#i’ve had the core four birthdays in my calendar for years

[fratresdei]

How to Create Sacred Space

Sacred spaces are some of the clearest examples we have of humanity’s active involvement in cultivating the Sacred. Within sacred spaces, the lines between “what is ‘just people’ and “what is ‘purely divine,'” are, blessedly, blurred to indistinction.

For example, when humans build temples, they often believe that holy presence resides within it. However, there is no delusion that the temple was not built by human hands. That reality is in fact celebrated! Within sacred space we are free to relish in our participation, or co-creation, of divine presence in our world. This power we possess does not detract from the mystery of sacred space, but is something to cherish. If we have the power to construct and nurture sacred space, that says a lot about our standing in the universe.

So, what constitutes a sacred space? The answer could include many possibilities: perhaps you have a favorite quiet spot in your place of worship or out in nature. Maybe you grew up with a shrine or altar in the home, or you may be seeking to curate and maintain a space for yourself. The space may be hidden away where only you can access it, or out in the open where you spend most of your day. There may be objects that represent deities, loved ones, prayers or intentions present. It could be a clear, clean space, empty of clutter, where the mind and spirit feel free to declutter as well. Your sacred space may simply be your own body. While the size and structure of a personal sacred space may vary, the core is the same: a place that has been set aside for contemplation or communion with the divine. The beauty of a sacred space, like many facets of spiritual life, derives from the meaning it carries for you.

To help illustrate the many variations and nuances of a sacred space, Fratres Dei Spiritual Direction Contributor Saint Gibson @stgibsonofficial and Communications Manager Caroline Crook @yourfavoriteauntcarol (yours truly), have each shared a picture of our own sacred spaces and described the contents therein.

Saint’s Space

There are a number of sacred spaces scattered throughout my house; the rose-scented Our Lady of Guadalupe candle and collection of crystals in my bedroom, the shelf where my fiancé and I remember our departed ancestors with little photos and trinkets, and the font of holy water affixed to the wall by the front door. But the most prominent sacred space in my home is the altar table set up in the living room, underneath a gilded icon of the Madonna and child.

On it, I keep all my candles and figurines representing the saints and angels, and some beloved keepsakes, like dried flowers, gifted rosaries, and letters from friends. The plate in the center of the altar features a painting of the last supper and is used for offerings: generally water, and sometimes alcohol or milk depending on whether or not that's appropriate to the petition or the day on the church calendar. My household celebrates both the Christian holidays and the pagan wheel of the year, so the decorations on the altar change out with feast days and seasons. The candles around the offering plate change, but there's always a sacred heart of Jesus and a Mary mother of God burning away, and usually a Saint Jude and a Saint Joseph as well. I burn a rainbow candle to remember the queer saints of the church both known and unknown, and to ask for God's protection on LGBTQ+ people worldwide.

My patron saint is the archangel Uriel, patron of confirmation in the Episcopal church and of poets and scholars widely. My golden Uriel figurine presides over his side of the altar, along with a figurine of the archangel Raphael, my fiancé's patron. We've got all sorts of talismans and charms representing the four archangels, and we have a fiery red candle for the archangel Michael that stands looped in a necklace featuring a ward against the evil eye. A golden pietà, my fiancé's greatest thrift store find, watches over all the candles. We've also got a colored figurine of the Infant of Prague standing proudly over a photograph of my fiancé and I. That's because the very first letter my fiancé ever sent me was a photograph of the Infant when he was traveling abroad, and we like to think he watches over us.

There are prayer cards littered about, and I often find myself reaching for Saint Ignatius of Loyola or Saint John the Revelator in times of need. We also usually keep incense burning in a metal cauldron that's always stuffed full of salt and ashes. Frankincense, rose, and lemongrass are my favorites. There are also many taper candles that I've saved from trips to other churches or from sung masses on Michaelmas and Christmas Eve.

I've been curating sacred space in every dorm room and apartment I've lived in for years, and this is by far my most favorite space yet. There's enough room to stand while you pray and move items around, but it's small enough that I could pack up everything on the altar into one box if I needed to. The table stands right between the living room and the kitchen, in the heart of the home, and it makes me feel like blessings are being disseminated from the altar to every room in the house. It's a way to keep a little bit of divinity always within arms reach, incarnate in rosaries and candles and bottles of holy water. With my altar nearby, I feel prepared for any spiritual celebration or crisis, and I know exactly where to retrieve up my spiritual tools when the occasion calls for it.

Caroline’s Space

Let’s call my sacred space an acoustic version of what a sacred space can be. It’s only a few months old; yet another quarantine project. Cluttered? Yes. Often mistaken as just a shelf for all my candles? Also yes. But it serves my spiritual life in ways that I personally find intuitive and accessible.

Of the three bookshelves in my apartment, this one is in a central spot in the living room, facing the couch. It’s part of the space and rhythm where most of my daily life takes place. Especially during quarantine when my brain fog is even worse than normal, it’s nice to be able to naturally glance over at this shelf and quickly check in with its contents.

Said contents are 95% candles. Whenever I need to set aside some time for an intentional, spiritually fulfilling practice (whether prayer, yoga, reading, writing, or just a break from social media) I light a candle. On days of significance (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.) or to pray for a loved one, I’ll light a smaller tealight candle in the centerpiece and let it burn for the day.

The remaining 5% is all gifted, bought or found objects from friends and family members. The centerpiece is a candle/incense holder one of my oldest and dearest friends gave to me. There is a glass dish of crystals, shells and sharks’ teeth, all collected over the years between Florida and DC, with family and friends. The glass bottle in the corner was a gift from a friend’s wedding last summer, and I keep that filled with rainwater or holy water, depending on what’s at hand. There’s a crystal seashell towards the back that was a gift from my late grandmother. Each of these objects, to me, represents the many connections, joys and loves in my life. I’m also part magpie, so it’s nice to have a place where these odds and ends I collect can be 1) on display, 2) out of the way.

Other objects come and go, as I like to place items on this shelf that symbolize what’s on my heart at the time. Coins, written turns of phrase, scraps from old clothes, photos of loved ones, etc. Occasionally the odd tarot card, if I’m looking for a stronger visual.

For years this surface was just part candle repository, part please-God-do-not-forget-to-return-these-library-books shelf. It had a vague purpose, and certainly held things that are important to me, but not in an especially meaningful way. The act of curating this space -- choosing that shelf, cleaning it up, deciding what to place where, and maintaining it over time -- has been a source of calm, inspiration, and reflection. It’s still a work in progress though; I have a holly wreath I place around the centerpiece during the holidays, and am looking into getting a wreath to celebrate each season in the year. To, you know, help me remember that time is still passing in quarantine (I want to say April was… two weeks ago?)

If you feel so inclined, we would love to hear from you as well: what does a sacred space mean to you? What sacred spaces have you cultivated or visited?

If you’re curious about cultivating your own sacred space with the help of an expert, book your first free virtual session with Fratres Dei Spiritual Direction in the comments.

Saint offers tarot readings that are affirming, insightful and welcome to all. Check out Holy Roots Tarot using the link in the comments.

February 18, 2021 | Denver, Colorado

[alistonjdrake]

June’s World Building Cheat Sheet: Part Four - I Love God. Do You Love God?

I’m gonna be honest. My main focus when I created the religion for Of Rust and Gold/The Saints’ Song series was the political side and the hierarchy of positions within the institution. The actual belief system was not something I fleshed out until maybe months into writing the story. It’s actually surprisingly easy to get away with the bare bones of what makes a religion without question. Again, not an expert. But I have a fully realized fictional religion now. More than one if I want to brag, so I can talk about it. 

Is It Real?

I mean. Yes. It should be real to the characters who believe in it. I find in most fantasy stories I read their religion is undoubtedly true. Sometimes their gods are actually interacting with the characters or they worship literal magic or something but I write low fantasy so usually in my head the things I care about most is 

Religion as an explanation for the unknown.

Religion as an institution 

How much power religion holds over people

I read a lot of books about medieval Christianity (wild by the way) and corrupt popes. The amount of demon babies, flagellants, and people going on about the genderless spirits of angels is something we all greatly lack in our daily lives. Basically though, when something happened that people could not explain they often turned to religion or folklore. There’s a storm so god’s angry or Billy’s acting weird so clearly he was replaced by a mystical creature. A lot of the time, since religion in fantasy is real it just explains the things that are known and true about the world but I personally like it still being around to fill in gaps in things a community may not have discovered yet, or just blatantly refuse to believe because they already have an explanation that works for them. 

Back to my buzz words of making a world feel full and lived in: Characters can have conflicting beliefs about the same things. Or y’know, why aren’t there more fantasy atheists? Religious branches and sects of the same core also make things feel more realized and for me it makes it easy to start talking about the institution if it’s broken into so many different parts with new belief systems popping up under the same umbrella. 

I write political fantasy so religion as a power is what is most interesting to me. How much does it control? Is there a pope-like figure in the fantasy world? Do they crown and uncrown monarchs or play with worldly politicals or cause holy wars? How much significance is religion given? Does more than one nation share the same religion or similar figures? What parts of life does religion control? 

Ya know. Things like marriage and wedding ceremonies or education or maybe it’s just the place for local gossip. 

If there are different religions within a setting, do they overlap at all? How, if at all, do they interact with each other? 

I think it’s also important to ask what role it's supposed to serve in the story.

Alright. I’ll Talk About Holidays  

Yes. I know all holidays aren’t religious but for non-religious holidays we can just jump back to creating a history and deciding what a society/culture prioritizes. Or look at their environment. What gets them to celebrate? The Escana Empire cheers on the end of the hurricane season with festivals and parties. Oskya celebrates the victorious end to the Republic of Abenland. 

Now, religious holidays. I often find myself coming up with what a religion celebrates as a gateway to me figuring out what they worship. And what holidays are more widely celebrated vs ones that are considered for the strongly devout? And if more than one country worships the same religion, how do the cultures put a different spin on the same holiday? 

I said in my last post that the Escana Empire recently switched religions and as such a lot of their old holidays they just slapped new names on or switched out who or what they were celebrating because they’ll be damned before they lose an excuse to party. The abundance of festivals and drinking is a vast difference than the more stern and subdued celebration of the same holiday in another country. 

Really holidays can be anything from celebrating important achievements, birthdays or special dates relating popular figures, times of year, shared religious dates, and then I just decide based on the culture I’ve built a base for how the people within it are most likely to interact with the idea of said holiday.

Goddamn Calendars  

I was specifically told to mention this. So I will. I usually model my calendars off a religious one where dates are recorded after some significant event in the popular or most powerful religion. In Of Rust of Gold, all months are named after 12 Saints (and one extra month for New Year’s day) and the years are recorded after the date the Saints had a war and left humanity. And of course, any time before that is simply recorded as being before the current age. I don’t think calendars have to be produced from a religious institution, however. I just found this the easiest to adopt for my own world building and for the purposes of my story. 

tagging interested parties:  @emofairykei​ @asablehart​ @space-cadead​ @mirror-of-too-many-books​ @shattered-starrs

[dustedmagazine]

Derek Taylor 2019: Keep Going

Two words coupled by Harriet Tubman and coined into a credo essential for negotiating the human condition. It's also the title of and invocation to a sublime duo album by Joe McPhee and Hamid Drake released this year as rejoinder to their first recorded ten-years earlier. Taking stock of that decade is something we at Dusted did recently and as the New Year arrives it’s an exercise that feels all the more important, particularly in the extra-musical sense of recognizing the folly of where we’ve been as a world and where we really want to go moving forward. As always, music is both balm and adhesive in remembering that no matter how divisive and discouraging everything seems, we’re still all in it together.

