#i worked hard on this shitty meme on my 2018 phone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snowy-charm · 5 years

Text

A Treatise on Charm, Snowy

(TL;DR warning: This post is kinda long. The quick version is that I’m gonna make music now! Next post will be one of said musics. The rest of this post goes over the story of why I’m doing it. Also I use a meme twice and link some rad music three times.)

The year: 2017. October. I was given the name “Snowy Charm” as a fun pony name to facilitate a secret santa exchange online. Even though I’d been a fan of these little horses since ~2012 I’d never delved into the world of having one to call my own. I was more than satisfied bearing witness to the growing cast of canon characters - and of course my hot and heavy courting with the cast of Fallout: Equestria. (Side note to anyone who may be reading this: FoE is pretty dope, but it is also the essence of grimdark. Read at your own risk!)

Suddenly at odds with this new OC acquisition, I quickly came up with a fast and loose backstory! He was a crystal pony from the wintery crystal kingdom (”Snowy”) and was probably an artificer or craftsman of some kind (”Charm”). I joked that the reason behind my name is that I live in a snowy climate (read: the tropics) and I was quite charming (the jury is still out on that one).

The following year was my first ever convention: BronyCon 2018! An artist friend of mine graciously designed my OC with little to no input on my part and came up with a design that I instantly fell in love with.

(Pictured here subtly in front of a rack-mounted EQ I have never used, but is appropriate for an upcoming revelation.)

Isn’t he ADORABLE?! I will forever wear that badge because it is awesome. The cutie mark has been redone a little since then, and no other artist has remembered his beard yet, but I digress; this story isn’t actually about him.

Of course, BronyCon was a blast! This became my impetus to be more than simply an observer in the fandom, but to be present and belonging with others through our communal enjoyment of My Little Pony. My friends, in general, had a disinterest of the show - which, you know what? That’s fair. I don’t particularly care for Game of Thrones, Desperate Housewives, or the DCU, and it would be hard for me to feign a genuine interest in the developments thereof - but as of BronyCon I was able to play on an even field with others who shared my same passion for these candy colored equines!

Now, another thing to note of me, which will be important in a moment: I’m slightly musical. Not amazingly talented or anything, just.. slightly musical. I was REALLY into marching band (and won the John Philip Sousa award my senior year!!), but stopped refining my craft during college and onwards. Turns out playing a $5000 instrument puts a damper on your ability to own one. (Here’s a second video, and a third; I freakin love marimba.) I picked up the Ukulele for the the occasional “BUT YOU LIKE TO MAKE MUSIC” urges, but more or less ignored actually honing my abilities.

But now that I found myself surrounded by the magic of friendship combined with the magic of ponies, I wanted to CREATE. I suddenly realized that Snowy Charm was to be a MUSIC PONE. I would make FANDOM HITS that nopony had ever HEARD BEFORE (or after - I didn’t/don’t expect to be horse famous [or really even horse known (triple parenthetical asides are super cool, by the way)]).

Aaaaand promptly realized I had the better part of a decade’s worth of rust hanging onto my high-school-level skills. Not to mention that I still didn’t own the only thing I was good at playing.

“Okay, okay, it’s fine. Don’t hyperventilate, self. We’ll just make this into a project about growth in music instead.”

- Me to myself circa the realization I can only really play a single instrument, and not even well.

I decided to make the project about my journey in the music field instead of pumping out dope jams. The goal was to lay out where I was musically and pick a song each week. I’d then practice that song all week and post a recording of my warbly self performing it by week’s end. Pick up a new instrument here, learn a new software there. Maybe I’d do originals now and again, but likely I’d just scream into the void and wait for it to call me back.

Of course, the dope jams would (hopefully) come, but as Jake says:

Long story short on that one: I didn’t.

Be it procrastination or a busy schedule, I can’t really defend my past self’s choice at this point. I made all the social media accounts and sturdied myself to make the first bellow into the abyss --- but then silence rung out. (Of note, I got my twitter anniversary notice today, so it has been exactly a year from my first tentative steps.)

Flash forward a couple months - October once more. My little festive community starts up again! More fun names are given out and lore starts being woven together about these new OCs! The stories start coming quick: There’s a stallion who HATES CRANBERRIES and one who makes bomb smoothies! A diamond dog who wants to celebrate Hearth’s Warming but is the target of seemingly the entire diamond dog population’s scorn! There’s a whole school filled with students, teachers, and a will-they-won’t-they janitor/counselor combo! Snowy now owns a potion shop specializing in musical applications, not to mention somehow he’s now the ambassador to those diamond dogs! But then, unexpectedly, on the day she was supposed to return from the hospital, my mother passed away.

I had recently lost my job and moved into my folk’s home out of town. Unemployed, isolated from friends, and yeeted into the throes of grief; I did all I really could: I picked up my dumb noise stick and sang about life, love, death, and colorful talking horses.

I made my first honest-to-goodness song - Drink In - during that period. It’s about that on-again-off-again pair I introduced earlier, but it was also about my grief and healing. I’ll share some of the lyrics here that, after I wrote them, spoke to me as if I didn’t pen them my damn self:

Take a deep breath Exhale regret Drink in sunsets The best is what’s left

It may not hit you the same way as it did me, music is often subjective, but it was an imperative reminder to let go of the stress I was compounding inside of me. I needed to hear that message badly - and put a pin in that, I’ll loop back to it in a moment.

I started working to better my craft again. I helped mix/master the album that my little festive family put together. I borrowed a bass guitar from a friend and started learning a little. I even got employed to do live mixing at the church I attend! Little by little I was getting better.

But let’s fast forward again, shall we? This time to August of this year, BronyCon 2019! One of the best times I’ve ever had, but that’s not the point (maybe I’ll go into it in a later post?). I came home invigorated and ready to face the world again after being exhausted for almost five months straight. I felt free from burdens and there was something on my mind that hadn’t been there for a long time: I was ready to CREATE.

If you were at the con, or if you’ve been on twitter recently, this next refrain may strike you as familiar:

(Patch done by @sew-adorkable)

I knew I had to make a song about it, but I had to make it good enough to be heard by folk. It had to be perfect before I could release it and have guitars and electronic music stuff and all the bells and/or whistles. I have a launchpad, unused, from last year - so I plugged it in with Ableton Live so I could make them funky horse beatz (with a z of course, because that’s 20% cooler).

Aaaaand promptly realized I was way out of my depth.

I’ve recorded live performances (and myself) with Reaper and Audition before, and I feel like I know at least some of the basics with them. I can put a vocal into compression, mix the instruments okay together, do some EQing, etc. But I was now adrift trying to get the computer to make sounds that I wasn’t able to do myself.

I couldn’t figure out how to put anything other than the default synth into reaper and I opened Ableton because that’s better for electronic music I hear and I want to learn how to do that and they don’t even have a timeline and use clips and what are clips and how do you make them and what are samples and how do you get them and how do I even record a voice in this thing and there’s not a TIMELINE and when you stop the noise the session isn’t stopped and the launchpad won’t work and I went back to reaper and they have a drum sampler and how do you get a sample and how do you install things and is this my personal hell and I understand this is a run on sentence - I was frustrated and I quit.

Remember the pin I told you to put in earlier? Refresh that into memory, here’s where it’s relevant.

