#i won't make fun of you if your views disagree with mine

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

I love your mdzs metas, especally the one where you say MDZS is not a hopeful universe and you can't fix it by just saying the Jin Sect is evil because the real problem is the powerful society.

And that post inspired my ask here.

I'd like to hear your thoughts about Lan Wangji deciding to remain in Gusu Lan Sect after wei ying's death. It's clear to me that his strong moral compass doesn't coincide anymore with the sect who was accomplice in the siege at burial mounds. Yeah his family wasn't the direct responsible of Wei Ying and the Wens' deaths, but still involved. I think his relationship with his family after Nightless city was deeply broken, not just emotionally but also morally. I think it would have been wiser leaving his seft after recovering from the wounds and being a rogue cultivator. Or living as a common with a-yuan, because I don't see how they could cohabit together after what happened. Or maybe lwj decided he was guilty as well for not being able to protect wei ying (and the wens), so he lived in remorse and guilt in the sect that allowed that crime? I'm curious about this dilemma because the novel doesn't explain fully in details that period of time. I was just thinking: "why lwj couldn't just live away from the sect after witnessing that their values ​​were no longer compatible and the corrupted cultivation society could no longer be his home". It would have been more coherent and right for him, I think. No one could blame him. Or maybe the punishment hurt him so deeply that he grow to think he deserved it... surely living there in gusu lan sect is not the healthiest option for his state of mind (we could agree that lwj doesn't care about money and privilege). So... why did he stay there and didn't choose another road?

Sorry for the long post!

Thank you for the ask, and for your kind words! 

There are factors we have to consider in this – practical, emotional, and thematic.

Firstly, there are the logistical (and most boring) reasons. After Lan Wangji brings A-Yuan back from the Burial Mounds, he’s responsible for him – and while he could take A-Yuan with him when leaving the sect, A-Yuan would have a much harder (and lonelier) childhood growing up as the child of a rogue cultivator, than he would growing up in the security of a prosperous sect with other disciples of the same age around him. We have an example of the former with Wei Wuxian himself, actually! And though he seemed to have a happy childhood, it certainly wasn’t secure, and at the age of five his parents, who were also very capable cultivators, died on a night-hunt while he was left at an inn (which probably happened regularly, because I can’t see his parents bringing him with them while on a night-hunt). If being raised in the Lan sect was an option, I don’t think Lan Wangji would choose to give A-Yuan that sort of very insecure childhood. I can’t really see him leaving A-Yuan at Gusu and defecting by himself either, especially with how reluctant his family was to accept a Wen into Gusu Lan anyway*.

Additionally, it’s important to remember that when Wei Wuxian dies, Lan Wangji is heavily injured from the disciple whip, and has to spend years recovering – he wouldn’t physically be able to become a rogue cultivator in that condition, even if he wanted to! And after he’s recovered, Lan Sizhui has already been a member of the sect for some time – again, I can’t see Lan Wangji taking him away from that.

Lastly, and very importantly, he holds a lot more influence as the second young master and Twin Jade of the Lan Clan (to the cultivation world at least – his reputation to the common people was made on his own merits!) than he would as a rogue cultivator... and that brings us to the second idea: Lan Wangji’s feelings and motivations.

Because I agree with the fact that the majority of the Lan sect, at the time of the siege, wasn't morally compatible with Lan Wangji's own ideals. But instead of leaving the sect and letting that corruption and hypocrisy stay and fester, he chooses to stay and work towards making a difference – to make it compatible, to shape it into the righteous sect it claims to be. He uses his position to teach an entire generation of juniors to be open-minded, compassionate and brave, and to not let the rules stop you from doing so (with Lan Sizhui as the primary example, but you see that in the others, too – he didn't spend all his time raising just A-Yuan). So that if or when another situation like the Siege or the Wen camps arises, they'll have the forethought to think about the situation and not be driven by mob mentality, the understanding to not fall victim to prejudice, and the courage to stand up and do the right thing, even if that means breaking some rules, because certain things are more important.

He teaches that to the people who he knows are the future of the Lan Sect, and when they take over, Gusu Lan can become the righteous sect it claims to be.

