#i know emily had a gay panic right there

[natasha-romanew]

sometimes i think about THIS jennifer jareau and i’m-

[storiesofsvu]

Okay I do live reactions for svu so I should do them for evolution too, right? Lol

TO the newcomers: my live watch thoughts are always rather disjointed, unhinged and might not make sense without context, my opinions/thoughts might change on a second glance/second watch through (which i'll do once it's on disney this weekend). anything in my askbox related to this i will wait a few days to reply to to avoid spoilers for others!

Starting off strong with the vic they dressed similar to jj to make us all panic, so that’s out of the way.

Kinda lowkey hate how this is a follow up from last season but starting with shit we have no major connection to HOWEVER, I do like that that’s how the og eps would start so that’s a step in the right direction, right?

“SSA emily prentiss”??!! has she been demoted or was that just an easier way to introduce herself?

OKAY, em not being at garcia’s bday makes a little more sense now if she’s off working a different case, she hasn’t been kidnapped …yet…

“we should eat some cake” tara being the realest here. Where’s my cake? I still haven’t gotten my birthday treat, this is a crime. Someone remind me to pick up cake on Friday before work.

“you’re hot”(screaming cause jj sees what we see) “a hot mess…” yup.. tara is still the realest. Also “mr or mrs right” confirmed pan queen

Jfc Emily looks SO FUCKING GOOD

OH FUCK ME the SMOKING IS IN THE FIRST EPISODE?! Fuck

BOTH OF THEM ARE SMOKING OHHHMY FUCKING GOODDD. It’s a crime that we didn’t get to see either of them actually smoking though, like they were half offscreen, we all know paget knows how to inhale LOL.

It’s voit she’s consulting with, right?

“good book I hope” LOL. Omg luke

And we have our first fuck of the season!

Voit showing off just exactly how good he is and how he would absolutely win over a jury is such a good play and im here for it.

Second fuck of the season.

Also like…yeah.. they’ve got zero concrete proof that voit was/is sicarius. That’s the thing with criminal minds, they NEVER follow past the point of arrest. 90% of their unsubs would end up in mental health facilities or be able to plead not guilty by reason of mental defect. That’s why the show worked so well prior to evolution, we didn’t deal with that much of the political side of it, the team went home and we all just imagined the unsubs went to prison (if they weren’t killed). There would be no way voit would end up charged with this shit unless they had a TON more of evidence.

LOVE rossi & prentiss’ little tiff that’s really just them watching out for each other and making sure they know the other person still has their back.

On the other side, I’m still not sure whether I’m leaning toward Rebecca or tara’s side. I love them both and will forever be made about the killing the gays trope holding up so we’ll see how the season goes..

I am loving how heavy prentiss of an ep this is

JFC. The two with the most heavy trauma lingering from the last season REALLY had to go through THAT???

OKAY THAT WAS JUST LAZY WRITING!!! I KNOW that Emily only said the “didn’t call 911, walked 3 miles…” thing to rossi earlier but to repeat it that quickly in the same episode is…ugh..

“HE” compromised an investigation… uh… that was half Penelope my guy

Ok but now that that whole investigation is no longer a thing and no longer a case whatsoever that was just the easy way of making it not a conflict of interest and now we’re stuck with this awkward love triangle that shouldn’t be a triangle, right? Like, last season it was a little off imo of Garcia, but we’re what? Halfway through episode one and I don’t EVER remember seeing Penelope like this, she keeps saying “I broke up with him” GURL, you WERE NEVER TOGETHER. You kissed twice, you helped him through a public drunk/hangover, you banged and Emily went “dude wtf call it off” and you ended it. She’s acting like a love drunk highschooler who’s been pining after this guy for months…

Rebecca is SO SMOL

Tyler green’s actor reminds me of ryan Reynolds… like… voice and mannerisms? He’s Canadian.. are they like, distantly related?

“he tried to kill me” “but he didn’t” wtf bruh

LOOOL the way rossi stepped in before Emily could end up all “yeah fuck authority, fuck this, fuck you, and fuck your mom. Here’s my badge”

YESSSS EMILY’S FIRST FUCK

Also can we talk about the fact that we’re into like.. day 3? I think and these babes have not slept…. (day 3 for at least em, tara & pen..)

“I’ll post it on youtube myself” dave… there is no way in hell you know how to use youtube…

Okay. Episode one down. Onto episode two.

 Goddammit there’s no subtitles on ep 2 lol

Tbh. I love clark Gregg, I think he’s a great addition to the cast.

I can’t stop thinking about the thirst tweets and Zach being all “you guys think serial killers are cute? Uwu” LOL

Penelope comparing her like, week long hook up with tyler to tara’s entire relationship?? (yeah I know we don’t know exactly how long they were together but if they were talking about moving it we can assume it was a decent amount of time?). I HATE what they’re doing to Penelope… like..i could turn a blind eye last season and say it was a fluke but not anymore.

FUCK Emily is so goddamn hot

I repeat my last statement oh my fucking god.

Rossi hallucinating is not okay, like…I know a lot of it is ptsd or whatever but like.. man needs to retire

I am REALLY liking getting to see this much prentiss and rossi in the first 2 eps, I saw a tweet or something bout how paget really got to shine in the first 2 eps and that’s so true. HOWEVER, that makes me stressed that she’s got a ton of screen time in the first couple of eps cause of whatever happens to her later on and her being kidnapped/going rogue or whatever happens that has her nearly blown up/injured in the promo shots we’ve seen.

Also okay, listen, Paget’s incredible. She’s been doing this same role for… let’s say 12 years, she’s stepped away to other jobs and come back to CM, the show’s been cancelled and then renewed and she’s still managing to play it perfectly, keep the character the same, her line delivery, her body language, she just slips right back into it and her acting never deviates (unlike some other actors in similar situations). Her talking to that kid was PURE Emily from earlier seasons.

Omg this entire ex gf bickering in front of tyler is HILARIOUS and I am tyler…like, get me out of the car PLEASE lol.

Okay wow… tara that was a little deep cut my girl.

A HOTCH REFERENCE?!?! Also yeesss Emily calling rossi out to say he’d never do it to him. It’s gotta be that awkward situation of being his boss when he’s older, he’s a man, he “should have been the UC before her”, maybe there was a time when he outranked her. trust me, as someone who’s had to navigate that kinda shit in a bar world, that’s awkward enough, props to em for calling him out. Please continue to call men on their crap.

  YES ANOTHER FUCK omg.

I wanna say thank you to whatever director had Rebecca behind the drivers seat and tara in the passenger seat and the camera angles filming them diagonally rather then Rebecca sitting in the middle for no reason other than angles.

Emily’s hair is going to get progressively more straight/unstyled as the season goes on cause she’s more unhinged/out of control/losing it, isn’t it?

The fact that they really listened and put Emily in blue and red in her first two eps…thank you .. lol

“it used to be hard to get someone to take a life. But now, it’s easy. All you’ve gotta do is go on the internet.. tell em a lie.. a big lie..” the TRUTH to that statement is actually fucking terrifying…

Hate voit calling jj “Jennifer” BUT I also know in previous seasons she’s been  all “my friends call me jj, you can call me Jennifer” it’s just weird to hear lol.

Okay,,, is em hyper fixating and she fucked up by mentioning gold star or are we meant to believe that rn? Like obvi she’s gonna be focused on that cause of bailey’s death and her denial of working with voit and wanting to solve that case but… still.. yup… no gold star.. not totally surprised. HOWEVER would NOT be surprised that the same trope comes out later in the season, that they’re working something else and Emily is second guessing herself/dave gives her a look and she’s all “yeah you’re right, I was wrong last time.” And doesn’t believe herself and BAM it actually is gold star and maybe that’s what draws her into the field on her own or whatever.

Okay… im assuming we weren’t supposed to hear what voit said to luke? Or am I just deaf without my subtitles LOL.

“who’s infected now?”  oooohh kay…. Way to end an episode.

Alright, there we are. ep 1 was better? I’ll likely rewatch when they drop on Disney plus tomorrow/Friday after work, but those are my thoughts so far.

[contrivedchaos]

So I am imagining overlord Sera returning to her home after a meeting with another overlord to find a an Angel in her house arguing with her sister. She demands to know what is happening and gets introduced to High Seraphim Carmilla and learns that when Emily died she went to heaven and had been trying to find Sera and when she learned Sera was in hell snuck out of heaven to be with her and Carmilla had been trying to get her back. She both touched at how much her sister loves her that she gave up heaven for her and also is completely on board with sending Emily back she had spent her whole life trying to get Emily safe and had been willing to give her life for Emily Emily being in heaven would be prefect it would be safe and Emily could have a good after life and not have to deal with violence, death, crime, their parents and all the other things that made their lives and after lives bad this is Emily's chance to escape that life which is what Sera had always wanted for her. Emily doesn't want to go back to heaven for her a hell with Sera is infinitely better than a heaven without her. Emily eventually convinces Carmilla to let her stay solely because it becomes clear that if they take Emily back to heaven she will escape back to hell and will keep doing it until they let her stay with Sera. Carmilla does decide that she'll come back every year to check up on Emily and bring her some things from heaven and to make sure Emily and Sera are safe Carmilla gives Sera some Angelic steal weapons. Carmilla is much harder on adam so he doesn't leave weapons behind in hell so these are the only angelic steal weapons in hell. Also while all this was happening Sera was having an internal gay panic because there was a very hot and beautiful angel in her house but she keeps that part internal since there are more important things happening though the thought of this angel coming back once a year is making it hard to Sera to focus.

Carmilla does care about Emily and wants to check on her at a regular cadence, but also, maybe she times her visits right before the Exterminations, so Hell is fully stocked with angelic steel right before it happens. That's usually also when Sera is more active in her community, outside getting her people ready, so Carmilla is more likely to see her. 👀👀

And also, maybe in this AU Carmilla is still the better fighter, and notes where Sera could do better, and Carmilla offers to teach her some moves and point out the weak spots of all the angels. Gives her a chance to covertly flirt a little, and then it's really hard for Sera to focus. 👀

[moonlight-breeze-44]

Bad Things Happen Bingo Prompt Fill - "Disowned by Family"

Shelter From the Storm

When Gregorio comes out to her mother, the fallout leaves her falling back into old habits. Pride, however, is determined to remind her that she isn't alone in her struggles and that there are people that care about and love her just as she is right there in New Orleans. Sometimes, family doesn't have to be blood. Sometimes family can be found.

Pairings: None main; background PerSalle

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Self-harm, self-worth/esteem issues, general mental health issues, homophobia, disownment, blood/injury

Read on AO3

Gregorio knew it was only a matter of time before she had to make the phone call, but it didn’t mean getting the courage to dial her mother’s number and press call was any easier.

Now, alone in her apartment, she wished her heart would stop pounding into the beginnings of a panic attack and let her fucking breathe. Her hands were so clammy with sweat that she half-expected the phone to slip and fall to the ground. She wondered if maybe it would be better if it did. It would mean she didn’t have to face this.

Gregorio loved her mom, but that was half of the problem. Her mother could be old-fashioned, and Gregorio had been raised in the countryside of New York with two dogs, an old cat, and no father to speak of. In some ways, Gregorio was a lot more like LaSalle than she wanted to admit.

As she waited for Emily Gregorio to pick up her phone, Tammy paced; she was her mother’s only child, and if what she said today devastated her like she feared it would, she doubted there would be another chance for them. This stupid fucking phone call was going to define their entire relationship, and the fear was enough to make Tammy grab the chair in front of her for support, nails scrabbling for purchase along the worn fiber.

No turning back now.

“Tammy?” Her mother’s voice, pragmatic as always, filled Gregorio’s ears and she flinched. Maybe she wasn’t as ready for this as she thought. “What’s wrong?”

It was a response that most other people would consider harsh or brusque, but in reality, Emily was just being realistic; Tammy almost never called unless she was backed into a corner and needed something. Her mother never called unless someone had died. It was a routine that Tammy couldn’t bring herself to feel bad for, considering her mother’s part in it and the lack of warmth between them. But their lack of contact made what Tammy had to say even harder to reveal.

“Mom, I have something to tell you,” Tammy breathed, trying to keep her voice as steady and strong as she could while the panic rattled in her ribcage. She could do this. She had to.

“Oh my god, are you pregnant?” Emily exclaimed, and Tammy heard the blatant delight in her voice at the thought. She shook her head, even though she knew her mother couldn’t see her. This was going to make it even harder to burst her bubble. When the silence stretched on a beat too long, she rolled her shoulders, shaking them out, trying to calm her nerves.

“Uh, no, Mom, I’m not pregnant,” Tammy replied, heaving a deep breath. “I, uh…I-I’m…”

“You’re what, Tammy? Spit it out.”

“I’m gay,” Tammy burst out, chest heaving with having the pressure of her secret released. She felt herself begin to tremble and leaned more of her weight onto the old chair in front of her. “I’m, uh, I’m a lesbian, Mom. I like women.”

The silence that followed her revelation felt like claws around Gregorio’s neck, choking and scratching into her windpipe. She waited with bated breath. Everything hinged on her mother’s reaction. Tammy’s hands were shaking with fear. Even if they weren’t close, she still loved her mother. She still wanted her to be a part of her life.

“Tammy, I…I’m not sure what to say.”

“Anything,” Gregorio begged, hating how desperate she sounded, but she couldn’t wait any longer. “Just say something, please.”

“Well, you know this isn’t what I wanted for you,” Emily stated, and Tammy knew it was true. Memories of her bisexual phase in high school rushed to the forefront of her mind, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe past the mental images of her mother’s disdain when she was fifteen and dating Zara Matthews. The coldness in her mother’s voice, then and now, felt like Tammy had swallowed a burning hot coal that was beginning to scorch her insides.

“How will you have children, Tammy?” Emily continued, obviously distraught. Tammy’s fingers tightened on the phone, and she tried to take a deep breath; get herself under control.

“I can adopt,” she replied calmly, “Or find a surrogate. Or…” She paused, hesitating. She was already six feet deep and buried with her mother, it seemed; why not put the nail in her own coffin? “...or maybe I won’t have kids.”

“Tammy,” her mother said reproachfully, “You have to have kids!”

“Says who?” Tammy retorted, her hands trembling where they still held the back of the living room chair for dear life. “I mean, look at me. I’m okay, aren’t I? I’m happy. I, I don’t have to have kids. Besides, I’m an NCIS agent. Who would want a mom who does what I do?”

“A child that understands the meaning of sacrifice,” Emily snapped. “Which you clearly don’t.”

“Mom, I…”

“No, Tammy, just don’t.” Gregorio fell silent, biting her lip hard to avoid letting out the tears that had gathered in her eyes sometime during the phone call. Her mother loved her, she was sure. But Tammy could never be who she wanted, either. And if she had learned one thing from her time in New Orleans with Ethan, before NCIS, it was that sometimes love wasn’t enough.

“Look, dear, I’m not going to say that this is the end of things.” Gregorio’s breath hitched, and she had to fight to keep her emotions in check. She knew that tone well enough to know what her mother was really saying, and it was the end of things. God, she knew her mother wouldn’t approve, but to know it and to have it confirmed were two very different feelings.

