#i’m sorry for simping for you when you’re struggling jj

[natasha-romanew]

sometimes i think about THIS jennifer jareau and i’m-

[mayraki]

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“jj’s secret”

CHAPTER TWELVE

SERIES MASTERLIST

MY MASTERLIST

who is max belinsky?

concept boards for the new characters

summary: Max Belinsky and JJ Maybank are the two troublemakers of Outer Banks. Going to parties, getting into trouble, having an attitude and being the two people you don’t mess with are the perfect ways to describe them. What would happen when the two people who seem to have trouble follow them around meet? One thing is for sure, they didn’t expect this outcome.

“I can’t believe the plan worked.” Sarah said while looking at Sam’s arm around Kie’s shoulders. They were both sitting on the couch at Max’s living room, while she and Sarah where sitting on the floor in front of them.

“I can.” Max said with a proud smile. “My plans always work.”

“Well, all I can say is that I’m happy we got the Max way.” Sam said with a smile while looking at Kie, who was staring at Sam’s lips. She gave her a little kiss on the lips and Max tilted her head backwards.

“Ew. Don’t make me regret putting you two together.” She pointed at the in love girlfriends who were staring at each other while Sarah just let out a laugh.

“Hello, ladies.” Cody appeared on the living room with a cheeky smile on his face. “How is everyone doing? I’m Cody Belinsky. The coolest Belinsky.

Max let out a fake laugh. “Ha! You wish.”

“Hi Cody.” Sam said with a smile but still confused at Cody’s change of behaviour.

“I’m Sarah.” Sarah said smiling at the flirty boy.

Cody nodded with that cheeky smile on his face. Max rolled her eyes and then turned to her little brother. “Cody, they’re SO old for you.” She said but Cody just shrugged his shoulders.

“I like older women.” The girls let out laughs while Max was surprised at his brother.

“Well, the only one who’s single as fuck is your sister so, go to your room.” Max pointed at the little corridor.

“I’ll be around, ladies.” Cody said before turning around with a smile and leaving the living room behind.

“What’s with him?” Sam asked once Cody was out of their sight.

“Since he got a girlfriend he’s been like a casanova. I’m going to slap the shit out of him.” Max complained. “I want my old little brother back.”

“I don’t know, he’s funny.” Kie said. “And what was the whole ‘single as fuck’ thing?”

“What?” Max asked confused.

“You’re not.”

“Am I dating someone and I don’t know about them?” Max said pretending to be concerned. Kie let out a tiny laugh and then gave Sarah and Sam little looks, before going back to Max.

“C’mon, don’t play dumb. We all know that you and JJ have something going on.” Sarah said with a cheeky smile.

“What? No, there’s nothing going on.”

“Ok, play dumb. You and me both know that you’re not going to be single for much long.” Sam let her back rest on the back of the couch.

“JJ can be pretty stupid sometimes, but when he wants to, he can make pretty good choices.” Kie said before grabbing the bowl of chips on the coffee table.

“Well, I’m not a good choice so-” Max was saying but Sarah slapped her arm.

“We all have to make a bet. Make this fun.” Sarah said and everyone nodded except for Max. “Who thinks JJ is going to make a move this week?”

Sam lifted her hand into the air. “Me.”

“This week?” Kie shook her head. “No, I know him. I say in three weeks.”

“That’s good. But I think, tomorrow.” Sarah said with a smile and then turned to Max, who was watching at the girls surprised. “What do you think? What team are you on?”

“First of all, y’all are fucking crazy. Second, I’m on the team Max doesn’t need a man.” Max shook her head and then a satisfied smile appeared on her face. But then quickly went away when Sam threw a pillow to her. “Hey!”

“How much do we bet? 10? 20?” Kie asked between laughs.

“Wait, y’all are really going to make a bet on when is JJ going to make his first move on me?” Max asked and they all nodded innocently. “Alright, how much?”

“What do we say girls? 20?” Sarah asked and they nodded. Max let out a proud smile and then crossed her arms around her chest.

The girls shook their hands trying to annoy Max, but what was going through her mind was anything but annoyed. She let out a tiny laugh and the girls turned to her. “What?” Sam asked.

“Y’all lose.” Max said with a smile. “You’re losers.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked looking at Max confused.

“Because,” Max got up and then added before going to the kitchen. “He already did his first move.” A proud smile appeared on her face while the others were staring to throw questions at her.

