#i'm at work and still upset about this what the f u c k your honor

[funny-fella-fantrolls]

🗣 - Vex + Ofu

A knock can be heard at the door of Vextri's room, a familiar pattern telling him exactly who's there. He speaks, beckoning his friend in.

"C[]me []n ][n, []fu."

The door swings open gently, Ofuuno entering the room. He sees the bronzeblood hunched over his workbench, working on one of his guns. His eyes have dark bags under them, and the bronze patch on his face combined with the small wet patch on the bench suggests he may have slept there, but not long enough.

"Vex, you need to eat."

Ofuuno's tone is gentle, and filled with concern, a stark contrast to the stubborn, flat tone he receives in return.

"N[]. ][ need t[] f][n][sh th][s."

As the limeblood hears this, his tone shifts, sounding angry, but the concern is still audible despite that.

"You've been working on that for hours. {ome and eat, or I swear I'm going to drag your tired ass down those stairs and for{efeed you like a wriggler."

"]['ll eat when ]['m d[]ne. ][ a][n't st[]pp][n' 't][l ][ get th][s w[]rk][n'."

Ofuuno, hearing how stubborn his friend is being, starts getting genuinely upset with his friend.

"You said that three hours ago, and you still aren't fu{king done! Your little pet proje{t {an wait!"

"N[] ][t can't! G[]g, []fu, y[]u just d[]n't fuck][n' get ][t, d[] y[]u? ][ have t[] get th][s d[]ne!"

"No, Vextri, you're the one who doesn't fu{king get it! I know you think this is important, but your health {omes first!"

It begins to feel as if the temperature in the room is increasing as the two argue.

"[]fu, y[]u kn[]w why ][ have t[] d[] th][s! ][ need t[] be ready!"

Ofuuno takes a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"Gog, Vex, just shut the fu{k up and listen to me! When are you going to get it through your head that this won't bring her ba{k!"

Vextri boils over at this, Ofu having crossed a line they have never breached before.

"D[]n't y[]u fuck][n' dare br][ng her ][nt[] th][s!"

"Look, Vex, I don't want to, but you won't listen otherwise. Look me in the eyes and tell me. What would she think if she saw you like this?"

"][ have to d[] th][s! ][ wasn't ready bef[]re, and ][ l[]st the m[]st ][mp[]rtant pers[]n ][n my wh[]le l][fe because []f ][t!"

"We've been over this, Vex. You {ouldn't have done anything. So just fu{king {ome with me already."

"N[]! Y[]u d[]n't kn[]w h[]w ][t feels t[] stand by wh][le s[]me[]ne y[]u l[]ve ][s taken fr[]m y[]u! Y[]u've never had t[] s][t and watch s[]me[]ne y[]u care ab[]ut hurt][n' r][ght ][n fr[]nt []f y[]u! ][ can't l[]se any[]ne else ][ care ab[]ut, and th][s ][s the []nly way t[] make sure ][ d[]n't!"

Ofu begins to get angry again, raising his voice at his friend-slash-hivemate.

"I don't want to lose anyone I {are about either, Vex! Why do you think I'm so fu{king adamant about you {oming to eat? You're hurting yourself, and I've just been stu{k waiting for you to finish this fu{king proje{t! Do you think that feels good for me, Vex? Wat{hing my best friend slowly kill himself to try and save someone sweeps too late? How do you think that makes me feel?"

Vextri calms down slightly, Ofuuno's words reaching him.

"]['m s[]rry, []fu, ][ d][dn't th][nk-"

Ofu cuts him off, his emotions getting too much for him in this moment.

"No, you didn't! You were too busy wallowing in self-pity to think about anyone! I know you still feel bad, I know you still haven't fully moved on, but that doesn't give you an ex{use to ignore your own health, to hurt people around you by making them wat{h your fu{king {rusade of self-destru{tion!"

"[]fu, l][sten-"

"No, Vex, you fu{king listen! I don't want to sit here and wat{h as you waste away {hasing ghosts! You {an do your little proje{ts, but don't put them before your own gog-damn health! We've both lost people, and sure my situation was different, but I still know how it feels! So don't you dare tell me I don't know how it feels to lose someone I love, be{ause it feels like that's happening right now!"

Ofu suddenly realises what he said, and his eyes go wide, covering his mouth with his hands.

"Wa][t, []fu, y[]u-"

The limeblood doesn't stick around to hear what Vextri says next, bolting out of the room and locking himself in his own room.

A few minutes later, Vextri goes downstairs and makes himself a sandwich, before heading back upstairs to keep working.

[junrandot]

what's more rancid about figure skating other than the i*u tearing the sport they govern to pieces. and you can't say the i*u tearing the sport they govern to pieces because it's already a given. as previously stated: the i*u IS tearing the sport they govern to pieces.

[flower-slut004]

SOFT ABC BENNY

A - Affection (how do they show affection)

Benny ADORES PDA. He always has to have his hands on you somehow. He loves wrapping his arms around your waist and his chin on your head ( if you’re shorter than him) And if you’re taller than Benny, he’ll just stand on his toes to rest his head on your shoulder.

B - Balance (how do they balance you, work/school/life?)

You’re apart of the supernatural life so you two practically spend every moment with each other. In school and out of school, people can always fine the two of you in each other’s arm. When you guys are spending time apart it’s usually when Benny is with Ethan and you’re with the girls/Rory.

C - Cuddles (do they enjoy cuddling? what positions?)

Like earlier, Benny loves PDA. He especially loves it after a long day fighting monsters, he’ll come up to wrapping his arms around your shoulder and lightly put his body weight on you in a joking manner. That’s your cue to know the boy wants his cuddles. Bennys favorite positions when cuddling is either having your head resting on his chest with your arms around his waist or having his head on your lap so you could play with his hair.

D - Date (what was your first date?)

