#i'm genuinely posting every thought

[sage-lights]

amangela is so shourtney coded and vice versa. just the way they interact with each other is so soft, but also, if they go more than a minute without roasting the shit out of the other, they may physically combust. and it's all in the small things too, like amanda helping angela organize cards in moose master when she had a cast or shayne organizing courtney's pieces in trivial pursuit. it's clear they love each other so much. in this essay i will—

[introspectivememories]

too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.

[uncanny-tranny]

Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first two are written in Hindi. The third title is written in Bengali*, and the fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Bengali nor Tamil there, much less any other language that's not common in Maharashtra (Western India). Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

*Note: thank you dear anon for letting me know that the third title was Bengali, twas my mistake for literally completely forgetting

[taffywabbit]

my short-term goal as a creative for a few years now has basically been to try and increase my income (or just speed up how quickly I earn the same amount, which is kinda the same thing I guess) so i can reach a point where i make enough that i don't have to constantly be pushing my time and energy to the absolute limit to pay my bills, and can start making time to start larger long-form projects and explore creative areas besides drawing. unfortunately things keep costing more money than they did the last time I looked so it feels like I am not really making much progress towards that goal. I am like a little fish trying to swim upstream and it always feels like there should probably be a smarter, less exhausting way to get where I'm going but I'm just not aware of it

[the-gene-mile]

rewatched the premier definitely super legally and just look at them

[thekagepro24]

A comically tall tree that I could see out of my window across the street had recently gotten chopped down. I'd stared at it for a couple of years now and admired its unique shape, so its absence brings about an empty feeling in me. Yet for some reason, the more and more I glance out of my window and see the blank space the tree had always preoccupied, the more and more I start to think there wasn't any tree there to begin with. Even though I have photos of the tree, even though I can physically prove it was there, my memories feel like they're being overwritten with what I see today.

I have gotten used enough to its presence to miss it, and used enough to its absence to forget it, and that contradiction baffles me.

[hecatesbroom]

every time I rewatch the Rusty Anchor bathroom scene, it becomes gayer and gayer

[devilsskettle]

i've watched a lot of good films lately in an attempt to catch up with a bunch of movies that have come out recently, but talk to me was the best movie i've seen in a LONG time

[eggs-can-draw]

Wanted to draw a bit of isolation, I need to do slice of life more often

[thresholdbb]

I never wrote about winning the cosplay contest at STSF (lol wild), but here's the prize certificate:

On the one hand, I (almost didn't enter and) didn't think I was going to win, but on the other hand, they kept talking about a cash prize. And ok, cash prizes have weird legal issues or whatever, but this certificate is bound only to the Creation merch tables, where they sell t-shirts and bags with AI art on them. I asked what I could use it for and the lady said "maybe" I could put it towards a photo op, but it also says no tickets, so that's still up in the air.

That night, Eugene Cordero was hanging out with us at the afterparty (lol hey Rutherford (!!!???) you're super chill) and someone mentioned I'd won the contest/I probably said something about my $500 worthless prize. So he signed it to make it worth "less"

ANYWAY, all this to say

If I can use it towards a photo op (doubtful), and there is a group Voyager cast shot (cause hello expensive and I am, how you say, not formally employed), I think it'd be hilarious to do Threshold mutant Tom Paris

It seems highly doubtful, but it's a thought that at least keeps me quite amused

[sophieswundergarten]

I know in traditional fairy tales people have to dramatically confess their love in order to break curses, but I think it'd be really funny if it just happened all of a sudden. No warning.