Joe McPhee

Seventy-nine-years young and still a human dynamo of energy, empathy, and optimism, the Powerhouse from Poughkeepsie’s been a constant of these retrospective essays for as long as I’ve been writing them. I haven’t done a hard count, but his horns grace at least a dozen releases this year. Duos with Mats Gustaffson (Brace for Impact), Fred Lonberg-Holm (No Time Left for Sadness), and Paal Nilssen-Love (Song for the Big Chief) join the dyad denoted above in delivering dialogues as personal as they are potent. Tree Dancing assembles the super-group of Lol Coxhill, Evan Parker, Chris Corsano, and McPhee collectively and in component combinations with bassist John Edwards on board for a culminating cut, while Six Situations realizes a dream of bassist Damon Smith in teaming him with McPhee’s tenor and now dearly departed drummer Alvin Fielder. The Fire Each Time bundles six concerts of McPhee in the company of the DKV Trio from a 2017 tour that took James Baldwin and John Coltrane as lodestones. Saving perhaps the best for last, Invitation to a Dream comingles McPhee’s pocket trumpet and soprano with pedal steel guitarist Susan Alcorn and old confrere Ken Vandermark in a tripart colloquy delivered in crystal clear sound.

 Peter Brötzmann

A year younger and another fixture in my yearly firmament, Herr Brötz has always had ears attuned to the early pioneers of improvised music through the unabashed embrace of Sidney Bechet, Coleman Hawkins, and others. Those unerring affections erode some of the surprise from I Surrender Dear, an album of tenor-rendered jazz standards and originals, but also enhance the overall experience in how literally he makes good on the debt. It’s arguably his best solo album since 14 Love Poems and bolstered further by the focus on a single central member of his reed arsenal. Also of note, Fifty Years After commemorating the golden anniversary of Machine Gun with longtime confreres German pianist Alexander von Schlippenbach and Dutch drummer Han Bennink,

 Rob Franken Electrification — Functional Stereo Music (678 Records)

Four-hours of Fender Rhodes heaven recorded in elite Dutch studios between 1972 and 1981 that puzzlingly never found commercial circulation until last year as a six-LP series. The 2019 edition transfers the archive to three-CDs and only rarely flags as Franken’s fonky keys front guitar, bass, drums and a revolving cast of fellow aces fielding other instruments. Economy is the informal edict as morsel-sized originals alternate with covers of tunes by Herbie Hancock, Stevie Wonder, Atilla Zoller, and even Steely Dan. The utilitarian intimations of the title aren’t just lip service. Franken originally envisioned the music as an homage to the muzak strains common to “shopping malls, hotels, elevators, department stores, and airports.” Much of it sounds far better aligned with the kinetic cop and detective pot-boilers that populated television and cinema of the decade.

 Brian Groder Trio – Luminous Arcs (Latham)

Keeping a working improvising ensemble together is no minor accomplishment, yet Groder’s been able to maintain one in his name with bassist Michael Bisio and drummer Jay Rosen. This disc joins two previous albums in demonstrating both the depth of the musicians’ bonds and their shared zeal in exploring and capitalizing on them. Any novelty surrounding the particulars of a trumpet-led piano-less trio is fortunately long since lapsed. The precedence allows them to marshal their attention to shaping music that is simultaneously the sum and multiplication of the substantial parts.

 V/A — Pakistan: Folk and Pop Instrumentals 1966-1976 (Sublime Frequencies)

Seattle-based Sublime Frequencies weathered a stretch where the “weirdness” quotient of their audio excavations appeared to outweigh accompanying scholarship and attention to edifying annotations. This scintillating compilation suffers no such skew in the balance of carefully sourced sounds and accompanying copy to shore up the context. Sixties rock, specifically surf, is a through-line in the preponderance of reverb-riddled guitars and buzzing Farfisa organ on many of the tracks, but indigenous melodies and rhythms are also frequent fodder for enthusiastic appropriation. Best of all, there’s a pervasive sense of fun to the sequencing that makes it a handy soundtrack for soirees of all sorts.

 Jaimie Branch — Fly or Die II (International Anthem)

If her ascendant flight pattern is any indication, death, artistic or otherwise, isn’t even an option for Jaimie Branch. This follow-up to her meteoric (and long overdue) 2017 debut builds organically on previous cosmetic aspects (core quartet, cover art, etc.) while making progressive-pronged politics even more prominent. “Prayer for Amerikkka” doesn’t mince words in proffering a platform of resistance and the musical propellant to keep it confidently airborne. A robust touring schedule and well-earned media attention are only furthering Branch’s designs at getting the sounds into as many ears as possible.

 Sam Rivers

The Sam Rivers Archive Series is the brainchild of producers Danas Mikailionis and Ed Hazell. A projected eight-volume celebration of the music of the eponymous composer/improviser/educator/doyen curated from a vast trove left in the care of Rivers’ daughter after his passing in 2011, it’s also probably the jazz news that most set my heart aflutter with anticipation this year. The initial pair of entries, Emanation and Zenith, certainly live up to the promise in presenting clean fidelity concerts by a high profile trio with bassist Cecil McBee and drummer Norman Conners (pre-disco) and a workshop quintet involving tubaist Joe Daley, bassist Dave Holland and the eight-limbed drums juggernaut of Barry Altschul and Charlie Persip. Both discs are essential.

 Jimi Hendrix — Songs for Groovy Children (Experience Hendrix)

Not a long-lost Hendrix kids’ album despite what the jejune title might suggest. Instead, it’s four nearly complete concerts from the guitar deity’s iconic New Year’s Band of Gypsies engagement at the Fillmore East in 1969/70. Producer Eddie Kramer largely quashes his invasive impulses in mastering the tapes, leaving the only real minuses to manifest in the occasionally extra-loose interplay and Jimi’s decision to indulge Buddy Miles’ mic access to a regrettably arguable fault. Math done, there’s nothing stopping an instant trigger-pull for true believers, even folks who have it all already in bootleg form.

 Ezz-thetics

Fingers remain collectively-crossed that Werner X. Uehlingher will one day decide to write an autobiography of his countless adventures as a stalwart producer of improvised music. Ezz-thetics is just the latest chapter in the future tome’s story arc that started with the founding of the Hat Hut label back in 1974. The new imprint, named after a classic George Russell composition, balances reissue and archival releases with new ones, packing them with branding that memorializes the old while consecrating the new. Discs by Jimmy Giuffre (Graz Live 1961), John Coltrane (Impressions Graz 1962), and Albert Ayler (Quartets 1964 Spirits to Ghosts Revisted) are the marquee name highlights, but the entirety of the imprint’s releases to-date have had their merits.

 Stephen Riley

The tenorist is no longer my favorite under-forty plier on the instrument simply because he’s aged out of the bracket. Oleo builds on last year’s transparently veiled Sonny Rollins’ tribute Hold ‘Em Joe by adding the sturdy trumpet of Joe Magnarelli to the equation and turning the referential calendar forward to the saxophone colossus’ collaborations with Don Cherry. It’s a beaut from a brisk beginning sortie on “Ornithology” to lengthy slalom on the Ducal “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore.” Tangerine Rhapsody is technically under Dutch drummer Snorre Kirk’s leadership, but it wouldn’t be nearly the album it is absent Riley’s supple and sagacious involvement.

 Milt Buckner & Jo Jones — Buck & Jo (Fremeaux & Associates)

Curious about what makes an individual improviser tick? Duo contexts are arguably the best aperture to gain edification and insight. Even better than solo or ensemble configurations, the dyad distills things down to solo and dialogue. This four-disc, four-hour-plus collection is a remarkable case in point and surprise that it even exists at all given its vintage let alone its scope. Thank French impresarios the Panassie Brothers who invited ur swing organist and ur swing drummer to indulge themselves with only the gentlest of producer-dictated strictures. The results are fascinating, whimsical, bombastic, and above all, endlessly entertaining. An epitome of intimately undertaken jazz tête-à-tête before it was anything resembling a regular thing.

 Del Shannon — Two Silhouettes (Bear Family)

Preconceptions can prove obdurate edifices. Prior to my forty-eighth birthday this year I dismissed Del Shannon as one of the disposable princes of bubble gum pop on the rare occasions he entered my consciousness at all. “Runaway” remains an influential song, particularly in its use of musitron organ, but it’s hardly the makings of unassailable genius. Bear Family’s exhaustive single-disc survey levies a much more convincing appeal for the crooner’s embodiment of a nexus of odd congruencies as moonlighting jazzmen conspire with duck-tailed rockers and barbershop harmonists. Dennis Coffey and Hargus “Pig” Robbins show up as sidemen and there’s even an S&M-tinged canticle called “Torture” replete with whip cracks and a Greek chorus of moans, leaving one to wonder what Ward and June Cleaver made of it all?

 Sun Ra

Cosmic Myth and Modern Harmonic continue to advance the mantle apparently abandoned by the Art Yard label in keeping Ra-related albums in circulation. The erstwhile Mr. Mystery employed numerous vocalists throughout his career, even contributing his own less-than-stellar (pun intended) pipes to the cause on occasion. None among that eclectic number could match June Tyson, who brought joie de vivre to the lyrical manifestations of Ra’s cosmic-afro-centrism that was at once wholly believable and infectious. Saturnian Queen of the Sun Ra Arkestra does right by her memory by culling an hour’s worth of highlights from a vast and varied recorded archive. Monorails & Satellites (now in three volumes!) and newly minted editions of Pathways to Unknown Worlds and When Angels Speak of Love were also welcome arrivals.

 Derek Bailey/Han Bennink/Evan Parker — Topographie Parisienne: Dunois, April 3rd, 1981 (Fou)

The Topography of the Lungs trio in concert and at length with decent sound eleven-years after their initial seismic contributions to free improv. Bailey and Parker weren’t yet at irreconcilable loggerheads but there’s still a galvanizing and palpable tension that suffuses their interplay. Bennink can’t help being anything but Bennink, bashing away one moment and pattering at barely a whisper the next while keeping ears cocked with split-second focus to the contributions his compatriots. Duos combine with solos from Parker sweeten and season an already delicious aural pot.

 Fred Anderson Quartet — Live at the Velvet Lounge Volume V (FPE)

Leftfield guest Toshinori Kondo and drummer Hamid Drake were one half of Peter Brötzmann’s Die Like a Dog outfit when this 1994 concert was committed to tape. That take-no-prisoners context allowed his plangent, frenetic, effects-saturated brass free and ferocious rein. Anderson’s outlets didn’t usually involve electronics and its instructive hearing the adaptations to the roiling controlled-chaos within his customary cerulean-hued improvisations. Drake and bassist Tastu Aoki maintain a stout terrestrial tether enlivened by a revolving array of undulating grooves. Extra points earned for incorporating the original Velvet Lounge wallpaper scheme into the production design. Bottom line: I miss Fred.