“But you should know how I feel about this,” Emily continued, ignorant to her daughter’s pain. “I don’t think it’s right. I don’t think it’s natural. I always thought you grew out of that phase you had in high school, especially after you married Ethan. Which, I know that didn’t work out, but one bad apple doesn’t mean the whole barrel is bad. I-I don’t know what you want from me here, Tammy. You are my daughter, and I love you. But I will not support this lifestyle. When you’re ready, you can come back home. We can work this out. But until then, don’t - don’t call. Don’t visit. Please. Spare us both. I’m sure you won’t feel this way forever, Tammy. When you change your mind, I’ll be here. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Mom - ”

“Tammy, please. Don’t make this any harder than it already is. Just-Just sort yourself out, okay? I’ll be here when you need me. I love you.” With that, the call dropped, and Gregorio sank to her knees behind the worn out chair, breathing hard and fast, on the verge of a fucking panic attack from the call. Emily was gone. She recognized the situation for what it was; her mother had given her an ultimatum. Become straight, or say goodbye to her and their home back in New York forever.

It wasn’t a choice at all.

With the sound of the dial tone in her ear, her mother’s final words before she hung up way too loud in her head, Tammy allowed herself to cry, the weight of the emotions she had struggled to hold back before escaping in full. She sobbed into her knees, her shoulders shaking. She couldn’t be something she wasn’t. She couldn’t change, even though there had been more than enough times that she wanted to. She couldn’t give her mother what she had asked for.

In all the ways that mattered, it was over.

She and her mother had never been close. The truth was that Tammy expected the call to end like this, but it was still more of a blow than she had ever expected to know that the woman who raised her would never accept her for who she was. Tammy felt lost, and cut open, like someone had twisted a knife in her and then left her to die on a street corner. She didn’t know what her next steps were, if there even were any, and more than anything, she felt vulnerable.

It was a feeling she wasn’t used to, between her secrecy about her private life and the walls she built around her heart, but it made her want to hide and protect her six from whatever was going to hurt her. But there was nothing to shield herself from, no imminent threat or dangerous gunman; just her own damage and that goddamn dial tone still humming in her ear, a reminder that she would never be able to call home again.

The thought of home sent a fresh wave of tears cascading down her cheeks, and Tammy finally ripped the cellphone from her ear, throwing it across hardwood until it crashed into the side of her refrigerator. She would regret that later, she was sure, but for now she didn’t care. She couldn’t. The only piece of herself that seemed to matter was in New York, probably opening a bottle of whiskey and no doubt planning to pray for her in church the next day.

Home was gone forever now, even if she hadn’t called it that in years. It was still the place where she was raised, and where she’d learned how to fight for herself in more ways than one. She loved the sprawling hills on their property, and the well where she had nearly drowned once as a child. She loved the fucking tire swing and the garden beds and the old barn where she used to go with the dogs when she needed to be alone. Their house and grounds were so beautiful that sometimes Gregorio hardly believed that she lived in New York growing up. All of it would become a memory now, and she would never be able to touch the wildflowers that grew along the fence line ever again. It shouldn’t have affected her so much, considering it had been years since she even wanted to go home, but the thought of losing it all forever was more than she could handle.

The tears, which hadn’t stopped or slowed in the slightest, were becoming overwhelming and almost nausea-inducing, so Gregorio took a deep breath, moving her hands roughly down her legs, then her calves, then her ankles, trying to ground herself and move away from the precipice of her breakdown. But instead of finding stability in her old brown Doc Martens, like she had hoped, her hand brushed a cold piece of metal, and it sent her heartbeat racing again.

She knew what it was, the feeling unmistakeable against her fingers. It was a sterling silver razor blade, years old at least, tucked into a fraying patch on her boots since November of 2018. She had played a dangerous game with it, allowing it so close; on one hand, it could become dislodged at work and she ran the risk of someone investigating her for psychological issues if they saw where it had been hiding. On the other hand, she could lose it in the field, and she would never have to worry about it, or remember the temptation, ever again.

Neither of those things had happened, apparently, and she knew from the feel of it against her fingers that, somehow, it hadn’t even been scuffed. It was the perfect deadly instrument, even after all these years. Gregorio’s hand trembled.

She hesitated for a second, but pulled the razor blade from the patch on her boot, turning it over and over in her palms like precious gold. A coil of longing hit her like a punch to the gut, and Gregorio tried to suck in a deep breath, wanted to put it back, wanted to throw it away and pretend it never existed, but she couldn’t bring herself to.

If this razor blade had somehow managed to survive three years working as a field agent for the FBI, and one as an NCIS agent, not to mention the countless parties and clubs she’d been to, it had to be a sign. Gregorio didn’t believe in fate, but maybe the gods that weren’t were trying to tell her something now.

It had been five years. It had been half of a lifetime. Part of Gregorio didn’t want to risk it, after fighting so hard to get clean in the first place, but the other, larger part of her that wanted for the quick pain of metal against her skin argued that because it had been so long, it wouldn’t matter now. A relapse wasn’t really a relapse if it only lasted a day, and if she got her act together right after. She could do this, and hide it, then throw it away the next day and no one would ever have to know.

“It’s not like last time,” Gregorio muttered to herself, trying to believe it. “I won’t let it get out of hand.”

She didn’t know if she could keep the promise to herself or not, but it didn’t matter. Her mother’s words were still burning like acid in her lungs, and she just wanted the pain to be replaced with something new, something better, until she was able to get ahold of herself. It was the best, most efficient option, and then she would stop. One cut, she told herself, and after that she would curl up in bed and watch Desperate Housewives or something. One cut, and she would be okay.

Tammy rolled up her sleeve, took a deep breath, and pressed the razor blade to her wrist.

The relief was immediate, almost as overwhelming and euphoric as a drug, and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks at the feeling. It didn’t take away her mother’s homophobia, or the way her abandonment made Tammy feel, but it replaced the worst of it with white-hot pain and the familiar sting of a fresh cut instead. Blood welled like storm clouds in the wound, and slid down her wrist until it began to drip onto her pants. Lazily, Tammy remembered she needed to do laundry and didn’t have another pair of work pants. Another, bigger part of her, however, couldn’t be bothered to care.

Instantly forgetting the one-cut promise, Tammy sliced her way through six pristine cuts before stopping to take a breath, her chest heaving with the relief of giving into the old addiction again. She didn’t remember much from three years ago, the last time she cut, but she could swear it had never felt this good before.

Looking down at her arm, a pageant of crimson lines sluggishly bleeding, Tammy felt the calm settle into her bones, numbness chasing away the pain. She exhaled hard, letting her head thump against the forgotten chair in front of her. She got what she needed. She should stop.

She didn’t.

It was close to midnight before she threw the razor blade down and stopped to admire her work. She wasn’t sure how much blood she would have to clean up, or how much she had lost, and she hadn’t eaten today either. She knew it wasn’t a good idea to just sit there after what she’d done, but her head was swimming, and she was so exhausted that even attempting to get up would have been too much for her. So, instead, Tammy rested her arms on the bloodstained slacks, and let her head loll against the back of the living chair. She had slept in worse places.

~ ~ ~

In the morning, Tammy’s alarm came blaring to life at 6am, startling her awake from where she was slumped over next to the chair. Her arms felt like they were glued to her pants, dried blood sticking to the fabric, and she could feel a telltale crustiness on the seat of her pants that meant, somehow, she had managed to sit in a puddle of blood. “God, make it stop,” she muttered, and struggled to get to her feet to turn off the fucking alarm. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this bad.

By the time she made it to the kitchen, where her phone was at, miraculously not dead but down to the last 5% of its battery, it was almost 6:30 and she was going to be late for work if she didn’t hustle.

Tammy made it to her bedroom with less difficulty, though she still felt lightheaded, and got to work peeling the blood-soaked slacks off and painfully removing her shirt, which had a few spots of blood on it from her careless cutting the night before. She searched through her closet as fast as she could for the most lightweight long-sleeved shirt she had, that was a dark enough color to mask the blood if her cuts opened up while she was at work. After that, she selected a pair of dark jeans, even though they were against the agency dress code, and headed to the bathroom to do what she could for her appearance.

To her dismay, her eyes were still a little bloodshot from last night, and her hair was a mess. She would need makeup to cover up the circles underneath her eyes, evidence of multiple nights of restless sleep in preparation for the phone call with her mother.

The thought of her mother made Tammy’s heart seize up, and she pressed on one of the new cuts, hissing at the sharp pain it brought. It was enough to snap her out of her head, at least, and she got to work applying makeup to cover up what she could of her turmoil. Finally, she was able to run a brush through her hair, grab her gun, badge, and car keys, and head out the door.

Just before walking into the Navy Yard, Tammy hesitated, and considered calling in sick. But as tempting as it was to go back to her apartment and stay in bed all day, that wasn’t a good idea; the NCIS team was like a big fucking family, and they were sure to stop by if they got word she wasn’t feeling well. Not only was her apartment a mess, but the pool of blood by the chair in the living room, as well as the razor blade that had caused all of this damage, was still out in the open for any prying eyes to see.

Still, Tammy knew it would be hard to keep what she had done from her teammates. She would have to be on her guard. They were perceptive, even if they weren’t trained profilers like her, and much worse, they knew her. It would take all of her skills at hiding and lying and pretending to fool them into believing she was fine.

The cuts pulled tight as the fabric of her shirt shifted, making each step and movement she made towards the office painful. She had learned how to hide the pain a long time ago, but a part of her wished she had bandaged the wounds before coming in today, instead of hiding the first-aid supplies in her bag in case of an emergency and hoping for the best. But Pride was already going to kill her for being late, and it would take another fifteen minutes at least to deal with the fallout of her habit. She didn’t want to come off any more suspicious than she already was.

Taking a deep breath, Gregorio etched a smile onto her face, and walked into the NCIS office like everything was fine, as always. Nothing is different today, she warned herself, trying to drill it into her brain. Nothing has changed.

“There ya are, Gregorio! Was startin’ to wonder if we was gonna have to send out a search party,” Chris greeted her with a smile, and Gregorio gave him one of her patented bitchfaces in return.

“I got caught in traffic,” she lied, and watched his face for any signs of disbelief as she made her way to her desk. She clocked the slight raise of his eyebrows, his posture lengthening, and reminded herself to adjust her tone when she was lying.

“Didn’t think there was hardly any traffic on Bourbon Street,” Chris commented, and Tammy turned to place her bag next to her desk and start up her computer. It was easier to lie to someone when she didn’t have to face them.

“There isn’t usually,” she replied, keeping her tone light and casual. “Guess today was my lucky day.”

“Guess so,” Chris responded, and Tammy turned around just in time to see him giving her one of his famous, milliwatt smiles. She grinned back, bumping his shoulder playfully on her way into the kitchen. One down, two to go.

By the time she caught up with Pride and Sonja, it was almost midday, and the hot, humid weather prompted a picnic invite from Pride to eat lunch at the bridge in town. Chris, Sonja, and the others all agreed, leaving Gregorio as the odd one out. She knew she couldn’t decline without offering an explanation, lest they become suspicious of her motives, but she couldn’t accept the invitation when she knew either Chris or Sonja would try to roll up her sleeves the second they arrived, either to tease her or out of care for her wellbeing. Refusing their help against potential heatstroke when it was summer in the middle of New Orleans was a one-way ticket to having her secret revealed.

“Tammy, you’re not going to lunch with us?” Percy pouted, her eyebrows drawn up in that Percy way, that said she was more concerned than disappointed, but was too proud to put voice to her feelings. “Come on, don’t you want to hang with the gang?”

“As much as I would love to ‘hang with the gang’,” Gregorio used air quotes and gave Sonja a playful smirk, “I have a prior obligation.”

“Oooh, someone’s got a hot date,” Chris said, walking into the kitchen with an ice chest for their drinks. “So who is it, Gregorio? Black-haired beauty? Feisty redhead? That’s my type.”

“Excuse you,” Percy retorted, raising her eyebrow in his direction.

“Pardon me,” Chris corrected, giving Sonja a fond smile, “That’s usually my type.”

“Better,” Sonja affirmed, before turning her attention to Gregorio once more. “But seriously, T, where you goin’ that you can’t come hang with us?”

“Well, Chris wasn’t exactly wrong,” Gregorio replied, lifting her coffee mug to her lips to take a sip so she could avoid having to look either of them in the eyes. “A certain mayor’s secretary asked me out the other day, and I can’t leave her hanging a second time.” Though it was a lie that they had a lunch date, it wasn’t a lie that she’d been asked out, so Gregorio didn’t feel as bad as she maybe should for using Amber as her scapegoat.

“With that one, you better not,” Chris replied, chuckling. “I’ve heard she’s got some high standards.”

“Of course she does,” Gregorio retorted without missing a beat. “She’s going on a date with me, isn’t she?”

Sonja and Chris both laughed at that, the latter ribbing her good-naturedly for a minute or two before they calmed down. She allowed her smirk to play on her lips, knowing she could pass it off as satisfaction at her joke instead of her lie. They weren’t suspicious of her anymore, not after she’d thrown them a bone. For now, she was safe.

~ ~ ~

Later that night, when the team was getting ready to wrap up and head home, Pride caught her eye, gesturing her into the kitchen. Tammy dropped her bag and took a deep breath, heading in to meet him. She could feel her heart skip a beat.

Of all of them, Pride was the most likely to figure out that something was wrong, even if he was the least likely to react with anything other than kind, calm patience. Still, the idea of her boss finding out her most guarded secret was more terrifying than she could fathom.

Without speaking or otherwise acknowledging Pride, Gregorio took a seat on the barstool across from him, crossed her arms, and waited. She could feel her heart pounding in her throat, but forced herself to be motionless and keep her expression blank, lest she give away the anxiety she was feeling.

“So, Gregorio,” Pride said, taking in her position and folding his arms across the top of the bar, “Want to tell me what’s going on with you?”

“Nothing,” Gregorio replied defensively, before she could stop herself and try to temper her tone. “What makes you think something’s going on?”

Pride raised an eyebrow at her, unimpressed. “Well, for starters, you came in late today, said it was traffic when traffic is nonexistent on your street, you’re actin’ awful odd, and then you lied to Christopher and Sonja about who you were with for lunch today.”

Gregorio opened her mouth to protest, but before she could, Pride held up his hand and continued, “I have it on good authority that the mayor’s secretary didn’t leave her office all day.” He softened, giving her a worried look, and said, “Just want to know you’re okay, and if anything’s goin’ on that we can help with.”

“It’s nothing,” Gregorio sighed, letting her shoulders slump in defeat. There was no use pretending she was fine if Pride already knew something was up. She didn’t have to tell him everything, but maybe if she told him about her mom, at least, he’d leave her alone.

“Just a little upset from a phone call with my mother yesterday,” Gregorio admitted, picking at her nails to avoid meeting Pride’s eyes. “I came out to her.”

Pride nodded, his eyes filling with support and kindness for her, and moved to wipe down the kitchen counter, in an effort to give her space to talk as much as she wanted to. Gregorio knew the tactic, was familiar with it from teasing the truth out of LaSalle when he was being particularly stubborn. Though she was loathe to admit it, she appreciated it. “How did she take it?”

“Not well,” Tammy sighed, pressing her nail into the pad of her thumb to resist the urge to burst into tears again. She had already done enough crying in the past 24 hours. “She basically gave me an ultimatum; stop being gay, or stop coming home. Permanently.”

“Oh, Tammy,” Pride breathed, sympathy pouring out of him and into her. “I’m so sorry.” He reached across the bar to lay a hand on her shoulder, and against her will, Tammy leaned into the touch.

“It’s okay,” she murmured, closing her eyes to avoid letting Pride see how glossy they had become. “W-We were never really close.”

“Still, that’s gotta hurt,” Pride said, withdrawing just enough to allow her time to fight back the tears and open her eyes once more. “Parents’ rejection is…one of the worst things that can happen to a child. No matter how old they are.”