Benny would overthink everything for your first date. He wanted to make everything just perfect for you. So he enlisted the help of your best friend ( if you want Sarah/Erica/Rory/Or Ethan to be your best friend just ignore the best friend part). Your date would be in his backyard. It would consist of a picnic along with his own outdoor movie theater.

E - Excited (how excited do they get when they see you/are with you?)

Benny gets super excited when he sees you at school in the morning, he’ll drop everything to go greet you with a kiss and a pickup line. / Benny is more in awe of you dating him. He couldn’t believe you said yes when he asked you the first time.

F - Fighting (what happens when you fight)

I feel like with Bennys flirty behavior that would be the cause of most of your fights. Benny knows when you're upset when you disappear out of nowhere. Like you’re nowhere to be seen since you’re avoiding him. Benny has to track you down or pay Rory.

G - Gorgeous (pet names. what do they like to call you? what do they like to be called?)

Benny is definitely more creative for your nicknames “Sweetness, cherry, hot stuff, delicious". Anything to see you blush/ You call Benny names just to tease him by "Benny Boo, Benny Rabbit, Chipmunk, and Sweet Pea"

H - Hi (first time meeting)

The two of you met when you were asked to babysit in place of Sarah when she was "sick". You were making Jane a sandwich and having a debate over Dusk when the bell rang. Ethan was nowhere to be seen so you went to open the door. "Hey, Eth...Woah babe alert.. I mean hey! I'm Benny"

I - Intimacy (how romantic they are)

Benny loves getting you things, like flowers, teddy bears, chocolates. Bonus for him since he can practice his magic. he’s also gotten you necklaces and rings. Since you guys are still in high school he usually makes them homemade or gets a summer job.

J - Jealousy (do they get jealous? how do they react to you being jealous)

Look up the definition of jealously and Benny's photo will be there. Benny isn't jealous of Ethan but he is of Rory since Rory is just as flirty as Benny. Benny tries to hide his jealousy but fails to do so. / When you're jealous, Benny doesn't know if he thinks it's cute or hot. You don't hide your jealously. You'll go right up to Benny and make a snide comment to whoever is grabbing the attention of Benny.

K - Kisses (where do they like to kiss you/how often?)

If you're shorter than Benny, he'll give you forehead kisses, a peck on the nose, or a smooch on the cheek. If you're taller than him, he likes to give you small neck kisses, press on your hand, or just a plain kiss on the lips. Benny likes to kiss you every moment he can.

L - Love (when was the first time they said i love you or realized it?)

Benny realizes it after he almost dies after Jesse's comeback and was holding him by the neck. You were crying silently as you hid in a locker. The only thing running through his mind was you. he wanted to live the rest of his life with you, he wanted to have kids with you, that’s the only thing he could think of. thankfully, Sarah saved the day and you jumped right into his arms, crying into his chest. he whispers that he loves you over and over again.

M - Moving in (when do you decide to move in together)

You guys are teenagers let's remember that, you guys definitely talked about it though. The closest you guys got to living together was when your parents were out of town and went to stay with Benny. After college, you guys finally moved in though, rented an apartment together.

N - Newborn (their reaction to starting a family)

(If you don't kids skip over this one). Benny was super excited when he found the news. He spun you around the room and couldn't stop kissing you. Benny was already coming up with star-wars-themed names for your kid. He used this as an opportunity to practice his magic just in case your child would inherit his powers/ he used them to baby-proof the apartment.

O - Open (how open you are with one another)

Benny is an open book with you. Sometimes he shares a little too much but you don't mind. You guys have this time of the day where you go under any tree you can find and spill your feelings.

P - Photos (what kind of photos you take of them/they take of you)

Benny is a bit paranoid taking photos since the whole evil Benny situation. But before Benny would take pictures of you where you weren't paying attention, smiling at him or intimate photos of course with your consent. / You love taking photos of Benny when he's sleeping or giving you a smooch.

Q - Quirks (what random habits do you have that they love or hate/vice versa)

You have a problem with being careless, most of the time you jump into situations without thinking it which upsets him. Benny loves your quirk of randomly knowing things/ Benny tends to forget things that make date nights difficult which leads to some fights. You love Benny's quirk of puffing up his cheeks when he's in thought.

R - Recovery (how you help them after an injury/vice versa)

Benny freaks out every time but tries to hide it. (not very well ) and does everything in his power to make you comfortable./ If Benny gets injured, you’re his nurse which he’ll take advantage of in his own ways.

S - Solution (how they resolve fights)

the group usually has to get you two back together after a fight. you take a break from one another, and it’s awkward for the group. Until one of you misses the other and comes back with food/promises.

T- Touch (when they need/want your touch, what will they do? how often?)

Benny wants your touch all the time. He’s big fan of PDA and always has a hand on you or around you. Usually Benny will come up and gently grab your hand to plant a kiss but if you remove your hand before he gets the chance to, he’ll rest his chin on your head/shoulder and wait.

U- Waking Up With Them

waking up with Benny is the best. he has his arms around you every single time, he somehow manages to pull you into his arms in his sleep when you go to sleep on separate sides of the bed. if you’re still asleep, he just presses kisses to your forehead, trying to wake up a bit more before getting up and starting the day. if you’re up before him, you absolutely love playing with his messy hair and stroking his cheek.

V - Vacation (where they travel with you)

Weeks after planning and planning, you and Benny finally take a trip to ( your dream location). Benny wants to visit every corner with you as well as getting a souvenir.

W - Wedding (how they propose/where you get married/honeymoon)

Benny is a nervous wreck when he prepares to ask you. Looking around, stuttering, and tripping. You were beginning to think you were being followed and Benny didn’t want to scare you. You finally asked him what’s up and he grabbed your hands gently to pour his heart out. Benny was scared when no response came out of your mouth but a few minutes later you were covering his face in kisses and saying yes over and over again. You really didn’t have a BIG wedding but it was all your family and friends there.

X - X-factor (what about you captivated them?)

