#okay so im so nervy to say this but

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] i dont think about Kissing but like i DONT THINK. ABOUT KISSING. in the way most ppl think and u rite i despise it in the romantic way idek if its an aro thing But Like. i do think about kissing in that kinda way. like uh.

like ur first qpr xiaolumi fic....... when lumine just kinda,... screw it ill just do the thing i kept thinkign,... and kiss xiao's lil crown on his sweat matted hair after his breakdown. and his lil surprised face and wide-spread but still faint blush. i just. i Think about that type of kissing. i think bout that Kiss. something so convenient something thats really Needed yknow and it hurts in a good way cus xiao NEEDS IT YKNOW.

i also think bout kissing in my own context like my xiao dead(ish) brainrot when he sleepge perpetually on bed. lumine waiting after hours of her one-sided convo to him. just waiting, kinda. it gets tiring it gets a lil hopeless a lil dull to keep seeing him like that but she still sits there. she waits for him. wishes him well. even if she leaves once in a while bc she knows he wouldnt want her to wallow like some wet sludge by the bedside and ye need to touch some good ol grass.

she wishes him well. one day he'll wake up. so like. gosh. i guess theres something to give yknow. as somekind of guarantee, or anything to assure herself, what she needs to think more than to wait more of.

and lumine gives a featherlight peck on his cheek, just below his eye. they call it an angel kiss, usually for those who wants to wake up their sleeping loved ones in the morning. yeagh. just once.

i also hate kissing but i also think about kissing in that specific way yknow i just aueutjnajjdjdbfbbsbfjdhskzkcksjfjkshfbsbdbhajfjsjcjdjfjhdvdgshsgajfhdhfhshshjfjsj

"and kiss xiao's lil crown on his sweat matted hair after his breakdown. and his lil surprised face and wide-spread but still faint blush" now tell me why i literally wrote this scene months ago and reading this still made me want to burst immediately into tears. EVERY TIME I IMAGINE IT OR ANYTHING LIKE I I JUST. MMMMMMMMMFGNMNGMNFGMFNM

SLEEPGE........ crying. i love -ge on words but i dont Think ive seen sleepge im obsessed now okay anywyas

AN ANGEL KISS......... FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO WAKE UP THEIR SLEEPING LOVED ONES IN THE MORNING.......... JUST ONCE....................... EUEUUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEU

im fine. this is fine. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[mydearesthrry]

hey love, im absolutely in love w your writing and wanted to ask if you could write something about harry asking reader/(y/n) out? maybe he’s super nervous cause he’s been crushing on her for awhile <3

obvious - h.s.

a/n: thank you for the request, lovie! this got a little messy but i hope i lived up to your wishes a little. enjoyyyy <3

🎀 warnings/cw: nothing, fluff ofc, harry being a little nervy boy

🐇 pairing: actress!reader x harry styles

💐 wc: 1.1k

summary: y/n thought she was being so obvious- looks like she was wrong.

“You look incredible,” Harry mutters, eyes trying to stray off of his script in an attempt to memorize it for the scene the next day. “I’ve been thinking we should try something crazy…” He pauses, trying to let the scene play out as accurately as possible. “Let’s have a baby.” 

A few beats pass. “What?” YN follows, a bewildered look in her eyes. Harry just smiles, eyes flicking down at his script, nodding when he remembered his line. 

“I mean, not right this second, obviously, we don’t have time. But…” Throwing the words around in his head, trying to ignore his chest squeezing at how accurate his next words were in reference to her, “I love you, and I want more of you, and now I think I want a little you. I don’t know. It’d be an adventure.”

Their eyes catch each other, and they share a look that they both couldn’t explain even meant. YN dropped her gaze first before clearing her throat and shifting on the sofa. “Yeah, that was great, H. I think we’ll do well tomorrow.” 

Harry sniffed and looked down at his script, flipping back to the title page. “Um– yeah, we will.” 

Fuck. Harry thought. His hands kept fidgeting, left leg bouncing up and down. He wasn’t even anxious, per se, but he felt so incredibly nervous because of the pretty angel sitting next to him. He’d been pining over her since he was a teenager, watching all of her movies the day they came out, and listening to all of the tracks that she’d sung on every soundtrack. He even went on a spontaneous trip with the boys when they were in New York just to see her perform on Broadway. 

So safe to say, when he got the call back that he’d gotten the role of Jack Chambers in Don’t Worry Darling, he was doing somersaults when he found out who his on screen wife would be. It felt crazy to him that his dreams from when he was in tenth year had finally come to fruition— kind of. The two had a weird relationship at first, YN being extremely closed off and standoffish at the beginning, but she slowly let Harry break down her cemented walls that she’s had up for so long. She didn’t know why, but for some reason, Harry was one of the only people that she allowed to get to know her– fully, at least. 

“Okay, pretty boy, it’s getting pretty late, and I have an earlier call time tomorrow than you do, so I think I’m gonna head out now.” Standing up, she brushed off the front of her gray sweatpants, showing up to Harry’s flat in the most comfortable clothes possible since she knew she would be there for a while. She picked up their now empty wine glasses, them having shared a glass or two throughout the course of the night. 

Harry didn’t give any response and an awkward silence filled the air, almost suffocating as YN stared at Harry in confusion. “H?” 

Nothing. 

Harry was lost in his thoughts, seemingly. I need to do it now, but what if she says no! What if I’ve been misreading her this entire time and she’s just being nice? But that wouldn’t even make sense, would it? She’s been picking up what I’ve been putting down… I think? Has she? Fuck… Wait, wait what? Is she leaving? Why’s she slipping her shoes on?

“Wait,” Harry managed to choke out, YN halting her movements immediately. “Don’t– um, don’t leave, please? Come sit down, I wanna… I wanna ask y’something.” 

Fuck, he was really doing this. 

“Been trying to tell you that I’m leaving for like, ten minutes now, Babe.” She laughed, toeing her shoe off, dropping the other one she had in her hand onto the floor. 

“What’s up? What’s the matter?” She traced his face with her eyes, clocking his distant look that was written all over his face. 

“Bug, have t’tell y’something, but if I’m wrong, y’have to tell me, promise?” Harry mumbled, eyes flicking down to his hands where he was fidgeting with his ringless fingers. His rings were in a velvety cinched bag that YN, of course, had gotten him at a little thrift shop they found. 

“Promise, babe. Now, what is it, is everything okay?” She gripped the bottom of his chin in an attempt to get him to look at her. It began reminding her of the scene they filmed earlier of their characters in the living room in a very vulnerable state. 

He was too nervous to say his next words to even realize she'd called him babe. “I… I- um- I don’t want this t’ruin our relationship, but I have t’tell y’cause it’s been basically eating at me, but I… I really like y’and I want nothing more than t’take y’out on a date. But, if y’don’t feel the same don’t worry! I jus’ didn’t want to not tell y’and ruin our friendship or anything, even though now I fear I’ve made it wors-” 

“Oh my God,” She cut him off, giggles that soon turned into full on cackles filling the air. He watched her in fear, a worried look now on his face at the thought that she was laughing at him. “Harry, sweet boy, I would love to go out with you.” 

“I- you- wha- what? I… I don’t think I understand?” He stumbled, her actions and words not adding up in his YN clouded brain. 

“I thought I was being so obvious about how I felt about you, H. Sorry for not being more clear, that’s on me. Is this why you’ve been so distant and weird with me lately? You’ve been acting like this just ‘cause you have a crush on me?” She tried to understand, but by the look on his face she could see that he was really not getting what was even happening right now. “Babe, I’ve liked you since I watched you in the crowd of the first AMA’s you went to. I didn’t even get to meet you, but I’ve liked you since I’ve seen you, and it honestly’s gotten worse since I have to pretend to be your wife on screen.” 

Harry was bewildered. “So, y’telling me, that all this time I’ve just had to ask? Instead of torturing myself every night?” 

“Yeah, bug, that’s what ‘M telling you,” She giggled, moving closer to him on the couch. “We’re doing this backward, I think. How’s it that I’ve had your literal tongue in my mouth before you’ve even taken me out on a date?” 

“Well, when you put it that way!” He laughs, pulling her onto his lap like he’s always wanted and waited to do. They sat in silence for a few beats, letting their eyes roam around their faces without worrying about the director yelling 'Cut!'.

“What’re you waiting for? Gonna ask me out officially?” She whispered, moving her face closer to Harry, them being able to now feel their breaths waft between them. 

