thoughts. The narrative writing I loved to use for the flashbacks and to show the connections of the characters’ lives to each other. Through the narration at Thandi’s funeral we discover that she wasn’t insomniac who couldn’t keep a relationship but was suffering a mental illness that affected her long term memory.

The first chapters of the book zero in on different characters, introducing us to their lives and their battles while weaving the story toward the events that turn the lives of ordinary people into a world of violence and deceit. Though the book starts off as if telling a story about separate themes in the end it becomes about one thing – survival of the fittest.

The book is available on amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Fight-Room-Zolisa-Gumede-ebook/dp/B08KJG9YGF/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Zolisa+Gumede&qid=1606391117&sr=8-1

I do believe you will enjoy it. You can contact me via email on gumedezolisa@gmail.com. I’m also available on facebook – Zolisa Gumede. My cell number is +263773715610.

[pillowfluffs]

Sing For Me Please!Kihyun

Pairing: Kihyun X Reader (gender neutral)

Genre: Fluff

Summary: You loved to sing but you always hid it from Kihyun until one day.. 

Author’s Note: I relate a lot tbh. I love singing but when nights with my family such as karaoke come, I don’t even sing.. Do you like singing? As always, feedback is greatly appreciated and please look forward to more works in the future!

Song Referenced: Ellie Goulding - How Long Will I Love You

Music filled your ears without effort, like the waves filling holes in beach sand. The rhythm of it flowed through your veins and swirled in your head. Your body swayed at the gentle sounding music and the soft vocals of the vocalist you were listening to. The sweet sound of Ellie’s voice as well as yours matching hers. You followed along to her song while it played on your phone with your earbuds in. The volume was just right where you could hear your own voice and hear the music. You sat in your shared bedroom folding laundry, even hanging some up. Most of it was your boyfriend, Kihyun’s clothes. He was away on tour and came back just two days ago. You insisted he should stay home and rest since he had about five more days before getting back to work for their next comeback, but he was determined to make up for the days he was gone. You didn’t know how he was going to do it and you didn’t know when either.

Today Kihyun and his members had an event to go to, or at least that’s what he said. Kihyun left around noon, kissing you goodbye and headed out towards the company. About an hour and a half later and here he was at the supermarket, struggling a little bit with pulling out a shopping cart from the long line of carts outside the entrance. He wore a simple white hoodie with black jeans and vans. He brought Minhyuk and Wonho along because they felt rather bored at the dorm. Kihyun put all his strength into trying to pull the cart out of the chain of carts, seeming like it wouldn’t budge. He had a bag of reusable plastic bags hanging from his shoulder.

Wonho and Minhyuk approached the struggling hamster after parking the car. They watched in amusement. “Need help?” Minhyuk offered, chipper than ever. He walked over, replacing Kihyun. “If I can pull this out, then that’s just sad, Kihyun.” Minhyuk shook his head at him. He wore Black jeans with a white shirt and shoes with a black denim jacket. 

“It’s hard to pull out!” He stepped aside, watching trying to pull it out. “It’s not just me being weak, and If I can’t then you definitely can’t!” He laughed.

Minhyuk grasped the handle of the cart feeling the cold plastic and metal. The smile on his face began to fade as he pulled, giving a few hard tugs. “Wait why is this so hard?” He began to pull harder, enough to shake the other carts with it. 

“See?” Kihyun joined again, helping Minhyuk. “It’s not just ‘cause I’m weak!” They pulled hard, their faces began to scrunch up. “Pull harder!” Kihyun could feel the time being wasted even though it had only been a few minutes.

Wonho stood on the side leaning on a railing, recording the two of them as he laughed at them. “You two are so funny,” his voice shook as he laughed, his smile spread all over his face, flashing his straight white teeth as his eyes formed crescents. 

“You give it a try then!” Minhyuk pushed Kihyun and himself out the way, gesturing for Wonho to try. “Here, give me your phone, I’ll record you since you recorded us.” He took Wonho’s phone and began recording. 

Wonho calmly walked up the cart, wrapping one hand around the handle and pulled. He wore gray sweatpants with a black shirt. The cart came out with ease, leaving another bright smile plastered on his face as he looked at the two dumbfounded younger members. “I got the cart,” he burst out giggling at them, taking his phone back. 

“Whatever, let’s just shop,” Kihyun mumbled in embarrassment, taking the cart and leading into the cold aired supermarket. 

“We loosened it for you.” Minhyuk playfully nudged Wonho, making him laugh more as he watched the two videos on his phone following Kihyun through the automatic glass doors. 

The three entered the market, faced with row after row of cash registers, some closed since today was a weekday so fortunately, it didn’t face the weekend rush of things. Music from a popular radio station played softly through the speakers. The white lights on the ceiling reflected on the white floor tiles, making the place look somehow brighter and cleaner than the warm sun outside. Some customers walked through the aisles pushing carts, some with baskets. The first section of the market they faced was the bakery.

You sang along with the song as it was on loop, fixing parts here and there everytime it played again. You took all the chances you could to sing whenever Kihyun wasn’t home, but the reason behind it made the most sense to you. He was the main vocalist of an idol group while you were his significant other. So far in your life, you had never done anything musically; you didn’t play an instrument, you never took any lessons for vocals. The only thing you did musically was take the mandatory music classes required to graduate. Well, technically, in high school, the school required you to have a fine art credit and you weren’t as confident with drawing and painting than music so in high school, you took piano classes, which later on, you got lessons for a few years for, but stopped when college came around. It was only then did you play the piano but only when you had absolutely free time which was still rare.

You put away the final articles of clothing into the drawers in your bedroom. You laid on your bed, thinking about any other chores you had to do before Kihyun’s return, which you didn’t even know when it was. “I cleaned the bathrooms, did the laundry and put them away.. Vacuumed yesterday..” You really had nothing else to do for the day since which meant you could just sing. You pushed yourself up, grabbing your now fully charged tablet, going down the stairs at a somewhat fast pace, going straight down the basement stairs. Your basement was tied in first place as your favorite room in the house along with your bedroom. It was so cozy and comfortable. Once down the staircase, there was a bookshelf taking up an entire wall, filled with books, half of which you read. In front of the shelf was a couch with pillows and blankets where you spent most of your free time reading if not singing. But this time, you weren’t going to read. You quickly pulled open TubeYou, a popular app letting you post or watch videos. You quickly typed in the search for “Ellie Goulding How Long Will I Love You piano” where a moment later, millions of results popped up. You clicked on the first video, posted by an account you were subscribed to. You sat in the corner of the basement at a grand piano where you faced the corner of a room, facing a window which looked into your backyard. You couldn’t help the smile growing on your face since the last time you played this song was when Kihyun was on tour and you had gotten significantly better. 

You paused the music playing on your phone, plugging your earbuds into your tablet, placing it against the music rack, pressing play. You followed along with the video, singing without Ellie’s vocals. You wished you could play this for Kihyun one day, considering he told you he always listened to this song when he missed you and it expressed a good amount of his love for you.

“So what else do you need to get?” Minhyuk and Wonho were preoccupied, slowly walking down the snack aisle as Kihyun walked through, scanning the list of groceries for the house and dorm in general and the ingredients he needed. The cart was filled with various meats and greens, along with some frozen foods in case they couldn’t go out to eat, nor did they have time to make a full meal. Wonho grabbed a box of protein bars, placing them in the cart next to the energy drinks.

“Don’t forget to get snacks for the others.” Kihyun glanced upwards, seeing Wonho place his snacks in. “Uhhm,” his voice was barely audible to them as they continued scanning for possible snacks to bring home. He paused the cart at the end of the aisle, glancing from his list and cart, pulling a pen out and crossing off things he had already gotten. “I just need to get noodles and broth,” he basically said to himself as the two were in the back, bickering about which snack was better. He tucked the list into his pants pocket along with the pen and made his way towards the noodle aisle, leaving the two behind.

He pushed the cart, glancing around at things on sale, looking up the signs which informed shoppers what each aisle contained. All of a sudden, his mind buzzed to you. He thought how much power you had over him and you hadn’t the slightest clue at all. He dreaded leaving you at home alone while he went out on tour, especially out of the country, which was almost all tours now. The distance, the different time zones where he would be awake and you would be asleep or you would be awake and he would be asleep. As much as you two made it work, he couldn’t help but feel like a burden to you. To be in a relationship where you two hardly saw each other. You, of course, said it a countless amount of times but meant it each time when you told him you understood. You even told him how you felt like the burden. He wouldn’t feel this way unless you didn’t flirt back to him. He looked up to see the aisle he needed to be in. He began turning into the aisle, along with the other two catching up to him, a few snacks in each of their arms, dumping them into the cart.

You sat at the piano, the song coming back with ease into your head so it was basic muscle memory. You couldn’t quite hear yourself that well with your earbuds. You paused the music, swapping your earbuds for over the ear headphones, beginning once again, hearing everything evenly. “A few more practices and then I can perform it for Kihyun..” you thought excitedly to yourself, smiling as you sang along with the music. You had known Kihyun for a while; he knew you better than you knew yourself, except for this little part. As much as you wanted to show him this side of you, you just couldn’t. You two were equals and treated each other like so. He never criticized you for anything except when you were sick, he would tell you “I told you so,” for not wearing enough layers, but aside from that, nothing else. You confused yourself.

“However long you say~ How long will I love you? As long as stars are above you, and longer if I may,” the softness and smoothness of Ellie’s voice suited yours perfectly. Her voice wasn’t too high so the song, fortunately, didn't pose a challenge. You were able to match her tone and pitch, or at least you thought. You weren’t a musical expert like Kihyun, but you hoped he would enjoy it. The song was instrumented beautifully with the piano accompaniment, though it lacked something small due to the nonexistent drums, this didn’t stop you. You kept singing the song and playing it on repeat in your own little world.