That's what he chooses to do, and chooses to do again and again – to take the initiative to make the world into a good place, when it isn't one. He didn't gain a reputation as Hanguang-Jun, for going wherever the chaos is and spending his time helping people rather than chasing acclaim, for nothing. If the sects aren't going to help, he's going to do something about it, and time and time again he does.

And that's infinitely more powerful than just walking away.

As we’re talking about Lan Wangji’s emotions and decisions, let’s consider your other thought, too: that Lan Wangji perhaps stayed because he thought he deserved it as a punishment. I don’t really believe that’s the case – not because Lan WangJi doesn’t have any turbulent feelings of guilt and regret, but because punishing himself is simply not the way he chooses to act on them. There is the scenario with the Wen brand, but it’s crucial to note that he’s drunk during that scene! It may show us his subconscious thoughts and feelings, but it doesn’t show how he’d act on them, because he doesn’t actually have the power to make conscious, meaningful decisions. However, when he does have that power, he consistently chooses to channel his grief into the inspiration and drive to not make those same mistakes, instead of channeling it into self-loathing, or even resentment for others. Instead of punishing himself for what he couldn’t do then, he focuses on what he can do now – raising A-Yuan and teaching the Lan Juniors are some examples of that. 

He and Wei Wuxian are quite similar in that aspect (another way they’re alike), and both actually have very healthy ways of coping with what happened in the past! Neither of them punish themselves over what they did wrong and can’t change, but instead focus on the present moment – and likewise, neither of them unhealthily fixate on those they’ve lost and get stuck in the past, but instead carry them with them and keep their memory alive, while accepting they’ve passed on**. However, I do think that Lan Wangji uses the past, and more specifically his grief, a lot more than Wei Wuxian, and actively channels it into not repeating the same mistakes he did. Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian simply lets the past be (while still acknowledging it) and focuses on the present. Both are very healthy ways of treating grief! 

Finally, Lan Wangji choosing this path also makes the most sense thematically. One of the main themes of the novel is the idea of moving on from resentment – the most obvious example of this is Wei Wuxian himself, but it appears in so many other characters, too. Wen Ning, for example, who decides to save Jiang Cheng from Nie Mingjue’s corpse, even after everything Jiang Cheng did to his family at the Burial Mounds. The rest of the Wen remnants, who, when they emerge from the blood pool, choose to channel their power into protecting people rather than doing something harmful (which sounds a little familiar, no?); Lan Sizhui, who after finding out about his heritage continues to be kind and compassionate even to the members of sects who were responsible for what happened; Jin Ling, who’s been brought up in an atmosphere of resentment his whole life, but learns to let go of that and has a breakdown because he realised he simply couldn’t hate anyone for the deaths of his parents!

Alternatively, if you look at the antagonists, all of them (apart from Jin Guangshan, who was driven by greed) held on to resentment in some way, and let it fester. Regardless of what people think of him, Jiang Cheng plays an antagonist’s role in the present storyline, and a big part of his character is that he let his resentment for Wei Wuxian fester instead of letting it go, and that leads him to convince himself that Wei Wuxian is still alive somewhere and therefore to him torturing demonic cultivators – and that resentment (along with poorly expressed care for Jin Ling) pretty much drives all his actions in the present timeline. Jin Guangyao’s driven by resentment for people disrespecting him and his mother because of their heritage/job, Su She is driven by resentment of Lan Wangji. Xue Yang is driven by resentment for Xiao Xingchen, and holds onto that motivation, convinces himself of it, even when his feelings get more complicated – and ultimately chooses to act in accordance with that. Even Nie Huaisang, whose role in the narrative is admittedly dubious, is driven by resentment for his brother’s death, and that is not presented as right.

Neither group of characters has suffered more than the others, and you could even argue that the first group suffered more. However, the thing that sets them apart is the way they deal with resentment. And so we come to Lan Wangji. 

