#i wrote 70% of this AAAAAAGES ago

[authorbarbie]

10 Ways to Say ‘I Love You’

Summary: There’s more than one way to say ‘I love you’. You just have to be paying attention. (TW: Blood)

One

After two long weeks, the mission was complete.

Although it had consisted of countless sleepless nights and the occasional bout of bickering due to tiredness and overall frustration, you felt relief that it was finally over. The final fight had ended considerably well, with both you and Steve only receiving a few scratches and bruises by the end.

Despite your success, however, you were exhausted. Over the last few days, you estimated that you had probably slept for around 8 hours at most, and it was starting to take its toll.

Sighing, you kept one hand on the wheel and used the other to rub your bleary eyes while the tiredness practically seeped into your veins. The clock on the car dashboard told you it was currently 1:32AM and the radio that was down low was playing a song that you felt would lull you to sleep at any moment.

When you had initially arrived in Moscow for the mission, both you and Steve had made the decision to hide the quinjet - somewhere nobody would be able to find it - until you were ready to use it again. Unfortunately, Steve had chosen a spot that was so well hidden that it required a 3-hour drive from where you had been living during your stay in the capital city. You were currently on hour two and cursing past-Steve for his choices.

Speaking of Steve, he was currently sitting - more like slouching - in the passenger seat next to you with dark circles under his eyes. The man had stubbornly refused to sleep until you did, insisting that the serum meant he didn’t get tired as quickly as others. While you supposed that might have been true, you knew he would still need to rest soon.

You were broken out of your thoughts then when the car suddenly fell silent as Steve switched off the radio. Your eyes fell to him with a questioning look before you quickly looked back to the empty road ahead.  

“Pull over. Let me drive for a while,” he said.

“I’m fine -”

“You’re exhausted,” Steve smiled tiredly at your stubbornness. “We still have at least two hours until we reach the quinjet. Let me get us there.”

A moment passed as you thought about his offer and with a sigh, you found yourself stopping at the side of the road and hauling yourself out of the car to switch seats with Steve, who proudly took his new place in the driver’s seat and started the car once more.

Curling up in the passenger seat, you quietly thanked Steve before closing your eyes and letting your head rest against the window, the gentle humming of the car as Steve drove proving to be a good lullaby.

Two

Your heels clicked as the group made their way back to the tower. None of you had planned on walking home but once Tony had gotten you all kicked out of the cab with his obnoxious drunk singing, the team decided to finish the journey on foot.

The cold bit through your thin shirt and you thanked whatever deities were out there that you had thought to wear jeans that night instead of a skirt. Nevertheless, you were still freezing and swore you were beginning to lose sensation in the tips of your fingers.

“I told you to bring a jacket,” Clint said smugly when he saw your attempts to warm yourself up.

“Shut up, Barton,” you frowned, flicking his ear as he walked by and smiling at the pained noise that left his lips.

“Nat, she hurt me!” Clint whined to the redhead who only rolled her eyes in amusement.

“You kinda deserved it,” Bucky chimed in from his spot on your left. Bucky, who had thought ahead and was currently wrapped up in a nice, warm coat. Stupid, smart Bucky.

Just as you found yourself beginning to glare unnecessarily at all of your friends for being all warm and toasty, you felt something knock into your right arm. Frowning, you turned to see Steve who had just finished shedding his jacket and was holding it out to you with an expectant look.

“Take my jacket,” he explained. “You’re cold.”

Almost immediately, you began to shake your head and refute his claims, but it seemed Steve had anticipated this. Ignoring your refusal, he simply reached around and placed his jacket snugly over your shoulders. Instantly, you felt your body begin to warm up and you couldn’t help but let out a relieved sigh which caused both Steve and Bucky (who had been watching the exchange) to chuckle.

“A true gentleman,” Bucky teased, causing your cheeks to redden as you continued to walk.

You patiently waited until Steve had looked away to give Bucky a small pinch on the arm for his joke.

Three

Pain. That was the first thing that registered with you when your eyes fluttered open. The next thing was that your arms and legs were both bound to a table with tight, leather straps and no matter how hard you struggled, they wouldn’t budge. The third was that there was a red symbol painted onto the wall opposite you.