 V/A — Hillbillies in Hell: Tribulations: Country Music’s Tormented Testament (1952-1974) (The Omni Recording Corporation)

Amusing alliterative appellation aside, this series has managed the no-meager-feat of avoiding diminishing returns while mining the same expanse of time over successive volumes. The fifth entry tilts the lens even more sharply toward the sort of fervent tent show revival circuit favored by fictional religious reprobates like Rev. Harry Powell and Elmer Gantry and comes up with a bonanza off-kilter cuts from names both famous (Hank Williams, Louvin Bros., Tex Ritter) and arcane (The Burton Family, Durwood Daily, The Sunshine Boys Quartet). Ernest Tubb’s “Saturday Satan, Sunday Saint” persuasively sums up the ecumenical ethos, but every song exudes its share of sinful charms.

  V/A — Sacred Sounds: Dave Hamilton’s Raw Detroit Gospel (Ace)

As a both prolific and preternaturally talented producer, Dave Hamilton’s usual purview was left-of-center soul and funk. Urban (but not urbane) gospel offered a less-publicized commercial side outlet and he brought comparable emphasis on authenticity and creativity to the various acts he championed. This compilation comprises all-killer-no-filler assemblage that lives up to the unvarnished signifier in the title. It’s nearly eighty-minutes of jangly guitars, tambourines, and impassioned sanctifying and proselytizing of all sorts, as suited for Sunday morning as Friday or Saturday night depending on the preferred mood of your personal household. I’ve enjoyed equal fun plying it in both.

 Art Pepper — Promise Kept

Laurie Pepper, like Sue Mingus and other jazz widows before her, remains a passionate arbiter and steward of her late husband’s recorded legacy. The title of this box set collecting a singular tributary of Art Pepper’s later career aspirations could just as easily serve as a signifier of that bond. In truth, it’s reflective of a pact the couple made with producer John Snyder and a string of studio sessions largely left unissued during the Pepper’s lifetime. Rivalries real and imagined are revealed across the recordings as the altoist wrestles with his insecurities and the realities of choices made and paid for as a consequence of his addictions and fictions. Straightforward and vital, the music avoids gestalt in remaining consistently strong and emotionally true.

 Paul Bley/Gary Peacock/Paul Motian — When Will the Blues Leave (ECM)

The prevailing mystery behind this twenty-year-old concert rests on the reason(s) why the fine folks at ECM left it in the can for so long. I don’t have an answer but rather a simple expression of gratitude that they finally decided to rectify the error and get the sounds out into the world. Bley, Peacock and Motian were already three-decades deep in the periodic associations that quietly helped open chamber jazz to free improvisation when they took to the Swiss stage. The ensuing masterful performance manages to feel simultaneously like three old friends shooting the shit and a trio of improvisatory experts operating at peak collective capacity.

 Prince — 1999 (Warner)

Residency in the Twin Cities for the better part of two decades has resulted in many boons, personal and vocational for this writer. As with any life lived, the red side of the ledger has entries, too. Folded among them is the frictional, frayed listening relationship I harbor with the region’s most famous musical export. Nearly three years after his premature passing Prince is still everywhere and everything here. That perpetual, and perpetually irksome, ubiquity is what makes this five-disc+DVD beyond-exhaustive box so refreshing to my patience-tested purview. It contains lots of impressive material from arguably his most creative and questing period. It also has plenty of songs that feel competent but quotidian by comparison. That blend of bliss and banality is as effective a corrective as I can think of to the cult of purple sainthood that persists around these parts.  

 And as is my habitual wont, 25 more in no hierarchical order… thank you for reading and Feliz Año Nuevo!  

Josh Abrams Natural Information Society (Eremite)

Michael Formanek’s Very Practical Trio – Even Better (Intakt)

Charles Gayle/John Edwards/Mark Sanders – Seasons Changing (Otokroku)

Dudu Pukwana/Han Bennink/Misha Mengelberg – Yi Yole (ICP/Corbett vs. Dempsey)

Nat King Cole – Hittin’ the Ramp: The Early Years (1936-1945) (Resonance)

Willem Breuker & Han Bennink – New Acoustic Swing Duo (ICP/Corbett vs. Dempsey)

Whit Dickey & Kirk Knuffke – Drone Dream (No Business)

Mark Turner & Gary Foster – Mark Turner Meets Gary Foster (Capri)

J.C. Heard & Bill Perkins Quintet – Live at the Lighthouse 1964 (Fresh Sound)

Stan Getz – Getz at the Gate: November 26, 1961 (Verve)

Rita Moss - Queen Moss 1951-1959 (Fresh Sound)

Bill Frisell & Thomas Morgan – Epistrophy (ECM)

Marion Brown & Dave Burrell – Live at the Black Musicians’ Conference, 1981 (No Business)

Jon Irabagon – Invisible Horizon (Irrabagast)

Tom Rainey Trio – Combobulated (Intakt)

Joe Lovano & Enrico Rava Quintet – Roma (ECM)

Tomeka Reid Quartet – Old New (Cuneiform)

Johnny Griffin & Eddie “Lockjaw” Davis – Ow: Live at the Penthouse (Reel to Reel)

Takahashi Miyasaka – Animals Garden (Kojima/BBE)

Tiger Trio (Joelle Leandre/Myra Melford/Nicole Mitchell) – Map of Liberation (Rogue Art)

V/A – Jambu: E Os Miticos Sons da Amazonia (Analog Africa)

V/A – Put the Whole Armour On: Female Black Gospel 1940s/1950s (Gospel Friend)

V/A –Alefa Madagascar: Salegy, Soukous, & Soul from the Red Island (Strut)

Horace Tapscott with the Pan Afrikan Peoples Arkestra and the Great Voice of UGMAA - Why Don’t You Listen? Live at LACMA 1998 (Dark Tree)

Duster – Capsule Losing Contact (Numero)

[wineanddinosaur]

From Mixologist to Master Taster, Old Forester’s Jackie Zykan Is Officially a Major Name in Bourbon

Old Forester master taster Jackie Zykan became a household name earlier this year — albeit in a literal sense.

When the brand released the first expression of its highly coveted 117 Series “High Angels’ Share” in March 2021, Zykan etched her name in history by having her signature on the label. The unique packaging design also meant Zykan’s name would soon populate whiskey collections up and down the country — or at least, those of enthusiasts who were lucky enough to get their hands on the limited-edition run.

Any exploration of Zykan’s career cannot ignore that she is among the small number of women to hold a high-profile role in bourbon, an industry that has has a long legacy of male founders, owners, and master distillers. In fact, hers is the first name to adorn an Old Forester label that doesn’t belong to a man. But focusing on the historic nature of her signature on the 117 Series bottle risks distracting from the whiskey inside, and from her growing force within bourbon as a whole.

While the 117 Series is the first Old Forester release to be solely directed by Zykan, it is not the first expression she has had a hand in that had an impact on the bourbon world. Last year, she worked alongside master distiller Chris Morris to comprise three separate blends from 150 barrels for the Old Forester 150th Anniversary Bourbon. Released with a suggested retail price of $150, bottles quickly became collectors’ items and now command four or five times as much in retail channels (and even more in illegal online marketplaces). During the pandemic, Zykan also spearheaded Old Forester’s Master Tasters selection, a popular program that saw single-barrel releases sold for curbside pickup, with a portion of proceeds donated to charities in Louisville.

In a recent virtual sit-down with VinePair, Zykan discussed the singular nature of her role as a master taster; how her previous professional endeavours have led to more “resistance” in the whiskey industry than her gender; and what exactly the release of the 117 Series means to her.

[Editor’s note: This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.]

1. Your official title at Old Forester is “Master Taster.” Can you explain what that role entails and how it differs from a master distiller or a master blender?

As it stands right now, my job focuses more on the post-maturation side of things than the pre-maturation side. I take what’s already been laid down and then decide what to do with it from that point forward. There is no clear-cut, industry-standard definition for master taster. My role, in particular, is half production and half global marketing.

New product development also comes through me. I’m transitioning more into the master blender side, but the main difference between my role and a master blender is the authority to make decisions on certain things. Right now, I’m still working very much hand-in-hand with Chris Morris on a lot of our projects, especially things that he started before I was with the brand. I do lead our single-barrel inventory, though, and programs like the 117 Series and President’s Choice. Every day, I’m getting more involved in projects and taking over Old Forester — whether they want me to or not, I’m doing it.

2. You studied biology and chemistry, then later worked in mixology. How do those different fields inform and help your day-to-day work?

The science education background has been crucial not just to my own understanding of our processes, but also to be able to communicate with a variety of audiences. We’re never just talking to whiskey nerds or bartenders, or the random consumer that only drinks vodka and wants to switch over. The audiences are very diverse. When it comes to new product development, the science background also helps to understand what’s going on from a molecular standpoint, and how to curate different whiskey flavor profiles.

The mixology part is interesting because, while I can’t speak for our competitors, I think I’m the only master taster [Old Forester parent company] Brown-Forman has ever had that has actual experience in the bar industry. Knowing what we can and should be doing with cocktails adds another layer of being able to connect with potential consumers.

3. What trends do you see leading bourbon right now, whether from a “purist” standpoint or the broader market in general?

Different perspectives will give you different answers on this. I think we’re still in the midst of the high-proof movement, and we definitely see that translate into what moves in our portfolio. I wouldn’t say that’s a new thing, and I think there’s a lot behind the high-proof whiskey surge. People get acclimated to the category and realize, “Oh, I actually am not afraid of the taste of this brown spirit.” Then, it’s not enough to just be able to drink bourbon, you have to drink the biggest bourbon and the most expensive bourbon. For somebody that has access to barrel-strength liquid and chooses to not drink it on a regular basis, the race to see who can consume the highest percentage of alcohol is fascinating. Back in the day, nobody was searching for Bacardi 151. Now people wait in line for it.

[Another trend is] single barrels. They’re all very unique, and they’re not replicable; I think the snowflake appeal is a huge part of it. I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from retailers that I’ve done tastings with in recent weeks that want to come to the distillery for single-barrel selection. They don’t want to grab the core stuff anymore.

[We’re also seeing] people play around with mash bills — and you’re always going to see that until people realize that novelty is not sustainable. It’s nice to have fun every now and then, but making sure that you are transparent about your process and doing things from a quality standpoint is timeless.

4. We are around two decades into a “bourbon boom,” the likes of which we have probably never seen before. What can producers such as Old Forester do to ensure that bourbon never goes the way of vodka, which still enjoys incredible sales but doesn’t quite have the cachet that it once did?

There’s a lot of interesting things to unpack here but I [should first say] we are very grateful for the boom. People such as myself have amazing jobs with great brands because of it.

I was once told that alcohol trends go through 30-year cycles, so if we really are in the second decade of this, that would mean that we would start to see the decline soon. The thing is, in the U.S. especially, we’re so much closer to the trend, so the boom seems much bigger to us than it is on a global level. It is creeping into global markets now, and we are seeing a lot more movement out there, but I think that there’s still a lot of opportunity for growth until we get to a point of saturation and exhaustion.

