#i'm taking this headcanon to this hill and fucking dying there

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

what if the tf2 mercs went to see Barbie? Ik its not relevant right now but this is critical information to tf2 lore and I'd love to see your take on it

TF2 Mercs Go To The ✨️Barbie✨️ Movie!

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Who cares if this is like two months late, I certainly don't. You're right it is critical lore and, dare I say I'd be wrong not to speak my truth on how these grown adults show up to the Barbie movie.

Mutual appreciation comment: You're so cool and silly for being a mutual, love you for that 💖

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Normally, I'd write a prompt like this merc by merc. Not today, these guys are all going together, this is getting written like the amusement park and beach headcanons.

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No spoilers! I think? I mean everyone's probably seen the movie, but still I tried to keep this spoiler free!

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So to start, we have various reactions.

Medic, Pyro, and Engie are the only ones outwardly and inwardly excited. Like we'll get to the dress-up shenanigans in a minute but these guys are hyped. Medic and Pyro more so than Engie, he's only excited because he's never seen Pyro this excited.

Heavy and Sniper both don't particularly care, but Heavy is more happy to go just to hang out with everyone.

Solider and Demo wanted to go to Oppenheimer, and the other mercs told them the Barbie movie was Oppenheimer. Hilarity ensues. (More on this later.) I'm also half kidding, these guys wouldn't complain about going to Barbie, they just also wanted to see Oppenheimer.

Spy and Scout are secretly so fucking excited for this movie. But outwardly hate the idea or complain about it. Oh, it's a girly movie for little kids? Okay Scout, keep saying that while you find some thinly veiled excuse to dress up for the movie. This is a waste of time and money? Sure Spy, keep telling yourself that while you pick out your outfit, I'm sure you just so happened to have a pink dress, like everyone else so obviously does.

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My Everyone's favorite part! Dress up time!

Don't get me started on Medic. He was prepared weeks in advance. Bedazzled his boots and gloves, found an extra lab coat, and dyed it neon pink. Ordered a boa and everything. He went all out and killed.

Pyro and Engie don't dress up nearly as much, but they both still dress up! Pyro finds anything pink they can, and even has Medic help with bedazzling. Engie finds one single pink shirt, and decides to call that good, but then is promptly drug off by both Medic and Pyro to help him come up with a better outfit.

Heavy and Sniper are quickly descended upon by Medic and Pyro. These two are hellbent on dressing everyone up. Pyro's busy covering Sniper with pink glitter while Medic's trying to convince Heavy that the bedazzling gun is safe to use on skin! (It's not). Both Sniper and Heavy feel deeply changed after their time with Pyro and Medic.

NOW HEAR ME OUT. Demo and Soldier would dress up in a full Barbie outfit for fun, and I'm willing to die on that hill. Like you do not have to convince them to put on something pink and sparkly, they would do that for laughs/fun. Demo is more to do it for a laugh, and Soldier is the type to do it because he likes having fun and being pretty :,) They are the only two to not be accosted by Medic and Pyro that night.

Scout is getting ready and he's so hyped, like this man has an entire outfit planned, but he's got to play it cool, you know. He spends at least an hour going in and out of his room, pretending he can't find anything and pretending to borrow things from the other mercs, until he finally gets cornered by Pyro, and dragged off to the lab for his Barbie movie makeover, complaining the entire way. (He wanted this outcome).

I'm so glad that I started writing this post-Spy Dress. I needed validation that he serves, slays, whatever, just fucking rocks a dress. Wears a pink dress 100% No question. Sequence, lace, boas, hot pink boots, it's so over the top but it's amazing. Medic just rolls his eyes when Spy claims he just had it lying around.

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Movie reactions!

Medic had so much fun oh my god. He was so enamored with the movie. Could, and would rant for hours about this movie if you gave him the chance. Didn't cry like most of the others, but he still genuinely loves the message and just everything about this movie! See's Scout crying and immediately rushes up to half comfort him and half use this as an opportunity to rant, "Well, Scout you see, zhis movie is supposed to make you cry, because if you look at ze-" type vibes

Pyro didn't really pay attention to the other themes, was just obsessed with the pink, glitter, anything Barbie and happy was all they focused on. Ask them about the movie afterwards and they'll just make happy noises and try and explain what they thought of the movie through muffled noises. It's clear they loved it though.

Engie was entertained by the movie enough, he got the message and really liked the music. He's just so happy to see Pyro and Scout having a good time, is a little worried about the other team members sobbing, but he tries his best to comfort them while having a very excited Pyro ranting something he can't understand.