Benny loves your bluntness. He likes it how you tell everyone the truth and you’re not sorry about it.

Y - Yawning (how they act when they’re tired)

Benny tries to hide when he’s tired so he’ll be over exaggerating his emotions but when he’s tired to the point where he can’t hide it he’ll be less clingy and kinda shut off from the group. You can tell he’s tired when he begins to mumble or just stops talking overall.

Z - Zzzz (how you fall asleep together)

Benny doesn’t care about space. he wants to be as close to you as possible, breathing in your scent and feeling your warmth.

[just-a-little-cellist]

Levi Ackerman - NSFW Alphabet

A/N: i'm bored so i'm just writing these nsfw headcanons for all my comfort characters, don't judge me. feel free to request - i posted request rules so go check it out :)

enjoy! nsfw under the cut :P

A - Aftercare (what are they like after sex)

The first time you have sex, Levi needs a lot of comfort. He'd never been that vulnerable with someone before and it took a lot for him to open up like that, so aftercare for him is the priority. Once sex becomes more frequent and he gets used to everything, he's the one to clean you both up but he still needs more emotional reassurance than he'll admit.

B - Body part (fav body part of themselves/their partner)

He isn't a vain person, so he'd probably say his arms just because of how much you love them. He wasn't too fussed at first but because of all the attention you give them he's started growing fonder of them.

His favourite part of you is your neck and collarbones. He didn't even realize he had a thing for that until he met you, and whenever you wear chokers he can't take his eyes off you.

C - Cum (where do they prefer to cum?)

Levi prefers to cum on your stomach, purely because it makes it easier to clean up. (He's always very mindful of any mess.)

D - Dirty secret (self-explanatory)

It obviously couldn't happen because of his status, but it sends a shiver of arousal through him whenever he imagines you humiliating him in public. It's something he wants to try in private, though he's nervous to talk about it with you.

E - Experience (how experienced are they?)

Levi is a virgin, since he doesn't have sex with people he doesn't genuinely, 100% trust. You'll have to guide him through everything at the beginning, however he's a quick learner and picks it up pretty fast.

F - Favourite position (goes without saying)

He likes missionary a lot because it lets him feel close to you, and he'll melt if you wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. He also gets shy sometimes, so this position is perfect to hide his face in your neck.

G - Goofy (are they goofy or serious in the moment?)

Other than the odd sarcastic comment, he's generally serious. If he's in a vulnerable position then joking around doesn't calm his nerves at all.

H - Hair (opinions on grooming etc.)

Levi keeps his own hair neatly trimmed. He'd prefer if you keep yours vaguely under control but, as long as it's clean, it's up to you how you keep it.

I - Intimacy (how intimate are they during sex?)

It takes him a while to fully open up to you, but sex becomes one of the most intimate moments you ever share with Levi where he truly breaks down all his walls for you, just the two of you.

J - Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't tend to masturbate unless he's really desperate. Something about it just makes him uncomfortable, but he also has urges sometimes when you aren't available.

K - Kinks (again, pretty self-explanatory)

When you first started sleeping together, Levi had more of the control because he thought that was the way it was 'supposed' to be. However once you brought up the idea of him being submissive, your dynamic shifted. He was extremely hesitant at the beginning because he wasn't used to being in such a powerless position, though as soon as you managed to get him into a submissive headspace it became a regular occurrence.

Levi is a sub at heart who needs a soft dom more than anything. Some of the kinks you've explored that he likes are bondage, light impact play, praise, orgasm denial and marking (as long as the marks are hidden during the day.)

He also definitely has a bit of a humiliation kink but he's still working up the courage to tell you.

L - Location (favourite place to do the deed)

His favourite place is a tie between the shower and his desk. Sometimes when he's had a long day and doesn't want a full scene, he likes to have sex in the shower (also it makes clean-up easier). Although if he feels like subbing, as long as the door is locked, one of his favourite things is for you to cockwarm him while he's trying to work.

M - Motivation (what gets them going)

Showing skin is a sure-fire way to get him riled up. I personally headcanon Levi as demisexual, so he doesn't care when other people show skin, but if it's you? All you have to do is leave a couple buttons undone, expose your chest a little, and he is done for. Also, slipping casual praise into conversations will sometimes start pushing him into a submissive headspace, especially if you've done a lot of scenes with him recently because he starts responding to that tone of voice.

N - No (something they'd never do)

He doesn't like intense pain play - he's had enough pain the rest of his life so he needs you to be gentle with him. He also wouldn't want a harsh or strict dom, preferring to have you take care of him instead.

O - Oral (preference in giving, receiving etc.)

He enjoys both equally. Before you'd had sex you wanted to ease him into the experience carefully, so you gave him his first blowjob and he almost sobbed from the stimulation. Buuuuuuut alongside that he would also happily spend hours between yours legs - the praise you give him as he pleasures you and the feeling of you clenching around his tongue is almost enough to make him finish without any physical touch.

P - Pace (are they fast, slow, quick, rough?)

If it's just against the wall in the shower then it tends to be a bit faster, and on the odd occasion Levi feels more dominant he can get rougher, but he is usually perfectly content to let you decide the pace entirely.

Q - Quickie (opinion on quickies)

They're good sometimes, especially when you're both very busy with other duties. They're good to relieve basic urges, but Levi would never choose them over a full scene.

R - Risk (how open are they to risk?)

Levi is open to a bit of experimentation, but never anything exhibitionist. He can't risk the possibility of someone catching him in a compromising position, considering his importance in the military, so he insists that you keep all bedroom activities private.

S - Stamina (how long can they go for?)

As expected, at the start Levi had pretty low stamina since it was all so new and overwhelming. It gotten a little better since then but he also has a fairly quick recovery time to make up for it.

T - Toys (opinion on using toys etc.)

He doesn't particularly enjoy using toys on you, but adores when you use toys on him.

U - Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

He'll only tease you a little when he's in a dominant mood and you've been doing something to piss him off, but the rest of the time it's not something he does at all. (He kind of likes when you tease him though.)

V - Volume (are they loud or quiet?)

Levi is cautious to control his volume so that other people don't hear, but his whimpers of pleasure can get quite loud sometimes.

W - Wild card (random headcanon)

During a scene once, while he was deep into subspace, he accidently called you mommy. When he realized what he said he was mortified, and almost started dropping. You had to quickly assure him that it was perfectly alright, that you weren't upset with him, and that you don't mind it if he wants to keep calling you that. He only uses that name for you when he's really, really submissive, and it's adorable hearing the tiny whimpers of "P-please mommy..."

X - X-ray (what's going on... down there?)

So many people seem to think that this man has a monster cock. He is 5'3 there is no way. He's a little smaller than average, in length and girth, but that just means you can hear him whine when you take his whole length into your mouth.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is low most of the time. He has so many other things he has to focus on everyday, so sex doesn't cross his mind that much. Sex is more of a stress relief that he doesn't think too much about until it happens.

Z - Zzzzz... (how quickly do they fall asleep after?)

Being an insomniac, Levi takes a while to settle down to sleep, although it's always a little easier when he's comfortably next to you. (definitely the little spoon)

[mydekuacademia]

HELLO!!!!! How are you? Congrats for the 150(2) followers!!! You really deserve it 🤗❤️

Ok so...can I have A,B,C,P,U, and Y for Todoroki? Please and thank you!! (Also if that's to much, I'm sorry about that. Just cancel some of them ok?) Have a nice day!!!

Thank you so much!!!

This is also for the other anon that requested Shouto's alphabet. Hope y'all enjoy :)

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

At first, hes not too familiar with the concept of aftercare. He'll do whatever you ask, but he wont really initiate it until hes more familiar with what needs to be done after sex

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner)

On him: his arms. He loves well you fit into them

On you: thiiigghhsss babyyyy. He could spend hours buried between them. Skinny, thick, muscular, he doesnt care. He also loves marking them up

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)

Not to hop on the quirk train, but the temp of his cum depends on the type of sex hes having and what mood hes in. Slow, sensual sex: slightly warmer. Quickies or rough sex: slightly cooler

He wants to cum on your thighs or stomach. Hes not a big fan of cumming inside because hes terrified of knocking you up (if you can get pregnant)

D: Dirty Secret

He kind of likes choking, but it makes him feel like endeavor so odds are, hes never going to choke you

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Hes not experienced whatsoever. He had comprehensive sex ed tho (endeavor wants grandchildren), so he knows what the fuck hes doing. If he doesnt know something, hes not shy about asking or looking it up

F: Favorite Position

Anything where he can see your face. Missionary, mating press, cowgirl, etc. He also likes holding you up with your legs around his waist (hes strong, so dont worry about getting dropped)

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

The longer youre in the relationship, the goofier he gets. At first, hes dead serious. Absolutely no joking. After some time tho, he might slip in a little joke or tickle you a bit if he feels like its getting too serious. All in all though, hes pretty serious

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

No half and half pubes, sorry. Hes kinda salt and pepper, red and white mixed

Hes not trimmed or anything at first. It doesn't bother him, so why would he? After your first couple times getting intimate, he starts to trim

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

So intimate, holy shit. He just loves you so much and wants to use this opportunity to really show you since he isnt great with his words. Sex with him is full of slow, gentle caresses and soft kisses. Even when he gets rough, he still makes sure you know how much he loves you

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Once every couple weeks, maybe. Less often if you have sex in that time. Its not a huge thing to him honestly

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)

This goes without saying, but temperature play for sure. Only gentle heat and cold, never anything that could hurt you

Sensory deprivation - it gives him such a rush that you trust him enough to let him do as he pleases to you without you knowing what's gonna happen next

As i said before, choking. But hes not gonna do that unless he grows a lot

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

If its not a quickie, he almost always wants to use the bed. More comfortable and more space to work with

For quickies, just about damn anywhere yall wont get caught. Closets, bathrooms, empty conference rooms, you name it.

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When you do something that makes him remember how much he loves you (standing up for him, making him dinner, just existing sometimes) or when hes really frustrated and needs some release (like fromman encounter with endeavor or a failed mission or something)

N: NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No permanent marks, no pain play, no age play

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He is the king of giving oral. He knows the perfect combination of tongue and fingers to have you seeing stars. He'll be buried between your thighs, squeezing and caressing them, and absolutely going to town on you. He doesnt even care if he doesnt get off, this is enough for him

He also appreciates a blow job if hes particularly frustrated or upset. He likes being taken care of sometimes

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Generally, hes right in between. If hes feeling particularly soft, he goes slow and sensual. If hes frustrated or during a quickie, hes 100% fast and rough

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Hes absolutely down for quickies. Probably a third of the sex you two have is made up of quickies

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)  

Hes pretty open to experimentation as long as it isnt one of his turn-offs. Just be aware that if he isnt feeling it, hes cutting it off right away.

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

My god, he has so much stamina it should be illegal. If you let him, he'll go all damn night and maybe another round when you wake up. However, he doesnt usually do that since he knows that much overstimulation can be painful

T: Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He has a vibrator to use on you and a couple silk scarves for your wrists/ankles and to be used as a blindfold, but thats about it. Anything else he might use is made up of random stuff he has. Your underwear can be a gag, his belt can be a handcuff, etc

U: Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He will tease you until you start really whining, but not a ton honestly. He uses teasing to get you in the mood oftentimes. A hand just a tad too low on your back in public, or way too many kisses and hickies on your thighs before getting to the good part

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not loud, but certainly not quiet. He has no qualms about letting out low moans and choked groans, but he loves hearing your sweet sounds too much to drown you out

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

He secretly loves having visible hickies. He doesnt mind the comments and speculation, and it makes him feel like theres always a part of you with him

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Icyhot is fucking hung. Not big enough to really hurt, but defs bigger than average. And its pretty too. One vein running along the bottom, circumcised, tip flushed pink. Perfect.