About two weeks after this whole debacle I was listening to shuffle all on my phone and Drink In happened to come on. I remembered how the completely unintentional message of my own song really struck me a year prior. This stupid song about a pair of pony OCs with terribly played ukulele and shitty bargain bin percussion recorded with a mic not suited to record anything except vocals... and despite all that, despite all of the technical barriers that were in the way, despite clipping during recording ukulele and hearing the distortion every time I listen to the track, it helped me restore tranquility when my inner world was naught but a maelstrom of grief and tumult.

...I guess it didn’t have to be perfect to reach folks. Who knew?

And that right there is the moral I’m learning today. I struggle with it a lot, but there’s a problem with perfection: allow yourself only to produce perfection and you’ll produce nothing. I mean it’s a well known quote, right? Nobody’s perfect.

So, I apologize in advance to all people with ears, but it is now my intention to bring (hopefully) pleasant noises to the grandiose cacophony that is the internet. They won’t be perfect, but I’ll work on it.

Anyway, come to TrotCon.

(Art by Witchtaunter, Flitterfel, and Mentita Kirby)

P.S. Holy bananas you actually read this monster of a post? Give yourself a pat on the back! Future posts likely won’t be as herculean of a read, but no promises. Next time I’ll actually upload “Drink In” so you can hear this song I’ve referenced so much - and then I’ll talk about where I’m at mechanically and the goals I have by doing this whole thing. Oh, and don’t expect all the neat art to happen every post! I went a little YCH/commission crazy after I got back from BronyCon, but I’m also not made out money so it won’t last forever. I don’t expect really anybody to read a huge post ostensibly about someone’s OC, and even the lifetime of this project I expect less or equal to about 10 people, but I hope you find a sense of belonging and participation here! Hello to all 10 of you!

See y’all next time!

#I don't know how to tag things #MLP #Probably MLP #Horse Music?#Snowy Charm #long read #I'msosorry #I met Wootmaster at BronyCon last year #I sang the Halo theme at him #It was pretty cool #notice me senpai

2 notes · View notes

newmoneytrash · 5 years

Text

GOOD VIDEO GAMES THAT I PLAYED IN 2018

(I haven’t proofread this yet so it’s probably grammatically stupid, but I’m a stupid person so it fits my aesthetic)

I finished over 30 games in 2018, and spent I don’t know how long playing bits and pieces of I don’t know how many others, and, I gotta say, I feel maybe less connected to video games than I ever have before? I’ve had so many moments of weird disassociation while playing games this year where I’ve just felt like I’ve stepped outside of myself and asked “why am I doing this?”, only to handwave my astral projection away because I know why I’m doing this. I’m having fun!

I think?

There were many times where I would have this haunting, sinking feeling. The words of the modern philosophers Blink-182 reverberating around the inside of my head; well, I guess this is growing up. I turned 30 this year; it’s only natural with age that I would slowly move away from something that was so important to me from my childhood. My life has pretty drastically changed over the last five years or so, predominantly positive changes, thankfully, and my priorities are just different now. So it makes sense that my love and dedication towards video games should change too, right?

But then that same disassociating feeling would come when I would engage with other mediums. I felt it while reading books, watching movies or TV, when I was working, even while listening to music. Even while eating? And I *know* why I eat, it’s important! Which slowly lead me to the realisation that *I* wasn’t growing up, I’m still as cool and chill as ever. I own a skateboard and a basketball and completely ignore the dress code at work because I’m chill as hell! But like so many other aspects in my life, my priorities and the things I value have changed. It’s just that they changed without me realising and it took me the entire year to catch up with them.

I spent a lot of time playing games I didn’t like playing without realising that I didn’t like them. If I had the year over, I wouldn’t have banged my head against God of War trying to like it just because everyone is telling me it’s Good. I wouldn’t have spent dozens of hours playing and finishing Spider-Man despite feeling no connection to it all. I used to pride myself on playing and liking old games and bad games and finding things that I enjoyed about them on their own merits, but on reflection I realise they were just the games that I played in the gaps between these giant grey pillars of Big Video Game releases. This year, for whatever reason, that thought process inside of me snapped and I’m glad it did.

A big part of what made me want to play the new big releases was that I liked to be a part of the larger conversation about them, but now I realise the only people I actually want to have conversations with don’t care how new or old a game is, or how good or bad it’s considered to be, as long as I care about what I’m talking about.

Anyway, this is just a *very* long way of me making a very simple point, which is; fuck video games, do whatever you want.

Despite all of these weird misgivings and all this introspection I still had a good time with some dumb, stupid video games and I still like writing about them, so I’m gonna.

Resident Evil

I finished 2017 by playing both The Evil Within Games as well as Resident Evil VII and Revelations, and started this year by playing Resident Evil 4, 5, Survivor, and Operation Raccoon City. That’s a lot of Resident Evil! Too much? Who’s to say? (Me, I’m to say. And; yes, it’s entirely too much). I also spent about a month or so this year watching through all of the Friday the 13th movies which, weirdly, helped me frame the weird feelings I had towards Resident Evil. For both franchises there is something extremely specific that I want from them that I just don’t think either of them are really interested in giving me. I don’t want an impervious, hulking demon-Jason rampaging through the streets of New York or floating through space, I want the weird skinny, nimble Jason with a sack on his head who has lived almost his entire life alone in the woods just outside of Crystal Lake. An extremely human Jason who, when he gets hurt, grunts and cries in pain, but perseveres regardless because his mom is just a decapitated head now and he’s not really sure how he feels about it.

With Resident Evil I just want these small, personal stories. Individuals caught in a shitty situation with no escape and no larger agenda. No neat fitting, worldwide conspiracy or double turns involving the president’s grandfather owning founding stock in Umbrella or the T-Virus being written on the back of the Declaration of Independence. I loved the first two thirds of Resident Evil VII because that’s how it felt. It felt so *personal* in a way that I wanted. Resident Evil never wants to give me that, at least not entirely, but I will latch on to the few instances it does with dear life because, when they commit, even just slightly, it’s as good as anything can be.

Tony Hawk’s Underground

On Christmas day I fell into one of those weird deep but fleeting depressions that really only Christmas can provide. I tried to sleep but I just couldn’t, that weird sense of dread and helplessness eating at me, keeping me awake until the early hours of the morning. So, I got out of bed and decided to just embrace my depression by sitting in the dark and staring into the harsh glow of my computer monitor. I don’t know what it was that drove me to download all of the Tony Hawk games available for PC, but I did. It was cathartic spending hours mounting disks and entering cmd prompts to get those old games to work on stupid Windows 10. I then stayed up until six in the morning playing Underground, letting this warm and familiar game gently ease me back to a place and time when the only thing I cared about was stealing ten dollars out of my dad’s wallet so I could go to McDonald’s. It’s good to know that no matter where I am or what I’m doing or how I feel there will always be a place I can retreat to where Eric Sparrow is the world’s biggest dickhead and where I can do a 720 Benihana behind an alien themed strip club next to a cop standing suggestively next to a goat.

I was 15 when I first played Underground, and I’m 30 now, and it’s comforting to know that on the simplest level the things that I value the most are still largely the same. And those values are hating cops and listening to NOFX. Hopefully I can revisit it when I’m 45 and, if I do, I hope that I feel largely the same way.

Yakuza 4

I started my slow journey through the Yakuza series almost exactly three years ago and, in that time, I have played through seven games (finishing Kiwami, 4, and 5 this year). I’m part way through the Yakuza Fist of the North Star game and then, after that, I only have three games to go until I’m all caught up. Which, to be fair, will probably mean that by the time I’ve finished those three games two more will have been released. It’s a never-ending cycle!, but one that I’m glad I’m on.

