#i’m like genuinely impressed with how much the tories have managed to fuck up in so many different ways

[fingertipsmp3]

This is the spiritual successor to Four Seasons Landscaping. To me.

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 22

With everything that’s been going on lately, and in this week alone, it was nice to update this story. I forgot where I originally wanted to take this chapter but I’m glad I did because - well, you’ll see 😉

~~~~~~~~

“It’s the little things that you do baby that make me so damn crazy.”

---

I stood underneath the warm water of my shower and let my tense muscles relax. After my vent session with Vic and him asking me out, I had some more things to be stressed about. One of them being why he asked me out in the first place. I ended up texting him during class after lunch, asking him to clarify some things. Really, I just wanted to know how he figured I wasn’t heterosexual. Turns out he didn’t know; he just took a shot in the dark and asked me out.

Once that was out in the open, I had more time to stress about the date itself. What would I wear? I wanted to impress Vic, but I didn’t want to look like I tried too hard. Where would we be eating? I was thinking it would be a sit-down restaurant, meaning I’d have to look over a menu and not take forever picking something. But wait, would we be going to a movie? That’s a typical high school date, right? Dinner and a movie?

I stepped deeper underneath the flow of water pouring down on me. I took some deep breaths and tried to ground myself. All of these thoughts were making me more anxious than I should’ve been. Curse my brain for overthinking everything.

After finally getting my heartrate back to normal, I rinsed and left the shower. It was time to get ready for my date.

I smiled to myself as I walked into my bedroom. I was going on a date. With Vic freaking Fuentes. When I thought about it, I had to chuckle. I had no idea our relationship would go down this road from where we started, but life is funny in that way.

I put on my underwear all the while thinking about what to wear for this date. Since I didn’t know where we were going, I decided to go simple enough to make it look like I wasn’t obsessing, but dressy enough to fit in anywhere. I opened my closet, looked for a moment, then decided to go with my ripped black skinny jeans, a fitted white V-neck, and my black leather jacket. I quickly slipped on my black Vans before going back into the bathroom to fix my hair.

By the time I was ready, the clock read 6:48. I had about twelve minutes before Vic would be at my door.

I sat on my bed and unlocked my phone. I went to my messages and replied to the group chat that Lynn forced me to be in. I wasn’t a big fan of group chats, mostly because I don’t usually say anything, but the chat seemed pretty chill so far, so I didn’t complain.

You’re really going on a date with Vic???? Lynn texted. That message was followed by various emojis from Tyler, Savannah, and Tori.

Yes I replied with a chuckle, I’m really going out with him. He should be here soon

Where are you guys going? What are you wearing to it? Are you gonna put out???

I sent the eye roll emoji to Tyler as my response. I was never thinking about doing anything with Vic, and I didn’t want to think about it. This was the first date; I’m not one to rush into things.

I texted the group that it was about time for me to go, and that I would let them know if anything happened. They wished me luck before I locked my phone and slipped it into my pocket.

I skipped down the stairs and looked at the clock on the wall. 6:55, it read. I smiled to myself. Vic was probably on his way. He seemed like the punctual type, so he would most likely be at my door in the next two or three minutes. I flicked off the light in the foyer after I grabbed my keys and walked onto the porch. After locking the front door, I sat on the porch swing.

My neighborhood was in a nice suburban area. The sun was starting to set, painting the sky with soft pinks, oranges, and fading blue. The streets were quiet so it was easy to hear the birds chirping in the background. It was the perfect scene to reflect on everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.

In all this time, I had had a sleepless night, spilled my guts, and been asked out on a date by the person I spilled my guts to. Strangely, I felt calmer when I ran through the events in my head. Reflecting on it all helped put things in perspective.

And I decided that my life was a fucking mess.

I smiled when I saw the familiar silver sedan pull into my driveway. Yes, my life was a mess, but this was one of the good moments.

I stood from my seat and approached the car as Vic was walking out.

“Hey you,” he said with a smile. It took everything in me not to blush.

“Hey,” I managed to whisper out. The sight before me took my breath away. I usually saw Vic in khaki shorts and band T-shirts, but he cleaned himself up for our date.

He was wearing black skinny jeans with a fitted white T-shirt and a green jacket. He had on Vans as well, but his were black and white unlike my solid black ones. He had on a black snapback turned backwards against his wavy hair. I couldn’t help but chuckle when I had finally taken all of him in.

