#idek but its something and now I'm not frustrated! so!

[aroacehanzawa]

THANK YOU FOR RBING WITH YOUR THOUGHTS especially the last line.

i really do miss when bsd stayed in its own genre, and I KNOW before someone comes at me that sometimes you gotta do a little exploring, a little swaying. but not like this. i just dont enjoy the manga anymore because it's so far from what i fell in love with. and again before someone says oh then why are you reading it and complaining if it makes you so mad😤😤😡 IM NOT EVEN READING IT. I CHECK THE LEAKS AND I GO YEAH THIS IS STILL JUST FYODOR AND DAZAI NOT DYING. also because i care about the characters and i still want to see how the whole thing is resolved cuz guess what im not gonna just stop reading it after i invested 3 years of my life into it.

anyway yeah. as i said. whagever.

ME TOO.

The thing is that bsd has always been something more than just silly detectives vs port mafia shenanigans, but it managed keep this larger world contained in a way that made sense in the story. For example the book, which is practically a deus ex machina device, still had its place and function in the story - francis wanted it to bring back his daughter, and even the usage of the page to frame the agency was logical.

Even the more high tech stuff like the eyes of god surveillance system was well played - not only did we get a funny ace attorney moment of francis interrupting the courtroom and buying the software, it actually became plot relevant in the cannibalism arc to locate fyodor and early doa arc to find mushitarou. (and francis's death fakeout was actually good, because it wasn't overdone yet, plus we got a nice and fun redemption arc for him)

But then we're suddenly getting a bunch of new ability weapons like fukuchi's sword and prison realm one order and idk. what else have we had. Time manipulating cat lady who was practically used as an off-screen human ability weapon for dazai's convenience and then immediately killed off with no name no dialogue no character #feminism.

All this while it seems like asagiri completely forgot about the part where atsushi is somehow a beacon towards the book, but that isn't too surprising because it feels like asagiri has forgotten about the role and personality and agency of the characters in general. The thing that drew me into bsd in the first place was its sincere focus on the human experience, the way that each chapter and mini arc seemed to have something to say about the overarching themes of finding a reason to keep living and a place to belong. Now i feel like the last time we got to see any of this kind of commentary was with tachihara's arc, or briefly with sigma, but it still feels too shallow.

And like you said there's nothing wrong with a little exploring and a little swaying, in fact i think the whole premise of bsd is that it allows for so much exploration, but to me it feels like the potential that bsd held in the beginning is just not being met anymore. Or rather we're just not heading in the direction we could've been going in.

Atsushi and his implied connection to the book like i mentioned earlier. The order of the clock tower that has been teased since agatha's introduction and some sporadic mentions/implications of its existence since then. Dazai and fyodor's unknown first meeting (this is why i also don't like them killing off fyodor just like that because we still don't know anything about him BUT the way we've ended up in this inexhaustible loop of dazai wins fyodor wins dazai wins fyodor wins i also don't see any way out of it unless one or both of them die so. asagiri just look at what you've done)

idek what i'm trying to say here i'm just really frustrated because i've invested so much of my time in following bsd and it's like as a reader i'm not even getting anything out of it.

anywya read orv for good plot and characters and worldbuilding and literally perfect storytelling and respect for the reader

[fonulyn]

Just wanted to say that I’ve followed you for a few years now, and have enjoyed a lot of your fics. I try to comment when I can, but a lot of the time I just don’t have the energy or am in too much pain from chronic health issues to do so as consistently as I’d like.

I write for a variety of fandoms myself, both small and large, and I understand how frustrating and disheartening the lack of engagement can be. I tend to average 3-4 comments per fic, and my most popular one so far has 8 comments and 30-odd kudos, on a 25-chapter, 200,000-word fic. The sad reality is that no-one owes us engagement on our writing, and the old mantra of “write for yourself” still holds true, especially nowadays when it seems like reciprocal engagement is dropping off everywhere on social media (I don’t get nearly the same number of asks or responses on here that I did 10 years ago, and I think that reflects a wider change in how people are using social media nowadays).

I guess what I’m trying to say is that writing and posting can be its own reward, but it requires a change of mindset. I found that when I focussed on how much I enjoyed writing, and how proud I was of the final product, it got easier to weather the lack of engagement, and to appreciate the few-but-substantial comments I do get (also helped to realise that the whole reason I was so hung-up on popularity in the first place was a lack of recognition and validation in childhood, and that I was effectively denigrating my creative work in pursuit of something that had nothing to do with it, and which remains unachievable anyway since my mother is an unrepentant asshole). There’s also the fact that popularity is just a numbers game, and overwhelmingly rewards low-effort, low-complexity, broad-appeal works as opposed to those of genuine substance. Put simply, to be unpopular, or otherwise rarefied, is often a mark of quality.

appreciate the effort! and i do get that we're all human and sometimes doing stuff just requires effort that is too much.

you're also right that the entire social media and fandom have changed. things will probably never be the same.

and yeah no one owes us comments. but at the same time the sad reality is that no comments is gonna mean no fic. not saying this to be contrary or mean, it's just how it is.

i've always hated the "write for yourself and stop complaining about lack of comments" type of posts tbh, because writing and sharing are two completely different animals, at least to me. i'm still writing. right now, actually. and i probably will always write, more or less. but idek if i'll be posting stuff anymore because. why would i?

i genuinely think that i had it too good for a while in the "old fandom" lmao when people still commented and interacted and fandom was fun and felt engaging and it was so easy to make friends. so the shift to this consumerism is always going to feel jarring. and unfair.

i'm not even saying i wanna be super popular or anything, i am not expecting a sudden influx of twenty comments on a fic :'D but i would like to feel less like a squishee machine pushing out content thanklessly, y'know, lol.

(also, sorry about your struggles, and your mother :/)

[mrs-monaghan]

Hey shaz, I've seen people question why we need more jikookers banding together and I wanted to address another side of it. ( This may get long sorry!) Yes ttkkers are getting way too comfortable invading jkk spaces but besides the fights they start....they also hurt alot of new and more casual media-using jikookers.