Like so many other characters, he has ample reason to turn his back on the cultivation world, to not forgive and to place more importance on his negative feelings towards others than on anything positive. But just like so many other people – like Wei WuXian, like Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui, like Jin Ling – he chooses to not focus on his resentment. He gives his sect a chance, while still preserving Wei Wuxian’s memory, while still accepting they did something wrong. Lan Wangji is not somebody driven by resentment, and not someone to hold onto it; he’s someone driven by love***.

And being a member of the Lan clan won’t constrain him from that.

Thanks for the discussion, it was really interesting!

––

*Edit: Apparently it’s only Lan Qiren who was reluctant to accept him until he saw Lan Wangji’s behaviour! But with the general prejudice against the Wens, I feel like that (not necessarily the family, but other people) was still a factor in him not wanting to leave A-Yuan alone. They didn’t tell anyone, but if anyone somehow found out, that was a risk. Thanks to kimalysomg for catching that!

**Which is part of the reason takes that say Lan Wangji spent the thirteen years searching for and waiting for Wei Wuxian bother me, actually! It very much undermines Lan Wangji’s healthy coping of with grief, and diminishes his character and character arc a lot, too.

***And not just for Wei Wuxian!

[docmothra]

There's an acquaintance of mine who's conservative, and so there's a lot of reasons I don't really agree with him, but one of the things he tends to say is 'rude'. Any situation where one person is being what he sees as impolite to someone else, he'll call it out as rude. Which is fine and dandy in concept. But his concept of rude is weirdly selective. He won't call it rude if someone is making fun of gay people, for instance, or autistic people. But he will call it rude if someone is saying 'yeah you don't know this guy but he's kind of unironically racist and just a dick for the record'. Which sorta reveals it's not really about rudeness, or politeness, because he doesn't actually oppose those in practice. It almost looks like it's about social exclusion - but he pretty much tries actively to exclude the kind of person he thinks should be excluded from society (gay, autistic, furry, trans). It's completely selective. He'll hang the groups he politically disagrees with out to dry, and he'll act as if any other instance of hostility is uncalled for. I don't even know if it's conscious malice, exactly. You could say he never crosses the line of admitting malicious intent, but I don't think that changes the severity of what he's doing. In his head he's built some kind of barrier between things it's okay to be passively hostile towards - including queer people, autistic people, atheism, furries, and left-wing politics in general - and things that it isn't okay to be hostile about - including racism and sexism. Which ties into a different opinion he has that anyone in that category that should-be-outcasts: -Are morally degenerate (due to a warped understanding of what is okay and/or good) -Do not perceive the world correctly (due to their moral degeneracy/warped worldview) -Are dangerous to listen to because they might convince you their worldview is correct -Have no basis for their beliefs at all (because they didn't actually think about them) -Need to be fixed, but don't think they need to be fixed, so they should be tricked into fixing themselves Which plays into a whole long-term disingenous dynamic of goalpost moving where he'll poke and prod at your beliefs, make you feel bad about them, and complain if you: -assert a belief without proof ('lol why would I believe that') -assert a belief with scientific proof ('academic papers are so biased against conservative views they can't be trusted') -assert a belief with theological proof ('like I would trust a non-theology major to read the bible') -assert a belief with anecdotal proof ('you need a peer-reviewed academic paper to have a sample size that's trustworthy') -assert a belief with abstract moral proof ('it isn't biblical so it's fundamentally the wrong basis') -assert a belief with conceptual logical proof (he isn't reading that) -assert a belief as an unproven but personally meaningful concept (that's unconvincing, so you're wrong and you should feel bad about having your wrong opinion) -expect him to read or remember anything you say; express memory of anything he has said in the past (he's not terminally online like you, go touch grass) -express any failure to remember any detail of anything he has said in the past (lol your memory doesn't even exist, why would he listen to you?) -respond to his comments at all (he wasn't here for a big long conversation...) -fail to respond to his comments (very rude how do you expect communication to even happen here if you don't talk???) Anyway, like, that's how this kind of stuff shows up? People are just people, and over time you realize that some of them are dicks. And you also realize that they think anyone who isn't like them is just. Bad. On an inherent level. And then you realize 'holy crap I need new friends'. End rant?