The large skull with protruding tentacles was practically taunting you as you lay there, helpless. Of course it’s Hydra, you thought. Evil bastards.

Just as you had laid your head back on the table and tried to calm your racing heart, the door opened up and approaching footsteps were heard. Quickly, you closed your eyes in an attempt to feign sleep, but your attempts were in vain.

“I know you’re awake,” said a familiar voice.

You frowned. What was she doing here?

“Open your eyes,” she ordered, running her fingers over a selection of weapons that lay on a small table behind your head and choosing her favourite. “You don’t wanna miss the show.”

You did as you were told, albeit unwillingly. A curtain of red hair had fallen around the woman’s face and for a moment, you thought you had made a mistake… but then those sharp eyes turned to stare down at you and you found yourself whimpering involuntarily. The soft green gaze that used to look at you with such fondness was gone and instead, something much darker and much more evil lay beneath.

“Nat,” you whined as she moved closer. “What are you doing?”

“My job. You understand, don’t you?” she replied simply, taking her chosen knife and letting the point lightly graze your thigh as she toyed with her prey. “Hail Hydra.” Without warning, the knife was plunged into your flesh.  

You woke with a start, sweat pouring down your skin as you frantically tried to catch your breath while tears formed in your eyes. Your heart was pounding against your rib cage while you ripped the blankets off of your body and searched, panic-stricken, for the wound that was sure to be covering your bed with blood… yet you found nothing.

Fumbling in the darkness, you switched on the lamp that sat on the cabinet next to your bed and blinked rapidly as your eyes adjusted to the light. Your eyes fell to your thigh once again but instead of a fresh wound, all you saw was a thick white scar you had gained a month previously. You really had been captured by Hydra but, of course, it wasn’t Natasha who had been inflicting the pain upon you. Despite this, ever since you had been freed by the team, you had been having nightmares about the events; the torturer in your night terrors being replaced each time with a different friendly face - Natasha wielding a knife, Wanda using her powers to dig deep into your brain, Bucky’s metal arm wrapped tight around your throat as he squeezed and squeezed…

You jumped as a knock sounded at the door to your room and you found yourself not wanting to answer. Taking a deep breath and cursing yourself for being so silly - you know that you were safe in the tower - you slowly crawled out of bed and padded over to the door.

“Steve?” You whispered in confusion as you opened the door wider to let the man in.

“Are you okay?” He immediately asked in concern, blue eyes scanning your face for any sign of distress.

You frowned. Had you been screaming? Did the whole tower hear?

“I… I had a nightmare. But I’m fine, don’t worry.”

At Steve’s disbelieving look, you scoffed weakly and lead the way back into your bedroom with slightly shaky legs. “Okay, maybe I’m not fine but… I’m coping. That’s good enough, right?” Taking a seat back on your bed, you watched as Steve wandered over and began to fix the blankets that had been thrown around haphazardly in your panic. Your heart swelled at the simple gesture before you caught another glance at the scar on your thigh, causing you to tug your shorts down further in an attempt to cover it up.

Catching a glimpse of your actions, Steve sighed as realisation hit. He took a seat on the other side of the bed next to you. “Was it the same one?”

You nodded, not entirely trusting yourself to speak.

“Who was it this time?” He asked gently.

“Nat,” you whispered as flashes of her cold, unforgiving eyes came back into your head. “Did I wake everyone up?”

“No. Actually, I didn’t hear anything,” Steve broke eye contact at your confused look, reaching up to rub the back of his neck nervously. “After the incident a few nights ago, I, uh… may have asked FRIDAY to let me know if you had any other nightmares.”

A few nights before, you had woken up from a similar night terror; only that time, it had been Clint who had been inflicting the pain. That nightmare had been particularly gruesome and had resulted in you leaving your room at 1AM and making your way down to the gym in an attempt to make yourself feel strong again. To regain some control.

You were discovered by Steve a few hours later, who had only been woken up by a noise from the downstairs area and had found you on the floor, in tears. The man had somehow managed to calm you down and bring you back upstairs to your bed where he waited until you fell asleep before leaving.

“Thank you, Steve,” you said simply, blinking back tears as you let your head rest on his shoulder. Steve’s hand found yours as if on instinct, and with his comforting presence, you felt yourself begin to relax again.  