Heavy cried. No doubt in my mind. Also loved just having a good time and being with the other mercs and just. Had to listen to Medic ramble for weeks afterwards but didn't care, was just happy his friend's all had a good time.

Sniper's reaction was to be expected. Indifference, got why everyone was hyped about the movie, he thought it was an alright movie and he wouldn't be opposed to going again, but enjoyed being out more than being at a movie.

Demo was told this was Oppenheimer and rolled his eyes, but he did keep hearing explosions from Oppenheimer playing next door and was so confused. He was hyped the first time thinking Barbie was about to get violent, but then realized where it was coming from, took a swig of his drink and settled back down to watch the rest of the movie. He didn't hate it, didn't love it. Had more fun getting ready.

Soldier was told this was Oppenheimer and believed it. The fact that you could hear explosions was also helping the other mercs case of genuinely trying to convince him it was Oppenheimer. I wish I could say he bought it and was totally fooled into watching Barbie under the guise of it being a totally differently movie but honestly I think it's funnier to have him pretend that the other mercs really got him when this man knows more about American history than anyone else here. Makes a joke about Oppenheimer being a very beautiful woman, and freaks the other mercs out a little bit.

Scout will have you wondering, can a two hour movie really help you work through all your internalized issues? For Scout it can! He went from being woefully misinformed on the way women are treated, (Not on purpose/with hate but just with that whiteboy has never seen the effect society has on women.) to crying in the first half an hour and changing his entire out look on things. It's one of his favorite movie now, he is no longer afraid of admitting that.

Spy is not crying, fuck off. He's just so bored that's why his eyes are watering. Man is sobbing. He loves this movie. Not that he will ever admit that. Loved the soundtrack most. He also had to try and fix his makeup (yes he wore makeup, I'll die on this hill.) in a dark theater so no one would know he was crying, and I think that's really funny.

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Bonus! Favorite Songs! (I listened to all the songs on the playlist to do this. I felt glitter melting from my ears, (/hj) you're welcome <3

Medic- Dance The Night. PLEASE HE WOULD SLAY DANCING TO THIS! DANCE WITH HIM! He's so silly, he want's to just have fun dancing to the entire soundtrack but this song in particular. You will hear this song blasting from the lab at least twice a day for about a month. (No this headcanons isn't based on the fact that this is one of my favorite Barbie songs).

Pyro- Speed Drive. I like the idea that Pyro just really likes upbeat music. This song makes me feel like I just did a line of coke so I'm assuming that they'd feel the same way, and they love that feeling! They also like songs with a lot of reptation so they can remember it better. ALSO,

"She my best friend in the whole world

On the mood board, she's the inspo

And she dressed in really cute clothes

Kawaii like we're in Tokyo

Devon Lee smile, teeth a white row

Got a classic, real deep, Van Gogh

She got loyalty, she says, "I love you, girl"

I love her more"

They sing that either out loud in a muffled voice or think it in their head about Engie, All. The. Time. They're besties yk?

Engie- Hey Blondie. Please, I'm sobbing. He thinks this song is so cute. He loves how sweet it is. He just immediately loves everything about it. Plays this so much when he's working, sings it a lot without noticing.

Heavy- Journey To The Real World. Honestly? He just really likes mostly instrumental music, and he also just likes short songs! I think he just likes the spacy vibe of this song.

Sniper- Forever & Again. Not going to lie. He was half paying attention to the movie and then this song dropped and it hit him like a ton of bricks for no reason. He was just super chill and then BOOM. Immediately having a silent sob/crisis. (He's okay, Scout comforted him, Scout was also crying too at this point).

Demo- Barbie Dream. He's not ashamed. He loves it. It's fun, it's silly, he's fun, he's silly. They we're made for each other. Likes the simplicity of the song. Hated how it got stuck in his head.

Soldier- Choose Your Fighter. I can't express how much I think this man would love Ava Max. Like it's insane. But that's also not the main reason. He likes how upbeat it is, and how confident it makes him feel. Like you can't tell me he didn't hype himself up with this song after the movie.

Scout- I'm so torn on this one, like I feel like he'd belt I'm Just Ken, but also, like I can imagine him also singing Barbie Girl, BUT THEN ALSO MAN I AM???? He likes the entire playlist. He liked everything, the movie, the soundtrack, this movie has him in a chokehold.