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: Did you even tell anyone you were staying out?? 🤔🤔 Janis: Did YOU warn the fam you were inviting the devil inside? 🤔🤔 Grace: Rude! Grace: Someone woke up on the wrong side of the barista's bed Grace: OMG is he that bad? How shaming Janis: Wouldn't you all love to know Grace: Like you would anyway, you don't have anything to compare him too Janis: Again, you wish you knew Janis: but yes, I text them Janis: that it? Grace: Oh honey, we ALL knew you were a virgin Grace: Did he? Grace: Before you made it obvious, I mean Grace: You should have come home first, me & the girls could have helped you out Janis: It's cute Janis: all the things you THINK you know Janis: yeah, that'd be fun Janis: Mia must've dropped the invite on her way out Janis: with the story, likw Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: girl please Grace: Mia'll get over it Grace: Unlike ME! You could've told me! Janis: Get over herself? Janis: Unlikely Janis: Told you what? Grace: OMG how hungover are you!? Don't be dense Grace: THE GOSSIP obvs Grace: I have to hear it from Mia Grace: so UNACCEPTABLE Janis: It's gossip 'cos she made it Janis: as if I had a chance to tell you or anyone, even if I wanted, when she went live with it Grace: There's always time to give me the real story Grace: You've got a phone Grace: Look how quick you answered this morning 🙄 Janis: 'Cos I thought you might have some real concern Janis: shoulda known better Grace: I AM concerned bitch Grace: you could be in a ditch Janis: Yeah, new boy's a serial killer Janis: this ain't the CW Grace: I didn't even know you were with HIM, did I? Grace: You never tell me anything Janis: Now who's being dense Janis: 1+1=2 Grace: Excuse me for having a nun for a sister Grace: Usually Janis: Again Janis: get a clue Grace: OMG Grace: I'm trying Janis: Bless 💕 Grace: Are you coming home TODAY? Janis: Are the coven gone Grace: I wouldn't bother asking if they hadn't Grace: I'm not stupid Janis: Probably then Janis: I got stuff to do Grace: One of them better be 🚿 Grace: Whelan's is soooooooo gross Janis: Not like you've ever got inside to know Grace: It's not like I want to Grace: like I said, ew Janis: Not with that baby face 😂 Grace: Shut up Janis: Like I said, bless Grace: I hate you so much Grace: This is what I get for being nice Janis: Nice Janis: Where? Grace: This WHOLE convo Grace: From the moment I checked you were still alive Grace: & I defended you last night GOD KNOWS why Janis: Shouldn't have to Janis: if your friends weren't cunts you wouldn't be in such a mood Grace: You're the only one being a bitch to me, Janis Grace: Newsflash Janis: Nah Janis: I'd have to be interested for that Grace: Yeah we KNOW you're only into barista boy Janis: Why would I be interested in anything you're doing Janis: it's them with the fucked priorities for giving a shit Grace: OMG get over yourself Grace: getting one boy to sleep with you doesn't make you God's gift Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: Like I told you before, he'll get bored Janis: You first Janis: Like I told you before, get a hobby Janis: pass it on Grace: Whatever Grace: Don't come crying to me when he realises how much of a bitch you are Janis: 😰 Janis: Don't come to me when you grow a backbone and/or personality of your own Janis: still won't be interested Grace: I already have both thanks Janis: 👌 Grace: 👋 Janis: Cute 😂 Grace: At least one of us is Janis: Sick burn Janis: If only someone that weren't Mia thought so, eh babe? Janis: Sad times 💔 Grace: Take your own advice and get a clue Janis: 😂 #exposed Janis: get some self-esteem Grace: You need it more Grace: Letting that boy use you like this....tragic Janis: I'm God's gift, remember Janis: Can't have it both ways baby Grace: I said you think you are Grace: Not that he does Janis: SELF-esteem, Gracie Janis: not 'this boy would chuck it up me from behind' esteem Janis: poor thing Grace: Faking having it doesn't mean you really do, hun Grace: We can all flex on the snap Grace: You're