#i'm going to have to drown this in shitposts that was a lot of words

[thricewire]

My beliefs about the second DRDT motive (yes, I regularly do forget beliefs that were once semi-coherent and reconstruct them badly, like switching the bobbleheads on decapitated littlest pet shop toys):

David has Teruko's secret.

Xander's secret is most probably "You're constantly blaming yourself for the deaths of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them."

Teruko's is most likely "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. This killing game is all your fault."

However, (to me), this says nothing about whether Teruko is the mastermind. It is consistent with her tendencies to feel guilt for events that most people would normally disregard as "having nothing to do with them", due to the effects of her ability.

There is also a chance that someone else believes that whatever occurred in the amnesia zone leading up to the killing game is all Teruko's fault, but it's explained well enough by Ultimate Luck that I don't feel the need to bring that into the discussion right now.

In my mind, if the secrets were flipped, it's not even particularly a revelation about Teruko. She's extremely open about feeling indirectly and sometimes directly responsible for any and all adverse outcomes suffered by her classmates, and she only reflects consciously on her fatalism after the CH2 trial.

The finished motive scoreboard can be viewed at 15:34 on Chapter 2 Episode 13.

In Chapter 1 Episode 4, Teruko self-discloses to Whit (with Charles present) that she grew up in an orphanage and never knew her parents. "For some time, [her] biological brother lived with her as well", which makes it more likely that their biological parents died at once in the same incident. She says that "one day, he left with some other family, and [she] never saw or heard from him since". As a result, most of her life was lived "without having any family to speak of".

It is possible she was lying there, but Teruko seems to prefer not speaking at all to active lying, most of the time [she does lie efficiently during trials about purely factual matters, but emotionally charged ones seem to challenge her somewhat]. As Xander said, she is bad at acting. I think her self-sufficient and markedly asocial behavior as well as her attachment to the hotel-like conditions of the facility all make it more likely that she was telling the truth, and that she ultimately didn't have anyone she considered a family for most of her life. It is unclear to me if she knows anything about her brother for certain.

It's also of course possible that the family had more than two children and that another sibling died in the incident that killed her parents before she could form memories, something that she would have only learned about after leaving the orphanage. So taking everything in a vacuum, Teruko's life might fit the parents and siblings secret. It's mainly David's behavior that makes me think she doesn't have it.

Xander was evasive about his past, and I'm only concerned with the events that have occurred in the series up until now, so I won't particularly dwell on what makes it more likely that he had the secret and am just going to say it's probably based on process of elimination. To me, it makes adequate sense for everyone else to have what they were disclosed to have.

So... David pressured Teruko for self-disclosure twice that I know of. Once in Chapter 2 Episode 6:

And once during the trial, in Chapter 2 Episode 13:

On many levels, the second one was just an incredibly strange interaction. He's a little bit too smug for it to really just come off as delight at forcing her to reveal something about herself.

In Chapter 2, Episode 9, at the close of the initial secrets roll (after being effectively told to confess by Teruko), David self-discloses:

I at first thought that David had Xander's secret directly, but that it was not that one--it would explain why David seemed to have a lasting gap in his understanding and needed to confirm it with Teruko's claim. However, since MonoTV's understanding of the content of everyone else's secret was adequate, it would be strange for this to be the case for David and Only David, unless there was outside interference/rigging.

I guess it's worth noting that the scoreboards have a ? on them, allowing for the possibility of some error, but it doesn't really change matters by the end of the trial.

Anyway, whatever is the case, I basically think David set a trap for Teruko right at the start by assigning this one to Xander. Things played out heavily to his advantage on that front, because after accounting for everyone else's motives, the one that Teruko claimed was the most innocuous one available.

(I think Min did poison/sabotage "the competition", because Xander's... like... entire gig is refusing to play those kind of social games where people are churned through the machine to reveal a Number One. He has shown himself to be obsessive and willing to do what needs to be done for his ideals without remorse, but he is not, to my understanding, competitive. Teruko isn't really interested in that kind of stuff either, as far as I can tell.

But to stay the Ultimate Student, you wouldn't simply need to be focused on performing; you would need to be able to regularly outperform others in a way that is accepted by authority, under conditions which are only monitored at opportune moments, such as proctored exams. That would indeed encourage ruthless behavior.)

I am only really able to read David's actions as a strategy to end the killing game and the existence of the mastermind, as that was the main genuinely felt sentiment he seemed to display at trial:

and he seems to believe that's Xander's goal/intention as well.