Spy- What Was I Made For? SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP. I honestly don't think I can let this man be happy in my headcanons😭But that doesn't matter! I heard this song and was like, oh yeah Spy from TF2 vibes hit hard with this song. Nobody else knew what I was talking about lmao.

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Ah! This was super fun to write, but it took me so long to write for some reason, (I've been putting off real-life work.) But that's neither here nor there. Also I had this finished, and then went, Oh! I should add their favorite songs, and it took another hour.

(I did a word count for fun, 1766 words, only counting the actual headcanons and not the preface and what I'm writing here and now. Also in times new roman, 12 point font, and double spaced this takes up 6 pages 😭)

[madnessofthespirits]

2, 9 and 17 about Diar and Alter for the character ask game 👀👀👀

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

cu alter: ummmm i'd die for anything. for example:

he's not lancer but he is very much cu chulainn

in EPU (and to a certain extent post-EPU too) he's basically just a guy trying to give himself agency in a situation where he's been robbed of his agency. this makes him act really weird

nothing about him has anything to do with warp spasm cu, even on a meta level

he's got that dissociative ptsd

whenever he's kind or caring i find it moving because he's quite literally been altered to suppress those parts of himself, which goes to show that they're actually too strong to be suppressed completely at all, and that he's fighting extra hard to be that way

(i may be interpreting this question as an opportunity to just share random opinions but hopefully that's okay)

diarmuid: the worst things that ever happened to him were ultimately the fault of awful old men with too much power and if fate would actually notice that and try to do something with what that might mean about him i think that would be a much more interesting thing to explore in regard to his character in fgo (or any other post-f/z media he could potentially be in) than well, most of the other things they've done with him post-f/z instead

also *straight guy voice* he's way stronger than either canon or fans usually treat him as being. urobuchi (or someone else on the f/z staff, i forget who) said he might have won the grail war if it weren't for kayneth being a fuckwad. all of the stuff he's done in his legends is at least as impressive as anything cu has ever done.

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

cu alter: honestly i think it was during the scene where he fights nero and she's trying to understand his motives and nothing he's saying really makes much sense and she points out that he's not even enjoying what he's doing, which he implicitly agrees with, and then tells her that his only goal is to just keep fighting until he's dead. i remember thinking to myself stuff along the lines of "wow bro that sounds Bad what's your problem" and "oh he's like Fucked Up fucked up i can't not care about him" and really it just made me want to understand him so bad

and then there's the finale scene where he finally admits that he's being forced to do what he's doing because medb used the grail to place him under a geis and it's like sad as fuck because he's been forced to sacrifice the parts of himself that feel joy and love just so he can maintain his honor, and therefore it's also heroic at the same time (this is what i'm talking about when i say that though he may not be lancer he is very much cu chulainn). also the part where's he kind to medb while she's dying in spite of having little reason to be and actually holding clear dislike for her is very touching

diarmuid: i definitely liked him from the start - like he so clearly just wants to do the right thing and have fun at the same time in spite of the fact that he has this horrific past and got saddled with this shitty master - like how could i not care about him? but it's definitely the last couple of scenes he appears in that sealed the deal for me. just seeing him walk away from that shitty encounter with kayneth and turn around and decide he's not gonna let that stop him from enjoying an epic fight with his best friend - and then he experiences one of the most awful fictional deaths i can think of and we learn that this whole time while he's been smiling and taking the high road at every turn he's actually been building up this whole volcano of grief and resentment. the whole thing is just as brief as it is powerful. it's a moment of honesty, it's touching, it's relatable, it's the closest thing to justice he's allowed. it contrasts so starkly with the side of him the audience sees up until then that it comes off as genuinely shocking, and it shows that he is just as glaringly human as he is a perfect knight, and therefore what makes him such an interesting and lovable character. can't imagine how hard your heart has to be to see all that and not care for him at least a little

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

cu alter: i think you will either get it or not, but out of all the songs i associate with him, of which there are many, i think of this one as being the most "his" of them all

diarmuid: i know i've already brought this one up before but:

"when i choose to see the good side of things, i'm not being naive. it is strategic and necessary. it's how i've learned to survive through everything." -- waymond wang in everything everywhere all at once (excellent film btw if you haven't seen it)

also:

[rookflower]

for character opinion ask thing - what's a random headcanon about cinderpelt you have?

ill just do all i have to answer for her as well lol

sexuality/gender headcanon: lesbian!! 100%!!!! i don't really have one set gender headcanon for her, i can easily see her as cis, transfem, or nb!