honestly so embarrassing Janis: I don't need facetune to flex Janis: no filters gonna fix all...that 💋 Grace: You DO need it, you just don't USE it Janis: Nah, I don't though Janis: tragedy Grace: Sure Jan Grace: Keep telling yourself that, babes Janis: You keep telling yourself Janis: can't talk someone into feeling as bad as you do Janis: let your bestie in on the secret and maybe you'll both stop being such poisonous little trolls 💕 Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: You wish Grace: Can't be bullied without a bully, but you're not that important to Mia 💔 Janis: Oh no Janis: not queen Mia Janis: suck her dick a lil better and she might love you back Janis: story of your life though, that 🤷 Grace: You're actually disgusting Grace: Save it for your boyfriend, I'm sure it makes him really 😍😍😍 Janis: Yeah, and I'm the Nun Janis: the swings and roundabouts you have to go on to make me the bad guy Janis: no wonder you're braindead 😵 Grace: Yeah sure 🙄 Grace: I don't have to say things to cover up the fact I don't know what I'm doing Grace: You sound 12 Janis: Lie of the year goes to Janis: that's all that comes out your mouth Janis: fuck what's going in it 😂 Janis: I'm glad I don't like you, it'd be exhausting having to pity you as hard as is needed Grace: Again, you wish Grace: You tell me to get a hobby, you make the same 'argument' over and over again Janis: it ain't an argument Janis: irrefutable facts Janis: don't like it, change it up Janis: we all got bored a long time ago Grace: Exactly, it isn't, it's you trying to throw shade TERRIBLY Grace: You don't know a single fact about me, babe Grace: Clearly you don't like THAT if you have to keep pretending you do Grace: Hm? Sounds like me with his convo Grace: Don't you have a boy getting bored rn? You might wanna focus on that Janis: Nothing to know Janis: Shadow of a shadow Janis: Literally how are you the blandest granola ass bitch outta the lot and they're all white as hell Janis: not even earning them mixed points, it's a real talent how uninteresting you are, truly Janis: tutorial on that, please Grace: 😂😂😂😂 Grace: But you're STILL talking to me instead of him Grace: What's the matter? Not everything you hoped it'd be? So sad Janis: I got more than one braincell Janis: can talk about put mascara on Janis: though the memes of you failing in your last vid have been amusing, tah for that Grace: You should try doing it Grace: Obvs you need more that mascara but every little helps Janis: Not with a face like that Janis: but you know, more is more and it almost constitutes a mask at this point Grace: 👏👏👏 Janis: There you go, now when you cry like a little bitch about it, you've got reason beyond your victim complex Janis: welcome ✌ Grace: MINE? You're the one who thinks that we're so invested in your little love story that we're all out for sabotage Grace: Please Janis: You know you can see when people watch your stories, yeah? Janis: she was like, the first view Janis: so much for not being important, don't worry, I won't steal your girl Grace: She's mad 'cause you outshined her coffee date moment Grace: Like I said, she'll get over it Janis: Should stop making herself vom Janis: wreaks havoc on your natural glow, but that's neither here nor there Grace: And she's the evil one Grace: That's not funny or true Janis: Cry me a river Janis: not gonna if she kills herself making herself look even worse than her personality Grace: OMG STOP Grace: You're as bad as she is Grace: Obsessed with each other 🙄 Grace: Get a room or something Janis: Awh, wanna be BFFs then?! Janis: 😏 Grace: Shut up Grace: I'd rather be the one who dies Janis: Didn't think so Grace: The first thing you've got right this whole time Grace: Well done, babes Janis: I ain't the one in remedials with the rest of the thickos Grace: Stop calling me stupid Janis: Any time you fancy stopping Janis: be my guest Grace: And what? Be more like you? 