“Yeah,” Tammy breathed, the weight of her own exhaustion hitting her as she slumped on the barstool. She couldn’t remember the last time she had let something damage her like this. Who knew her mother’s decision would have such an impact on her? She sighed and tugged lightly on one of her sleeves, until it was down far enough on her arm to cover her fingers. Pride caught the movement, but said nothing. “To make matters worse, she tried to frame it like she loved me, and she was going to be there for me.” Tammy laughed bitterly, emotion swelling up in her throat. “She’s so convinced I’m going to change, Pride.”

“Not the way it works,” Pride said fondly, giving her a warm smile. His hand, still on her shoulder, was like a grounding wire, keeping her settled, and she felt like she was being comforted by the father she never had.

“Yeah,” Tammy said, again, and her voice wobbled on the last syllable. Under Pride’s kind, supportive words and gentle ministrations, she could feel the dam in her chest threatening to explode, and she slid sideways off of the barstool, grabbing for her coat and heading towards the door. She had to get out of here, before she lost it completely. “Anyway, I should go - ”

“Wait,” Pride called, and moved to follow her, grabbing her wrist to stop her from leaving. Without thinking, still trying to calm the tidal wave of emotion in her chest, Gregorio hissed in pain.

“Tammy,” Pride said slowly, releasing her wrist with some reluctance, “There something wrong with your arm?”

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Tammy replied, giving him a quick, panicked smile. “Just bruised it on the countertop when I was getting ready for work this morning.”

“That so?” Pride asked, and he sounded suspicious enough to make Tammy’s heart skip a beat in fear. She curled her fingers around her sleeves protectively. “Mind if I take a look at it?”

“Don’t bother,” Gregorio replied, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. “I told you, Pride, it’s nothing.”

“Didn’t sound like nothing,” Pride replied, and he reached for her wrist again. Determined not to give anything away, Tammy kept her face purposefully blank, allowing him to hold her arm in his hand even as his fingers pressing against the cuts felt like a sharp knife against her skin. “Thing is, Tammy…” Pride moved to grasp her sleeve, and Gregorio’s entire body tensed, waiting for his next move. This was not happening.

“You haven’t worn long sleeves this dark, especially during summer, all year,” he continued, “and that first time we talked, up on the balcony in your hotel when you first came here – you wore a tank top, and I don’t think you thought about it then, but I noticed something the others didn’t get the chance to see.” He lifted his gaze to meet Gregorio’s eyes, and she knew, without having to ask what he meant, that she was done for.

Pride knows.

“I’ve seen the scars on your wrists, Tammy,” Pride said softly, “And I’ve never mentioned it, because it’s not my business and I don’t want you to think I’m judging you for it. But if your arm is hurt…after all you’ve been through in the past few days, you understand why I need to check, right?”

Tammy nodded tightly, trying not to cry, as Pride moved to roll up her sleeve. At the last second, just before he could grab the cuff of her shirt, she blurted out: “And what do you think you’ll find, if you check?”

“I think you and I both know the answer to that,” Pride responded, his voice as kind and understanding as ever. Tammy choked on a sob, losing the battle against her emotions, and pulled away from him, running her hands through her hair so hard that she was sure she’d left red, inflamed scratches on her scalp. She heaved a deep breath and choked on it, trying to hold in the breakdown that wanted to happen, fighting to remain in control. Pride couldn’t see her like this. No one could.

“Just - Just please don’t demote me,” Tammy begged, straightening up and gasping for breath, wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans. “D-Don’t put me on desk duty. I can still handle myself in the field, I promise I’m not a liability, Pride.”

“We’ll talk about that later,” Pride said, and her heart sank. “For now, we need to get you taken care of.” He glanced at his watch, and muttered, “Loretta might still be here, I’d have to check the morgue.”

“No – please,” Gregorio pleaded, embarrassment creeping up to settle like fire on her cheeks. “No one else needs to know about this.”

“They do, Tammy,” Pride argued, raising his eyebrows at her. “They’re your teammates. Your family. They care about you. Of course they should know about this.”

“Please,” Tammy said, raising her arms to hug herself, trying to get some semblance of comfort in the least embarrassing or incriminating way possible.

“Look,” Pride said, gesturing for her to sit down across from him in the kitchen once more, taking a seat opposite her on the island, “I know you’re scared. You’re worried about what the others might think. But they love you, Tammy, and they want to help you. I do too.”

“What if they hate me?” Tammy breathed, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. She knew she looked like a wreck, pathetic even, but this was her worst nightmare come true and she couldn’t pretend anymore. “Pride, I’m weak.” She gestured haphazardly at her arms, at herself, and shook her head, avoiding his gaze by staring down the marble kitchen tile. “They’ll see me differently.”

“Maybe so,” Pride conceded, “but not in the way you think. They won’t consider you weak, Tammy. I don’t.” He reached out to lay his hand on her arm, comforting and grounding her with the touch. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, Gregorio.”

“Even now that you know I - ” Tammy gestured to her arms once more, at a loss for words. “ - Again?”

“Even now,” Pride confirmed, giving her a firm nod and a steady look that swore honesty. “Tammy, no one on this team will think any less of you for struggling with this.”

“Promise?” Tammy whispered, letting some of the vulnerability she was feeling slip into her voice as she asked the question.

“Promise,” Pride affirmed, and gave her arm a soft, gentle pat.

Gregorio nodded, her shoulders slumping in relief as some of the tension was alleviated. “Do you have to tell them tonight?”

“No, not tonight,” Pride responded. “But soon.”

“I understand.” Gregorio looked away, the fear thundering back to life in her chest. For an instant, under Pride’s reassuring words, it had disappeared.

“It’s gonna be okay, Gregorio,” Pride promised her, moving from the opposite side of the bar to wrap her in a tight hug. “The team’ll take care of you.”

“Shouldn’t have to,” Gregorio protested weakly, but Pride shushed her with a hand in her hair, stroking gently.

“We want to,” he said, and Gregorio was struck with how much she wished he could have been her real dad. Maybe her future would’ve turned out better if he was. “This is somethin’ that everyone is more ‘n willin’ to help you with. We’re gonna get it taken care of. Got your back, Tammy, not just for work.”

“Thanks, Pride,” Gregorio whispered, too emotional to express her gratitude any further. She was sure Pride understood. In his arms, trembling, Gregorio could admit that maybe what she had really needed was the support and acceptance of her loved ones. Maybe her mother would never love her the way she was, but she had an entire family here in New Orleans that did.

Maybe that was what mattered.

And if, the next day, when Loretta called her down to the morgue and told Gregorio about her mother’s issues with self-harm while she bandaged the fresh cuts on Tammy’s arms, she felt a small piece of her heart begin to heal, she didn’t mention it. And if, when Sebastian gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and offered to call her and ramble about whatever came to mind when she was having urges, she started to tear up, well, no one could prove it (she had threatened Sebastian with removing his Power Rangers collection from the lab if he told anyone). And if, when Chris said nothing but drew her into the tightest hug she could ever remember receiving, and Percy showed up at her house without warning to sit on the couch with her and watch basketball, she began to realise this was all the family she needed, she knew she could blame Pride for most of it.

Getting clean again, and resisting the urge to take a blade to her arms whenever she felt like her world was falling apart, was a fight that took months, and she did end up on desk duty for some of it, but despite the silence that stretched between her and her mother, she found that the most important thing was the family that she had right here.

Maybe she didn’t need what used to be her home when she had a better one here in New Orleans.

[missmitchieg]

gays on a plane

Now on ao3.

Aaron grimaced as he shifted restlessly in his plane seat, glancing at his sleeping teammates. They had almost another hour before the plane would land and he'd have to wake everyone. He had barely slept a wink, unable to stop seeing the horrors he'd witnessed on this case every time he shut his eyes.

"You couldn't sleep either, huh?" Emily whispered from her seat next to him, holding an ice pack to her swollen left eye. She had a small smile on her face, though, as she looked up at Aaron.

"No." Aaron sighed, his seemingly permanently furrowed brows wrinkling together as he frowned, trying to push away the thought of their latest unsub smacking Emily in the face with a gun. He shivered, rubbing a hand against his own eye.

With a small smile, Emily's eyebrows raised in empathy. "Hope you can get to sleep when you're home with your son."

Oh, how cute. "Hope your eye heals quickly." Aaron replied, loathing to see anyone he cares about in pain.

"I'll be fine, Hotch." Emily assured him. "Trust me, I've had way worse." She reminded him, tucking hair behind her right ear.

"That doesn't mean this is ok." Aaron scowled. "He hurt you."

Emily's eyes softened, her hand reaching up to squeeze Aaron's shoulder gently. "I'll heal." She whispered.

Aaron sighed, the left corner of his lips turning up into a smile. "I know." He replied. "Look. I'm trying to be better. I don't want my team to see me as a drill Sargent or a-" his smile faltered as he recalled what JJ had said about him. "I don't want to be a bully anymore."

Emily fell silent for a minute as she contemplated what to say to Aaron. She watched him, chewing on her bottom lip. "You're trying. That's what matters." She decided would suffice, relaxing against him.

Aaron scoffed. "That's what Garcia said, too."

"See? She agrees with me."

Aaron laughed softly. "She's too sweet."

"She is." Emily nodded.

"But then, so are you."

"Eh." Emily waved him off, growing serious quickly. "Hotch. You are not your father."

"You don't know that. You never met him."

"I don't need to have met him to know you're a better man than he ever was. Aaron. Listen to me. You are nothing like your father."

Lips in a tight line, Aaron gave a slight nod. He didn't know if he believed her, but he wasn't about to start an argument.

Emily hummed at that. "You know, if my mother knew you better, she'd probably try to set us up." she laughed.

"If my mother knew you at all, I think she'd be begging me to marry you already." Aaron snorted, shaking his head. "As if you would ever date me."

Emily tilted her head as she regarded Aaron, giving a shrug. "I dunno. If I was straight, I think I'd be into you." She said casually.

"Really?" Aaron's voice was soft as he looked at her.

"Mm-hmm." Emily mumbled, answering a text from Penelope as her phone buzzed. Belatedly, she realized she just accidentally came out to her boss, turning to him quickly. "I mean- I, umm..."

"Prentiss." Aaron held a hand up, stopping her panic right there. "It's ok. I won't tell anyone else." He promised, keeping his voice at a whisper.

Emily huffed softly in relief, slumping in her seat. "Thank you."

"It would be unbecoming of me to judge you, or worse, out you when I haven't even told my team that I'm bi." He said simply, surprising the brunette. He hopped up as he heard whimpering and mumbling from JJ, walking toward the sleeping blonde.

"Hotch... Spence is... In trouble. Gotta help him." She worried, squirming restlessly.

"Hey, JJ. It's alright. Reid's safe. We're all ok." Aaron whispered gently, running a hand through her hair. "Reid is safe."

"Safe?"

Emily watched the touching moment unfold in front of her, biting her lip to stop herself from cooing at the care in his voice and touch.

"It's ok. It's over." Aaron promised, walking back to his seat after JJ had calmed down considerably. "Sorry about that."

"That was so sweet." Emily blurted out, smiling at his blush.

"I just care about my team." He said simply and shrugged. "They're like my kids. Well, except Dave."

Emily chuckled at that, wincing as her swollen eye crinkled painfully.

Aaron cringed, handing her a warm compress. "The doctor advised alternating between cold and warm." He reminded her.

"Yes, he did." Emily nodded. "So you and Dave..." She trailed off, giving him a knowing look.

Aaron couldn't help the smile overtaking his face, ducking his head. "Yes."

"He treats you well?" She inquired.

Aaron sighed, a dreamy look in his eyes. "He's amazing, Prentiss. I dunno how his last three lovers could ever leave him."

Emily chuckled. "Good."

Aaron smirked. "I know what you're thinking. You won't need to make a crime scene look like an accident anytime soon."

Emily's smile grew at that. "You sound certain."

"I am." Aaron confirmed. "Though, if your mother ever does come back, I would happily pretend to be your boyfriend. I would just have to warn him first."

"And if your mother ever came around, I would pretend to be your girlfriend." Emily nodded. "It would just be like going undercover." She shrugged.

Aaron nodded, giving Emily a quick high five.

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

We Fell in Love in October, chapter 15 - October 15th: Fake Wedding

For @gaelic-symphony

Summary: Penelope needs help with a project

Chapter word count: 834

Total word count: 15,601

Can also be read here on Ao3

"I need help," Penelope told Emily and Tara.

"Asking Luke out?" Tara guessed hopefully.

"What? No. This is school-related."

Emily groaned. "Ugh. Boring. What's up?"

"So I have a Media Arts project due tomorrow –"

"Penelope!" Emily and Tara exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, I know! Anyway, the project is to recreate a historic event, and so I selected the legalization of gay marriage, so I need to film a fake wedding and I need some brides. Want to help?"

Tara and Emily looked at each other, shrugged, then looked back to Penelope. "Sure, why not?"

"Great! Come over after school, and be in costume."

***

When Tara showed up at Penelope's backyard after school that day wearing a suit, Emily, who was already there and sitting in a white dress she'd found in her closet, nearly fell over. "Jesus Christ," she said, breathless.

"Did I make you have a gay panic?" Tara teased.

"Yes," Emily replied, face flushed bright red. 

"Okay people," Penelope called. "Since it's everyone's here, it's time to get into positions and get started. Spencer, you're the officiant, so stand under the canopy, or gazebo, or whatever it is."

Spencer went and stood under the wooden structure that was always draped in beautiful flowers.

"Yes, that's the one, good. Alright, Derek, you're giving away Emily, Luke, you're giving away Tara, so please pair up with your brides and then head inside, stand by the back door please."

The boys took the girls' arms and followed Penelope's directions. "Wonderful. Okay, Will and Kristy, you guys are going to be the audience, so if you could just sit or stand wherever, it's fine. JJ, you're the flower girl, so we're going to start with you."

Penelope turned on her camera and filmed as JJ marched down the "aisle," tossing flower petals as she went. After that had been shot, she went and stood by Will and Kristy. 

"Perfect," Penelope said. "Matt, our ring bearer, it is your time to shine."

Matt grabbed his little pillow that had some of Penelope's costume rings on it. "Do you want me to walk down the aisle on me knees so I'm short like a child?"

"Do you want to walk down the aisle on your knees?"

He looked almost sheepish. "… Yes."

"Then let's do it."

Penelope flipped her camera on again, and Matt shuffled through the backyard on his knees, a childish grin on his face. 

Once that was shot, Penelope went to the back door to give her brides some direction. "All right, Tara, we're going to start with you and Luke, then Derek and Emily, you'll follow."

"Do you have anything specific you want us to say for our 'vows?'" Emily asked.

"No, just make some stuff up, feel free to be as sappy as all shit. The sappier the better." 

Penelope went back to her post behind the camera, then, as instructed, Luke walked Tara down the aisle, followed by Derek and Emily. When both girls arrived at the end of the aisle they took each other's hands and smiled at her. 

"Tara," Spencer said. "Do you take this woman to be your wife?"

"I do."

"You may recite your vows."

"Emily, from the moment I met you, I knew I was going to fall in love with you. You are the most amazing person I've known. I can't wait to be your wife."

Emily pretended to wipe away tears, then pulled Tara's hands up to her mouth and placed a kiss along her knuckles.

Spencer turned to her. "Emily, do you take this woman to be your wife?"

"I do."

"You may recite your vows."

"Tara, you are absolutely beautiful, inside and out, and you make me so happy. I'm so glad I get to do this with you."

"May we have the rings?" Spencer asked.