I think David did not "snap" at any point! His actions all seem consistent and to have a rational basis, even if it is impossible to understand that basis as an observer. He has to overcome considerable cognitive dissonance to idealize Xander, and it really seems to piss David off badly whenever Teruko even brings up the subject of Xander. That was true even immediately before the Chapter 1 trial.

[CH1 E7]

Teruko: Hello, David. Can you tell me your alibi from six p.m. to eight p.m. last night? [two dialogue boxes omitted]

David: Pardon my rudeness, but I'm not really in the mood to talk to others right now. Could you please leave me alone? [crying sprite] Xander is dead...

Teruko: Are you upset because you were close to Xander? If Xander were here right now, I'm sure he would say something along the lines of, "don't give up," or "we have to power through this." Maybe thinking of Xander will encourage you.

David: Can you stop that?!

David [regaining composure]: I'm sorry. Forgive my outburst.

(After that, he tells her his alibi.)

[CH2 E12]

David: Xander is a good person. He's the only good person I've ever known. I swear, I'll follow in his footsteps and--

Teruko: And get everyone killed in the class trial? Xander is a good person? Are you hearing yourself right now? What virtuous reason could he have for trying to kill me and everyone else here?

David: I'm sure he had a good reason. I believe that he did. Xander is not the kind of person to do anything for frivolous purposes.

Teruko: You *believe* that he had a good reason!? Hah! Based on what? The 3 days you spent with a fan who was too infatuated with the ideal of you to treat you like an actual human--

David: SHUT UP!

(David then intimates that he remembers Xander from more than a year ago and that everyone else should have as well. Incidentally, Teruko is either consciously or subconsciously blocking out Xander's behavior from Chapter 1 Episode 5, 9:43.)

Therefore, I do not believe that David received a secret which would more or less definitively pin Xander down as the one responsible for the killing game--it would be at least difficult for him to keep his composure throughout Daily Life.

The chance remains that he thinks the entire motive was rigged and is angry someone tried to defile Xander's memory. I certainly don't think it's strange or anything to believe that the motives were all distributed in the manner shown on the final scoreboard, even if I don't at the moment. He seems oddly miffed during the motive roll:

However, he definitely treats Teruko as "different" from everyone else, especially in this trial. I personally thought he wasn't just revealing his demeanor, which at most seemed sleepless and irritable in his introduction, but exaggerating it so that his credibility plummeted among everyone but Teruko, giving him the best chance at manipulating her behavior specifically.

Therefore, I believe that David either has Teruko's secret directly, or he has Xander's secret, with different content, in a way that definitively confirms Teruko's secret when she claims over it. It's more likely that he has Teruko's secret.

There was clearly a serious effort made to make the secrets the thing that everyone was most worried about. At the end of the day, I just think something implying that heavy a burden of guilt is more fitting for Teruko. haha

[starmahgalaxies]

YES. YES. YES.

I could post more comments but that about sums it up. Drowning in a sea of denial won't save either of you, child. lmao.

Hikari, you look so much better! ❤️

This just made things a whole lot more difficult. I'm not blaming kitty. I could never blame a kitty mostly. I do love that the background for this episode is the digivice being herded around by a lot of animals and some motor vehicles.

Kid goes to to summer camp for one day (and everything I could gather is it's meant to be an overnight camp as the parents are shown surprised their kids suddenly came home) and acts like they were gone for months. I don't want kids but if I had them and this was the response I would be anxious to have them away again for a while.

Anyway, Taichi is a sweetheart and parent hugs can be the best.

You could have told them. "Hey, I would like some privacy, please knock and ask for permission before you come in." And I think they would have taken it fine.

I'm not against kids locking their doors if they need to. They should be allowed to set aside something that is simply their space. I'm more unnerved that there isn't a built in locks already, and Koushiro had to go out and buy one. He is shaken by the decision though, and that's why I'm bringing it up as a simpler situation would be asking.

Every adopted child experience I have heard about says that the children would have been preferred to be told at the earliest possible time, and it's a breach of trust to withhold that essential information and shows lack of faith that they could handle it, exasperating the problem.

Something that could lead to trust issues beyond that (see above with Koushiro installing a lock in his bedroom without mentioning it because he feels that it is the easiest solution despite loving his parents).