rating out of 10: 10/10 that's my obligatory childhood fav

favourite thing about them: i haven't read tpb in a wee while so this is pretty vague but i really like her relationships with the characters around her! she's got a strong personality that stands out in the huge cast. she's also surprisingly consistently written, while she's alive anyways- benefit of your fav having a short lifespan, i guess.

least favourite thing about them: i don't feel like i'm the best person to speak at lengths on the ableism in her character but it is definitely there and definitely the most glaring issue at play. the implications of her reincarnation and the retcon that she was secretly miserable and unable to find happiness her whole life especially fucking sucks

why i first started liking them: latched on pretty immediately, long ago. i just gel well with some characters who start out as excitable and cheery, and she's one of the first female characters in the series who really has anything to them (besides yellowfang, who gets worse later, and bluestar ig) so there was that i guess LMAO

do i relate to/project on them?: a bit!

fav moment: i actually really like her mortality struggles in tnp but tbh that scene in tpb where shes like 14 and she calls tigerclaw a stupid bitch takes the cake

fav ship: cinderpelt is unfortunately very low on ship options. i've seen daisy, fury, and gremlin suggested and those are all cool but very much rarepairs lol.

fav platonic friendship: firestar! also yellowfang, littlecloud, her siblings, sorreltail, etc. girl of many pals

a ship i hate: firestar! firecinder fucking sucks so so bad sorry <3 they are besties. like siblings. mlm wlw solidarity. i wish the erins could talk about cinderpelt without recanonising cinderfire but tis impossible it seems.

do i prefer canon or fanon?: uhhh neither tbh? cinderpelt canon is riddled with issues and cinderpelt fanon hasn't evolved since 2013. i like the version of cinderpelt that exists to me <3

random headcanon: i like to think that she. kind of fucking hates bluestar, having been her sole medicine cat for that tense while before she died, and after what bluestar did to brightheart especially. i love bluestar too but i think cinderpelt deserves to have a little rage and resentment as a treat.

what colour do i picture them as? solid dark grey, blue or purple tint, paler neck ruff/mane. i do like designs where she has some ginger flecks though.

unpopular opinion: can't think of anything serious but i will say that im dying on the hill of fluffy and fat or bulky cinderpelt designs. slim dainty cinderpelt designs are cute but thats never how ive pictured her so they don't read as the same character to me lmao

favourite map/pmv/amv

[withacapitalp]

Max for the question thing

Ah!!!! I love Max!!! And I'm finally home from the movies so I'm going to answer these!!!

favorite thing about them

I love how Max is still open. She tries so hard to be closed off and to pretend she doesn't have so much love, but she goes to Trick or Treat with them and she continues to talk with them and continues to hold her heart even if she knows that she's going to get hurt

least favorite thing about them

I think that my least favorite thing about her is.....OKAY THIS IS H A R D I think that I don't love her and Lucas in Season 3. I think that both of them are really messy to each other, but that's also bc they're middle schoolers in love and they're silly little messes

favorite line

"I survived before. I can survive again."

Jesus Christ Max's entire arc in season four is something that can be something so personal. Like augh not to get to Personal(tm) but like I know what it's like to have someone die and feel mixed about them dying. When your life gets better and you feel relief that they're gone, but you kind of hate yourself for that. Max being able to overcome and survive (FUCK THE DUFFERS FOR THAT STUPID ASS DECISION AT THE END BTW) like it just means so much to me

brOTP

Dustin and Max!!!!!!! Dustin and Max's friendship is just so so much fun they have such great chemistry. I also love Elmax as friends. Idk if it counts as a brOTP per say but Steve and Max???? Most epic siblings ever!!!! He was the only one of the older ones to get a letter!!!!!! He means so much to her and she means so much to him!!! I'm so!!!!

OTP

Lumax hands down hands DOWN. SEASON FOUR LUMAX????? Everything to me literally everythin. But also season 2 when they're in the bus talking and the way they open up to each other??? But like they just have this really beautiful thing where they circle each other over and over and can't stop.