Not those insecure ones, but those who genuinely love and support jikook but may not be in the ideal headspace to combat these people. I'm not a big social media user and I've met so many other jikookers who feel the same and just use Twitter and media to appreciate jkk and engage with content they enjoy. No one asks for drama, but then you have tkkers there shuting down curiousity and engagement from the onset. They attack stupidly yes, but for ppl new to this, or not strong enough for that fight..its enough to leave a traumatic impression. And it's bloody ironic this happens to the new jikook community when tk is the first ship that most new fans get recommended and indoctrinated into!

Especially in this "drought" before MS, please remember to take care of yourself and your mental health first. And definitely keep in mind that to support jikook, jk and ESPECIALLY Jimin..you have to be willing to play the long game. Trust in these two and their relationship. That the truth will out eventually, that they KNOW they have people out there who support them and that everything will work out.

Tkkers will make something out of nothing so you better believe they will always have "explanations or connections" for every little thing Tae and jk. They have the advantage of bending their narrative however they need. Jikook, however, is a real couple with real problems, and moments. They will never play to a narrative so we won't always get these "easy loud moments" all the time. THEY determine what to show and they determine when to show it..all we can do is try to understand NOT impose a narrative. Yes, I understand it gets frustrating when you see tae and Jk moments being twisted by tkkers while jkk are laying low. Tkkers always be loud for no reason, rather than let those things get to you, appreciate the subtly of a different jikook right now. Enjoy that these moments we get are left there for each other and for us who they know will understand. Those who get it, will get it and whose who don't will be writing wattpad narratives to explain jikookery👌

Idek why we listen to people who loudly claim Jkk haven't seen eo all year. Anyone with a brain would know all members are seeing eo at some point we just dk about it. We only found out from RM Minimoni were together recently otherwise we'd have never known that if he didn't tell us. So who knows who else is hanging out and when?

Also as per the logic that what u see is what's real then tkk the real couple have only see eo 5 times all year so far. How does that make sense? These people when they claim things they don't even consider how it will backfire on them. In 6 months tkk have only seen eo 5 times and I'm supposed to believe they're a couple? How?

Its why I hate insecure Jikookers sm because they don't think. Ever. And even worse they listen to people who are absolutely dumb as fcking rocks. I can't respect someone who believes anything a tkkr has to say. I simply can't.

But everything anon said was true. However can I just say as bad as twitter is you can only see what u want to see? If you curate your timeline properly you shouldn't be able to see their shit. Very many Armys are on twitter and don't even know what goes on half the time. Especially Armys who don't ship and are on twitter for BTS and other things. They are completely blind to the fighting half of the fandom does. It's absolutely possible. Just follow the right people and block anyone with a tkkr sign on their bio and u should be good. Also Suga solos are moving like tkkrs now in terms of dragging Jimin every chance they get so u might wanna watch out for those, too.

Oh also unfollow Jikookers like me who fight alot with these people because then u will definitely see that crap on your timeline 😂

Gd luck! 😘

[minimoefoe]

Thirteen Era Rewatch: The Halloween Apocalypse

I'm re-watching Thirteen's era in lead up to the Centenary and since this is likely going to be my last full re-watch for a while I thought I'd do a post on each ep where I just go over all the things I love, hate or just have some general thoughts on.

When S13 aired I made a posts similar to this after re-watching each ep before the next one came out. The Halloween apocalypse post can be found HERE.

I still can’t believe S13 started off with Thasmin in a bed together like…

I remember when this ep first aired and when I rewatched it before ep two I didn’t give a single fuck about the tunnel guy. But then by the end of the series I was like oh this is kinda cool

Dan’s first scene where he’s hyping up Liverpool is kinda cringe. Idk if it’s the dialogue or how John plays it but I’m not a huge fan

If this is foreshadowing I will materialise in Chris Chibnall’s bedroom at 3AM

Remember when we had these pics and people were speculating what it was. I remember some ppl thought it was Davros and I was genuinely baffled. I think I thought the eye had Sontaran vibes

It looks so cool!! Also that is literally Jared Leto and I can’t get over it

I do kinda wonder why Swarm chose now to escape? Or like, what suddenly gave him the ability to do it. Maybe they said and I just missed it but it kinda feels like a nice coincidence that rn is when he manages to get out. Not a big deal but meh

Me when I lie

Yaz saying trick or treat is kinda cringe ngl

I remember ppl freaking out bc they assumed Dan wouldn’t have a good laptop but I don’t see the issue tbh. If anything I just think it’s a bit shit bc the laptop doesn’t even look that good, like it kinda basic. Woulda been better if it was unreal looking

Right from the beginning Dan and Karvanista are an iconic duo

I’m actually obsessed with then someone calls the Doctor out and she’s like ‘lol idk what you mean’ but she says it so poorly like she doesn’t even attempt to sound like she’s telling the truth it’s so good

Yaz getting annoyed and frustrated at 13 in this ep is just so amazing idek what to say. This was what I so desperately wanted to see from S13 and Chib really pulled through

Claire interrupting their chat is so annoying. It happens multiple times in this ep and then in 13.06. Like instead of a convo naturally coming to its end, something gets in the way so characters aren’t forced to actually respond and it makes me crazy

Proud 13 :’) I love seeing Yaz be more Doctor-y and I feel like her literally controlling the TARDIS is a 10/10 way of showing it

The whole scene in the TARDUS where 13 says about not mentioning everything is 10/10 (up until the convo gets cut off)

I do think what’s going on with Azure is fairly obvious. She got sent away as her punishment and I assume chameloned, and the warning that showed up was them telling her Swarm escaped. And then when Swarm got to her he managed to reverse it/get her back. I do think more time spent on her might have been nice but also I think all the info we need is literally right there so it’s like who cares idk. I imagine there was some cut scenes and we got left with the bare bones of what we need to understand which is fine imo

This is literally so ‘I’m the Doctor, I’m a Time Lord….’ coded

Yaz and Dan have a 10/10 vibe literally instantly it’s unreal

Lupars having designated humans is so cool. I also love that Karavanista does what he needs to do but isn’t happy about it lmao