I chose to specifically highlight Yakuza 4 because it just felt so special to me. It was the perfect meeting of everything that I have loved about all of the games that I have played, while also introducing me to characters that I have grown to love more than any others. Kiwami is a good game, but it’s just a remake of the first, and a budget remake at that, so it’s hard for me to feel strongly about it. Yakuza 5 is also good but, fuck, it’s *way* too long. It shouldn’t be that long! It’s like 60 hours long. That’s too long! Yakuza 4 gets everything right, it hits all of the sweet spots that every game after it should be judged against. And it also introduces Akiyama, a fictional man that I would risk my life for.

I try to recommend Yakuza to everyone, but it’s a *very* hard sell. It’s so long and so story dense. Every game except for the very first is spoken exclusively in Japanese, and reading subtitles for a series where each entry averages a 30-hour minimum play time is a lot to ask. But when you see Kiryu fight with his conscience over whether or not he should buy a porn magazine for a kid it really puts it all into perspective.

Final Fight: Streetwise

Final Fight: Streetwise is such a meme of a game. One of the classically bad attempts at converting a beloved 2D franchise into a 3D game. I’d seen videos of it before, even once watching an entire playthrough of it, and, sure, it seemed bad, but it also seemed charming too. I decided to finally sit down and play it for myself to see if I was just missing something in only having watched it and not played it and, to really no surprise because I’ve accepted that I’m just trash who loves trash, I loved it! It’s not a *good* game, but it has so much heart! I thought it was going to be something that was phoned in, a poorly put together 3D brawler with the Final Fight named slapped on top of it, but it isn’t. You can just feel that they wanted this to be something, and I really think it could have been! It’s too much of a stretch to think if they did a *few* things differently this wouldn’t be a bemoaned misstep in a dying franchise, but a cult classic that never got the praise it deserved.

It's very silly and unnecessarily over the top, but there is nothing that you can say that will convince me that if this game didn’t have the Final Fight name on it people would still bring it up today as something that we missed the potential on. This is maybe the hottest take that I have that no one will ever even pretend to care about, but I don’t care! Final Fight: Streetwise deserved better.

Florence

I don’t really have any patience for mobile games outside of this one NBA Jam game that I’ve had on my phone for like eight years and play exclusively when I hide in the bathroom at work because I don’t want to do any work, but Florence is so short and so incredibly charming that it might be my favourite game that actually released in 2018. It’s a narrative game about the life of a relationship between you, Florence, and some dude that maybe had a name but I don’t remember. A lot of the actual activities you do in the game are mundane, like brushing your teeth or unpacking your belongings or doing math on a spreadsheet at work, but they serve to make this very personal story feel all the more grounded.

It’s also the only video game I’ve ever played that has been set in Melbourne, where I live, and incorporates a lot of local places and scenery and that was very cool and exciting for me!

If you have a compatible smartphone please play Florence.

Severed

I don’t know that I really have anything particularly interesting to say about Severed. I played Guacamelee for the first time this year after owning it for a long time and just never getting around to it, and I fell in love with it, devouring it in a few days. It sent me on a trip through Drinkbox Studios’ catalogue, playing all of their games with the exception of Guacamelee 2 (I want to get around to it, but I’m just destined to take a long time getting there). The game that I probably looked forward to the least was Severed. It’s a first-person dungeon crawler with metroidvania elements where the combat and interactions with the world is done exclusively on a touch screen. I don’t like touch screen games at all, especially not ones with precise movements and timing, but I thought I would try it regardless and almost immediately fell in love with it. The art style is incredible and the general tone and mood of the game rules. Guacamelee and those Tales from Space games are super goofy, so I wasn’t expecting Severed to be so… dark. But it is! And it rules. I really can’t oversell how beautiful it is, especially if you play on like a newer iPad or something where the colours can really pop.

Kingdom Hearts II

Kingdom Hearts is some stupid bullshit where you play as a guy who looks like a DeviantArt sketch titled Cloud-Strife-Twink.bmp with amnesia and Donald Duck yells homophobic slurs at you until you remember who you are and then you fight members of a My Chemical Romance cover band because they stole the last of Aladdin’s magic beans until Mickey Mouse shows up to tell you to kiss your girlfriend about it.

It’s the only game franchise in history that makes you want to fly to Japan and choke Tetsuya Nomura to death for making the most consistent voice of reason in this elaborate universe Goofy, the idiot dog-man.

Fuck Kingdom Hearts. Five Stars.

Red Dead Redemption II

Despite feeling totally disenfranchised with the Big Video Game industry, I still remained extremely excited for Red Dead Redemption II. The first game might be my favourite game of all time, and this game just looked like more of that but better looking and bigger and more new.

It *isn’t* that, though. At least not entirely.

The thing that I love the most about this game is that it doesn’t even consider valuing or respecting your time. It goes at its own pace, it takes it’s time in almost every single thing it does. It’s slow, sometimes painfully slow, but in a way that’s consistent. It never feels like it’s slow because they fucked up and a made a mistake or because they needed to pad the game out, it’s slow because that’s the speed that this world moves at and I respect the hell out of it. Newer games seem to lean more towards being snappier and faster and more accessible, which is a largely positive move, but Read Dead Redemption II could have very easily been called Minutiae Simulator 2018 with the amount of small and mundane things it asks of you.

Creating a world this intricate and purposeful and slow made me feel a connection with Arthur Morgan that I don’t know I’ve felt with a video game protagonist in… well, ever, I think? I care about changing his clothes, not just to make him look cooler but just because people need to change their clothes, so he does too. I care about grooming Arthur, making sure he’s well fed and bathes at least somewhat regularly. It got to a point where I realised that I had very easily slipped into role playing this character in a way that I have never done before, and it happened very naturally and without a conscious effort to do it.

I used to live across from a park that held a regular LARPing group and, whatever, that’s cool! They have this thing that they’re passionate about and it lets them engage with it creatively and they have built this community and that’s valid as hell and it rules. But? Also? At the same time? They’re just fuckin’ big huge dorks. They’re still valid, but there is just no escaping that they are giant nerds doing something extremely dorky.

Well the stupid shoe is on the other idiot foot now because that’s me, but without the creativity or community or even the part where you go outside.

At least I don’t have to carry my giant wizard stick on the train.

6 notes · View notes

shituationist · 6 years

Link

SHITHOLE ORG

Not only did Turning Point refuse to accurately report on the facts of the event, but you assured us you would have our backs when we did receive this onslaught of harassment online, and from other Turning Point chapters. Instead, Turning Point not only did nothing about this, but invited one of the bullies to speak on stage at the Student Action Summit in Florida this past December. Meanwhile, I have been disciplined by Turning Point national and Charlie Kirk himself for defending myself against other Turning Point members who came after me. Strangely, these same individuals were allowed to criticize us free of charge.

Although I thought the safe space event was funny and have zero remorse for holding it, I took full responsibility for it when Turning Point failed to show any leadership. I had zero obligation to act in this manner, however my heart and soul were still dedicated to helping this organization grow as much as possible. With this, I swallowed my pride, apologized and moved forward in the direction that Turning Point wanted me to. Since then, I have worked tirelessly to make the event a thing of the past, and make Turning Point at Kent most remembered for the values we represent, rather than the event we held.