😂 Janis: You wish Janis: Be less braindead, would be a start Grace: YOU wish Grace: Caring about what I look like doesn't make me braindead Grace: It makes you a judgey bitch Janis: Yeah, that's the issue Janis: look like Sephora threw up on your face all you want Janis: at least be a person with it, not a painted fuckdoll Grace: So sorry I can't get top marks in maths or whatever OMG Janis: 🔬 Grace: I don't even know what you're talking about now Janis: Just trying to find your last surviving braincell Grace: Find it with the last place you cared about anything Janis: 🔭 Janis: Nope Janis: no signs of life Janis: soz Grace: So glad I could make you feel better about your crap shag by insulting me Grace: But I'm the idiot 👌 Janis: Awh, don't do yourself down Janis: never let it be said you don't have your uses Grace: I'm not here to be used by you, hun Grace: Deal with that Janis: Just a cumdump and Mia's personal bitch Janis: coolio 👍 Grace: Says you Grace: You've known that boy for like a day Grace: & Mia's more concerned with you right now, like I said Janis: 😱 Janis: Are you SLUT SHAMING me Janis: dundundun Janis: know you're 💔 but babes, girl code Grace: I'm stating a fact Grace: You think you're better than me, you aren't Janis: You think I am Janis: I just don't disagree, that's all Grace: I think you're the worst person this family has so far produced Grace: But whatever you need to tell yourself Janis: A dagger through my heart Janis: good thing you've got no place then init Grace: Yeah Grace: Bad enough I have to have the same last name as you all Janis: Marry the first boring white boy who will settle for you and no one ever need know Grace: And follow in your footsteps? No thanks Janis: You couldn't fill these shoes, figuratively and literally Grace: I don't want to Grace: You dress worse than your boyfriend Grace: At least he gets paid to look like that some of the time Janis: as much as I'd LOVE to look like topshop's sale rack Janis: you rinse 'em every time, what's a girl to do Grace: Obvs Grace: It's all my fault you look a state Janis: I don't, so don't trouble yourself Grace: You do, but I won't Janis: Mia don't seem to think so 😘 Grace: She hates you, that's her obsession Grace: Keep looking like that, it fuels her Janis: What, the body she's actually killing herself for? Janis: Will do and it's so effortless Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I'm the one who needs a hobby and is soooo uninteresting but you keep talking about Mia cos that's really not Grace: Go into her inbox, please Janis: Like I said, get a personality and we might stand a chance Janis: surgically remove yourself or are you less of a Siamese and more parasite? Grace: Sure, I'll turn myself into her so you can be obsessed with me Grace: You two are ridiculous Janis: 😂😂 Janis: Oh honey Janis: you clearly can't, been trying for years Grace: You wish Grace: Does your boyfriend know you're in love with my best friend? Grace: You might wanna share before he catches feelings Janis: Do you know your best friend kinda hates you? Janis: 😬 too late for you, awkies Grace: Rn the feeling is mutual Grace: Get over it Jan-Jan Janis: 💔 Janis: You'll get over it Janis: well, she'll walk over you, doormat Grace: Like you care Grace: either way Janis: What's the point Janis: You're never going to Grace: I care bitch Janis: You're never going to stand up to her Janis: Why should I be waiting on it with baited breath Grace: You've never waited on me Grace: Don't act like it's Mia's fault Janis: It ain't, it's yours Janis: she's a decent scapegoat though Grace: Again, you wish Grace: Nothing's all my fault, sorry about it Janis: Trust, no part of me wishes for you as my sister Janis: especially what you've become Grace: That makes two of us Janis: You said Janis: with all the care and concern you're claiming Grace: I do care, I just wish I didn't Grace: and that you weren't my sister Janis: Get over it Grace: You can try and tell me what to do as much as you like Grace: Not gonna happen Janis: I know, you're hopelessly pathetic Janis: like I said, no baited breath here Grace: Me? Oh babes Grace: Like I said, tragic Janis: Yeah, you Grace: 😂 Janis: 😥