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not terribly high - hes a pro, he has more to worry about than sex. He can go a good while without sex, but hes absolutely going to make up for lost time

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He oftentimes doesnt fall asleep after sex. He takes his time cleaning you up and giving the best aftercare (after he learns what that entails) then he might turn on a movie and just chill with you. The only time he falls asleep soon after sex is when he goes more than 4 or so rounds

[limenysnocket]

In The Dirt... Pt. IV

Summary: Why did you leave... where did you go? I miss you. Fuck, I miss you... f u c k.

Warnings: Cursing, alcohol abuse, drug abuse (no real smut in this one sorryyy)

A/N: F U C K I T. I need to finish this series because I don't like having open stories on my pallet that need to be finished. GAWD. Short one for the gals.

○●□○●□○●■○●■○

After many years of destroying the senses, you really stop noticing or awknowledging fear. It just dims out eventually, and no one likes that one Debby downer. So, you just stop. Just like that, with a snap of your fingers. It just... disappears.

You know, I thought I had lost that sense of fear forever. I thought it disappeared, like everyone else's. That all was until I woke up this morning to find the sheets cold except for the spots I had been laying.

Did my fear suddenly return from the dead to replace you? Where did you go?

Why the hell am I worrying?

You probably just went home.

But you're usually here when I wake up? You wait for me, don't you?

Maybe you were just outside of my bedroom door, hanging with the rest of the band.

That seemed more plausible to me.

I get myself together (somewhat fine). It's still not the same without having you politely knock on the door and ask for entry while I'm dressing.

Music is already seeping through the cracks of the walls, since the rest of the band probably had woken up by now (or just didn't sleep the night before). I can feel the bass beneath my feet, sending pleasant shivers down my spine, but the pleasure isn't enough to get you off of my mind.

I feel like I slowly melt into the living room as my door opens, slinking across the floor like some malformed blob until I'm at an angle where I can survey the entire room.

You're not here.

One of the heavy stoners of the group finally notices me after peering through the glossy haze of his high, just for a moment.

"Shit, man, what's got you all squirrelly this morning?" he muses, lifting a plain cigarette up to his mouth and taking a long drag.

I can feel every inch of my body tense up and I shove my hands into my pockets, lips pursed. I sigh and shake my head. "Nothing."

He goes back to whatever he was doing, rambling on to one of the (also stoned) groupies that joined us this morning, while I have another look around. My mates cast me odd looks, but I toss them aside. I must have really been looking awful if those looks started to worsen (which I know they did).

"I heard the hotel door slamming shut last night..." one of them mused, "anyone anger their chick or some shit?" The group that gathered along the kitchenette chuckled softly and shook their heads.

"What 'bout you, Waititi? You piss another one off?" Someone spoke up to me. They knew now. They knew I had done something.

Luckily, I had my back turned to the group in my desperate and frantic search, so they didn't see the pained look creep over my face. "I don't know," I say slowly, not bothering to turn around. They all seem to shrug my answer off. I can't, however.

What did I do last night to really get you gone? Was it something I said? Did I not please you enough? Did you finally decide that the rock 'n' roll life just wasn't your thing, decide not to tell me, and up and leave me dry with no hope left to survive?

I'm being dramatic.

I slip a pair of slippers on and shuffle down to the main floor after awkwardly standing next to a polite family on the elevator. It was obvious they could smell the cigarette smoke on me.

Fuck, it's way too early in the morning to be doing this.

I leap for the front desk before anyone else could take the undivided attention away from me. A young receptionist had just sat herself down with a steaming cup of coffee.

"Did you see a girl come through here last night?" I mumble to her. She looks up at me, nowhere near as excited as you are when I talk to you.

"Sir, I just clocked in. I'm afraid the person you need to be talking to is already on his way out to his car," she says, nose raised up in the air snootily. My looks and manner clearly didn't seem to charm her (or maybe it's the fact that I'm in a fucking stained Purple Rain shirt and sweatpants).

The fact that maybe my last hope may possibly be in the parking lot excites me, so I don't think I could care any less about the way people look at me. My perhaps wobbly legs float me out to the street and I'm searching frantically for any trace of you or this man I'm supposed to find.

There, where the sidewalk ends, there's a man, bellboy cap in hand, waving and shouting for a cab driver's attention.

I slow my speed down to a brisk walk to approach him and not alarm him, but the glimmer of a hovering, yellow taxi catches my eye as it slows down and pulls next to the curb. All of a sudden I'm running. I'm running for you. Fuck, when was the last time that I actually ran?

Sure, it was a bad move grabbing the dude's arm when I reached him. He moved to swat me, yelling in a high voice, "The fuck, dude! This cab is mine!" His hand was about to come down, when I made the first sensible decision in my life and let go of him.

"Wait!" I hollered before we made any more contact. "You worked the front desk last night, right? I'm looking for a girl."

He gives me the most startled look ever, gripping the door of the taxi for fear life. He then recognizes me. "Your Taika Waititi, right? You and your band infested the hotel a couple days ago?"

I nod slowly, gulping and hoping he had some sort of information.

He sighs, looking at the warm seat of the cab, then back at me. He mutters something under his breath. "I did see a girl," he lets out. "But I don't know if she's any person your looking for. There's a lot of women that come and go from y'alls rooms, I tell you." And he shakes his head.

"What did she look like?" I pry at him more, and he cab impatiently honks its horn. He draws another long sigh.

"She..." he trails off, "look, there was one girl that passed by. She was wearing a Hunt For The Wilderpeople shirt, and that's all I can tell you."

"But was she upset?" I shout, just trying to get down to the point.

I receive another glare.