Looking to help the chapter move into a new direction, I have been eager to host guest speakers, and plan big events for my final semester of college. However, despite Frankie giving me the go-ahead to host the NRA at my campus all the way back in October, no headway has been made in getting them to Kent more than four months later. After asking Frankie if I could organize this event myself, he refused to let me do so. Still, all these months later, zero events have been planned for our chapter, and neither of you have offered us any help. You would think having one of the most active chapters in the country, and wanting to help Kent State get a better name for its chapter, you would be jumping at the opportunity to secure us big name speakers. Instead, you can’t even help us coordinate a single, menial event, let alone a speaker.

I have tried time and time again to reach out to the two of you to get an event scheduled, and neither of you seem to have the time to get back to me, despite it being your job to do so. Why are they paying you to help grow chapters if you can’t even answer a text? I get more of a response when Frankie wants to argue with me about why he is agreeing with people who call me a Nazi on Twitter, rather than getting the NRA to campus.

Last semester, Frankie told us we were not allowed to bring Kyle Chapman (the Based Stickman) to our campus since Turning Point wants to distance itself from the alt-right, despite him being a Constitutionalist Ron Paul supporter. Meanwhile, Frankie was liking tweets from notorious Charlottesville attendee and white nationalist icon, James Allsup.

Furthermore, you have been fully aware of the increasing levels of drama within our chapter, and offered to help mediate the situation back in December. As it has reached unbearable levels in the last few weeks, you two assured me you would handle the situation accordingly. Instead, you won’t take my phone calls at the times you tell me you want to talk to me, and can’t even so much as respond to a text yet again. You were also made aware of how this has started to affect my emotional health, and still refuse to take me seriously, and act as the leaders you are supposed to be. You had me believing you would have my back, but have instead left me alone once again. I did not have a choice to go to anyone else, and you assured me you would handle the situation.

As of right now, I am in disbelief at how I went from being so upbeat, enthusiastic, and passionate about this organization to being disgusted, frustrated, and embarrassed to have invested my entire senior year into an organization founded by a college dropout who hires some of the most incompetent, lazy, and downright dishonest people I have ever encountered. While Turning Point USA is a career for the two of you, for some of us it was a passion. Instead of recognizing this, you put your paychecks ahead of the principles you claim to represent, and turned your most dedicated activists away from your organization.

The diaper-clad right-wingers who organized a protest against “safe spaces” (can you imagine a dumber use of time and financial resources?) is quitting the organization and disbanding the chapter after Charlie Kirk failed to shield them from “online harassment”.

Why is this such a common theme on the right? Talking up a big game about how hard they are to offend, then whining for literal months about the “harassment” they faced on the internet, when they put themselves out as public figures against policies designed to protect students from harassment? Tuck your tail and run on home, kiddos.

Even sadder is that TPUSA, which receives millions of dollars from rich conservative donors, is unable to actually coordinate internal affairs with any semblance of effectiveness. I really suspect that TPUSA is just a scheme for Charlie Kirk to launch himself into media stardom, although it’s failing at even that since Kirk is apparently not creative enough in his (ab)use of language to inspire anything other than sneers and laughs.

However through all of this, I am thankful for something. I have realized how much of a shithole organization Turning Point USA is, and am glad I got out of this bullshit before I invested my whole life into it, let alone just my senior year of college. Now that I have a clear conscience and have no desire to continue my employment with Turning Point, I will have the time to find a real job, something I recommend for you. Maybe answering to business professionals rather than college dropouts, egotistic enough to put their face on stupid memes, will give you the leadership skills you desperately need for your positions.

What a fucking joke. Conservatives are the easiest people on the planet to scam. Anyone giving their money or time to Charlie Kirk deserves to be robbed by him.

74 notes · View notes

blame-canada · 6 years

Text

My Book of Memories - Part One - Creek

Hello friends! I’ll be brief bc I don’t have a lot of time, but this is meant to be an entry for the February 2018 South Park Drabble Bomb prompt “Pining,” but also works for “Confession.” It’s meant to be read like a journal entry. Enjoy! You can read it on AO3 here.

My Book of Memories - by Tweek Tucker, 2017

Craig: The contents of this book are for me more than anything, but I’m sure that you’ll like it once I’m long gone and unable to protest. :P It’s important to me that I don’t forget the most important parts of my life, and it happens to be that you make up most of them. I’m sure you’re pretty smug about that.

I know it’s probably weird to address this to you when I’m still alive and I don’t know when my time will come, but it just feels right. Hopefully you’ll be able to read these someday and smile. I just want you to keep smiling.

I love you, Tweek, forever your sunshiny star ✰

Winter, 2007

I have a hard time recalling a point in my life where I wasn’t at least a little in love with Craig. We’d been close friends since elementary school, ‘close’ becoming ‘best’ by the end of middle school, and high school just as tightly knit. We were never without one another, and when we weren’t at each other’s side, we were on our phones, texting what we’d have whispered into ears if we were together. Little thoughts, comments, noises, anything- we shared anything and everything.

It therefore came as a rather uncomfortable shock to find that Craig was, for some reason, not sharing everything with me anymore, and for seemingly no reason.

I noticed he didn’t stay over as long, looked at me longer but turned away more frequently, cut his own sentences off more. I thought I had done something terribly wrong, and it kept me up more than usual at night for weeks, maybe even months! I would watch the glow of my phone’s light reigniting with each text on my bedside table, too afraid to pick it up on the off chance that it was a friendship breakup text that awaited me. I’d breathe a sigh of relief in the morning when I found only group chat notifications, and random pictures Craig liked to send me in the middle of the night; he slept lightly, and each time he would stir half awake, he’d send me some stupid meme or picture that made him think of me, and I saved them all in a folder in my phone. Knowing him more intimately now, I don’t think that he was really a light sleeper at all and instead made the extra effort of his own accord, and that was even more endearing. Maybe it’s selfish of me to think that way, I’m not sure.

I wasn’t I can’t remember when exactly this happened, but I remember it was kind of cold outside and we weren’t able to go inside yet because we always got to school ahead of time and they kept the front doors locked. I forgot my coat again and he gave me his hoodie again, and we stood silently together like always, too tired to come up with conversation. We watched our breath create little clouds in the sky and wordlessly started a competition to see who could make the biggest ones. He won because he’d been playing trombone for a while in the shitty middle school band and I was chronically short of breath. We giggled together, and then he kissed me.

It was so sudden I didn’t really know how to react, and it was so quick that he backed away before I could kiss him back. He looked away immediately and started to walk down the sidewalk while he muttered to himself. As I chased him down I had a million thoughts racing through my head- about his distance, his longer stares, his increasing smiles, and what they could all mean. Suddenly, with a kiss, he’d cleared that all up for me. I don’t know if he knew this, but I felt like I was about to hurl (whether from nerves or excitement I couldn’t tell).

Despite my nausea though, I grabbed his arm, and when I caught his face- vulnerable and troubled, and maybe a little scared- I had no other desire but to kiss him again, and so I did.

It was cold and different and scary, but it was good because of who it was with. It wasn’t until I kissed him that second time that I realized I’d wanted him for a long time too. I felt like an idiot, and he told me he did too, for waiting so long. That day was totally checked out and I remember not being able to remember anything I’d learned in school as soon as I left the building.

Because when I stepped outside, there was Craig, at the usual post that we met up at after school, but it was different, and with a new feeling deep in my tummy, we held hands as more than just friends. He kissed me again when we got to my house first, and we texted all night. He told me about how long he’d been into me like that, that he was embarrassed that he hadn’t said something sooner. He apologized for kissing me without asking, and when he did that, I knew I was already taken. We were in sophomore year, and that was that.