“You should try and get some more sleep,” Steve suggested.

You shook your head. “I don’t think I can.”

“It’s okay. I’m here,” Steve reminded you. He understood your fears as well as anybody could, after all, he had nightmares, too. Hell, everybody in the tower did.

And if they could get through it, so could you.

Four

Steve was light and spry on his feet as he went through the motions of his daily workout, his heart racing, the endorphins being released making him feel exhilarated in the most satisfying way. His fist had just met the punching bag again when he heard a rowdy spell of laughter from the living room. Although he was curious, he tuned out the noise and continued on with his movements.

Then there was another outburst of laughter - this time louder than the last. Tilting his head to the right and listening closely, Steve easily picked out who the laughter belonged to - you, Wanda, and Natasha… and nothing good ever came out of that particular trio. He thought Natasha was bad but when he added you and Wanda to the mix, all three of you became instantly more spirited and mischievous.  

Steve, whose curiosity was getting the better of him, made the decision then that he wouldn’t be able to get any more exercise done. Sighing, he began to unravel the boxing tape from around his hands when he heard you squeal Natasha’s name in shock.

“What the hell?” He muttered in bemusement.

Grabbing a towel and doing his best to wipe the sweat from his face, he made his way from the gym to the living room where three Avengers sat, two with amusement in their eyes and you with a blush covering your cheeks. Wanda was the first to notice his presence.

“Hi, Steve,” the girl grinned playfully.

“Wanda,” he acknowledged with a slightly apprehensive nod. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you were quick to answer.

“Just girl talk, Cap,” Natasha said, her gaze on the tablet in her hand that she continued to scroll through. “Nothing to worry about.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “I could hear you guys laughing all the way from the gym. Must have been some pretty funny girl talk.”

“Did we interrupt your workout?” You asked with a small frown as you finally turned to look at the man, your eyes widening just a fraction at the sweat on his skin. How could someone look that good while sweating?

Natasha and Wanda stifled their laughs.

“Don’t worry about it. I was almost finished anyway,” he said honestly. “And I like your laugh.”

“Aw, thanks, Steve,” Natasha joked, knowing full well his compliment wasn’t directed at her. “But you’re not my type.”

Both you and Steve rolled your eyes then, the latter coming to find a seat next to your little group.

“C’mon,” he said, “I’m intrigued.”

“The only thing you are is getting sweat all over the couch,” Natasha retorted.

“We’re looking at art,” Wanda said in an attempt to help ease the man’s confusion.

Steve nodded slowly, still not seeing how art could be so hilarious. “Okay… What kind of art?”

“Art made by fans… People who like us; the Avengers,” you shrugged, still slightly embarrassed by the last image you had been shown.

“Wow,” Steve said. “People make art of us?”

“Art, stories, a little of everything,” Wanda answered. “Some people are very talented.”

“We were just reading an interesting story about the two of you when you happened to show up,” Natasha smiled, gesturing between both you and Steve.

“Can I see it?” Steve asked.

“You really don’t want to -” Your protests were cut off by Natasha happily placing the tablet into the Captain’s hands. “Nat, don’t!”

Wanda reached out to grab your arms to stop you from ripping the tablet out of Steve’s hands and throwing it against the wall, which meant that all you could do was watch in embarrassment and horror as Steve’s blush deepened with the more he read of the piece of fiction.

Once he was finished, he quickly excused himself, stating that he needed to shower after his workout.

“I think he liked it,” Wanda laughed, prompting Natasha to laugh along even louder than before.

“I hate both of you.”

Five

“You know I could have paid for my own coffee, right?” You asked, shooting Steve a thankful smile as he returned to your table with two coffees in hand.

“That wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me though, would it?”  

“I suppose not,” you replied, rolling your eyes good-naturedly while you ran your fingertip along the rim of your coffee cup. “It’s been weird having so much downtime recently, huh?”

Steve nodded in response as he sipped his own coffee. “It actually makes me a little uneasy at times. Like I’m just waiting for something to go wrong.”

“Yeah, me too,” you frowned. “I guess it’s because we’re not used to -”

You paused mid-sentence as a scream that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up was heard in the distance. “Did you hear that?”

“I heard it,” Steve replied, his eyes staring out the window of the café.

