Tumgik
#i've had plenty more relationships after him but i rarely ever think about those guys
elenadoeslife · 10 months
Text
your first love hits different
#another day another vent-in-the-tags post#i came across a picture of me and my fiest boyfriend of five years today. picture must've been 10 years old at this point#found many more pictures of him and us on my dad's old pc#i can just feel my body pull and heart ache when i look at him in the pictures#wondering what my life would've looked like if i hadn't broken things off between us#we tried to stay friends and a couple of months later we went for a drink. when daying goodbye he moved in to kiss me#i was hesitant and stepped away. he couldn't bare having me in his life while not being together so he cut off all contact#don't get me wrong in any of my thoughts- i love babe whole heartedly and he's the only man for me now and in my future#it's just that nagging feeling burried deep. the 'what if's. what if i felt more confident about my body back then?#what if i hadn't moved on so quickly? what if i had let him kiss me?#i tried texting him telling him i was approved for gbp surgery (i broke things off because i was very insecure about my body)#he congratulated me and sincerely wished me all the happiness in the world but also asked me not to contact him again after this#it's been 7-ish years but every now and then i wonder how he's doing and what he's up to#he doesn't really have social media apart from facebook (and that page is private) and i only stayed in touch with his former best friend#but i'm not gonna ask him because i know they haven't spoken in years either#i've had plenty more relationships after him but i rarely ever think about those guys#am i okay? is this normal? lol#i should get my head out of this rabbit hole asap#add: the picture is almost 15 years old lol. my math ain't mathing. we met in 2009. not that it's important#i think i just moved on too quickly and didn't allow myself time & space to grieve. that's why he keeps popping up in my thoughts now & then
7 notes · View notes
generallybarzy · 4 years
Text
hey there, stranger. i
SERIES MASTERLIST
summary: when you mention being lonely, Rebecca Seidenberg sets you- their babysitter- up on a blind date with Mat Barzal.
an: hi, i’ve been mia for a few days now due to some stuff, you all know what happened, but anyway here’s something to make my absence better! i know there might be some details that don’t make sense irl but just roll with it please I love the strangers to lovers trope so much. 
word count: 1.6k
Okay, you were lonely.
Ever since moving to New York for your first year of college, endless amounts of studying and work and more little jobs on the side to make ends meet living in the big city had taken up most of your spare time, leaving few opportunities for dating. Even when you did go on dates, they rarely lasted long enough to be called relationships, and not once have you had a serious relationship. This was your 20s, you were supposed to be out there living your life, weren’t you? Stupidly falling in love and getting your heart broken and learning along the way. But instead, you were busy trying to focus on that degree, leaving any hope of a love life behind.
Of course, there was nothing wrong with focusing on your degree, it was a degree you'd been looking forward to getting and you had been lucky enough to get accepted to your dream school, but it would be nice to have a significant other you could hold at the end of the day. Right? None of your many, many dates ended well, though, and though you were still young and didn't need to worry, you were lonely and felt late to the party as all your friends were falling in and out of love. It may have been dumb, but you were beginning to believe you’d never find the right guy.
And that’s where Rebecca Seidenberg stepped in to help.
She was a friend of your mom's and aunt's, and, though you didn't know her personally when you first moved out, word had spread through your family and to family friends, and she reached out to let you know that if you ever needed help in the big city, she would be there. She had been practically a mother figure to you since last year when you moved to New York all alone at 19 years old. She and her hockey player husband lived on Long Island with their children, just a quick commute from your city campus, and apparently, your mom had been in constant contact with her since your big move, checking in and asking someone to watch out for her little girl. You got a call one day asking if you needed any extra cash because, according to your mom, you were good with kids, and the two could use a babysitter for the night.
So, while you resided in a dorm room in the city and worked on campus between classes, you spent a lot of your Friday nights and weekends out on Long Island babysitting for the Seidenbergs when they went out on date nights.
They all quickly came to love you, especially the children, and you found it worth it to spend your weekends with them rather than out on any shitty dates or getting drunk at some stupid, dangerous frat party like a lot of college students. You loved their family, you loved all the genuine love, and could only hope that one day you'd have a relationship with that much love in it. You didn't like to admit how much you wanted a boyfriend, maybe it had something to do with your own insecurity, but you didn't want to think you needed a man. Maybe it had something to do with your fears, too. You didn’t want to get messed up again. You didn't need a man, but how great would it be to have someone there at the end of the day to curl into and rant to and love? It would be amazing. Okay, maybe you were a hopeless romantic. But you’d never admit it.
But about a month ago, as Rebecca was talking to you about a date Dennis was taking her on next week, you were feeling particularly romantic and hopeless. Your second year in college had just started up again, and you had returned to New York from your hometown to settle back into your lonely dorm room. All your friends were either meeting up with their partners after spending the summer apart, or dealing with the loneliness of having to be separate from them for the upcoming year, but you had nobody like that, and just let it slip.