Matt shuffled back up, still on his knees, and presented the ring pillow to the "brides," who took the rings and placed them on each other's fingers.

"I know pronounce you wife and wife," Spencer stated. "You may kiss the bride."

Tara and Emily laid a kiss on each other's cheek, then Penelope panned the camera to the "crowd," who were all cheering and clapping. "And cut!" Penelope called, stopping the video. "That was awesome, thank you so much, guys!" 

Hugs were exchanged and people left, but Luke remained behind. 

"What are you still doing here, Newbie?"

"I thought I'd stay and help clean up," he said.

"You don't need to, it's fine, I can do it."

"I know. I'm not saying you can't do it yourself, I'm saying you shouldn't have to. You decorated your dad's backyard for a fake wedding. Besides, many hands makes light work, and the sooner we clean up the sooner you can get to editing to finish the project."

"Okay, you make se valid points." She smiled softly at him, letting her "fluffy armor" crack a bit. "Thank you."

He smiled back at her warmly. "You're welcome. I'm always here to help."

[juvederm]

complaining abt ashley haters

i've narrowed it down to three categories of people who hate ashley

1. climbing class shipper

2. emily stan

3. chris stan

disclaimer: obviously not all emily stans, not all chris stans, not all climbing class shippers, blah blah blah (i like chris, emily is my favorite and i like climbing class so the last thing i'd do is shit on any of these things as a real hater)

the climbing class shippers usually hate her bc she gets in the way of their cute gay ship. they either say they love her (fake as fuck), hc her as a lesbian just as means to not ship her w chris cuz he's saved for josh, or they hate her for killing chris. climbing class shippers don't really know shit abt any of the characters, they severely mischaracterize ashley, josh and chris. more negatively on ashley bc they think of her as the root of all evil. they also view josh as some little accessory or token, only made to be chris's boyfriend and vice versa. seriously, chris and josh are just boyfriends and that's it. no character Or if they do somehow add character it's extremely out of line and horribly written

emily stans hate ashley bc of the bite thing. that's it. even if mike can literally murder emily, it's still ashley's fault. they'll more than likely make shit up abt ashley to fit their narrative, and end up getting most things completely wrong. they also just neglect the fact of like. trauma and mental health. that's not to say emily deserved any of the treatment her friends gave her, because she also started to panic and reel from almost being shot (see the gif of her curling up in a ball) emily stans don't rly gaf abt like the complexities of the mental trauma all the characters had gone thru at that point, and just shit on ashley like she wanted to murder emily herself

and the chris stans act the same way. it's usually men hating on ashley for killing him when it's literlaly your choice to shoot her or not. making an out of character decision for chris gets him punished. they're also similar to the emily stans when it comes to mental health, they don't understand ashley's been through a lot even tho they spent the whole game watching her stress unfold. she's unpredictable, as said by the devs, and yes killing chris was on purpose, he's running at her with a gun, he lied to her, and there was a monster chasing him and who knows if she even thought the thing was real or not. we don't know what's going thru her mind because she's that broken

and i reblogged a post that said something about hating female characters for the same traits a male character has. most people feel sympathy for josh when he reaches his breaking point in the mines and starts experiencing psychosis. josh has been through a lot of trauma and stress, trauma that starts because of the events of The Prologue. but when ashley is under stress and severely traumatized (something that josh is responsible for), she's a whiny bitch. and yes i know their situations aren't exactly comparable, but nobody ever felt sympathy for her after she literally can watch josh get sawed in front of her. even if it was fake, she had no way of knowing. she reacted to it as if it were real and it affected her accordingly.

ashley is jumpy and emotional, she's not like chris who shuts down and becomes more non verbal as the stress piles on. she's reactive, anxious and stressed out. she's not gonna think clearly at all, that's why you see her jump to conclusions. she thinks the ghost thing is real for crying out loud, like she's not in her right mind at all. when josh brings up the spirit board, she sounds unimpressed. but when things get turned up a notch, her anxiety goes through the roof and she becomes very reactive. she goes from unimpressed by the board to apologizing profusely to hannah or beth's "ghost" during the seance

like people hate her for how she deals w her trauma, how she reacts when she literally has never been in a situation like this before, just like everyone else. this is all a new and frightening situation, which is why it's a horror game brah. i swear ashley haters just don't even stop to understand her or even try, they just sit there and make shit up and it's legit so irritating. like gtfo if you don't get her writing or character

side note, i've never met a josh stan who hates ashley (on the topic of climbing class) i don't doubt that they exist but josh stans aren't included in the climbing class category bc climbing class shippers don't even think of josh as a character, like i said, they just view him as chris's boyfriend. actual josh stans who like josh for him typically like ashley in my experience. just felt the need to mention that since i'm like known as josh's number one fan

but also-- emily is my favorite, so me defending ashley isn't me shitting on emily. that's the last thing i'd do. this UD shit gets serious prepare to die behind it <- that's how i defend emily brah. i'm kinda preaching to the choir here bc most of my mutuals like ashley, but i'm just saying it bc it was on my mind

i'm probably gonna get more into an ashley character analysis (and by proxy chris bc i compare their reactions a lot) at some point and just say my thoughts abt her bc i genuinely love her so much i could cry :( i hate seeing such hateful opinions on her bc she's very relatable.

also if it wasn't clear, the root of all this shit has to be misogyny or something like it's crazy to me how the male characters can be as worse as ever and then get off the hook (mike literally killing emily) but ashley is the devil. emily is the devil. like it's so stupid.

anyway rambling over. yes i'm applying for jobs don't even try it

[invisibleraven]

from the best friends to lovers prompts: "you're upset and disappear for a couple hours, and i'm the only one who knows where to find you (which is at the location we always hung out at as children)" for peterpatter please? ☺️

Warnings for implied/referenced homophobia

After years of friendship with Luke, Reggie is used to getting phone calls from him at all hours of the day. So he doesn't think much of it when his phone goes off almost on the wrong side of midnight one evening.

"Yo man, what's up?"

"Reginald, this Emily Patterson, is Luke with you?"

Reggie flushed and let out a little cough. "Oh, no. sorry Mrs. P, I haven't seen Luke all day."

Emily sighed. "Yes, neither have I. If he ends up with you, can you please let him know I'm worried? I just want to talk to him, make sure he's okay." Then she whispered, almost like it wasn't for Reggie's ears, "I just want to say sorry."

"I'll let him know ma'am." With that the call ended, and Reggie knew that he had to go find Luke. After fighting with his mom, he always got stubborn and his away, sneaking in and out for a few days until the argument was forgotten.

The problem was where to find Luke.

The studio was being fumigated, so that was out. Bobby was on a vacation with his lola, and none of them tried Alex's house anymore, not after how badly his coming out went.

Luke wasn't a fan of breaking and entering, so usual places like the arcade or the mall were no goes. Finally Reggie pulled on his leather jacket and looked out his window, pondering when he saw the light from the ancient treehouse in his backyard.

He and the guys had built the treehouse when he first moved to LA, and spent many a boisterous afternoon there until they discovered music and moved their hang outs to the garage. Alex had been relieved, not really trusting the carpentry skills of four ten year olds, always terrified the floor would collapse from under them. But here they were, almost eight years later, and the rickety thing was still standing.

Reggie shimmied out his window, thankful his parents were either asleep or too drunk to notice him slipping out in the middle of the night. The ladder to the treehouse gave an ominous creak as he started to scale it, but with a gulp, Reggie kept climbing.

"Was wondering how long it would take someone to find me," Luke commented when Reggie's head popped up through the hole. "Let me guess, my mom called and I'm in big trouble?"

Reggie pulled himself up into the small space, wondering if it always felt so cramped up here, if it had always groaned when his weight shifted, and if the light from Luke's little lantern made the ambience more spooky or intimate.

"She's worried man. Said something about being sorry?" Reggie offered.

"Huh," Luke said, after a moment. "Will wonders never cease? Didn't think she was capable of feeling that particular emotion."

"What was the fight about this time?"

"What is it ever about dude? Music, it always comes back to music. My grades are low because I'm too focused on playing. Chores aren't done, or they aren't good enough because I lost track of time writing. I come out, and it's rock and roll's corrupting influence," Luke ranted.

"You came out to your parents before telling any of us?" Reggie asked, mildly hurt. They told each other everything, first and foremost. Alex had a near panic attack telling them he was gay, but their reaction had bolstered him to tell his parents, despite their less than stellar reaction. Bobby had let them know he wasn't interested in anyone, and didn't think he ever would be, and they found a way to tell Celia together.

"It wasn't exactly planned," Luke grumbled. " They got on my case about taking some nice girl from church to some stupid social function, and I told them I was much more interested in dating... well not her. I told them I like everyone, regardless of gender, but right now my heart belonged to someone specific, and that someone was a guy. My mom didn't react well. So I ran."

Reggie blew out a breath, and opened his arms to Luke, who rushed into them, the two of them holding each other tight, and stilling when the treehouse groaned and creaked once more. "Shit, that sucks dude. I always thought your parents would be cool about it."

Luke sniffled at that. "So did I. Maybe if I had done it another way... now it's forever tainted. I dunno."

They sat there in silence for a moment, and Reggie smirked as Luke looked up at him. "So... who's the lucky guy? Is it Alex? Oooh, no, it's Sven from the Satellite isn't it? Or maybe that cute drummer from that band we opened for last month.... Lyle? Kyle? Whatever. Or maybe the silver fox who owned that club we tried to get coerced into playing for what amounted to our souls?"

Luke laughed at that, but sobered quickly, his gaze serious as he looked at Reggie. "No, none of them."

"Then who?"

Luke cocked his head to the side, "Reg... don't you know it's you?"

"Me?" Reggie squeaked. "B-but... you've never said anything!"

Luke shrugged at that. "I'm saying now. I like you Reggie. I want to be with you. Go on dates, kiss you goodnight, be the most epic duet together."

Reggie slumped his head into his hands at that. "Only you would confess to liking someone with a music analogy."

"So..." Luke trailed off, biting his lip and clenching his fists.

"Of course I like you too Luke! I've liked you for forever, but I didn't want to mess with the dynamic of the band, so I just shoved it down. I never thought... that you could ever like me back."

At that, Luke threw himself into Reggie's arms, knocking the two of them down into a giggling embrace. The treehouse gave the loudest groan yet, and the two of them shared a concerned look. "Okay, I vote we get out of here before this thing collapses with us inside of it," Reggie proposed. Luke nodded and the two of them scrambled down the ladder.

No sooner were they on the ground and half way back to Reggie's house when the treehouse creaked and with a shuddering BOOM, fell into pieces, littering the yard. Luke and Reggie watched the frame tumble to the ground with sober expressions.

"Well that's the end of an era," Luke commented.

Reggie reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers. "That's okay, we can always build a new one. New era, new treehouse."

"So what now?" Luke asked, swinging their hands between them.

"Well unless that woke up my folks, I say we go inside, and call your mom. And tomorrow, you take me out on our first date," Reggie suggested.

Luke grinned, and leaned in to press a chaste peck to Reggie's cheek, then started pulling him towards Reggie's window. Giddy for what was to come, even with their past in a crumbling mess behind them, Luke had nothing but hope for the future.

[spencers-renaissance]

Emergency Contact

Summary: When Spencer ends up in the hospital again, his emergency contact — who happens to be his boyfriend, Luke Alvez — is called. Too bad he hasn't told the team about him yet...

Tags: whump, h/c, hurt spencer, broken ribs, coming out, relationship reveal, protective derek, team as family, fluff, au: different first meeting

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid // (heavy on the Derek & Spencer friendship, too)

Word Count: 2.6k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // Bad Things Happen Bingo

Okay, so Emily was not in S11, but for this fic she is, because I wanted supportive Penemily and that's what I gave myself. Other than that, this fills the square "broken ribs" for my Bad Things Happen bingo card. Enjoy the whump mixed with fluff!

Spencer doesn’t mean to get hurt again, but he also isn’t exactly surprised when it happens. If anything, Hotch really needs to stop sending him out to scope places and suspects out by himself. Surely Tobias Hankel proved he’s a trouble magnet in that regard years ago.

The summerhouse the suspect rents is a nice enough place to lay incapacitated while he waits for back-up, he supposes, but he’s not exactly able to lie and enjoy the sunshine when his ribs have been smashed in with a metal baseball bat and he knows the suspect is currently hightailing it down the beach. Not to mention the fact that it’s worryingly difficult to breathe.

Still, it’s better than a dilapidated cabin in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere Georgia, pumped full of heroin while his feet are whipped. Small mercies.

“Goddamnit, Spencer, again?” Derek asks amusedly when he finally arrives and crouches down by his side, but the undercurrent of worry in his voice doesn’t elude him.

“Sorry,” he wheezes, still winded and in immense pain from the ambush. “I didn’t see him coming.”

Derek raises a brow, chuckling slightly. “Yeah, pretty boy, I figured that.” His hand goes to Spencer’s hair as his expression furrows in concern again. “Did you see where he went? I’ll send the others after him while I go with you to the hospital.”

Spencer smiles a little, relieved that he won’t be alone. It’s become a strange sort of tradition to sit in one another’s hospital rooms after the job kicks their ass, and he’s glad Derek isn’t about to break it now.

“I saw him turn right out of the backdoor, but that’s all,” he says breathlessly, before cringing at the effort and folding in on himself even more.

“Okay, Spencer,” Derek says soothingly. “Just relax. The ambulance will be here any second.”

He obeys and closes his eyes as he listens to Derek call Hotch on the radio and send the team in the right direction before coming back to sit next to him on the floor.

“This might be one of the nicer places one of our unsubs has owned, huh?”

Spencer nods, mirroring Derek’s morbid amusement. “Crime pays better than investigating it,” he manages, smiling up at his friend.

He snorts. “You can say that again. With the way the market’s turned in the last couple years it’s more like this is my hobby and my properties are my day job, rather than the other way round.”

Spencer tries to reply, but he moves involuntarily in amusement, and a fresh wave of pain has him wincing again, trying to will the tears away.

“You’re alright, Spence,” Derek says gently, his hand returning to his hair. “Help will be here soon, okay?”

Thankfully, the medics do show up in a semi-timely fashion, and both of them are loaded into the back of the ambulance as the EMTs check him over, Derek’s hand not leaving his person unless it absolutely has to.

“How many times were you hit, Dr Reid?”

He cringes. “Four.” It’s almost embarrassing that the unsub got four hits in, and the only reason there weren’t more is because he was fleeing the scene, not because Spencer was able to fight back. He tries to remind himself that there isn’t much you can do when caught-off guard by a furious arsonist armed with a steel baseball bat, but his ego is still bruised. Albeit not as badly as his poor ribs.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Derek mutters under his breath, his grip tightening on Spencer’s shoulder minutely enough for him to know he isn’t doing it consciously.

Spencer smiles appreciatively, closing his eyes against the pain. The non-narcotic painkillers they’re feeding him through the IV really aren’t doing anything.

“I think you’ve managed to avoid internal bleeding,” the EMT says, all though he tacks on a pointed, “just. But I’m concerned about the possibility of a punctured lung. There’s a chance your trouble breathing is solely pain-induced, but I don’t like the way your chest sounds. The doctors will check everything out when we get to the hospital, and get you all patched up.”

“Hold in there,” Derek says urgently. “I really can’t have you dying on me, pretty boy.”

Spencer smiles as comfortingly as he can through the immense pain in his chest and his mangled breathing. “Trust me, I don’t intend on it.”

The x-ray reveals two broken ribs and confirms the paramedic’s suspicions of a punctured lung, although thankfully, minor enough to not require surgery. He’s set up with oxygen and regular nurse check-ups in a quiet room after the doctor is able to remove the excess air in his chest cavity.