Love that Dan shouts and Yaz tells him off. Also odds on Yaz wanting to sneak in bc she thought she might be able to hear some of what the Doctor and Karavanista were talking about before the Doctor realised she was there

Dan calling 13 ‘Doc’ is literally not allowed

How close Swarm gets to 13 is so uncomfortable and weird I love it ngl

I love Yaz doing all the talking when Dan asks questions. Like even before they get separated from the Doctor Dan is more like Yaz’s companion than 13’s

I love that the Vortex energy does literally nothing. Shows how powerful the Flux is

The cliffhanger of this ep is so cool I stg. I even love all the shots to the ppl we met in this ep. I think I used to think it was a bit cringe but this time round it got me hyped as fuck

[dksartz]

616 warrior cats au thoughts stuff under the readmore

I decided the 616 au should kind of be different from the mcu au. Idk, just, Tony finds Steve in 616. But I wanted them to be friends first/for Steve to be the reason Tony joins the clan. But then it doesnt work, bc who is gonna vouch for Tony joining?

Why did Steve and bucky cat actually disappear, like what happened in the cat au that leads to them not returning/disappearing??? I dont know! And Tony is supposed to be friends with Jan and thor and hank etc before they find Steve, okay, I can still do that...

Tony came to the clan because he didnt have a home anymore and because he needed to at least try to find out what happened to Steve. They want him to leave at first but he explains why hes there, asks them about Steve cat, they dont know, he might be dead.

He says that he doesnt have a home anymore and Steve cat kept trying to convince him to join the clan so he knows about the code and starclan and he wants to be a part of their clan. They take him to the clan and he explains and they're divided but since they're down 2 cats and dont have a lot of cats, they accept him as an apprentice.

Tony is grieving Steve cat, but part of him doesn't believe hes dead, somehow. He ends up befriending the others his age etc fairly quickly... Uhh it's much later that they find Steve after star clan gets involved in Tony cat's dreams, and the leader/med cat as well, decide to send a small group to investigate what the dream was pointing towards, and its Jan, thor, Tony, and hank.

Bruce is med cat maybe so idk if he should come. Also rhodey, let's throw him in? Anyway they go on an Adventure and they do find Steve...idk what happened to him or bucky, why he didnt return, what happened at all, why he and bucky left/what they were doing.

Did they get caught by twolegs? Did they get attacked by the equivalent of bloodclan? Why were they near the twolegplace? Investigating something??? Maybe star clan meddling again, dreams, idk. Or, Bucky (younger than Steve like in 616 canon, Steve cat has just recently been made a warrior, bucky has only been an apprentice for a few moons) had tracked Steve bc his friend kept disappearing on him, on the way back from visiting Tony, bucky, who is following Steve, gets atta led by a cat or dog, Steve leaps to his defense, they have to flee, but get turned around/lost in twolegplace.

Maybe they find another cat in need and try to protect them and then get separated by accident. Steve cant find bucky, hes not sure how to get out of the maze of thunderpaths and twoleg paths and fenced in yards, etc. And he gets grabbed by some twolegs.

Meanwhile bucky has been captured by the bloodclan equivalent and forced to join them, he's afraid. hes afraid to disobey or try to run because he doesnt know how to get out of fhe twolegplace, he doesnt know what happened to Steve and he cant fight them and hes not ready to die all on his own, this is not a battle he can win. But he will hate himself later. I guess. Cats dont really have brainwashing. Maybe he hits his head and forgets things, or maybe he was only just made apprentice and is manipulated. Idk.

Anyway so Steve is caught by twolegs and ends up in a shelter? He was caught for tnr lol but then hes scared theyll kill him if he fights so he acts friendly, so they think hes adoptable maybe, and theres a mix up with paperwork so they think he was fixed but he wasnt actually. But hes not friendly enough to adopt out, but acts friendly towards the people who work there sort of, so hes just trapped in the shelter for months??

Long enough for Tony cat to get his warrior name. Maybe Steve cat does get adopted, and that's how he is found. He's not sure how long it's been since he was captured and he still has no idea what happened to bucky cat, and he feels guilty.

The twolegs who adopted him have a yard but they dont let him out into it, they have a screened in porch where he spends his time staring out at the forest over the fence. And then one day a group of cats leap over the fence into the yard away from yipping dogs one yard over, and Steve cat scrambles to his paws. The scent... could it be?

He isnt sure, he doesnt recognize them (they've changed and so has he!) And they dont quite recognize him at first, but as they approach theres recognition. Its Steve cat! And Steve realizes its Tony catches hes actually a warrior! Hes birdclan now! And those are Steve cat's classmates! That is birdclan scent! They're separated by the screen but they greet each other joyfully and have a million questions.

They work out a plan to get Steve out of the screened in porch (he was feeling too depressed/unhappy/guilty to try, before, and it is a strong material) and it works eventually. They do the cat equivalent of hugging and then get a move on. They got help from a kittypet on how to get out or maybe Tony knows because he found his way out to the forest and this is his area of the twolegplace (more residential area than the area where Steve and bucky were separated)

anyway so they make their way out of the twolegplace, though Steve has been trying to look for bucky the whole time and becomes more and more disheartened as they go. Those cats were vicious, moreso than their battles with snakeclan usually, and Steve cat fears bucky cat is lost to them.... and uhh.

Anyway so they go back to the clan together and things are good and fairly peaceful and they do fight snakeclan for or over territory, etc normal warriors stuff. (But their little group of warriors becomes known as the avengers). Some normal cross clan romance drama in the background probably. And uh Steve and Tony are falling in love and pining for each other. That's a major thing!

They're dumbos for all the usual reasons basically. They probably eventually become mates and later adopt orphaned kits or something. They definitely both mentor apprentices. Steve eventually becomes leader and Tony his deputy of course.

Uhh at some pt Steve falls into a sinkhole during a battle and everyone thinks he died and Tony doesmt believe it and wont go to get 9 lives but he does make Carol his temporary deputy and act as stand in leader. Some of the clan who never liked him think he's behind what happened to Steve this time.

Eventually Steve claws his way back out and is like im not dead! And also dont blame Tony it was that redclaw, he tried to kill him and then Steve fell. snakeclan need to do something about that cat. Idk. Stuff!! Drama!! Okay!!