[When] other markets further from home (and maybe less regulated) start catching wind, that’s when we risk compromises to the category. I think we are in for a fight that most people probably haven’t anticipated, trying to [enforce] more rigid regulations, especially in more global markets.

We definitely don’t see [the boom] fizzling out any time soon and, fingers crossed, we hope it doesn’t. It’s not like the vodka industry where you can just pluck a flavor off a tree and you have a new product. We’re sitting on inventory and hoping for the best.

5. What is the most exciting time of the year for you in your role, and what do you look forward to most on the bourbon calendar throughout the year?

It used to be that you had the “busy” seasons: September is always busy because of [the annual release of] Birthday Bourbon, and it’s Bourbon Heritage Month. And when the weather starts cooling down in general, you start to see more interest in aged spirits. That is just not the case anymore. It’s a year-round season that does not slow down. From my perspective, Derby season is always equally as chaotic as it is enjoyable; very media-heavy and very taxing. It‘s full-throttle but these are great problems to have.

6. Can you describe how having your signature on the 117 Series felt for yourself, and what it might mean for other women wishing to follow in your footsteps in the bourbon industry?

It’s still surreal, to be honest, and I forget that my name is on the thing. It wasn’t my idea; it was brought up when we were doing label design for the series and [Old Forester president and managing director] Campbell Brown said, “It’s time to give credit where credit is due.”

I think it’s a big deal as far as normalizing [women in] an industry that was, and still is, very male-dominated. I never set out to do that; I didn’t grow up to one day to show them that girls like whiskey, too. More often than not, though, I feel resistance in the whiskey category not from being a woman, but from having a background behind the bar. You get categorized as “once a bartender, always a bartender.” Not a lot of people in roles like mine have that background, as I mentioned earlier. A lot of them either have family members that got them into the business or they have marketing degrees, which I do not. I feel more “black sheep-ish” — if I can use that term — from that sense, rather than from being a woman.

While it is surreal, I will say that when that product came out, it was very nerve-racking. It set the stage for what I’m going to do from this point forward in my career. If I didn’t get it right, it would be a constant fight against the current, trying to prove myself. If I came out of the gate with something solid that people embraced, it would be more smooth-sailing. I’m very happy that the series was well received because that gives me a lot less stress for the next expressions. I know they won’t be all home runs — and that’s OK. It started with a really good one that’s near and dear to my heart.

7. I’ve read that your preferred pour for the 117 Series is over ice to enjoy it over time. That seems to speak to your background in mixology versus pure distillation, especially as some “purists” might raise their eyebrows at that?

I’ve definitely gotten mixed feedback on that since we released the series. I could have bottled it at a higher or lower proof and I would still say, add water to it. The idea remains that when you have barrels that have such concentrated flavor to them, it’s an experience. It’s not taking a sip and then going on with your day. It’s a sit-down, share-it, and talk-about-it whiskey. The moment of whiskey is just as important as the actual liquid itself. It’s a ritual. I didn’t want to shortchange that by going ahead and skipping to the good parts. Letting people explore with it was really part of the intention.

The article From Mixologist to Master Taster, Old Forester’s Jackie Zykan Is Officially a Major Name in Bourbon appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/jackie-zykan-old-forester-bourbon/

[johnboothus]

From Mixologist to Master Taster Old Foresters Jackie Zykan Is Officially a Major Name in Bourbon

Old Forester master taster Jackie Zykan became a household name earlier this year — albeit in a literal sense.

When the brand released the first expression of its highly coveted 117 Series “High Angels’ Share” in March 2021, Zykan etched her name in history by having her signature on the label. The unique packaging design also meant Zykan’s name would soon populate whiskey collections up and down the country — or at least, those of enthusiasts who were lucky enough to get their hands on the limited-edition run.

Any exploration of Zykan’s career cannot ignore that she is among the small number of women to hold a high-profile role in bourbon, an industry that has has a long legacy of male founders, owners, and master distillers. In fact, hers is the first name to adorn an Old Forester label that doesn’t belong to a man. But focusing on the historic nature of her signature on the 117 Series bottle risks distracting from the whiskey inside, and from her growing force within bourbon as a whole.

While the 117 Series is the first Old Forester release to be solely directed by Zykan, it is not the first expression she has had a hand in that had an impact on the bourbon world. Last year, she worked alongside master distiller Chris Morris to comprise three separate blends from 150 barrels for the Old Forester 150th Anniversary Bourbon. Released with a suggested retail price of $150, bottles quickly became collectors’ items and now command four or five times as much in retail channels (and even more in illegal online marketplaces). During the pandemic, Zykan also spearheaded Old Forester’s Master Tasters selection, a popular program that saw single-barrel releases sold for curbside pickup, with a portion of proceeds donated to charities in Louisville.

In a recent virtual sit-down with VinePair, Zykan discussed the singular nature of her role as a master taster; how her previous professional endeavours have led to more “resistance” in the whiskey industry than her gender; and what exactly the release of the 117 Series means to her.

[Editor’s note: This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.]

1. Your official title at Old Forester is “Master Taster.” Can you explain what that role entails and how it differs from a master distiller or a master blender?

As it stands right now, my job focuses more on the post-maturation side of things than the pre-maturation side. I take what’s already been laid down and then decide what to do with it from that point forward. There is no clear-cut, industry-standard definition for master taster. My role, in particular, is half production and half global marketing.

New product development also comes through me. I’m transitioning more into the master blender side, but the main difference between my role and a master blender is the authority to make decisions on certain things. Right now, I’m still working very much hand-in-hand with Chris Morris on a lot of our projects, especially things that he started before I was with the brand. I do lead our single-barrel inventory, though, and programs like the 117 Series and President’s Choice. Every day, I’m getting more involved in projects and taking over Old Forester — whether they want me to or not, I’m doing it.

2. You studied biology and chemistry, then later worked in mixology. How do those different fields inform and help your day-to-day work?

The science education background has been crucial not just to my own understanding of our processes, but also to be able to communicate with a variety of audiences. We’re never just talking to whiskey nerds or bartenders, or the random consumer that only drinks vodka and wants to switch over. The audiences are very diverse. When it comes to new product development, the science background also helps to understand what’s going on from a molecular standpoint, and how to curate different whiskey flavor profiles.

The mixology part is interesting because, while I can’t speak for our competitors, I think I’m the only master taster [Old Forester parent company] Brown-Forman has ever had that has actual experience in the bar industry. Knowing what we can and should be doing with cocktails adds another layer of being able to connect with potential consumers.

3. What trends do you see leading bourbon right now, whether from a “purist” standpoint or the broader market in general?

Different perspectives will give you different answers on this. I think we’re still in the midst of the high-proof movement, and we definitely see that translate into what moves in our portfolio. I wouldn’t say that’s a new thing, and I think there’s a lot behind the high-proof whiskey surge. People get acclimated to the category and realize, “Oh, I actually am not afraid of the taste of this brown spirit.” Then, it’s not enough to just be able to drink bourbon, you have to drink the biggest bourbon and the most expensive bourbon. For somebody that has access to barrel-strength liquid and chooses to not drink it on a regular basis, the race to see who can consume the highest percentage of alcohol is fascinating. Back in the day, nobody was searching for Bacardi 151. Now people wait in line for it.

[Another trend is] single barrels. They’re all very unique, and they’re not replicable; I think the snowflake appeal is a huge part of it. I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from retailers that I’ve done tastings with in recent weeks that want to come to the distillery for single-barrel selection. They don’t want to grab the core stuff anymore.

[We’re also seeing] people play around with mash bills — and you’re always going to see that until people realize that novelty is not sustainable. It’s nice to have fun every now and then, but making sure that you are transparent about your process and doing things from a quality standpoint is timeless.

4. We are around two decades into a “bourbon boom,” the likes of which we have probably never seen before. What can producers such as Old Forester do to ensure that bourbon never goes the way of vodka, which still enjoys incredible sales but doesn’t quite have the cachet that it once did?

There’s a lot of interesting things to unpack here but I [should first say] we are very grateful for the boom. People such as myself have amazing jobs with great brands because of it.

I was once told that alcohol trends go through 30-year cycles, so if we really are in the second decade of this, that would mean that we would start to see the decline soon. The thing is, in the U.S. especially, we’re so much closer to the trend, so the boom seems much bigger to us than it is on a global level. It is creeping into global markets now, and we are seeing a lot more movement out there, but I think that there’s still a lot of opportunity for growth until we get to a point of saturation and exhaustion.

[When] other markets further from home (and maybe less regulated) start catching wind, that’s when we risk compromises to the category. I think we are in for a fight that most people probably haven’t anticipated, trying to [enforce] more rigid regulations, especially in more global markets.

We definitely don’t see [the boom] fizzling out any time soon and, fingers crossed, we hope it doesn’t. It’s not like the vodka industry where you can just pluck a flavor off a tree and you have a new product. We’re sitting on inventory and hoping for the best.

5. What is the most exciting time of the year for you in your role, and what do you look forward to most on the bourbon calendar throughout the year?

It used to be that you had the “busy” seasons: September is always busy because of [the annual release of] Birthday Bourbon, and it’s Bourbon Heritage Month. And when the weather starts cooling down in general, you start to see more interest in aged spirits. That is just not the case anymore. It’s a year-round season that does not slow down. From my perspective, Derby season is always equally as chaotic as it is enjoyable; very media-heavy and very taxing. It‘s full-throttle but these are great problems to have.

6. Can you describe how having your signature on the 117 Series felt for yourself, and what it might mean for other women wishing to follow in your footsteps in the bourbon industry?

It’s still surreal, to be honest, and I forget that my name is on the thing. It wasn’t my idea; it was brought up when we were doing label design for the series and [Old Forester president and managing director] Campbell Brown said, “It’s time to give credit where credit is due.”

I think it’s a big deal as far as normalizing [women in] an industry that was, and still is, very male-dominated. I never set out to do that; I didn’t grow up to one day to show them that girls like whiskey, too. More often than not, though, I feel resistance in the whiskey category not from being a woman, but from having a background behind the bar. You get categorized as “once a bartender, always a bartender.” Not a lot of people in roles like mine have that background, as I mentioned earlier. A lot of them either have family members that got them into the business or they have marketing degrees, which I do not. I feel more “black sheep-ish” — if I can use that term — from that sense, rather than from being a woman.

While it is surreal, I will say that when that product came out, it was very nerve-racking. It set the stage for what I’m going to do from this point forward in my career. If I didn’t get it right, it would be a constant fight against the current, trying to prove myself. If I came out of the gate with something solid that people embraced, it would be more smooth-sailing. I’m very happy that the series was well received because that gives me a lot less stress for the next expressions. I know they won’t be all home runs — and that’s OK. It started with a really good one that’s near and dear to my heart.

7. I’ve read that your preferred pour for the 117 Series is over ice to enjoy it over time. That seems to speak to your background in mixology versus pure distillation, especially as some “purists” might raise their eyebrows at that?

I’ve definitely gotten mixed feedback on that since we released the series. I could have bottled it at a higher or lower proof and I would still say, add water to it. The idea remains that when you have barrels that have such concentrated flavor to them, it’s an experience. It’s not taking a sip and then going on with your day. It’s a sit-down, share-it, and talk-about-it whiskey. The moment of whiskey is just as important as the actual liquid itself. It’s a ritual. I didn’t want to shortchange that by going ahead and skipping to the good parts. Letting people explore with it was really part of the intention.