“Let’s get these all home quickly so you guys can get your ice cream back home before it all melts.” Kihyun pushed the cart towards the car in the somewhat barren parking lot. “Minhyuk, trunk.”

Without a word, Minhyuk pulled out the car keys, unlocking the car, holding a button which opened the automatic car trunk. He held the cart as Kihyun and Wonho began loading the bags into the car, closing it and returning the cart swiftly. The sun was at the beginning of the setting, giving off a golden light. Fortunately, they were ahead of rush hour, able to drive through the clear streets before they were filled with cars going home from work. Music played through the car, the two in the front jamming out as Kihyun sat in the back of his phone.

“They haven’t texted me..” Kihyun opened his messages, not seeing any new ones since he landed, which he found somewhat strange. He scrolled through the previous messages, rereading the messages you sent, talking about each other’s day. He pulled up his contacts, pressing on your contact to call you. He watched as they passed other cars and pedestrians, glancing towards the orange, golden, and blue skies. The phone continued to ring, only to end with an automatic voicemail. He remembered when you first got your new phone, you didn’t make an official voicemail since you said you hated your voice, especially a recording of it. Now thinking about you, he never really understood why you hated your voice since he found it so soothing himself, especially on nights when he couldn’t sleep so you would wrap yourself around him, telling him fantasy stories you made up right on the spot, drawing imaginary shapes on his chest or stomach.

The longer you played and sang, the better you felt. You were in your own little world, playing your piano, singing a song you knew meant a lot to Kihyun. You felt as if you gave this video most of its views since you believed you were the only one who played this video more than anyone in the world. You were soon able to play without following the video.

“Okay, it’s time,” you spoke to yourself, removing the headphones and shutting off the tablet, neatly moving them to the side. You turned off your phone, moving it to the side with the tablet. You didn’t need any distractions. You needed perfection for this song. You counted off in your head, beginning to play the melody, humming the beginning of the song before singing the lyrics. The lyrics were no challenge for you since they were memorized into your head after listening to it so many times. Now all you had to do was match the tone and pitch with the piano as you sang.

You had to admit, being a singer was no easy thing, especially the idols where they danced and moved so much; there was so much they had to do, memorize lyrics, memorize choreography, where most of the times, were made by someone else. You were astonished how Kihyun and his members did it, especially since they created their own lyrics, pouring their soul into everything they did and will do.

The car pulled into the familiar neighborhood, stopping and pulling into the driveway. “Do you need our help to bring stuff in?” Wonho looked back in his seat to see Kihyun already slinging bags over his arms with the keys to your house in hand.

“No, it’s okay. Get back home though, the ice cream isn’t as cold as before.” He began closing the trunk. “Bye.” He waved them off as they drove away, turning the radio back up. He walked toward your front door, four plastic bags in his arms filled with groceries and snacks. He slid the key in, unlocking the door to be met with the dim sound of the piano playing the recognizable song of Ellie Goulding. He walked toward the kitchen after removing his shoes, placing the bags onto the island.

“I guess they’re reading,” Kihyun wondered to himself as he began to place the groceries that needed to be refrigerated into your somewhat empty fridge. It wouldn’t be the first time he came home to you blasting music with the bluetooth speaker of yours as you read a book, but as he continued to listen, he heard the voice singing wasn’t Ellie’s. He paused immediately, slowly making his way towards the basement, following the music. He stepped down the stairs lightly, trying not to let them creak. He was met with you, playing the piano, singing along, a wide smile making his eyes turn into crescents as he sat himself down on the stairs, absorbing your voice and the way you played the piano.

“How long will I want you, as long as you want me to, and longer by far~ How long will I hold you, as long as your father told you, as long as you can~” Your voice was as smooth and honeyed as Ellie’s as she sang. Yours matched hers very well in Kihyun’s opinion. You couldn’t help the smile on your face grow as you felt very confident and content with how you were currently playing and singing it than your past few tries. “This is the one,” your smile affected your singing only a tad bit, but you were able to adjust to it.

Kihyun lifted himself up with the help of the banister, slowly and quietly making his way over to you so he stood behind you, looming over your shoulders. He was mesmerized with your long fingers as they played each chord and note perfectly. His cheeks were sore from his wide smile, but he couldn’t help it since he had never seen or heard you sing nor play the piano. He had to place his hands over his chest to calm his heart, afraid you would hear how loud it was pounding.

You let the final chord ring out, closing your eyes to listen as it echoed around the room off the walls. The sound of clapping and a sudden feeling of someone’s arms around your back startled you, making you shriek until you realized it was Kihyun. “Oh my god, you scared me!” You turned in your seat, staring into his eyes as he stood above you. A sudden heat bloomed through your entire body until you realized Kihyun had heard you.

“You sing so well!” He cupped your face with his hands with the biggest smile on his face. “Why haven’t you ever sung for me? We could do a duet.”

You looked at anything but his eyes, you couldn’t meet them. You sighed, placing your hands over his, removing them so now you held them. “I don’t like my voice, remember? And it probably wasn’t good anyways,” your voice was quiet, almost inaudible to him as you turned away, closing the fallboard over the keys.

“No, your voice was,” he paused as he sat next to you on the seat. “I don’t even know a word for it since it was so good.” He playfully nudged you. He knew your voice wasn’t something you loved, but now he just had more reasons to add to his list of why he loved you so much.

“Horrendous?” You played with your fingers in your lap, not wanting to look into his.

“Hey, no. The complete opposite. Your voice is my favorite, everything about you is my favorite.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, peppering kisses on your cheek. He knew your weakness and how to use it, especially in a time like this.

A warm feeling slowly spread from your chest, making you smile. “You know, since you told me about it, I actually wanted to play and sing the song for you.” You turned your head, playfully looking at him, adoring his features.

“Really?” He was flattered as he raised his eyebrows.

You nodded, resting your head on his shoulder. “I’ve been practicing singing and playing the piano again when you’re not home.”

“Woah, woah, wait just a minute. First of all, wow, my significant other is so talented, like me. And second, playing the piano again?” He emphasized the last word as he sat up, trying to lean his head forward so he could meet your face and eyes.

“Oh, yeah, I never told you but I’ve been playing piano since high school..” You lifted your head, looking into his.

His eyes were wide as well as his eyebrows still raised. “Any other surprises?” He broke out into laughter from his own voice.

You shook your head, your smile appearing once again as you intertwined your fingers with his.

“Well, I technically only heard half of the song so..” He squeezed your hands with his.

“I don’t know, Kihyun..”

“Sing for me, please?” He lifted the fallboard. “I’ll play, you just sing.” He gave you his puppy eyes, another thing you couldn’t resist. He played the first chord, looking at you with pleading eyes.