[paleiido]

Nawt answering these individually , now let's go. Unless people have pertinent things to say probs not going to answer more of these. peace and love

I'm not attacking anyone?? Idk why you and others think I'm like. targeting specific authors or anything, I'm really not. Like It was a post on MY personal blog.. Could I have worded it better? Probably? But it was a spur of moment text post on my little blog so idek what to tell u!

I don't want a game that caters to me? I'm not asking anyone to change their game for me, I was merely making an observation, something frustrating that my friends and i realized after talking about it.

Yeah ? Im not in their heads I know that, but when the standard we live in is skinny white, if it's not mentioned somewhere , how do we know they're anything but that?? Can I make research? Yes. Should I have to , to even know if a character is fat? No.

And Even then, most don't even say 'fat' because its considered bad?? And they'll avoid at all cost to say it , since we're not attractive for people .

Putting these together, It wasn't a vague at anyone, it's a problem at LARGE, and I didn't write it with the intent to target anyone nor did I have anyone in mind. Like there's no chain email list for that, and if i do message authors personally it make it seems like i have a problem with how they handled their own stories and I don't. It was really just a frustrating realizations for me and my friends .

Some people have said titles in the tags so I'll include them but like there's some i haven't played or have never seen so I can't say much ??

So titles that were mentionned: • Body Count (Florrie) • Blood Moon (Shawnie)

• Creature such as we • Greenwarden (Devin)

• Mind Games Trepidation (?)

There may be a list on https://interact-if.tumblr.com/ I tried searching but tumblr searching function, we all know how it is 😐

[hikari-writes]

『Haikyuu!!』

Fluff Headcanons

Pocky Day Special

↬ Playing pocky game with them

Pairing: Yamaguchi Tadashi, Akaashi Keiji & Yaku Morisuke

Warning: Tiiny bit of swearing and tooth rotting fluff 🥺🥺

Genre: FLOOOOOOOOOF

Words: 2.6k

Note:

- GN!Reader

Taglist: @ssucrose @laylahoran @whootwhoot @mirakeul @sunacity @hajibee @luv4kiyoomi @tamaguchi @cadenceh2o @yamagucji @ynainnit @tsukisemi [Join my taglist here!]

A/N: i know im 2 days late,, but whatever, better late than never >:( and you bet i did research on the pocky flavours for this 😎😎 and yes, i may say this is pretty self indulgent since theyre all my husbandos but shuuussh 🙄🙄 this got longer as it progressed and idek why--- istg its not bc of favouritism or anything okay 😣😣

↬ Yamaguchi Tadashi

『Cookies & Cream flavoured Pocky』

➳ It wasn't such a bad idea to play around once in a while

➳ So you bought a pack of Cookies and Cream pocky to play with Yamaguchi

➳ He wasn't too big on the idea at first, since you two are just FRIENDS after all

➳ Not for long though 

➳ But you managed to convince him, saying that it'll be fun and stuff

➳ He reluctantly gave in eventually

➳ You gave him the advantage of biting his end first, and you scooted closer to bite yours 

➳ When I tell you you could feel the heat radiating from his face

➳ The both of you started the game after you counted to three

➳ You started off pretty slowly, then you sped up after noticing Yamaguchi's pace slowing down

➳ You were nearing the middle of the pocky, when all of a sudden Yamaguchi picked up the pace and reached the middle of the pocky

➳ But he didn't stop there

➳ Instead of moving away and claiming his victory, he continued biting until he reached your lips

➳ You were shocked, obviously, so you just sat there and stared at Yamaguchi's closed eyes as he continued to kiss you

➳ After what felt like an eternity, he finally pulled away and looked at you. As soon as he noticed you're a blushing mess, a small smirk formed on his face

➳ “Well, wasn't that fun?”

➳ Your blush darkened and you narrowed your eyes at him

➳ “You sly little….”

➳ “You should've expected that coming though~”

➳ “Well, you sped up all of a sudden!! How was I supposed to see that coming?!”

➳ You grabbed the pocky box and took another stick out

➳ “Let's do it again. I won't lose this time.”

➳ Let's just say that this went on for a pretty long time and at the end of the day, you decided it'd be best to just confess your feelings to him 

➳ (Which was also "coincidentally" the sole reason you wanted to play a pocky game with him)

↬ Akaashi Keiji

『Matcha flavoured Pocky』

➳ Unlike the matcha pocky, your first kiss with your boyfriend was, minty 

➳ You and Akaashi just started going out and one day, during a sleepover that was held at Bokuto's house, all of you decided to play pocky game since it was the 11th of November 

➳ Of course, as a new (and also the only) couple in the group, the both of you were targeted as the ones to play the game first 

➳ You felt a bit conflicted about this matter. Of course, it would be a dream come true to get to kiss Akaashi (who would even let that chance slip by) but you're also not sure if you wanted your first kiss to be because of a party game

➳ Akaashi noticed your reluctance and figured that you might not be ready to kiss him yet, since you two just started dating after all 

➳ (Not gonna lie, he was pretty dejected but he valued your feelings first and foremost like the gentleman he is so he won't force you if you don't want to.)

➳ “I'm sorry, but can we pass this one up? I don't think L/N is ready to--”

➳ “We'll do it!! I mean-- I'll do it! I'm totally okay with doing it!”

➳ You quickly interrupted Akaashi and grabbed the Matcha pocky box from the table before taking one pocky stick out

➳ “L-let's do this…”

➳ You bit one end of the pocky and moved closer to Akaashi to make it easier for him to bite his side of the end

➳ Kaori and Bokuto both whistled at your boldness which made you blush even harder. Akaashi sent a silent glare their way in an attempt to make them shut up, to which they did (but not without smirking and grinning like cats at the sight of you and Akaashi)

➳ The game started and you could feel everyone's stares digging a hole inside you

➳ The two of you started at a pretty slow pace, and it felt like the pocky was kilometres long given how long it took for you to reach the middle

➳ As the both of your faces started to get closer, your heart thumped louder and louder, making you worried that Akaashi would hear it

➳ You took a glance at his face, and just as you did, almost as if he noticed your glance, he looked back at you

➳ Seeing Akaashi's beautiful eyes staring back at yours in such close proximity made your brain stopped working for a moment and in a state of panic, you accidentally snapped the pocky in two and stumbled backwards 

➳ Akaashi blinked in confusion at the whole situation, which just made your brain short circuited and steams started to escape from your ears

➳ You became a stuttering mess and you couldn't sit back up until Akaashi held out a hand to help you

➳ As soon as you got to sit up straight again, you immediately buried your face in his chest and murmured “It's my lost….”.