“Nah, gonna kiss y’first, officially as us, and not as Jack and Alice.” Harry mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

And when their lips finally touched as Y/N and Harry, the teenage boy in Harry was practically doing backflips and somersaults, knowing that his dreams had finally come true.

[the-record]

mine…

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

synopsis: abby’s new to town and you just have to show her around…

pairing: college!abby x reader

warnings: none me thinks

a/n: hi so another smau type bc yall LOVED the last one. im sorry ab not finishing the series, tumblr isn’t the best to write on its been majorly glitchy for me and it would’ve taken me 20 hours to write those

my masterlist

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

you were in college, working part time waiting tables left a small town, never looked back i was a flight risk with a fear of falling wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts

“hi, im abby, ill be your server today, can i get you started with some drinks?”

you looked from your friend as your server arrived, seeing a tall blonde girl you’d yet to see here.

“hi, you’re new.” you smiled sweetly before answering. “ill just take a water,” she nodded before looking to ellie. she ordered a coke and abby left with a nod. “shes cute.”

“not my type.” you rolled your eyes at her, leaning back into the booth. “i know, im not stupid, you meant for you.”

you looked over to see if she was near, findinf her not to be, before turning back to ellie. “where do you think shes been hiding all this time, i’ve literally never seen her here before?”

“a water and a coke.” the drinks were placed on your table along with two straws. “are you ready, or would you like some time to look over the menu.”

you shook your head as you unwrapped your straw. “no, we’re all good.” you and ellie both ordered, but before abby left you stopped her. “wait, where are you from? you new?”

she nodded, stepping into a more comfortable position infront of your table. “yea, actually, just moved last week. im from jackson, small town about an hour from here.” you hummed.

“interesting, so you’re here for college then?” ellie kicked you and you scoffed, shaking your head at her. “just trying to get to know the pretty lady a bit, chill.” abby blushed and you smiled. “so, college?”

“yea, closest college, didnt wanna go too far from home.”

“cute. okay, ill leave you be now, nice to meet you though abby, welcome!”

you left your name and number on a napkin.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

abby: hey, this angel?

angel: sure is babe

abby: hey it’s abby

angel: well hi! was kinda nervous you didnt see the napkin lmao

abby: i was kinda nervous to text you

angel: you’re cute.

angel: anyways i did have a reason for leaving my info

abby: really? i thought u must just give it out to all strangers.

angel: hardy har. good one.

angel: ANYWAYS

angel: wanna go out sometime? i know this super cute restaurant

abby: yea sure why not

angel: cool, ill send you the address. friday at 7 work?

abby: perfect.

ill say “can you believe it?” as we’re lying on the couch the moment i can see it yes, yes i can see it now

yourinstagram

yourinstagram first date, kinda nervy shes a serial killer

tagged: a_anderson

load comments…

a_anderson only u could take this pic and make me seem crazy

↳ yourinstagram its my specialty

dina_nolastname oh u found one that ties shoes? look at you go

↳ elliewilliams i tie ur shoes all the time okay

elliewilliams cute ig

jessesucks ill tie ur shoes for u

↳ yourinstagram please dont. you wear velcro shoes

do you remember we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing that’s ever been mine

a_anderson

a_anderson @ the random passerby who took this and airdropped it to me, ill name my firstborn after u

tagged: yourinstagram

load comments…

yourinstagram we r so cute 👩‍❤️‍���‍👩

↳ a_anderson wanna makeout?

mannynotnanny i h8 u

↳ a_anderson manny cannot spell: ✅

owenmoore69 been there 2 weeks and already moved on

jerry_anderson So happy for you Abs. Miss you! ❤️❤️❤️

↳ a_anderson miss you more dad 🤍

elliewilliams gag.

↳ a_anderson go away.

↳ yourinstagram yea, go away.

flash forward and we’re taking on the world together and theres a drawer of my things at your place you learn my secrets, and you figure out why im guarded you say we’ll never make my parents mistakes

abby: i have no hoodies

abby: you have any idea why?

angel: …

abby: angellllllllllllll

angel: THEYRE SO COMFY THO

abby: so ill buy u some

angel: but theyre yours i dont want new ones i want YOURS

angel: please you cant take them

angel: they’re mine now

abby: babe i need one

angel: you have one tho

abby: okay but it doesn’t go with my outfit

abby: just the grey one for today and ill bring it home tn

angel: promise?

abby: promise.

angel: fine. bring me a slushy

abby: whatever you want babe

abby: omw.

but we got bills to pay we’ve got nothing figured out when it was hard to take yes, yes this is what i thought about

abby: come over

angel: i cant love

abby: fine, ill come over

angel: no i cant come over bc ive got work in 30

abby: nooooooooooo

abby: call out.

abby: please.

angel: i would but i have rent due this weekend and my car payment the next

abby: just move in with me

angel: mhm yes whatever you want love

abby: no, like im serious

abby: move in

angel: isnt that kinda stereotypical

abby: what moving in after 2 months?

angel: yea yk uhaul lesbians??

abby: and? move in

angel: okay i actually really want to but i still have work so i gotta get ready

angel: but ill come over after and we can talk ab this????

abby: yay! see you then, have a good shift, text me if u need me 🤍

do you remember we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing that’s ever been mine do you remember all the city lights on the water? you saw me start to believe for the first time you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing thats ever been mine

yourinstagram

yourinstagram best thing to ever be mine 🤍

tagged: a_anderson

load comments…

a_anderson come over i miss u

↳ yourinstagram i left an hour ago 😭

↳ a_anderson UR POINT?????

elliewilliams cringe.

dina_nolastname where r u

↳ yourinstagram cali… we got bored

↳ dina_nolastname GIRL

jessesucks y wasnt i invited??!?!

↳ yourinstagram bc ur u?

↳ dina_nolastname you’ll get em next time

↳ elliewilliams HA

and i remember that fight, 2:30 am as everything was slipping right out of our hands i ran out crying, and you followed me out into the street braced myself for the goodbye ‘cause its all ive ever known and you took me by surprise you said, “ill never leave you alone.”

“maybe i shouldnt move in,” you said, testing how far the both of you could go.

abby sighed, throwing her hands in the hair. “maybe you shouldnt!”

you watched the regret make into onto her face as your heart sunk. you headed out the door, grabbing your keys as you went. you almost made it to the car when you heard abby yelling your name.

“angel, please!” you turned to face her, just feet from your car. you heard thunder start as you waited for her to get closer to you. “im so sorry, please i dont mean it and you know it.”

“im never gonna leave you alone.”

you said, “i remember how we felt sitting by the water and every time i look at you, its like the first time i fell in love with a careless mans careful daughter she is the best thing thats ever been mine.”

a_anderson

a_anderson officially all moved in 🏡

tagged: yourusername

load comments…

yourusername i made her vaccum

↳ a_anderson u didnt make me do anything

↳ yourusername hmmm

elliewilliams housewarming party when

↳ a_anderson never.

mannynotnanny happy for you abs

dina_nolastname MY BABY SHES SO HAPPY MWAH MWAH MWAH LOVE U ANGEL

jerry_anderson My girl is so grown up, love you Abs ❤️❤️❤️

↳ a_anderson love you too dad, miss you ❤️

hold on, make it last hold on, never turn back you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing thats ever been mine

yourusername

yourusername happy 1 year baby. i love you 🤍

tagged: a_anderson

load comments…

a_anderson so lucky to love you 🤍

dina_nolastname happy 1 year dorks, love u both sm im so happy for u ur perfect

jessesucks yall r so cute omg

jerry_anderson Abby picked a good one, love you Angel. Happy 1 year to you two! ❤️❤️❤️

↳ yourusername thank you jerry 🤍 love you too, we will be visiting soon promise

elliewilliams photocreds where?!?

↳ yourusername i hate you.

↳ a_anderson up my butt.

↳ elliewilliams ur so immature goodness.

do you believe it? we’re gonna make it now and i can see it i can see it now

[lunels]

with dating ellie comes with…

dating ellie williams !!