“What?” “When?” “What happened?” “You didn’t tell us?” “Max, talk!”

They all arrived at the kitchen to find Max pouring water into the glass innocently. “There’s nothing to tell. All I’m going to say he already did and y’all lose.”

Sam quickly shook her head. “No, bitch, you tell us!”

“Yes!” Sarah added. “Like when was it? How? What did he say? WHEN?”

Max let out a tiny laugh and then came back to the living room to sit on her prior position while the other girls followed her waiting for her to talk. “So? Talk talk talk!” Kie yalled.

“Alright! You bossy girls! It’s not that big of a deal, it happened at the party.”

“At the party?!” Sam asked surprised. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You had a lot going on in your plate, remember?” Max said remembering the little argument and Sam nodded before turning to Kie. “Besides, it was nothing. That time we were drunk, like, really really gone.”

“That time?” Sarah asked.

“There’s another time?” Kie got closer to Max waiting for a response. But when she did an awkward little smile she went backwards covering her face with her hands. “I can’t believe it!”

“We were drunk, and then we were high. They don’t count as anything.” Max said like nothing but Sam quickly shook her head.

“Yes they do! What did you do afterwards?”

“The first time nothing, because we barely remember everything. Then, the second, the morning after we kissed high John B came screaming that we slept in and we needed to get you guys.” Max pointed with her head to Kie and Sam. “That’s it. We never talked about it.”

“Max! A week passed! Why do you mean you didn’t talk about it yet?” Sarah complained.

“We were going to! But then, I don’t know, we didn’t.”

“You need to, baby.” Sam said to Max and she quickly nodded.

“I know! I guess we both were... a little bit afraid that things were going to change between us. We don’t want that- or, at least, I don’t want that.” Max let her back rest on the floor when she let out a tiny sigh.

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want that either.” Kie said.

A little bit of silence followed that sentence, until Sarah spoke.

“Max... do you like him?” Sarah asked softly.

Max didn’t respond immediately. Her mind went into a deep thought. Did she? She had to be honest to herself, she liked the kiss with JJ. She liked how he made her feel. It’s not like she was in denial, she didn’t even knew what she felt. Her mind had a lot of questions, but the thing that was bothering her was the scary feeling of going through what she did a year ago. The pain, the tears, she swore to herself that she was never going to let herself go through that again. She deserved way more than that.

She believed that she was confused, but in reality, being afraid and the barrier she built was making it impossible for her to see what she really felt. Impossible for her to know that what she felt was real. More real than whatever she felt years back.

“I don’t know.” She said almost in a whisper before sitting down again.

The girls weren’t able to say something since the front door opened to let Fred walk through it. He did a smile to Max and then to the girls, who stared at him while admiring the beauty that Fred Belinsky was.

“Hello girls.” Fred said with a smile and then walk over to Max to give her a kiss on her forehead. “Did you make dinner?”

Max nodded. “Yeah, yours is in the fridge.”

Fred thanked her with a nod and then left the living room to go to his room.

“Damn, never mind, I’m into men.” Kie said while looking to where Fred left but when Sam turned to her pretending to be offended she kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. He was the only thing that was making me stay straight for the longest time.” Sam said shrugging her shoulders. Max thew a pillow to the girls but Sam was able to stop it with ease.

“Is he single?” Sarah asked still with her gaze in a trance.

“Yeah, but you aren’t.” Max said pushing her to make her body fall on the floor, but Sarah didn’t stop.

“How is he single? Are the ladies who know him crazy?”

“He’s too busy for a girlfriend.” Max shrugged her shoulders. “And he doesn’t have a great taste.” Max said with disgust remembering her old girlfriend.

“He’s so beautiful. And the kiss he gave you on the forehead? Ugh! Give me one!” Max turned around to look for a pillow but when Sam threw her the one that she threw before, she quickly grabbed it in the air and punched Sarah with it.

“Stop simping over my brother!”

“Alright.” Sarah sat down. “Let’s go back to JJ, then.”

Max quickly shook her head and closed her eyes. “Oh no, alright, go back to my brother.”

Max parked her car and quickly turned it off. Her boot was going up and down for the nerves she was starting to feel. Her eyes were glued to JJ’s house while she was biting her lower lip and trying to think of the words she was going to say. Whatever was going inside of her.