➳ Akaashi finished biting the leftover pocky and held you closer to him

➳ “That was a good game,” he whispered back

➳ Everyone started to give you two lovebirds teasing grins and laughs 

➳ The game continued with you still buried in Akaashi's chest, with you occasionally giving curious glances to see exactly what was happening

➳ After some time, everyone started to get sleepy and decided that it was time to sleep

➳ After what just happened, you honestly didn't really feel like sleeping

➳ So instead you whispered Akaashi's name and gestured for him to come closer after you two were ready to lay down on the futon

➳ “What is it, L/N?”

➳ He came closer to you but was surprised when you suddenly pulled the collar of his shirt and tiptoed just enough to reach his face before planting a kiss on his lips

➳ The kiss smelled and tasted a bit like mint, since you two just brushed your teeth and all, but you honestly weren't complaining at all. It was refreshing 

➳ Right after you parted your lips, you tried to look at him straight in the eyes (keyword: tried) and explained your actions

➳ “S-sorry I suddenly snapped the pocky….it was an accident...well, kind of. Besides that, I wanted our first kiss to be special so uhm…”

➳ Akaashi understood your intention now and he couldn't help but to give a soft chuckle at your flustered self

➳ “W-what's so funny??”

➳ “Nothing, it's just…..you were too cute so…”

➳ You silently screamed at him and lightly punched his arm as he continued chuckling. The both of you were still careful so as to not make any noise and wake up the others though

➳ (Kind of useless though since they were just pretending to sleep and already witnessed your lovey-dovey couple moments)

↬ Yaku Morisuke

『Tsubu Tsubu Strawberry flavoured Heart Shaped Pocky』

➳ It all started with a stupid dare by Kuroo 

➳ Of course, how could you chicken out and refuse if that was the case?

➳ Apparently, Kuroo’s older sister bought too many boxes of pocky and gave him some. He thought of sharing them with the team and brought them to school

➳ After practice was done, however, he got a brilliant idea

➳ He distributed the boxes to everyone but when he got to you, he got a different way to give them

➳ “Here you go, Y/N. A heart shaped pocky, special just for you, the manager. Tsubu tsubu strawberry flavoured.”

➳ “Oh, I’ve seen this type of pocky on the internet before. They look so cute! But I didn’t manage to find them anywhere. Thanks--”

➳ Just as you were about to take the box from him, he retreated back his hand and held the box higher and out of reach from you 

➳ You looked at him with visible confusion, and he smirked down at you

➳ “Well, this is a special type of pocky you know? It feels like a waste to just give it to you like that.”

➳ “Didn’t you say that I got the special one because I’m the manager?”

➳ You’re starting to get annoyed at his attitude but you tried to cover it up with a forced smile

➳ “Still, this is the only heart shaped pocky I got from my sister…..Hmmm what should I do~?”

➳ You tried to grab the box from him, but he only held the box higher and on top of that, used his other hand to push your face away from him

➳ You finally ran out of patience and started to go full on feral mode at him

➳ “KUROO TETSUROU JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN POCKY!!”

➳ This is why no one messed with you regarding the subject of candies and sweets

➳ It was quite a scene, and Kai had to step in to ease the fight

➳ Kuroo finally lowered his arms and you took that as an opportunity to snatch the pocky box 

➳ But he used the same trick again and moved his arms away before you could reach it

➳ “I’ll give you the pocky, under one condition.”

➳ You looked at him with extreme irritation. His name’s going to be in your blacklist for sure now

➳ “What?” You said, rather begrudgingly.

➳ Kuroo smirked in victory. He turned away from you and faced the direction Yaku was in.

➳ “Yakkun! Come here for a sec!”

➳ Your heart literally jumped out of your chest at that moment. Kuroo’s planning something, and whatever it was, you’re not gonna like it

➳ “So here’s the thing. I’ll give you the pocky, but only after you complete a pocky game, with Yakkun. How’s that?”

➳ Your face turned dark red at his proposal. 

➳ “Are you crazy?! There’s no way I’ll do that!”

➳ You whisper yelled at him so as to not raise any suspicion from Yaku.

➳ “And why won’t you, hmm?”

➳ Seeing his teasing grin and narrowed eyes, you knew at that moment, that Kuroo knew of your crush on Yaku. 

➳ “W-what-- how do you--? Don’t tell me you knew?” 

➳ “Knew what? Are you hiding something perhaps?”

➳ You gritted your teeth in frustration. Oh, he knew alright. And he’s gonna pretend as if he doesn’t

➳ “Whatever, and why should I even do this?”

➳ “To get your desired special heart shaped tsubu tsubu strawberry flavoured pocky?”

➳ Phew that was a mouthful

➳ He swung the pocky box in front of you, tempting you even more

➳ Just as you were about to agree to play the game, a realization struck you

➳ “Ha! Nice try there, Kuroo. What makes you think Yaku would even want to play this game with me?”

➳ “Play what game?” 

➳ You literally jumped from your position in shock when Yaku’s voice suddenly came up behind you, earning a snicker from Kuroo

➳ “I dared Y/N to play a pocky game with you, and if they did, they’ll receive this special pocky as a prize.”

➳ You internally screamed and tried to keep yourself from murdering this rooster head but Yaku’s unexpected reaction made you forget about the murderous instinct for a moment

➳ “Oh, okay. Sure, let’s play it then.”

➳ “W-wait, are you really, REALLY sure you wanna play it with me??”

➳ “I don’t see anything wrong with that. Besides, you’ve helped us -me especially- a lot by being our manager already. Helping you with something this trivial is the least I can do.”