"Look mister," he said, one foot in the cab, "she didn't pay me no mind and I certainly didn't care about her enough to ask her what was wrong. Now, if you'll excuse me." He huffed, and that was the last I saw of him as he disappeared into the cave of the cab.

My heart seemed to quiver as I watched the cab go. I was getting stares from girls and guys alike across the street. A crowd was soon building. I had been standing on the curb for minutes, watching and waiting. As if the cab would suddenly turn around, open its doors and I'd see you inside, but no. Not in the slightest.

I return to the hotel room, tail between my legs, and head down. I should call. I want to know if you're alright. What did I do, my little groupie? What did I...

No.

No, that's not right. I said groupie. But... I also said my... meaning...

I return back to my room and sit on the frigid bed. I think of you with no trace of a smile left on my face. I want you here. I want to see you. I want to fuck this feeling out of me through you. An outlet. Is that all I see you as? But, what do you see me as?

I pick up my phone and search for your number. It's mixed up and I never miss it. I have a little nickname for you too, but I never use I when you're around. My thumb hovers over the call button for a moment. I don't know why I hesitate. After a big, deep breath, I press it. The vibration of it makes my ears ring. My heart is racing. Why do I het so riled up trying to talk to you? It's just you...

And yet you're you!

...

I don't know how to explain it. You're my groupie... my... groupie...

Fuck.

There's no response. There's not even the faintest sound of your voice. All I get is a computer.

I call again and again and again.

The dial tone makes my head spin. I call your home phone, hell, I was even two inches away from calling your parents. But then a text message. A single text message.

'Leave me alone.'

My heart seems to stop. I did something wrong. But I can't figure out what.

Why?

Why are you all of a sudden ignoring me? Why won't you tell me that you're safe? Is it something that I did? What's wrong?

I interpret my thoughts onto my phone in a text message and send it out without a momen'ts hesitation.

'What did I do wrong?'

You read it.