Both of your phones chimed then with identical messages from Tony stating that there was trouble at the tower and you were both needed ASAP. With one quick glance at each other, you had both forgotten about your coffees and were running out of the building and back towards the tower. Sometime during the run, Steve had grabbed your hand in order to help you keep up with his pace and with his assistance, you managed to arrive at the tower within a few minutes.

From your point on the ground, you could see a window on one of the top floors of the tower had been smashed and smoke was billowing out of it. A small part of your brain also registered Sam and Clint who were trying to evacuate the building and clear the streets.

“I’m gonna help the guys down here,” you decided quickly.

“I’ll grab my shield and see what the hell is going on up there,” Steve agreed, beginning to make his way to the tower’s entrance. He hesitated briefly before entering, turning to face you with a seriousness in his eyes. “Be careful.”

“You too, Captain.”  

Six 

“Does this look okay?” You muttered to yourself, turning your body to view yourself from various angles in the mirror. You smoothed the edges of your lilac laced dress down and squinted at your reflection in an attempt to find any imperfections.

“I’m sure you look wonderful, Agent,” said a disembodied voice, causing you to jump in fright.

“Damn it, FRIDAY,” you sighed, placing a hand over your racing heart. “I always forget you’re here… But thank you.”

Deciding to leave your bag in your room as you would only be a few floors down anyway, you gave yourself one last look in the mirror before making your way to the elevator; there was no way you were taking the stairs in heels, after all.

Before the elevator had even stopped at the correct floor, you could already hear the hustle and bustle of a good old-fashioned Tony Stark shindig and fondly rolled your eyes. It’s not that you hated Tony’s parties. In your opinion, they were just too loud. Too busy. The only reason you decided to make an appearance was that Tony was your friend… and because he threatened to lock you out of your room if you didn’t. That was a pretty good motivator.

You held your head high as you exited the elevator into the usual hustle and bustle of a Stark party, reminding yourself that you only had to stick it for an hour or two before you could sneakily retreat back to the comfort of your own room.

You passed by a lot of familiar faces as you walked around. Sam gave you a smile, raising his glass in greeting. Sharon told you she loved your hair. Tony thanked you for showing up and promised that your room was safe (for now). As much as you loved your friends, you soon decided that you needed a drink if you were to get through - you quickly glanced at your phone - another hour of drunken agents and Tony’s proud boasting. Settling down at the bar, you breathed a sigh of relief at the chance to rest your feet.

Natasha, who had decided to take a shift behind the bar, soon came over and began to wipe down the counter with a rag, cleaning up any spillages from previous customers.

“What can I get you?” she asked with a smirk.

“You look like the biggest bartender cliche right now,” you observed.

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” the redhead shrugged casually. “Surprise?”

You nodded and a minute later, a perfectly made, albeit nameless, drink was sitting in front of you.

“I think this might be your best creation yet,” you told her after taking a huge gulp. “You have a gift, my friend.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s my best creation,” said Natasha. “I think that’s you.”

You raised a curious eyebrow. “And how exactly am I your creation?”

“I convinced you to wear that dress tonight, didn’t I? And let’s face it, you look hot. I have great taste.”

Self-consciously, you found yourself tugging the end of your dress down a little at Natasha’s words which caused her to roll her eyes.

“I’m serious,” she reached over the bar to give your arm a shove. “And I bet Cap here would agree with me.”

With furrowed brows, you followed her eyeline and glanced over your shoulder, right as Steve approached with an amused smile.

“What am I agreeing on?” He asked, leaning against the bar so he could easily see both of you. Natasha was quick to slide him a bottle of beer before he even had the chance to order. Nodding thankfully, he took a sip.

“Her dress is hot,” Natasha said simply with a nod towards you. “Yes or no?”

“Nat,” you groaned in embarrassment.

Steve swallowed his drink slowly, being extra careful not to choke like he almost had. He knew Natasha was blunt but she had admittedly taken him off guard. That’s what he gets for assuming they could just have a casual conversation, he supposed.

“Uh -”

“You don’t have to answer that,” you told him quickly. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Natasha smugly wander off to serve someone else.