#spdrabblebomb #south park #tweek tweak #creek #creek sp #south park fanfiction #sp fanfic #my fanfic #my fanfiction #drabble

39 notes · View notes

rogue-snorunt · 6 years

Text

Why I made a ko-fi

I got an anon who said that if I'm going to ask the public for money, than I need to explain why and it better be good. Which. Subtlety kind of rude but I get it. I'd want to know the story too and while I did give the explanation already in my first post about it, because I broke my own link with my incredible stupidity, I took it down.

reposted the link to my Kofi that hopefully works now but did leave out the explanation because I feel bad involving others in my problems and I don't want people to hear em and feel guilted into anything.

So here it is: the full obnoxiously long saga of the series of unfortunate events that had led me to making the Kofi from start to finish describing my 2017-2018 life presently.

It all started back in January of last year..

The cafe in which I work.. Worked? Work.. closes every January for cleaning for anywhere between 2wks and a month and in the time they encourage us to apply early and collect unemployment. This would be my first and last ever time doing this.

Why close? Mainly because my bakery is an old fashion French bakery where our lawyer city boy rich owner went to France and liked some countrymans brick oven so much he dropped I think it was a million or so to not only buy the oven, but to actually bring said oven to America brick by fucking brick.

And to clean this wood fed oven the size of a living room, you need AT LEAST 2-3 wks to let it cool down enough for some poor scrawny guy to climb in through the tiny wood stuffing hole and excerise all that soot. Plus deep cleaning a detached two story bakery; the kitchen and cafe itself..

Anyway back to the plot:

So on Jan 1st,2017 I applied and by Jan 14th2017, the place temp closed for cleaning.

I had saved 900$ for this because I'd be okay for the month.. $200/month for rent; $50 for phone, $35 for gas, $130 for groceries for me (who has strict diet of lactose and gluten free diet because I WILL die if I eat gluten because my organs swell; attack themselves and try and shut down. Rip™ my diet gets fucking hella expensive. Bread alone is &4-$5 bucks) $300 monthly student loan etc..

Well: not a week in our gas heater said fuck you. So to help repair, there went -$400 bucks. A WEEK IN. Than my grandmas car died, -$250 a week later. Fuck me gently.

Than the fateful blizzard night of Jan 31st 2017 that would be the catalyst of unfortunate bullshit leading today.. at 4:35 on my friend was bringing me home after a fun weekend, as I do not have a car, and he wanted to make sure I got home safe before the super storm hit. The cafe was reopening Feb 10th.

I was later informed that at around 4:56, my friend hit black ice and we °360 hard into a tree. I only remember seeing it about to happen and worrying about my glasses about to break, then nothing. Then looking at my blurry hand and even with my one good but still kind of blind eye, I saw that it was black; blue and I couldn't move it. Then I guess I said "well shit" and went to sleep.

I had broken not only my glasses trying to protect them, the fucking irony.. but my metacarpals; my nose, inhaled the chemical death from the airbag and recieved mild chemic Burns to face and throat. My smol rib cage was punched by the airbag so hard it got bullied out of place and was now compressing my lungs and a severe concussion.

My friend luckily being a 6' ft some man was set far away from air bag and being the impact was more my side, had only bad bruising to the limbs but okay. His truck now an accordion.

The doctor only looked at my hand and ignored my concussion, as I had an in the ambulance and was apparently making stupid nonsense jokes. So they assumed I was fine I guess.

I had to call in to my job and sadly tell them the news I would not be able to work for maybe a few months.

A month later while home and coming down the stairs, I suddenly could not breathe and got light-headed. Not good when you on stairs. I ended up refuckin up my metas and now add broken tail bone to the list.

My return to work just went from hopeful 3-4 months to 6. I was not financially equipped for this

But wait rogue! The unemployment!

Ah yes. The fucking thing that would fuck me harder then the airbag and stairs combined.. You see:

I had asked everyone I knew that had ever collected unemployment before what to do and even the girl who did the disability thing: for I was unable to work; disability would not kick in until at least a month. I got bills men, life don't stop cause bad shit you know?

Everyone told me, collect unemployment until Disability kicked in. Then stop. Okay.. these 6 people would know best right? Dingdong: unfortunate event #3 so far:

By the time disability kicked in I had collected $700 caps. Nice! Right? Well my honest naive ass thought how you cancelled unemployment was to tell em to cease and why. So I did.I explained what happened. This proved to be the biggest mistake of my pathetic life and installed the lesson of "don't be honest with big brother." They said "oh no you got injured? Well guess what fucko. You now have to pay back the $700, or else and guess what, we adding an bonus fuck you of $200 ."

Hahahahahaha-what?

I'm not able to work; disability only gave$100 some and I got friends and family I am in debt to for helping during these shenanigans.

Then unfortunate events #4-#9 took place. my aunt died.

I had to be hospitalized for pancreatitis; kidney stones and infections a few times, sometimes for all em at once.

Then my dog prostate cancer became apparent and despite the medicine and surgery every thing that could hell, he had to leave us for the rainbow bridge.

Than my grandma's car died again.

Then my stepmother died.

Grandma had to get surgery for her knees and began to complain of occasional blindness and migraines.

Went back to work early because you guys do what you gotta do man, only it's 7 months later and in a couple more, the fucking Cafe is going to close again.

By the time it did, I had been using every paycheck to catch up on bills; pay back the my friends and family lent, paying the late bills from my dog and car repairs, back owed payment and feedback to the student loan. and just as I had started seeing the light at the tunnel.. we closed and I wasn't prepared.

Unemployment have nothing but the middle finger.

It'll be fine.. I can handle a month. It'll suck but-

ITS NOW MAY AND THEY AIN'T OPEN.

During the time I was laid off this year I spent my time as follows:

Joined Tumblr and began to meme to counter that bi-polar depression and made some friends, looking at you @m-is-for-mungo 😘💞💞

A man grabbed my hand that didn't heal right and squeezed it so hard he fucked the bone. Had to go back to p.t. Hand once again fucking useless and I had posted about this way back, if you dig in my archive, you'll find the posts.

Applied for a state job at our prison with my friend whose already there, as kitchen worker

Got the surgery that I could no longer put off as it was too fix the anatomical problem contributing factor to my organs rioting like they do, but thankfully since it was considered life threatening, my insurance covered it.

Finally deal with death of my dog; and my family. Then my dad having a stroke and other family stuff.

Got that pesky rogue ribcage displacement taken care of

Fell down the fucking stairs again.

Adopted a special needs cat.

Became once again a financial burden and the moment I could, filled the still laid off time by trying to help my friend at their restaurant as much as possible.

Got the "we want you asap BUT thanks to state Bullshit like budget stuff.. We have to wait for the actual state to say yes" call from the prison call.

My uncle was discovered to cancer but by the time it was found, he had a week left. Then he died.

Got my shit broken by the scorned ex of our roommate

And then got the fucking letter from unemployment mildly threatening me to pay up.

But you said you didn't have a car in January 31st but then you do now??

After the car event, my friend told me to seek comp because I did get fucked up and being a baker who broke their hands, shit ain't good.. I did not want to because it was my friend, it wasn't their fault and if I had had my own car or just during go there in the first place this wouldn't have happened. Reluctantly after much badgering, I did.I did not get anything however until a year and half half later. and yeah, I’ll tell you how much seeing how Im being brutally honest: $10,000.