♡ - decided to write this on a whim when i woke up from a short nap today. was kinda reluctant to post this cause i know there are a lottt of these out there buuuttt, this was fun 2 write. anywayyyy, enjoy < 3

with dating ellie, comes with…

her iconic and award-winning journal. that thing has documented just about everything in her life over the years annddddd before dating U she would write about you in it constantly. even b4 she realized she was crushing. just saying how cool you are and she loves being your friend. im talking before bed, having breakfast, after talking to you, after hearing you laugh. she’d draw you too. jot down little details ab you. you name it, it’s journaled. you’d come across it one day and see a few pages written about you, all smiley like awwweeee ellieeeeee, you reallly love meee and she’d be soo embarrassed, like yeah.. just a little bit.

which takes us toooo…. her episodic memory! (😱it’s true! jk.) but nah actually this girl’s memory is hit or miss. in terms of you though she remembers a lot of things…. like how you get grumbly when you’re hungry or how you prefer sitting down to wipe instead of standing up orrr how your first kiss with her was on a wednesday at 6:54pm. the weird little things you know!? other times…. information goes through one ear and out the other. you ask her what she did 10 mins ago & she’s stuck sitting there trying to recall. sometimes you wonder if you were to knock on her head if it would feel hollow or not.

her unusual appetite… i think she’s a picky eater and LOVES to eat but LOVES……. finger foods. what you would consider snacks would be breakfast lunch and dinner to her. one day you'd be in the store by the freezers & she'd dramatically gasp, ....dino fuckin nuggets? they had these the whole time?! aw man.. and she's just holding the box while reading the ingredients like its the most interesting discovery. babe do you SEE this??? did you know????? and you’re like noo… whaaattt! that’s crazyyy! knowing she won’t eat anything else & it would be her favorite hyperfixation of food til like. death. ellie is not going to dive into a 5 star meal. i mean, she would... but it's not preferred. if you’re having a date night she will happily order chicken tenders and fries with a side of ketchup. hell if she’s feeling a lil healthy that day a cup of grapes too. meanwhile you have… not that. your plate consists of five cheese ziti with a buttered and crisp breadstick on the side with garlic parmesan marinara sauce for dip idk. she'll just look at your plate like "okay! if that's what you like babe......if you like it go ahead…" while munching on a piece of chicken. you'd shrug, "least i don't eat like a toddler." the contrast in plates is horrificcc

her lowkey cocky and competitive nature. don’t get me wrong she’s default awkward and nervy but does have a bit of an ego. her vocabulary consists of alot of “yeah?”s and shit that makes you nervous but as soooonnnn as you hit back with the same energy she’s shying away and stuttering. because she’s like damn that made me feel something. uh oh. dating her would consist of a lot of races and competition over simple things….. such as seeing who could get to bed first, orrr race u to kitchen! when you two first started dating she would tell you lots of facts (still does) ab space/dinosaurs and be like “a million earth’s can fit inside the sun. did ya know that babe??” “i bet you don’t know why this dinosaur poops in pebbles…” why would you??? now it's just a regular occurrence. she’d feel so smart and brainy knowing you don’t know a thing she’s talking about. with her competitive side she’s also kinda sore loser too. you beat her in a video game, she’s moping around the entire day until you finally give in to a rematch… mumbling ab how that was just a warmup. and she hasn’t played the game in a while. yeah ok. but best believe she’s shit talking the entire time and finally boasting ab her longggg overdue win

her nerdy dorky loser side. she’s a nerd. she’s a dork. she’s a loser!! idc what u say that’s her. everyone should know this. the girl is in love with space and dinosaurs and reads comics and is technically a pro gamer. like that’s her shit. what does that say?? & the pun books?? come. on. being her gf would mean that there wouldn’t be a day that’d go by that you wouldn’t hear about a fun fact ab space or how something reminded her of a particular dinosaur that lived 19356827.9999 years ago. if you ever touch one of her collectibles or pick up those little trading cards or highly rare action figures she'd immediately run over and swat your hand away, lecturing you about how they haven't sold this character in years and she found this at a garage sale 5 years ago.... how could you- why you do such a thing??!?!? like babe… i love you… so much. but. don’t touch my shit ever again. yeah. it's that serious.

sleepless nights!!!!! she’s pretty much an insomniac. lowkey, but highkey. like, she sleeps, obviously, but she can’t sleep. which would often lead to you waking up in the middle of the night to find her re-building a jurassic park lego set orrrr playing one of her little video games. maybe jamming out to some music as she draws. (bonus if she's drawing your face cuz she can’t you outta her head) and all u hear is her humming along, music blasting out of her headphones like drrrrr dodododoo yeAhhh ooOooO or times if you can’t sleep either, the two of you would be up talking and goofing off w hushed laughs over nothing but it’s really everything to her and she just looks at you with her pretty eyes like... this person is really my whole world.

her guitar skills!!! how could i forget!!!! she plays, like a lot, and anytime you’re over that’s the one of the things she’s doing. most likely playing along to her fav band or practicing a song you suggested once. she’d always wanna play for you and show you a new trick she learned or play you a song she wrote. (bonus if it’s about you<33) if she’s sooo in love with you she’d def wanna teach you a few things:)) sometimes if you can’t sleep she’d be like babe gimme a song. any song and i’ll play it for you. and you’re likee glue song:))) then… there u go. she’d do all the little tuning stuff & you can’t help but feel mesmerized by the way her pretty hands pluck the strings or how she hums the lyrics on some parts. glancing at you every while to make sure you're still listening. she’s just sooo… *prettily sighs*

comic con. anime con. gaming con. YOU NAME IT. shes at all the cons!!!! she’s there and flourishing like a little butterfly. best believe she is dragging you to every single one (for support and comfort cause she wouldn’t ever go alone) and showing you eve-r-y-thing. everything? everything!!! she’d be genuinely excited. all smiley and jumping from place 2 place, pointing at all the characters she recognizes. like babe that's the wizard guy!!! remember him??? and then that's his buddy who’s like a thousand fuckin years old! look at him!!! never knew dude was so wrinkly in person though...yeesh. and you're like ohh… yeaahh☺️ so overwhelmed and very much confused and getting characters mixed up w others from her little rants but she's happy so you're happy n that's all that matters right? if you can't show up for some reason, her gf, who she forced to have on her arm, then jesse because he was the next person actually down to go BUT she would make him take a bunch of pics just to personally send to you. like waitwaitwait she's gotta see this—jesse where's my fucking phone?!? okay whatever just use yours. hurry up before they leave! spamming you left & right with all these attachments of her posed w her favs or pics of her at the different events there. she’d look so cute that you’re like okaaayy…. maybeeee i’ll go w her next time :)))

okay that’s it! this was rly fun to write!! i hope someone out there liked this and maybeee i'll do a prt 2 :) all loveee < 33

[hyewka]

If it not tmi and only if u want to answer did it hurt when you lost your v card so many ppl say it does and doesn’t how could I prevent it from hurting im nervy

I’m part of the bunch that had a less than a decent first time lol but thats partly due to the circumstances surrounding it.

Generally though I have learned some things so I think 1. lessen your expectations but not too much to the point where you’re expecting it to be the most terrible thing ever (you might not orgasm the first time you do it and thats entirely okay!!!!) and 2. i think foreplay is a big part of it, and why I think so many people have had terrible experiences. With your partner, make sure to ease those nerves just even one notch down with foreplay (making out, dry humping, fingering, dirty talk etc) and getting you lubricated enough, also if your partner’s a man he needs to lube it up as well. I hope youre practicing safe sex so I would say to ask your partner to use a water based lube (never oil based) if theyre using a condom 🙏

3. If you have experience with getting yourself off and knowing your body well, you’re set!! I had my first time when I was confused as fuck about my body so it was just an awkward time but if you masturbate, then guiding the person on how to make you feel better is going to do like, wonders for you.

I personally hold the belief that if youre not going to do it for the first time with someone experienced then do it with someone you actually have an emotional connection with, like someone you trust to navigate it because its a very vulnerable experience. Sex is also 10x more enjoyable with someone you actually like lol so avoid fucking someone you dont know for the first time I would say is a good tip

[wannabelife]

hello lovely!! i’m not sure if ur asks are open but this is my first req ever im a little nervy

may i please req hard!dom seungkwan who’s into cum stuffing/keeping it in u and exhibitionism? but he’s the sweetest and has amazing aftercare when he’s done bc he knows he goes really rough. i hope this is okay!! thank u so much for ur time

no problem at all, feel free to send me asks anytime !! i actually love your request !! its so hard to find ppl going for hard dom seungkwan so im just always happy to make it come true.

btw i have an one shot that has some of those things you asked, its the ride with you drabble. your ask just reminded me of it.... maybe, you'll like that one too !!

[MDNI] under the cut !! enjoy ;) >>> WARNING!!! it gets a bit too intense, so be careful if you are going to read it!! it has some spanking too <<<

you had no other choice but to bite onto the pillow. a few minutes ago, seungkwan was kissing all over your body and whispering sweet things to you. until he got up, unbuttoned his jeans while staring deep down your figure, he said "in all fours, pretty"

he handled his member, giving a few testing bumps until he was fully erect. you shamelessly stared at his naked form, toned arms and veiny hands while he was working on his cock. you were drooling over him and he knows his effect.

and now, you are here. his hands grabbing your sides harshly, his cock inside you, trusting hard and steady. he is slowly picking up his pace, your moans coming out muffled because of the pillow on your face, making him grunt.