The article From Mixologist to Master Taster, Old Forester’s Jackie Zykan Is Officially a Major Name in Bourbon appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/jackie-zykan-old-forester-bourbon/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/from-mixologist-to-master-taster-old-foresters-jackie-zykan-is-officially-a-major-name-in-bourbon

[fitpaprika-blog]

Permission to Quit

As promised in that instagram post - an explanation for why I started 21 Day Fix this morning.

If you’ve been following along, you know that I started PiYo on Wednesday, which is a 60-Day program. However, I was concerned about it from the moment I previewed it. But I don’t like to judge something without trying it first, so I still did the fundamentals workout on Wednesday and then Define Lower and Define Upper on Thursday and Friday, respectively. But Friday’s workout is when I had had enough. PiYo is not the workout for me.

What don’t I like about it? Well, for one, I’m going to be extremely transparent and share that I am a yoga snob. It’s definitely not a way I ever thought I would describe myself, but I’ve been with my husband for almost four years, which means I’ve known his mother for about three and a half years. She is fiercely dedicated to Iyengar yoga, and she passed it on to me - very unexpected. I was skeptical of yoga, period, and then Iyengar is like the elitist of yoga practices, even according to practitioners, so for me to get hooked on it was something I could not have anticipated. If it’s anything I’m not, it’s elite. Nevertheless, if I’m going to do yoga, I want it to be Iyengar, plain and simple.

I’m not sure why I thought I could ignore that for 60 days of PiYo. I think my impression of it was that it was a few steps removed from yoga, so I could pretend like it wasn’t yoga at all and, therefore, I wasn’t cheating on Iyengar. But, I mean, y’all - it’s yoga. It’s yoga with some bullshit, and that’s just how I feel! It’s nothing against Chalene or anyone who loves PiYo - because I know there are devoted followers - but I can’t get over it. It’s like it’s too much like yoga without being like yoga enough for me.

There were two other features that I didn’t like about it. I probably could have moved past my yoga snobbery, but I also struggled a lot with doing about half of each of the workouts, even modified - and those workouts are short. The entire reason I backed down from an Intermediate program (Core de Force) to a Beginner/Intermediate program was so that I would be able to do all of the moves and not feel defeated. I’m not sure why PiYo is rated as Beginner/Intermediate, but I would say it’s at the same level as Core de Force, at least. It’s definitely much lower impact, but that does not make it any more doable.

Finally, I re-learned something about myself - I like doing something active first thing in the morning. Probably my biggest complaint about PiYo is that I did not feel like I had exercised when the workout was over. Now, I know part of it is because I struggled so much with the moves, so I wasn’t working as consistently as the cast in the video. But, I mean, also, it’s active stretching. Seriously. And that is totally fine if that’s what you want, and I thought I would like that and be okay with it since I’m going to dance classes most days in the evenings, but I really did not like feeling so passive. I’m making a special effort to go to bed early and get up at the crack of dawn to work through these programs, and I want to go into work that day feeling like I have done something active and really worked my body. I want to know from the moment I turn off the TV that, no matter what else happens during the day - if I get a migraine, if my car won’t start, if I have to stay late at work, if my husband gets sick, etc. - I have Worked. Out. I don’t want to have to rely on my evening dance classes for my fitness because (1) sometimes I have to miss them, (2) I take those for fun, not necessarily fitness and (3) I’m getting up at 5:30 in the morning - I better already feel like I got in my exercise regardless of what dance class I’m doing in the evening!

So, maybe if I had been able to do all of the moves, I would have gotten that same endorphin rush that I get from the more active Beachbody programs, but without that strength and flexibility yet, PiYo just made me feel sleepy and wonder why I had gotten up so early. Again, I think this is a “me” thing and not a “PiYo” thing, but, regardless, it all means the same thing in the end - PiYo just isn’t for me.

I decided this yesterday morning, so I did a little research on what to do next. I narrowed it down to three options - 21 Day Fix, 22 Min Hard Corps and P90X3. I definitely want to stick with a program that is 30 minutes per day or less because the one thing I did like about PiYo was getting up at 5:30am instead of 5:00am like I was doing during Core de Force. But the other problem is that I already have the rest of my programs planned out for the year, so I really needed a 60 day program. Sure, 22 Min Hard Corps is 60 days - but I was already planning to do it at the end of the year. I thought it would be a good one to do during November and December when I know I’ll be super busy - I should be able to handle 22 minutes each day!

In contrast, P90X3 is too long. I am dying to get to Body Beast, which is the program I plan to start in April. I am so excited about it, and I can’t wait to do it. But I do have to wait until April because I need an adjustable weight bench, which I am hoping to get for my birthday at the end of March. I didn’t want to push it off for another 30 days to May.

That left 21 Day Fix. Well, obviously, it’s too short. But then I got to thinking - I did really enjoy Core de Force, and I’m starting to miss it already. Plus, I am very interested in doing the Deluxe Calendar and trying out the other workouts - MMA Kick Butt, Agility Power, Agility Strength, etc. So I worked it out in my calendar last night. If I do four weeks of 21 Day Fix instead of three and then another round of Core de Force, that will take me right up to the date that I was set to start Body Beast - but it means (1) I had to start today and (2) I won’t get a break. Originally, when I was set to do PiYo, I was going to have about a three or four day break between it and Body Beast. But this will mean no break between programs until August. After Body Beast, I’m going right into Insanity, and then I’ll have a three day break before starting Hammer & Chisel. Then I’ll have a four day break before starting 22 Min Hard Corps. But no breaks between January 1st and August, ya’ll. Crazy town.

So I started 21 Day Fix this morning, and I have some thoughts on it. First - at least I can do it. I mean, I couldn’t do the Surrenders in today’s workout (Total Body Cardio Fix), even the modified one, but otherwise I could do most of the moves without modification, which is really what I wanted from a program this time around. Sometimes I just need to feel like I’m good at something to stay motivated. Second, it was definitely challenging. The moves didn’t look that hard when I previewed this workout yesterday, but since you’re doing each one for a full minute, you definitely get your heart rate up and feel the challenge. Third, I’m not too crazy about Autumn - is she a robot? - but I am very familiar with video instructors and can easily ignore them to complete a workout. And, finally, fourth - this is definitely a Jillian Michaels rip off. I HAD TO SAY IT. I did Jillian Michaels videos for so long. I still have them because of how much I loved doing them. And this is Jillian Michaels from top to bottom, except that Autumn is not quite as mean - yet (Jillian is nicer, too, in her older videos). This last point is not really a pro or a con. I like Jillian Michaels workouts, so it doesn’t bother me that 21 Day Fix resembles them, but, on the other hand, this program is Beachbody’s bestseller, and I want to be like, “Y’ALL CAN BUY A JILLIAN VIDEO FOR $10 AT TARGET.” I’ve been debating whether or not to post something I wrote ranting about Beachbody - still undecided - but this is a prime of example of what I don’t like about it. They ask so much money from people, and people just buy into it, but you really don’t have to shell out Beachbody money to get those results. Just a hypocritical PSA from me to you since I did give Beachbody money.

So, anyway, that’s the plan going forward and my opinion of this program so far. I’ll keep posting on instagram, like I do, about this, dance classes, food and other stuff - and we’ll see where 21 Day Fix takes me! But I’m definitely looking forward to going back to Joel and Jericho in a few weeks. Although I already have everything planned out, I could see myself going back for a round of Core de Force in between programs this year. The thing is, plans change, opinions change, life changes - you have to give yourself permission to change. I titled this post “Permission to Quit” but I didn’t really quit, right? I mean, I quit PiYo, but I picked up something else right away. Plus, I looked at it as I chose to stop doing PiYo because I had learned something about myself, as opposed to I quit PiYo. But even if you want to call me a quitter - that’s fine. I gave myself permission to quit that program because I didn’t like it, but I did not give myself permission to quit on my goals. As soon as I decided that program wasn’t right for me, I picked up another and started it - no biggie.

Give yourself permission to do what’s right for yourself.

[fitnesswomenshealth-blog]

For First Time, 3 Paralyzed Patients Have Taken Steps With The Help of A Spinal Cord Implant

New Post has been published on https://cialiscom.org/for-first-time-3-paralyzed-patients-have-taken-steps-with-the-help-of-a-spinal-cord-implant.html

For First Time, 3 Paralyzed Patients Have Taken Steps With The Help of A Spinal Cord Implant

For the initially time, a handful of men and women who are absolutely paralyzed from the waistline or chest down have been equipped to stand, take techniques and, in a person case, stroll with a walker, after acquiring a unit surgically implanted in their spines.

These units, termed epidural stimulators, have been used for several years to handle chronic agony. When the epidural stimulator is on, it provides electrical impulses to the lower spine. That stimulation, combined with an intensive rehabilitation method — in one case, 278 sessions for almost two decades — may enable sync up the brain’s intention to wander with real movement of the limbs.

So considerably, the processes haven’t labored for absolutely everyone, and they’ve only been completed two to 4 years immediately after a spinal twine injury, so it is not apparent if they can support people who’ve been paralyzed for a for a longer period period of time. And they’re not with out threat — one particular person broke a hip from just attempting to stroll on a treadmill.

But they do present hope, Claudia Angeli, assistant professor with the Kentucky Spinal Cord Harm Exploration Centre at the College of Louisville, told BuzzFeed News.

“These folks, soon after their injuries, are always told there is no probability for restoration. Now we are displaying that the spinal twine has that capability to restore perform,” Angeli mentioned. “We do not have all the answers and we are not saying to have all the solutions, but we are extremely hopeful.”

Angeli and her colleagues, including Susan J. Harkema, uncovered on Monday the final results of 4 people who had the spinal implant. Two of them regained the ability to choose methods and two did not, in accordance to their review in the New England Journal of Medication.

In a second report released on Monday in Mother nature Medication, researchers at the University of California Los Angeles and the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, described that a 29-yr-aged gentleman who experienced the epidural stimulator implanted was in a position to choose steps with support.

In 2014, the University of Louisville workforce reported in the journal Brain that four guys who experienced the implant ended up capable to stand and flex their toes, and showed enhanced bladder, bowel, and sexual operate. Also in 2014, there was a claimed situation of a man regaining the potential to just take techniques right after cells from inside of his nose were implanted in his backbone.

The most breathtaking recovery presented in the new reports was that of 23-year-previous Kelly Thomas of Citrus County, Florida, who acquired the implant final year at the College of Louisville. Thomas can now switch on the implant and walk all over her house employing a walker.

“It’s a brain-system connection. If I really do not consciously feel about stepping I really don’t phase, it can be just that basic and simple,” she advised BuzzFeed News. “The stimulator doesn’t get the job done for you, if that helps make perception, you have to determine out how to do the job it. It’s certainly a connection but I have figured it out,” she explained. “I’ve cracked the code.”

As soon as a soccer participant, daily runner, equestrian, and rodeo competitor, Thomas had a motor vehicle incident in 2014 that remaining her paralyzed from the upper body down. Nonetheless, she did have some feeling in her decrease physique, which isn’t the case in all spinal harm people. She experienced the implant in September and participated in 81 rehabilitation classes more than 15 weeks. She worked on sitting down, standing, and getting measures in periods for fours hrs a working day, 5 times a week, and for a handful of hours on the weekend.