nOTP

I don't know if I have any? At least nothing that's shipped heavily? Maybe Mike and Max? If people ship them anyways I'm not really into that

random headcanon

Max loves Spicy food so much and she makes Lucas take her to search for the spiciest food around them for dates. Lucas, who hates spicy food, begs to be allowed to just go to like McDonalds, but he also kind of loves the experience of getting to listen to her laugh at how much he can't handle the spice

unpopular opinion

I prefer Elmax as best friends. I think that they're really cute as gfs don't get me wrong, but so much of their season 3 arc was both of them needing a best friend and both of them wanting to have someone close to them who didn't have anything they wanted to 'get' in essence. I think like putting them in a romantic light takes away from that beautiful platonic love they have

song i associate with them

Running Up That Hill obvi obvi BUT I also love listening to Absolute Balance by Johnny Foreigner when I'm writing for her!

favorite picture of them

Okay so it's her and El BUT ITS THE BEST THEYRE SO HAPPY HERE THEYRE SO CUTE

Thank you for this ask!!! It's so much funnn

[synthwwavve]

from the ask list thing— bo-katan, for whichever ones you want/all:D

Aaaaa thank you! I did almost all of them but left out a few that I couldn't think of anything good for. Without further ado--

— a fun headcanon

She is really good at video games, especially FPS and strategy games (naturally.) She grew up kind of a loner and spent most of her teens holed up in her room not knowing what to do with herself, and this was one of her major pastimes.

— a sad headcanon

The scar on her forehead came from a near-miss of being fatally stabbed during an attack on the palace during the civil war, when she was only about 6-7. Fortunately she managed to dodge just enough for the blade to graze her skin and nothing worse. (I have a lot of uh. much sadder headcanons from this same night/event, but I’m not revealing them yet because I want to turn them into a proper fic >:D )

— a headcanon that canon doesn't disprove (yet lol, this could change in mando s3 now that we’re getting more Bo history)

She joined Death Watch ~4-5 years before TCW canon, but continued to feign a normal life in Sundari and a relationship (albeit a strained and not-very-close one) with Satine while actively double-crossing her and plotting to overthrow her behind her back. Satine didn’t find out any of this until right after the shit went down with Death Watch being exposed in general.

— a headcanon to spite canon, specifically

She is somewhere between 23-26 during TCW. Not 17. Not the same age as Satine. Early to mid 20’s. I will die on this hill.

— a headcanon about their family

Mom Kryze was not born a Mandalorian, she was the eldest daughter of a prominent Kalevalan noble family, and was adopted into the culture when she married Adonai... who was not a Duke until he married into her family, just an influential warlord and the head of clan Kryze.

— a missing scene that definitely happened

Not so much a headcanon but a speculation… something fucking intense must have gone down for her to lose the darksaber to Moff Gideon because?? she’s amazing at weilding it as we now see???

— I recognize canon has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it (+ what should have happened)

This is a bit controversial but in my headcanons, I tend to massively dial down her regret, deradicalization, and general arc towards redemption in favor of keeping her unhinged and villainous, just a bit more subdued with age. She’s just so fun and entertaining to me when she’s terrible….. I am happy with the direction they're taking her in current canon too though!

— something they believe about [other character] that isn't true

I headcanon that she had a lot of irrational, sometimes bordering on delusional, hate for her sister that often wasn’t based on anything true, but was founded on a twisted and dramatized misinterpretation of things she believed to be true about Satine and her actions, intentions, ideology, etc.

— their happiest memory

Having her dad's armor reforged to fit her and putting it on for the first time. I feel like it was kind of a “second birth” moment for her.

— favorite fanon relationship

I fucking live for anyone who writes Death Watch era Bo and Gar Saxon as antagonistic barely-frenemies who constantly give each other hell, I don’t know why it’s so funny and perfect to me but it is

— favorite should have been canon relationship

God. listen. not to get on my bullshit but Bo/Pre Vizsla…. Yes as a romantic ship because I'm trash of them, but I also just think more of their relationship and their past together “should have been canon” in the sense that I wish it was explained and fleshed out more, no matter what the nature of their relationship was. I’m dying to know what their history is, how they met, how Bo joined Death Watch, how she ended up his second-in-command, etc. I’m happy with my headcanons but I want to know what officially went down too!

Ask Meme post for anyone who wants it!

[clockvvorker]

Therion's Past: An Insane Meta/Headcanon Post

[cracks knuckles] all right I'm taking this literally 2% seriously, almost skim seriously, but this is a very serious headcanon that I refuse to let die until squenix tells me otherwise. So, without further ado, I present:

Hornburgian Therion, Royalty Therion and Both Of Them Put Together In A Clusterfuck of Headcanons I Call Hornburgian Royalty

(Mega spoilers for the entire game, including & especially Gate of Finis!)