"i want to fucking hear you, yn" he says frustrated and you whine.

you feel so embarrassed by how weak you already are, that you dont answer or do anything. and that's when a slap hits your ass as you whimper, your pussy shameless throbbing around him and he fucking scoffs, a smirk on his lips that you cant see, knowing how much you like it and how good he makes you feel.

"i said i wanna hear you" another slap on the other side and you had no choice but to face up "that's right" he praises, caressing where he slapped, to calm down the burning that it left.

he hovers over you, his member reaching more of you as he starts to trust harder and rough this time. his hands slowly caressing your lower belly until he sneaks to your center. he flicks his fingers on you, bring it to his lips right after, licking his digits dry, humming at your taste. you moan just by the sound he made and the little pop after he suck it off.

his fingers are back on your center, working on your clit this time, making you arch your back, your pussy starting to clench around him.

"feeling good?" he says, a little mock on his tone, as you start to feel dizzy, your high approaching.

then he slips out. just like that. you whine uncontrollably, your pussy wetting asking for relief. "i asked you something" he gives you no chance to protest as he is shifting your position so you can face him. your body is practically thrown, your hair spreads messyly, and your sweat is collected on your forehead.

"yes, feeling good" your voice come out low and timid as you answer him.

"you should havee said" he slips "now stay like this, wanna see this pretty face when you cum"

he goes kiss your neck and shoulders, his velvet lips meeting your throat as you throw your head back, opening space for his kisses.

"so needy, my little slut" he spits while taking his kisses down and in-between your breast.

he envelopes one of your nipples around his mouth while his hand plays with the other one.

"kwannie... please..." you whine, your clit aching.

"what's that?" he says while changing to the other nipple, sucking the flesh. you whimper, your nails meeting the skin of his back as you get sexualy frustrated. he moans with your montion, biting your nipple in response, making you squirm under him.

"i need to cum kwannie please" you beg and he hands his dick to your pussy, just slidding it up and down on you, not entering quite yet.

"please, please, please" you ask repeatedly, the overstimulation so much that you have tears forming around your eyes.

he finally enters you again, sliding so easily that he is able to start trusting without waiting for you to ajust. going fast and hard, you can't help but moan his name. the pleasure built all over again in no time. he feels so proud, hearing his name sleeping from you in every way possible, he needs you to have the best orgasms of your life and he needs to be the one to give you them.

"so fucking pretty and all mine" his voice come out raspy and you feel so close to cumming.

just when you're about to make it through, he stops again. no friction at all, just him inside you as you warm him up. you start to sob, and he laughs at your state. your form so weak and you throbbing so much, giving him such a hard time to not cum inside you already but he will never let you know that.

"FUCK! i hate you seungkwan... i- fuuuck, i need to cum" you're literally crying almost yelling. that's when something shifts on him.

"what did you just say?" he asks, hovering over you one more time, so he can hand your jaw to make you look at him.

"that i fucking hate you" you say and his grip on your face tightens.

"you're going to regret that" he spits, his tone kinda low and steady, making you glup dry. leaving two little taps on your cheeks as a warning.

he pins you down and starts to trust again, way harder than before, like you didn't know that this was even possible. your hands, finding his locks to grip on it to find some stability as he grunts.

one particular trust and your eyes roll back, hitting the sweet spot inside you, making you sob again. he goes faster, hitting your g stop repeatedly now that he has found it.

"say you're sorry" he spits, his lower lips caged in between his teeth as he's getting close too. you're out of your mind, but your ego doesn't let you say anything.

"fucking brat" he says, going back up again, his palm hitting your clit harshly when he slaps you there. you tremble under him, your legs shaking and feeling yourself all over the place.

"guess i will have to teach you how to be a good girl, hm?" he says while his hands go to your neck, leaving a bit of pressure there "say you're sorry" he demands again.

you're throbbing so much, you feel like you are going to pass out if you dont release "im sorry, kwannie. im so sorry. so sorry, kwannie" you whine to him, squirming under his touch.

he chockes you a bit more and keeps trusting on your spot "beautiful" he praises and you feel your high about to release. his dick throb inside you and that's your breaking point. you cum, so much coming out of you, the bed sheets getting wet by your cum.

he cums inside you with a low moan right after, feeling you clench and milk his cock nonstop. he collapses on you while you two try to comedown from the intense orgasm.

when your breath starts to get back to normal, he slowly sleeps out of you, you whine feeling a bit sore from the overstimulation pain.

"i know, i know" he sympathies, making the same face as you as if the pain were in him too "I'm sorry, baby" he says.

"don't be" you reply cutely.

he looks at your center, his cum sleeping slightly out of you that he immediately puts back in "lets not waste any of that. keep me warm inside you" he says, little starts in his eyes as he looks back at you and smiles at your exhausted figure.

"I'll be back" he says and you nod. seungkwan hushes to the bathroom, running the water on the bath before getting some wipes.

he goes back to you, to clean you up with the wet wipes. after he is done, he hugs your form, giving you a peck on the lips "the bath is ready for you, baby" you smile thinking how can someone shift so easily, he might be your dream come true, you're the luckiest.

"c'mon, dont get lazy now" he says, sensing that you won't get up anytime soon. he gets you up bridal stile so he can get you to the bathroom.

"will you help me?" you ask, feeling too weak to wash yourself.

"of course. leave it to me. i wash you up, pretty" he confirms, leaving sweet kisses to your neck as you both smiles.

[pearlzier]

okay i Lied, i’m Not faceless, it was actually Me who sent beau + puppygirl!gf😧 i just got scared to send it like.. Not on anon, cus i just never know how ppl will react to certain things and i get nervy, but like i also trusted in a way that You Would Get It, and you Do so i’m not nervy anymore😸🤞🏼

i definitely have plans to write abt this (maybe multiple parts, idk yet) but it’s just been Eating away at me for awhile now and i can’t keep these thoughts in or i’ll explode and die so i’m glad you’re in the brainrot with me now. i may or may not also make a bot, who knows.. i’m already planning a couple sling themed ones with beau (cus my beau sling coded brainrot also goes crazy)

anyways, MORE BEAU AND HIS PUPPYGIRL THOUGHTS!!!!!

she definitely gets excited every time they go to the store and see Anything relating to any of her hyperfixations. like beau literally can’t even let her go to the store by herself anymore cus she has absolutely zero impulse control and will buy All of it and go broke.

irdk what is and isn’t okay for me to say here in regards to nswf things so i’ll keep those to myself for the moment

she Absolutely is texting beau while she’s getting her nails done and asking him what colors she should get. one time she got a cute cowboy/sheriff themed set for him (like cowboy hat, longhorn skull, belt buckle, badge, the whole nine) and he tweaked tf out.

CAR RIDES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can go into My More Specific Details on this, but it mostly speaks for itself.. just- CAR RIDES💗💗

she made him buy a small outside couch for the deck of the trailer so they could cuddle more easily when they watch movies, and she’s Definitely laying there curled up with her head in his lap while he plays with her hair…. and she ends up falling asleep only a few minutes into the movie like Almost every time, cus her hair is a weak spot and he has Magic Hands.

she’s one to wear the frolicking in a flower field at 4:00 dresses with stomp a hoe at 5:00 big chunky platform boots combo (has the black demonia camel-311’s to match beau’s black aviator jacket, and the og ‘camel color’ tan ones to match his tan suede jacket)

my beau + puppygirl!gf and beau + stoner!gf headcanons kinda go hand in hand, so… she definitely also smokes🤞🏼 (this is more of me projecting)

So. Many. stuffed animals

OCT..... THE BRAINWORMS IM HAVIN AT THIS VERY MOMENT I CANT EVEN !!!&!;;@;# when i read the first thoughts i was thinking you'd LOVE them so much when i see beau i think of u most definitely GUYS LISTEN TO THIS GENIUS :((((( BEAU X PUPPYGIRL!GF IM TWEAKING OUT SO HARD AUGH im freaking the FUCK out 😞💓 STUFFED ANIMALS!!!!!!!!! EEK

[baura-bear]

MAURA MAURA MAURA hiii :333 how are you how's stuff going!!! popping in to check in on you. hope you're feeling better bc i know you had a tougher time lately!!