“How are you doing, Spence?” Derek asks worriedly as he pulls up a chair next to Spencer’s bed as soon as he’s allowed to see him.

He pulls away his oxygen facemask to answer. “A bit better,” he says, but his voice is dry and raspy from the oxygen so he certainly doesn’t sound it. “The pain meds are actually working now.”

Derek’s tight, anxious expression relaxes slightly. “That’s at least something.”

Spencer nods tiredly, but before he can respond, a nurse is popping her head round the door. “Dr. Reid,” she says genially, “sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know that we’ve managed to get a hold of your emergency contact, and they’re on their way.”

Spencer’s eyes widen. How could he have forgotten? Granted, he was a little preoccupied with the whole punctured lung, broken ribs thing, but how could he have let it slip his mind that this little accident would lead to the secret he’s been keeping under wraps getting out?

When he’d first met Luke at an FBI gala last year, he never could have foreseen the most intimate and special relationship of his life coming to fruition, but it had. They’d connected on so many different levels, and the chemistry between them felt like something out of one of the fantastical romance novels Penelope reads, and when he’d asked if it was okay for Spencer to put Luke down as his updated emergency contact, he’d been rewarded with a wide, beautiful grin and a firm, heartfelt kiss.

It was serious enough, sure, and they were coming up on having been together for a year, but besides Emily and Penelope — who’d met Luke and developed an amusing, playful rivalry with him — he hadn’t introduced him to anyone on the team.

“On their way?” Derek asks, raising an eyebrow in mild confusion. “Isn’t your contact Hotch? He already knows you’re in the hospital.”

Spencer just stares at him like a rabbit caught in the headlights, completely blanking on something to say. They’re working a local case, so it won’t be long before Luke is bursting into his hospital room armed with cuddles and comfort, and as much as he craves that, he’s too busy panicking about his team finding out to really look forward to it.

Eventually, after watching Derek’s face morph into even stronger, more suspicious confusion, he gives up. They’re going to find out anyway. “I’m dating someone.”

Derek’s face lights up. “Pretty boy!” he exclaims happily, playfully pushing his shoulder as gently as he can. “That’s amazing! Why didn’t you say something? What’s her name?”

Ah. That’s the primary reason he hadn’t told his team about Luke. He’s nowhere close to being ashamed about his sexuality, he accepted himself decades ago, but he’s still not worked up the courage to share that part of himself with his team. Excluding Penelope and Emily who have been together for years (he’s still baffled as to how the others haven’t caught on yet), everyone’s in the dark.

It had started as a basic survival tactic. He’d joined the FBI two years younger than the standard entry age in the early 2000s, and he was far too concerned with just getting by than living outwardly as a gay man. And then, as time went by and he knew his team was accepting and welcoming, he found it too awkward to try and correct people when they assumed he was straight. There just wasn’t ever the right time.

“I’m gay.”

Derek’s happy expression falls and for a split second, Spencer feels a flash of panic. Maybe Derek’s okay with gay people as long as they’re not his immediate friends, as long as he doesn’t playfully call them ‘pretty boy’ and play with their hair when they’re injured, maybe—

“Well, what’s his name, then?”

Spencer looks up from his panic, seeing Derek smiling again, eyes maybe even brighter than they were just seconds ago.

“Wait—”

“Spencer, if you think I’m gonna care that you’re gay — if you think any of us will care that you’re gay, then you have another thing coming,” Derek reassures him. “Wait, that isn’t why you didn’t tell us right?”

He suddenly looks distraught at the idea that Spencer might not have felt comfortable coming out to him, and Spencer rushes to correct him. “No! No, I know everyone would be fine with it, I just didn’t really know how to say it. Penelope and Emily know, but only by accident.”

Derek relaxes, chuckling a little. “I’m sure there’s quite a story there.”

Spencer blushes. “Maybe.”

“I’ll find out later,” he says confidently, winking at him, and something in Spencer loosens at the fact that Derek hasn’t changed his behaviour at all. “But I’m more interested in Mr. Sexy Emergency Contact Mystery Boyfriend Man right now.”

Spencer outright laughs at that, before wincing painfully as his ribs twinge, and he has to fit the oxygen mask around his face again and breathe deeply for a couple of breaths before the nasal cannula can suffice again.

“I met him around this time last year at an FBI gala actually,” Spencer manages. “Everyone on our team bailed except Penelope, Emily, and me. He’s called Luke and he works in the Fugitive Task Force. We just clicked as soon as we met, you know? We have this chemistry that I’ve never felt with anyone before, and we started dating pretty quickly. We actually moved in together last month when his lease was up, but we’re thinking of moving to a bigger, nicer place in Mount Pleasant. Luke’s actually had his eye on this one house that went up…”

He trails off when he notices Derek looking at him strangely, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “What?”

“Nothing,” Derek says gently. “You just look happy, pretty boy. When you started talking about Luke you got this happy, dopey smile on your face, and I’ve just never seen you like that. It’s nice.”

“Oh.” He blushes fiercely at the acknowledgement of just how soft he is for his boyfriend, but it’s not embarrassing, he’s just ridiculously happy and head over heels in love.

Still, feeling a little awkward at the attention, he raises the oxygen mask to his face just for something to do.

“Does he treat you well?” Derek asks seriously, suddenly looking like the FBI tough guy he really is.

Spencer grins and nods, pulling the mask away again. “So good. He’s one of those people that looks out for everyone before himself, you know? He listens to my rambles and tangents like he actually knows and cares about what I’m saying, and he insists on making me every meal we’re both home for. Every day off, he brings me breakfast in bed, and he’ll even suffer through my documentaries even though his favourite thing to watch is action movies. He’s the best boyfriend I could hope for.”

“Good,” Derek says fiercely, even though he’s smiling just a little at the thought of Spencer being taken care of. “But if anything ever changes, I won’t hesitate to—”

“Spencer?” Derek’s interrupted by the door flying over, and a very harried looking Luke Alvez rushing towards the bed, seemingly not noticing the man literally threatening his death right next to him. “Oh my God, Spencer, I was so worried, I thought—”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Spencer says, voice still a little weak. Can’t he at least sound convincing when he’s trying to tell these people that he’s fine? “I’m okay, I’ll be out of here before you know it.”

“Are you sure, baby? Do I need to get the doctor? Have they been looking after you, because I swear—”

“Luke,” he laughs, interrupting his worried tangent. “I’m fine, I promise.”

He watches amusedly as Luke sags with relief. “Oh thank God,” he breathes, and it’s then that he appears to notice Derek. “Oh, shit.”

He looks to Spencer with an alarmed look in his eyes, knowing full well that he isn’t out to his team yet, but before apologies can start dripping off his lips, he rushes to fill him in.

“It’s okay. I told him.”

Luke’s face brightens in an illuminating smile, his eyes wide and happy. “You did? I’m so proud of you, cariño.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Derek says, rising from his chair to shake Luke’s hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you in the last ten minutes.”

Luke grins. “All good things, I hope.”

Derek winks teasingly at Spencer. “Oh, better than good. Spencer here seems quite gone for you.”

He blushes again, but Luke just sits on the edge of his hospital bed and takes his face in his hand. “Well, I’m just as gone for him as he is for me. Probably even more so.”

“No way,” Spencer protests as vehemently as he can with an oxygen mask glued to his face again. “I definitely love you more.”

His words are half swallowed by the mask, and half muffled by the gaggle of FBI agents pouring into his room, all talking over one another loudly.

Luke jumps off the bed and stands to attention as they all quieten down, three of them in complete shock, one of them — Emily, recognising Luke — in anticipation of what’s about to happen.

“Uh,” Spencer starts unsurely, eyes flicking between his boyfriend and his team. “Meet my boyfriend?”

There’s a brief pause before everyone jumps into action again: Emily greeting him warmly, JJ introducing herself, and Hotch and Rossi giving him firm, threatening handshakes as a warning that no harm is to come to their pseudo-son.

Spencer knows they don’t have to worry about that, though, not with Luke, and they’re quickly shown that when he takes his rightful place sat on the edge of his hospital bed again, hands smoothing his hair gently.

“Thank you,” he says to Derek, voice soft and sincere as everyone’s sat leisurely around the room, doing their own thing now they’re calmed down after the initial meet and greet, “for taking care of him. I worry about him, you know, and it’s good to see that he has so many good people looking after him.”

“We all do,” Derek replies, looking over at Spencer fondly. “We’re all incredibly overprotective. Residual effects from him joining the team so young, probably.”

“I can see that,” Luke smiles, looking over at Hotch and Rossi, who still have their eyes trained on him, despite having warmed up to him quickly.

“Well between us all,” Emily interjects diplomatically, “I think we have Spencer covered. He has a lot of good people looking out for him.”

Spencer knows they all think he’s asleep, but he can’t help but say something. “I definitely do,” he slurs tiredly, causing Luke to quickly turn his attention to him, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead as he runs his fingers through his hair with the hand not intertwined with Spencer’s. “Love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” Luke murmurs. “And so does everybody in this room.”

Smiling softly and feeling safe as anything, Spencer finally gives into the heavy pull of tiredness, and lets himself drift off to sleep.

I'm such a sucker for coming out fics omg, I hope you didn't mind that element! But God, I've missed writing Ralvez fics. If anyone has any Ralvez prompts then please send them my way because I want to write them so badly but I really find it hard to find plot for them! <3

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @spencerspecifics @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @ropoto

[swiftgronmasterpost]

The Swiftgron Timeline Remastered

Hey Guys!  It’s Cam from @whatiwillsay

It’s high time the Swiftgron Masterpost was updated with more content and a cross reference of the Achele timeline and other newly learned information.

Now if you’re just looking to prove that Swiftgron is real to your friends click here for a more succinct summation of proof.  But if you want to read the sad, beautiful, tragic (no that’s not a Swiftgron song) story of Swiftgron, to go through the ups and downs, from the Hunger Games to SNL this is the place for you!

I was inspired to do this partially by this conversation.  TL;DR is there was some lively discourse in the fandom about who the breakup songs on Red are about.  

Personally, it doesn’t make sense to me for them to be about Dianna when the falling in love songs are obviously about her (mentions of green eyes, her name in the 22 liner notes, ect.)  For one quick example: the songs The Last Time and Come Back...Be Here were written and recorded right around the same time.

I’m sorry but I just cannot fathom those two songs being about the same person.  One is about the softest start to a relationship you’ve ever imagined - pining away and missing someone you barely know but are already infatuated with and the other is a gut wrenching heartbreak song about someone you’ve been on and off with for a long time.

Furthermore the Swiftgron masterpost and timeline was laid out by either Kaylors or general Gaylors, but no one who seems to have an in depth knowledge of Achele or even of Taylor’s relationships before Dianna, other than Emily which by all accounts ended in 2008.  

So I wanted to fill in all the blanks left open on the original Swiftgron masterpost to see if it’s possible that it missed anything.

Plenty of this data will still come from the original Swiftgron masterpost and shoutout to them for building such an amazing document!  It’s a great primer but it does gloss over a lot of events such as the Glee tour in the summer of 2011, the circumstances around all the early Swiftgron meetings, and the obvious Achele interactions through early winter 2012, and of course it’s missing all the weird late stage Swiftgron social media shenanigans.

I wanted to make this masterpost to be able to stand alone so I ripped some gif sets and other info (mostly on Achele) that I didn’t personally build because I don’t ever want anyone running into dead links.  If you see an edit or content you made that I haven’t credited please let me know and I will credit you or remove it if you really want me to.

The other reason I made this was I wanted to have one succinct and chronological place to store every single Swiftgron photo, video, or media of any other type.  If it’s Swiftgron related I will find it and add it here.  If I missed something you can let me know by reaching out to me on my usual blog @swiftgron-get-married. 

For those of you that are new to Gaylor here’s a few notes:

1.  If Taylor seems fruity to you it’s cause she does to everyone else.  Welcome.

2.  Swiftgron is the pairing of Taylor Swift and Dianna Agron.

3.  Achele is the pairing of Dianna Agron and Lea Michele.  It happened before Swiftgron (I think summer 2009 - Early 2012).  Achele was real 100%.  Go to Achele References on Tumblr for more info but just know I have reason to believe Achele actually dated beyond public information.  Take that with a grain of salt of course and look at the evidence for yourself.

4.  At some points in this document I reference a forum called The L Chat - that place is a wasteland of biphobia, transphobia, and other gross things but they did closely track Swiftgron and Achele.  I don’t recommend going there as it can be very triggering to some.  I have gone and pulled out relevant data so you don’t have to go there.

5.  There is a notion in the Gaylor fandom that Dianna was toxic, a serial cheater, and I’ve even heard the word “abusive” thrown around due to the fact that the breakup songs on Red do seem to be about a toxic relationship - Taylor has said as much.  

Given what I’ve heard about DIanna from people who have actually had contact with her - this would be incredibly out of character.  She does have the reputation of being a bit of a player but is literally famous for how kind, giving, compassionate, and amiable she is to fans, coworkers, and friends alike.

I believe that this document proves that due to events on the timeline that although Swiftgron definitely had their ups and downs (Babe definitely suggests at least one instance of a lack of faithfulness, and I’ve clocked at least two obvious breakups before Taylor commits to Karlie and the Swiftgron romance is over for good) however the idea that it was a completely toxic mess is just not supported by actual public data, gathered evidence, and Taylor’s own music and words.

With that enjoy!  The pandemic has done some weird things to people hasn’t it?  This what I did instead of going outdoors.  (I streamed Folklore six billion times while building this, honestly it was a blast!)

Click here to keep reading!

Orrrr 

If you want to skip all the preamble of Achele and Tayliz click here to jump into the Swiftgron Spring!

Table of Contents

Early Stages - Ships Passing in the Night

The 2011 Vanity Fair Oscar Party

Spring 2011 - The Achele of it All

The 2011 Met Gala Klossgron Extravaganza

Glee Live Tour Part 1 - Achele is ON

Glee Live Tour Part 2 - Rivergron in Paris

Glee Live Tour Part 3 - Seriously what the fuck was Shirtgate

Glee Tour Part 4 - Dianna’s Gay Panic Shirtgate Essay

Let’s Check In With Taylor - Speak Now Tour and Tayliz

Fairfax Flee Market - Finally Some Swiftgron!

Fall 2011 - Red and Achele winds down

Winter 2012 - Achele sunset / Swiftgron dawn

The Swiftgron Spring - Everything Changes

Shirley MacLaine’s Birthday

Dianna’s 26th Birthday

The Swiftgron Summer Part 1 - Dominick’s and The Glaad Awards

The Swiftgron Summer Part 2 - Hyiannis Port and The First Breakup

Fall 2012 - They Reuinte in Paris and Haylor Rises

Winter 2013 - The Beginning of the End

Spring 2013 - Fall 2013 - The End?

Winter 2014 - Taylor is Clean but then Swiftgron never goes out of Style

Late Stage Part 1 Spring 2014 - Winter 2018

Late Stage Part 2 Spring 2018 (Babe!) - Fall 2019 (SNL!)

Late Stage Part 3 Folklore Shenanigans 

Late Stage Part 4 Evermore!

[13uswntimagines]

Her Mess (Christen x Reader)

Request: Christen x reader where reader is younger and in college and reader meets the team

It was safe to say that you had always been a bit of a mess. You would argue that you were an organized mess, but Christen would disagree. If the gay mess you turned into the first time Mal had ever introduced you to her was anything to go off of. Yes, you were a mess, but you were her mess, and she took great joy in helping to keep you on track. 