I'm not adopted and don't have personal experience, hence why I won't make shitpost jokes about it like I do with Yamato and Takeru dealing with their parents divorce (of which my experience is plenty), but I still feel like mentioning... yeah. Be honest with your kids.

Their faces are funny. Caught in the headlights there.

Child who is more logical and pragmatic coming up with a whole comedy routine on the spot. Respect.

Beyond the roadblock of Koushiro not being told about his adopted status, they could compete for the sweetest family in Adventure.

Koromon small enough to eat without notice under the table XD.

I respect you taking your sister's word for it, but no. Do not let the conversation drop. It's obviously her. AHHHH

In other news, sleepy Koromon is adorable.

Giant iceberg of slime ahead 😁

I knew the perverted old man files will corrupt Gennai eventually. This is a joke... mostly.

If I can't see through Tentomon's disguise from the back then I guess it's a pretty good disguise.

Knows her child came home more emotional than usual and seems to have had a long day vs. "I know he would be upset if I didn't wake him up and tell him his friend called and seemed troubled."

😆😁

He looks so happy ❤️

Yeah! If I child is comfortable enough to misbehave/be rebellious around their parents than that could be a sign that they are comfortable enough to not be seen as "perfect." Showing weakness around authority figures is a better sign than them putting on a perfect act to avoid disappointment or retaliation.

Two worried siblings concerned about two different things looking out into the distance forlornly:

[cyberphuck]

ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED: PART ONE My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy, but they don’t want to actually have to read the books, so I’m summarizing it for them (and you)! When we last left Fitzy-Fitz, it was a really fucking long time ago, sorry, I stopped going to church and learned to chainsmoke (and this book is LONG, I mean it’s LOOOOOOONG, so I kept avoiding getting started on Abridging it, lmao). You can brush up on the frankly insane amount of different characters here at the Royal Assassin Cast of Characters post, or find the links to the rest of the Farseer Trilogy Abridged series here at this link here.

- Fitz awakens one fine October morning in a bed at Jhaampe hospital, where he's been recovering from being poisoned and poisoned and bludgeoned and kicked and drowned. At first he was having eighty seizures a day, but now that it's down to only twenty-five seizures a day, he and Burrich figure it's high time for the two of them to skedaddle before they get snowed in.

  Then, exactly like that scene in Attack on Titan where Eren reaches for a spoon and accidentally turns into a Titan, Fitz drops a spoon and accidentally turns into a seizure. It's a lot less cool. He wakes up hours later back in the same damn hospital bed with Jonqui the King's Sister and now healer sitting beside him.

  "This sucks," he whines.

  "Time heals all wounds, Pull-Out Fail," Jonqui says sagely.

  "Shut the fuck up. I'm fifteen and obviously know a lot more than you about healing, and I've decided I'm never going to get better."

  Burrich strides healthily into the room with a swanky new skunk stripe in his hair where his skull was recently cracked open. "What-ho, Lil Accident, are you ready to go back to Buckkeep?"

  "No. Everybody's gonna make fun of me. You go back without me."

  "So long as you wear that collar," Burrich says solemnly, "I must follow you."

  Fitz touches the black collar with the word DADDY on it in gold letters. "The way you followed my father?"

  "Yes."

  "Was it like, a sex thing?"

  Burrich, who has enough hidden piercings to set off a metal detector at twenty paces, asks, "Are we going back to Buckkeep or what? I'm getting kind of bored sitting here watching you do the Harlem Shake."

  "Also, I heard that Molly's candle shop was foreclosed on and she had to go live with relatives in a town that's about to be raided by Vikings," The Fool says from under the bed.

  "Gosh, I wish I could talk to King Shrewd or the Fool or find out what's happening to Molly," Fitz sighs, then sits up as the room fills with the wavy lines and harp glissando of a dream sequence.

  "Wake up, King Shrewd," the Fool says. He's sitting on a chair, not under the bed or in a hay bale for once, and Fitz finds it extremely disturbing.

  "Fool? What are you doing here?"

  "Oh, King Shrewd and not Fitz, I have to be here because you're sick and old," the Fool fools. "Here, let me fluff your pillows and feed you soup."

  "This is so weird," Shrewd-Fitz says. "I feel like... oh, the Skill line is ringing. What? Vikings are viking Siltbay so late in the fall?"

  "You know, it's creepy when you talk to yourself like that," the Fool mutters.