“No, I want to!” Steve cringed at how eager he sounded. “I mean, I was already going to tell you - before Natasha… was Natasha, I guess…”

Steve sighed and you watched in bemusement as he struggled with his words.

“You look beautiful,” he settled on eventually. “I wanted to tell you when you first got here but I couldn’t seem to get away from a drunk Rhodey.”

A small smile spread across your lips then and you playfully replied. “You look pretty beautiful, too.”

This time, Steve did choke on his beer.

Seven

“Hurry up or we’re starting without you!”

“I said I’m coming!”

Who knew Avengers could be so impatient? 

A frustrated sigh left your lips as you tugged a loose hoodie over your tired frame. Your fingers got tangled in your knotted hair in your attempt to tame your bedhead and you groaned, quickly grabbing your brush instead. Maybe taking a nap before your scheduled movie night with the team wasn’t the best idea but it’s not like you intended to oversleep.

“Your popcorn is getting cold and eaten!” 

With a huff, you all but stormed out of your room, muttering under your breath about how you were going to kill Sam Wilson. You could probably get Bucky to help if you asked him nicely enough. 

When you reached the living room, the opening credits were already rolling - you had missed the chance to vote on which movie you would be watching - and you squinted into the darkness of the room to find a free spot to sit.

“Get enough beauty sleep, princess?” Sam asked sarcastically.

“Seems like you could use some,” Bucky retorted on your behalf. 

A chorus of “oooh”s came from the team, to which Sam told them to shut up and eat their food. It was then that you noticed the bowl of popcorn in his hands. He really had taken yours. 

Stupid bird, you thought bitterly.

As everyone settled down again to watch the movie, a quiet voice came from your left.

“Hey,” said Steve with a gentle touch to your arm to alert you to his presence. “I saved you a seat.”

Sure enough, a free spot sat next to the super soldier while Peter sat on his other side. It wasn’t a big space but the kind gesture was enough to warm your heart. You noted that Steve tended to have that effect on you.

About 10 minutes into the movie, you had no idea what was happening because you were far too distracted by the warm presence sitting next to you while you were also shooting glares at Sam who happily munched away at what should have been your food. Your thoughts were broken when you felt a small movement and turned to see Steve offering you his own bowl of popcorn to share with him.

You decided then that Sam could keep your food.

Eight

There were dark circles under your eyes, your back ached from sitting for so long and you were pretty sure you were going to get carpal tunnel from all the writing you’d been doing but still, you persevered. A glance at the clock told you that it was close to midnight and you groaned, resigning yourself to another long, sleepless night.

The glamorous life of an Avenger.

You stood up, taking a quick break to refill your mug before placing yourself back in front of your laptop, ignoring how your eyes attempted to droop closed every few seconds. You were so focused on your task that you barely registered the footsteps behind you. 

Steve had quietly padded out of his room to get a glass of water, cautious of making too much noise as most of the tower was asleep by now. Glass of water in hand, he turned to retreat back to bed when he noticed you - tired eyes, bushy hair - in the same spot he had left you a few hours ago. A frown immediately crossed the soldier’s face and he found his feet carrying him over to you before he could even really think about it. 

A gentle hand was placed on your shoulder and you jumped a little at the sudden touch. Steve immediately held his hands up. 

“Sorry,” he said gently. “I was trying not to startle you.”

“Epic fail,” you muttered causing Steve to chuckle quietly.

“What are you still doing up?” 

“Working,” you said with a gesture to your screen which currently held 8 pages of a report for Fury. Just 4 more to go…

“You’ve been working on that since you came back this morning,” Steve observed. “You need to get some rest.”

“I can’t,” you argued. “This report is due in one day. It’s important.”

“You’re important, too,” he stated. “You can finish it tomorrow.”

You wanted to protest but when Steve reached over and shut your laptop (he saved the document first, of course), you felt a small sense of relief. Your shoulders slumped and you let out a quiet ‘thank you’.

Steve shook his head at how stubborn you had been - although a small smile remained - and offered you his arm to help pull you up from your chair. When you reached out to take your laptop, however, you were stopped by his hand on top of yours.

“Nope,” Steve said, tucking the laptop safely under his arm. “I’ll take this. You can have it back tomorrow when you’ve woken up after at least 8 hours sleep.”

“Sure thing, mother,” you replied, sluggishly allowing Steve to guide you to your room.