Yes. She was going to talk about her feelings with JJ. One of the deepest fears was people understanding or knowing what was she really feeling, letting people in was one of her biggest struggles. She couldn’t not think about her ex-boyfriend, her mind was reminding her of the last time she let someone in, she got her heart broken. Her mind was screaming to not let it in, to run away, but since the talk with her friends, she couldn’t stop thinking about it, and worst, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. JJ Maybank. The guy who his flirts she found annoying, the other troublemaker, the guy who would always have a girl around his arm and was known for never settling down. Even if what she felt inside was all a mess and she didn’t even fully understand what was going on, she was falling for him, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She stepped outside her car and started to slowly walk to his house. Her heart wasn’t stopping from beating faster as each step was made. She was way deep into her thoughts, that it took her a minute to realise what was coming from JJ’s house. A loud noise was heard so she suddenly stopped walking. She furrowed her eyebrows confused but then brushed it off, maybe something fell, she thought once she started to walk again. But when a loud yell was now going through her ears, she didn’t even hesitate on walking faster to the front door.

“You’re piece of shit!” Max recognised Luke Maybank’s voice so her heart dropped to her stomach. “Your mother knew that!” Another loud noise.

Max stopped while her mind was trying to think her next move. A noise of something hitting a wall hit her ears so that’s when she quickly walked to where she knew JJ’s room window was.

“You just keep fucking things up! You bastard!” Max kept hearing Luke’s screams and the fact that she wasn’t hearing JJ’s, she was getting more worried than before. “You wanna talk back to me again? You fucking good for nothing! You’ll know what’s worst!”

Max saw JJ’s window and quickly walked towards it. She got on her tip toes to see through it and that’s when her heart dropped to her stomach once again.

JJ was sitting on the floor covering his ears with his hands. He was looking down but Max knew that he was crying, his knees were dirty and his shirt was ripped. That’s when she understood it all. What was fully happening.

She opened the window slowly to not make a loud noise and she climbed inside the room with ease. JJ was trying so hard to not hear his dad’s words that he didn’t even notice the girl that was now in front of him.

Max noticed that his room was locked so she kneeled down in front of him to gently touch his arm. “JJ..” she said softly. When her hand touched him, he quickly looked up. His eyes were red from crying too much and some scratches was now visible. JJ couldn’t fully understand if the Max Belsinky that he had in front of him was the real one... or the one that he usually imagined to get away from his dad’s screams. It’s not like the did it on purpose, it just happened once and it became something that would come often unintentionally, since the first time it was the only thing that could calm him down, think about her.

“JJ, c’mon, let’s get you out of here.” Max pulled him up by gently grabbing his arms and he listened to her, by getting up and walking behind her to the window.

They both climbed the window and seconds later, they were both out of the house. Max grabbed his hand to lead him to her old white Jeep, but when a loud door opening hit their ears they both turned around.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” Luke yelled once he was outside. Max grabbed JJ’s hand with more strength and turned around to keep walking to her car faster. “I’m not done with you you little shit!” Max heard Luke walking towards them, but they were both already inside her car. “Don’t you dare start that car!” He yelled, but it was too late, Max had already left the Maybank house behind.

Max saw her house once she parked her Jeep. She couldn’t take her eyes off the steering wheel while the image of JJ and Luke’s screams were still playing inside her mind.

JJ was biting his lower lip out of nerves while looking down at his fingers playing with each other. He didn’t know what to say, she knew. She knew what his father did to him. He didn’t want to, he didn’t want her to be a part of that. But it was too late.

“Who knows?” Max asked softly turning to face him, but he didn’t look up.

“Who knows what?” JJ asked. He was playing dumb. He knew exactly what she was asking, who knew about his dad beating him, but in his mind he thought that maybe, if he brushed it off it would just go away...

“About your dad, JJ.” Max said softly again. He was still not looking at her, he felt like if he did, it would be over for him and the tears that wanted to come out.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“JJ-”

“I seriously don’t.” He cut her off. He looked through the window while she went back to the steering wheel. Silence surrounded the car while Max was trying so hard to think her next words. But she couldn’t. She didn’t understand what he was going through, and the thought of a father doing that to their child... couldn’t go through her mind. She felt horrible for him, someone so brave, funny, and the friend that wouldn’t even hesitate fighting for her friends and the people who he loved, he was an amazing person and Max hated that JJ didn’t know that. That he was worth so much. He was worth fighting for, caring for, and loving for. She went back to looking at him but then looked down again, when her next words came to her mind.

“You can talk to me, you know?” She asked more loudly this time. She wanted him to know that she was serious, that she wasn’t the funny and chaotic Max.

