#i would say there are more systemic structures in place to hurt womeb

[penny4yathoughts]

Resending it here :)

Inspired (prompted?) by the ask from your other blog about heterophobia and your answer. How do you think, is the situation with misogyny and misandry same?

The heterophobia post can be found here.

Just some quick definitions:

Misogyny: prejudice against women

Misandry: prejudice against men.

Now. This is strictly gonna be focused on personal knowledge and will be USA centered. I can't really speak for other countries.

But it feels like misogyny is more systemic, cultural, and social. Meanwhile misandry is more social and semi cultural.

I doubt anyone is gonna deny that historically there has been lots of systemic shit against women, their rights, and their autonomy. While there has been lots of steps forward in that regard there are still systematic structures in place that work against women. This kinda stuff is things like abortion, birth control, childcare custody, citizen ship for immigrants, paternity leave, etc.

On top of that we're still working on the cultural aspects of misogyny. Ie. Gender roles and ingrained assumptions. These tie into the more social things such as not getting a job because they think you're going to quit to have a family or you're too "hormonal," being accused of being on your period cuz you're upset, being considered weak, being forced to grow up sooner than male peers (this one has more stuff that factors into it tho), being more emotionally available, being forced to dress a certain way not for your classmates sake but because your male teachers might be distracted by you... A literal child. Not to mention the sexual assault numbers that are just down right disgusting. Plus the gross double edged blade where being a virgin is bad and not being a virgin is bad.

As for misandry, there are some laws in place that are pretty shitty. For example, longer prison sentences. We do as a society tend to physically punish men more harshly I feel like. But overall, most misandry cases are social or cultural. That's where toxic masculinity comes into play. It's completely true when people talk about growing up constantly being told not to cry and to man up causes them to hold in emotions making it hard to regulate them as adults. And women get the opposite side of things where they're told to use all their emotions for others well being-- be nurturing even at the cost of your own mental health. There's more examples too (such as not being taken seriously for sexual assault or demestic abuse), but they're easy enough to research. This post is going to be long enough as is.

^^^^ all of that said. These are cultural trends and ideas. Not everyone buys into them and a lot of people understand that they just don't make any sense in the first place. But that doesn't stop them from affecting people and even if you are aware of these things, you often still buy into them at least a little. This is because you were raised in a society with these ideas and you have to work against society to avoid them, which isn't always possible.

The biggest problem I find when trying to talk about all these issues with people is people not really willing to listen to either side. It's either "the world sucks for men" or the "world sucks for women." And if you try to talk about men people assume you hate women. If you talk about women people assume you hate men. And then you get a lotta hypocrisy.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen a man say "not all men" up until it's their daughter hitting puberty than it's "all men just want in your pants." Like if you want your kid to have a healthy view of men maybe instead of telling her to avoid any man cuz he's evil, teach her the red flags to look out for. Same for your son. Shitty people are everywhere. We should be teaching kids how to spot those red flags in anyone.

People just want an enemy. A group to fight against. Rather than actually looking at the truth. Shitty people are in every group. And odds are you're related to one of them. Stopping sexism against any gender isn't gonna be solved by telling someone all men are evil or all women are bitches. But people just don't seem to want to accept that the world isnt black and white. Especially since the two operate in different ways and need to be addressed differently with different audiences in mind.

You aren't going to solve domestic abuse against men and raise awareness of it the same way you're going to promote issues relating to women's autonomy. Honestly, you wouldn't even approach men's domestic abuse the same way as women's domestic abuse. Since people view the two so differently they'll need to be approached differently. The solutions aren't black and white either (tho they are tied to each other. Get women more autonomy and don't make them have to give so much emotional labor and it'll be easier for men to be independent emotionally. But you still gotta figure out the best way to do that).

Problems and solutions can't be condensed down into a perfect Twitter post that'll give you a buncha "woke" points. They need actual research and thought put into them by people who are willing to cooperate, work together, and actually look at all the angles since sexism has a lot of intersectionality tied to it (class, race, age, etc.). These things can't be treated like easy to digest sentences of who is right and who is wrong. And a big problem so the lack of people with different backgrounds and experiences running not just the government but also activists groups. On top of people online just trying to pin everyone against everyone.

Hope all of that makes sense. Let me know if you have any other questions. This post is already really long. But I'd be willing to talk in more detail.