From the very beginning, she had helped you with your schedule. Made sure you ate and gave yourself time for studying and soccer. She never overstepped, she was your girlfriend not your mother after all, but she was definitely the organized one in your relationship. 

It was why the prospect of traveling without her was incredibly daunting. She was already at camp with the rest of the national team (who you would be meeting for the first time) and you would be meeting them there with Mal after the two of you finished finals. To say you were nervous was an understatement. It was your first call up, and though your girlfriend and best friend had assured you it would be fine, you weren’t so sure. You had quadruple checked the list of things Christen and you had made, but even as you left the plane you were sure you had left something important. You were going to meet the team and you didn’t know if you were supposed to be meeting Christen too, or if you two were going, to be honest. 

You sighed, running your hand through your messy hair, before slipping your beanie back on. Your knee jumped up and down impatiently, and you bit your lip. You didn’t like waiting. Why did this car ride have to be so long?

“Do I need to call Mama Press or are you going to chill out on your own?” Mal said finally, her hand coming down to still your leg. You grinned sheepishly at her. 

“I just-... What if they don’t like me, and what if they’re weirded out by the age difference?” You rambled, your fingers tapping on the car window. 

“You’re like the funniest person I know. The team is going to love you! And I’ll be honest, It was a little weird at first for the person who was like my sister to be dating someone who was basically my mom. But after watching you two together, it’s obvious that you were made for each other,” Mal said softly, her hand running soothing circles on your thigh. You frowned. 

“What if she doesn’t want to tell them that she’s dating me because she’s ashamed of the age difference?” You asked softly, staring intently at your lap. Sure, Mal was cool with the age difference now, and so we’re your parents, but you knew that there were a lot of people out there who weren’t. Plus Christen was the Christen Press, and you were just a disorganized rookie. 

Gentle fingers tilted your chin up, and your Y/e/c met Mal’s brown.“Christen is a lot of things. I don’t think ashamed is one of them,” 

You nodded, returning your attention to the city passing by. You loved Christen, and you hoped that Mal was right. 

******

Most people would hate getting off a plane and stepping directly into practice, but you were grateful for it. The field was your happy place, a place you didn’t have to think about all the what-ifs. A place where you could simply showcase your skills. 

By the time you and Mal made it to the locker room, it was nearly empty. (Barring your girlfriend, who had stayed back to give you a tight hug and kiss, and Tobin who just sent you a small smile). 

“You ready for this cutie?” Your girlfriend asked, settling down on the bench beside you, nudging you with her shoulder, and placing a kiss on your pink cheeks. 

You stuck your tongue out at Mal who made a gagging sound. 

“I think so,” You shrugged, rooting through your bag to find the last items of your gear, things you were sure you had put in this morning. Your eyebrows furrowed as you shoved your shin guards aside in search of your socks. 

“Is it true you have the sprint record for UCLA?” Tobin nudged your other side. You nodded, not taking your eyes off of the contents of your bag. Had you been paying more attention, you probably would have freaked out that the Tobin Heath knew who you were. 

“Don’t forget the juggling record either,” Mal added, smiling. You had quite the reputation for putting defenders on their asses, and it was going to be entertaining watching you work your magic with the national team. 

“Damn,” Tobin mumbled wide eyes. She was going to have to call dibs on you for the scrimmage. You barely spared her a glance, groaning as you continued to dig for an item you were beginning to fear wasn’t in your bag. You took a deep breath, trying not to panic. Of course you had forgotten something important on your first camp with the national team.

Christen rubbed your back, her head tilting to the side as you ignored one of your heroes (your hero being her best friend was something she found immensely entertaining), her hand coming up to rub your back. “What are you looking for my darling,” 

“I forgot my socks,” you huffed, shoving your bag to the floor pouting. Christen’s lips ticked up slightly as she leaned in to kiss your pink cheeks. 

“That’s alright. I have an extra pair for you in my bag,” 

Your blush deepened as you took the extra pair, slipping them on your feet. You nodded in thanks, she simply winked in return. She knew you’d forget something. You always did. 

******

Meeting the team was an… experience. Kelley had immediately jumped on top of you, squealing about a new baby to corrupt before she was pulled off by Alex. Ashlyn and Ali had argued with Becky and Alyssa about who was going to be your team moms. The youngins had bombarded you with so many questions that it felt like your head was spinning. But through it, all Christen’s hand remained firmly in yours. 

Standing in line, waiting for the forward vs defender drill to begin was a surreal experience for you. You watched with a keen eye as Mal went first and nearly navigated the ball past Becky. You kissed Christen’s cheek before she went and cleanly got past Kelley. Tobin took the next spot, pulling a clean nutmeg off on Abby. You were going to have to one-up her. 

You took a deep breath, trying to settle your nerves, waiting to see which defender you would be up against. 

“You good kid?” Megan asked, bumping your shoulder with her. You blinked, fighting the urge to squeal that The Megan Rapino was talking to you. 

“Hm, excited!” You smiled, biting your lip as Sonnett took her place at the front of her line. Sonnett was good, but you were better and your desire to make a good first impression meant that you were really going to have to put on a show. There would be no better partner for the dance you had planned. 

“Think you can best Sonnett?” Carli smirked, tapping you the ball. 

“Definitely. Cant let a Cavalier get one over on me,” You winked, beginning to juggle the ball. Yeah, this was going to be fun. 

******

“Holy shit, how are you so fast,” Emily panted, catching up to you after you’d made another shot at an unsuspecting Alyssa Naeher. It speared just past her fingertips, making the goal rattle as it made contact with the net. 

“I ate lots of fudge striped cookies when I was younger,” You nodded, wiping the sweat from your forehead and heading towards the sidelines for your water break. From the time you were little you had believed wholeheartedly that the cookies made you run faster. 

“Fudge stripped what?” Emily asked, her eyebrows furrowing beside you. 

“Made by the Keebler elves. They’re magic,” You shrugged, glancing around for the greenbottle with your name on it, entirely unaware of the odd looks the team was giving you and the loving smile your girlfriend was sporting. “Where did I put my bottle?” 

“It’s over-“ Mal started, only to be cut off by Christen’s elbow being lodged in her ribs. 

“Take mine babe,” She laughed, passing you her bottle. You nodded in thanks, squirting the liquid into your mouth. What would you do without her? Mal smirked over your head at the green-eyed forward. Maybe part of your forgetfulness was her love of coming to your rescue. 

“Sick ball skills Ducky,” Tobin clapped you in the back. 

“Thanks!” You squeaked, the stream of water missing your mouth and spraying Christen in the chest. “Oops,” You giggled. 

“If you want me to kiss you, you did it have to get me all wet, you could just ask,” She winked and you felt heat wash over your cheeks, all your previous confidence evaporating. 

 Mal covered her ears and shook her head fast. “Please don’t answer that with the comeback you’re thinking of,”. You smirked, shaking your head. You wouldn’t force her to bear her best friend and her team mom flirting. 

“Hmm, I love your kisses,” 

Christen giggled, wrapping her arms around your waist, and pulling you into a quick kiss. You pulled away when the team wolf-whistled, burying your face in your girlfriend's chest. 

“Told you she wasn’t embarrassed,” Mal said, patting your back. 

“Yeah, how could she when you put everyone on their ass,” Sonnett cackled. Your groan was muffled by your girlfriend's soft skin. Her fingers found their way under your chin, coaxing you out of your favorite hiding place. You Y/e/c eyes met her green ones. 

“You thought I was embarrassed?” She asked softly, and you gave her a slight nod. How couldn’t she be? She was the Christen Press and you were just a bumbling college student who would lose her head if it wasn’t attached to her body. 

“You’re you, and you have everything together, and I’m me and I forget everything,” You mumbled, shrugging. 

“Well, I love you, even when you forget stuff. Plus, You look really cute in my clothes,” She kissed your nose and your cheeks before landing on your lips. You smiled into the kiss, enjoying the way her soft lips felt against yours. 

It didn’t matter that you were younger. You would prove yourself to be an asset to the team and Christen loved you. 

“Did they forget we’re here?” Emily’s whisper read followed by a slapping sound and Lindsey’s voice. 

“Way to ruin a moment Sonnett,” 

Yes. You were a mess, but you were Christen’s mess and you’d fit right in. 

[thewistlingbadger]

Mixed Signals

Summary: Emily and Spencer are trying to see if Derek likes Spencer. Derek is trying to figure out if he's gay with the help from Penelope. The 4 of them come to the realization that they are NOT on the same page at a club, where Emily and Spencer make out to see if Derek will get jealous.

CW: Platonic Spencer/Emily, friends who kiss, Derek has bi panic, gender non-conforming Spencer Reid, intimate friendship, inappropriate language, kiss in the rain, miscommunication, love confessions, first kiss. Y'all asked for me to post the stuff i got in my notes so here ya go. Enjoy.

Okay. So Emily and Spencer definitely came to the club with something up their sleeve. Spencer had always kept quiet about his crush on Derek. After all, the year was 2008. Gay marriage wasn't legal and if you were out you could be called slurs, or worse. And in the workplace? You could be terminated. The only person he ever came close to telling was Elle, but then one moment she was here, the next, gone.

Emily tried her best to be shocked at the news. It takes one to know one, she told herself. But nevertheless she made sure that he knew she was a safe space and that all she cared about was his comfort. He ranted to her about gender dysphoria and wanting to tap into his feminity, but being too afraid to do so. He asked her if she thought Derek liked him back, and tonight, they would find out.

Everyone knew Emily Prentiss was a lesbian. She made it no secret, while also making sure you minded your own business. She read queer romance novels on the jet, there was a pride flag on her desk and if you asked her what was on her calendar, she would tell you next Wednesday she had a meeting with her local LGBTQ+ advocates and that there would be a march next month, if you wanted to come.

In the same breath, she had no problem kissing Reid. They both knew that there was nothing romantic about the them. Kissing just...helped them both I guess. When Spencer would come over because he was having nightmares, Emily would scoot over in bed and make room for him. When she would get up around noon, Spencer would wrap his arms around her and kiss the side of her head as she brushed her teeth. Or when she could tell he was getting overwhelmed, she'd pepper his face with kisses till he'd be calm again.

Most people said I love you in words but for them, they had heard those words growing up from the mouths that did not mean it. Their kisses were tangible, real. They said I love, care, and respect you without even needing to pronounce a syllable.

Everyday, Derek came crying for help in Peneople's corner. He had never considered being anything but straight but his pretty boy got him second guessing himself. Derek didn't have the luxury of being able to figure himself out while young. And now that he was an adult, an established FBI agent, he feared it was too late. Penelope was his shoulder to cry on, filling his ears with positive affirmations. Giving him flyers to queer support groups and telling him when pride would be rolling into town.

"What if I don't like men and I just like pretty boy? Do I even like him like that? What if I'm just overthinking it?" "Well then you'll find out tonight." Peneople said with a wink. She ordered another round as Spencer and Emily found their way to the booth.

Derek tried to act normal but he couldn't help but notice how smug the both of them. Like they were inside a joke, and Derek wasn't. It made something rise in Derek, he just didn't know what.

Spencer still couldn't piece it all together. The looks, the touchs, the names, they had to mean something. Despite contrary belief, he wasn't all that oblivious. He knew Derek had been flirting with him for years. But why? Derek was always pulling girls whenever they went out to places like this and he never had shown interest in men. So why would he like Reid? Although, thought of Spencer being the only male that Derek was attracted to made his heart flutter, he knew it was unrealistic.

"Hey. Wanna dance?" Emily said putting her hand on his shoulder. He smiled. She always knew how to do that, pull him out of thought. As he got up he started to think about all the things he loved about her. Her gentleness without making him feel babied, her understanding without having the ability to understand what he was going through, the way she knew things about him that he didn't tell her that only he knew.

Like how he didn't need to drink to be a good time. As their bodies pressed together and they moved to the RNB beat, they laughed at each other. "Don't forget the task at hand Spence." She teased. "What task? The task of finding you a girlfriend? Because let me tell you, she won't come if your hair is looking like that!" He started to run his fingers through her hair which just made her laugh more.

Derek was watching them have fun while he was downing his drink. "What's wrong Derek, this is your scene! This is where Derek Morgan is Derek Morgan. And let me tell you, Derek Morgan? He does NOT sit at the booth like a sad puppy when the love of his life is out there dancing! Something that is a rare sight for our eyes!" He sighed, taking another sip from the glass, but he stayed glued to the leather seat.

"C'mon Derek! Do something! If you're not gonna go after Reid go after another dude! Or a gal! Scout out the area, look for someone who seems worth while! There's only one single friend out of the 4 of us and right now it's looking like it's gonna be me because Emily is having a grand old time with Reid."

Glad to know he wasn't going crazy, he responded. "Yeah, speaking of which, since when are they so close? Like you said, we barely get to see Reid dance. Then all of a sudden he's taking Prentiss's hand and they're grinding it up on the dancefloor?" He couldn't leave the irritation of his voice.

"Jealous much?" She wiggled her eyebrows. He rolled his eyes. "Don't you think it's weird?" Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. Of course not dummy! If you haven't figured out what Emily Prentiss was by now, you probably never will! Ignoring her thoughts, she asked "well what do you think it is?" He stared at the pair, trying to get get ahold of what it all meant but he turned away, empty handed.

"Did you see that? He was staring at us for a long time..." Spencer said looking over Emily's shoulder. "Do you think it's working?" "I don't know...he looked upset...he's drinking right now. Mil, I don't want to do this if he's drunk..." Emily could hear the doubt stirring in him. She didn't want to push him but she had the feeling that this would be the only chance. She wouldn't get Spencer to agree with her on this again.

"Hey." She tilted his chin down toward her. "It's your call." She smiled. God, you just gotta love her, he thought. He smiled and went for it.

"Hey, they moved away from the dance floor. Where'd they go?" Derek said sitting up straight searching over the crowd of clubbers. "I don't know..." Penelope now getting concerned. She stood up and-

"oh my god-" "What?! Are they hurt?! What's going o-" his search for them was interrupted by Penelope's hands clutching the sides of his face and directing it to the right side of the room, were he could see Emily and Spencer making out.

They both just stood there, jaws on the floor. "I thought she didn't swing that way..." Penelope said, shocked to her core. "Reid?" Morgan said, not as if he was calling for him but as if he was surprised that Emily was kissing Spencer. Or was Spencer kissing her? Unlike the last time he was staring at them, he was now paying attention to every detail. The way Emily's tight long sleeve shirt left nothing to the imagination and how she was pulling Reid in by the inside of his pants, then feeling him up after. She smirked mischievously into his lips, as if it were just a game.

Reid on the other hand, looked like he was about to cum on sight. He was still playing with he hair like how he was on the dancefloor, but this time his eyes were screwed tight. He barely moved his mouth meaning that A, Prentiss was doing all the work and B, when he did move his mouth it was in the smallest way possible and by god did he look amazing. Holy shit, did he just see some tongue?! Oh fuck, Derek thought, the realization hitting him like a truck. I like both of them.

He continued to watch them. Spence's hair was getting in his face and Emily was too busy teasing him by thumbing the hem of his sweater vest to notice. Derek could tell how much it was bothering him but he also seemed so carefree, so trapped in the moment, the sensations. He moved his head back ever so slightly, as if to ask for more but her mouth never left his.

When they parted, Derek could swear he saw a string of saliva in between them. Damn. This is not what I expected would happen tonight. He thought maybe he'd see a beautiful girl or a handsome dude, giving him an answer he'd been craving; Gifting him the knowledge he had wanted this whole time. But that? Whatever the fuck he just saw? Left him with more questions than answers.