You sighed, humming the beginning note. He continued playing as you continued singing, spending the rest of the night playing more songs, singing them together.

~~~~~

Masterlist for more!

[jmyamigliore]

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Reiki Healing Music With 3 Minute Timer

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[luffie]

An honest review of Corel Painter 2018, from an artist who has been using it since version 8. 

Painter is like the most beautiful lady, filled with so many bad habits that never change. 

And I say so with all my heart.First, let me get this straight, I love Painter, I wish I could be using Painter for all my painting needs. Alas, after giving Painter a chance for so long, I realize that love is a life long journey, and it’s better to be married with someone who has a great character than just beauty, and that someone is Photoshop. 

But sometimes, for an exciting fling with ex, I go back to Painter just occasionally, hah. 

Now lets get to the good sexy points first:

PROS 

Painter has the most robust brush engine in a painting software available today. The options for adjusting it are so diverse, that it can be a little daunting to anyone who hasn’t use it before. 

Painter has the best brushes to mimic traditional media. Once you tried it, you will know it. The oils, pens and palette knives are some of the tools that I wish other software have. 

Painter can apply different colors to each bristle of the brush, hence creating that organic multi-color strokes that is very difficult, if not impossible to do in other software. 

Painter can “paint on a path”, which is super amazing. Which means you can use that oil brush and still achieve a very sleek finish even with complex shapes, while varying degrees of pressure and strokes to make it look natural. 

Take a look at some of the line work I did using Painter: 

Look at the lovely brushstrokes on their hairs, and sleek line work through out all 3 art. These are easily achievable in Painter. Their natural brushes are so good that I’ve never had to create my own brushes, they are good right out of the box. 

Painter also has a palette for mixing colors the traditional way, which is very good for people with long traditional backgrounds. 

Then Painter has “Blenders” 

If you are starting digital art, chances are you have been using traditional mediums for a while, and you know traditional mediums are not the easiest to blend totally smooth colors. 

Now if you look at her pink hair above, painter can blend exactly that smooth very easily. You can just lay down 2 blocks of solid colors, and use blender “just add water” and brush over it, until you achieve the smoothness you want. For beginners, this seem god send. For more experienced artist, you can change/use different brush tip for the blenders and achieve a more textured look. 

But what makes blenders so good is not the smoothness of it, but rather, it can change the approach you create art and speed it up. Rather than blending every element slowly, you can just lay down blocks of solid colors fast, and blend them altogether later.

So Painter has fantastic brushes and a great brush engine, plus a nifty blender right? But that’s about it. 

CONS 

Now its the cons. Prepare yourself.

Painter as a software is very clunky, glitchy, and it has been the same ever since so long. The people at Corel is either incapable of improving it, or they just doesn’t care. 

1. Using Tablet Eraser Lags 

Yes you read that right, even basic feature like switching to eraser lags. But hey, that’s the faster version. You know what’s slower, switching to eraser tool command also lags, for half a second or a second I don’t know. 

This makes rough sketching extremely annoying for me. Where I tend to draw and erase immediately, the constant switching of tools creates a constant sudden lag which is really frustrating, breaking momentum. 

2. Default eraser cannot be adjusted. 

What? Yes, you are stuck with a pressure sensitive eraser, with a soft or hard edge version. Yes, ever since forever they never change it too. In order to change it, you need to do some out of the box file editing, but that means you can’t change it while you are working, so it’s useless as well. 

Well you can adjust the eraser, but only as a “brush tool”. Which you have to select a new brush to erase, and you have to reselect your previous brush to paint again. 

Again this is very annoying for me, whereas in PS I just need to press “e” to erase and then “b” to paint again immediately with my brush cursor still in the same place on the canvas. In Painter I have to go over the canvas to select the eraser (b), erase, then select again the brush, and back to painting, which takes up tons of time. You can’t use a different shortcut like PS, because as I say, the “adjusted” eraser is considered a brush tool. 

3. The 1st time you open the brush engine, it lags, for about 3 secs 

Yes, it lags again, though only for the first time, but I don’t know why, it never change since forever. 

4. Using big brushes lags. 

Painter always claim that their current version is faster than before, but that only shows how bad it is the previous version was, and the current version is not much better. 

I often paint in large canvases in PS so that I can put in tons of details. Sometimes there are tons of layers, sometimes just a few. But in all cases I can use brushes up to 800px wide without problem, in 1000px I have to paint slower or the strokes will not catch up. I usually do that to cover large areas.

One may argue that Painter’s brushes are more sophisticated, but most brushes lags when they pass 100px, with few layers. With tons of layers? Its a nightmare. 

5. Painter’s drag zoom, zoom you to the MAX.

Sometimes, when you are trying to paint a certain area, you put one of your hand in Ctrl-Z (undo), so that you can keep immediately undo each time you didn’t get the strokes right. 

Occasionally, you didn’t press Ctrl in time and pressed the Z, so it becomes “zoom” (shortcut for both in PS and CP is same), and then you stroke your brush in zoom mode.... you zoom a little in PS, so you just zoom out back once again, but in Painter, you always zoom in to the max, 1600% zoom. So you zoom out repeatedly to get back again. 

Like wtf Painter? who zooms in 1600%?? 

6. Painter’s “Canvas” is a mystery. 

For a long while, I often wondered what the “canvas” layer is for (The bottom most layer), until now I still don’t have clue. The canvas layer cannot be edited, moved, or duplicated, so if you open up an image in Painter and would like to duplicate, or erase the background and paint underneath it, you are out of luck. 

It is unbelievable, that in 2018, you can’t drag an image and put it on another layer in another document.

The canvas is more nuisance than useful. You can’t create another layer underneath the canvas. You can’t even copy and paste the canvas. 

Ah but you can move that layer into another layer or another document through an unorthodox method, you know what? You have to go under layer tab, and choose “Lift canvas into watercolor layer” 

Then you can drag “that watercolor layer”. So essentially, you need to convert to watercolor layer and thus it duplicates the layer for you and change its blending mode to “gel”, but it cannot just duplicate that into a normal layer? Yeah, that’s Painter’s canvas. I always start my image in PS. 

7. Color Picking from another image causes it to select it, so you have to click your file again.... and IT LAGS, EVERY SINGLE TIME 

It’s no surprise that in the digital era, picking colors has become so easy, and as an artist, I often use color reference from other images. But imagine when you have to reference many colors and each time you reference there’s a lag in between, it’s like painting back and forth 2 different file, and with a lag. 

I will add on to list in the future, these cons are the only ones I can remember for now. 

(Switching brush selection and brush engine.)

(path tool)

CONCLUSION: 

It’s 2018, and Painter still doesn’t fix the most basic functions to allow Painter to be used easily. There are more issues, but these are the most basic issues that stops me from fully using Painter as my go to software. And these are issues that have persists for a very long time (forever?), instead Painter introduces gimmick features like “music brushes” and charges a whole lot for each new version of Painter. 

I use Painter only for my line/brush work for now.

Instead of improving and fixing to make Painter a fully usable wholesome painting software, Painter chooses to focus on trivial features that nobody asks for. 

Painter could beat Photoshop and become the King of painting software, but it can’t, because it never changes it’s bad habits.

[pastelgrungewrecker]

Little Details {An Au}

“Y’know, like, Nya?” - Ancient Furry Proverb

“Art is hard.”

“Yeah, but money’s nice dude.”

Drift glared at his... colorful companion. Sketchbook untouched next to mug number five of the dark coffee he swore you could only find at the Shotgun diner- where they currently sat.

Roddy; poli-sci major, “fashion” icon, and Drift’s best friend since high school- cackled and slurped loudly from his coke glass, “At least you won’t be spending four hours hunched over a sewing machine like Gollum with the One Ring.”

“Not everyone can make a grand off of a giant blue dog’s head.”

“What can I say? I’m blessed.”

“I’m not sure ‘blessed’ is how I would describe someone willingly wearing a vaporwave tank top in public.”, teased Drift, plucking at Roddy’s shirt cheekily and managing a tired laugh when Roddy swatted his hand.

“Pardon me, gentlemen- would either of you like a refill?”, asked a clipped voice from the side of their booth. Roddy turned with his Patented Debonair Smile and emphatically said, “That’d be sweet dude, thanks!”

Drift coughed awkwardly, wishing his beanie would slide down and swallow his entire head as he nodded silently.

The waiter, the nametag branding them Percy (written in curly cursive, by hand it looked), smiled from under the dark circles often brought about by midterms. Drift swallowed hard as the smell of dark coffee drifted by him as the mug was refilled, and Percy murmured that they’d be right back with another coke for Roddy.

The brightly colored student across from Drift grinned, head resting on his fist as Percy walked away with a click-clack of shoes over linoleum.

“Dude, just ask for his digits. You know you wanna.”

“The last thing he probably wants to hear at 3 in the morning is some artsy douche asking for his number.”, sighed Drift, letting himself watch where Percy worked behind the counter, “Besides, he’s probably taken, I mean- pretty guys like that are NEVER available and you know it.”

“It can’t hurt to try, I mean- you’ve only been pining over him for what, three weeks?”

“Listen.”

“I HAVE listened, man- and you got some bad puppy love going on. Which is... pretty ironic.”

“Shut your face.”, snorted Drift, taking his mugs in his hands, “Though... isn’t he STEM? You’d think the studying would kill him working nightshift. I mean, didn’t your friend Nautica almost have a breakdown?”

“Nah, she just had... way too much caffeine. Like. Way too much.”

“How much is too much?”

“Remember that time someone dared me to down a whole case of-”

“Don’t. Don’t remind me, nevermind, I understand. Poor thing, Lordy. She must’ve been vibrating into another dimension.”

Percy returned, tired smile and all, and set the glass down on a little blue napkin square in front of Roddy.

“Can I get you two anything else?”, they asked, voice gentle even as it was almost clinical.

“No, we’re good I think.”, said Drift, trying to keep his voice from dipping into that ooey-gooey I-Have-A-Stupid-Crush tone, “Thank you, though.”

“Anytime.”, said Percy with a tiny laugh, “Let me know if you change your minds.”

Drift watched the waiter walk away and pocket the tiny notebook used for taking orders and he could FEEL his face sinking into a dumb dopey smile.

“Oogachaka oogachaka you can’t fight this feeeeelin’, deep inside of-”

“I will fling this coffee at you.”

“Jeeez, alright, alright. I see we have a hater of the classics, wow.”

“You’re a demon, why are we friends.”