➳ You tried to hide the blush that was creeping up your face and Kuroo, noticing your heating face immediately nudged your arm while displaying a much wider grin than before

➳ You excused yourself for a moment and took out your phone before googling “Can you stay friends with someone you just kissed?” in the case of you two kissing after the pocky game

➳ “Well then, here you go. I’ll give you mine since I still have some more at home.”

➳ Yaku took the box of pocky from Kuroo after he fished it out from his bag and opened the packaging. He took one out and bit the end without the coating

➳ Noticing that Yaku's ready for the game, you put back your phone inside your uniform pocket. You gulped once and tried to calm your nerves as you moved closer to him to bite your side of the pocky

➳ When you scooted closer to him however, he didn’t notice your presence until you were directly in front of him and biting the pocky with a heavy blush on your face

➳ Yaku stared at you with his wide, brown eyes for a moment before snapping the pocky into two out of reflex and fell on his back

➳ All of the others stared in shock at Yaku who’s now on the floor, covering his face with one hand. It was pretty obvious that he was blushing, even if he tried to hide it. His reddening ears gave it all away

➳ “Yaku, what’s wrong?”

➳ Kai was the first to break the silence. You were still shocked at his overreaction so you were just standing there with the half broken piece of pocky still in your mouth

➳ “Wait--I-- I just--- Uhm--- I thought we were playing a pocky game???”

➳ You had probably never seen Yaku this flustered before in your entire life. It was certainly a sight to see, but it just made your blush grew darker on your face

➳ “And you were….Wait, don’t tell me, you don’t know how a pocky game works?”

➳ Kuroo guessed with a snap of his fingers, as if he just made a great discovery

➳ “Don’t each person just take a pocky for themselves and it’s a game where you compete on who can finish their pocky first?”

➳ Kuroo covered his mouth to prevent any laugh from escaping and your soul had probably left your body at this point. The second-hand embarrassment you were feeling was no joke

➳ Kuroo tried to explain the rules of the game to Yaku, which just ended up making the libero blush even harder than before

➳ “Who even invented this game….”

➳ He whispered underneath his breath after Kuroo’s explanation. He looked at you who were surrounded by the first years poking their fingers at your arms and asking, “Are they dead?” with a troubled sigh

➳ “Okay….let’s do this again.”

➳ He finally got up and took out another pocky stick. Your soul finally returned to your body when he was in front of you and holding out the pocky with his mouth 

➳ “It’s okay if you don’t want to do it, Yaku! I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything….”

➳ Yaku silenced you by grabbing both your shoulders firmly, but not so much with force, as if he’s treating a fragile thing

➳ “It’s okay. I really don’t mind if I’m playing this... with you.”

➳ You bit the other side of the pocky and tried to focus on eating without thinking too much on what he just said, which just ended up in a total failure by the way

➳ The both of you went on a steady pace but when you finally almost reached the middle of the pocky, you both simultaneously stopped and stared down awkwardly, trying to avoid eye contact with one another

➳ Many thoughts ran through the both of your heads, and all of it were more or less the same

➳ “What if I accidentally kissed him/them? He/they probably wouldn’t like that….”

➳ “He/they would probably even hate me if that happened…..”

➳ After several seconds had passed, you two finally decided to continue biting on the pocky. And simultaneously once again, might I add

➳ This just resulted in the both of your lips to brush against one another in the end, and you swore your heart just escaped from your chest when you felt the sensation of Yaku’s lips brushing against yours

➳ You and Yaku both moved and turned away from one another, too embarrassed to face the other

➳ “Well, you’ve cleared the dare, so here’s your prize.”

➳ Kuroo casually put the box of pocky on top of your head and left the gym to head back home, followed by the others, intentionally leaving you and Yaku alone in the gym

➳ Okay, maybe you can at least lift Kuroo’s name from your blacklist after this. After all, he did help you get closer to your crush…..kinda

[sexxxpai]

Stayed awake all night reading a 127k fanfiction only to find out the last two chapters are being withheld from the public....whyyyyy

[kabbalistic-anarchistic]

No. I'm not. Highly unlikely. Probably someone close to me, or a family member. But its been intense this time around, its been 4 days of pure agony. My cleanses aren't working, neither has anything else I've tried (protection, calm and a witch bottle) the feelings go away a bit, and then come back worse. I can feel people grabbing me. I don't know if something is trying to tell me something, my tarot is being wierd. Idek. Please help

Oh my! My first recommendation would be a spiritual cleansing bath! Try to wash away as much of the negativity as possible!! Create a calming and cleansed environment both physically and spiritually. I would recommend burning some Palo Santo, and trying to meditate. If you cant fight these feelings maybe try to find a way to harness your abilities so you can work with them instead of letting them take over and harm you! I know as difficult as it may sound you need to try and remain calm and stress free. Frustration, stress, sadness and anger will only feed into these forces that are causing you anguish. Perhaps they stepping back from the tarot cards for now, it may be a good time to try and work with a pendulum for now to give you some more definitive answers. Please, any fellow witches with advice on this subject who may know more than I do, offer any assistance you can! And my inbox is always open for private messages!

[lexpistachio]

Hey, I'm going to apologize now for coming into your inbox to rant, but omg, the me check please update frustrates me so much. Like the whole way jack and bitty getting together has fixed all their problems is so unrealistic. Promoting the idea that romantic relationships, even good, supportive ones, will magically make you able to perfectly deal with all your mental health problems is honestly kind of damaging. I understand people like cp because it portrays an ideal.

2/? But honestly that ideal has gotten so far away from reality that it seems completely unachievable. And that just makes me feel really bitter and hopeless. And maybe that's only me. But I'm just so tired of people saying that cp is the perfect, holy grail representation of queer people with mental illness because it's not.

