#i’ve not even gotten used to alpha tauri yet

[rb9]

so here’s the thing

i will actually still be calling them toro rosso

[formula-what]

Team Principal Crash Course

I know someone’s probably done one of these, and I’m sure they are much prettier than mine. I’m going through a divorce with PowerPoint rn

But I’ve always wanted to do one of these!!! Also I needed an excuse to not sleep / do any actual productive work

This is for @landobviously and any new people to f1, although I’m not sure this is actually very helpful

Mercedes: Toto Wolff

Team principal and CEO

low key hot, has the floofiest hair.

His name is actually Torger Christian Wolff which I love even more than Toto.

Austria business man who personally owns 30% of Mercedes stock?? He originally owned shares for Williams but has sold them all :(

I think he’s pretty much unproblematic? But I’m a Mercedes Hoe so probably biased.

He’s married to Susie Wolff who used to be a racing driver. She did DTM, Formula Renault + F3 and was also a development/test driver for Williams (becoming the second woman to ever take part in an f1 weekend, 22 years after the first) She is now the team principle of a Formula-E team, Venturi Racing which is co-founded by Leonardo DiCaprio??

RedBull : Christian Horner

This is the fucker they interview All. Of. The. Fricking. Time.

Someone will breathe and they be like “let’s go to the pit lane to get Christians thoughts on this”

But he’s pretty funny and all of the other guys tend to shy away from the cameras so I’m not that pissed about it but like, sky Sports love him.

Has donkeys named after Max and Daniel

He fell in love with Sebastian Vettel and is still low key pissed that he abandoned them. Also his daughters favourite driver is Seb

Has major beef with Cyril (Renault team principal)

Married a Spice Girl, some of the RedBull boys go with him sometimes to her concerts and they wear her merch

Okay usually I would go Ferrari next, but they’re a midfielder now so..

McLaren: Zak Brown

Gets treated like team principal but is actually CEO

American, says duuuude a lot

Used to be a professional driver and I think he was actually good?? But idk

I hated him at first but honestly he seems pretty chill?

Gives the biggest bear hugs

Andreas Seidl

Is actually Team Principal

Falls under the radar

Just kinda hangs around looking judgy all the time

When he does speak I can never understand a word he says

Renault: Cyril Abiteboul

The Frenchiest French guy to ever French

Sacked Hulk for Ocon (who’s French) although that’s completely unfair of me since Hulk has entered 179 gps and yet has never gotten a podium (which is a record by the way!!!)

Will find beef in anything, and then yell at you for it. Or give you evil eyes from across the room

Cyril fuckers do not deserve rights you know who you are

Got scammed by Daniel Ricciardo

Hates Christian Horner

Brought Alonso back??

Doesn’t deserve to have any junior drivers

Renault Lotus used to be a pretty popular engine supplier in f1 but aftee this year they will be the only ones on the grid using it. Yeah this isn’t about Cyril at all but it makes him yell which makes me laugh so

Racing Point: Lawrence Stroll

Part owner of Racing Point, and invested £182m in Aston Martin?? Hence the name change next year

Pretty sure he owns a private island, put I have zero proof

Bought the team when it’s owner went to jail for fraud and the team went into debt. But for whatever reason they couldn’t actually buy the shares so instead they just had to rename it and pretend they’re a new constructor. Midway through the season.

Daddy Stroll but NOT because of his looks. He’s just rich as fuck and promoted his kid Lance Stroll into one of the seats (who is actually a pretty good driver and doesn’t deserve any hate at all)

Otmar Szafnauer

Team Principal

Low key thought he was the one that went to jail so... yeah I know nothing about this guy

apparently he is litterally in the Hall Of Fame

Ferrari: Mattia Binotto

Fun fact, he actually used to run a circus I’m kidding.

he runs one now though

Looks like an older and more permanently confused Chal Lelerc

Last year was his first season as a team principal and boy can you tell

Is the parent that says he doesn’t have favourites but then always takes the youngest’s side and thinks that they’re an angel child that can never do anything wrong

Alpha Tauri: Franz Tost

Looks so soft

I know nothing about him, but I’m pretty sure he’s in love with Seb

Ummm I don’t think he’s problematic? But it’s red bull so who knows

Has the exact same vibes as beans and sausages on toast and I will not expand on that it’s probably because of the name tbh

Haas: Guenther Steiner

Is the 🤬 emoji personified, every second word that comes out of his mouth is a swear

“We look like a bunch of fucking wankers”

I’m not exaggerating when I say I’m scared of him

Literally the most terrifying man alive

Will yell ALL THE TIME about literally ANYTHING

Keeps putting KMag and Romain together even though they spend more time crashing into each other than actually racing?? And yet is equally surprised everytime???

“We’ve got two fucking idiots driving for us” and have done for FOUR YEARS. Haas have only been a team for five years, and they’ve only ever had one other driver

But I love them both

Fell for whatever the fuck Rich Energy was

Alfa Romeo: Frédéric Vasseur

Team Principal and CEO

I’ve never seen this man in my life

Used to be team Principle of Renault???2016-2017??? Whaaaa????

Williams: Sir Frank Williams

Founder and team principal

Old as fuck

a big name in motor sport

Used to be a long distance runner, now has a wheel chair because he got into a car accident on the way to a fun run :(

Literally built Williams from the ground up (and they used to be very good I swear)

Claire Williams

Deputy team Principal (but actually does all of the stuff)

the only important woman

Doesn’t deserve any of the hate she gets (and she gets a lot)

She’s trying her best okay

The ‘this is fine’ meme personified