Some Note Before We Begin

I make use of biblical allusions and parallels between Therion of Christianity and Therion of Octopath Traveler, mostly near the end, and as neat little conjecture rather than concrete evidence towards my theories. Usually, I’ll more often than not be talking about Therion of Octopath Traveler, but if I ever feel the need to make the distinction (like when talking about both of them in the same sentence), I’ll use C!Therion for the Beast from Christianity, and OT!Therion for the Octopath Traveler character.

Like mentioned before, some of the later bits and pieces will just be conjecture and mutual allusions to add strength to arguments rather than to be held as evidence by itself, so take those with a grain of salt. The larger arguments, however.....I’m very serious about those.

I may have forgotten some things, so pardon if I have to go out and edit this to complete some thoughts that I may have left unfinished. This is close to 3,000 words long and I haven’t proofread it yet.

If you have anything to add regarding anything in this document, feel free to send it my way!

Royalty Therion; Or, The Most Likely Explanation But That's No Fun Now, Is It?

Honestly, it almost feels as though they wanted to hint at this but didn’t do it enough.

Starting off strong character-wise, we’ve got the glaring similarities between Therese and Therion, namely the fact that they’re the only known characters with ‘unnatural’ hair colors in the game- that is to say, silver (and white) hair isn’t normally found in nature, while everybody else has colors ranging from normal blond to black; ‘anime’ colored hair isn’t exactly prevalent in Orsterra. It could be coincidence, but so could everything else and so I like to interpret it as not. Instead, it could be genetics. Bloodline, a recessive gene passed down more easily through the royal family or a branch thereof. Not to mention, mind, that Therion's hair is, if not confirmed, then highly implied to be naturally white. After all, while gaining white hair from shock or mental stress has been used in anime before (my own knowledge only really extending to Allen Walker from D. Gray-Man), it's clearly shown that Therion has white hair before his ordeal with Darius, and not enough is known before their meeting to imply any shock large enough for such a biological change (as unrealistic as it is to begin with). As for hair dye....while enough can be said of a thief not wanting a hair color that sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of Orsterra (in fact, there’s no strategic benefit, only loss, to dying his hair white), the lack of untouched roots also lends itself to the fact.

Also to note is that Therion actually shares his green eye color not with Therese but with Princess Mary, with whom Therese does also share a biological (if distant) relation.

Another thing I would like to address, while less related to their direct blood lineage, is the similarities in their name. It's mostly just convenient coincidence, but THERion and THERese both have seven letters and begin with the same four letters, albeit with different pronunciations; this could possibly lend itself to a naming trend within the family. Also, while I’ve noted time and time again that Therion is most likely derived from the name of The Beast in Christian lore, the origin of the word itself is quite literally greek for 'beast'. The hunted. Therese can also be derived from Greek. The meaning? 'Huntress'.

Hunter and hunted. The one who stayed, and the one who ran away. Everybody's names have had some sort of symbolism related to their path, however distinct (Tressa's name quite literally meaning 'third', as she is third in OCTOPATH order, and Ophilia's name is a direct foreshadowing to the death of her father and subsequent madness of her sister) or vague (Alfyn's name relating more closely to his action of chasing after the apothecary from his past, for example), and yet Therion's seems to be out of place. This could be the missing link.

Game mechanics wise, my reasoning gets iffier, but there’s still some evidence, or at least nice potential for world-building, going around. The most notable is the fact that the only known characters who wield swords in-game are trained mercenaries and knights, as well as Therion, who, as far as we know, had only traveled with Darius beginning at age 12. Other NPCs and enemy mobs preferred to use alternative weapons, namely daggers and spears. Sure, you can chalk this up to “okay but OT just needed another sword-using class to balance out the game mechanics”, but that’s no fun. Instead, I offer another explanation: Therion was formally trained in swordplay at a younger age, before he was introduced to Darius who wouldn't be able to teach him due to his own lack of training. Furthermore, because of this small time frame (roughly six years, if Therion started at the tender age of 6 as was the average for similar, real-life medieval societies), it's likely that Therion was either very gifted at swordplay to be able to learn it so quickly, pushed mercilessly by the person training him, or both- all likely assumptions for somebody with a noble birthright.

Hornburgian Therion; Or, More Fun And Also Still Plausible So Just Let Me Have This One Thing, Square Enix

Let's shift our gears here and talk geography for a minute; more specifically, I want to talk about four distinct locations related to both Therion and Hornburg. While the first two may be more obvious, Bolderfall and Hornburg itself, I'll be talking about the other two locations quite extensively as well: Saintsbridge and Riverford. While we know from the guidebook that Therion's first known location was his meeting with Darius in Saintsbridge, this also puts him in close proximity with Riverford- one of the pivotal locations, if not the most pivotal, pertaining to the Fall of Hornburg.