I think Jack's main arc so far has been learning to open up to people about his issues, the problem is that the story just has him do this without focusing on the conflict that caused the issue or showing the progression. Like last update Jack learned to seek help from Bitty during anxiety attacks. The problem is he just does this without hesitation. We are TOLD he usually handles them alone not shown and we don't get to see his thought process as he makes the choice to try something new

All the really interesting things about the character arc happen off screen and again an arc doesn't really mean anything without conflict. If Jack's arc is to talk to people and the only thing we see is him talking to people and things going great it isn't interesting. This is especially true when the audience has no reason to believe any interaction won't go great. The arc lacks struggle and any sort of threat so there just isn't any tension.

I just wanna post this w/o comment. I couldn’t have worded it better myself.

But wait, is it still considered as an ideal portrayal of queer people with mental illness? There’s an argument to be made how it’s an aspirational piece of fiction, but that’s hardly the case when those issues were there in the first place but you refuse to make a proper exploration out of them by making flawed, easy fixes. This isn’t a case for making your queer characters suffering needlessly but at least acknowledging facets to them that make them complex and relatable. Reading CP thus far has given quick solutions to the issues presented therein: like how coming out has been a sort of panacea to their relationship issues, never mind that there are issues in their relationship that needs to be addressed, imo. And you’re CORRECT in saying how flawed and damaging its portrayal is of mental illness, if the only thing we’re seeing is boy with anxiety + boyfriend = anxiety at bay. I’m like, really? That’s what you’re going with? It’s annoying to read for how blandly basic those writing choices were and makes you think what kind of privilege a person has to dismiss real people’s struggles as unnecessary and uninteresting to write about? idek i’m pissed

And how was it even considered a legit character arc for Jack when he has nothing to overcome? Show, not tell is a thing, folks. The “alone” comment he made hardly even registered to me, because that’s not a thing we’ve seen (apart from, what, once?), that’s not a thing that made an impact to me because--you’re right--there was no thought process shown for him to have arrived to that decision of opening himself up. Instant gratification all around, except it was hardly gratifying at all if you love a good story that resolves its conflicts (or has any conflicts to resolve at all).

[dapperfvck-arc]

🔥 The TV show... (Because I really want to know exactly why you don't like it [or hate it?] because i'm so freaking curious. Also I think in general a Constantine TV show would do best on AMC rather than NBC... FEEL FREE TO COMPLETELY RANT. I WANT TO KNOW. Please.)

Unpopular Opinion Time!

Oh boy. Hooooo boy. I’m still going to be relatively gentle, because honestly, I’m saving my true vitriol for the times that I must defend my choice not to RP it or for the hysterical consensus opinion from the fandom that TV show was an improvement over the film (lol nope, aside from Matt Ryan “looking the part” but that’s a whole other can of worms). 

Note: Cut for length and maybe a bit of brutality in my honesty.

*sighs* Ok, I’ll first preface this with that I still have like four episodes to go. Obviously, I have massive issues in the needless changes made to the adaption of comic canon. It was unnecessary to make Chas American while retaining the fact that he’s John’s oldest and best of friends. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, but who knows. Maybe it’s explained a little better in one of the last few episodes, but you know. My hopes aren’t high. I don’t like Chas’s virtual invulnerability, not just because it takes away the stakes of the danger he’s putting himself in, but also? It’s a plot device scarcely used? So why make that choice if it’s not going to be capitalized on with meaningful frequency? I hated that Zed was portrayed as a novice, and that the teeth were taken out from the Newcastle Incident. Now obviously, I understand why they’d have to alter a bit of it due to Network censorship, but at the same??? I mean child abuse and sexual violence are nothing new on shows like Law and Order: SVU and Criminal minds so…Idek, it kind of comes off as an excuse. It’s not a child’s show. Maybe it could be argued that it was marketed toward teenagers, but it’s not like they’re ignorant to those horrors in the world. I’m not asking them to show Astra’s rape, just to acknowledge the true horror of the situation instead of making it all about John’s failure. So yeah, I was annoyed by the occasional attempt to adapt source material and completely mucking it all up.

Now to begin with, I completely get the SP/N’s fandom bitterness more than ever. Before watching it I thought they were just trying to be like “whaaaat, another show about magic and exorcism? Of course it’s a ripoff because don’t you know our fandom invented those things?” I honestly believe the crux of the issue is that NBC clearly wanted their own SP/N as well as to cash in the popularity of comic book based media, so there’s that. To me, it comes off as a shameless cash grab. I honestly believe if I felt like there was some kind of passion from its creators, I could have dealt with some of those changes, but I don’t get that. It’s been a soulless experience overall. Like it’s not been a matter of me nitpicking like “oh this is wrong, this has been changed, boo hoo, it’s not all existential horror and fucking and drugs.”

Because frankly...I just think it’s a bad show. It’s poorly written, poorly made, poorly researched, poorly acted, it’s just bad. The main issue I have with it is that it’s a lot of telling and not showing. There’s not a lot of tension or foreshadowing, just “boom this is how it is” and so much exposition. John, for example, about half of his dialogue in any given show is verbal exposition. It’s frustrating, tbh. Like, it doesn’t make sense for me in this day and age for a TV show, even on a network channel, to be this bad. Over the past several years, television series have improved exponentially in content and writing. It’s not shameful anymore to start off on TV anymore. We’re in a very exciting time that television and cinema are almost completely on equal par of perceived quality. So yeah, it’s been an even greater disappointment for me because it’s not just that they fuck with the source material but because on top of that it’s literally a bad show. I’m not one bit surprised that it wasn’t renewed because there just...Isn’t enough to like about it. It’s not faithful enough to the comic to secure that base of fans and it’s not good enough to be taken for face value. 