and im here to dump my trans4trans javid tthoughts here. ok so i once read a really nice fanfic that portrayed david as presenting as a boy first to get a job as a newsboy after mayer's injury (i imagine they didn't take in girls or at least not too eagerly) and it was the first time he ever felt good and like truly himself. plus the name he chose . david. it was powerful and had significance as he was a Jewish person and like. obviously he felt so great!! and he also binded. though he was so anxious that the newsies would see that he isn't a "real" boy (obviously only using such wording to like. illustrate david's thoughts) but they didn't!! and david was welcomed and obviously there was also jack. and they were pretty infatuated right from the start. ok now just wanted to make clear that im just sharing my thoughts now. as for jack's transness i think the guys at the lodge all know? they've known jack for so long and he's their friend and he definitely trusts them a lot and obviously they support him! he's their guy!!! he's jack!!!! but they also obviously don't tell anyone that jack is trans. jack doesn't tell either. but as i was saying. jack and dave connect immediately and they get pretty enamored right away, and everyone could see that as well. and i imagine the first time jack learned that david is trans was when he had the talk with pulitzer... and pulitzer obviously disclosed some pretty personal information about david (his deadname) along with threatening to hurt his family if jack didn't comply. and since then jack knew obviously, and i think that only made him fall harder because. what are the odds that the guy you're in love with is *like you* in such a deep way? that he'll be able to understand you? that he'll take you seriously and you won't have to worry about not being perceived as a real guy? and after the strike when jack came back and everything was okay again. they definitely got closer and closer until eventually the inevitable Thing happened. a kiss probably or just a touch that was so unmistakably tender that they couldn't ignore their feelings any longer. and jack, before saying that he's in love, says that he knows david is trans. david literally gets paler than a sheet of paper and panics and wants to start apologizing but then jack quickly cuts him off with "no, dave, me-- me too! it's okay!" and then it sinks in for david and he's also so overwhelmed but in a good way and he can't help but just laugh and probably stim a bit because he's delighted for the same reason that jack is!!! and they definitely confess their feelings and they're so so very happy together. two boys in love :-)

DAVE DAVE DAVE!!!!! HI!!! Thank you for checking in :))) I’m alright! School starts soon so I’m a little nervy but I’m ok. I hope you’re doing well!!!!!

I HAVE DEFINITELY READ PART OF THIS FIC BEFORE (idk if I finished it but I remember loving it)

The the part about Jack finding out about Dave in Pulitzers office. Like,,, he realizes how much more danger David is in than he initially thought. And like it completely changes Jack and Snyder’s dynamic and why Snyder is so obsessed with catching this boy and how brutal his time in the Refuge might have been

And,,, David finding out that Jack knows. His entire world falls out from beneath him and he thinks this is just another person that he drove away because he doesn’t know how to be normal but the second he realizes Jack is safe he probably cries through laughter because what the fuck what a roller coaster of emotions to go on. And they just hug each other for a really long time and David probably says something about thinking he was the only one. And Jack’s like “oh boy have I got a surprise for you” because there are so many trans newsies (because I said so)

Also it makes David so happy to hear Les happily running around telling everyone that David is his older brother :’)

t4t Javid is the only Javid I love them sm

[allamericanb-tch]

only the brave thoughts (2)

chapter 7

regulus being overstimulated by the mail is so real

ooh he got a mysterious package

“Regulus reminds himself he has to breathe.” BYE

“It takes Barty a moment, then he realises what’s causing Regulus so much distress. “Is it because I’m touching you or is it because a boy is holding your hand?”” BARTYLUS HELLO

““If you want to shag a dude, do it for you. Not to get back at him.”” you tell him reggie

ooh james pov

HELLO HE DUELED MOODY AND JOINED THE ORDER

“He’s also James’ new crush, in a platonic, you’re so impressive I want to be you when I grow up kind of way.”

james in his liar era

okay he’s giving us a recap

remuuu

wolfstar wolfstar wolfstar

chapter 8

HELLO THIS CHAPTER IS CALLED KISS ME

bartylus AND jegulus ?! show it to me rachellll

omg barty has a crush on regulus doesn’t he and evan has a crush on barty

pandora had another dream

stag ?! james ?!

i’m so invested in this omg

bartylus jump scare

HUH

ARE THEY ABOUT TO KISS

my face is legit like 😧 right now

im so nervy that someone is going to walk in and that it’s going to be james

oh me oh my they’re kissing

they’re really going at it aren’t they

STOP IM IN MY CAR RN (parked dw) AND MY WINDOWS WERE DOWN BC ITS HOT OUTSIDE AND THERE WAS A SPIDER

james sent regulus cigarettes ?! he’s so whipped

THATS WHAT THE PACKAGE WAS OH

wolfstar

what about james eyelashes

““Sirius has pretty eyes and long lashes,” says Remus casually. Sirius chokes on his juice, spills all around him. Marlene shoots him a knowing smile that he misses because he’s too busy fighting for his life.”

BYE I DROVE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD there were no other cars around and ive literally never done that before okay (im not driving rn)

oooh james following regulus out of the great hall

🎶started with a kiss oh we must stop meeting like this🎶 (they have not kissed yet sadly)

regulus hadn’t even opened the package

they’re flirting they’re flirting they’re flirting

they need to kiss so badly please

chapter 9

oh regulus

the Great British Brew-Off

dorlene ?!

“I know that Evan thinks you’re having a secret, torrid affair with Barty,”

dorcas pov ahhhh

DORCAS TELLING BARTY SHE THINKS EVAN HAS A CRUSH ON REGULUS 😭😭

dorcas is plotting

rosekiller rosekiller rosekiller

james pov

“Sirius is humming happily, completely unbothered that his knee is dangerously close to killing James’ hopes of being a father one day.”

has sirius finally realized he likes remus

chapter 10

“But in this moment, Regulus hates James Potter because he’s somehow gone and made Regulus believe that perhaps he’d show up.” GASP

come on james go get your man

james pov

snivellus eugh

i’m sorry i hate the word growl

gasp

did he just sectumsempra sirius

the way the last thing sirius said was that remus is beautiful

WAS JAMES ABOUT TO CRUCIO SEVERUS OH

“I mean. Regulus did see James shirtless and covered in blood less than twenty-four hours ago. It was way hotter than it should have been.”

oh snapes cauldron exploded did it 

platonic moonwater save me platonic moonwater

chapter 11

need james and regulus to get together

edward ?! what

omg dorcas is moving in with barty james and reg

OH ?!

i gasped the plot twist omg

omg james is sneaking out is he going to find regulus ahhhh

oh wait no he’s going to sirius

prongsfoot friendship ❤️‍🩹

remus pov ahhhh

duel

oooh he’s in

ohhh it’s sirius turn im nervy

lily and remus both know james has a crush on a boy i see

pan james save me pan james 

“Fuck Sirius Black. Honestly. Also, yes. Fuck Sirius Black. He wishes.” 

they’re all in the orderrrr ahhhh

regulus pov

ooooh james is here

they’re falling off the roof together 😭

rubik’s cube hello

chapter 12

james is so determined

he’s asking mary and lily bc he knows they’re muggle born wait that’s actually so cute

oh no does lily have a crush on james 

remus tweaking when he sees sirius will never not be funny

“People are going to swoon at my feet.” they already are sirius, they already are

regulus pov

they’re on the roof again

HUH ???

ooh match time

gryffindor won

ooooh dorcas is here

i want james to leave and go find regulus

wolfstarrrr

oooooh he’s leaving i manifested this

bye regulus is being mean

omg they’re going flying together i can’t just stop reading here can i

chapter 13 

this needs to be my last chapter today

omg

LAVENDER I KNEW IT DID I NOT SAY THIS WOULD COME UP LATER

guys i’m freaking out rn (pos)

REGULUS JUST DROPPED JAMES OFF OF THE BROOM

omg he caught him

KISS

regulus talking to minnie jump scare

regulus just casually researching tom riddle

dorlene dorlene dorlene dorlene dorlene dorlene dorlene dorlene

rghhhhh

[the-fiction-witch]

Ice Cold

Media Love Actually Age Up

Character Sam

Couple Sam X Reader

Rating Sweet + Sad

Concept Second thoughts

I grabbed my case from the taxi jumping out onto the street, I paid and thanked him before I hurried myself inside the tall hotel, I passed the desk without a word and went to the lift pressing the button for the required floor. Once it stopped I got out and headed down the corridor until I found the door I'd been looking for knocking a good few times. I waited a little while before knocking again and on the second round the door opened.