I immediately bought a $4000 car so I would never again be a burden and every single car I’ve ever owned have been $100+ garbage death traps I got from shady people and for once in my fucking life I wanted a car that wouldnt break down or try to kill me a week later; helped my grandma buy a car that wouldn't fail her, bought her a new fridge because hers died and paid some of her bills she got behind on. My friend had fallen behind on their bills as well and I owe everything I am and still being alive to these people.

You bet my stupid ass, I used almost every dime to help them. And id fucking do it again because: homies help homies.. And when your Nana whose been both mom; dad and nana to you and is the reason you weren't place in foster care needs you.. You fucking help her no matter what.I did have enough to pay the student loan for last month and this month. I got a new track phone because mine broke, bought a pair of shoes because I've only ever had my loafers and the soles fell off finally and I brought groceries. I have enough to pay rent and I am now tapped out.

My only debt is this $900 fuck you from the government and my $15000k student loan.

And now y'all caught up on the fucking disaster that is my life.

I'm sorry for this sobstory of me crying about my problems but i.. I really do not like asking for help.i hate asking for help. I hate that I have to ask for money because I've been in desperate shitty situations my whole damn life and managed to somehow scrape by but for the first time, I'm in a situation that I can't fix alone. And I fucking hate it and that I have to admit it. but I need help .

This is why I made the Kofi

A kofi that is absolutely only for and will only be used, to pay that $900. I promise you that even if I become homeless, I am going to pay that goddamn bill before anything else. Because I helped everyone with their debt and they are all good now, we all squared and now it's my turn to be okay glib-dimit

#ask a rogue a question #explanation #i defeatedly #desperately and guiltedly i need fucking help #kofi roguesnorunt

2 notes · View notes

chupacabrasmustdie · 7 years

Text

Meme

I was tagged by @goodbibarbarella. Thank you! :D

Rules: Answer the ten questions given and write ten new ones for ten other people.

1. Is there a piece of modern media that has inspired your creativity the most? I’d say the one thing that inspired me the most in the past years has been Dragon Age: Inquisition? I’ve had an on and off thing with drawing/writing for… all of my life lol but this game shook me out of a years-long funnk, got me drawing and writing again, using colors, creating actual characters, headcanoning to infinity and back, not just about the protagonists I built for the game, but also for canon characters and just random OCs. I just finished going through my old tags and had a blast. Not sure why this one game in particular -- I suspect the lore is both rich and generic enough for everyone to have something to get into. Also it was my first time playing on a “next gen system” so everything looked SO FUCKING PRETTY OMG.

2. Do you have to finish a book once you’ve started it, or are you able to walk away if it doesn’t interest you? I like to know how stories end, but I’m lazy enough to just… not pick up the book again (this may or may not be what’s happening rn with White Jazz, whoops).

3. Do you wait until you’ve finished a current project before you start a new one, or are you the kind of person that has a folder full of WIPs? Definitely the latter, but until I’ve churned out The Thing™, I tend to keep working on it, so a lot of these WIPs are essentially the same story, just seen/told from different angles

4. Do things have to be just right for you to be able to write, or can you write wherever/whenever? I’m not sure? I mean, logically I should be able to write best at home, seated at my computer, with a cup of tea and some tasty snacks, but when I do have free time at home I usually end up faffing about on tumblr. I write best in shitty conditions (on my phone, on the bus), or at work, when I’m supposed to be, you know, working. But maybe this is right for me.

5. Do you have a favorite terrible book? I got rid of it eventually, but for a while I kept Irène Frain’s Les hommes, etc. just so I could re-read it and marvel at how dull it was, and badly-written, and cliché af. (seriously, it’s ridiculous)

6. Do you have a OTP? A NOTP? A BROTP? I’m in a bit of a fandom funk atm, but generally speaking, yes -- lots of them! They change over time, but can usually be brought back to life with the right amount of tumblr and daydreaming. Right now I don’t ship anything too hard, platonically or not, but I do hate some ships I’ve seen or read about -- including Downton Abbey’s Thommy (blaming you, tohru) and Game of Thrones’ Jony.

7. Do you write fanfiction? If yes, what was the first piece/fandom you wrote? Well, I’m not writing much right now but I have in the past, and I love it! I think my first "real” fic was a sequel to Squaresoft’s Final Fantasy Adventure GB game. I wrote it on an actual typewriter and it was all dialogue. Iirc -- it was tropey as hell, and just plain bad.

8. Do you find drawing, writing, or reading more relaxing? Reading, probably. With drawing and writing, I’m always questioning whether what I’m doing is Right™ -- and suspecting it isn’t

9. What is your favorite cliché trope - to read and/or write? Pining. In moderation, and even so I’m aware that it’s pretty childish, but it just hits all of my buttons.

10. How many journals do you have? Describe the prettiest one/your favorite. I’ve had a few physical journals in the past, mostly notebooks, but I guess the most consistent journaling I did was online -- on livejournal, actually. I blogged for like… 4 years there? five? I went private in the last year and half, but it helped me realize that I was just going around in circles -- and that seeing patterns isn’t enough to get better. Uh, so yeah. No journal for me anymore.

And now for the tags and questions

When it comes to character creation, what comes first to you, looks or personality? Something else?

Do you make playlists, inspiration boards, aesthetics, whatever? Why?

Have you ever changed/dropped a character because you felt you’d put too much of yourself into them?

Do you have a Fictional Character Type™?

If you write -- how do you write? On paper, on computer? On your phone? Do you have a designated software / workspace?

Still on the writing topic -- do you have a beta reader? Why?

Now for something more domestic -- do you put music on to do chores? What genre/artist?

Do you like to cook for other people?

Is there something you’re really enjoying atm? Hobby, sport, media, it’s all good.

Anything you’re looking forward to in 2018 *knocks on wood*?

Tagging @venatohru, @bugsieplusone, @scribbleymark, @drenn, @rad-puppeteer, @pixiedurango, @tendersquishyjamie, @noseforahtwo, @heyitsharding and @solas-you-nerd -- if you guys feel like giving it a go!

#meme #thank you for tagging me!