“Because I may be a demon, but I’m an awesome demon who throws the best parties and doesn’t narc on your big gay crush on the cute waiter at the diner you like to sketch at. AND I pay for your coffee when I come with you.”

“....Good point.”

“Speaking of sketches, have you thought of any adoptables? I hear they’re all the rage for commissioners- you could probably make a good chunk of change.”

Drift nodded absently, watching Percy as they bustled about behind the counter-

“Oi Percy! Can you run back trash out real quick for me? I’m in the middle of clearing out one of the fryers- second shift destroyed it, it’s like a warzone man!”

“Alright, coming!”, called Percy, irritation present in the tone of voice. Drift watched them rustle around behind the counter- pulling out a hoodie with a very familiar superhero logo branded on the front before tugging it down over a crisp white shirt.

The idea-bulb dinged in Drift’s head.

“Bats.”

“What?”, said Roddy.

“Bat adoptables. Why not, right? Bats are cute.”

Drift flipped open his sketchbook, passing over three or four feline commissions until he found a blank page and began to sketch. Bats with glasses, bats with little patterns like bowties and aprons and all manner of odd spots. He dragged open the backpack next to him, pulling out a few colored pens and scratching out what color would go where as Rody leaned over the table to watch.

“...Okay, those are REALLY cute.”

“Yeah, fruit bats.”, said Drift, “Based on actual fruits-”

He looked up to see Percy returning from wherever they’d gone, drying hands after having scrubbed them clean. The tired waiter glanced around the diner, and seeing no one immediately in need of his attention, dug back into the pile where the hoodie had come from.

A lunchbox was pulled free- nothing spectacular or fancy; but functional nonetheless. Percy unzipped it, reaching in and pulling free a tangerine and a bag of those weird banana chips Drift sometimes saw the vegan in his history class eating.

“And I think the first ones will be bananas and tangerines.”

“That sounds like a capri sun flavor.”

“Not everyone lives on capri-sun and retro rock music Roddy.”

“Uh, clearly they are not living life to the fullest then- unlike me.”

Drift snorted before looking back to his sketchbook and setting to work. A few more coffee refills and another set of snuck glances at Percy and then Drift had enough to work with. Roddy waved the artist off, snatching up the bill and bouncing up to the counter with some song stuck in his head already. Drift snickered to himself as he left a healthy tip on the table, following his brightly colored friend out to the parking lot after the bill was paid only for Roddy to call out “Shotgun!” and all but dive into the passenger seat of Drift’s car.

“Dude, that’s only necessary if there’s other people riding with us.”

“With as big as your crush is I wanted to make sure there was room for me in the car.”

Drift blew a raspberry at Roddy, who only winked back before shutting the passenger door.

When they arrived back to their dorm, Drift made a beeline for his computer desk, moving his tablet off his chair and onto his lap.

And he began to draw.

After a “quick” marathon of five hours (and a juice-pak being lobbed at his head from Roddy), Drift had a set of 4 bat adoptables- ready made and ready to go to post to his art profile.

“How much should I charge per?”

“Probably your usual for those cute chibi designs?”

“Yeah, took about the same amount of time.”

The clack of keys and Drift yawned wide- until there was a notification beep from his phone.

He blinked, looking down.

[EldritchKawaii: Zomg so cute!!! I’d like Tangerine if its alright?]

[deadl0ck: sure thing, lemme send paypal info?]

[EldritchKawaii: Awesomeness, me and my wallet eagerly await!]

Drift leaned back, “I just got these up, what the hell?”

“What, you sold one already?”

“Yeah, Tangerine- hang on, wait. Tangerine, Blueberry, and Fruit Punch.”

Within the hour, all had been sold and there were already inquiries about a new batch.

Drift couldn’t help but laugh, turning back to his sketchbook, “I should’ve tipped Percy forty bucks; I think he just helped me pay this months bills!”

Roddy cackled from where he sat at his sewing machine, picking through his threadbox, “I guess we’ll just have to go back to Shotgun, huh?”

“Guess so. I can’t wait.”

[0n-y0ur-left]

@machine-dove sent me a message yelling about my tags on this post and said I had to write the ficlet.

I’m always a slut for prompts, so...

The thing was, Steve would swear in the years that followed, he really felt like him and Bucky had been dancing around this for months.  They’d been best friends for years, for as far back as either of them could remember, but after the weirdness that had been middle school there’d been a charge there, a spark of something humming beneath the surface of their interactions that both excited and scared the hell out of them.  

Or out of Steve, anyway.  He’d finally gotten the nerve to admit - to himself and his friends and loved ones - that he had a thing for both girls and guys at the start of eleventh grade, and while he didn’t have dates of either sex lining up to ask him out, it had at least cleared the air between him and Bucky.  And when Buck had broken up with his last girl of the month, four months ago (not that Steve was keeping track), and they’d started constantly hanging out together again, like old times… well, there was a nasty little voice in Steve’s head that couldn’t help reading more into it.

Especially when Bucky insisted sharing milk shakes when they went out after school, or popcorn when they went to the movies, or letting Steve borrow his Varsity jacket when he accidentally/on purpose forgot to bring his own coat to the Homecoming game they’d gone stag to.  There was definitely something there, something more than Steve had ever dreamed of hoping for - but while one mean side of him liked to point out the possibility of his best friend becoming something even more, the other, meaner side always shut him down: making sure to remind Steve as harshly as possible just how delusional he was being.

Because Bucky, even if he was single, had never once expressed an interest in being with other guys.  And even if he had, Buck was so far out of Steve’s league that it wasn’t funny.  He was smart - honor council this year, top of their class since he’d first transferred to Brooklyn in elementary school - he was on student council, starting pitcher for the varsity baseball team as  a sophomore, a key player in every drama production Washington High had put on since he’d started there.  People were tripping over the opportunity to hang out with Bucky Barnes, never mind the chance to date him.  And Steve… Steve was just Steve.  Scrawny asthmatic with a chip on his shoulder, painfully average student and GSA representative.  He was a decent artist when people took the time to actually look at his work, and Bucky swore up and down that he was funny as hell, but for the most part Steve knew that the only reason he wasn’t regularly getting shoved in lockers anymore was because he was most famous for being Bucky Barnes’ best friend.

Steve was an idiot for even imagining that he had a chance with someone as perfect as Bucky, but he wasn’t so stupid that he’d go and risk something as important as their friendship by asking him out.

Besides, they hung out so often that Steve felt he could pretty safely pretend they were dating.  In the deepest, darkest corners of his mind.  And if ninety-nine percent of his schmoopy fan art of late was based on an AU of Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne as dorky high school boyfriends that maybe bore a little bit of a resemblance to the dumb shit that the two of them did together?  Well… no one needed to know.

It got more hits to his blog, at least.

That said, there were still nights when Steve’s stupid brain couldn’t help but wish.  So when Bucky had sent his text on the Sunday before the MLK Holiday, when Steve was already pouting about the fact that he couldn’t join him in their volunteer plans because his stupid head had decided to come down with a stupid cold, well… Steve couldn’t help feeling a little reckless.

Text from Bucky Received 09:32 PM

What do you wear to bed?

Steve had been staring at it for a solid thirty seconds, blinking and trying to convince himself that it really wasn’t the Nyquil that he’d taken earlier - that Bucky really was asking him that question.

He had to know how suggestive it was.  Steve had watched Bucky charm girls since they were in elementary school… he knew how to flirt, he knew how people took his words.  Which meant - he had to be flirting with Steve.  It wasn’t completely out of the blue, not really, but it still left Steve such a squirmy mess that he actually had to abandon his tablet on his desk and fall back onto his mattress to read it again.

Bucky had stayed over enough times over the years to know damned well that Steve usually just slept in whatever outsized summer camp t-shirt was cleanest in his drawer and either a pair of old boxers or ratty pajama pants; but he couldn’t very well say that.  Not in response to his first sext.

He bit the hell out of his lip, dismissing the thought as fast as he could, before  finally forcing his fingers to type out an answer.  

Text to Bucky Sent 9:34 PM

depends on the weather

if its summer just a black jock or smth ;)

He held his breath as the ellipses bubble appeared on Bucky’s side of the screen, rereading his response obsessively.  Best case scenario: Bucky really was flirting with him, and they could get it out of their systems the easy way… break the ice on a text screen, then make out like fiends in person the next time they hung out together.  Worst case scenario: Bucky would ask him what the fuck he was talking about and Steve would laugh it off as a joke.

He was golden.

He was really, really fucking hoping for the former - although as Bucky continued typing he couldn’t help but start panicking.

Text from Bucky Received 9:35 PM

k but what about like in the winter

do u wear warm pajamas?

What the fuck?

Steve actually started to type as much, but the rest of Bucky’s responses came in a flurry of messages.

Text from Bucky Received 9:35 PM

my mom is making me throw out my old superman pajamas and i kno theyre about ur size

i swear theyre not gross or anything

ill wash them before

if u want them

i just know u like superman and its dumb to throw them away

Steve finished reading the texts, dropped the phone onto his comforter, and covered his face in his hands because - oh God.  It was so painfully cute, so painfully Buck that he couldn’t help giggling, and immediately picked the phone back up to read the exchange again.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he took a screenshot and hit the share icon for his Tumblr account.  After a second’s debate he added the hashtag #Ur fav would NEVEr #This boy and posted it.

He rolled onto his side, staring at the screenshot and grinning like a crazy person… and then succumbed to the cold meds, finally.

Steve woke up coughing a short while later, blinking in confusion before realizing that he’d definitely fell asleep on top of his covers, with his damned contacts still in.  He reluctantly moved to the bathroom to pop them out (his eyes were already a sticky, awful mess, so leaving them in absolutely wasn’t worth how he’d feel in the morning), then stumbled back to his bed, groaning when he noticed the time on his alarm clock.

He face-planted back into his pillow, only to bash his nose against the cold, hard surface of his phone.  With a curse he moved the damned thing to his nightstand - then remembered how he’d fell asleep in the first place.  He knocked three books on the floor feeling for his glasses on the nightstand, but finally got them on his nose and pulled his phone screen close to his face, blinking in surprise when he saw his Tumblr app notifications.

With a little red bubble that read 1,000+ next to it.

Steve opened the app with shaking fingers, only to laugh out loud when he realized which post it was that had blown up.  He hadn’t imagined the interchange with Bucky, and apparently the entire damned internet was every bit as charmed as he’d felt.  A quick scroll through his inbox confirmed that at least fifty people thought they should get married.