He was leaning on the door, eyes barely open, hair a mess, wearing a old band tee and his blue shorts. 

"Y/n!" He smiled excitedly pulling me into the tightest hug and dragging me inside the hotel room "ummmm my second favorite girl in the whole wide world" 

"My god Sam how hungover are you?" 

"I'm not hungover" he says heading into the room and I was taken back by the utter madness of the once cute hotel room now a messy upturned hell hole "if anything… I'm kinda, still drunk" he says taking a beer from the table 

"Have housekeeping been by?"

"No,"

"Oh thank god. I don't want to even imagine the meltdown if Joanna got the bill for all this"

"It's my wedding to you know" he pouts collapsing on the sofa 

"Okay," I smiled setting my things down going over and wrapping my arms around his neck and shoulders "come on, what's going on in that blonde noggin?" 

"Im getting married tomorrow"

"Yes you are. It's perfectly natural to get cold feet Sam. Especially given your kinda drunk" 

"Just…it's nothing"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, come on we have stuff to do" 

"Alright" I went and grabbed my case and began working, I had been best friends with Sam for forever really, since we were tiny little kids mostly thought the school band where of course he plaid drums and I plaid piano so we often were stuck up the back next to each other on the large unmovable bits of equipment we became very fast friends and had been close forever, I even had a crush on him at one point but he had always been head over heels for Joanna for as long as I could remember and after reconnecting a few months ago they were getting married. It had all been a bit rushed but it was still really sweet. Even if Joanna had been a bit controlling of things, kinda bridezilla is not gonna lie. But the wedding was on a tight budget so to minimize costs the girls were doing there own hair and make up all of them being very skilled in such things and as I did a lot of hair and make up stuff for my photography job she asked if I could be incharge of making the boys look presentable which of course I agreed. So I was here today to prep the room and do a base sort of Sam ready to do him and his groomsmen tomorrow morning. 

"You excited?" I asked as I sat working in his nails 

"Course. Just… nervy is all"

"It's your wedding Sam it's fine to be nervous" I laughed "I take it the bachelor party was fun?" I asked glancing are the hotel room

"Ah. No. you know the rules. No penis no info. Bachelor party for boys only"

"Sam, I'm basically a boy."

"You don't have a penis"

"I have one in my bag then can I qualify?" 

"What Joanna ask you to check up on me?"

"No, I'm just curious"

"It was fun. I had a good time"

"That's good, that's the whole point"

"There weren't strippers."

"Ohh?"

"She'll ask you. I know she will. She was very clear about it"

"Okay, no strippers" I laughed "but…?"

"But?"

"But?"

"No. There wasn't. We most just got really really drunk and plaid video games"

"Awww sounds lovely. So long as you had fun" 

"Oww" he complained

"Ohh don't be a baby Sammy. If you took care of your hands and nails I wouldn't have to put so much work in"

"I don't think I need all this honestly. Just like a brush through my hair tomorrow seems like enough" he says 

"It's your wedding Sam she wants you to look nice for all your pictures and things,"

"What wedding photo is gonna show my nails?"

"I don't know… shot of the wedding rings?"

"Good point"

"plus I wouldn't wanna be holding hands with these callus meat claws for an hour in this state, you need lotion. And to clean all the dirt out" 

"That's fair. Plus it makes her happy to think I did it all"

"Exactly. Anything to make her less angry right now"

"Tell me about it" he sighed "still. It's nice just getting the time to hang with you"

"Yeah it's nice to just be with you too Sam" I smiled we continued in doing various things all to prep him for the wedding tomorrow I made sure his suit was all together and steamed, his hands sorted, his shoes shined, his hang over slowly being cured ready for a six am start tomorrow. he currently sat on his third hangover cure smoothie being misted by the little Steam machine in the middle of the skincare treatment I had done for him to clean his skin up for tomorrow 

"Why is this on such a budget?"

"Joanna doesn't like spending alot of money"

"I guess. Maybe stuff wouldn't be so pricey if you waited a little longer"

"I know but she wants it all over with so we can get on with life you know"

"No other reason?" I asked 

"...no. at least she hasn't told me if there is" he explained finishing up his face and we got sat down watching TV with a drink and some pizza

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I a bad person."

"For what?' 

"For second guessing? The night before my wedding? Shouldn't I be giddy and happy and barely able to contain my excitement and yet… I'm not. Is that bad?"

"No sam, it's fine everyone gets nervous, has second thoughts it's a big thing. It's okay your not a bad person for having doubts" 

"I don't know, everyone says cold feet is normal but… this is like ice cold."

"Do you love Joanna?"

"Yes"

"Do you wanna be her?"

"Yes"

"Do you wanna grow old and have bouncy little babies with her?"

"Yeah"

"Then you're fine." 

"Thanks y/n. I'm happy I'm here with you. Out of everyone"

"Really?"

"Of course you're my best friend." He says "I worry I won't really get to see you much after this"

"We'll still see each other"

"Joanna doesn't like you."

"... I mean. I kinda assumed that"

"Like really really doesn't like you. I had to fight to have you asked to do this for me. She didn't even want you to be invited"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. She really doesn't like you" 

"I mean I thought she kinda wasn't a fan. Kinda sounds like she hates me"

"I did have to tell her a little white lie"

"Oh?"

"She didn't want you to stay here tonight. So she thinks you got another room."

"Ooooh your gonna be in trouble"

"I wasn't exactly planning on telling her. She already doesn't like you. She's stressed just… not tell her"

"Alright, our little secret."

"Our little secret" he smiled as we finished up our food "can I tell you a secret?"

"Go for it Sam" 

"I used to have a crush on you" 

I choked on my drink a little"what?"

"I did. When Joanna left again. I couldn't help thinking how much I liked you and I thought about asking you out, alot. All the way till I met up with Joanna again "

"Really?"

"Really."

"That's really sweet Sam. You wanna know a secret?"

"Yeah"

"I had a crush on you too"

"You did?"

"Yeah I kinda just assumed you were always just to love sick over Joanna to pay me any attention" 

"So all that time you and I could have?"

"We could. Another life I suppose"

"Yeah… another life"

"Come on let's get to bed early start tomorrow"

"Yeah you okay on the single?"

"I'll be fine. Sleep tight Sam"

"You too y/n" 

I woke to my alarm and immediate got to work setting up a station at the vanity Sam took a little while longer but eventually forced himself up "good morning Mr groom"

"Oh my god. I am… so hung over."

"Hang over smoothie?" 

"God yes. I'm gonna… go and sit in the shower a while"

"Sit in the shower?" I laughed pouring him another hangover smoothie as I had already made a batch ready for this morning

"Yeah in just gonna sit in the bottom and just kinda… exist." He says taking the drink

"Alright, don't be too long the boys will be here soon" I told him as he headed to the bathroom for his shower, soon enough one by one groomsmen arrived all of whom I knew of course, I did hair and some minimal photo ready makeup all while the guys laughed and joked getting themselves ready for the wedding. I was getting a little worried Sam had been in the bathroom all morning and it had gotten to the point now we had to get him out or we'd be late. 

"Sam? You okay?" I asked tapping on the door 

"Yeah, sorry I'm just I'm kinda struggling"

"Sam it's okay to be nervous, just come on out okay and we'll get you sorted" 

The door opened a tiny bit and he grabbed my arm pulling me in the bathroom

"Whoa! What the heck Sam" I complained as he relocked the door 

"Im sorry I'm sorry I just -"

"Sam. Tell me. What is going on?" I asked as I really looked at him dressed into clean PJ's from his shower his hair still wet tears staining his face

"I… I don't know if I can do this"

"What?"

"I know everyone's worked so hard. And we've put so much money and time but I just… I don't know if I can do it."

"Why not?"

"... because. Look I've been up all night, I couldn't sleep after last night. I feel awful I should be happy and excited I should have been too excited to sleep thinking about my wedding but - all I thought about all night. Was you. I spend all night tossing and turning thinking about what might have been." He says 

"Sam, that's sweet but it's your wedding today"

"I know I know. But I can't help it. I'm so sorry I don't mean to put you in a situation like this I just… I didn't realize that my feelings never really went away"

"Aww Sam. I don't think mine did either. But you're engaged to Joanna and you're marrying her today. We just have to move on and try not to think about the other life"

"The life we could have had. Together."

"Exactly. Come on or we'll be late" I told him going to unlock the door but he stopped me 

"Y/n wait" he says pulling my arm close and before I could say a word he leant down and kissed me I blushed hard and even teared up as I felt this firework of passion inside me I'd never had a kiss like that before when we pulled away I never wanted to leave his arms and I know he didn't want me too either "fuck."