“What?” he asked skeptically.

I shook my head. “We’re dressed alike.” Vic looked me up and down and laughed.

“Man, we’re gonna be one of those couples, aren’t we?”

“Couple? This is our first date.”

It was Vic’s turn to chuckle. “You don’t think you’ll end up being my boyfriend?”

I blushed. That was not a question I was anticipating, or one that I had thought about. Did I want to be Vic’s boyfriend? Up until a few hours ago I didn’t know Vic was into boys, and now he’s talking about putting a label on us. It felt like he was moving this too fast.

“Listen…,” I started. He cut me off with a smile.

“Don’t stress about it, Quinn. I could pretty much read your thoughts on your face after I said that. Let’s just go on this date.”

I smiled back at him, grateful to put that conversation behind us. We walked to the car in silence, and after putting on our seatbelts, we were off to our destination.

Vic hadn’t told me where we were headed, and I didn’t feel the need to ask. I figured that if he wanted me to know then he would’ve told me. Since he didn’t that meant it was a surprise, and I like surprises.

I sat back and looked at the road ahead of us. The sun was still setting steadily and the road was almost free of other cars. It was pretty peaceful out. Vic was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the song playing in the car. It was a band I didn’t recognize, but I liked the song. I found myself nodding along as I stared out the window beside me.

After about fifteen minutes of driving we reached our destination. “We’re here,” was all Vic said before he turned off the car and got out.

I was confused. We were in a parking lot, but there wasn’t anything around us. I assumed that he would be taking us to a restaurant, not the middle of nowhere.

“Uh, where is ‘here’ exactly?” I asked when I exited the car.

Vic smiled and popped the trunk. I walked over to see him pull out a picnic blanket with a basket.

“What’s all that?”

His smile never faltered. “Well I was thinking all day about what kind of date you’d appreciate and seeing how today you really responded to us just talking away from everyone, I thought you’d like this.” A big, genuine smile creeped onto my face.

“You really wanted to impress me, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess I did. Are you impressed?”

I chewed on my lip, trying to suppress my stupid grin. “Yes,” was all I said. Apparently that was enough for him.

He walked ahead of me to a picnic area, then walked past that. I followed closely behind so I wouldn’t lose him as it was getting darker. Vic led us through the trees to a clearing. For the second time that day, we were in front of a small river.

“How do you keep finding these places?” I asked. Vic only chuckled. He set down the blanket on some soft grass and opened the picnic basket. He took out some pillows and various Tupperware of food. Once I saw that everything was set up, I sat next to him on the blanket.

“It’s not much, but I hope you like it,” he said timidly. I looked at the food in front of us. Vic had packed some assorted fruits, some vegetables with ranch, what appeared to be chicken salad sandwiches, and bottles of apple and orange juice.

“This all looks great,” I said with a reassuring smile. It did look really good. It was simple, but I could tell that a lot of thought went into the preparation. That made my heart beat a little stronger.

We sat, ate, and talked while the sun slowly fell below the horizon. Once it was gone, Vic pulled an electric lantern from the basket and switched it on. I didn’t bother saying anything about it.

We ended our dinner with sharing some tres leche that his mom had made. I moaned as soon as the cake hit my tongue.

“So…you like it?” Vic asked with a smug smile on his face. I stuck my tongue out at him. “Careful Quinn, or I’ll do something else to that tongue.”

My jaw dropped open and I’m sure my cheeks turned scarlet. “W-wh-what? Who?” I stuttered. Vic held my gaze with passion in his eyes. I wanted to look away so desperately, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

He had me and I think he knew it too.

“It’s getting colder,” he finally spoke. “Wanna get out of here?” I could only nod.

We packed up everything and carefully made our way back to the car. Vic put all the items used on our date back in the trunk. In the meantime, I was in the passenger’s seat wondering why the hell he said what he said to me.

There was no doubt in my mind that Vic had been with other people. He had told me that he was still a virgin, but that didn’t exclude other types of pleasure. What all had Vic done with other boys? Or girls? He was obviously more experienced than I was just based on what he said to me. Or was it that he was more confident? Well, most of the world was more confident compared to me.