"Derek? Are you okay?" He snapped out of it and looked at Peneople who had a worried expression on her face. That's when he realized that she hadn't been ogling at them the whole time like how he was. "Did that answer your questions?" She tried to approach in a different way. "I uhh." No words could form. "Oh, he's having a gay panic moment-" "No it was definitely for both of them." he blurted without being able to stop himself.

Penelope spit the shot out of her mouth. "You like them BOTH?" "No I-" He was completely out of his element. He started racking his brain, trying to process what he just saw. Why was that so hot? If he had a crush on Reid (like he thought he had the whole time) then wouldn't seeing his boy being kissed make him freak out? But somehow, seeing Spencer being man handled by Emily made him speachless. An "ohhhh" from Penelope was what broke him out of thought. "Well, congratulations Derek. I think you just might like guys and girls."

"Holy shit" they laughed hysterically. Spencer was about to fall to the floor. "What was that?" Emily laughed. "I was trying to make it look believable!" "Yeah by acting like a slut? Okay." She went off in a giggling fit. "Well I think it worked." "No shit?" She asked, looking to the booth. Both Derek and Penelope were standing up. "Well I'll be damned. I don't think I've ever seen him that red." she smiled "holy shit. I did that?" "Hell yeah you did! go get 'im lover boy." He hugged her and thanked her for her help, then made his way back to the booth. He got intercepted by peneople on the way there.

"So. What the fuck was that?" Peneople shouted over the music. "Go ask Emily! I'm going to Morgan." What? "oH!" The pieces somewhat clicking into place. "Oh my god how did I not know!" She gave him a hug. He gave an uncomfortable chuckle "thanks Penelope. But I really gotta go-" "But! He likes you too!" Penelope called after him but Spencer was already too far away to hear. God damn the level of miscommunication that's going on right now! Annoyed at the circumstances, she walked off to Prentiss.

Spencer slid the booth, "Hey." Spencer said. He shifted uncomfortably. A few seconds ago he was having the time of his laughing with a friend. Now he sat across from a different friend, a friend who he didn't want to be friends with. The person he wanted something more with looked down at the ground with a hand over his mouth.

Spencer frowned "what's wrong?" Reaching for the other's hand. Derek looked at him, doe eyed. "Boys." Was all he said. Huh? He had never seen Derek like this. "...Do you wanna dance?" He asked concerned. Derek nodded rapidly and they were off.

Whatever groove Spencer had while dancing with Emily had left because he was back to his normal stiffness. He wondered what was wrong with him but he couldn't decide what it was considering the amount of events that had just occurred. How do I make this less weird? What does he want? Spencer's thoughts reflected on his face.

Fuck. What's going on? Derek wondered. Sure, they were swaying and he had his hands on him, a big improvement on their relationship but he knew something was off about Spencer. So naturally, that's when Derek turned on his profiler mode and started pawing for answers.

"I was watching you earlier, you had some moves pretty boy. Didn't know that about you." There's a lot you don't know about me the genius thought. Instead he responded with "really?" "Yeah. I thought you didn't dance." "I'm not good at it." Spencer laughed. Derek couldn't resist rolling his eyes at the comments. You were practically fucking on the dancefloor talk about 'I'm not good at it.' Boy please. Spencer caught his eyes rolling though. Becoming defensive, he said "we were just being silly. It didn't mean anything." "That make out didn't look so silly. Looked pretty serious from where I was standing."

Spencer was taken aback. Was he mad at him? There was a hint of protectiveness but why would Derek be protective over him when he was with Emily? They've known Emily for a while now, they trust her.

Spencer didn't let him slide away with the snideness. "So what's your problem tonight. Had too many drinks and are now pissed you're not the only one who knows how to have fun?"

"I'm not drunk." Derek grumbled. "Oh really? Derek we've been here 2 hours now and the whole time all you've done is sit down with Penny and drink drinks. And all of a sudden you're acting all strange? How do you explain that hm?" Derek looked away realizing his error, licking his lips.

You're gonna profile me? Two can play it that way. "It's the fact that it's Prentiss huh. Do you like her?" Derek still couldn't meet his eyes. "Or did you just think I couldn't get her?" Spencer wasn't one who got easily mad but the bullshit Derek was pulling was infuriating. Do I just let the cat out of the bag or do I see how he plays it out?There's too many mixed signals going on.

Spencer scoffed annoyingly, letting go of Derek and storming off. "Kid wait!" God damn it Derek this is the one thing you're not supposed to fuck up. Emily stood up from the table that she was at with Penelope. "What's going on?" "I don't know!" They both watched Spencer leave. "Oh no..." "What the f-...he likes him Emily I swear! It's all he's been talking to me about for months! I really don't know what's going on!" Emily tried to make her way through the crowd but Derek was already out the door, trying to reach Spencer.

This is just fucking great. I go out to a club, a place that I already don't like just to try to make a move on some dude, some asshole, and now it's raining. Could it seriously get worse? "Spencer, c'mon man!" Derek heard him curse in a language he didn't understand. "I don't have time for bullshit Derek! Don't waste my time!" He kept walking back towards him.

Derek caught up to him, his feet splashing into puddles. "Look man, I'm sorry. Just let me explain!" Spencer didn't even look at him, he just kept walking. As a final attempt, Derek grabbed his hand, Spencer now facing him. "I'm not trying to waste your time pretty boy. Or bullshit you." The rain drops sliding down both their faces. Despite there being no light other the moon, they looked into each other's eyes. Derek didn't have a firm grip on Spencer's hand, but Spencer didn't feel the need to let go.

"You should start explaining yourself because I don't like dealing with nonsense." His chest rising and falling with every deep breath he took. "For the past couple of months I thought I was seeing you differently so I talked to Peneople about it. She suggested we go to the club to see if I liked you or if I only liked girls or maybe even if I liked men in general. When I saw you and Emily kissing, I- I can't explain it. I liked it. I liked watching you two kiss but then you came over to me and I started feeling jealous and I don't know what's going on with me-" "shut up." Spencer grabbed Derek by the collar of his wet shirt and their mouths smashed together.

It wasn't a pretty sight. It wasn't delicate like how most people want their first kisses to be. But it reflected every emotion that the both of them had felt that night. The rain helping their mouths slide together, the small droplets getting smushed when their checks or chins touched. Derek thought that getting kissed by Spencer looked good but oh man did it feel better to actually be kissed by him. Derek slid his fingers through his hair, imitating Spencer when he kissed Prentiss. The water droplets clinging to the ends of his finger tips. Their bodies closer than Reid's and Emily's ever were.

Spencer pulled away, resting his forehead on Derek's. They both felt the breath of the other, the rapid in and outs trying to get back to their normal speed's. Spencer still had his fingers on Derek's collar, still keeping him close. "Please tell me that that cleared up some stuff for you." Spencer breathed.

"We could be that. Friends who kiss but not romantically." Derek offered. All he knew was that he would die a sad man if that was the only time he'd get to kiss Reid. "If we kiss, I'd like it to be in a romantic way. I didn't spend countless hours watching you go home with countless women to not have you kiss me in a romantic way Derek." Derek laughed at his bluntness. "Alright kid. Good. Because I wouldn't have it any other way." He went in for another kiss, and Spencer happily kissed him back.

"I think it did." Derek panted back. Spencer moved his arms around Derek's neck, pulling him into a hug. "I've had a huge crush on you for forever. I didn't say anything because I didn't think you were gay. Emily and I only kissed like that to see what your reaction would be. I don't like her, she doesn't like me. We're just friends. There's no romance behind it." He explained, still hugging him.

By: Mic

[whoreforthebauteam]

The BAU team as 👆 this picture.

Aaron Hotchner: He grew up with judgement, hatred, bigotry, rage, violence, favoritism. His mother judged everyone against an impossible standard, nobody (him included) was ever good enough. His brother was always the good one, the loved and favored one, Aaron was a blight on the family name. His father beat him, screamed and shouted and blamed Aaron for every little thing. And when caught with another guy... Aaron never truly recovered.

But he grew, he matured, he escaped to college. To freedom.

Now he gives understanding, unconditional love, acceptance, equitable help to his family. He's a shoulder to cry on when spencer admits he's a little in love with Derek (Aaron hugs him, its ok to be gay). He never stopped caring about Elle, he'll always feel guilty and she'll always forgive him. When Penelope gets headaches due to the harsh lights in her office, he cashes in a favor and now she's comfortable. When someone messes up, he's calm. He still loves his family when hes upset because love isn't supposed to leave bruises.

-

Penelope Garcia: In her early years, she had love and life and direction. Parents worth killing for. And then they where gone, she had nobody. All she had left was fear, loneliness. All she had was darkness. She turned to crime, stealing because she had too. Who in their right minds would help someone like her? Loss turned her bitter and hard.

Then she met Hotch, joined the BAU, she found hope.

Now she's bright, colorful and giving and loving. She bakes cookies when her family is sick or hurt. When they need a hug she's there. When Derek called her his God-given solace, he meant it. Shes all of this because she had it once and then lost it. And, even if it kills her, nobody will ever have to walk in the same shoes she got to leave behind.

-

Spencer Reid: Abandoned and neglected, bullied and ridiculed, shamed and used. Nobody wants to be associated with a freak. His father left him. A 10 year old boy left alone to care for a mother that was too sick to get out of bed most days. His teachers used him for bragging rights, his fellow students pushed and sneered and punched because "what makes you so special you freak?". He was never accepted or included or wanted.

But he was wanted, by the BAU, by Gideon, by the team. He is wanted and accepted.

When the team is on a case and there's smart or strange or odd youths, Spencer's there. He knows, he's been there. He knows what its like to be unwanted. So he helps, he encourages, he guides, he makes everyone around him feel wanted and included. He is special, and so is his family.

-

Jennifer Jureau: Her parents where loving and kind. She grew up in a nice place. She didn't want for much. How could she not see the signs, how could she not see her sister giving up? How could she be so blind? She played soccer and laughed while her sister, her assigned-at-birth best friend, lost the will to live. And when her sad sister finally had a day of happiness, laughed and sang and gave JJ her favorite necklace, all she thought was "finally, she's happy again, she'll be okay now". But all there was was blood and death and loss and guilt. That horrible, nasty, green colored guilt that constantly tells you that its your fault. You could've helped her you could've saved her you should've seen the signs its your fault.

And maybe JJ didn't need much growing up, but her sister did.

Now she knows what to look for.

When Hotch comes into her office one day, gives her a fresh cup of coffee and a rare smile, and tells her he appreciates her and all that she does, she stops him. Asks him if he's ok, is he eating? When Spencer can't concentrate, shes there. A willing and eager listener, its because of a paper he's writing. When Morgan comes into work with a bandaged wrists, her heart nearly stops. She almost cries when he shows her the pictures he took, he was busting down a wall and didn't step back far enough and drywall isn't easy to clean out of cuts or scrapes. Hes ok.

She couldn't save her sister but she can save her family.

-

Emily Prentiss: She learned young that people only care about what you can do for them. The hand that feeds you is the same one that takes. As long as she was present and cordial, who cares? Not her parents. Its all about face, don't show anything less than perfect. Reputation. Don't let anyone see that you're broken because they'll use it against you.

"I need to know that I can be human"

She unlearns stoicism, learns that emotions are meant to be shown. Unlearns perfection, bottling up every trauma is unhealthy and her family truly wants to help. She finds that a helping hand is sometimes just that. No tricks, no blackmail, no favors. Just help. When Spencer shares his snacks he doesn't expect anything in return. When JJ gives her a ride to work she doesn't want gas money, just someone to sing along to annoying pop music with. When Rossi listens to her problems, he listens, he doesn't use it against her.

She learns to be the friend she needed, to help without expectation. To have no shame when her and Garcia go to the store at 2 am in pajamas and runny makeup because they ran out of girls night snacks. She's human and humans are fragile, they break down and panic and they aren't perfect. She doesn't need to be perfect and neither does her family.

-

David Rossi: Dave grew up with family, holidays where big and loud and the house was packed with people. There was love and hugs and warmth. How could he not want that for himself? How could he not want to be the one sitting at the head of the table surrounded with his family? He almost had it... he married a wonderful woman and they were having a baby, a sweet baby boy.

But it wasn't meant to be. Premature. Weak lungs. Say your goodbyes. He all but accepted that he wasn't meant to have a family, no one to spoil and encourage, nobody to protect.

He came out of retirement for unfinished business, a selfish reason. But he gained so much. He gained daughters. He planed JJ's wedding and he's a shoulder to cry on for Emily. He listens to Penelope go on and on about computers because she's happy when she talks about them. He gained sons. He protects Derek when he gets reckless. He encourages Spencer to speak up, be himself. Dave has a family, its unorthodox and strange, but its HIS family.

-

Derek Morgan: His father died, his mother worked long hours to feed his family, and his sisters needed him. He was the one to walk the girls to school now. He was the one locking the doors at night. He was the one checking for monsters. Who protected him? When he needed help, who could he go to? And when someone offered help, he was betrayed. Ruined. Broken.... Carl Burford wasn't being nice to him because he was giving, he was nice because he was creepy. Derek didn't tell anyone because he wanted it he didn't tell because he was scared. If he told anyone, he was weak. He was the man of the house now, and men are strong.

He's not weak, he was a kid. He's strong now, he has more power to help and if it was up to him... he'd help everyone.

Now he fights the same monsters that haunt his dreams. He puts the worst people in the world away. When the team goes out for drinks, nobody messes with them. Derek is there and he makes sure everyone takes no for an answer. When Derek picks up Jack from school, because Hotch is sick, he looks at every teacher. Stares them down. Hotch may have done background checks but whats the harm in another one. He goes to the park with JJ and her family sometimes, JJ knows her boys are safe because uncle Derek isn't going to let anything happen.

Derek learns to accept help. Learns not be scared when touched. On a case, their vehicle got cut off, Hotch hit the breaks and held an arm over Derek's chest. A move made with children, protective, comforting, not something to fear. On the same case Rossi pulls him out of the way of a bullet. He doesn't flinch, or try to run. Because his family is safe, they protect him, and he returns the feeling.

[dogofclinic17]

Just a small psa I actually haven’t met Luke yet, only through fanfics and my friends talking about him because I’m nervous af for anything past early s11 !! So I’m very sorry if I miss type Luke’s character please feel free to correct me! Also this is my first time writing so please go easy on me

-Ralvez One shot-

Fluff, Autistic Spencer, Pre-Established Relationship, nicknames!! Luke Alvez is the best husband ever, non binary Spencer, Gay Luke, Gay Reid, background Garcia/Prentiss, Weird timeline, Luke alvez makes blindfolds good again, SFW THO! He/they Spencer!

The dim sun leaked through the blinds in the bedroom, coating the floor and part of the bed in a soft golden light. Luke had been up for a few hours already making sure everything would be perfect for when he woke up Spencer. He already planned for his grumpy complaints, knowing his husband wasn’t a morning person so he had made a cup of Spencer’s favorite coffee, in their favorite mug. When he returned to the bedroom Luke almost had to stop and take a picture of the adorable sight. Spencer’s head was buried between two pillows, his sleep tousled hair went every which way. “Cariño, it’s morning. I have to show you something.” He set the mug down on the bedside table, and pulled a very grumpy Spencer up into his arms.