Which… was probably jumping the gun, but was something that Steve couldn’t help preening over, just a little.

Text to Bucky sent 06:03 AM

I PUT THIS CONVO ON THE INTERNET

If nothing else, Buck would get a good laugh out of it in the morning, Steve figured with a giggle.

A giggle that stopped as soon as the blue check mark appeared next to Bucky’s name.

Text from Bucky received 06:03 AM

hmmmmm?

Steve - had definitely not expected Buck to be up yet, but he could hardly abandon the conversation now.

Text to Bucky sent 06:04 AM

I put this on tumblr.  U should see the responses!

It vaguely occurred to Steve that he probably should have asked for permission ahead of time, but it was Bucky.  And it wasn’t as if he’d said anything terrible - if anything, Steve came out looking like the pervy idiot.

Besides, none of their classmates would guess that this random Bucky on the internet was their Bucky: no one outside of their immediate friend group knew that Buck was such a dork, or would believe it in the first place.

Text from Bucky received 06:04 AM

is that ur art site?

Steve hid his grin behind his hand.  His art site.  Please…

Text to Bucky sent 06:04 AM

yeah sort of.  i post on it sometimes

it got huge responses!

more than any drawings :P

PS how old r these pjs?  if they r gonna fit me? XD

Text from Bucky received 06:04 AM

shit

Steve’s heart sank in his chest as the ellipse button appeared immediately under Bucky’s response.  He was in the middle of stumbling out of bed to retrieve his laptop to delete the damned thing when his phone chimed again.

Text from Bucky received 06:05 AM

i lied to millions of ppl on the internet

my mom isnt making me throw my pajamas out

i saw them at target

Steve was about to laugh and make a snarky reply about the ‘millions’ part (he had a grand total of five hundred twenty-three people following his crappy fan art blog, but Bucky always was one for dramatics) but the rest of Bucky’s rant stopped him cold.

Text from Bucky received 06:05 AM

they were on sale tho

i know we already did xmas presents

they just made me think of u

Steve’s smile was so wide his face ached.  The ellipses kept coming.

Text from Bucky received 06:06 AM

no they werent

they werent on sale

thats another lie

sorry tumbler

can they see this now???

Steve was dying.  Bucky was going to actually kill him with adorableness, and he didn’t even seem to realize it.  After smothering a squeal in his pillow Steve got his shit together and started typing back.

Text to Bucky sent 06:06AM

nope! no worries ;)

He gnawed viciously on his bottom lip as he typed up his follow up, started to delete it twice, then finally manned up and hit send.  

Steve was a lot of things, but he sure as hell hoped he wouldn’t ever be called a coward.

Text to Bucky sent 06:07 AM

i got about 50 message overnight tho

they all say i’ve gotta marry you XD

The emoticon, Steve decided when he saw the blue checkmark beneath it, was a nice touch.  If Buck freaked out now, he could just laugh the whole thing off as a joke.

(he wasn’t laughing while the ellipse bubble flashed next to Bucky’s name ten billion times in the next two minutes)

Text from Bucky sent 06:08 AM

we should prob start with coffee first

if ur feeling better i can pick u up tuesday?

is seven okay?

Steve stared at his phone for a solid thirty seconds, gaping in shock, before pressing the call button next to Bucky’s name with shaking fingers.  Seven was perfect, but he could hardly trust himself to type as much.

[diegest]

A decade recap

This is gonna be long.

I started this before the new year but ended up getting too busy to work on it and add to it and forgot about it. 😅 It’s unfinished and there are details missing, clearly. But it’s still nice to be able to look back at what I remember and how I’ve overcome specific events in my life. ❤️

2010 - age 15

I live in Cali MO. I’m a volunteer vet assistant. I help take care of the animals and help with procedures here and there. I’m pining over my childhood best friend of 9 years. However, the cute guy with a goatee in my Desktop Publishing class who makes me laugh is also getting my attention... I’m going into my last year of track and field, as my knees can’t take it anymore and I no longer enjoy it. I’m small, tan, love to run, but I’m extremely socially awkward and shy. I’m going through a lot of family issues. I see my brother for the last time in years. I spiral into depression. My body doesn’t cope well with the stress. I wish to die but fail. I almost start the decade out not with a bang, but with a bottle of pills.

2011 - age 16

I’m not very eager to get my drivers license. The freedom sounds great but I’m not ready for the responsibilities. I’m scared, actually. I pass my test on the third try because this time I’m finally able to take MY car for my test. I drive a black Pontiac Grand Prix GTP, supercharged with stripped decals. I’m hit on for my car a lot. I’m very much an art student. I got that guy in Desktop Publishing’s number and I took him to a concert for our first date, where we became boyfriend and girlfriend. First date lol. I work at McDonalds for my first real job but only briefly, as I couldn’t handle the social pressures and many people there are fucking mean. I go work at a store in town instead and like it a lot more. Sophomore year isn’t too bad. I was scouted for a dual school program because of my passion for graphic design and art and am accepted into next years program. I’m an honors student.

2012 - age 17

Junior year. I’m attending two schools. I go to JC High in the mornings and Cali High in the afternoons. I’m admired for my drawing ability using Wacom tablets. I’ve been with Travis for a year now. It’s cool dating a senior to me. I’m still driving my Grand Prix. I work at a gardening center during summer and a store during the other seasons. My friend group is disbanded, but it’s okay. I attend my first year of prom. Mom got us a limo which was super unnecessary looking back at it but we had a great time. I have to go to court against my father. I have to tell them that during my time there, I had to be a stand-in parent for my brother and he would often forget to feed us or I would have to leave my homework to do on Sunday nights when I was finally back at my moms which makes my grades suffer. Making me swear on the Bible was kind of a weird thing to do. My mom and I win the court case but I’m absolutely heartbroken and crushed that I had to stand at a podium and tear my dad apart. But at the time I was so angry and bitter.

2013 - age 18

Senior year. I’ve been with Trav for two years. He’s in college which is hard on me. Hard on us. He surprises me at homecoming by texting me to turn around and bam, he’s behind me after not seeing him in probably 2 months. I drive Matthew to school with me as he’s starting his freshmen year. I’m class president of my Graphic Communications course study and I’m sure that graphic design is what I want to go into. However, I hate being told what to do and the lack of creative freedom. My Grand Prix’s transmission gives out on my way home from school one day and I bawl my eyes out. My mom gets me a Kia Forte because I wil have to commute to college so it’s best to have a reliable car. Unrelated but still important, I’m involved in the record number of cars involved in a pileup in my city (6 cars) and am the only one not charged from the ordeal. Kinda nifty and cool but kinda shitty at the time. I graduate high school and see some family members for the first time in years. I’m not thrilled. I spend my graduation wanting to get out of my dress and gown and go hang out with friends and our boyfriends instead. I go to Kansas City to be with Trav when I can.

2014 - age 19

I move to Jeff City with my mom. Trav and I have been together for 3 years. He gets into a terrible car accident which affects him for the remainder of our relationship. People question why I stayed with him because of his inability to do a lot of things we were able to prior and I tell them it’s because I love him. He moves back home to do college online, which makes things a lot easier. I’m not excited for college whatsoever, but attend anyway since my first two years are essentially free. I’m an art student, mostly working to tweak my finer skills in fine art. I love painting and drawing and especially doing life studies and figure sketches. But I’m losing my passion. I work at a store as a cashier and want to tear customers into pieces when they’re rude. I’m getting anxious about college and am starting to question whether I’m on the right path or not. My cat, Tiger, who I had for 10 years, also goes missing. I never find him despite searching and doing everything I could in my power. That still kinda gets to me. I work as a server and hostess. My days typically are as follow: wake up, go to school, go to work, stay up until 3am taking tests and doing homework. Rince and repeat until losing it mentally. I made the deans list. This continues for months and it’s absolutely mind-numbing.

2015 - age 20

I got my Associates, which I forget exists 95% of the time. I’m about to move to a university finally! And live in a dorm finally! With my best friend! Oh, now she’s not coming. Oh. And now someone else has taken her spot in my dorm. Oh. She speaks very little English. She’s rude. She wakes me up in the middle of the night. She’s gross. I can’t handle this. I have to drop a class for the first time in my life because I’m failing a class for the first time of my life. I move up the hall. I retake the class with the newfound ability to rest in my dorm building and pass with an A. I’m angry and bitter at who I used to consider my ‘friend’ for landing me in this financial predicament. I gravitate toward her brother who becomes my best friend since we’re both stuck in the same city together and go to the same college together. Trav helps me make the most of having my own dorm and helps me move out when the time comes. I work at Dairy Queen. I secretly develop an eating disorder while living in the dorm because what is basically my freshmen 15 sounds terrifying to me and it’s extremely important to me I maintain my weight to break that standard. No one catches on to my knowledge.

2016 - age 21

I celebrate my birthday by going to my favorite chill bar in Jeff City. Trav and I have been together for 5 years. We get our first place. It’s a short walk from campus and I love the balcony. It’s spacious enough for our two desktops and for his cat, Ivy. It’s also big enough to have friends over!! If I had many friends...and if he had any friends...I love having my place with my significant other for a while but it loses its luster when I become the only one being able to pay for the bills and rent. But I’m also going to school full time. And am in an honors fraternity and another honors society. I’m a research assistant. I’m working at Dairy Queen. I’m just one person. Now my brother is in the hospital and I’m told about it after he has been admitted for over a month. His condition is affecting his heart among other things. I’m so far away. I’m basically a state away but I can’t leave because I’m the breadwinner and I have to complete school. This is too much for just one person. My college friends are fantastic though and keep me floating with my head up when I constantly feel like I’m drowning.

2017 - age 22

I can’t handle the pressures of completing my bachelors degree and being the only one in my apartment getting work hours. I can’t handle not knowing how my brother is fairing in the hospital. I can’t handle the extracurriculars along with working, tests, having my own psychology research experiment on top of being a research assistant. I can’t handle my own feelings for others. I’m detached from my boyfriend. I can’t handle the strained relationship and do everything to leave and get away. I end it just before the 6 year mark partially out of guilt for my feelings for someone else, partially because I know I can do better, partially because I know it’s ran it’s course, partially because I feel like I don’t know my type or myself, partially because I know I need a partner more fiscally reliable, and partially because I’m scared he will propose to me. Because I intend to say ‘no.’ Everyone pushes it but I know I would say ‘no.’ I work at Dairy Queen for a few months after I graduate to figure out my next move. When my boss makes a comment that Psychology majors don’t amount to anything, I go home and apply to a psychiatric hospital nearby and get an interview within three days. I work my new job and work at Dairy Queen until December, as she’s not giving me any hours anyway to spite me and quit DQ in favor of the hospital. Two jobs doesn’t feel that bad when one is slashed so hardcore to spite you. I’m promoted from Expressive Therapy Assistant to full on Expressive Therapist within months. I feel loved. I feel needed. I feel nervous. But I feel like I’m making a difference. I also begin to fill the gap of my long relationship with several short term relationships. Oops. It was unintentional.