I was a virgin. Well, I was a virgin who had never been kissed. Shocker, I know. The opportunity just never presented itself. I didn’t want my first kiss to be under some bleachers or because of a game of spin the bottle. I wanted a kiss with someone I cared about; I wanted to be with someone I had real feelings for. If that meant that I wouldn’t get kissed until college then…I’d probably go for the game of spin the bottle.

Vic got into the car and drove us to my house without a word. I was a bit relieved considering that I had gone over so many scenarios and questions in my head in such a short amount of time. It would’ve been hard for me to speak a coherent sentence.

Fifteen minutes of silence led us back to my place. I didn’t want to be rude so I spoke before I opened the car door. “Thanks for the date.” Then I mentally facepalmed at such a stupid statement.

Vic seemed to have found some humor in it because his eyes twinkled. “There’s no need to be so awkward, Quinn,” he said after a sigh.

“Well how should I be?” I asked.

He bit his bottom lip. “I’m not sure.” I wasn’t sure I heard him; my attention was on his lip and how I wanted to be the one biting it.

No, bad Kellin!

“Look,” he spoke, “I’m sorry if what I said earlier made you uncomfortable. I know this is our first date and I shouldn’t have tried to suggest anything that I wasn’t sure you were comfortable with. And I hope that didn’t turn you away from the idea of a second date.”

I stared into his dark brown eyes; I saw nothing but sincerity. He meant every word he just said, and that made me feel a little better about it all.

“No, no you didn’t turn me away from a second date.” His bright smile reached his eyes and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Cool,” he simply said, obviously trying to regain his composure. I quietly giggled. “Shut up.”

“Make me,” I challenged. I saw his eyes flick down to my lips before resting on my eyes again. He bit his lip once again. It was obvious that he had the same thoughts in his head that I had in mine. We wanted to pounce on each other in this car.

“It’s pretty late.” I nodded in response. “Maybe you should go inside.”

“Trying to get rid of me already?” I asked.

“Trust me, that’s the last thing I wanna do. I just don’t want you to do something in the heat of the moment that you’ll regret.” I cocked an eyebrow in confusion. What would I possibly regret? “Besides, this is our first date. Gotta keep you interested.”

But I already was.

I would never say that, so I just nodded. “Alright, well I guess this is goodnight.”

Vic smiled. “Yeah, goodnight KQ. This was fun.”

“It was. You’re not all bad, Fuentes.”

“I’m a lot of things. Hopefully you’ll get to see some of them.”

I blinked repeatedly. What the hell did that mean? Before I could ask, he spoke.

“I’ll text you later tonight. Thanks for a great date.” He took my hand in his and squeezed it. I glanced down at our hands then looked at his face that held such a warm smile that my heart melted.

I returned the smile. “You’d better text me.” Reluctantly, I slid my hand from his and opened my door. I waved to him from outside the car before walking to my house. Vic didn’t leave until I had closed the front door and turned on the lights.

I quietly went into the living room and flopped onto the couch. I sighed as I thought about the last two and a half hours. The conversation that was amazing, the scenery that was breathtaking, and the man who made my heart skip a beat and made me want to think and act with my other brain. The guy who made my palms sweaty and my breathing labored. The guy who would probably do those things in a more physical way if I played my cards right.

I took a breath to regain my composure.

Who knew one date could bring up all these feelings?

[bitchesgetriches]

Hail, Bitch Nation! (I hope you’re warming up to your collective nickname because this humble and retiring blogger certainly enjoys the hell out of it.) We come to you today with an announcement: we, the Bitches, are going on a brief two-week hiatus. A summer vacation, if you will.

State of the Blog, 2017

Since Kitty and I launched Bitches Get Riches in January, we have learned many things.

For one, we’ve learned we really fucking suck at setting goals. By which I mean: we have surpassed all of our blog traffic goals to such a staggeringly laughable extent that we’re kind of worried some Russian computer hacker with a particularly cruel sense of humor is pranking us.

Which is both humbling and ego boosting. Apparently we are really cool and popular. Someone please inform our past teenage selves that this day has finally come.

In the last six months, we’ve received the accolades and support we so richly deserve. We’ve been featured on Rockstar Finance (twice), we’re syndicated on The Financial Diet, and we were interviewed on Bad With Money With Gaby Dunn. And somehow through this all, no one has really noticed that we have no idea what the hell we’re doing. Neat, right?