But you never respond...

~~~~~

17 calls and a single text message. You can't even deal with him. It's like he doesn't even remember how much being just his groupie shatters you.

You've asked for something more so many times. So many gut wrenching feelings as he tells you all over again, "I'm not looking for anything serious. You're just a groupie."

You've finally snapped. You're done. You can't keep getting your heart broken again. Not again.

[migleefulmoments]

I'm a psych major - i seriously believe that the CC fandom is a cult - the hate they send is cult like mentality, they have something seriously wrong with them. Like mentally. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them got arrested for harassment of C or D or their partners.

Come off anon and chat with me...there is a lot to unpack and I won’t do it publicly.  

There is definite some mental health issues for in that fandom. I too keep wondering how far they will push it.  If not them, will some follower of theirs do something stupid because they are emboldened by the rhetoric that the ccc leaders spew? 

Whether the anons are real or the leaders of the ccc are sending anons to themselves-or it’s a combination of both- is unclear to me, what I do know is that the answers they are giving are consistently and purposefully misleading and often outright lies. 

Two recent examples of their outrageous lies; 

1. ANON::

“...have u seen naya say on the podcast that C was actually upset about santana's rant to kurt in that episode... because it was so real? it really makes u think that there was for sure one writer thay really did have it out for chris...

ajw720 answered:

That rant was 100% directed at C and it was divined by RM.  He is raging with jealousy towards C, he has everything, looks, talent, creativity, and D.  And things completely feel apart when RM realized C was genuine competition.  You realize Blainofsky was punishment to CC for acting out that past summer? He literally broke up the fan favorite couple on the show during the last season for revenge. And he despises C in particular. And that rant was not aimed at K/urt. It was aimed at C.  And I am glad N/aya commented on it, I can’t imagine how she felt being used on that manner.

FACT CHECK: 

Had she spent 2 minutes Googling this she would have realized that fact Brad Falchuk-not Ryan Murphy- wrote Jagged Little Tapestry thus invalidating her entire theory.

Everything she said about Ryan Murphy in this paragraph is simply her fantasy. Ryan is a very successful and powerful Hollywood writer, producer, and director. He is also gay and married with young children and Is a powerful LGBQT advocate.  His youngest son waged a 2-year battle with Neuroblastoma from 2016-2018. Neuroblastoma is a vicious form of childhood cancer that requires intense treatment. I used to be an pediatric oncology/bone marrow transplant nurse and this cancer and treatment is no joke. 

Ryan Murphy is very creative- he created and wrote episodes of Glee, 911, and  Nip/Tuck, AHS, ACS, and the upcoming The Politician. Check out his IMDB (X).  

He has won numerous awards and nurtured a lot of queer content including Pose which hired both LGBTQ actors and staff making it highly unlikely that he would closet a gay actor. 

She suggested Ryan is jealous of Chris because of his “looks” and  his relationship with Darren. There is nothing to suggest that Ryan is unhappy in his married, his attracted to much younger or is attracted to Chris and/ Darren.  Ryan called his husband, “His rock” in 2018 when talking about their son’s illness.  

Abby ignores  Ryan’s real life story, instead because it doesn’t fit her fanfiction character profile she created for Ryan.     

2. ANON: 

“....is it a known fact to the whole fandom that f/etusm/iarren is M/ia ?” (X)

chrisdarebashfulsmiles answered:

Hi, you know, i think (my opinion) that m/iarrens are ignoring purposely this fact. Like.. they have seen everything happening or showed here and decided to say “hey, you know? i don’t care”. Like they do with everything that is not part of the “D is straight” tale.

Let’s say that most of us have an idea about who the minions are (if they exists and i think i can tell you that maybe one is a real person)… but it’s irrelevant. 

The account still exists because, and believe me i don’t know how this is possible, the stans who follow that account are more “m/ia stans” (the ones that bother us on our blogs and in blogs dedicated to hate and mock us) than “D stans.  Let me tell you one thing: i speak with a good bunch of “m/iarren” that are D stans and we are on the same page, we worry for D. No talk of bullshit with them. Most of them understood that something wasn’t ok and they left their fandom, without becoming part of the cc one. Others are still here but more subtle and still respectful.

And I see why: because they want to understand what is wrong.

Anyway: D’s team gives her stuff, and this is one of the problem.

FACT CHECK:

In truth, there are very few “Mia stans” and a lot of “Darren stans”.  The CCCers refuse to listen to what their anons actually say. Instead they pigeon-hole people into categories based on their own needs and they need us to be unreasonable and obsessed with Mia rather than Darren for their self-righteous antics to work.   

Nobody that I am aware of is purposefully ignoring credible evidence that Darren is gay. None of us are looking at the “evidence “ and saying “hey, we don’t care”.  The fact is that very few people care if Darren is gay or straight and the “evidence” is nonsense. I have yet to year one thing that sounds credible. Anyone else? 

I did a very rudimentary look her claim that “The account still exists because, and believe me i don’t know how this is possible, the stans who follow that account are more “m/ia stans” than “D Stans”.  I sampled 280 Fetu/sMiarr/en followers: 

The vast majority were private accounts aka we cannot say why they are interested in the account.

4 or 0.1% called themselves Mi/arrens

10 or 3.5% listed Kl/aine or Gle/e in their profile

15 or 5.3% listen Darre/n or posted photos of him alone

1 or 0.03% was a Guns ‘N Hoses page DING DING DING we found the Mia Stan.   

Darren’s team gives her stuff? What exactly would Darren’s team need to give her? She is his wife. She goes everywhere with him. they own a home and bar together. 

Chrisdarebashfulsmiles had a rare moment of honestly when she said “Believe me I don’t know how this is possible”.  The truth is. it isn’t possible. it’s all made up.

Abby stuck her nose in to the conversation with this wisdom: 

ajw720

And a lot of the stans who refuse to accept it, need M because she is the only thing that makes d straight. And they know as soon as they start to question, they have to face reality

Um, no Abs, Mia is not the only thing that makes Darren straight. 

Darren is straight because he is a man who is sexually attracted to women....the very definition of “straight”.  

Darren has identified as straight for 9 years. 

Your confusion around his sexual orientation is simply your refusal to respect his word because you believe you know more than he does about his own feelings-however that isn’t a valid argument.    

His marriage to Mia is a personal decision to build a life with the woman he loves and has been in a relationship with for 9 years or so.

Let’s look at Darren’s own words over the years:  

2011 'Glee' Star Darren Criss Comes Out—As A Straight Guy!(X)

"I think it's more empowering to everybody, including myself, if I'm articulate about identifying myself as a straight male playing a gay character," the actor says in the Hollywood issue of Out magazine. "Ultimately, that's more powerful for both communities."

When Criss first got the role of Blaine, he admits that he wanted to deflect questions about his sexual orientation, giving reporters answers like, "It doesn't matter if I'm gay or straight." But he decided that it was better if he was just honest and straightforward. Besides, he explains, he owes a huge part of his identity to gay role models. 

2011 “Glee Star Darren Criss Dishes on Kissing Lea Michele & Losing Out To Cory Monteith (X)

I’ve been pretty overt about the fact that I am straight,” Darren told Billy and Kit. “I think it’s an important thing to be explicit about — not for my own sexuality, but just as a general statement that I am comfortable with my sexuality and very comfortable with the fact that I’m playing a strong gay character.”

I’ve been pretty overt about the fact that I am straight,” Darren told Billy and Kit. “I think it’s an important thing to be explicit about — not for my own sexuality, but just as a general statement that I am comfortable with my sexuality and very comfortable with the fact that I’m playing a strong gay character.”

2013 Cosmo Guy” Darren Criss On Glee’s New Chapter   (X)

Q: You're not gay; you just play gay on TV. Do you ever feel the need to assert your heterosexuality?