“I really do not want individuals to feel you just turn it on and you are great to go — that is not the scenario. It can take several hours and hours and hours of dedication,” she stated. “it’s not for the faint of heart … there are times you just want to cry and quit.”

The epidural stimulator in her spine is managed by a unit implanted in her abdomen. Thomas can place a magnet on her abdomen and find diverse systems this kind of as standing, walking, or managing the trunk of her human body. Despite the fact that not anyone can sense when the implant is on, Thomas suggests she feels a buzzing sensation.

“I have this steady like excitement which is likely on in my human body when the stimulator is on,” she explained. “If I have my telephone in my pocket on vibrate I will not sense it due to the fact I am presently experience that vibration.”

Jeff Marquis, a 35-12 months-outdated from Louisville, Kentucky, was paralyzed in 2011 right after a mountain bicycle incident. Soon after 278 sessions about about two years, Marquis was equipped to choose actions employing horizontal poles held by trainers, or when keeping palms with a person on just about every aspect. He is not able to get measures with a walker, having said that, because of balance problems.

Marquis’s injury was additional critical than Thomas’s, mentioned Angeli. “When the stimulation is off he has no use of his fingers, and his trunk manage is a lot additional difficult,” she said. “Can he progress to a walker? We really don’t know.”

Both of those Marquis and Thomas had some reduced-system feeling just after their mishaps, which might have assisted them regain stepping skill.

But even the two patients in the study who did not take methods showed some improvement, Angeli explained. They had been in a position to sit up and stand when the implant was on, and they could intentionally move their toes in action-like motions.

“There is nevertheless a very long way to go for us to understand additional about how this is developing and likely improving the know-how to make it simpler to translate this to the clinic,” she explained.

In the 2nd review, scientists from UCLA and the Mayo Clinic claimed on a 29-calendar year-aged patient who could not come to feel or move his reduce limbs immediately after a snowmobile incident in 2013. He entered the medical demo in 2016, and following 113 rehabilitation visits to the Mayo Clinic, he took 331 ways and walked 16 minutes with help. He was ready to choose ways with a front-wheeled walker, with occasional support from trainers. For protection reasons, the patient now only normally takes ways with the help from the group.

In a press meeting, the Mayo Clinic workforce claimed that no a single definitely is aware why the spinal stimulation is operating. The implant doesn’t appear to trigger nerves to regrow.

A single idea is that there could possibly be some residual fibers remaining in the backbone in some people.

“We speculate that that is…1 of the probable mechanism of their restoration,” claimed Kristin Zhao, director of Mayo Clinic’s Assistive and Restorative Technologies Laboratory.

The Mayo Clinic group has carried out the same method to an additional client, but have not however introduced those outcomes.

Even without having steps, the epidural stimulators seem to have other added benefits, including an advancement in bowel, bladder, and sexual functionality.

Thomas stated she has found an elevated potential to sweat (which is a trouble for spinal cord injuries people), and significantly less nerve discomfort in her foot. She can also cough now.

“Before, if I got some thing stuck in my throat, a person would have to support me,” she stated. “But now, just since of the stimulator, my core energy has increased,” she stated.

Angeli stated she ideas to examine if the epidural stimulator enhances heart purpose, like blood stress handle, and if it can assist individuals who have been paralyzed for a more time period of time.

One particular drawback of the treatment will probable be charge. The people (or their insurance companies) did not have to pay for their surgical treatment and rehabilitation because they had been section of an Fda-permitted scientific demo. Having said that, Angeli estimates that the price, including the surgery and rehabilitation, could possibly be all around fifty percent a million bucks.

Epidural stimulators are built by various corporations such as Medtronic, which supplied the machines for the NEJM review but did not in any other case provide money or input.

“Now is an critical day for the tens of millions of people today living with paralysis who had been explained to that restoration following spinal wire injuries was impossible,” according to the Christopher & Dana Reeve Basis, which provided funding for both of those research.

“This also falls on the eve of Christopher Reeve’s birthday, which is just a content coincidence,” a spokesperson mentioned. “It’s a large day for Reeve and the neighborhood we provide.”

Source hyperlink

[sentrava]

In 2017: Highlights from the Year

At the end of every calendar year, I think the following 12 months can’t get any better, and yet they always manage to exceed expectations. Well, except for 2016; that will forever be the year that nearly did me in.

Still, 2017 started off with very little on the calendar by way of work and wound up being our most fulfilling and lucrative year ever. For 2018, we already have a solid dozen projects booked, so I can’t wait to see what this year holds!

Work

This was the first full year that SVV and I worked together full time. To clarify, he always served as my manager of sorts—well, at least from the time I started monetizing this blog about three years after its 2007 inception—but he also always had a “day job.” I was getting to the point where I was making enough between magazine writing, content projects, photography and blogging that I could pay someone a healthy salary, so it just made sense that someone was him. We also had a paid intern this summer (who we would love to bring back next!) and a VA. This year, we’re toying with the idea of bringing in more part-time subcontractors on to fill some holes.

It’s worked out better than we could ever imagine, too; having extra help has allowed me to expand my roster of anchor clients—we also have a micro-agency specializing in consulting, strategy, copywriting and other such tasks for the corporate world—and also really upped my blog partnerships.

Speaking of which, we had SO many fun content collaborations last year and I’m truly thankful to get to work with every single one of them. Among them: Google Fiber; Visit Franklin; Tru by Hilton; Oklahoma City; St. George, Utah; American Refractive Surgery Council (for LASIK); Fairmont Hotels; Visit Florida; Zappos; Mars Petcare; Grand Ole Opry; Wrangler; Blount Partnership; Savannah; Twin Creeks, Tennessee; New Orleans. I started a monthly highlights series this past year to share more about my work and track both hits and misses.

On the editorial side, I’m starting to scale back on my magazine writing for myriad reasons (mostly time and a decline in rates), but still managed to write for National Geographic, PEOPLE, Conde Nast Traveler, Travel + Leisure, Marriott Traveler, AAA Living and AFAR.

Travel

I estimated that I spent more than 200 nights in hotel rooms, friends’ houses and Airbnbs this year. Dang, that’s a lot! In 2018, I really hope to spend more time in the home we’ve worked so hard to rehab.

The year started off in Washington state with our beloved NVR Guys, then quickly followed with a trip to Grenada, an island nation I absolutely fell in love with and one that you should consider putting on your radar right away.

Next, in February, it was off to Florida for my birthday at Universal Orlando Resort.

It would actually be my first of two Florida jaunts in less than a month, as I headed back in early March when my BFF Lemon and I road-tripped from Georgia to South Carolina for a wedding, then down to Jacksonville, where I got to see my girls Angie and Jade (and team up with Visit Florida on a content project!).

April saw us taking visitors around Middle Tennessee before hopping a plane to Boston for a Fairmont project, then taking the train to NYC.  We also drove back to Charleston to attend the wedding of my college suitemate, as well as up to Myrtle Beach for her bachelorette weekend.

From there, we headed to Savannah, where we kicked off the month of May with a content project. That month, I also went to Utah to play in Zion National Park, then back to Orlando for the opening of Volcano Bay.

June had me sticking close(r) to home: First, to the Smokies for work, then to Knoxville for a wedding, then back to Middle Tennessee for CMT Awards and Bonnaroo. Then, I went to Knoxville again (this time for work), followed by a yoga retreat at Loretta Lynn’s Ranch.

In July, I was mostly homebound. SVV went to visit his family in California for 10 days, while I tended to the pup (and my cousin’s kids). We did bop on down to the Florida Keys for five days mid-month, but then came home in time to throw my blog an epic 10-year-old birthday party.

August was jam-packed, beginning with five days in New Orleans, then I flew to meet SVV in NYC for a wedding, then we were home for a few days before heading out to Oklahoma City for the first time. One of the biggest surprises of the year was just how much we became obsessed with OKC; it’s such a dynamic, friendly and fun place to explore!

In September, we went to Sweden—one of only two international trips we took this year—and it made me fall in love with Scandinavia all over again. When we got back to Tennessee, it was festival season in Nashville: Music City Food & Wine and then Pilgrimage the following weekend.

October took us all over the state of Tennessee—literally, we hit every major city (Nashville, Memphis, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Clarksville) and several small guys in between—for our big whiskey trail project and also to Georgia (for a Hilton campaign), where we got to see Team Mayhem and Team Vagabond3.

We thought our final work trip would fall in November so headed to South Walton on an actual vacation for four nights en route to Orlando for my final project with Universal for its holiday experience. On the way back, we decided to swing through Crystal River for the night BECAUSE MANATEES. I will definitely be going back to the Florida Springs in the future, as that was just too cool.

I thought that was it for 2017, but then! Travel Mindset called and wanted to send us to another awesome Fairmont Hotel for a project at the beginning of December, this time for a Christmas campaign with their D.C. property, to which I said: count us in!

The year ended with our annual Colorado jaunt, this time a week in Breckenridge courtesy of my mom. What a way to close out a fulfilling year!

Health

I started off the year by running like mad—and completed the harrowing Jack Daniel’s Oak Barrel Half Marathon in April—and then just … stopped. Or rather, my travels picked up and I had no time to train. That’s going to change this year (as soon as it’s not 8 degrees here in Tennessee!) as I’m slated to run the Fargo half-marathon in May with Lemon.

Around the time my travels became crazy, my trainer had knee surgery and then came down with pneumonia so she was out of commission for quite a few months. This means, my weight-lifting this past year really went downhill; I’m hoping to change that starting now and get back on a weekly routine with her. Being a former college athlete, I don’t really need someone to train me, but I have no gym buddies where I live, and having an accountability partner is so clutch (plus, I just really enjoy hanging out with her, too!).

SVV got his own paddleboard (copycat!), so we were able to SUP together many of the warmer weekends we were home in summer and fall. Ella, in particular, was thrilled with this arrangement!

One thing that didn’t suffer, though, was my AcroYoga classes, which I take one day a week, then jam with friends on another. Acro is truly my fitness love—so fun! such a good team-building activity—and a damn good core workout at that.

Family

Dad is doing much better, 23 months post-stroke. Speech is still hard, but we’re seeing him get more and more words back as the months progress. He also finished his first book since the stroke (a John Lescroart novel) while on our trip. He’ll never fully recover to the point he was pre-stroke as the clot was too big by the time they got into his brain to operate, but he’ll have a comfortable (and hopefully, happy!) life.

Of course, the BIG news for the year was that my sister is pregnant! Charlotte Rose Clarey is joining our nutty clan sometime in March, and I couldn’t be more stoked to have another niece—and one just down the road at that (my two other darling nieces live some 2,500 miles away in California).

Friends

2017 was a year for friend hangs, and I love that so many projects took me to see so many of my besties! Lemon and I got to see each other a handful of times—in Georgia, South Carolina, Florida, South Carolina again, Tennessee and NYC—and Jade and I almost managed to get back on our every-other-month visitation schedule.

