#i've also been harassed for 'i don't want to tell you my agab' and 'coming up with slurs for trans people you think are afab is bad'

[that-stone-butch]

I think the most prevalent type of person that I've personally encountered who used the term Bi Lesbian to describe themselves is someone who was deeply engrossed in one identity, only to discover they were part of another, but the former had become too integral to their personal identity. I.e. A person who was labeled as a Lesbian for years discovering an attraction to men but loathe to abandon the label of Lesbian while still wanting to embrace her bisexuality.

which is a shame because bisexuality itself fucking rules, and i hate how our community frequently makes bi wlw feel like they are 'less gay' than lesbians.

there are a lot of anxieties around bi wlw in our community, and this all reminds me of the 'can bi wlw be butch/femme' and even 'can bi wlw say dyke' 'arguments' that have been brought to my table. (they can and have done so longer than we've all been alive, btw)

i'll remind everyone that both times i stood up for bi wlw in this manner, i was harassed off of this website. we have got to be more normal and inclusive of bi wlw/nblw. our community depends on it.

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

I have a question and I'm afraid it will come off insensitively so I want to start by saying please know that's not my intent, and also that you of course don't have to answer. I was under the impression you're a trans woman but then I saw you talking about surgery scars which I generally associate with trans masculine people/top surgery so I guess my question is am I misunderstanding what kind of surgery the scars were from? Or am I incorrect in my assumption that you're a trans woman?

I don't particularly like talking about, like, which type of trans I am honestly. Not because it's sensitive but because I'm nonbinary and while I have medically transitioned, it always feels a lil weird talking about AGaB.

Most of my life I've been treated like both, like, I get plenty of awful shit for people thinking I'm a trans man and plenty of awful shit from people thinking I'm a trans women, which won't really change even if I talk about my AGaB. The people who tell me I'm a delusional woman destoying her body by trying to me a man won't care if I were to claim I was AMaB, The terfs who harass me won't really care if I were to claim I was AFaB. Even before transitioning or realizing I was trans/nb I very much have lived most of my life where people see me as an effeminate man or a masculine woman, even as a child.

So I stand by just saying I'm trans and nonbinary, I don't care for specifying in which way I'm trans. If I weren't nonbinary I would probably be more open with it since it would be the identity/label I used, but since I am nonbinary and thus identify with Trans (as in someone who doesn't identify with their birth gender) and Nonbinary (someone who's said gender identity is neither male nor female).

It's not some secret really, it's just something I don't see as important. It helps avoid people trying to put me into a binary or ignore my being nonbinary, and I don't feel like anyone needs to know my AGaB, especially as I don't really participate in communities exclusive to trans men or exclusive to trans women (I don't even particularly feel like I share many experiences with either).