We’ve also been welcomed with open arms into a community of badass finance bloggers so generous and kind that I’m genuinely concerned we’re being scouted for a cult. Seriously you guys, where do you get off being so—what’s the word?—nice? Supportive? It’s unhealthy. Get help. We expect your hearts to be 40% more hardened and calcified upon our return.

And when we do make our triumphant return, it will be with even more the same amount of bitchy, foul-mouthed, sardonic, juvenile, tasteless, irreverent content about the global economy and personal finance you’ve come to expect from us. Because that is our mission and we take it very fucking seriously.

But fear not, my impressive and independent impalas. We’re not abandoning you forever. Mommy and Mommy are not getting a divorce and none of this is your fault. We just have some very important margarita drinking and sun lounging to do for awhile.

And once we’ve gotten our fill of lazing about on feather pillows, surrounded by toned and tanned cabana boys as they fan us with palm fronds and feed us wine and grapes…

I promise we’ll be back. Here’s how you can keep yourselves occupied in the meantime.

The Bitches Get Riches Summer 2017 Required Reading List

You guys have so much reading to do. There will be a test. It’s pass/fail, so study hard, my darlings.

Blogs

How to Grow the Fuck Up: Literally our Internet Mom. And she can be yours too!

We’re All Poor Here: Frugal minimalism with a dose of #realtalk. We like Matt because he never sugarcoats low income living and he really gets our brand of weird humor.

Feminist Financier: Ok so this is our other Internet Mom and she’s gonna learn you some money management skills through a feminist lens!

Victori Media: We have basically adopted Tori as our baby sister (LISTEN THIS INTERNET FAMILY IS GETTING REAL CROWDED). And I’m pretty sure she knows more about useful business practices than we do.

Half Banked: Desirae is basically the gold standard in personal finance blogging as far as we’re concerned. Plus she’s Canadian. So exotic!

Podcasts

Bad With Money With Gaby Dunn: Listen you guys. Gaby Dunn is the best and we 1000% support her goal of understanding everything about financial stuff while simultaneously smashing the patriarchy.

Throwing Shade: Listen to Erin and Bryan talk about all things ridiculous and you won’t even miss us.

Revisionist History: Malcolm Gladwell is totally stealing our whole complain-about-an-inefficient-or-unjust-thing-and-also-The-Economy-(TM) motif and it’s making me very angry, you guys. And yes, he talks about the bloated money suck that is the American university.

Death, Sex & Money: Anna Sale’s wonderful, eclectic series on social taboos just covered student loans. And guys? It. Was. Incredible. It’s utterly refreshing to hear such frank discussion of the shame, denial, and despair felt by so many debtors. I would pay Anna $500 an hour to say the word “yeah” to me in her painfully compassionate tones.

Women Killing It!: It’s like they made a podcast just for us and all our #fabulousfemalefinancialfriends!

Books

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander: The phrase “If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention” as a book. Yeah… we don’t understand how to recommend light summer reading. Enjoy!

The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life by Alice Schroeder: I learned so damn much from reading about the (long) life and times of unimaginative eater and completely unremarkable Omaha resident Warren Buffett. You should too.

Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping by and Get Your Financial Life Together by Erin Lowry: If you haven’t noticed, we kiiiiind of have a collective girl crush on Erin Lowry of Broke Millennial. Her book is a thorough, exhausting primer on money management for beginners starting from scratch.

Dark Money: The Hidden History of the Billionaires Behind the Rise of the Radical Right by Jane Mayer: The phrase “If you’re not angry, you’re about to be so let’s grab our molotov cocktails and start a goddamn revolution because when it comes, the Koch brothers will be the first against the wall VIVA LA REVOLUCIÓN” as a book.

End Financial Stress Now: Immediate Steps You Can Take to Improve Your Financial Outlook by Emily Guy Birken: Your financial friend and mine, Emily Guy Birken, is about to save you a lot of money on therapy (not to mention yoga) by putting all that worrying-about-money to rest.

We heartily endorse all of the above content for your summer edutainment.

If you want to support the Bitches during our summer hiatus, the best way to do that is to subscribe to our email list (on the sidebar of our main site) or make a donation (again, check the PayPal link in the sidebar). At this time, there’s not a stitch of advertising on Bitches Get Riches, so we depend 100% on donations to keep this old girl alive.

You can also follow us on Twitter or Tumblr for still more dick jokes and dumb gifs.

Bye y’all! Try not to miss us too much.