[ellecansee]

When we think too much rather than feel.

It leaves a stagnancy. A predictability and certainty that leaves us. Bored. Thinking we know all the ins and outs to life.

I feel that at present. But I look around my tiny flat and it is mine. It is small, it is clean and thankfully has no major pests. I wanted a fancy Victorian gin and got given something that was associated with the past. It left me, unsurprised. To know, that everyone already associates McLaren Vale with me. Is a sad thing for me. Because it is the past.

I wanted a random Victorian gin to enjoy, alone. I head to the south and I am greeted by people that I know associate me with a guy, I knew when I was 18. Who never actually liked me. Like most men, I dated or knew back then. They liked me, thought i was fun. But they didn't know me. They all thought they did. Through a screen.

I have this reluctance to ever be of substance to anyone that had to view me through a screen firstly, before meeting me. Despite knowing that's the common way everyone meets these days. It is reasonable, predictable and certain.

Then there is also the realisation of having spent too many years pining for someone that actually always viewed you as a prize. In competition with his friend (who you had slept with first). Before anyone knew you, or your substance. It is a weird space to sit in. All the hurts. All the many associations that people pit against your face. That are neither here nor there. Never of substance. But a decent association to make, anyway. But entire relationships have been founded on those pits, in this world.

Fit by an algorithm that looks at your activity, interests, mutual friends, location then decides you may work out. Romantically.

How bizarre. But I've got a whole family to decipher... Oh but it's just family. You can meet them, disagree with them and then put them to one side. As you do, with everything else that doesn't fit in, with your own world. A constant site of annoyance. Like a bad smell that won't go away. The new family is no different. They may be fun and kind and knowledgeable. But you are also, your father's daughter. So he put you on the other side of the world for a reason.

It is an unsurprising spitfire extravaganza. But you remain open to be surprised. To then keep moving with life. Rather than stuck on loop. Writing all the things that everyone already knows. Loving, laughing and hoping branches won't get caught up your nose.

Which is a constant worry, these days. Not so much. Will they like me, will we get along. Are they all nuts. But more so, just hurry up and come forward. So we can get this show on the road!

Im not as socialist as everyone else. I know that is of that frame of mind. I like my space. I also wouldn't die, if he ended up with someone else. I just would carry on. And make babies, with someone else, anyway. No regrets. Just living life. As I had always thought it was to be lived. Pragmatically, slow but also based on a reasonable space to show. She's not bleeding incessantly, she doesn't want to be everyone's servant or famous people's friends. Nor a religious person. But just admitted. And normal. So not eating the same thing every fortnight and dealing with humanity's worst fears. That others simply pity but wouldn't actually talk to at the local pub. Ever.

[mistressemmedi]

One year ago my friend got intrested in F1. It was great at first but she decided to support that only driver who annoys me more than anything. There was also 19 other drivers.. I still need to handle all my F1 frustration with my dad because I feel I can't do it 100% with my friend that she won't get hurt. I don't know why I'm writing this but has this ever happen to you? I've been wathing F1 with my dad since I was born so emotions are with me very strongly when watching.

Continues: we support different people in every sport with my friend so that wasn't a surprise when I heard who she supports in F1. Like she is always liking those ones I don't like at all (has continued more than 10 years now..) But I'm not watching other sports that emotionally than F1 and that's why it's different in this case.             

(As usual I went on a rant, so I’ll put it under the cut because I don’t to clog anyone’s dash)

Yeah, it has happened with me too. Hell, I go through it with my dad at every GP, but we like to poke fun at each other with me making fun of him every time Ferrari does poorly, and him cackling and cracking jokes at me every time STR does bad lol. At the end of the day, he is happy for me when my team gets points, and I’m happy for him when Ferrari does well, even though I am not a fan.

In regards to your friend: I’d like to say that you should be honest with her and straight up tell her “Hey, it’s great that you like F1 but just a warning that your favorite driver is not mine, so I may make snarky comments etc., so don’t get offended”. Maybe she doesn’t like your favorite driver, so you guys can make fun of each other and laugh it off.

At the same time, there are people who take this too seriously, I’ve lost some friends because of disagreeing opinions on drivers/their faves/etc. and me poking fun at situations and all that... But that’s just who I am, I’m very sarcastic and opinionated, but at the end of the day I care for my friends more. I guess these people cared about more strangers in fast cars over friendship, so they walked away.

And you know what? It’s for the better. Because if they made that choice in the first place it means that they weren’t real friends.

Same with your friend: if she can’t accept a different view on her favorite (and by different view, I don’t mean “Hey friend, I hope driver x dies in the barriers today”, that’s just nasty) and you lose her friendship over it? Then maybe she wasn’t such a good friend in the first place.

I hope this makes sense :)

Cheers