JJ did quick little nods. “I know.” He said softly. Max looked at him and noticed he swallowed to eat the tears and to avoid the pain he was starting to feel in his throat.

“You’re always there for your friends, and it’s time for someone to be there for you.” Those words hit JJ different since for the first time, he locked eyes with her. A little smile escaped his lips as well as a little tear. Max lifted her hand to gently wipe the tear, JJ felt his chest calming once he felt her touch. It was like a magic spell, and her fingers where the wand doing her magic on JJ. But it was something way more stronger that magic, something that they both needed from each other.

“C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.” Max said opening the door of the Jeep but when JJ spoke she turned to face him.

“No.” He quickly shook his head. “I don’t want your bothers to see me like this. I don’t want to get you in any trouble.”

“Fred is at work, and Cody is at his friend’s house. And don’t worry, they’re used to me getting into trouble.” Max let out a tiny laugh but JJ didn’t move. He shook his head again.

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“JJ you will never be a burden to me.” She so said quickly that she didn’t even know what she said. She looked down after realising, but JJ didn’t looked away once those words came out of her mouth and his heart skipped a beat. “Now, c’mon, don’t make me carry you because I fucking will if I have to.” She pointed at him and a little smile escaped his mouth before opening the door and stepping out of the car.

“I think- I think we have an aid kit on the bathroom. Let me check.” Max said once she opened the front door. “You sit down, JJ.” She pointed with her head to the couch before walking to her big brother’s little bathroom.

JJ didn’t move. All he could think about on that moment was the words “you’ll never a burden to me” coming out of Max’s mouth. Nobody has ever told that to him, not even the Pogues. They didn’t treat him like a burden, on the contrary, the Pogues were the ones that treated him better than anyone since he was a little kid. But there where times, no matter how many times he told himself he wasn’t, he felt like it. Like if he would just walk away nothing would change, the Pogues would continue with their lives like nothing happened. It was always his mind playing tricks on him, saying things that weren’t true. But even if they weren’t, JJ sometimes believed it. He never told that to anyone, how he sometimes felt, and the fact that Max said those words... made him feel something that he would cherish forever. She made him feel like he was worth it.

“Hey, the couch is not going to bite you, you know?” Max said jokingly when she came into the living room to see JJ standing in the middle of it lost in his thoughts.

He looked down at his dirty clothes and then went back to her. “I don’t want to ruin your couch.”

“Oh.” Max said while giving a little nod. “I’ll get a towel, then.”

After she went back to the bathroom to get what she needed, she set it on the couch to let JJ sit on it to start cleaning his scratches.

“I’ve done this to myself multiple times, so don’t worry.” Max said while putting alcohol on a little piece of cotton.

“To yourself?” JJ asked confused.

“Yep. You won’t believe the amount of times I feel on my face while skating, or climbing a fence... or jumping off my window. The list goes on and on.” JJ let out a tiny laugh that quickly turned into a complain grunt when Max touched his scratch with the cotton. “You’ll get use to it. The pain.” Max said with a little smile after seeing JJ’s face but then quickly widen her eyes after realising what she just said. She looked down to her hand holding the cotton against his skin.

“I will always get use to it.” He said with a smile shaking his head, like it was not important. “It’s alright.”

“You don’t have to. Get use to it, you shouldn’t.” Max said after locking eyes with him.

He shrugged his shoulders. “There’s nothing we can do about it.”

“There’s always something we can do.”

He shook his head. “Not with this.” He said softly.

Max threw the cotton aside and grabbed another one, to clean the scratch in his cheek. She let the alcoholic wet the cotton while silence surrounded the living room. Max’s mind was going through a lot of ways to help JJ, so fast that she couldn’t contain one, and some others didn’t even make sense.

JJ looked at Max while she was getting the other cotton ready, her concentrated face made her even more beautiful. The way she would move her eyebrows and her eyelashes would slowly follow her eyes. Her lips were pressed against each other and the need to touch them with his lips appeared... it was incredible. No matter the situation, no matter what he was feeling, Max Belinsky made him feel better, even if she was just sitting down with her eyes looking down. It was something about her, that made JJ’s breathing go back to normal and his body to relax, making him forget all about what happened thirty minutes ago.