“Luke..” Reid began “Love of my life, My favorite person in the whole world, My husband... why did you wake me up at 9:30 when we don’t have a case?” He groaned face burying into Luke’s shoulder. “So not fair..” he pouted, eyes squeezing shut. Luke just smiled. “Because Mi amor, I have something to show you that’s time sensitive, and a surprise. Now have your coffee.” Luke kissed his head, nose being tickled by their messy curls. “Mh..okay.” Spencer couldn’t stay mad at Luke, not when there was coffee AND a surprise involved. He had no idea what though, they had just moved into a house Morgan had renovated for them and were both quite exhausted from the move, so what did he have planned? Spencer slowly rose to his feet, shivering in the cold morning air. Even the slightest drop of temperature made him crave the protective warmth of a sweater. He pulled a dark green one on, one that Luke had given to him a few months back. It was originally Luke’s but Reid had stolen it so much that he gave in. “Now Spencer..you trust me right?” Luke began. “I don’t know if I like where this is going.” Reid chuckled and turned around, his smile dropping when he saw a blindfold in Luke’s hands. Spencer had told him about the assault that happened to him in highschool at the beginning of their relationship, quite frankly Spencer had convinced himself that their first date had been another ruse and spent the first half of it trying to scope out the modern day equivalent to his highschool’s football team, and the second half having a panic attack at Luke’s place as he apologized profusely to a very confused and concerned Luke. So, neither of then were no stranger to the anxiety any reminder of the event brought on.

“Luke.” Reid frowned “What..What is this? You know what this reminds me of and-“ Luke gently cut him off. “Spencer, darling please just trust me. I want to make blindfolds good again.” He gently cupped his cheek but was in no way going to force Spencer into it. “I...okay.” Reid closed his eyes and allowed his husband to tie the blindfold around his eyes. Luke relished in the fact that Spencer trusted him this much, he gently crouched down to pick him up bridal style. “I’m right here Mi amor.” He purred into his ear, then chuckled at the blush on Spencer’s face. Upon arriving at the previously locked door in their new home that Spencer had thankfully paid no attention to, he opened the door and set him down, slowly removing the blindfold to show a huge library and office, the door even having a name plaque that read ‘Dr Spencer Reid’

“Luke Alvez-Reid. You did all this for me?” He turned around to look at him, eyes wide with excitement to which Luke chuckled and nodded, wrapping his arms around Spencer to pick him up and spin him around ((even if Spencer is taller)) “who all knew? Who helped you with this?” He asked as he was set down, smiling at the way the golden light colored the beautiful library. “Penelope and Emily did, though I owe them now and I’m kinda scared to see how I’m gonna have to pay them back.” He laughed and looked over at Reid who was just beaming.

The end :]

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

We Fell in Love in October, chapter 2 - October 2nd: Panic (Affectionate)

For @bacchicly @gaelic-symphony @dungeons-are-too-cold

Summary: Putting a spin on Gay Panic

Chapter word count: 1670

Total word count: 2936

Can also be read here on Ao3

As the now two gay couples in their friend group, Tara and Emily and Derek and Spencer decided to eat lunch together.

"We're not supposed to eat in here," Spencer argued as they dragged him into the auditorium. 

"Come on, Spence," Emily said. "Where's your sense of be gay do crime? Besides, there's nothing like eating on the stage in an empty auditorium. The vibes are immaculate. And since the room is soundproofed so the rest of the school doesn't get bothered when the band or theatre club are rehearsing, we can be as loud as we want."

"What are you planning on eating that's gonna make someone be loud?" Tara teased.

Emily glared at her… girlfriend? Could she call her that? Yes, she supposed she could. Emily glared at her girlfriend. "Can you go one day without making a sex joke?"

"No, I cannot. And you should know this about me. Your girlfriend has a dirty mind." She said that last part with a cheeky grin that Emily wanted to kiss right off her face– no no no no no, it is way too fucking soon for that.

Derek and Spencer looked at each other and rolled their eyes. They couldn't tell if their friends were being oblivious dumbasses or not. They were dating, after all, but were they really? It was at that moment that Derek's phone blew up, buzzing with notifications and texts. He read them and laughed. "You're all familiar with gay panic, right?"

"Obviously," the other three responded simultaneously. After all, they had all gay panicked over someone sitting right next to them.

"Right, well, is there such a thing as straight panic? Because if not, Penelope just invented it." He began to read from his phone. "You'll never believe who just joined the coding club. Luke Motherfucking Alvez. What's he doing here? And now I have to teach him? And be nice to him? Is he doing this on purpose to bother me? Derek, what am I supposed to do? I have to be sitting beside his stupid pretty face while he gets in my space and ahhhhhh okay I gotta go, ttyl, pray for my soul."

The group erupted into laughter. "Doesn't that still kind of qualify as gay panic though?" Spencer asked once they had settled down a bit. "I mean, since she's pan and he's bi? She's a gay panicking over a gay; it just happens to be het-appearing in this case."

"Hmm," Emily said. "I don't know if I'd say it's gay panic necessarily, more like panic with affectionate in brackets afterward."

"Panic (affectionate?)"

"Panic (affectionate!)"

"You two are making my brain hurt," Tara told them. "This is just Penelope and Luke simping over each other and not being able to get their heads far enough out of their asses to see it."

Spencer cocked his head in confusion. "Wait, how is Luke simping?"

Derek laughed and pulled his boyfriend close to him, kissing him on the head. "Because, pretty boy. He joined the coding club. Does that sound like the Luke Alvez we know?"

"No, I guess not," Spencer admitted. "We really need to get them together. It's painful at this point."

"Lock them in a janitorial closet and make them kiss," Emily suggested.

Tara playfully slapped her arm. "Do not. Do not do that."

"Well then, what do you suggest we do?"

"I don't know, let them figure it out for themselves? Normally?"

"Right, because that always works out in friend groups. It's always 'I don't want to ruin the friendship!' We need to intervene."

Derek and Spencer watched the two girls go back and forth, their focus solely on each other.

"Do they even need us here for this conversation?" Spencer whispered.

"No. Why, wanna run away with me?"

"Do you ever stop flirting?"

"You should know the answer to that by now."

"We need some music," Emily declared out of nowhere.

"If you think I'm going to be sitting on a theatre stage and not be listening to show tunes, you're crazy," Tara told her.

"Oh, but of course. It's queer culture." She put her playlist on shuffle and the first song that came on was "Take Me or Leave Me" from RENT. "Oh my god," Emily exclaimed, jumping up and extending her hands to Tara. "Do this with me."

Tara placed her hands in Emily's and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. Emily took the role of Maureen and Tara the role of Joanne. They went all out, singing at the top of their lungs and dancing with and on each other. Watching Emily dance that way… Tara's panic may have been affectionate, but it was also very gay.

"I feel like I'm intruding on a private moment," Spencer confessed to Derek.

"Yeah, they definitely don't need us here. Wanna sneak up to the roof and make out like they do in those movies I know you pretend to hate?"

Spencer blushed. "Maybe."

"Well come on then, Pretty Boy," Derek said, extending a hand to his boyfriend. "Let's go."

When the song ended, Tara and Emily looked around the room to find themselves completely alone. "Where'd the boys go?"

"I don't know," Tara replied. Then "Satisfied" from HAMILTON came on. "Oh my god, this is my song!"

***

When Luke and Penelope came into class together that afternoon, Tara had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. Penelope looked pissed, but her special brand of my-annoyingly-attractive-crush-is-being-annoyingly-attractive pissed. Luke was grinning smugly, one of two faces he had around her. 

"How was coding club?" Tara asked them. 

Matt's eyes went wide. "Luke, you go to coding club?" 

"I do now."

"Unfortunately," Penelope quipped.

"Oh come on," Luke said, nudging her gently. "Admit it. We had fun. You like me."

"Ha! In your dreams, Newbie."

"Oh most definitely."

"Do you two need some privacy, or…" Tara teased.

Penelope's face was bright red. "No! No. Just… whatever."

Matt was trying his best not to laugh. "Oh my god," he whispered to Tara.

"I know."

***

This time, at the end of the day, Emily showed up at Tara's lockers. "I'm walking you home today."

“What? Emily, we have to walk past my house to get to yours.”

“I know,” Emily said simply. “I don’t mind. I could use the exercise.”

“You know my dad’s just going to invite you in for dinner.”

“Well maybe that was secretly my goal the entire time and you’ve figured me out.”

Tara studied her girlfriend. “Is your mom not home again?”

Emily looked down and shook her head, slightly embarrassed. “No.” 

“Alright, you’re definitely coming over for dinner then. In fact, every day your mom is out of 

town, you’re coming over for dinner.”

“Tara, I’m going to be over for dinner all the time.”

“Well maybe I don’t want my girlfriend to be alone for dinner all the time,” Tara countered. “Now come on, are you walking me home or not?”

When they arrived, Albert, Tara’s father, did indeed invite Emily to stay for dinner. "Is your mother out of town for work?"

"She's in Germany for the month," Emily admitted. Her mother was an ambassador, so she was often out of the country for work.

"The whole month?" Tara exclaimed. "So she's missing your birthday?"

"Won't be the first time."

"But Emily, it's your eighteenth birthday."

Emily shrugged. "It's just the way it is."

"Well, Emily, you are more than welcome to come over for dinner while your mother is away, and spend the night if you want. Or, Tara, if you want to spend the night at Emily's, I am not opposed. Just keep me in the loop." It was no secret that Albert approved of his daughter's friendship with the other girl, in fact, he could see the chemistry between the two and hoped that someday they'd take the step into more than friends. If he had to give them a little push in the right direction… so be it. It was for his daughter's happiness!

They ate dinner, and Albert asked the two girls about school. Gabriel, Tara's brother, joined them of course, but he didn't say much. At fifteen, he was slightly awkward and never knew what to talk about when Tara had her friends around. Especially when Tara and this friend kept looking at each other in this weird soft way that his parents used to do before his mom passed. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to comment on that, so he kept his mouth shut.

"Well, thank you for dinner," Emily said, "but I should be getting home now."

"You sure you don't want to spend the night?" Tara asked. She had gotten hopeful when her dad had suggested it.

"I didn't bring anything for tonight or tomorrow."

"You can always borrow some of my stuff," Tara told her. And maybe she just really wanted to see what Emily would look like wearing her clothes, but who was that hurting?

"And I have homework. Maybe this weekend? Friday night?"

Tara looked at her father for permission.

"Hey, you heard me earlier, any night you want. Alright, I'll drive you home then. Tara, you coming with?"

"You bet."

When they arrived at Emily's house, Tara got out of the car as well to walk her to the door. 

"I appreciate you wanting to make sure I get in safe, but you don't need to walk me to the door," Emily told her.

"A good girlfriend walks her girlfriend to the door," Tara replied. "Besides, maybe I wanted to do this," she wrapped her arms around Emily and gave her a kiss on the cheek, her back to her dad's car so he couldn't see. "And don't want my dad asking the girlfriend question."

"Oh, so we're keeping secrets from dad now," Emily teased.

"I don't want him to rescind the sleepover offer."

"Ah, understood." She took Tara's hand and gave it a light squeeze. "Well, goodnight, Tara."

Tara squeezed back. "Goodnight, Emily."

[bausbitch]

Lucky Man

Reid x she/her! Model! Reader

Ik I'm going off of my usual gender neutral reader so if you'd like me to do specific pronoubs please do tell!!!!

Requested once again by my angel @lilac-monster

In which Morgan malfunctions and says 'my maN' a lot pffft

Panic

That's what you felt

Ok so

Let me explain why you felt such a way

You were famous ✨

A model 🔥🔥🔥

Secc model

🥵🥵

And you got quite a lot of fan mail

But that was all normal

What WASN'T normal

Was the involuntary nudes you got in the mail

Like

You opened it

And

Surprise!!!!

You in the shower!!!

You getting OUT of the shower!!!!

You changing back stage!!!

And so you were in Paris right

So you were like

Ok lemme suck it up

So you finished the show

Looking fresh 🥵🔥🤩💥

Then you went back home

Bc you missed Spencer

And bc you were freaked the fuck out

Bc the letters kept getting worse

It was,,,, concerning

So you went home

And you knew he was at work

Bc like

FBI tingz 😗✌

BUT

There was a PACKAGE

at your front door

At it had some very fun stuff in it

LIKE YOUR BRA

Bra In A Box™

so you were like

Why don't I go to my bfs job

And ya know

Ask for help

So you do 🥰

You pull up

Still in your like

Work clothes

Like

v sexy runway clothes

But still like

Proper clothes??

Yknow?

So anyways

You pulled up

Went inside

And you're like

"Hey I need help"

And jjs like

Uhhhhh

And you show her the box, the love letters, and pictures

And she's like

uHHH

So she,, very gracefully,,,, convinced the team to help

Well hotch

So she's like

"Yoyoyo new case 🤪"

So they all sat down

And JJ pulled up with the pictures of the box and everything

AND SPENCER WENT 😳

Then he saw your bra and he's like-

Wait a damn minute

waIT A DAMN MINUTE

then JJ was like

Famous model, yn yln, came in-

And reid

!!!!!

He's like

"That's my gf!!!"

Que everyone going

👁👄👁

Bc

We love him

But Spence is a nERD

PFFFT

MorGAN WAS SO SHOCKED

He was proud

Don't get his skeptical face wrong

"No way"

And he's just nodding

And he pulls out his phone

And shows them his camera roll

Turns out

You were a dork too

But ok

You looked HOT a LOT

Omg look at me spitting bars

Move over cardi 💁

Mira's here to take over

Okokokokok

ANYGAYS

So now the team had PROOF

That you guys were

💥together💥

But anyways

Then they remembered

YOU CAME TO THE BAU PFFGT

WITH A CASE

So jj was like

Ok so

Yn yln came in today with a bunch of naked photos, her bra and ten love letters

And Spencer's like

Wtf

Why she bringing her nudes to my place of work

The disrespect

But JJ goes on

"She believes she has a stalker, bc the noodz weren't voluntary"

And Spencer RUNS outside

"BABY, ANGEL, PRINCESS, QUEEN, BABE, HONEY, ARE YOU OK???"

yes

He did in fact yell that

🤭

But you were sitting there, playing

🤩Mario Kart 🤩

And you looked up

And you still had your runway makeup on pffft

I used to be a model and PFFFT

You were SO tired

Show last night, flight first thing after and then arriving in Quantico first thing in the morning

All in heels

And a tight dress

In makeup

No sleep

Bc you had a stalker

You didn't even have time to change when you got back

Bc

Bra in a box™

So you looked up

And you still looked stunning

Bc

Natural beauty 🤭

And he gasped

And so did the rest of the office undiehwi2

EMILY'S GAY ASS LMAO

Same though

Okokikikok

Morgan, who was still very much in shock, literally ran to you

To meet you obviously

And so did the rest of the team

But they walked

Lmfao Morgan you extra bitch

"Hello I'm Derek Morgan"

And you're like

"Lmfao I know and I know all of you PFFFT"

And Spencer's all

"Wow way to expose me yn smh"

But then you remember

You haven't slePT

IN LIKE

48 HOURS

So you're like

"So can you guys help me??? I litch rally have not slept in two days"

And they're like

Oh yeah lmao

So throughout the whole case

Ya boy Spence gets teased by everyone

But also comforted bc,,,, his gf has a stalker

But allegedly she's also WAY out of his league pfft

Stfu Spence Reid is HOT 🥵🥴

Hot hot hot

We got it!!!

Ok sorry I was watching polar express when I wrote that

So they solved the case

It was actually a stalker

And

Gasp

It was your agent!!!!

He was FIRED

And Spencer went home

And you made besties with the bau

😌

YOU READ MY MIND HONEY IDK HOW YOU DID BUT YOU DID PFFFT

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