8 notes · View notes

shovelthefries · 7 years

Note

🅰️ll 🅾️f theⓂ️

1: Namealex2: Agetwenty one pilots minus three3: 3 Fearshaving to install ubunturunning out of gaseverything on my hard drive getting corrupted, because that would mean reinstalling ubuntu 4: 3 things I lovedogs, drones, and bikes!5: 4 turns onconfidence, really good hair, a ticket to PyCon 2018, mccree6: 4 turns offwhen someone presses the power button again, all four of them7: My best friendhigh exarch turalyon8: Sexual orientationbi(cycle)9: My best first datewhat counts as a date10: How tall am Ifive even, i'm pretty useful in the home depot lumber section11: What do I missbeing in the robotics shop12: What time were I born6:12 pm, an unholy number 13: Favorite colorbloo14: Do I have a crushi think so 15: Favorite quote"everything dies, baby that's a factbut maybe everything that dies some day comes back"16: Favorite placeanywhere that i can pass out on17: Favorite foodnoodles, but also i had a really good brisket sandwich at my dad's place today it was like a healthy burger18: Do I use sarcasmno not at all19: What am I listening to right nowatlantic city by bruce springsteen the boss20: First thing I notice in new personif i can take them in a fight 21: Shoe sizesix but if you pay me, i can go up to a twelve 22: Eye colorbrown, apparently one that is abnormal for asians23: Hair colormidnight caramel24: Favorite style of clothingmessy, it's actually the new fad25: Ever done a prank call?no because i lose my shit in the first five seconds27: Meaning behind my URLits what i called the cheval de fries defense in 2016 because I'm Funny28: Favorite movieterminator 2 probably29: Favorite songthunder road but if it wasn't springsteen i'd probably say wish you were here/the final cut by pink floyd or read my mind by the killers. but listen that's like making me choose between my children30: Favorite banduGH what did I just say, pink floyd is up there i guess31: How I feel right nowtired, headachey, racing against hypothetical julia in answering this ask32: Someone I lovealleria windrunner33: My current relationship statustaken like bacon34: My relationship with my parentsits gotten better for sure35: Favorite holidayfourth of july because its warm36: Tattoos and piercing i havei'm bare and unstabbed37: Tattoos and piercing i wanti probably want a tattoo but idk what38: The reason I joined Tumblrprobably pjo fanart39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?well i certainly don't hate them40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?i get steaks, uchicago kid tells me good night after his last lame bot game of league41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?don't think i've kissed joseph42: When did I last hold hands?today, a few hours ago43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?not long if you don't count actually getting up44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?what is hair45: Where am I right now?my bed46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?either emma or art major au hanzo 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?well i like having working eardrums 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?hell yeah i do49: Am I excited for anything?really excited to go to work and have no one be there tomorrow50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?yeah 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?i'm always wearing a fake smile52: When was the last time I hugged someone?probably today53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?depends on the situation 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?probably not i'd cut it off by now55: What is something I disliked about today?the rain was being a dickhole56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?i think we already know the answer57: What do I think about most?what i should be doing58: What’s my strangest talent?i have no talents 59: Do I have any strange phobias?yeah 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?i prefer to eat the camera61: What was the last lie I told?"dark souls is a good game"62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?i hear carrier pigeons are making a comeback63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts? possible. aliens? yeah.64: Do I believe in magic?yeah i exist65: Do I believe in luck?no but my moms superstitions has made me paranoid of it66: What's the weather like right now?shitty and wet 67: What was the last book I've read?inheritance, again68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?not really69: Do I have any nicknames?alex is a particularly infamous one70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?either when i burned myself or when i found out my ubuntu installation didn't come with backlights71: Do I spend money or save it?hmmmmmm72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?i can touch my lip with my tongue 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?yeah there's my pink work shirt74: Favorite animal?tiger75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?probably vacuuming76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Adobe Experience Manager77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?born to run 78: How can you win my heart?tolerate me79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?"please rez me"80: What is my favorite word?pachyderm81: My top 5 blogs on tumblruh i dont even know the blog names anymore 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?good night i am sleepy83: Do I have any relatives in jail?probably some in china84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?flying like a stealth drone, so that i go at supersonic speeds and i'm also invisible85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?"have you been giving it your all"86: What is my current desktop picture?an alliance human and an orc duking it out87: Had sex?ye88: Bought condoms?no89: Gotten pregnant?pregnant with my dreams!!90: Failed a class?not officially91: Kissed a boy?almost92: Kissed a girl?i believe so93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?its happened i think94: Had job?many job95: Left the house without my wallet?not recently since i got my license96: Bullied someone on the internet?i don't have the time for that97: Had sex in public?nope98: Played on a sports team?robotics is a SPORT FOR THE MIND99: Smoked weed?first where would i get it100: Did drugs?nop101: Smoked cigarettes?n o p102: Drank alcohol?the ask meme got me there, yeah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?i don't think i could live104: Been overweight?no105: Been underweight?yeah 106: Been to a wedding?no 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?try ten hours108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?hm no109: Been outside my home country?yes #worldtraveler110: Gotten my heart broken?when the assassins creed revelations trailer came out and it ends with ezio's aged face being revealed i started crying111: Been to a professional sports game?that's too much112: Broken a bone?the bone that held my happiness113: Cut myself?nopee114: Been to prom?i had a date with my calculus workbook 115: Been in airplane?yes unfortunately 116: Fly by helicopter?no but it will happen117: What concerts have I been to?none concerts 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?hm idk119: Learned another language?yeah technically 120: Wore make up?i prefer my ugly vanilla look thank you very much121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?i guess yeah 122: Had oral sex?never performed it 123: Dyed my hair?like a phoenix, and then a passionate robotics member124: Voted in a presidential election?i was basically a baby in the eyes of the law before i could125: Rode in an ambulance?noooo126: Had a surgery?once as a baby, now as a mature adult who needed their wisdom teeth taken out127: Met someone famous?hell ye128: Stalked someone on a social network?nichols before i became friends with him129: Peed outside?very likely130: Been fishing?yeah it was fun131: Helped with charity?yeeee132: Been rejected by a crush?this implies that i take initiative133: Broken a mirror?twice due to somersaults134: What do I want for birthday?a cd with all my spotify music burned onto it

1 note · View note

plufim · 7 years

Text

E3 2017 predictions

E3 predictions

In general these come from my thoughts, but also include ideas I’ve heard floated around the web which I completely agree with. Avoiding the already announced/leaked stuff, since that’s not fun!

I’ve sort predictions for all main presentations into 3 different categories based on likelihood (“Lock it in, Reggie” (very confident), “50/50” and “swinging for the fences” (super unlikely but I gotta go all in)). Also, because I’m Connell, this skews Nintendo, but I do have thoughts on everyone! And almost entirely positive ones!

These are in order of the presentation times, hence Nintendo being last. Oh, and a shadow drop is an unannounced game or feature being available for download immediately.

General Predictions/Trends:

- One final push for remastered collections.

- The PC gaming show will be a shit-show again.

- After “Seven Nation Army” did so well for the Battlefield 1 trailer, at LEAST 3 other trailers will use a contemporary song for a game set in another time.

EA:

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Need for Speed will have a Cops vs Racers mode. Because it is always the best thing. Shutting down fools for daring to turn MY roads into a race track is always the best.

- FIFA presentation will not mention the Switch version at all. Info will only be turned up at the show floor, with 2-3 units available. There will be a very simple token minigame so they can justify it as being “built for switch”, but it is 99% the PS3/360 version.

50/50:

- Mass Effect 1-3 Remastered collection, for PS4 and Xbox one. Designed to win back trust from gamers who were burned hard by Andromeda, which really damaged the brand. This leads to my further prediction (not for this though) that ME5 then connects both stories together, where the Andromeda crew find a device that allows them to send a message with information back in time to Shephards brain and bam, you’re playing with the character’s people liked again.

- Sim City. It’s been long enough since the last Sim City, which was disastrous. Time for EA to show they learned from their mistakes and can take on city: skylines

Singing for the fences:

- Mass Effect Trilogy also for the Switch. Despite the only support being a terrible FIFA game thus far, the actual sales of the system will be seen as an opportunity… to sell old games again with very little extra work. Perhaps some token amiibo functionality in the character creator.

Microsoft:

Obviously, this will be all about Scorpio. Every game will make a point to include something about how the Scorpio version is enhanced. Also apologies, don’t really have much

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Forza 5.

- Scorpio will have VR featured heavily

50/50:

- Scorpio’s final name will be: Xbox Scorpio. Microsoft is done with numbers.

50/50:

- It will be revealed that Scorpio, unlike PS4Pro, will have games exclusive to it.

Swinging for the fences:

- Crackdown demo shadow drop

- Exclusive John Wick videogame for scorpio

- BATTLETOADS

Bethesda:

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Wolfenstein Titan(?) official reveal.