I saw the Mayhems several times, in both Georgia and in Tennessee. And I stayed with Angie Away at her new house in JAX; Angie, Alex and I took a trip to New Orleans together; and Alex also spent nearly two weeks in Tennessee with me for Bonnaroo, during which her lovely mother and her fiancé also joined us. It was a packed house, as another three friends from Tennessee stayed with us, in addition to an extra canine body. The best way to spend Bonnaroo, in my mind!

Of course, there’s my Nashville squad, too, and I squeeze in as many happy hours and dinners with them when I’m home and their schedules allow. I also run a media networking group that just hit four years, so I know that at least once a month I’ll get face time with that crew.

House

We continue to plug along at our house (mostly SVV), but to be honest, we’ve had so many other projects that have taken precedence, including a house he’s fixing up for my parents that’s in bad shape and the new commercial property we just bought in our backyard. So many house projects, so little time!

This past year, we did manage to finish our master bathroom (which the TODAY Show then featured!), stock up on some awesome MCM furniture, finish our fence all the way around (the only missing part is the electronic gate), build a kick-ass garden (again, all SVV) and add a few new pieces to the inside (like a custom-built island and table).

Biggest Wins

This post on why you can’t pick my brain went viral.

My guide to Savannah was my best-performing travel post of the year.

I still can’t believe I’ve been blogging for 10.5 years; I shared some lessons on this crazy journey.

I finally put together the Nashville murals post I’d been working on for years, which prompted this Google Fiber partnership.

I teamed up with Kristin Sweeting to plan a Portugal retreat for creatives next summer (there’s still time to book!).

I started a SEP at the tail-end of 2016 and have contributed to it three times thus far (as a freelancer, no one’s got my back when it comes to retirement!).

Biggest Headaches

The never-ending fight with Expedia that resulted in my family losing $10,000.

SVV bonking his noggin and having to get stitches while in Charleston.

A major destination’s PR firm stole dozens of my images, played dumb when we called them out on it, and while we are still contemplating a small-claims suit our court system makes it fairly easy for a shady company to rip off freelancers like us.

2017 by the Numbers

Blog posts written: 102

Countries visited: 3

States visited: 12

Flights taken: 33

Trips to Florida: 6

Weddings attended: 5

Books read: 14 (pathetic! I blame the news and social media)

What were your major highlights of the past 12 months? And what would you love to see more of from C&C in the coming year?

For past year-end reviews, see my recaps here: 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009 and 2008.

In 2017: Highlights from the Year published first on http://ift.tt/2gOZF1v

[chicitym-blog]

NFL Week 5

This Sunday was week 5 and the first day that I really missed watching the NFL. I have a friend that I worked with in sports radio who's from Dallas. He text me 5 minutes before the game reminding me that he would hate me for the next 3 hours, but then we could go back to normal. For over 10 years we have trash talked throughout the entire Dallas/Green Bay game.  Football has kept our long distance friendship alive.  I had completely forgotten to tell him that I was boycotting. Didn’t even know who the Packers were playing since I’ve taken them off my Google calendar.  Anthony is a ridiculous person who says the most obscene/inappropriate things when we're watching football together while he’s in Dallas and I’m in Chicago. I love him for making me feel like I am part of the game regardless of my gender. After my text of “I’m boycotting and angry”, I sent him the first piece that I wrote in August (I mailed it to Rodgers, Matthews and Nelson before the season started). He said he was happy that I was boycotting Kaep not having a job instead of boycotting because the players were protesting. It's as if he had forgotten who I was...

Tony and I lived in DC together in 2005. We had no idea who the other one was when both took jobs at XM Radio producing for the MLB channel. Anthony arrived a few months after I did - MLB on XM decided to “add” a Spanish speaking channel at the last minute and the rest of us were already in place. When he arrived I had already had a place to stay, and he was still looking. I told him, of course, he could move in with me while he was looking. He was in noisy couch sleeper.  His sister still thinks that we were “together,” but we weren’t.  

I have relationships like this with over 20 people in life.  Allen, also from XM, is a huge Bolts fan.  It’s his 50th birthday this year, and I’m flying out to DC to see him next week.  We usually spend the entire Sunday at the bar or now that we’re seasoned on his couch in the basement watching games.  We won’t.  Aaron and Purvis are guys who love the Packers, and we’re usually texting throughout the season about games.  Katie is a Twitter friend who’s a huge Packers fan.  It helps that she hates the Cubs.  We’ve even met up at a White Sox game to hang out together.  I sent her my piece, and she said that she agrees but she is not ready to give up her love yet.  The Saints onsie I bought for Julie and Susan’s new baby won’t be worn while we hang out on a Sunday and watch games together.  Julie gets why I’m not watching and posted the blog on her Facebook page.  My brother loves his Colts, and each week when he texts me an update I tell him that I want him to boycott and he hems and haws.  

This week I was at a book reading and signing by a brilliant Chicago poet, Eve L. Ewing, at the University of Chicago when Tony’s text popped up on my watch.  I felt like someone punched me in the stomach.  It’s a loss I haven’t really felt before that moment.  I thought that I mourned not watching the NFL over the summer.  I cried enough about it.  I’m sure that part of it is that my husband has been working during the games so I don’t really get to share football with him like I did in the past.  I loved the readings of Eve’s new book, Electric Arches, and the guest speakers she brought along.  It was a different and exciting setting for me.  

I missed my interactions with Tony to my core.

Sunday night I had a dream that I was in the stands at a high school football game with my mother’s family - the family that has forsaken my brother and me since we chose to live with my father, also the family that taught us how to love football.  They were lecturing my brother and me while we were sitting in the stands, and I couldn’t recall the specifics.  My brother can always tune people out just like the characters in Peanuts and was rolling his eyes.  I take things to heart.  I had a huge box of colored pencils with me, one with four different rows on top of each other.  I was trying to load them back in the box.  One row was horizontal, the other was vertical, then that changed again,but they wouldn’t fit.  I realized that I would be sitting here listening to the lecturing until that box was full and I finally just crammed them all in without regard to order or keeping the box intact and carried the rest in my hand when I walked down the bleachers grabbing my brother.

I feel this way about the NFL.  I know that all the pieces can fit.  I can see a world where the players I revere who put their actual lives on the line have guaranteed contracts.  I believe that the NFL could funnel money to high schools (and colleges, God knows the colleges with football programs don’t need the assistance) to teach financial literacy to all of America’s youth in advance for the small percentage of those students who later will grow up to make the League.  I expect the NFL to take a stronger stance on head injuries to children and responsibility to train all of the coaches in the US on how to protect our children better during sports.  I imagine a league with 70% black owners and coaches (maybe even some girls) to reflect the players’ demographic.  I want the organizations that I support to use their voices to lift everyone up to the same level. This would make the League stronger.  It would be an awesome, productive marketing tool to ensure that young fans grow up loving, playing, and supporting football.

I try to write to every player/protester each week thanking them.  I have 9 written this week so far. I bought a Bruce Maxwell shirt jersey and a #imwithkap tee.  I try not to be pissed at you for not having their backs in these protests.  But I’m angry.  I’m fuming that the coach/GM/president or whoever hoodwinked the entire team to lock arms.  This isn’t about unity.  This is about division.  And the people we, white folk, should be locking arms with are the ones who knelt first.  This leader and his friends (including the owners and maybe your team president) have changed this narrative to focus on the military.  Our flag does not represent our military.  It’s for all of us. But it’s just polyester. Cloth is not more important that lives.  And unity isn’t what we’re striving for here.  

We should be searching for a way where people are having hard conversations about the beliefs that they hold.  Then we should be adamant in telling people who think that people of color, gay folk, transgendered people, women are less or bad that their thinking isa wrong.  A silent protest was doing that until we let the owners turn this into about respecting troops.  These are two different conversations.  

Please don’t let them get away with changing the message of this protest into something else.  Black lives also matter.  Police should not be judge, jury and executioners.  You have the power to change this narrative.  I would love for you to make a statement about how racism is ALL our fight and kneel besides the players that you love and think of as brothers.

[hacash]

Rules: Complete the questions and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you’re finished, tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!

Tagged by my darling @paintedimaginings

1. Are you named after someone? Nope

2. When was the last time you cried? I welled up at ‘Proud of Your Boy’ in the Aladdin musical which I saw as a birthday treat on Saturday with my parents. And again at ‘A Whole New World’. Shut up; it was poignant.

3. Do you like your handwriting? God no; it’s the illiterate scrawl of a drunken ten year old. Not even artistic scrawl either, just big and messy and nonsense.

4. What is your favorite lunch meal? I will always be a sucker for those properly-done sandwiches from fancy-ass sandwich shops that try to cram in as many different ingredients as is humanly possible. And soup, just because.

5. Do you have kids? I have an amputated succulent called Neville; does that count?

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I like to think as another person I’d be kind to the hopelessly inept, so hopefully.

7. Do you use sarcasm? No-oo

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes

9. Would you bungee jump? I have bungee jumped! Or rather I bungee-fell; because no-one tells you how when they tie your ankles together you have to waddle to the edge, and you don’t so much dive as just buckle at the knees and fall at about a thousand miles per hour.

10. What is your favorite kind of cereal? I try and do the healthy fruit ‘n fibre thing; but frosties or cocoa pops...anything that rots your teeth to the core.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? I forget that’s a thing you’re supposed to do...

12. Do you think you’re a strong person? 

Emotionally yes: I’ve had a really rough couple of years but no longer make myself throw up (unless drunk or feeling sick; but those are legitimate reasons right?) or imagine stepping out in front of trucks just because, so that’s progress. Physically, probably; I have a godawful physique but enough general mass I could probably sweep some maiden off their feet if they’re smaller than me.

13. What’s your favourite icecream?

cookiedoughcookiedoughcookiedough

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Whether they’re taller than me. I’ve been the tallest girl in the class since I was four; it’s gotten to a point of pride with me. (And I will never love a man who isn’t taller than me when I’m wearing heels). 

15. What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? Oh God; I’m going to go with everything from the eyes down. (except my ankles, I have very neatly turned ankles.) 

16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? (I assume this was written by an american and therefore we’re talking trousers? anyway I’m wearing a dress so meh) Purply-maroon (they used to be red and then the washing machine died them into a very sexy dark maroon) and black shoes.

17. What are you listening to right now? Bobby Darin

18. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purply-blue

19. Favorite smell? Old books, freshly cut grass, fireworks going off, my mum’s roast dinners, teatree oil, the sea, the entire inside of l’occitan

20. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My mum to hear the news I’m now an auntie as my cousin’s just had his baby boy!

21. Favorite sport to watch? Rugby! Or the olympic gymnastics.

22. Hair color? Browny-red, depending on whether we’re talking natural or dyed.

23. Eye color? Blue-grey.

24. Do you wear contacts? Nope, although I’ve been putting off eye tests for months now.

25. Favorite food to eat? How dare you make me choose between my children. :P there’s so many, but my mum’s sunday roasts are probably the pinnacle.

26. Scary movies or comedy? Comedy; I get bored with horrors.

27. Last movie you watched? Beauty and the Beast *sobs*

28. What color of shirt are you wearing? Black

29. Summer or winter? Summer

30. Hugs or kisses? I like any physical contact; but better at cuddling.

31. What book are you currently reading? All Quiet on the Western Front

32. Who do you miss right now? My grandma! She died seven years ago this month and even though it was a peaceful one I miss that we never got a chance to know each other when I had a bit more confidence and personality to myself.