"I wish I could find a guy who loves me like that." You lamented after commenting on how the Seids looked at each other with absolute heart eyes. "It's starting to feel like I'm just destined to be alone."
"What?" She looked at you incredulously, laughing a little as if she couldn't believe you hadn't found anyone. "You're still young, you have plenty of time!"
"Yeah, realistically I know, but I've been on so many dates, and none of them are ever successful.” You groaned, maybe a little dramatically as you thought back to all the dates you’d had since moving out of your parent’s house last year and coming to New York. “And all my friends have, like, solid relationships, or are at least messing around, and I can’t even do that. I feel so far behind.”
“There’s no timeline on love.” She spoke wisely, like the motherly figure you’d been missing. “You’re not falling behind. Anyway, the chances of you meeting the love of your life this young are pretty slim.”
“I know, and I’m not looking for the love of my life. Just… someone, you know?” You thought for a moment, just of having someone to smile with, to hug and to kiss after a hard day. You hadn’t had a true boyfriend since your last year of high school, and that hadn’t ended well. You had fallen hard for the wrongest person in the world, and he had done nothing but hurt you for months. It had definitely messed you up a bit, but you wanted nothing more than to forget about that whole ordeal and come out of your shell again, to love again. “I don't know if I'm being too picky or my standards are too high or something, but I just attract the wrong types of guys."
"Hmm." She gave it thought for a moment, and you knew she was going to work some of her motherly magic. "Well, what are you looking for?"
"I don't know. Just someone who's genuine? Someone who's really passionate and has a big heart. And funny, the guys I date always have the blandest humor and it makes dates so awkward and I'd have to force laughter. Someone who actually cares. I don't think that's too much to ask for, is it?"
"It's definitely not." She laughed for a moment. "I actually know someone who fits in those categories really well."
"Really?"
"If you'll let me, I think I could get him to go on a date with you."
"No, no way, blind dates aren't my thing."
"What's your thing? Dating apps?" You laughed at the playful chirp, but unfortunately, it was true. "Come on, I know it'll go well, even if you don't end up together. He's a great guy!"
"Alright, fine!" You laughed a bit, at both how excited she was and how excited you were to meet this guy she spoke so highly of. "It better be worth it."
"Trust me, you'll love him."
Tumblr media
And that's how you ended up here, sitting all alone in the corner of a little coffee shop in Brooklyn, fiddling with the strings coming loose at the sleeves of your oversized sweater. It had been getting chillier out in the past few October weeks, and even though it was cozy and warm inside, you kept your sweater on for comfort, so you had something to fidget with and calm your nerves.
You were so nervous, you were overthinking everything you were doing. Were you dressed okay? Jean, a cute turtleneck with a loose sweater thrown over top, a cute little necklace- too casual? Not casual enough? Was your hair a wreck? You’d thrown it up in a cute bun but had it become a wreck since you walked here through the breeze? Your makeup was simple, but had it covered up the fact that you’d been breaking out due to the stress of your recent surge in classwork? You had already ordered a drink but immediately rethought it. Was it rude to order before he showed up?
As much as you trusted Mrs. Seidenberg, you couldn’t help the nagging feeling that this date would go horribly. He would be here any minute, you were sure of it. You could feel it.
And you were right.
The door to the coffee shop rattled open and in stepped a man who quickly drew your attention away from everybody else. In dark jeans, a tee, and a nice-looking black bomber jacket, he didn’t really stand out, but there was something about him- his aura, the way he held himself, that made him so appealing. That immediately drew your eyes to him. He had dark hair that looked soft to the touch and made you want to run your fingers through it, and his brows were furrowed above searching eyes as he looked around the room, making you think that maybe he was looking for someone. Maybe he was looking for you. Maybe it wasn't too much to hope that this man was your blind date. And the moment his eyes fell on you- the only person sitting all alone in this cafe- your eyes locked. Only then did you realize you’d been staring. His eyebrows quirked up a little bit and you saw a little smile start to pull at the corners of his lips. As he approached your table, you realized your prayers were answered.
He moved in long strides, almost gracefully towards you, and you were so mesmerized with how he approached you that you almost missed his beautiful voice when he spoke to you.
"(Y/N)?"
Breathless, you smiled. "Hey there, stranger."
272 notes · View notes
derireo · 4 years
Note
I've had this in my head for a while, so I'm just gonna ask, from the winter troupe, who do you think are ummmm v i r g i n s (oh God I can't believe I am even asking this sorry omg) if you would like, you can also do the other troupes, i dunno why but I find it interesting in a way (obviously not muku or yuki if you decide to, and also, if you feel uncomfortable with this ask feel free to ignore it! you are the writer after all! take care!❤️❤️
np, anon! to those wondering, very strictly i will not include members who are 17 and under in the game here so please be mindful of that if you do not see a member you like in this post
All Troupes (no members 17 & under): Virgins?
SPRING
Sakuya
Definitely a virgin
You think he's ever held hands with someone in a romantic way??? He can't even ask someone out without quickly changing his mind before going back to ask again. Maybe when he's older and gets out of his cute baby thing, he'll get to bone, but not now. Maybe not ever? Keep him celibate.