"What?"

"I really hoped that would make me feel better. I think I just made it so much worse."

"Come on let's just uhhh get you ready" quickly I left the bathroom and took a moment to compose myself he followed suit greeting his groomsmen and taking his seat I struggled a little not to tear up as I for him ready finally giving his jacket a brush and his hair a fix as the boys left to get the car "how are you feeling?"

"Conflicted."

"It'll be okay you just, have to wait. I'm sure the moment you see her in her wedding dress everything will become clear"

"Okay," he nods trying to lean in for another kiss but I stopped him

"I don't think that's the best idea."

"Do you want to kiss me?"

"...I do"

"Then it's a good idea" he smiled giving my lips a final kiss softly and sweetly stroking my cheek as we kissed "I wish I'd done that years ago" 

"You should go Sam"

"Yeah. I need to go" he nods forcing himself away

I pushed my feelings down and just got on with things as usual taking my seat to watch the wedding I wanted to check up on him but I didn't want to put anymore doubt in his mind, the wedding began quickly and I noticed Sam looking at me I did my best not to look back at him when Joanna arrived she did look beautiful and Sam looked so happy to see her, I felt relieved but disappointed at the same time. It all went on as any wedding would 

"do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I don't."

Silence ran across the whole wedding as everyone sat in a moment of shock 

"Excuse me?" 

"I don't. I do not"

"Joanna? What are you talking about?" Sam asked 

"I'm sorry Sam. I didn't want to do it this way but - I can't marry you. It's not that I don't care for you, I care so much for you but we were childhood sweethearts and were not children anymore you're not the boy I fell in love with and I'm not the girl you loved either we've changed, we've grown and now… all that connects us is being childhood sweethearts. I thought it would all come back, that it would come back and be just like it was but I was being stupid. I can't marry you. You'll always be my first love, my first kiss but you can't be my husband. And… I've been seeing like for the last few months romantically" she explained oh my god I knew something was up about that, nowone goes to the gym together that much 

"You- you were cheating in me? All this time…"

"Yes, I'm sorry Sam"

"Uhhhh okay. If uhhh if you think that's best." He nods "what uhh what do we do then?"

"Well we've paid for everything might as well just have a party?"

"Yeah uhh okay. Sounds good" he nods clearly completely broken but what else do you say to that. And just like that it was over the wedding cleared out into the reception space everyone drinking and eating given everything was already there and had been booked and paid for eventually I found Sam drinking on the patio steps 

"You okay?" I asked sitting beside him

"Fine. Just got stood up at my own wedding" he says drinking some more "makes sense why she wanted a quick And cheap wedding. She wanted it over with hopes it would kick start our relationship again. When she didn't feel fireworks walking down the aisle she called it off."

"I mean, is it really a bad thing? I know it hurts but you were so conflicted about it second guessing for days. I know it hurts now but maybe it's for the best" 

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I was just being stupid. Who really marries first girl they get a crush on and expect them to actually have a healthy marriage" he says "I knew something was up with her and luke I just didn't wanna be a dick. Maybe I'd I had this whole mess could have been avoided"

"It's okay, none of us knew"

"sorry I'm just -"

"It's okay, perfectly normal to be emotional" I told him "come here" I cooed pulling him to lean on my shoulder

"Thanks y/n"

"Your welcome." I smiled kissing his head letting him whine and cry as much as he needed too "hey it's okay, come on. You wanna dance?" He shook his head "you wanna go get another drink?" He shook his head "you wanna go get some pizza and drop red wine down Joanna's white dress?" He nods "okay let's go get some pizza and drop a big glass of red wine down her dress" I smiled helping him up

"Thanks y/n"

"Your welcome,"

"Y/n"

"Yes Sam?"

He simply pulled me close and gently kissed me I smiled and kissed him back when he pulled away I saw him smile again "do you wanna come over and watch a movie together tomorrow?"

"What like a date?"

"Very much a date"

"I'd love too" I smiled giving him a kiss "come on before all the pizzas gone" 

[shameboree]

I still think you should make a patreon. Even if inconsistent I'd pay to see ur filth but also just doodles n shit

THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT BOO unfortunately i get kinda Nervy abt it tho. like if i draw one (1) horny thing that doesnt look like it came w a 7 page legal explicitly and meticulously outlined consent contract attached im gonna get doxxed for being a Rape Apologist so im forced to activate my trap card and out my Traumas so im Allowed To Be Horny but then they reverse uno my ass and actually i am the Bad and Wrong kind of victim so theyre gonna send all my slutty anime cummies to my boss saying im probs also a pedo just for good measure and its gonna be fuckin awkward as shit because my boss touches grass and is just gonna be like ..?? okay you draw sexy cartoons?? anyway we are critically understaffed and patients are dying lol!!

already i am constantly in agonies over any of my silly little mlb draws being a degree too Spicy and someone going YEAH kels is a fucking DANGER TO SOCIETY and should have their license revoked IMMEDIATELY. can you imagine someone sending my fanart to the Board. first of all they would throw it out but do you know how utterly mortifying it would be to stand in front of them and defend my license over absolutely Vile accusations but every piece of evidence is marinette and adrien kissing, and also probably bad vibes the au?!? legitimately i would rather empty someones clot filled cbi bag over my head that would be beyond embarrassing.

anyway the internet is insane. id love to share my Drawings Of Perverse Nature but lj is Dead and with it the era of locked sexy art dumps to a vetted audience of fellow perverts

[luveline]

Hi Jade, just wanted to say, that it's totally okay to feel that way, It really is. You went through something that sucked so fucking much and you shouldn't feel angry at yourself for feeling what you are feeling. Honestly, if someone did the same to me I would feel the same.

I hope that stupid fucking idiots don't keep you away from your writing, because you are so talented it hurts🤭. Please take your time, the real ones will wait for you to return, whenever you feel better.

Love uuuu, hope you'll feel better.💕💕💕💕🥰🥰

There's part of me that knows it sucked and sucks and will suck for a while and then there's part of me that's like — okay babe you can simmer down now, it wasn't too bad. I think I have this dual awareness of it like – yeah that hurt your feelings but if you wanted to whine about it you should've done it at the time and — I don't know. I think I'm so sick of constantly trying to calculate how people will react to my feelings like . I don't wanna be a cunt about stuff and have it come back to bite me. Luveline's that egotistical freak who couldn't cope with a mutual accidentally paraphrasing her fic (though I'd like to reaffirm that this is not the sole reason I'm having a nervy b)

I'm sick of myself as im answering this ask right now cos I'm thinking, someone might take this the wrong way, someone's gonna say you're being disingenuous, or a wussy, I am so so terrified of being a bad sport or a bitch that it's like I have this constant babble in the back of my head telling me to stop talking

Stupid fucking idiots — I love you so much for your ask but I just wanna take a second to say I can't agree with this part 'cause it was an accident, you know? Unless you mean the mean anons then yes I'm seconding it and people are idiots. Which isn't to say 'mean anons' are without credibility (no I'm not saying you should send people hate) I'm sure I've received critique that was sorely needed at that point and nobody is above review but also sometimes people are fucking idiots (revisting my earlier point — I'm very tired of myself because as I'm writing this I'm worrying about all the ways someone might take it out of context). People suck sooooo much but that's because they're people, we are all idiots and none of us are infallible, but people r also great too like you, who took the time to send me something encouraging and sweet and empathetic when you absolutely didn't have to, so thank you

[wndaswife]

maybe ask for her favorite snacks? like make a way to do special stuff like snacks, a blanket— or better yet.. FORGET the blanket and offer her your jacket 😁 like do check ins be like ‘you okay’ ‘you need me to get you anything’ every so often and do a soft smile at her.. NOT THE PLATONIC ONE! the one where you LOOK at her and use your eyes to smile as well as your mouth. SLIGHT physical contact like bump shoulders but nothing TOO obvious until you can gauge her reaction 🫡

AHHHHHHH oh this makes me so nervy

i think im gonna bake something for her and im gonna ask her what kind of stuff she likes so i can make her something :) im gonna package it all cute and stuff

i just worry also that i get too shy and i end up seeming disinterested… oh somehow i gotta hype myself up before i go T_T

ahhh 😣😣 well the good thing IS UMMM her saying she would visit my place while im at school means she envisions being close with me after the summer and stuff!! so that’s good

[lovedetlost]

so im a virgin and im going to have sex this weekend with my bf for the first time. he doesnt know im a virgin (i just told him i dont have a lot of experience). what do you think is the right position to make it the easiest? im so nervy but i just want to get it over with.

babyyyyy. honestly i’m privileged. i feel like i lost mine in a very similar way. like i knew it was going to happen, he didn’t know i was losing my virginity, i just told him i hadn’t had a lot of P-in-V sex before and so not to expect anything overly experienced. i blew him on the first date and nothing about my energy is virginal, nor did i feel virginal because i’d been doing everything but for a while now. and honestly it just felt like the time?

we messaged prior to me going over there and he said he was going to buy lube, did i want anything, will anything specific make me feel comfortable? i asked for peanut mnms and condoms, making it very clear i wasn’t on the pill. we’d already discussed our kinks and what we like etc. when finding out i wasn’t super experienced he was like oh i’ll be gentle, to which i said that’s not what i’m asking for, that’s not what i’m into, just be mindful of it. don’t be expecting the greatest reverse cowgirl of your life, i plan on pillow princessing it the whole time haha.