A: No. I know who I am. I feel bad for guys who have to flex their muscles. But hey, if that's the way to make yourself feel comfortable as a man—as long as it isn't antagonizing anybody—go for it. I'm okay with your getting a Miata to feel like a dude; just don't be a dick about it.

Darren Criss Will No Longer Play Gay Characters (X)

Darren Criss has decided that he will no longer play gay characters. Why? Because he doesn’t want to be a straight actor taking potential roles from actors who actually identify as gay, he said in a recent interview with Bustle.

“There are certain [queer] roles that I’ll see that are just wonderful,” he explained. “But I want to make sure I won’t be another straight boy taking a gay man’s role.”

2018 Darren Criss on Playing Serial Killer Andrew Cunanan in ACS: Versace and Passing as White  (X)

You’ve also played a lot of gay and queer characters. Has playing these parts informed how you think about your sexuality or gender? That’s a great question. God, we need like an hour. Sure, yes. Absolutely. It definitely has. I think being queer in general evokes more self-questioning than somebody who’s cisgender straight, because you really have to explore a lot of things about yourself that are meeting resistance on conventional social levels. So you have to go, “Okay, cool. Is this really how I feel?” There are questions that arise within yourself that doesn’t have to happen if you live in a hetero-normative universe. So in that sense, I think the journey of questioning oneself, which everybody does anyway — and should do— I admire that narrative. Even though I am not gay myself, or queer, I am a storyteller, and I love and appreciate the strength of character it takes for someone to get through that, whether it was difficult or not. I’ve been very blessed in my career with being allowed in the gay community. Again, as a cisgendered straight dude, that’s not lost on me. I don’t take that for granted. It’s been such a huge part of my life, even pre-Glee. I come from San Francisco doing theater, man. Like, I was raised by gay men. Not literally at home, but you know, as a young kid doing theater, my friends were these men and women in their 20s, driving me home and getting me dinner. These were my adult figures in my life, so unconsciously I’ve always had such affection for the life, whatever that means. So I guess inhabiting a gay voice is important to me because it’s a voice that I find inspiring. 

These are just two of the many lies the cc fandom tell their followers in order to manipulate them into believing the fantasies that means much to them.  

[kmp78]

TO ALL YOU READERS OUT THERE.

As we all know, on Dec 17 aka tomorrow new über-sensitive rules on tumblr kick in, which means all content their bots/algoritms regard as "unsuitable" will be banished from the platform. 😒

Seeing as I have almost 4 years worth of posts in my archives amounting to a grand total of tens of thousands of posts overall, there is no way for me to go over all of them and remove potentially forbidden ones.

And frankly I wouldn't even know where to start, since we have not been given any concrete guidelines regarding words/pics which "might" need to be deleted, and even if I did have guidelines to work with, the task would be too huge to undertake.

I can find over 1000 posts with the search word "P * r n" and that's just a fraction of the kinds of contents I imagine might need to be removed (one by one, of course), so that gives you an idea of the scale for that task... 😶

Yeah, there's just no possibility for me to do that.

Therefore there is a very good chance that when I wake up tomorrow morning, this blog will no longer exist.

It won't be by my choice, as I don't have any desire to retire from this project, but I can't fight against the powers of the admins on this one. 😔

So, in case that happens, I just want to say a few things while I still can.

First, a MASSIVE thank you to all who have read this blog (just on/off or regularly) and especially to those who have contributed to the making of this blog via asks, submits, reblogs and private chats. Without your contributions this blog would not be what it is (in good and in bad...), and I have no doubt that without your assistance in providing content, I would have left a long time ago.

Altho, in a cruel twist of fate, many of those provided contents will no doubt now be the reason for this blog's demise... 😂🙊

But tbh I'm not even upset about it, because the amount of entertaiment and laughs we have shared over here over the past 4 years could never be measured in money or any other form of currency.

Same of course goes for the amount of tears and aggro shared here... 😝

And speaking of which: let me just give a big ol' "F U C K Y O U and I wish nothing but the absolute worst in life for you and yours and if I saw you on fire on the street I'd struggle to even piss on you to put out the flames, you useless blob of floating diarrhea" shoutout to each and every disgusting c u n t out there who I have had the misfortune of sparring with over the years.

No need to name names.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOU MOST DEFINITELY KNOW WHY I DESPISE THE LIVING SH*T OUT OF YOU.

You folks, with your pathetic fanfics and truly insane "HE'S GAIIIIIIIIII, YANNO!!!!" desperado'ing etc. and especially that one Aussie psycho and the yankee-doodle liverspotty "My BFF Aka The Old Hag Tooootes Is Ferking JL" bulldog (seriously SEEK PSYCHIATRIC HELP IMMEDIATELY), are a true waste of oxygen and pathetic testament to what a sad conglomerate of mentally challenged retards aka SFGs this fandom is.

Whatever misfortunes life tosses your way, just know you've truly deserved it. This "snow N- word" girl from "a 3rd world country across the Atlantic" has enjoyed laughing at and ridiculing/exposing your embarrassing asses here (especially those of you who turned on me for whatever reason), and will continue to do so forever. Your hilarious insanity will never be forgotten. 😙😙😙✌

No kidding, folks: your mothers FOR REALS should have spat you out.

Or maybe swallowed... 🤔 I dunno what kind of sticky-bottom slaggies your mumzies are/were so yeah maybe a good gulp would've been more her MO. 🤷🏼‍♀️

A special shoutout indeed to all those who befriended me for years and know FULL WELL what bull manure this fandom and Leto are, but still woke up one morning and decided to start hating everything about me (for reasons which are still baffling for me): you disgust me and quite honestly make me a bit sad. You USED to be sane and sensible, until the kool-aid kicked in.

Perhaps one day the magic will wear off and you'll come back to your senses again, altho for most of you I don't hold out much hope... oh well, it's not like anyone's life would be worse off without you in it. Mine certainly hasn't been! 🤣

And to all those countless fools out there who wasted their time creating fake accts with my name and pics hoping I'd quit: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

I hope at some point in life you look back on your actions and realize how insane you stalkers were to obsess (yes, obsess) over me.

Your efforts really got you nowhere... ⛔

Oh no wait I got major laughs and kicks from ridiculing you, so yeah you did get that far. 😂

You deserve to feel #proud . 🙏

If I'm worthy of THAT MUCH attention from you...

Damn, I must be quite awesome! 😎

(I am, actually. 🙃 Oh and I also like pizza, with pineapples and a slice of Leto... 🍕😂😎)

And then on the other side of the fence:

I could never fully express my gratitude and appreciation to the people who I have become friendly with over these years.

You also know who you are, and I will be reaching out to you via private chat later today! 😉

Honestly, you have been the absolute best thing about this entire experience and I'll value the times and experiences we have spent together for the rest of my life. 💓

The support I have received both publicly and especially privately from many out there (some I still have the pleasure of keeping in touch with, and some who have sadly faded into the distance) has been much appreciated and I hope you all realize it.

THIS community is leaps and bounds superior to the actual Mars one.

Thank you for the laughs, the freak-outs, the arguments, the secrets, for taking part in my competitions and puzzlers, for reading my Finland posts, for suggesting non-Mars topics, for sharing personal stories...

It has been one hell of a trip! 😂

I wish you folks nothing but the best and if this is the end, then perhaps at some point, somewhere out there, our paths shall cross again! 😉😘

My IG acct ( @kmp78 ) will remain (unless they too see it worthy of deleting...), so that's where you'll find me if all else fails! 😜

Also my secondary acct here ( @kmp78secondaryblog ) will remain UNLESS it's also taken down by the admins.

And of course my e-mail ( kmp78@yahoo.com ) also reaches me in the future, as well as my Twitter ( @kmp78obvs ).

And with that... well, there's not much else to say, I guess. The situation is what it is. 😞

Have a nice Sunday, everyone!

God willing we will meet again tomorrow. If not, then c'est la vie! 😘👋

With much ❤❤❤ (or perhaps🖕🖕🖕, depending on reader),

K