- Prey DLC chapters.

50/50:

- Switch Skyrim has Zelda content in it. Because why else would someone pay $60 US for this game for a third time?

- Elder Scrolls VI revealed. Will feature at least 2 of the regions. Possibly Elsweyr and Valenwood

Swinging for the fences:

- Elder Scrolls finally bring back the Dwemer, either by reviving them or setting it in the distant past.

Ubisoft:

So… most of this conference is already leaked, but still…. Uh… hm. Well here’s a few somethings.

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Rabbids/Mario will have a CG teaser. Gameplay saved for Nintendo.

50/50:

- On stage reveal for Farcry will include not only making fun of the people who got so angry that the villians are a white Christian cult, but there will be an embarrassing on-stage play where people pretend to be storming the stage to protest the treatment of horrible people.

Swinging for the fences:

- A switch exclusive Assassin’s Creed side-story, much like they did for Vita around Assassin’s Creed 3.

- Rabbids/Mario features a cover of “All Star”, covered by Rabbids themselves, because this game will be drowning in memes. And I will hate this while secretly loving this.

Sony:

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Sony saves IO interactive, Hitman 2 will be PS4 exclusive. Microsoft SHOULD do this, but… this feels more like a Sony move.

- MASSIVE Spiderman blowout, including a lot of show floor stuff. Playable demo. No tie in to the movie, but instead a new story with Goblin and the sinister 6 as the villians. And there’ll be some shitty day 1 pre-order crap, probably involving a Black Cat side story. F4 will cameo, but play no major roles – however Insomniac will be building a shared games universe. Yes, even with the Squaresoft stuff.

- Bloodborne 2. It will happen.

50/50:

- A real, honest to god Kingdom Hearts 3 trailer, with worlds revealed, including Moana and Frozen.

- Shenmue 1+2 Remastered announced. With Shenmue 3 delayed (and that having been inevitable for some time), this would be a smart move to capitalise on the clear demand for more Ryo.

- Another Last of Us Part 2 teaser, but no gameplay yet.

- English Dragon Quest XI release date, mid 2018.

- Red Dead 2 trailer, first with actual gameplay. I also think this will reveal that Zelda-like free climbing is being implemented.

Swinging for the fences:

- The vita returns as a phone. The switch has shown portable games are still viable, vita has some life in Asian territories, and Sony want to keep the remote play train going. Destined to still fail? Probably! But let’s not let reality kill HYPE.

- Last of Us Part 2 prelude chapter available now, for free. One hour of set up, basically a demo. But that’s what they do to get the kids excited.

- Spyro Trilogy remastered. Activision gotta do something with the guy.

- Red Dead 2 trailer showcases a train heist. I LOVE train heists.

Nintendo:

In general, there won’t be much or any 3DS. They’re getting a lot of that out of the way this week already.

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Xenoblade 2 is not delayed, December 2018. Playable on show floor.

- Mario Odyssey for October 2017. Massive show floor presence.

- Mario Kart DLC, same format as for WiiU – 2 packs of tracks, but this time it’s 8 racing and 2 battle tracks, as well as 3 characters and karts each. A shadow drop of the ability to buy the

- Zelda DLC part 1 shadow drop. Teaser for the rest of the DLC.

- Picross Switch, available now. Not Picross 3D though, they’ll hold off on that.

- Rabbids/Mario gameplay demo

- Dragon Quest XI for Switch officially announced

- Everyone on stage will wear goofy hats because of Mario Odyssey, because hats is a big thing in that game. Hats will grant abilities.

- Splatoon 2 test fire round 2 will be announced to begin the next weekend, with significant tweaks.

- New ARMs content announced, with new ARMs avaialable immediately and

50/50:

- Massive update to switch UI, shadow dropped. Includes multiple UI styles, with Badge arcade built in for further customisation, folders, linking to old Nintendo friends lists, musical themes. Further themes will be on eshop going forward, like 3DS. And finally, this also includes the new online system, hence the new details revealed about it last week.

- Animal Crossing Switch. Early 2018, with much improved social features. Massive amiibo functionality, much like New Leaf now has. It’ll have a new hook, not sure what though. My guess is some Sim City style mayoral stuff like setting up and supplying utilities.

- Warioware Switch, holiday 2017. It’s been a while for the Rhythm Heaven/Warioware team. I NEED THIS ONE NINTENDO.

- Smash Brothers 4 Switch, Q2 2018, rereleased with the best levels from the WiiU and 3DS levels, plus an expanded single player mode. It’s just too crowded for this game yet, but they don’t need to hold off for too long, because it’ll be an evergreen. There will be a teaser though, starring Inklings, Ice Climbers and Spring Man.

- Mario Maker Switch for Q1 2018. It can’t release this year, it needs space away from Mario Odyssey. The game will include a new “switch” block which when hit in game alternates the game style. There will also be playable Mario, Luigi, Peach and Toad for each game type, each with different styles, and a different switch block or pipe that changes your character mid-level.

- Skyward Sword HD for switch, with optional non-motion controls for boring people. Q2 2018.

- Partnership with Activision to make an Amiibo action game. You might think this is a swing for the fence, but: Toys for Bob is out of a gig right now. And this would sell better than any recent Skylanders game. Activision would release special versions of select characters, so they can get their cut from the toy sales.

- Donkey Kong Country Returns 3, Q1 2018, by Monster Games. They’ve been quiet for a while, they ported Returns to 3DS, they assisted Retro on Tropical Freeze, this is what they’ve been working towards.

- Dead Cells announced for Switch.

- Layton Collection announced… for phone. Lady Layton western release date.

- Retro’s game. And it’s NOT Metroid, but a sci-fi Western RPG.

- This is a long shot, but T2 is relatively impressed by the switch, so: GTA5 for Switch. With a chunk of the DLC included.

- Switch Sports, holiday 2017. The return of the king. All the games as released for WiiU, plus a few from Wii Sports resort (airplane), with additional modes for each sport. I do have a “swinging for the fence” on this though…

Swinging for the fences:

- …Wuhu World. Remember Pilotwings 64? Where Little USA was a huge island with different activities, sights to see, and so on? Well, take Wuhu Island, scoot up the detail and resolution, include the small surrounding golf islands, and add a few other themed islands the same size as Wuhu (snow island, city island, etc). It’s a free game where you get the islands and one activity per island, and can walk/drive around each island. Dotted around each is various locations that count as home bases for various sports/vehicles from Wii Sports, Pilotwings and some new items. Each of these is paid, and comes with various different modes and missions. This could be further expanded over time, and allows Nintendo to make money from series that could no longer be sold alone.

- Mario Kart DLC includes mission mode, which is available day 1 with missions on existing courses and expands with the DLC.

- New 2D Metroid by a small team from within Retro. There is a 3D game teased to be in the works also, but not from Retro.

- Splatoon 2 Octoling content and Amiibo, including Octoling mascots. I need this, Nintendo.

- EXCITE. TRUCK. 2.

- Nintendo Pinball. Remember Pokemon Pinball? And Metroid Prime Pinball? That but across multiple Nintendo series.

- Sonic and Mario All Stars Racing Transformed. Sumo has to have been making something aside from Snake Pass, and Sonic Racing 2 sold extremely well on the switch.

- Assault Android Cactus Deluxe for Switch. I believe in you Tim! Even if you aren’t even attempting this!

#oh my god can i sleep now

1 note · View note