First, the obvious. Bolderfall and Hornburg have very similar geographic makeups; they’re both assumedly dry, arid locations with cliffs and other topologically similar features. Really, that’s all I have to say about that. There is potential for Therion having settled in an area similar to the home that he had lost in the war.

Yeah. That’s all I’ve got.

.....is what I would say, but wait, there’s more! Let’s take a look at the lower lefthand corner of the full map of Orsterra (shoutout to IGN for the high quality image).

We see that three- nay, four important points are located all in this area. “Four, but Hornburg isn’t located here!” No, I’m talking about the Orewell/Quarrycrest area where Darius betrays Therion, but that’s only important with regards to the actual story, not quite this meta, so it won’t be touched upon here.

The first place of importance is Saintsbridge, the city where Therion meets Darius for the first time. The second place, Bolderfall, where Therion begins his story path. And the third, Riverford. Now, the question here is, if Therion were from Hornburg, than how would he have ended up so far into Orsterra?

Riverford is the answer to that question. Riverford is most commonly known as the city where you fight Werner at the end of Olberic’s path; that is to say, he is the number two instigator of Hornburg’s ruin (number one being Lyblac). It’s revealed in the journals found in the Gate of Finis that, while orchestrating the fall of Hornburg, Werner also invests in the trust of ‘powerful men within Hornburg and without’. Adding onto that the fact that Werner has enough prestige and money to buy the entire city of Riverford after Hornburg falls, it would make sense for the area to also serve as an out-of-Hornburg base or otherwise sanctuary for Werner and his men before the fall.

In which case, since Riverford now has ties to Hornburg, how would Therion get there? The simplest answer is that he had arrived of his own free will. After all, Werner had been recruiting both mercenaries and ruffians alike, and a thief like Therion would surely be on Werner’s radar (granted his young age, however, this may not hold as much water). While serving under Werner, either as a ‘villain’ in his little act or as a courier or other role suited for a fleet-footed thief, there’s potential for Therion to travel back and forth between Riverford and Hornburg, therefore giving him a reason to be in both Riverford and Saintsbridge, as the next city on the road towards Hornburg (at least, considering the impassable terrain between Riverford and Marsalim).

The second answer, and I’ll go over this in the next section, is a little more extreme.

Therion was abducted.

Hornburgian Royalty AU; Or, Put On Your Pirate Hats Because We’re Sailing Into Crack Theory Territory Now Boys (Actually There’s A Lot Of Allusions And Parallels So Strap In We’re Going Meta-Diving)

Let’s put this all together, now. We’ve got Royal Therion and Hornburgian Therion. Why not both? However, while we can pull a few things from both previous headcanons - namely the knowledge of swordplay from Royal Therion and the geographical preference from Hornburgian Therion - there’s also one more story-based piece of information I want to look at.

Namely, the connection between Therion and Beowulf I, the first king of Hornburg.

I’m gonna pull these two pieces from The Records of House Ravus specifically as a basic gist of my reasoning:

“The dragonstones were bestowed upon the first Lord Ravus by the legendary King Beowulf I of Hornburg, and they have been passed down in our family ever since.”

[.....]

“It is said that the great sorcerer Odin Crossford used the power of the dragonstones to seal shut the Gate of Finis. Crossford had campaigned together with King Beowulf and aided him in the founding of Hornburg.”

There is a lot of allusion and generational referencing of the original closing of the Gate within the journals for the Gate of Finis, and this is only part of the excerpt itself. Odin Crossford, King Beowulf, and Lord Ravus are all tied into the lore behind the Dragonstones here, and we’ve obviously seen why the names Crossford and Ravus are so important (especially considering their kin also play major roles in the plot). King Beowulf gives the dragonstones to Odin Crossford to seal the Gate of Finis, and those dragonstones then go to the first Lord Ravus for safekeeping. We see that the most recent Lord Ravus (Cordelia Ravus’s father, assumedly) loses the dragonstones during a family strife, which connects the past Ravus to the future. Obviously, Graham and Kit Crossford act as two different keys to opening the Gate of Finis, which parallel Odin Crossford closing the Gate. So here we have a cyclical series of events, but there’s one thing missing. King Beowulf doesn’t have a seemingly present-day counterpart.....but who gave the dragonstones to the Ravus family?