“It’s nice to see you still have enough energy left to sass me.”

“I’ll always have the energy for that, Rogers.”

Nine

To say your night had been a disaster would be an understatement. Why, oh why had you thought that going out with old school friends (acquaintances, really) would be a good idea? You hadn’t ever been that close to them but when they came into town, they had reached out so you figured ‘sure, why the hell not?’.

Now you knew why you should’ve said no. 

You were currently stranded on the sidewalk outside of an obnoxiously loud club by yourself, your head thumped with the beginnings of a headache and you just knew that your feet would be hurting tomorrow. To add insult to injury, you were on the other side of town from the tower and didn’t have enough money left to get a taxi.

Pulling your phone out of your bag, you opened your contacts and called the first person that came to mind.

“Shouldn’t you be doing shots right about now?”

“Hello to you too, Captain,” you joked. 

“Hi,” Steve replied and you swore you could hear the smile in his voice. “Is everything okay?”

“I guess so,” you shrugged despite the fact that he couldn’t see you. “I’m just about to leave.”

“Really? It’s still pretty early,” he replied. “Are you getting a cab?”

“I don’t have enough money,” you told him. “I’m just gonna walk.”

“What?”

You winced as his loud tone pierced through your skull and repeated yourself. “I’m going to walk.”

“You’re going to walk from the other side of town, tipsy, while it’s getting dark out?”

“Yes? I’ll be fine, I can handle myself.” 

“I know you can, I’ve seen it, but I don’t like the idea,” There was a rustling sound on the other end of the phone as Steve moved around. “Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

“Steve, you really don’t have to -”

“I’ll be there soon, okay? Don’t move.”

True to his word, Steve pulled up around 15 minutes later and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t relieved at the sight of him. When he unlocked the doors, you happily climbed into the car where Steve’s eyes did a subtle check on your appearance for any injuries before he started the journey back home.

“Are you gonna tell me what happened? he asked, his eyes never straying from the road ahead.

“They didn’t invite me out because they cared about me,” you explained. “They only cared about the Avengers.”

“How so?” Steve frowned.

“When I tried to talk about myself - outside of work, I mean - they kept redirecting their questions to the Avengers; how big the tower is, how much money we get paid… All that kind of bull,” you rolled your eyes as you rested your head against the window. “After being asked if Thor is single for the third time, I finally decided to leave.”

There was a pause in the conversation as Steve thought over what you had said.

“Well, the joke’s on them,” he finally decided.

“How so?”

“They were already hanging out with the best Avenger and they blew it.”

Ten

You had always told Steve that you would take a bullet for him but he wasn’t prepared when the day finally came. One minute, Steve was telling the team that the two of you had successfully downloaded the files and were on your way to the rendezvous point and the next, Steve was being pushed to the ground and you had a bullet wound in your shoulder.

Acting on instinct, Steve immediately took out the assailant he foolishly hadn’t seen coming and called out for emergency evac. He dropped to his knees and started to apply pressure over your wound, doing his best to ignore the whimpers that left your lips when he pressed a little too hard.

“It’s okay,” he told you. “You’re okay.”

“Hurts,” you managed to mutter through gritted teeth. 

“I know,” Steve shushed you quietly. “But I’ve got you.”

Behind you, the quinjet touched down and Bucky rushed out to help.

“We need to get her to medical now!” Steve exclaimed. He didn’t have time to waste.

With hurried but careful movements, the pair carried you onto the jet and gently placed you on the floor where Steve placed his hands back over your wound. Natasha didn’t say a word and began to fly back to the base as quickly as she could.

“What do we do?” asked Bucky who felt like he was in a daze.

“Radio ahead,” said Steve. “Tell them we need doctors there the minute we touch the ground.”

While Bucky moved to the cockpit to contact the base, Steve continued to whisper gentle affirmations to you, telling you that you were doing great and that you would be okay soon; that he was getting help. He hoped that if he said it enough, he would be right. The sight of your blood on his hands almost made him sick to his stomach as you struggled to take deep breaths in order to slow down your heart rate. With blood, comes life. Without blood, comes death. 

Steve refused to let that happen. 