ANYWAYS!! MY KEY PIECES OF ADVICE

1. talk about what does it for you. daddy kink, dom/sun dynamics, or even basic neck kissing, ear sucking, pet names. peoples tastes are way too diverse to not give a helping hand.

2. talk about what doesn’t do it for you. i told him i’m not a clit girl. if he spends too much time down there i’ll get stressed and hate it. i also suck at blow jobs and have vomitted on a man before when he went to deep. that is information that should be shared.

3. MOST IMPORTANT! work up to it. flirt beforehand. make out. get each other good and horny!! the perk of knowing each others kinks is you can play to their specific wants. wanting it and having zero stress makes it so much better. he made me! ask for it! beg for it! it was so hot hahaha. genuinely, i was so wet that it kept falling out with the condoms on. and not for lack of size. like i had heard such horror stories but i was so comfortable and so turned on that it was pure good for me.

4. OKAY THIS IS ACTUALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT! always feel safe. always feel comfortable. don’t do anything you don’t want to do. take a time out if you need to. COMMUNICATE. give and ask for consent. check in with each other. tell them when you like it. give a feedback sandwich if you don’t - okay you’re so good and so talented but that’s the wrong hole but keep up the good work! after each time (if you go more than once) say what worked for you. make him a cuppa and tell him what turned you on.

and baby have fun. don’t expect to be good at it. i’m still shit. experiment with positions, missionary is not at all boring and is for me the most effective. from behind often hits deeper, so that can be good or bad. an orgasm pre-penis insertion can be useful, but not always attainable. dirty talk is what makes my life (and hole) easier. LUBE IS YOUR FRIEND! talking and laughing is good! different angles will hit different spots, and i’m yet to be able to give good directions. i hate being on top because it’s so much work but it’s always nice to go up for a second to give them a good view. don’t be afraid of the noises you and your body makes. moan in his ear. tell him he’s good, and you like it when he specifically does X.

i’m here for you. i love you.

AND APPARENTLY SQUEEZING YOUR THUMBS CAN HELP WITH ORAL (doesn’t help me but a good tip)

[bazpitch]

okay second to last exam down. when i was taking it (stats) i was thinking "this is my last stem exam" to motivate myself bc i forgot the other exam is also for a stem class because it's been SO horrible and i haven't learned a single thing all semester. not that humanities classes are easy or anything but i genuinely forgot that this was a programming class because i have not learned a single programming concept that is actually like. meaningful from that class. studying for it should be quite a bit simpler though. i just have to read the two books we read this semester and retake all of the quizzes to get bonus points. my stats teacher randomly went on canvas and took the late penalties off of some quizzes i decided to take late LOL so maybe i have a shot at an ab ? 😵‍💫 but then retaking those quizzes is another thing for me to worry about ;-; the exam grade hasn't been posted so im. nervy. to say the least. i am going to shower and go to the library to get the textbook that i don't have for that class bc i requested it since the exam is open book LMFAO. it's 10:30 rn tho and we're in the middle of a blizzard 😭😭😭

[tyonfs]

🎀’s pre ramadan update finally!!

okay lol i cant really remember what i talked abt in my last one but first of all ramadan mubarak!!! to preface this very very long update how are you alice? i saw u said that u fucked things up with that talking stage (?) i think that’s what u said IF HES A GOOD GUY GO FOR IT!!!

you probs can’t remember but i think i did mention things about my friend group. okay so basically im just gonna name drop it does nawt matter but my friend emily, we’ve been friends since high school and she goes to a college an hour ish away and lemme tell u she has been so fake. she got a boyfriend and she likes to act very differently when she has one she basically talks down to me because i have a bad track record so there’s that. because of that i’ve grown closer to my other friends from our same high school who go to my college and we’re really close!! one of the girls invited me to her sorority formal and even got me a date! overall im really excited 🙈 i wish we were insta moots or smth so i could show u but nonetheless. now with that friend group it was originally a trio BUT this one girl, gabbi, we’ve been friends since 1st grade and she felt like she was excluded so we became closer and the other girls basically said i was replacing them and it was this whole thing but gabbi isn’t friends with them anymore but they’re cool with me? gabbi doesn’t care bc she’s mature and i love that girly for that. so much!

ughhh relationships. literally nothing i’ve officially gotten the ick from arsal FINALLY GUYS IM OVER HIM LIKE ACTUALLY OVER HIM. so amazing. i feel a lil lighter and a lot better abt myself. i’m about to buy a whole new wardrobe for JUNIOR YEAR. omg literally the time went by so quick i just told u how nervous i was to be a sophomore and now im one step closer to graduating and getting my degree. NERVY.

besides that school is going great as always we been knew im literally a smarty pants. i’ve been into like sza and frank ocean lately, my summer artists luv em SPEAKING OF SUMMER im so excited 🙈🙈🙈 so so excited. in other words i listened to enhas new ish album IT WAS REALLY GOOD. i’m upset i didn’t listen earlier. honestly the only grp i can some how care about is enha because lesserafim keeps on supporting isnotreal and it’s really tiring.

because of the war, i see how palestinians are still connected with their faith and still praying all though all that’s happening and alhamdulillah although i had not strayed too far from my faith, i feel more connected especially ramadan starting. i’ve been praying more regularly and even starting the quran again. inshallah this ramadan will be good!

i’ve been reading ur smau on jayflrt and it’s GOOOOOD luv it so far. how was that spontaneous trip!! give me an update alice i miss u!!! - 🎀

OMG i can't remember if i wished you in my other blog but ramadan mubarak ml !! 💘💘 OH SHIT yes i did fuck things up.... i think hes a good guy but HMM i think we both have different goals for what our first date was gonna be so im on the fence :p

i do rememeber this yes !! this is the one from the last ask i answered right?? you can send your ig if you're comfortable and i'll follow (and delete the ask obv so i don't expose your ig to everyone HAHAH) 🥰🥰 but your other friends from high school sound so much better than emily and i hope things go well with the sorority formal guy!! omg idk why they would claim that you were replacing them :// but i'm glad gabbi took it well and is mature about the distancing !! that's so much easier for everyone involved :')

YESSS CONGRATS ON BEING FREE 🥳 no seriously it feels like divine intervention when you finally get the ick from a guy you like that turns you off him for good LOL also GOOD LUCK FOR JUNIOR YEAR you're so close to being one degree hotter <33 enjoy the last two years of undergrad it'll fly by so fast :') AND I FULLY SUPPORT THE NEW WARDROBE YOU SHOULD BALL OUT

omg i do remember you saying you're into enha more than nct now ! but orange blood was SOOO good 😩 wait i need to know your biases and when you got into them too 🙏 are you going to their concert too?? i went to the fate tour so i don't think i'm gonna commit to fate+ unfortunately 🤧 and omg yeah i keep seeing lesserafim with starbucks like ?? and especially yunjin too,, i wouldn't have expected it from her of all people :/ and the whole argument like "oh starbucks isn't on the bds list" like okay yeah well two of their major shareholders literally make the weapons that the us military is providing for israel and at the end of the day it's just a matter of morals too

ahh i hope you have a wonderful ramadan ml!! i hope it'll be a good month for you to be in tune with your faith more ! also i'm so glad you like the jay smau so far !! 🥹🥹 it's a little intimidating to write but i enjoy it HAHAH also the trip was really fun !! i picked up my friends and we drove to our other friend's place to spend the weekend there and we went to the beach and went clubbing :') tbh the weather wasn't the best unfortunately but we did the best we could 🥲 also i drank so much that i'm swearing off alcohol for like 3 months 😭