  But Shitz (Shrewd-Fitz) is already on a Skill video call, watching the Red-Ship Raiders pulling up onto the coast. Vikings run through the town, viking everything in sight. The raiders are wading through blood up to their knees, people are running around headless and on fire, it's awful. The raiders aren't even stealing anything-- they're just wrecking stuff, which anyone who's been to a Raiders game can attest to (go Cowboys).

  "Fool," Shitz says. "You can see the future, right?"

  "This is a weird time to reveal that particular nugget of information, but sure. Let's see... ah, yes. I see a bard who can't fucking read the room trying to find a rhyme for 'dismembered child.' That is not something Jaydee made up, it's a real line from the book."

  "Thank you, Fool, that's extremely fucked up," Shitz says. "Oh wait, who's this on the video call... It's Molly! Oh SHIT, it's Molly and Vikings are going to vike her!"

  But Molly wasn't called Molly Nosebleed as a kid because she's a trembling little violet. A Viking tries to vike her and she stabs him to death, whirls around and shouts "WHO WANTS SOME, MOTHERFUCKERS?!"

  Then a house falls on her.

  "Oh god, oh fuck," Shitz says, panicking. "Fool, use your future vision and tell me if Molly's okay!"

  "A bunch of women died in a bunch of horrible ways," the Fool says. "Do you want me to list them?"

  "No," Shitz says, and so the Fool doesn't spend two pages describing the graphic sexual assault, murder, and maiming of a bunch of townsfolk. Shitz sits back in his bed. "Run off and let Verity know Siltbay is being viked."

  Ever loyal, the Fool cartwheels down the stairs. Then Shitz sighs and says, "Man, being old sucks."

  "Yes it does, so quit your fucking whining about your little seizures and come home," Shrewd says, and ends the Skill call.

  The next morning, Fitz-Fitz packs up his stuff and heads out with Burrich and Hands to make the long boring trip back to Buckkeep.

The return to Buckkeep sucks especially hard because they have to take the 99 instead of the I-5 like last time, and Fitz is getting carsick. Along the way they keep having to stay in incredibly sketch Super 8s, which wouldn't be that bad (free soap and free weird smells!) but Burrich and Hands overhear someone standing out in the hallway talking loudly on their phone about how much King Shrewd fucking sucks.

  "Yeah he keeps raising taxes to 'defend our country' or whatever but Vikings are still viking the beach towns as much as they want," had said the Buckboi in the hallway. "You know who rules, though, Prince Regal!"

  "What towns did Buckboi say were viked?" Fitz asks.

  "A town no one cares about," Hands answers solemnly, "and the one where Molly had a house fall on her."

  After that incident, Burrich decides that they're gonna make the rest of the trip using surface streets and driving through people's yards. "If Regal finds out you're out here, he'll send someone to kill you," Burrich explains. "Verity's definitely not gonna protect you."

  "Is that because he consistently sees me as a tool first and a family member and human being second?"

  "Look," Hands interrupts. "I see Buckkeep-shaped lights in the distance." They ride up to the gates, which are guarded by a kid who was born a thousand years too early to be the squeaky-voiced teen working at the drive-thru. “Halt,” he squeaks. “Who the fuck are you?“

  Burrich scoffs. ”Who the fuck are YOU?“

  ”I asked you first!“

  ”I asked you sec—“

  ”All right, all right, who's holding up the line?“ The last book had a rich and exhausting cast of random extras murmuring in the background, but this one used all of their budget on talking CGI wolves, so they had to fire most of them and give almost all of their lines to Blade, The Guard Captain. His job is to appear at important moments and say things like 'hear, hear!' and 'how big WAS she?' “Holy shit, it's Burrich! Twitter said you and Chivalry's Post Nut Regret were dead!”

  “It's called X now,” Fitz says, emerging dramatically from the shadows.

  “Oh.” Blade says, while four of the other guards die of secondhand embarrassment. “H-hi, Chivalry's Pos... I mean... Fitz. You uh. Did you have a nice trip? Hey, you... did something with your hair, it looks... it looks good!”

  “Prince Regal was going around telling everyone I was dead, wasn't he,” Fitz says flatly.

  “Sometimes I can still hear his voice,“ Regal sighs from somewhere in the castle.

  ”What? No. What?? No! What?! No!“ Blade laughs as six more guards thud to the ground. ”No, of course not! It was just, you know, like, you know. YOU know. You know. I didn't really believe you were dead, I did retweet the link Regal posted but I commented with 'big if true,' so it wasn't really...”