The other massive issue I have is the portrayal of magic, which honestly extends to DC’s handling of Hellblazer and John as well. See, what you have to understand is that predominately, throughout the Vertigo series, it’s clear to me that most of its writers either have some awareness of how magic works or at least have done their research. I can follow the logic and ritual in what he’s doing. ​Let me tell you a little something about magic. It's all about focus and will. You can do and say whatever the hell you want as long as you're putting your intent behind it. The ritual of spell work, use of candles, crystals, incense, chanting, incantations, etc. are meant to be the focus of a magician's energy and will on a particular result, but it could be attempted without as well. To explain it in more fantastical terms, in Harry Potter casting without a wand is considered impressive. This implies that the wizard's focus and will is so strong that they no longer need a wand to draw out their intent. Now I get it. By this understanding magic doesn't make good TV viewing (I guess...), but my main concern with this series is there's no attempt to portray an iota of witchcraft's reality along with the fantastical. Now part of this problem is that they've removed a great deal of John's innate ability. He can no longer see spirits/ghosts and there is no mention to his connection to synchronicity (as far I’ve seen, mind). Instead of happening to end up where he needs to be or what have you, he's following a map, and he uses a lot of artifacts and other implementation to get the job done. Which bothers me on a few levels. For one, it imbues the focus, not the caster with the power, which is not how magic works (at least in the sense of portraying gritty urban fantasy), and for two, it's very much against character. Let me give you an example: In the two part story Newcastle Calling, at the end of it, John hands a dying man a twig, telling him it's the finger bone of St. Cavartigan and that it's known to bring relief to those in need. He tells him to squeeze it tightly and focus on the pain going away. Near the end of the scene, the young man tells John that it's working. A couple things can be taken away from this scene: John's will was that the dying man would believe as he was told and his instructions were rote ritual. By contrast, in the series, John would probably had actually given him a Saint's fingerbone. You see the comparison takes the power of the scene away, as well as the mystery. Is the power of John's suggestion so strong that he could make the guy believe by holding that twig his pain would do away? Or was he so desperate to believe in order to not die in pain? You can interpret it either way. Hell, I could invent other interpretations, but going by what I believe would happen in the show, it can only be interpreted in the most literal sense. Now, to be honest, most television shows portray magic poorly. Even movies do a better job while keeping fantastical elements. The Craft, for all it’s 90s cheese, is a great example of this. So I suppose I could be blamed for getting my hopes up to be dashed because it’s just following the formula of 95% of all TV shows that feature a magical element or theme, but I mean...it’s not like Buffy or Charmed that was working without a script, so to speak. The TV series had a ready made blueprint and still chose to take the mumbo-jumbo bullshit route. Now, I have a lot of theories on the why for this, but that’s another post altogether and this has already gone on for way too long and I still have more to say.

Now, I guess I should, at least briefly, touch on the elephant in the room: Matt Ryan as John. What did I think? Because a lot of people have told me that he’s the shining beacon of this show, even literally admitting that yeah, it’s a poor representation of Hellblazer but that Matt Ryan man, he’s great! The problem that I have is that it’s not a good a show, and so no, I don’t like him in the role. I’m not going to compare him to Keanu because that’s not fair for a number of reasons, and maybe I’m a little biased because I adore Keanu (there’s also that can of worms I mentioned earlier, which is honestly yet another separate post lol). The way John’s written for this show, he’s positively insufferable. He’s not charming at all, which is find the most offensive, because one thing that can be said across all series and iterations of the character is that John is magnetic even despite xyz (he’s dangerous, he can be an asshole, he’s unreliable, etc.). Here he’s just a know-it-all, condescending prick. Now I do think with better writing, in a better representation of John’s character and Hellblazer in general (and maybe with a voice coach or director to discourage that Welshy intonation because yeah, his accent does irritate the shit out of me, but I’ve been very vocal about that before and honestly, at this point, I’ve come to realize that Ryan’s vowels are the least of this show’s problem), I think he has potential to be a fine John. As it stands in the media he’s portrayed John in so far (idk, maybe he was good on Arrow, but I’m talking the TV Series here and the JLD animation, which I’ve admittedly not seen, but I hated the comic so I’m not real likely to give that a chance considering my disposition toward the source material), I’m not entirely sold on him. Like if they tried another TV series for Hellblazer and didn’t cast him in the role, I wouldn’t be upset over it. 

I do agree that it probably could have been better on another channel, but here’s the rub, all the blood and gore and sex and loose censorship in the world could not save that show without better writing and direction. It could have been a fine show even on network if it had been crafted with some degree of caring. Let me give you an example off the top of head, namely the handling of the Newcastle incident. It was laid out pretty plainly within a few episodes. Alterations from canon aside, it doesn’t portray the horror of it at all and is one of the show’s many missed opportunities to really play up the scarier, more mysterious elements of John’s backstory. For example, instead of laying it out in a sloppy flashback with a laughable puppet, picture this scene instead: ​John is having a chat with someone, maybe Zed or Chas or some b-plot character. Something reminds him of the Newcastle incident and he gets a far off look in his eyes. The folly drops away to an eerie silence as the camera comes in tight on John's expression. Filling up the silence is a little girl's scream, then the voices of his friends, perhaps some sounds of violence, an inhuman sound or voice, it all blends together to become a hellish cacophony of sound as John's expression becomes more strained. Then suddenly the other person calling his name snaps him out of his reverie. The screams stop, the folly returns, and the scene appears jarringly normal. John shakes his head, makes a joke, and they move on. Yeah, that kind of scene has been done before, but the reason for that is it’s effective without giving away the whole story. It shows that this is a man haunted by something horrible. It’s also cheap and doesn’t necessitate straining the no doubt thin budget of a TV show that has yet to prove itself worthy of having more money thrown at it. 

Honestly, the issues I have with this show are innumerable and I’m just scratching the surface here and laying out my biggest problems. I could nitpick for days, and that’s the reason I’ve stayed mum about my opinions. There are people that follow me and that I write with that really like and care about the show, and I don’t want to make them feel...you know, bad about it or that they can’t talk to me or whatever. You know, if they found it enjoyable more power to them. I just didn’t and that’s maybe on me. By no means am I trying to bash the show here (because lord if I wanted to, I could), but to offer up what was requested, and that’s my undiluted opinions and feelings about the series. Of course I’m sorry that I couldn’t share the joy and that I couldn’t even like it on a similar level that I do the film (as a very solid AU, which people have tried to sell the show as to me, knowing my previous understanding of some of the changes made that deviate strongly from canon. As I said, maybe if it had been better made and written, I could, but as it stands currently, I can’t and unless real changes are made in the future, I’m unlikely to alter my opinion of it).

So yeah that’s it. Apologies that this got so very long, but as you can tell, there’s been a lot that I’ve been holding back.