He couldn’t help but think about how wrong this all was. The shot you took was meant for him, after all. It shouldn’t be you that was experiencing the fiery pain of a bullet while you writhed on the ground. It should never be you.

“Almost there,” Natasha called out while she prepared to land safely.

“You hear that?” Steve gave you a weak smile. “We’re here.”

The ramp of the quinjet lowered and the familiar doctors were already there, just as Bucky had ordered. They raced into the jet and began to take you from Steve and place you on a stretcher for easier transportation. Your eyes felt heavy and your limbs felt weak. You knew you were close to passing out but reached out and grabbed Steve’s arm as tightly as you could. He looked down at the weak grip you had on his uniform in surprise.

“Don’t leave,” you croaked out.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, his heart clenching.

The scarlet blood that had once flowed through you, had kept you alive, was now dried and brown, coating Steve’s hands and arms. If he had bothered to look in a mirror, he would’ve seen a streak of it on his forehead too from where he had kept nervously running his fingers through his hair. But Steve didn’t care about that. He hadn’t moved from his spot in the medical wing since you had arrived hours ago.

The rest of the team sat with him, their faces somber and their minds racing. Nobody had heard from the doctors since they brought you in for surgery and everyone was beginning to fear the worst. It was approaching hour 6 when a doctor finally approached them and they all rose from their seats in anticipation.

“Well?” Tony was the first to speak. “How is she?”

“She’ll make it,” the doctor replied, knowing that was the main news they had been waiting for.

Sam and Natasha relaxed their stiff postures. Wanda almost burst into tears. Bucky felt like he could finally breathe again.

“We had to perform debridement to remove some shrapnel that was left behind but the bullet went through her pectoralis minor muscle and managed to avoid any arteries or nerves,” the doctor continued. “All things considered, she got lucky. If it had severed a brachial artery or hit the brachial plexus, she could’ve bled out or lost all function in her arm.”

“Can we see her?” Steve asked, not wanting to hear anything about how much worse it could’ve been.

“She’s awake but drowsy, and obviously in a lot of pain,” she responded. “As long as you don’t crowd her, I don’t see why you can’t visit her for a little while.”

Tony thanked the doctor before she left and the team took a minute to let the news sink in. You were okay.

“I’m thinking of giving that doc a pay rise,” Tony commented, causing the group to smile for the first time since the accident. 

“Why don’t you go first, Steve?” Although Bucky desperately wanted to see you, he knew that Steve should be the one to do it first. “I’m sure you guys have some things you want to talk about.” 

When nobody objected to the idea, Steve nodded and nervously made his way to your room. Exhaling slowly, he pushed open your door and faltered at the sight of you. You had always been shorter than him but seeing you lying in the hospital bed with a bandage covering your shoulder and part of your chest, you looked so… small.

Steve approached your bed and lowered himself into the chair they had placed next to you. When you took in his appearance, you frowned and carefully lifted your good hand to brush your fingers over a cut placed above his eyebrow. 

“Are you okay?” 

Your voice was quiet but Steve heard it clear as day and choked out a laugh, the tears building in his eyes threatening to fall.

“You just got shot and you’re asking if I’m okay?”

“I worry,” you said simply.

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat and gently took your smaller hand in his. The blood on his hands contrasted harshly with the whiteness of the room.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “You shouldn’t have been the one to get hit.”

“It was either you or me,” you attempted to shrug but quickly stopped when the now-familiar pain shot through you. “It was an easy decision to make.”

“I’ll be with you through all of it,” he promised. “While you’re recovering, I’ll be here. Whatever you need, just say the word.”

“I think your presence is enough,” you smiled.

“Today was the closest I’ve ever come to losing you,” Steve began to brush his thumb across the back of your hand. “I was terrified. The thought of never being able to tell you…”

“Tell me what?” you asked when it became clear that he wasn’t going to finish.

“You should get some sleep.”

“Steve.” Despite the trauma you’d been through, your voice was firm. You gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. “Talk to me.”

He shook his head in response, seemingly at war with himself over what to do. You didn’t want to rush him and allowed him the time he needed to think. Your hands remained joined together, both providing the other with the comfort they needed. 

You weren’t sure how long the silence lasted but when Steve finally spoke, his voice seemed stronger than you’d ever heard it before.

“I love you.”