  Fitz smiles. “Ho ho ho, Captain, don't worry your sweet little tits about it. Everyone falls victim to misinformation from time to time, and I accept the apology I assume you were about to provide me. Do carry about your business.”

  Halfway up to the stables, Burrich pulls Fitz aside. “Listen, Lil Accident, we're not at Grandma's house anymore,” he hisses. “You can't talk to people like you matter or Regal's gonna get his panties in a knot about it.”

  “And then he'll choke me,” Fitz agrees.

  “What?”

  “With his knotted up panties.“

  ”I'm also still alive,“ Hands offers after a long silence. ”Fitz, you're too weak and pathetic to wax your own horse, let me do it.“

  ”But...“

  ”Come on, Fitz, let Hands, my new favorite child, take care of the important work.“ Burrich takes Fitz's arm. ”Now go on up to the castle, that collar is making everybody question their sexuality.“

  ”What's a sexuality?“ Fitz asks, just before he's shoved into the castle, screen door banging behind him.

  Inside, Fitz looks around and notices that the place looks cleaner than it had before he'd left on the world's worst road trip. All the beer cans and ash trays have been cleaned up, someone's taken down the band posters and put up tasteful watercolors of succulents, and the 'NICE COCK' that had been scrawled above the toilet has been replaced with 'live laugh love.'

  ”Wrow,“ muses Fitz as he passes a sign on Verity's door that reads 'IF THE WARSHIP'S A-ROCKIN', DON'T COME A-KNOCKIN'. ”I'm kinda gonna miss the crusty sock smell. Good thing my room still reeks like teenaged boy.“

[give-soup-please]

have you seen this 'would you still love me if i was a worm?' meme? what if s/o asked narrator that? please?

(...Have you ever written for a character you love, and written for them in such a way that you fall for them a bit harder? I think I just did that. Hope you weren't expecting a shitpost, anon. I just- whoooo- He did something to me, and I'm the one writing the damned piece.)

“Would you love me if I was a worm?”

“No.”

The narrator waits for a few seconds, then bursts out laughing. “Oh, oh dear, reader- I apologize. I couldn’t resist the temptation. Now listen,” he says, grabbing your hand gently.

“If you were a worm, I would cultivate the lushest garden for you to explore and thrive in. I’d give you all the care a worm needs, whether that be… Dirt, heat lamps, whatever you need.”

“The idea of suddenly being transformed into an insect is rather reminiscent of “The Metamorphosis”, by Kafka, is it not? A transformation that isn’t anyone’s fault… it’s a familiar story to many of us, thematically.” He clears his throat, realizing he got distracted.

“Now, my analysis skills are far above the average- Believe me, I know. I’m a writer, I know where the mark is. Allow me to wonder, for a moment, if there isn’t another question you’re trying to ask me underneath this one. I believe you may be trying to ask, ‘would you love me if something about me changed?’, which is a fair and worthy question to ask a partner.”

He keeps rambling on like this, not recognizing the meme.

“Allow me to assure you, then, that there are very few changes that would make me let you go. It’s your heart, reader, that counts for the most, not your appearance. If you were suddenly changed into a worm, but were still the lovely, kind being I know you are, then- Well, I wouldn’t date an insect, but I would still take care of you as best as I could. Because you deserve to be taken care of, even when unforeseen things happen.”

You’re starting to get really emotional about this.

“I can’t imagine you transforming into something or someone that isn't lovable in some way. I fell for you for a reason, after all. So even if something major happens, and you change, I would still very much love you as you are. I think at the end, that’s all that really matters.”

He chuckles. “A worm, really? That’s about as likely to happen as my love for you disappearing, which is to say- It won’t happen. I love you, my dear. Seasons will come and go, the tides will swing, but the way I feel for you is steadfast, an ever-fixed mark.”

You’re a blushing and emotional mess. You pull him closer. You’re going to drown him in affection, having spoken words like that.

(I don't know where the fuck this came from, but he got my heart doing flip flops like crazy today. FFFFFFF oh my god i'm so in love with him. It's totally canonical that he'd remain dedicated to a partner. How many loops have we run him through? How many years has he been telling this story? He's such an emotional person, and i'm willing to bet money that when he falls, he falls hard.

I love him so much, he's the best character ever. I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM! GOD!)

(also holy hell, I've written a lot today. that's odd. I don't know how long that will last before I get too tired, but until then...)