Or a better question is, who gave the dragonstones to the Ravus family after he retrieved them all during the events of the game?

Now, we know that Cordelia is related to the first Lord Ravus through direct lineage; the same can be said for Graham (and Kit by extension) being directly related to Odin. Through this series of parallels, it also wouldn’t be a stretch to say that Therion, despite lacking a proper (known) surname, could also be related to the first King Beowulf (also without a surname, mind you, just as the late King Alfred is without a known surname) through direct blood lineage because of this parallel of roles.

I CAN ALSO GO INTO HOW THE NAME THERION, DESPITE MEANING ‘BEAST’, IS ALSO THE GREEK NAME GIVEN TO THE CONSTELLATION LUPUS, AKA THE WOLF, LIKE, Y’KNOW, IN BEOWULF, BUT I DON’T WANNA SOUND LIKE A CONSPIRACY THEORIST OR ANYTHING...........

........there’s actually a lot of real-life allusions connecting both Beowulf and Therion, including the role of dragons (although this one is shaky at best when you compare the dragon that mortally wounds Beowulf in the eponymous poem, directly opposed to the ‘dragon’ said to bestow power on C!Therion) and the role of royalty and divine power (also interesting to note that, while Beowulf from the poem is a direct king, C!Therion represents a king who is not and never was, leading back to possibly alluding OT!Therion as some sort of punished or escaped royalty). Literally all of this is pointless trivia, though, and doesn’t serve as hints or proof, but rather interesting tidbits that could lend itself to some alluded connection between the two. In other words? None of it matters, but I like to pretend it does.

Speaking of names, have you noticed the similarity between the pronunciations of Therion and Ferien, the kingdom that King Beowulf I was prince of before founding Hornburg? Because I did. It’s weird. Absolutely pointless to mention, but still really weird.

Supplement: Hornburg’s Collapse; Or, Erhardt, Darius, And Where Everything Fucking Fits

I’m not going to go into too much detail here, but with regards to specifically Hornburg Royalty, this is a hypothetical order of events; everything labeled to the furthest left is concrete canon, while every indented bullet is conjecture and theory. This is also where I go into a bit more detail about Therion’s kidnapping and subsequent arrival in Orsterra.

T-22: Therion is born

T-21: Erhardt’s village burns down

T-20: Werner forms the Black Brotherhood; this is the earliest possible moment for Erhardt to join the Black Brotherhood.

T-17: After three years of gathering intelligence, Werner begins to enact his plans; this is the earliest possible moment for Erhardt to join the royal guard.

T-17 - T-10: Somewhere in this time frame:

Hornburg falls victim to a war (civil war?)

Therion is abducted and taken to Riverford- potentially by Werner, but also potentially by Lyblac or another one of her cohorts

Therion subsequently escapes from Riverford and arrives in Saintsbridge, where he gets imprisoned

T-10: Therion meets Darius in Saintsbridge jail

T-8: Hornburg Falls 

T-8 - T: Somewhere in this timeframe:

Erhardt travels to Wellspring

Olberic finds refuge in Cobbleston

T-6: Darius Betrays Therion

T: Present-Day Octopath

That leaves a ten-year gap (from T-20 to T-10, but mind you, Therion is two at the start of that gap, so it’s highly unlikely the timeframe is quite that large) for Therion to learn swordsmanship and thievery skills and ‘go missing’. Within that gap, Therion would also have to have been kidnapped, either by Werner or Lyblac. While Werner is much more active in the plot against Hornburg, it is equally likely that Lyblac is the one to ‘dispose’ of Therion; it would give reason for Therion to have been taken care of despite Werner’s lack of knowledge of the king having an heir, and would equally give reason for Therion to lack memories of being kidnapped by Lyblac, because something something goddess powers.

Takeaway; Or, Kiril Is Fucking Crazy, Seriously, You Don’t Have To Sugarcoat It, I Know Already

Nah, for real bro, I know almost all of this is based on pointless coincidences and pushpin-string evidence, but it’s something that’s been in my mind ever since I first played through the game last July. I guess I just......needed an outlet, and wanted to get this out before

And on the off chance that this is real? That somehow, no matter how small or insignificant, I managed to hit a single nail on the head with some of this conjecture and crack theory levels of reasoning?

YEAH FUCK Y’ALL, I KNEW IT THIS WHOLE FUCKIN’ TIME.