2018 - age 23

I’m working at the hospital and I’m thriving. I’m loving it. I feel like a badass. I feel important. I drive a lot. I have to stay overnight when it snows. I’m maintaining my apartment by myself as Travis moved out. It’s expensive and scary. I invest most of my energy into my work and when I’m not working, I’m doing everything I can to leave town to be with my boyfriend - my childhood best friend I almost dated in high school whom I’ve known for 17 years by this point. Whoops that didn’t last. I date a coworker. Whops that didn’t last either. I dated my ex’s friend. That actually lasted longer than I thought it would. I move into a much cheaper apartment - a two bedroom duplex. I traded in my balcony for a yard and an awning to park my car under.

2019 - age 24

I fucked up and lose the job I love, but it’s okay. They even tell me I was damn good at what I did and they’re only forced to fire me because of policy. I have a job the very next day much closer to home. I hate what I do for months because it’s mind-numbingly boring compared to my old job. I’m promoted. I have authority. I have a say in whether clients can stay with us or not. I have a say if someone needs to get fired (though I haven’t had to exercise that yet). Things are shaking up. The company isn’t doing well because of grants. But we’re keeping our head up for our clients. The grant-funded program I’ve been writing for months gets approved. Also I have a dog! He’s awful, I love him. I meet some of the best people I’ve ever met in my life and consider them to be some of my greatest friends I’ve ever had. But I’m still not brave enough to tell them I was fired from my last job. And I don’t intend to for as long as I can keep it a secret. I date a few good guys but none of them stick but maintain friendships with them if they want to. My grandpa passes away which affects me more than I can admit truthfully. This does help me rekindle my relationship with my dad though which I’m grateful for. I still don’t know what I want to do as a profession. I still don’t know what I want to go back to school for. I want to move to a bigger city and live with friends but I’m using this time to train my dog, make money, and just try to live. I get very comfortable with my own body and delve into photography, only this time being a model rather than the person behind the camera! It’s fun. Can’t do shit in winter though lol.

2020 - age 25

I started the year surrounded by friends I sincerely hope I still have years from now. I was given a promotion and a raise of a few thousand dollars. I’ve met someone who can stay up late with me laughing about funny memes and videos and will sing to music with me while driving down the highway. People come to me for mediation at work and clients say thanks for my presence. I still very much want to move away, but it would currently be foolish of me to leave while the grant-funded children’s program I’ve slaved over writing on and off for months is finally getting off the ground and going around by word of mouth. Plus, my savings is able to increase again. Plus plus, being a boss is fun and being in charge of so many people feels rewarding when things are done right by your word. I’m happy and things are going well ❤️ who knows what else will come with this year?

[businessthreesixfive-blog]

17 Top Women Entrepreneurs Share Their Start in Business

Tara Gentile, Sophia Amoruso and More Females Entrepreneurs Share How They Got Going

by Mary Fernandez Every successful business owner began someplace.

There's no "magic tablet" that easily launches you out of your cubicle confinement and into the complimentary world of entrepreneurship. For some, the dream to be your own manager grows for a long period of time, even years, before it finally concerns fruition. The truth is, great success in company grows from just one, small seed. We asked a few of our preferred women entrepreneurs to share how they got their start in business. Their answers revealed the deep incentives and personal qualities that drove them to make their concept a truth.

By checking out how they grew their businesses over the years, our goal is that you'll identify a comparable entrepreneurial seed, within yourself.

Here's what these females had to share about getting their start as business owners.

"My path to self work seemed to me, a natural evolution."

"However, it wasn't based upon a fantastic desire to develop a service. Rather, it was borne out of need. After 13 years mastering my craft, I was still an employee and I just had reached a ceiling of how much cash I could make in my profession.""After the initial fear and hurdles, the finding out curve is so fantastic I came very close to failure. Rather of offering up, I began to establish a deep sense of passion for inspiring and educating myself to reach greater heights in company and earnings. It ended up being an obstacle for me, and I don't understand any other method now. After 13 years of self-employment, I still challenge myself to create on a larger and bigger scale every year."

"My desire to develop, develop, and find out, surpasses my worry. Every obstacle I'm faced with now, ends up being a greater experience of learning my true power."Now, Sue's partnered with Tiffany Angeles to break down their biggest organisation lessons, and teach a class on how to Make More Cash and Discover Your Worth. 2. Sophia Amoruso"Do not quit, do not take anything personally, and do not take

no for an answer,"Sophia advises. Considering that establishing Nasty Gal as an eBay shop in 2006, selling classic clothes, Sophia has transformed business into a multi-million dollar empire with their own clothes line that was called the "Fastest Growing Merchant" in 2012. Recently, the New York City Times Bestseller of #GIRLBOSS has stepped out of her role as the CEO of Nasty Gal, to end up being the Executive Chairman and shift her focus to supervising simply the creative and brand marketing functions of the service.

With no fashion or organisation experience prior to starting Nasty Gal, Sophia credits much of her hard-earned success to her failure to accept failure as an alternative. "Individuals who informed me no, were individuals who ultimately told me yes," she includes.

3. Pamela Slim" In addition to working full-time as a worker for ten years, I had actually likewise been the volunteer executive director for a non-profit martial arts school in San Francisco."

"My common day had to do with 15 hours straight. Work, get on the metro over to the studio, train capoeira for 3-4 hours, then do administrative work before bed. Weekends were filled with classes, performances, and setting up fliers around the city to draw in brand-new trainees to the school."

"The tipping point came right before my 30th birthday. I got pneumonia from the non-stop difficult speed, and recognized I required to make a career move. Contrary to how I encourage my clients, I leapt with no strategy, simply the desire to get off the merry-go-round and discover a more sustainable course."

"After a couple of months of recovery and half-hearted task search, I called my old supervisor who had actually relocated to Hewlett-Packard and asked her if she needed a little assistance. I started working as a consultant, and I felt like a big fire was lit inside of me. I enjoyed being an expert. My problem had never had to do with the work, it was more about the ideal work mode."

"I understood that the ten years I had actually volunteered as an executive director had prepared me for entrepreneurial life. I understood how to develop and money big programs. I knew how to develop a network and activate people to a cause. I knew how to sell and market. Now that I had my own shingle out, I took off and built a successful and satisfying practice."

"This year, I celebrate 20 years in service for myself. It hasn't always been easy, however it continues to bring me great joy and complete satisfaction."

4. Tara Gentile"I chose to become an organisation owner after I was examined for a promo while 9 months pregnant.""6 months after my daughter was born, I began a little niche website and neighborhood. I then bought an existing blog service, and nearly over night, began making more cash than I had in my previous job."

"My company has actually developed substantially ever since, however I'm so grateful for the way I started!"

Tara, one of our most successful business instructors here at CreativeLive, has actually effectively gone from offering her services, to packaging them into digital items for her clients. It's helped here significantly scale her company, and now she teaches a class about how to

turn your services into a product. Inspired by these females? Wish to construct your own business? Join Tara Gentile for more information from one of our resident specialists. 5. Melissa Galt" The year following my graduation from Cornell, my mother dropped dead of a brain aneurysm. It took me the taking place 5 years to comprehend the lesson in her passing. Life is too brief to do something you don't like. She had actually been a maverick in her field, an Oscar winning actress who understood at age 7 what

she wanted. It took me a bit longer. "" I chose to pursue my imagine interior design, and went back to school full-time, while selecting up full-time work in the field. However, I was still frustrated that I was not in charge of my day and my choices."

"Eventually, my reckless nature was both my undoing and my brand-new start ..."

"I 'd planned to introduce my startup in September 1994. When I asked my manager for time off, she said I didn't have it. I said I did, and dug my heels in. Arguing with your supervisor when you need your task is never ever sensible. I went out."

"I was out of work, in debt, and 6 months premature to my prepared launch. I released instantly while using up sideline monitoring a catering cooking area and teaching hectic specialists (aka prospective clients for my interior style practice) throughout evening education programs."

"It was that magical location you find out about where worry satisfies breath and ends up being unstoppable exhilaration. I worked 15 hour days, 6 days a week, because I wished to. I couldn't wait to get up, and hated to go to bed during the night. I was absolutely on fire. I went from $70K in financial obligation to rocking 6 figures and debt complimentary in 18 months and that doubled every year for 5 years. Today, I create both home and business environments, while likewise advising business and way of lives that go on within them."

"My guidance is to discover what lights you up, and do whatever it takes to make it happen. You will consult with unforeseen success."

6. Beate Chelette"Remember those big posters of stunning places that decorated kid's rooms in the 80s? When I was young, I wanted them but could not afford them. I realized, if I ordered them for my pals and ended up being a supplier, I could get mine for free. At the age of 12, I began a poster circulation service out of my bed room."

"Later in life, I operated at Elle Magazine as a picture editor. I had a lot of freedom to reveal my concepts(after all, concepts are what a publication prospers on). However still ... something was always missing out on. Upon more examination, I showed up at 3 realities:

1. I wanted to be the employer.

2. I had a lot of ideas, and my employers didn't always concur.

3. I wanted to change the world.