She took the cotton closer to his face avoiding any eye contact. “This is going to hurt more.” She started to clean him up while he bit his lower lip trying to take the pain. It wasn’t difficult to him. While she was watching her hand with the cotton, he stared into her eyes. He got the sudden need to end the closeness and be closer to her face. Feel her breathing against his skin, but he controlled himself. He took a deep sigh and then his eyes went down.

“You’re the only who knows.” He said softly. Max stopped moving the cotton after hearing his words, but then carried on. “The Pogues know my dad is a screw up, but they don’t know about... this.” He pointed at his scratches.

“Why didn’t you tell anybody?” Max threw the cotton away before grabbing another one to start cleaning his other scratch on his face.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I just figured it’d be easier if they didn’t know.” Max was about to clean him but he quickly grabbed his arm, stopping her and the cotton already going to his face. She locked eyes with him confused, but when his eyes started to water again, without hesitating, she threw the cotton to the side to wrap her arms around his body. He let his face rest against her shoulder while feeling some silent tears going down his cheeks. That was all he needed, feel her close. More than ever. And for her to don’t let go.

She started to caress his back when the need to cry appeared to her too. Knowing that her friends were hurting and her not being able to help them, was one of the worst things that could happen to her. That’s the thing about her, she has trouble letting people in, but when she does, she goes hard. She cares about them more than she cares about herself. And the fact that JJ, the guy that in the last month had become a really close friend, was going through something like that, something that Max couldn’t do something about it, made her chest feel an incredibly strong pain, like it was closing and the only way to stop it was trying to do everything she could to make him happy again.

Max moved her head backwards to face him. They both were touching each other’s foreheads while her arms were still wrapped around his body. He took his hand to grab her waist and pull her closer. Their noses were almost touching and the air what was coming out of their mouths was mixing.

“Tell me- tell me, what can I do?” Max asked softly, almost in a whisper.

JJ looked down to her lips and stared at them before answering. “Right now, just hold me.”

Max slowly nodded before closing her eyes. Silence surrounded them, the only thing that they cared about what holding each other and be close. It was like they were protecting each other, no matter what it was, bad thoughts, ugly memories, they were both trying to give each other the safety they both clearly needed from each other. And, also, wanted.

JJ was still with his eyes opened, they were admiring Max’s face while enjoying her touch against his body. He wanted to remember every single second of that moment, he wanted to hold it until his memory wouldn’t work anymore. He wanted to remember for those moments he found himself lost, sad, and even angry. He wanted to remember her.

A loud noise came from the front door so that made both of them jumped and let the other go. Max quickly got up and turned to the door, to find her big brother walking through it.

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Max asked trying to take her heart back to normal after the scare of the door opening.

Fred did a quick look at JJ, who was looking down, but then went back to Max confused. “I told you, since yesterday I did extra time, today I was going to leave early.” Fred pointed at JJ. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah.” Max said before quickly grabbing the cotton and the alcohol from the coffee table.

“Who got hurt?” Fred asked while looking at the things Max had on her hands and that’s when JJ got up from the couch. His scratches were now visible along with his red eyes. Fred dropped his bag on the floor before quickly walking to JJ. “What happened?” He asked concerned while looking at JJ.

“He fell.” Max said quickly once she noticed JJ getting uncomfortable at the question. “We were skating and he fell. It’s my fault, I made a bet he couldn’t do a trick.” She let out a tiny smile to make her lie believable but Fred didn’t look at her, he was still looking at JJ.

“Did you cleaned him up?” Fred asked.

Max nodded quickly. “Yeah, I’ve been there before.” She let out a tiny laugh but Fred didn’t do the same, he turned to her with a serious expression but then went back to JJ.

“Are you alright?” He asked. JJ nodded while biting his lower lip.

He looked down when his fingers started to play with each other. “It’s time for me to leave.”

“Wait-” Fred stopped him. “We have to make sure you’re fine.”

“I am. Don’t worry about it, I’ve been here before too.” JJ said with a smile but Max knew it was forced, that made her heart skipped a beat because she knew what he meant.

“Are you sure?” Fred asked again, but when JJ gave him a smile and then nodded, Fred move to the side to let JJ walk to the door.

Max followed him to open the door. She grabbed the door knob but then turned around to see if Fred was still in the room. Because he was, she looked at JJ and asked softly.

“Are you going to go to John B’s?”

JJ nodded. “Yeah, probably.”

Max knew that JJ wasn’t in danger at the Chateau, but her gut was still making her feel unsure and worried. She opened the door and her heart went to her stomach when she saw the person that was standing in front of her house. Luke Maybank.

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