Itaru
Definitely not a virgin.
He probably got tired of rejecting people's advances at some point and just cooly agreed to spend the night a few times. Very likely that he barely did any of the work, but still got them to orgasm; he's crazy good for no reason. Definitely really likes being the one receiving, but he's different around you though, and actually makes an effort lol
Tsuzuru
50/50. I have no idea. Most likely a virgin though.
He literally has like 3 younger brothers and juggled a lot of part time jobs along with school; I don't think he has ever had the time of day to pop a boner. His mind is so preoccupied with getting tasks done and finishing upcoming assignments that he's gonna be a virgin for a long while.
Citron
Literally no clue. Maybe not a virgin?
He's 22, and a lot of people tend to lose their virginity in their twenties so who knows with Citron?? He's awfully good at flirting with others and knows how to fluster people, but does he know how to Get Down & Dirty????? Again, no clue. Maybe he bones so well that his victims can't even say anything about it.
SUMMER
Kazunari
Not a virgin probs
Despite how well he socialises with other people, he's not one to just casually have a fling. He does think of other's feelings and how they feel about him, but it's rare for him to take initiative with someone he's interested in. Otherwise if it's the other way around, but he isn't attracted to the person that's coming onto him, he'll refuse and scurry off.
Misumi
Definitely a virgin!
He literally only thinks about triangles and food, there is no chance that he's had sex yet. Maybe if he had a character in the play that required him to be a playboy or something' he'll absolutely fool people into thinking he's been around, but his sunshine personality and tunnel vision towards certain things prevents him from having fun. Don't think he's interested in sex, really.
AUTUMN
Banri
VIRGIN
Mr. Tough Guy over here tries hard to let people know he's been around. Totally, not true. He always brags about having more girls liking him than Juza, and it may be true (since he doesn't seem as terrifying as him), but he has never gone that far with a girl. Sure, he has dated A LOT, has had plenty of girls sit in his lap and has definitely had his fair share of kisses, but he's a virgin. He dumps a girl before he even has the thought of boning.
Juza
VIRGIN
Absolutely no way could he have ever had sex. He's so self-deprecating sometimes, so that's one reason why he hasn't gotten that far with girls, plus he really loves sweets and food so that's probably the only thing occupying his mind. He hasn't even been in a relationship yet because he gets nervous around the people he likes and probably thinks he's not even worth dating anyway. He's probably a good boy though and will wait after marriage.
Omi
Surprisingly not a virgin
Shocking? Not to me, honestly, lol. Again, Omi is a people pleaser, and remember that phase in his life where he was a super tough guy ass kicker??? And rode motorcycles (from what I can remember)??? Of course this man is gonna be a chick magnet, and Of Course I am willing to let him choke me. So, yeah, he's probably fucked once or twice during that time in his life, but once he got into Mankai, abstinate.
Sakyo
Not a virgin, but he'll definitely fool you into thinking he is.
What do I mean? Why, I'll tell ya. He's got a stick so far up his ass sometimes that you can't help but wonder if he's sexually deprived. Like 31 years without getting your dick wet? Absolutely tragic. Anyways, nah, he definitely has a body count higher than 3. May have been quick flings considering he used to work a shady job and got high off the thrill, but he only focuses on Mankai now.
WINTER
Homare
Maybe
He did have a girlfriend at some point, but I don't know how far he would have gotten with her. It seemed like she was so annoyed with him and his lack of emotion that they probably didn't get too far. He is quite the notorious poet though, so maybe he used to have a few groupies??? Is that possible??? Do u think Rupi Kaur has groupies???
Hisoka
. . . Maybe
With his vague storyline about being a spy prior to his amnesia, the only reason I can give for him not being a virgin is solely because he had to have sex for a mission. Like how James Bond has sex with the enemy or something and then gets all the intel of the evil organisation he has to go against (never watched any of the movies). Otherwise, he's a virgin in his life as Hisoka.
Tasuku
VIRGIN
Doesn't care about men or women; too preoccupied with working out and acting that his dick never gets pulled out by someone else. Sure, maybe he'll tug one out because his body demands him to, but he never really was interested in relationships nor does he seem to be someone who finds physical attraction important.
Tsumugi
VIRGIN
Also focuses way too much on acting and working that he doesn't get the chance to. He was in a relationship before if I recall correctly, but he probably didn't have enough time for them considering he was so busy. He has also probably tugged a few out, but only because his body required him to do so. I'm not sure how he feels about sex tbh?
Azuma
NOPE
You can't tell me he's a virgin, it's just not possible. We don't even know this man's age!!!! He's probably a vampire!!!! He's probably been fucking for centuries!!!! And have you seen how well he can flirt? Super crazy. Pretty sure he's a sadist as well with how he always says he likes to be the one playing, plus he always manages to lure out the worst of the boys just for his amusement. Body Count: Out the Roof
157 notes · View notes