And here I am today! I have actually been an entrepreneur practically my entire professional profession. You need to conquer the fear, and it's a lot of work, however the benefits are fantastic."

"My very first entrepreneurial endeavor was selling my hand-painted barrettes at recess in elementary school, despite the fact that I was not expected to be."

"My papa owned a car part shop and typically brought home design paint that I would utilize to paint enjoyable, colorful, preppy styles on hairpin."

"The enthusiasm I had for art and painting turned into a nice side hustle, and eventually gave me the self-confidence and validation to do what I loved at a very young age."

8. Tiffany Angeles "I felt dead inside working at my business job however

was too frightened to leave." "I was looking for a service I could start on nights and weekends. After exploring various businesses, I really won an electronic camera, so that sealed the deal for a photography service. I developed that organisation by moonlighting for a few years up until the earnings exceeded my corporate task and then went full-time."

"That service gave me the liberty and versatility to pursue my dream of speaking and mentor individuals how to be successful with loan. Despite the fact that it hurt to leave my corporate security, I am permanently grateful that I did, due to the fact that it caused a life and service I enjoy!"Now, Tiffany has actually joined forces with Sue Bryce to teach an incredible class on how to Make More Money and Discover Your Worth. 9. Yasmine Khater"After an effective business career in a Fortune 500 company, losing my daddy to cancer led me to redefine life and the impact I wish to produce. I knew that I didn't desire my boss's job, any of the other senior management functions, or to work more 12 -14 hour days. I also understood I didn't want to sacrifice my lifestyle, and remorse not living."

"That's when I decided to start my service. I brainstormed which skills I might build on, and what individuals needed. At the time, my buddies were searching for more profession direction, so I provided 30-minute profession clearness sessions. I booked 4 sessions and got my very first 3 clients."

"I realized soon thereafter, that I didn't actually wish to help people with their careers. Rather, I wished to leverage my business experience to help small company owner build their sales procedures, and develop winning sales systems that might stand the test of time."

10. Mayi Carles "Wait a second! Kids can just sell lemonade on the front porch and people give them loan? WOW!!! I was blown away."

"Soon enough, I had set up my own front yard kiosk, other than that rather of selling lemonade, I crafted little masterpieces made with a little paint spinner toy thingy. The line of kids reached completion of the block. Not to boast, however I was a ROCKSTAR."

"Right then and there, I knew I was born to do this."

"As it turns out, the reason my art pieces were offering like hot tamales for 50 cents a pop was because they featured a bag of Hershey's kisses. Mayita, my mother smiled as she made the infamous confession, the chocolates were a dollar at the store."

"Dang!"

"Alright, perhaps my very first service concept wasn't successful, however I learned the art of putting myself out there with a sense of self-worth at an extremely young age. That pillar has actually contributed in building my present imaginative empire."

11. Mei Pak"One day in school, we were permitted to establish a little table to sell whatever we desired throughout recess. I brought a zip lock bag of numerous tiny semi valuable stone chips that I had actually gotten from my mama's favorite jewelry store for less than $10. I understood the other kids would love them and offered 5 little stones for $2.00."

"In retrospect, I'm not amazed the principle of buy low, sell high came so naturally to me. This kind of things is what I was indicated to do!"

12. Courtney Johnston"I was never ever an entrepreneurial kid, however I was

always a dreamer and a guideline breaker."" After finishing college with a French degree in 2009 during the middle of the economic crisis, I quickly understood that I was 'unemployable' and chose to begin discovering ways to earn money for myself. A couple of service concepts later on, I began my copywriting business, and have actually never ever recalled."

13. Kimra Luna"I got my very first taste of entrepreneurship when I started my own reservation firm when I was 18 years. I started reserving performances for fun, and it turned into a full-time

gig. "14. Jenn Scalia"Entrepreneurship was something I was constantly predestined for. However until a couple of years earlier, I had always stuck to the status quo of having a 'genuine' task."

"After 2 layoffs in 2 years, I got a gentle push from deep space that I required to develop my own destiny and my own monetary security. While staying home as a full-time mother, I started looking for chances where I might use my abilities to generate income. That's when I found that I might be an online coach, and decided to dive in head first."

15. Barbara Findlay Schenck"Like many others, my dive into entrepreneurship was prompted by opportunity and need."

"My husband and I had simply returned from a stint in the Peace Corps, and-- although previous employers in Honolulu invited us back to the positions we 'd left two years earlier-- we wished to settle down in Oregon. So, we took a raincheck on the generous task deals, and began browsing for positions in Bend, Oregon that matched our journalism, public relations, and marketing backgrounds."

"With couple of such openings and no advertising or marketing company to reach out to, entrepreneurial instinct took control of and we seized the minute. We set out prepare for starting our own agency, registered a service name, prepared a list of possible customers, provided an office (hardly), put a sign on the door, and started a six-month sprint to success."

"Why six months? That's precisely for how long we figured our money reserves would last. When I tell business organizers to understand their funding runway, I speak from experience."

"With the clock ticking, we beat the six-month deadline, grew the agency to among the leading 15 in the Northwest, built up more customers, pals, and stories than we might count, and 15 years later offered it to new owners who made it the platform for introducing their own entrepreneurial journey."

16. Phoebe Mroczek"To be truthful, I have actually been a business owner for as long as I can remember. From the stationery stand in my driveway and my fifth-grade scrunchie service, to the dual-level marketing company I signed up with in college, it's truly not simply a passion. It's a way of life."

"While I dipped my toe into the corporate world in Asia, behind the scenes I 'd began an events company and shortly later on, a travel blog to document a 15-country bike trip."

"As I constructed my online network, I bumped into some web marketing resources that altered the course of my course up till that point. The most influential person I found was James Wedmore, whose mentorship offered me the self-confidence and clarity to establish my company. This was the begin the pants I needed to specify and bend my entrepreneurial muscles."

"Within twelve months, I 'd made 6 figures and more importantly, built an organisation that helped female entrepreneurs all around the world. I guess you could state I got my start as an entrepreneur a couple years back once I made the decision to go for it. With a little coaching and a Great Deal Of fear, I went all out and the rest is history!"

17. Amy Schmittauer"How did I get my start as an entrepreneur?

Tough freakin'work. ""When I realized at my 9-5 that I wished to work for myself, it was a year and a half prior to I actually delegated make it take place. During that time, I was getting any and all experience I might in my field, on the side of my full-time job. I invested getaway time and additional money on conferences, networking, and working for anyone who would let me assist. For complimentary and then for low-cost, till I had self-confidence in my portfolio and made the leap to concentrate on my business alone."

"Everybody desires the choice to be easy or fantastic timing, however it never ever will be. Do the work. Prove you're going to keep doing the work when you're the just one in your corner. And after that make it happen."

If you're all set to start (or grow) your own organisation, you require to discover how to value yourself. Examine out Make More Loan and Discover Your Worth with Sue Bruce, right here on CreativeLive.

Intrigued in constructing a neighborhood and assisting to grow your service? Join Tara Gentile to find out more from one of our resident professionals.

[tipsycad147]

White magick, black magick: What’s the difference?

Posted by Michelle Gruben on Mar 28, 2017

“I’m a white Witch. He practices black magick.” If you spend enough time in witchy company, you’re sure to come across some discussion of shades and tints of magick. But what do these terms really mean? What beliefs and ideas do they encompass? And, more to the point, is there really a distinction between white magick (good) and black magick (evil)?

Before I launch into the whole white/black magick taxonomy, I should acknowledge that these terms have fallen out of favour in recent decades. Few contemporary Witches really use them to describe their practice. You can blame creeping moral relativism for the shift, but there’s really more to it than that.

Try it. Bring up black/white magick at a gathering of Witches, and count the mere seconds until someone blandly recites, “Magick is neither good nor bad, it’s your intention that counts.” Then someone else will pipe up and make an analogy between magick and a knife (or box of matches). A third person will add that the words “black” and “white” have an implicit racial bias, and shouldn’t be used to describe morality all. A chorus of Witches will chime in that “white magick” and “black magick” are reductive, insensitive, and outdated terms.

Magick is a tool that can be used for good or evil. It’s your intention that matters. Sure, it’s a loathsome cliche. But it does neatly sum up how many Witches feel about the ethical status of magickal work. That’s another way of saying that any spell or working that’s done with good intentions is white magick.

Is it ever that simple? Of course not! Why? Because human intentions are never that simple. But, when you’re explaining to your grandma why witchcraft isn’t Devil worship, I suppose it’s enough.

I could stop right there, but my psychic powers tell me that some of you won’t be satisfied with such a glib answer. So let’s drill down a little further into the “colours” of magick.

The history of an idea

While the dichotomy of white versus black magick may be out of fashion at the moment, it’s not going away anytime soon. This concept can be traced all the way back to the earliest medieval writers on occultism. Though nobody likes to admit it, the entire Western esoteric tradition is built on a foundation of medieval magick. (And that includes a framework of Judaeo-Christian cosmology.) Even Wicca has never really escaped the long shadow of Jehovah. Trying to extract the medieval worldview from Western occultism is a bit like boning out a whole chicken: The end result may be more palatable, but also rather flat and wobbly.

The 12th and 13th centuries were a very exciting period of magickal discovery. Ancient traditions of geometry, astronomy, proto-chemistry, written language, and image-making were being rediscovered after getting buried during Europe’s Dark Ages. The medieval grimoires rushed to synthesise all this knowledge into a comprehensive map of all Creation. Fuelling it all was a yearning to match the massive achievements of the Classical world.

Nostalgia for ancient times is something that many Witches and polytheists can relate to. And while we might be tempted think of the Pagan empires—Egypt, Greece, and Rome—as being happy magickal paradises, some of that is wishful thinking. State-sanctioned magick was basically limited to oracles and priests of the gods. Most ancient legal codes contain laws against witchcraft—including sorcery, necromancy and poisoning.