33. What is on your mouse pad? A calendar of school holidays because I work in education

34. What is the last TV program you watched? Snatch *side eyes*

35. What is the best sound? Thunderstorms, the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, horses’ hooves

36. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? So much the Beatles

37. What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Australia

38. Do you have a special talent? My procrastination skills are off the charts

39. Where were you born? Bath, England

Tagging @hippity-hoppity-brigade, @why-this-kolaveri-machi, @roguishtrevelyan, @mllecomtessedelafere, @exlibrisfangirl

[apostatemages]

You want a lot of questions?! Even numbers! All of them. Because I'm horrible ?

Right, well, first off, fuck you :)

second, this is going under a read more

third, I’m leaving out the ones I know you already know/I don’t want to answer

2: Do I have any nicknames? Ninzz3: Zodiac sign? Aquarius4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? Tomb Raider Legend. I got every achievement possible in it years ago so it’s like a comforting, familiar walk for me.5: Book/series I reread? The only one I constantly reread is Memoirs of A Geisha, which I’ve read over 25 times, but I have read 1984 and the Call of Cthulhu several times as well.6: Aliens or ghosts? If I had to pick one, aliens. Because my space parents are always dicks to me and the other ones figured out how to paralyse me7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? I don’t have one of those because I’m not a huge reader in the conventional sense and most of my favourite authors are dead.10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? Awesome or nice11: Favourite song? Right now it’s Darkwave Surfer or Innsmouth, both by Aural Vampire12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? What books and movies they like. It’s always a good yardstick 14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? Yes. I could never stay angry at you for long15: Last song I listened to? Right now I’m listening to Burning For You - Blue Oyster Cult. Before that it was Jane - Jefferson Starship16: TV show I always recommend? It depends very much on what the other person is asking for, but in a more general sense? Buffy, AHS, Xena, Parks and Rec, Breaking Bad, Brooklyn 99. I’m not a huge TV watcher, I never saw any of those on TV when they were on, only on tape, DVD or streaming services. 18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down? Girl Interrupted, Memoirs of A Geisha, Star Wars, Practical Magic, The Matrix. These always bring me out of a bad mood19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? My alarm is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones21: What am I most afraid of? Onryo34: Someone I always think about? You!35: Am I excited about anything? My moon phase tattoos, which I’m getting in just over a week37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Buffy has been a firm favourite for as long as I can remember. All my favourite kids shows were like... Mona the Vampire and Arthur, 38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? No, not really. I’m weird about men39: Am I superstitious? Yes41: Do I have any strange phobias? I wouldn’t say any of mine are strange. Irrational, perhaps, but not strange.42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? I love taking photographs of people, but I rarely get the chance. To be in front of the camera it would have to be a stranger paying me to do it, or someone I trust very much.44: Last book I read? Right now I’m reading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. One of my best friend’s brother recommended it to me.45: Last film I watched? In Her Shoes50: How do I destress? If I’m really stressed out I’ll just pull a fanon hux and fuck myself until I pass out. I’m too boneless and sated to care about anything else51: Do I like confrontation? A sick little part of me does take pleasure in it when it’s someone I don’t really like54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? On because I see things in the dark and it scares me55: Play any sports? No, but I enjoy swimming and gymnastics.59: Afraid of heights? As much as any sensible person is.61: What was the last concert I went to see? I’ve never been to one, not as such. I saw a live performance when I was a kid by some singer that committed suicide a few years after. 62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? No. But I could probably be vegetarian if I needed to be?63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? I wanted to be a vet.64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? Not as such, but I’ve had friendships turn so toxic that I’ve had to end them.70: Can I sing? I’ve been told I can so I guess, yes. I don’t feel I’m very good though.71: Something I wish I could do? fucking anything, lol73: Have I ever skipped school? Yes. Once I went out and smoked weed with a couple friends and went back into the school, where I then held onto a sink and had an existential crisis because it wasn’t weed, it was fucking skunk!!77: What is my current desktop picture? A picture of Rey on a speeder, half naked78: Early bird or night owl? Night owl for sure79: Sunsets or sunrise? sunset80: Can I drive? Yes81: Story behind my last kiss? I was leaving for my train home, it was a goodbye kiss.82: Earphones or headphones? Headphones84: Story behind one of my scars? I have a chickenpox scar in the middle of my forehead. And one on my left middle knuckle from trying to punch someone and hitting the wall because they moved.88: What makes me really angry? People who have lots of money asking me why I can’t just, like, buy the things I want??89: Kindle or real book? Real books, I detest kindles.90: Favourite sporty activity? If walking doesn’t count, swimming or climbing. I can’t do much of either these days because CFS92: What was my favourite subject at school? Geology. I’m a dirty rock lover94: What was the last thing I bought? A case for my new phone, because my other one got broken, oops96: Can I cook? If I follow a recipe exactly I’m great, but if I don’t... It’s pretty disastrous.97: Can I bake? Same rules as cooking.103: Sexual orientation? This is a question that perplexes me too! I have figured out that I’m gay mostly because I am unable to trust men enough to even form true friendships with them without doubting their motives. They always want sex from me, most have gone to ridiculous lengths to get it from me, and when I refuse? They force their attentions on me. 106: Last time I cried? Last week. I had a breakdown when the above finally occurred to me during therapy, among other similarly unpleasant revelations107: Guilty pleasure? ???113: Favourite accents? I dunno, I like lots of different ones.114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? Maine!117: Am I religious? Yes, I am. I consider myself pagan but I’m not sure what subset I fall into.119: Do I like the deep ocean? I suppose so, It’s interesting! There are lots of strange little creatures down there that could be my friends.121: Am I allergic to anything? No, not that I know of.122: Can I curl my tongue? Yes123: Can I wiggle my ears? No126: My current project? Your birthday gift. After that I plan to start a Star Wars tarot deck.128: Do I admit when I wrong? Yes, I try to. Sometimes I’m so stubborn that I don’t realise I’m in the wrong but the moment I do I try and apologise129: Forest or beach? I love both very much. I couldn’t choose one. 130: Favourite piece of advice? ‘Stay afraid but do it anyway’131: Am I a good liar? When it suits me. Acting like a bad liar makes it all the more convincing when you need to do it for real.133: Do I talk to myself? Literally all the time, I basically respond to my own thoughts by talking.135: Do I like gossip? I despise it136: Do I keep a journal/diary? I keep several: One for mind stuff/events/feelings, one for dreams, one for sexual fantasies, one for magical information, one for ideas, and one for general information. I also keep notes on my calendar. Whenever I go on a trip I keep a journal specifically for that and save all my ticket stubs and leaflets and photographs.137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? I must have at some point but I can’t say I remember.138: Do I believe in second chances? I’m a bad for giving people extra chances when I really shouldn’t.139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? Take the money and then put it in a lost and found.140: Do I believe people are capable of change? I suppose so. At their very core, perhaps not.141: Have I ever been underweight? Yes. Quite severely - about 90lbs146: Have I ever been overweight? Never. I’ve been more muscular but that doesn’t really count. I had an extra 20lbs of muscle a few years ago.147: Do I have any piercings? I have my ears, a labret, and the left side of my nose. I had my nipples pierced for about a year149: Do I have any tattoos? Three right now, soon to be four. runes on either wrist, and script that reads ‘destiny rules’ on my left shoulder150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? To not go to college. I would certainly have killed myself by now if I had151: Do I believe in Karma? yes 152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? glasses, contacts in this house would be a very bad idea because of all the dust and fluff155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? The friend that recommended Brave New World. I’m quite intelligent but he makes me feel very, very stupid.158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yes, many times159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains, obviously. I’ve known some very beautiful people that are just horrible.160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? No single colour, actually. I have a lot of white, blue, purple/burgundy, and black. Also earthy, light tan colours.161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? I’ve had too many to list!162: What do I hate most about myself? That I’m so jealous. Especially of people with more money than me, I think about that almost every day and it makes me boil with rage.163: What do I love most about myself? That’s a very hard question to answer without seeming narcissistic. I guess I like that I’m a loyal friend, willing to deal with a whooooole lot.165: Do I believe in fate? Of course, or I wouldn’t have that destiny rules tattoo would I166: Favourite animal? Hard to say. I like snakes, spiders, dogs, cats and all sorts170: One of my favourite quotes? Just one? Awwww. ‘We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.’ - H.P Lovecraft171: Do I hold grudges? No, I don’t. Or else I would become the very thing I fear.172: Do I trust easily? No, not at all! It takes a long time for me to trust a person, if I ever do174: Best gift I’ve ever received? Hard to say. In terms of sentimental value, these: your japor snippet, Noodle and Leia, the velvet dress, Agnetha, my tattoos, the Kylo bear... those are all I can think of right now. In terms of usefulness, these: my previous phone, drawing tablet, TV, leather coat and trousers, that sort of thing.175: Do I dream? Yes, often.176: Have I ever had a night terror? Many times thought it happened more when I was a child.177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? I remember them vividly when I do, and I remember one where I missed a train. The station was underground and all steel, grey and sterile. Someone told me to run through a tunnel that reminded me of the book tunnels in Apocrypha, in that it stretched out in front of me as I ran through and in the gaps was Holly, riding a unicorn. It was very odd.179: If I were immortal, what would I do? If it meant I didn’t have to eat anymore then great! I could do anything I wanted.180: Do I like shopping? I would, if I actually had money. 181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? Murder182: What does “family” mean to me? People that love you unconditionally and are there for you when you need them185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? Sex, because then I would be able to do what I love and be boss at it186: What is my greatest failure? Boy, let me count the ways187: What is my greatest achievement? I don’t actually know. I can’t say I’ve achieved anything of note. I’ve done some cool stuff, but are they achievements? Probably not.188: Love or money? Love of money is the root of all sin, but money cannot buy love189: Love or career? Love, I couldn’t give a shit about careers194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? See you next time195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? I have done. Some, I would never choose to meet but the others I don’t mind196: A movie that scared me as a child? The Ring, thanks to that shit I have a psychological complex about onryo197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? Being spanked201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? Always the onryo, I remember every nightmare I have about them very vividly203: Do I judge a book by its cover? everybody does to some extent, right? it has to catch your eye in the first place204: Have I ever had my heart broken? I’d say so, yes. I am recovering.205: Do I like my handwriting? I guess so. It changes a lot, I never think about it206: Sweet or savoury? savoury208: Do I collect anything? I collect lots of things; bottle caps, coins, vhs tapes, etc etc209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My japor snippet and my siberian blue quartz pendant. And my various piercings. I’ve had the same earrings in for about 3 years now. 211: How do I handle anger? badly212: Was I named after anyone? Inanna, the Sumerian goddess of love, fertility, sex, and war.213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? Yeah...214: What TV character am I most like? Probably a strange mix of Andy and April from Parks and Rec215: What is the weirdest talent I have? I don’t have one, now that I think about it. I have hyperextended elbows216: Favourite fictional character? Tough one, tough one. Right now it has to be Kylo. But the most enduring would have to be Padme. I have a sticker of her on my bedroom door that I put there in 2000.