Because people aren't normally running an audible monologue of their thoughts, especially not such vulnerable ones

Also, it has SO MUCH MORE POTENTIAL as a non-romantic love thing:

The person is sitting and talking to whoever's cursed, and then suddenly they realize "Oh, you're not as much of a jerk as I initially thought" Boom. Curse broken

Two people are talking a walk, and one realizes "Oh, I want you to be in my life forever. I want to always be able to take care of you" Boom. Curse broken

One of them tells a really stupid joke, and they think "I love your laugh. I love when you're happy" Boom. Curse broken

The cursed person is sick or hurt or mildly inconvenienced (I get all squirmy during dramatic death scenes, sorry) and the other one thinks "I don't want you to be in pain" Boom. Curse broken

[pingo1387]

so why is it that when the 'covfefe' tweet came out everyone in the world immediately decided to pretend that it wasn't incredibly obvious tr*mp was trying to say 'coverage' and instead opted for a weeks-long charade of "lmao WHAT was he trying to SAY???"

[judesstfrancis]

see bc the point of single dad stories isn't "haha dads are hot" it's "oh shit he's good st unconditionally caring for people. oh fuck he's letting his daughter braid his hair and (badly) do his makeup. I wanna kiss him about it" u know what I mean?? if the kid is just There as a secondary character what's the point. I want them to be part of the story they should be a full person. they should be a very big reason why the love interest falls in love with the dad. more importantly I want the love interest and the kid to be friends. if that relationship doesn't develop alongside the romance I don't think u should get to write a single dad story

[aceofbooks-creative-anthologies]

Bear with me 🙏 I think it's actually kind of insane that canonically 1st selection takes place over the course of less than like two weeks? (Someone check my math, it has been categorically bad on this blog so far). So in the AU for the selfship, there's like a week between each set of match ups (so Team Z has a week between their game against X and Y etc.).

There's a visitor's day in the week leading up to the first matches, a visitor's day in the week between Y vs Z and W vs Z, and a third in the aftermath of the end of the 1st selection, but before they move onto the 2nd.

I go to the second visitor's day with Chigiri's parents on their request. They're worried that he might not be giving it his all and might get kicked from the program. They think I'll inspire him or something; they keep citing my new PRs at my last couple of meets (they've become quite... attached to me since he left home).

Barou's actually the first to find me. He's looking to brag about his win against team Z, and I'm not exactly looking forward to seeing Chigiri, so I entertain him. Chigiri does eventually see me, and he's instantly fuming about Barou, whom I seem bored by, but not enraged (as he might have hoped). He's petrified by the memory of the "conversation" with Barou about me crying because of him. I can feel Chigiri staring daggers into the back of my head, but the longer he refuses to come say hi, the longer I'm determined to keep listening to Barou (he's right off his loss to team Y, so he's looking to vent to someone and his entire team does sound pretty incompetent....).

It's eventually Kunigami that comes to my rescue—again. He holds off on taking me to Chigiri, the conversation about me crying also fresh in his mind, and chooses to introduce me to his younger sister instead. Team Z as a whole, Bachira in particular, makes a pretty good attempt at steering me away from Chigiri at every opportunity. It's after a heated debate with Raichi about the most displeasing foods that I find a quiet corner to myself.

I'm taking some deep breaths with my eyes closed when I sense someone sliding down the wall near me. I open my eyes to find the first phone that I've seen any player have. We don't talk to each other, but there is a purple haired boy running around asking about "Nagi" and I can feel my companion trying to dissolve into the wall behind us, muttering about just trying to get through the level. Reo does eventually find us, and I give Nagi a sympathetic look that he doesn't see as he's pulled away.

I manage to continue to avoid Chigiri until it's time for goodbyes, because his parents are my ride. His parents excitedly step away, saying that they'll wait for me in the car. We're quiet for a minute before I clear my throat and say "Good Luck" and then start to walk away. He grabs my hand and I stop, but he doesn't say anything. After another minute of silence, I pull my hand away, and he lets go quickly, as if he forgot that he was holding it. I leave without either of us saying goodbye.

I don't go to the third visitor's day.

[iiboronii]

i think that i might've posted about it before but i <3 all the little -ler blogs on here. i'm being so fr. nothing clears my skin more than seeing a -ler blog answering questions. i love you guys please keep making silly little -lers.