It’s not always spelled out in black and white (heh), but as long as magick has existed, there have been legal and social rules governing its use. Early civilizations did distinguish between approved and unapproved types of magick. Acceptable types—like augury and healing—were usually practised under the sponsorship of some deity. As far as personal magick, you might ask Ra to punish your enemies or pray to Diana for fertility. Maybe you’d even sweeten the pot with a generous gift or carefully made tablet or talisman.

But that was as far as it was safe to go. You made your offerings, and you prayed to the gods for omens or favours. If you didn’t get your way, one can presume, you upped the ante and tried again. Anyone caught trying to manipulate the natural order of things through forbidden arts was distrusted as the worst type of criminal.

If you think about witchcraft laws from a sociopolitical point of view, they make a lot more sense. Kings and priests don’t want their authority undermined by every hedge-witch and soothsayer in the land. They can also do without the panic and turmoil that comes along with witchcraft scares. (On the other hand, arresting a handful of Witches every now and then is a tried and true from of propaganda—a way to show you’re still in charge and fear no one.)

Things were even stricter among the People of the Book. The Old Testament forbids witchcraft explicitly. Not just harmful sorcery in this case, but also polytheism, idolatry, fortune-telling, spell-casting, astrology, and medium-ship. The scriptures demand complete trust in God, which was seen to be incompatible with occult practices. (Never mind the rumours that King Solomon himself practised magick.) For centuries, Christians and Jews shunned witchcraft as a rebellious and faithless act against God. Predictive magick, such as astrology, was rejected as an affront to free will.

So anyway, here we are in the Middle Ages and the crowning of the Western occult tradition. Reams of ancient texts are being re-discovered (or in some cases, forged). People started reading Aristotle and Pythagoras again. The Emerald Tablet, the foundational text of Hermeticism, was translated into Latin for the first time. And soon enough, new Kabbalistic writings in Arabic were lending Abrahamic legitimacy to this esoteric flood.

The rules about magick began to get fuzzy. People started to lighten up a bit. But as (mostly) Christians, they still had to tread carefully. Doing the wrong kind of magick could still get you in big, big trouble. Suddenly, it became very important to know what occult pursuits were approved by the Man Upstairs, and which would damn you to hell. (Or at least a very uncomfortable death by execution.)

Among the first to draw a line in the sand was the 13th century French bishop William of Auvergne. William rejected the earlier Christian belief that all magick is demonic. His treatises made a distinction between “natural magick” (which was allowed) and other kinds (which were not). Natural magick draws on the beneficial properties of herbs, gems, and animals. Because these powers were conferred by God, using them in the service of mankind is permissible. Unacceptable forms of magick include consulting with spirits and all types of image magick—the use of idols, signs and symbols.

Medieval thinkers started—but did not finish—the conversation about white and black magick. For the next several hundred years, ceremonial magicians try to find a way to do what they want while staying at the right hand of the Lord. Rules are bent and hairs split. Magick circles acquire even more holy initials. Occultists tease out the boundaries between theurgy and thaumaturgy, high and low magick.

During the Enlightenment, the conversation goes dormant until the occult revival of the 19th century. Magickal ethics get revisited and refined in libraries and drawing rooms—this time with the introduction of Eastern ideas, including karma. Gerald Gardner unveils Wicca to a conservative British public. Facing a major PR battle, he rebrands witchcraft as “the craft of the Wise” and promulgates the Wiccan Rede and the Threefold Law.

The modern neo-Pagan movement is born. Witchcraft’s public makeover has begun. It’s from this point on that the phrase “white magick” comes into regular use as newly minted Witches step up to defend their craft.

What is white magick?

White magick, is beneficent magick. It is performed to help or heal the magick worker or the target. White magick may include spell-casting, energy work, divination, blessings and prayer. As first described in the Middle Ages, white magick often depends on the inherent virtues of colours, herbs, or stones. Through his/her knowledge and its careful application, the white Witch harnesses the hidden power of the natural world. To this day, white magick is sometimes called “natural magick” and even “the right-hand path.”

White Witchcraft generally makes use of Earth energies and celestial energies. But not all Witches agree on the source of their powers. White Witches may draw their power from higher beings, from their own energy/will, or by capturing and directing neutral energy toward positive outcomes. Many white Witches work with deities or angels to steer their work toward its highest purpose.

Cleansing and healing are the most obvious branches of white magick. White magick also encompasses spells for friendship, peace, wisdom, creativity, dreaming, and personal growth. However, white magick is not necessarily selfless. Also, even well-intentioned spells can have negative consequences.

Many Witches consider all magick to be white magick, as long as it does not harm another. Some Witches do not see love and money spells as white magick, since they may constrain the wills of others. Protection spells may qualify as white magick if they are passive (e.g., setting up wards around a property), but not if they seek out or attack an adversary. Binding magick—even if it’s intended to prevent harm—is also usually excluded from the realm of white magick.

Contrary to what medieval magicians would have condoned, today’s white magick practitioners may contact spirits as part of their work. Communing with spirits for guidance, channelled healing, and conveying messages from departed love ones are all spiritualist practices that fit under the banner of white magick.

What is black magick?

Black magick, called “the left-hand path,” is white magick’s opposite. There are really two separate definitions of black magick swirling around: Magick intended to harm, and magick involving rebellious spirits.

The meaning of the term has been further complicated by people who label any occult practice they disapprove of as “black magick”. Workings involving the dead or the Underworld also get tossed into the black basket out of fear or misunderstanding. Voodoo and other (non-white) traditions have been exploited for decades by horror books and film—so they, too, get unfairly classified as black magick.

So, one definition of black magick would be all negative magick: Curses, hexes, psychic attack, spells to bring injury, illness, and misfortune.  Negative magick can be as simple as wishing harm upon someone, or as complex as an elaborate ritual. Occult practices that seize the energy of other life forms—such as vampirism and animal sacrifice—are regarded as black magick no matter their aim.

Another, older definition of “the black arts” is magick assisted by spirits or demons. The black magician makes pacts with the devil, conjures spirits of the dead, or summons infernal beings to do his bidding. In this medieval view of black magick, it doesn’t matter much what the magician’s purpose is. (She could be summoning Azaroth to heal her sick poodle. It’s the contact itself that’s unsavoury.) Yet there are plenty of Solomonic and Goetic magicians who work with demons, and who would be mightily offended by the suggestion that what they do is black magick.

The most comprehensive way to tell the difference might be this: White magick works in harmony with nature, while black magick is against nature. Nature’s habit is to continually improve, albeit in fits and starts. Black magick seeks to undo progress through chaos and destruction. Quintessential black magick workings—raising the dead, pacts to achieve immortality—usually seek to defy the natural cycles of life, replacing them with the magician’s own selfish obsessions.

What is grey magick?

Gray magick is a term that describes ethically ambiguous magick. It first appears in occult writings in the 1960s. Also called neutral magick, grey magick is neither specifically beneficial nor hostile. It can also refer to magick in which the ends justify the means, and vice versa.

You can imagine a square in which white magick—doing good things for good reasons—is in one corner. In the opposite corner is black magick (doing bad things for bad reasons). All of the rest of the square is filled in by grey magick (doing bad things for good reasons, or doing good things for bad reasons). Gray magick exists in a continuum, from a cloudy tint to a deep shade of charcoal.

If you cast a binding spell to stop someone from bothering you, or a love-drawing spell without concern for the trail of broken hearts, you might call that grey magick. Persuasion and glamour magick are grey-ish. So is magickal power for its own sake. Money magick can be grey: If your charm to win at the gambling table causes the other players to lose, then it’s not clear that your magick has contributed to the greater good. In one sense, all magick done for self-gratification can be considered grey magick at best.

Is grey magick a real category, or a cop-out? Gray magick is one way of acknowledging that you can never know all the consequences of your magick, and that your motivations may not be as saintly as you believe them to be. However, it can also be a way of dodging responsibility—or worse yet, delaying action.

Uncle Al (Crowley) —tells us, “The first condition of success in magick is purity of purpose.” If you’re not wholly committed, the results of your magick will be so feeble that you won’t need to worry whether it’s black, white, or gray.

Other colours

Are there other colours of magick? So glad you asked! “Green magick” or “green witchcraft” refers to the herbal branches of the magickal arts. Green Witches sometimes use that phrase to emphasise their reliance on the plant kingdom. A related term is “brown magick,” which includes the magick of animal guides, animal familiars, and shapeshifting.  And although it’s not common, I have heard the term “red magick” to describe the use of (consensual) bloodletting or sexual activity to raise massive amounts of energy in a hurry.

White and black magick today

Wiccans and Witches have been trying for decades to convince the public that their magick is benign—and for the most part, it’s worked. There’s more understanding and acceptance of alternative spirituality than ever before. If you tell someone you’re a Witch in my city, they’re more likely to visualize a pile of herbs and cats and crystals than some disturbing rite. It only took a thousand years, but white magick is finally dominating the cultural conversation about witchcraft.

But some Witches, it seems, do miss the element of fright that comes along with their vocation. Some don’t want to be lumped in with the wishy-washy, lovey-dovey white-light crowd. Some just don’t give a damn about what colour their magick is, as long as it works. For every mild-mannered Wiccan agonizing over whether her reversal spell violates the Rede, there is someone in a botanica buying a bottle of Bend Over Oil.

The whole black magick/white magick divide is arbitrary, culturally specific, and rooted in old Judaeo-Christian dogma that we Pagans profess not to believe in. And yet, magickal actions, like all actions, can have serious consequences. Most of us can agree that there are types of magick that are inhumane and destructive, and some that are vastly beneficial. But there’s a lot of wiggle room in the middle of the spectrum. In speaking and writing, the definitions of black and white magick seem to come down to what is acceptable to an individual Witch. It’s worth keeping these tired phrases around if they can help us to think and talk about magickal ethics.

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/white-magick-black-magick-what-s-the-difference