#idk i feel like our bantery dynamic is really great and straddles the line between affection and just annoying each other well
Text
I'm gonna ruin this because I don't know how to be normal about having a crush unless I'm high apparently
#carmina posting#lover posting#i want to text her so bad right now and i KNOW what a bad idea that is#bc im gonna look clingy#and apparently one of my friends briefly dated her and like shes skittish about affection and like#idk i feel like our bantery dynamic is really great and straddles the line between affection and just annoying each other well#but like what if she feels differently#her life is falling apart a bit and i dont wanna add stress#but i actually legitimately really like her and like#honestly im definitely spiraling a bit rn and i know that#but idk when I'll see her again#and im like... having this awful sinking feeling that thats bc im not going to#bc she's not actually into me and like she is just annoyed by me#so all i wanna do rn is text her and invite her over for tomorrow night but like.#i am forcing myself not to text until she texts first#and BEFORE we did shit she was often texting first so i have to hope she will again#but i feel very scared and broken and alone rn#and i also am afraid of driving away ny friends by bothering them too much#so like im just alone about this#im crying in the dark in my room listening to music and it occurs to me that i should probably only be listening to music#that already is crying music for me tbh#so i dont ruin something else i love for myself#what the fuck is wrong with me
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