#i wrote xiaolumi before i knew...... but now i know. i Understand. and it makes me even less sane

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] i dont think about Kissing but like i DONT THINK. ABOUT KISSING. in the way most ppl think and u rite i despise it in the romantic way idek if its an aro thing But Like. i do think about kissing in that kinda way. like uh.

like ur first qpr xiaolumi fic....... when lumine just kinda,... screw it ill just do the thing i kept thinkign,... and kiss xiao's lil crown on his sweat matted hair after his breakdown. and his lil surprised face and wide-spread but still faint blush. i just. i Think about that type of kissing. i think bout that Kiss. something so convenient something thats really Needed yknow and it hurts in a good way cus xiao NEEDS IT YKNOW.

i also think bout kissing in my own context like my xiao dead(ish) brainrot when he sleepge perpetually on bed. lumine waiting after hours of her one-sided convo to him. just waiting, kinda. it gets tiring it gets a lil hopeless a lil dull to keep seeing him like that but she still sits there. she waits for him. wishes him well. even if she leaves once in a while bc she knows he wouldnt want her to wallow like some wet sludge by the bedside and ye need to touch some good ol grass.

she wishes him well. one day he'll wake up. so like. gosh. i guess theres something to give yknow. as somekind of guarantee, or anything to assure herself, what she needs to think more than to wait more of.

and lumine gives a featherlight peck on his cheek, just below his eye. they call it an angel kiss, usually for those who wants to wake up their sleeping loved ones in the morning. yeagh. just once.

i also hate kissing but i also think about kissing in that specific way yknow i just aueutjnajjdjdbfbbsbfjdhskzkcksjfjkshfbsbdbhajfjsjcjdjfjhdvdgshsgajfhdhfhshshjfjsj

"and kiss xiao's lil crown on his sweat matted hair after his breakdown. and his lil surprised face and wide-spread but still faint blush" now tell me why i literally wrote this scene months ago and reading this still made me want to burst immediately into tears. EVERY TIME I IMAGINE IT OR ANYTHING LIKE I I JUST. MMMMMMMMMFGNMNGMNFGMFNM

SLEEPGE........ crying. i love -ge on words but i dont Think ive seen sleepge im obsessed now okay anywyas

AN ANGEL KISS......... FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO WAKE UP THEIR SLEEPING LOVED ONES IN THE MORNING.......... JUST ONCE....................... EUEUUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEU

im fine. this is fine. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK