#i've been trying to do it without cheats though-like sending him to the time machine & mausoleum & dumpster diving

[pixelbots]

Spring is finally here! Anthon recently received an opportunity to obtain 10 life fruits so he's been out and about collecting stuff. He did manage to find some rare seeds...lol wish me luck.

[ticketstomydaydreams]

5:3666

(All We Have: Part Two)

Part One

Colson x Female Reader

Summary: You and Colson fall into a night time studio routine when he starts keeping you company through your insomnia and you decide to work though some past demons

Word count: 3,200 (ish, I lost count editing)

Feels: Fluff with a dash of past trauma

Warnings: Drug & alcohol consumption, domestic violence, cursing, Colson being so sweet it almost makes your teeth hurt

Companion playlist:

Machine Gun Kelly - 5:3666

Warren Zevon - I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

The Vamps - All Night

Halsey - You Should Be Sad

A/N: If you've been affected by anything in this story, please know you're not alone. My inbox is always open and I'm all ears 🖤

______

During the first couple of weeks of moving in, you’d been partying A LOT. The guys wanted to show you just how mad it got, breaking you into their chaotic household, blending the days together. Everyone was hyper and the house was buzzing with energy. You'd been so exhausted from all of it that you'd been all but passing out each night, but you couldn’t lie, it was great fun.

You’d tried to pass on a few nights but Colson would never hear of it, often forcing you out of your room to get involved as the house was filled with people, jam sessions taking place in between drinking games. It was a far cry from your usual homelife, your last housemate mainly kept to themselves so your place was normally pretty chilled. Colson had used your place as a quiet escape over the years, but it seemed you wouldn’t have the same set up extended to you here with this lot.

With the pandemic unfolding, the house had started getting quieter, less people in and out every night and everyone was settling into a lazier way of life. The gang were mooching around the house throughout the day and while the house was still lively at night, it wasn’t quite the party central you’d almost started getting used to. Your normal working routine went out the window as everyone had started working from home mainly and without your daily routine, followed by nights out partying, your insomnia was back with full force.

______

You were lying in your bed, trying to force sleep on yourself but after trying to nod off for a couple of hours, you accepted defeat and got back up. Throwing some sweats on and one of Colson’s huge hoodies (you’d been slowly sneaking them out of his closet, finding that the masses of material drowning your small frame were super comforting), you headed down to the kitchen, turned the stove on and filled the kettle up. You were scrolling through your phone when you heard footsteps on the tiled floor. Colson strolled into the kitchen looking disheveled in a white tank top and boxer shorts, hair ruffled and looking sleepy

“Dude, it’s 3am how come you’re up?”

“Couldn’t sleep, living that oh so fun insomnia life again” you sighed “Did I wake you?”

“Nah, I was already awake. Couldn’t sleep either and heard someone moving about so thought I’d come down” He replied, climbing onto one of the breakfast stools

“Yeah, I think it’s not having much of a routine. Hate lying in bed staring at the ceiling so just got up. You want a cup?” you offered, pointing to the chamomile tea you were brewing

“Sure, thanks” he says, taking the steaming mug from you

You sit down at the breakfast bar with him and start chatting, scrolling through instagram as you do. After about an hour, as you’re talking about an article you’re reading, you notice Colson doesn’t respond and you look to your right and see he’s fallen asleep, leaning on his hand, his mouth slightly ajar.

“Hey, sleeping beauty” you whisper, rubbing his back with your hand “Go to bed”

He slightly jolts at your touch, opening his eyes “Nah man, I’m keeping you company”

“Some company” you laugh softly “pretty sure you just slept through all my rambling there”

He leans against your shoulder, closing his eyes again “Hey, at least you’re not sitting here alone. That’s something right?”

“That’s true” you smile, leaning your head against his “You’re very appreciated, do you know that”

You gently push him upright and stand up “Come on, let’s go to bed. I’m pretty tired myself, so you’ve definitely helped”

He’s laid his head down on his arm on the counter, his breathing getting heavy immediately so you pull his other hand making him stand up. He stands up and puts his arm around your shoulder as you walk towards the stairs, your legs feeling heavy as you climb each step, carrying some of Colson’s weight as he sleepily walks with you

Once you’re standing outside your bedroom doors, he pulls you in for a hug

“Night kid, don’t be wandering around bored if you can’t sleep yeah? Just come get me. Nothing worse than sitting up alone at night…”

“Will do. Thanks Col” You squeeze him a bit tighter as he kisses the top of your head

“Night” you smile, as he let’s you go and turns and heads into his room, waving his hand up behind him

Undressing and crawling into bed, your eyes feel heavy as your head hits the pillow. Colson was right, insomnia was a much less lonely experience with a friend.

______

Of course, as is always the way after your sleepless nights, you sleep in super late the following day meaning the cycle continues and you find yourself wide awake as the witching hour approaches. Feeling restless in your bedroom, you get up, and decide to head downstairs and out into the studio because you figure you might as well put this time to good use. You settle into a chair with your acoustic guitar and started playing, stopping and starting as you figure out a melody, working your latest lyrics in with it

“I wanna start this out and say, I gotta get it off my chest. Got no anger, got no malice…”

“I thought I told you to come get me if you couldn’t sleep”

You almost drop your guitar as you hear Colson’s voice behind you, “Jesus, how are you such an enormous human but you still manage to creep up on me all the time?”

“Just a stealthy motherfucker I guess” He laughs, flopping into the chair next to you

“Whatcha working on? That sounded sweet, keep playing…”

Colson knows you sometimes get a bit self-conscious with people watching you sing, so he lights his joint, rests his head on his hand and closes his eyes. You smile as you see what he's doing, thankful he always understands what you're like.

You turn back to your notepad, reading over your lyric outline quickly before repositioning the guitar in your lap and resetting the metronome

___

‘I wanna start this out and say, I gotta get it off my chest

Got no anger, got no malice, Just a little bit of regret

No, nobody else will tell you, so there's some things I gotta say

Gonna jot it down and then get it out and then I'll be on my way

No, you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs, and cars

I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you

'Cause you can't love nothing unless there's something in it for you

Oh, I feel so sorry, I feel so sad

I tried to help you, it just made you mad

And I had no warning about who you are

I'm just glad I made it out without breaking down

And then ran so fuckin' far, that you would never ever touch me again

Won't see your alligator tears

'Cause, no, I've had enough of them’

___

“Man, that was beautiful Y/N. I got some chills right there…You just wrote that?”

“Nah, it’s something I dug up from ‘back then’. Been going through some old lyrics and samples while we’ve got all this time on our hands. It’s kinda cathartic to go over some of that stuff now there’s a bit more distance you know”

______

A couple of years ago, you’d been stuck in a really toxic relationship with your ex, Stevie. Your time with him had been a tornado of arguments, drugs and the constant heartache of him cheating on you. Every time you’d get close to having the strength to leave, you’d always cave in and the mess would continue with you losing a bit of yourself each time you stayed. You’d become pretty used to his violent outbursts, he had always been controlling and short tempered, often pushing you and throwing stuff around your apartment. Despite his own frequent infidelity, he flew into a jealous rage with you constantly.

He’d always hated Colson, despite him being one of your best friends, and while he’d play nice to his face you’d always get it in the neck once you were alone about how you and Colson were ‘too close’ and he ‘didn’t trust him’. Before that final night you’d spent with him, things had been pretty good with the two of you for a few weeks, there hadn’t been much drama and so you hadn’t thought too much of inviting him out with you and the gang for a night out clubbing. Your good run had clearly come to an end, when you felt his hand grab your arm tightly and drag you off the dancefloor where you’d been dancing with Colson. You’d been bundled into an uber so quickly, you hadn’t even managed to get your handbag from inside. You saw Colson running out of the club, followed by Rook and Slim who was holding your bag, as the cab pulled away.

Once you were back at the apartment, he flew into a rage. You’d never seen him this bad before, his eyes were dark and when you tried to argue back, calling his jealousy ‘pathetic’ he snapped. He’d grabbed you by the throat and slammed you against the wall, “Don’t you ever disrespect me like that again” he’d spat in your face, before striking you so hard with his fist that the skin across your cheek split open. It was as if his actions had knocked him back to reality, he’d let go of you and you ran to your bedroom, locked the door behind you and started packing a bag. He hammered on the door, begging you to open it and you could hear that he was crying. You looked around for your phone before you remembered you’d left it at the club. Desperate to get away, you opened your laptop and brought up instagram, managing to send Colson a message asking him to send you an uber to his house straight away. You’d thrown your laptop and a few more bits in your bag, the battery dying before you had a chance to wait for a reply, before pulling the bedroom door open and barging past Stevie. He’d tried to grab you, but you’d finally had enough “Never fucking touch me again” you spat, pushing him off you. The hatred in your voice rooted him to the spot and he said nothing as you walked out, the door slamming behind you.

Once you were outside the apartment building, the reality of what had just happened and the situation you were in started to wash over you. You had no phone, no wallet, your laptop was dead. Just as you were starting to seriously panic, an uber pulled up and Colson had leapt out of the backseat. You’d been in total shock and had just let Colson guide you into the cab and then out into his house, up to his room. He didn’t say anything as he led you to his bathroom and lifted you up onto the counter. He grabbed a flannel and soaked it with warm water, rinsing it out before pressing it softly against the cut on your cheek, gently wiping away the blood that had mixed with your mascara laced tears. The tenderness of his actions was almost too much and you started to sob again.

“Hey, hey. Y/N, look at me” he said softly, lifting your chin so you looked at him, his blue eyes misty themselves “It’s okay, you’re safe here. Don’t move, I’ll be back in a sec”

He left the bathroom and returned with a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Putting them on the counter next to you, he crouched down and undid the straps on your heels, slipping them off your feet and then helping you down from the counter. “I’ll leave you to change”

When you came out of the bathroom, Colson was lying in his bed “Come here” he said, holding his arm and beckoning into his side. You crawled under the covers next to him and snuggled into him, his long arms wrapping around you.

“Col…” you said quietly

“Yeah?” he whispered back, stroking your hair off your forehead

“Thank you…”

“You don’t need to thank me. I’ve always got you Y/N”

______

“I hated that fucking guy. That night...I wanted to kill him after what he’d done to you”

You see him tense up at the memory and you lean over and squeeze his knee “You’re such an amazing friend, do you know that. I don’t know what I would’ve done that night without you”

"You're a fucking warrior Y/N, you'd have handled your shit. I was just happy you trusted me enough to let me be there for you. You deserve so much better than that" he says, covering the hand you'd placed on his knee with his, staring you in the eyes and returning the smile that's crept across your face

"You know there's been a few punches I've wanted to dole out on behalf of you over the years, but you've never let me" you tell him

"Too right I'd never let you. I never want you in the drama, you're too good for getting caught up in that shit" he replies, pointing at you with mock sternness

"Hey" he says, seeing your expression wash over with a tint of sadness "At least the sleepless nights aren't what they were then…

… If we're gonna work through some old demons this lockdown, I'm sure I've got some songs and lyrics that have never seen the light of day" He reaches over the desk and pulls his laptop towards him "You've inspired me… "

"Oh no, are we gonna fuck our heads up with this?" you joke nervously, worrying that Colson's going to delve into something that's going to upset him

"Nah, I got you covered and you got me, right?"

"True dat" you say, as he holds his fist out so you can fistbump, his eyes now focused on his laptop screen

______

You felt kinda bad, having kept Colson up all night with you the last two nights, especially as you'd got him reminiscing about some tough memories, so tonight you tried to sneak past his room when your restlessness got the better of you.

"Nice try kid!" Colson says as he throws his bedroom door open, causing you to yelp in fright. standing there topless with his sweatpants hung low in his hips, he lights the joint hanging from his mouth "I told you we were in this together now"

"I felt bad, making you stay up with me"

"You didn't make me do shit…Wait a sec, let me find a hoodie. If I have any left in here…" he says, giving a pointed look towards the huge blue hoodie you were wrapped in before walking back into his room and rummaging through his drawers

"Oh shush, you have like a hundred…"

"Right come on" he says, pulling a pink hoodie over his head and flipping the hood up over his messy hair "Let's see what we get into tonight…"

______

And so the nights went on like this, the two of you falling into an easygoing studio routine. If there wasn't anything else going on in the house, you'd eat dinner together then head to the studio and work through the night into the small hours, skipping out the pretense of trying to sleep. You were both pretty productive at this time it seemed, both being proclaimed night owls, and keeping busy during these uncertain times was keeping your minds off the unfolding pandemic.

Considering he’d referred to his home studio in the past as the ‘rage cage’ (and it certainly could still be party central when the entire crew got involved), it was actually a place you drifted towards to relax these days. You’d always worked well together in a studio, but over the weeks spending so much time just the two of you, you became more in tune with each other, noticing when one of you had hit a wall and it was time for bed. Sometimes you'd work in comfortable silence, side by side, engrossed in your own seperate tasks. Sometimes barely any work would get done as you put the world to rights talking about anything and everything in a late night impromptu therapy session.

This evening, you'd been sitting cross legged in your chair for hours now, focusing so hard on editing a song which was driving you mad, you hadn't realised your feet had gone numb. As you try to move, your knees crack and pins and needles shoot through your legs. Colson looks up from the screen he'd been engrossed in after hearing you groan and sees you rubbing your feet trying to bring back the feeling to them

‘C’mere’ he said, before turning his chair towards you and leaning down to grab your legs, bringing your feet up onto his lap. He pulls your socks off and begins massaging your feet. You lean your head back, eyes closed and let out a long ‘hmmm’. You don’t see Colson glancing over at you and shifting in his seat as he lets out slow breath before turning back to his screen

“Now this is the kind of work session I could get used to”, you sighed "You being my studio bitch on hand for foot rubs. Although, I imagine this enjoyment goes both ways Mr Foot Lover” you tease, throwing him an exaggerated wink

Colson throws his head back with a hearty chuckle, and light heartedly slaps your calf

"Keep it in your pants Y/N"

You laugh and wiggle your toes, Colson letting out a dramatic, throaty groan in response. "Those are some sexy little toes though" he states, sticking his tongue out.

Still laughing, you put your hand to your chest, and gasp as you feign prudishness and try to pull your feet away. He grabs both your feet in one of his hands, keeping them in place then leans over the desk and pulls your laptop towards you

"Get on with some work you, this is supposed to be keeping you motivated, not distracted"

He scolds affectionately, with a smile on his face

“Okay, okay, spoilsport” you grumble as you pull your computer onto your lap

Half an hour passes, your legs still on Colson’s lap with him still massaging your feet absentmindedly with one hand while he works, and your eyes begin to feel heavy. You don’t realise you’ve fallen asleep, until you’re awoken by a “woah” from Colson as he catches your laptop which is about to fall. Taking it from your lap, he states “Right, time for bed you”

You check your phone and see it’s already 5:36am.

You stand up and stretch then walk over behind Colson, putting your arms around his shoulders, and resting your chin on his head. Looking at his screen, you yawn “You got much left to do?”

He leans back into you, bringing his hand up to rest on your arm, “Making some good progress so just gonna finish a couple of bits”

“Okay dude” you gently kiss the top of his head and squeeze the back of his neck a couple of times as you turn to leave “Try and get some rest, we’ve got a long day of sweet fuck all to do tomorrow” you say through another big yawn

“Heh yeah, Night Kid” he says softly, letting out a yawn himself. Colson turns and watches you head out of the studio and lets out a big sigh. Feeling the back of his neck still tingle from where you’d squeezed it, he’s suddenly aware of how empty the room feels without you in it....

______

Taglist: @triplexdoublex @thisshitisfuckingdifficult @brightblaqkkheaven

Lace Up! ❌❌

[another-blog-bites-the-dust]

The one that got away.

Summary: After a stupid mistake, Roger realises that the best thing in his life was always going to be the one that got away.

Warnings: angst, mentions of cheating

A/N: Okay so this is a little different to what I usually do but I thought about giving it a try! The song behind the fic is 'The one that got away' by Katy Perry but if y'all would like me to do something like this again, you can send me some songs if you'd like to and I'll try and create a fic from them 😁 I hope you like it! Enjoy! 💖Bold italics are lyrics!

Summer after high school, when we first met

We make-out in your Mustang to Radiohead

And on my eighteenth birthday, we got matching tattoos

"My mum and dad are doing to kill me!" You laughed tracing your fingers over the jet black ink on your skin. "But I love it! I love it so much!" You grinned and faced Roger who was lovingly gazing at you from the drivers seat. He had parked in front of his house, his parents were out for the night and yours were out of town so you decided to spend the night together.

Roger leaned forward and captured his lips with yours, almost pressing you into the window. You gasped feeling his teeth sinking into your bottom lip. He pulled back with a soft gaze, his eyes flickering between your lips and eyes- it made your heart skip a beat seeing how innocent and impure he could be at the same time. "I love them too," he smiled. "Less painful than I thought..." he admired the little piece of art on his arm. "I could never love it as much as I love you though." He flashed a charming smile and you couldn't resist kissing him.

"I love you too, Rog." You murmured against his soft, warm lips.

The pair of you still had cling film wrapped around your biceps to keep the fresh tattoo protected. They were matching- almost identical. You had both got skulls but the crossbones on yours were a pair of drumsticks and on Roger's, they were film reel strips. An ode to one another and what you both wanted to do in the future. Roger gently squeezed your thigh before getting out the car and then opening your door for you like the gentleman he was. You linked your arm with the drummer as you approached his house. When you reached the door, he passionately kissed you and dragged you inside.

You had been with Roger for a while now, the two of you had a natural spark. You both knew what the two of you were feeling, thinking, wanting. And tonight the pair of you wanted each other.

Used to steal your parents liquor and climb to the roof

Talk about our future like we had a clue

Never planned that one day I'd be losing you

You kept your head on Roger's shoulder as you looked out to London illuminating the horizon in the distance while the two of you stargazed on the roof with an almost empty bottle of brandy. Roger had wrapped you up in one of his fuzzy dressing gowns, keeping you warm from the cool air. You had climbed up through the attic to see the breathtaking view. Underneath you had a pair of your sweats that you kept at Roger's house along with a few other bits of clothing but you were wearing one of his t-shirts, the one that hugged your frame just as well as he did when he held you. "I've got an audition next week," you announced.

Roger went wide eyed and had a huge grin on his face, his hair was sticking up a little thanks to the sweat he had manged to built up when he was having his way with you. "That's amazing! For a movie? Or tv show?"

"Movie," you smiled. "Something called 'Star Wars'. They haven't told me much about the role I'm up for but I'm looking forward to giving my all to try and bag the part."

"What's the part?" He asked, not taking his eyes off you.

"A princess, it sounds like a good role. I feel like I haven't had any luck lately trying to get roles...I often wondered if I was just throwing away my future pursuing this career." You looked up to Roger with a soft smile on your face "But then I look at you- how far you've come with the band and then I smile. And I'll know I'll always have you in my future somehow. As long as I have you, everything else falls into place." You laced your fingers between the gaps of his and gently squeezed his hand.

"You'll always be with me- either in person or the tattoo," he joked and you laughed. Roger wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pecked your temple. "But in all seriousness, I love you and I'll always be with you." You softly smiled and rested your forehead against his.

Neither of you had a clue what the future held but you were both less worried knowing the other person would be in it.

In another life, I would be your girl

We keep all our promises, be us against the world

In another life, I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

The one that got away

"I'm so nervous, Rog," your hands were shaking as he drove you to the studio for your audition. "Thank you for taking me," you sweetly smiled. Roger reached across and squeezed your hand before bringing it to his lips while keeping a hand on the steering wheel.

"Not a problem, love." He pulled up outside the studios and you inhaled a deep breath. Roger turned to you "Don't be nervous- you've got this!" He gently cupped your cheeks "Believe me when I tell you this," he moved a little closer to you. "You will achieve anything if you face the challenge with a smile and an open mind and an open heart." He pressed his lips to yours and looked deeply into your eyes, his thumbs brushing over your cheekbones. "Always keep your heart open- even when you're scared it might hurt." You blinked away the tears welling in your eyes and nodded at his words. "Go knock em' dead, Y/N."

Roger gave you a kiss good luck before he watched you skip into the building with a grin on his face. He swallowed hard however when he rubbed his sweaty palms over his jeans and his fingers hit against the little box in his pocket.

He only hoped you would say yes.

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash

Never one without the other, we made a pact

Sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on, whoa

You lay next to him later that night wearing nothing but the sparkling engagement ring on your finger. Roger kept rubbing his fingers over it, making sure that he was living in the real life and not a fantasy. You had said yes. You were going to be his wife. "So..." he began with a growing smirk "Do I have to refer to you as Princess Leia now or...?" He trailed off and you giggled, snuggling closer to him.

"Soon-to-be Mrs. Taylor will do just fine," you playfully retorted. You gently brushed away the stray hairs on Roger's face "You're the most beautiful human being on this planet," you whispered and softly kissed him while he blushed.

"I get inspiration from you..." he flirtatiously murmured and you laughed into his shoulder, the sensation of your hair on his sensitive skin made him smile. It felt so pure and so natural.

Your smile soon disappeared when you were reminded of the inevitable when your eyes flickered up to his drumsticks that were laying on the table in the bedroom you both shared. "I'm going to miss you when you're on tour," you felt a little deflated knowing you weren't going to be seeing him for the best part of a year.

"I'll be back before you know it," he reassuringly smiled "Plus you'll be too busy being a badass space princess to notice that I'm gone!" Roger winked and then touched your ring again. "Will you promise me you'll always keep this on?" He asked in a whisper.

"Always. I promise."

Six months later you were surrounded by newspapers with Roger's face plastered over it while in your dressing room. You had just finished your final scenes and were supposed to be feeling elated and full of joy but you felt nothing by anger and pain. On most of the papers you could barely see Roger's face as he was too busy smashing it up against a girl with bright red hair. He didn't kiss you like that. With tears welling in your eyes, you slowly removed the ring. But a promise was a promise and you kept it on you- only you kept it in a place where you could easily keep it hidden from everyone if you wanted to. Around your neck on a chain. Right now it felt like a noose.

Even though he did what he did, you still had a special place in your heart reserved for Roger. You would always have it.

Roger arrived back to a house that only felt like half a home. Everything that belonged to you was gone. He had stupidly kissed a groupie he could barely remember the name of and had let you slip right out between the gaps of his fingers. He knew it was his fault. He knew you would always be the one that got away.

Someone said you had your tattoo removed

Saw you downtown, singing the blues

It's time to face the music, I'm no longer your muse

You walked passed the large crowds of people screaming your name as cameras flashed with a smile on your face. A year later you were at a party in London. The club was warm but there was a little patch on your chest that always remained cold- where the cool metal of the ring rested against your skin.

You then heard more screams when a band came on stage, you looked up and saw Roger under a spotlight. He was wearing a top that exposed his muscular arms and you could just make out the blisters on his arm where the tattoo used to be. Roger knew that a faint outline would always remain no matter how much he had the laser removal machine try to burn it off. A painful reminder of what he once had and lost.

You kept yours- you knew it was no use running from the past. The past helped shape you as a person. It shaped you both. You decided to leave, he didn't spot you in the crowd- or so you thought.

In fact, all he could see was you. But then you disappeared into thin air. Roger decided to play something a little different, just for you. He even dedicated it to you, fully knowing that you were already gone. "This next song is for the girl that got away," he sadly announced and began banging on his drums.

In another life, I would be your girl

We keep all our promises, be us against the world

In another life, I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

The one that got away

You both watched each other blossom and flourish in life from afar. You found out a lot from talking to Freddie, Brian and John and then the rest from newspapers and various magazines- most of it was tabloid garbage though. Roger read the Oscar nominations that were in the paper one night in 1984- you had been nominated. "Your dream came true," he whispered with a small smile with tears welling his eyes as he brushed his fingertips over your name, a tear of his falling on your smiling face.

Your real dream hadn't come true- it was likely it would never.

The dream was still hanging around your neck.

You had won the Oscar that year and had also bagged a husband a few years after. Roger eventually got married and that crushed you. The hole in your heart caused by him was filled by your new love and co-star Harrison whom you met on Star Wars. He was very different to Roger but he made you happy and understood what you went through in the industry better than anyone.

But there was still a crack in your heart that was caused and being kept jammed open by Roger. A piece of you felt guilty for still loving him- especially when you had married such a wonderful man. Harrison had questioned the ring on your neck but you had told him that it was just a piece of jewellery that was a little too big for your finger but you still liked wearing it- you claimed the necklace was a compromise. He also questioned your tattoo- you told him you were blackout drunk when you got it. You were, only you were blackout drunk on love rather than alcohol.

The one, the one, the one

The one that got away

You were on the carpet on the Golden Globes years later with Harrison by your side. You were up for a special recognition award for all your work. A reporter called you over to ask a few questions. "Congratulations on your award tonight, Y/N- this will be your seventh Golden Globe!" He gushed.

"Thank you so much! I can't quite believe I'm receiving the award!" You bashfully admitted.

"Now, you really started your career in one of the biggest movie franchises of all time- do you remember your humble beginnings?" The reporter asked.

You were transported back to Roger's car, his lips on your hand and those words of advice he gave you before you went in and got the part. You nodded and tightly smiled, trying to not focus on the twang of pain in your heart. "I do. Very well." Your hand found itself holding the ring on the necklace. It was on show tonight thanks to the low décolleté on your dress that exposed your neck and a little of your chest.

"Now a little birdie told me that you knew Queen back in the day," he slyly grinned and you felt like your heart was being placed in a vice and slowly being crushed. "Have you seen 'Bohemian Rhapsody?'"

"Yes I have," you smiled, keeping relaxed demeanour. "Rami's portrayal of Freddie is incredible- he did him proud and I wish him well tonight!"

"Yes! The first of many nominations I think!" The reporter grinned "Brian May and Roger Taylor are here," your smile dropped a little hearing his name. "Will you have a good ol' catch up with them?" The reporter asked, wiggling his eyebrows slightly. Your relationship with Roger was unknown to the media and most of the world. You kept it between yourselves and your close friends.

"If I get the chance," you forced a tight smile "Thank you!" You waved and walked off, your hands were trembling and your heart began to beat a little bit faster. After years being apart you were finally going to be put in the same room with one another. You took your seat at the table, Harrison sat beside you and reassuringly squeezed your hand. He thought you were nervous about making your speech but really you were nervous about potentially seeing Roger again.

Roger sat down at the table beside Brian and Rami, making general chit chat with everyone at the table. His eyes glanced up for a moment and at that same time your eyes locked onto his. The pair of you just stared at each other for the longest amount of time, neither of you knew what to do. Somehow you both looked the same but so different at the same time. You thought it was the eyes- they were the exact same pair you loved looking into, only with a few wrinkles around them. It felt like it was only the two of you in the room- even in the world- at that moment in time. He thought you were just as beautiful as the day he first met you. Roger's eyes flickered down when he saw something shining in the light. He felt himself gasp and Brian asked him what was wrong. Only nothing was wrong- he was just shocked that you had kept your promise after all these years.

All this money can't buy me a time machine, no

Can't replace you with a million rings, no

I should'a told you what you meant to me, whoa

Cause now I pay the price

You swallowed hard and managed to smile, Roger returned it after a few seconds. You turned and talked with someone next to you, subconsciously reaching up and nervously playing with your necklace- Roger noticed you doing it. When you reached your arm up to do so, he caught a glimpse of your- now slightly faded- tattoo. His was still on his bicep- albeit very faint remnants of it where the laser removal failed to burn it off. A part of him was happy that it didn't.

When they called your name, Roger was the first one to rise to his feet and clap for you. You smiled and thanked them all with a wave and a smile, you spotted Roger and Brian and sent them a small grin. Especially to Roger.

You held on to your award with one hand while unfolding a small sheet of paper with the other and began reading from it. "Firstly, I'm so unbelievably thankful to everyone that has helped me reach this stage in my life. I honestly can't believe it!" You nervously laughed and then looked down at the piece of paper you had wrote your speech on and then your eyes flickered up to Roger. You then folded over the sheet subtlety, deciding to speak from the heart instead. "Sometimes I often wonder what I'd be up to in another life. I wonder if I'd ever become an actress...I wonder if things would have worked out in the end and turn out the way I always imagined them to. The way I dream they'd be." Your eyes were locked on Roger and he was looking at you. He knew what you were really talking about. "You never really know what the future holds." You softly admitted before clearing your throat and smiling to try and break the serious tension you had created. "I certainly didn't think I'd be holding another Golden Globe!" You laughed and everyone joined in. You looked at your award and fondly smiled, remembering his advice. "I guess that in this life- and in any life- you will achieve anything if you face the challenge with a smile and an open mind and an open heart. Always keep your heart open- even when you're scared it might hurt." You wiped away a tear with the back of your hand and looked around the whole room, finally breaking your eye contact from Roger. They were all welling up at your words. Especially the drummer. "Thank you!"

Roger managed to catch you after the award show had finished in one of the rooms where other winners and actors had gathered. "Hi, Y/N." You softly smiled at him. "Congratulations," he leaned forward and quickly kissed your cheek. Your skin still remembered those lips well and your eyes shut feeling the contact of his skin against yours.

"Thank you, Rog. Congratulations to you and everyone on BoRhap too!" You grinned "Freddie would have been so proud." You swallowed away the lump in your throat. "It's good to see you." You honestly admitted.

Roger had his eyes on the ring he had once slipped on your finger but was now around your neck. "You kept your tattoo," he chortled when he saw it up close before turning serious. "And you kept your promise..." he whispered.

"When I said always, I meant it." You said in a low voice. "If you want it back, I can -"

He quickly cut off your ridiculous statement "No! No! It's yours!" He looked at you with a soft gaze. "Always."

In another life, I would be your girl

We keep all our promises, be us against the world

In another life, I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

You jumped slightly feeling Harrison place his hands on your waist. "We've got to get going," he looked down at you, flashing a grin. "The car is waiting."

"Oh, course," you looked at him with a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. "I'll get you there!" He kissed your lips and then shook Roger's hand hello and then goodbye in the few shakes. You turned to your former love, the ring on your necklace felt ten times heavier than usual. "It was good seeing you, congratulations again on the nominations and wins." Roger took your hands in his and gently squeezed them before leaning in and pressing a long, soft kiss to your cheek. Tears began to sting both your eyes. "Goodbye, Roger," you softly spoke when he pulled back, his face still close to yours.

"Maybe in another life I wasn't so stupid," he whispered and then let you go. It was agonising for him to let your hands slip out of his. "I'm sorry."

You nodded "I know you're sorry." You glanced to your feet for a moment before gazing into Roger's glossy eyes with your own tearful ones. "But is it bad that a part of me wishes I was living in that life sometimes?" You whispered so only he could hear before walking away. You glanced over your shoulder at Roger to take one last look at him up close.

"I don't think it's a bad thing..." He mumbled to himself. Roger sighed because a part of him wanted to be in that life too. A life where he still had you. But that was just a fantasy.

The one that got away

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