#idk if anyone else has already made this joke or not i only logged in for the first time in months for this

[voloswag]

volo when you tickle his fancy

[lilysdaydreams]

The Artist and The Musician

→  I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don’t think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.

→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader

→ Genre: Fluff.

→ Words: 5.6k

→ Request:  Hey! It’s me again lmao I was curious maybe like sykunno or raes little sister (like 2 or 3 years younger) meets the group and her and corpse just click. How would either of them react to them hearing the news that their little sis is dating corpse and like they’ve moved in together and everything idk I thought it’d be cute💛

→ Warnings: Swearing.

→ Authors Note: Its been a hard couple of weeks and im really sorry that this took so long to be done but depression rlly hit me and I could barely move myself. I hope you enjoy this, and if you do, please comment some words of encouragement or feedback 💛

→  if you have some spare change , consider buying me a coffee.

You sighed as you finally dropped the last box in your new room, stretching to get rid of the pains in your back. Grabbing your phone, you moved over to Sykkunos room, knocking before sticking your head in.

"You want subway?" you asked when he looked up from the computer. He nodded with a quick smile, and as you closed the door behind you, you could hear him talking to the stream, letting them know that it was just his sister. Quickly ordering on Ubereats, you slumped on the sofa, closing your eyes and resting for a bit.

You had decided to move in with Sykkuno a month ago, the same week you'd decided to drop out of college. It wasn't something your parents were happy with, but after seeing how big your art and business had gotten, they had let you drop out. You'd dropped out and moved to LA, moving into an apartment with Sykkuno since he had to leave the OTV house. Sykkuno had moved in a week earlier which was why his room and computer was all set up. You'd only moved in today, spending a few weeks at home with your parents before leaving for LA. Stretching, you grabbed your phone, checking how long it would be until the food came, and then clicking on Instagram. Your most recent post was of this morning, a photo of you sitting on top of half the boxes in your room, throwing a peace sign at the camera. Sykkuno had taken it for you, the whole process taking 10 minutes cuz you made him take it at 45 different angles. Scrolling through the comments, you liked a few, replying to the ones by your best friends.

@selinaissss: "HOW DARE YOU LOOK THIS PERFECT AT 8 IN THE MORNING????"

→ @junefarie: i look like a racoon dont u dare

@onlyalyssa: "we need a house tour"

→ @junefarie: bitch I dont even have a bed yet

You grabbed the subway order when the bell rang, saying a quick thank you to the delivery man. You left yours on the table, and went to Sykkunos room, yelling "Sykkuno catch!" before throwing it at him, giggling as he leapt forward from his chair to catch it. Closing the door softly behind you, you jumped onto the couch, sitting cross-legged, grabbing your sketchbook and pencils from your backpack and setting them on your lap. It was time to wind down a bit.

~

It was a week later and you had unpacked fully, now focusing more on creating new pieces of art for a shop update. You were also working on some designs specifically for shirts and hoodies. Sykkuno found you in front of your computer, blanket wrapped around you and glasses perched on your nose as you emailed the manufacturer you were working with for the hoodies.

"Un, y/n?" he said hesitantly knocking on the door. You spun around in your chair, raising your eyebrows at him. "What's up?"

He walked in, sitting down gingerly on the edge of the bed and you got your water from the table, taking a sip as you wait for him to talk.

"I um- You know how I- I play Among Us right?" he asked, scratching his neck.

You hummed in response, urging him on with a nod. Sykkuno was almost never this nervous around you. Most of the time, you guys talked normally, joking and teasing each other. For him to be stuttering around you, he must have been extremely nervous.

"Well, you know Rae right? She um, she asked me to make a lobby," he said, standing up and pacing now. You furrowed your brows, confused as to where this was going.

He was explaining what a lobby was (which what the fuck, you watched his streams, of course you knew what a lobby was, why was he explaining that) when you cut him off, getting up and grabbing his shoulders to stop him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked, holding his shoulders with both your hands.

He sighed and slumped into you, his head coming to a rest on your shoulder.

"Rae asked me to make a lobby and it's the first time I've ever made one and I'm really nervous about it. I've already invited people, but um I was wondering if you wanted to join as well? I- It would help me to have you there." he muttered, the words muffled as he spoke into your shoulder.

"Me?" you asked, a little shocked because you had never played among us before.

He nodded against your shoulder.

"Um sure!" you said, wrapping your arms around his middle, "It'll be fun!"

"And hey," you added on when he didn't say anything after that, "I can meet all your friends as well!"

He finally lifted his head a little, smiling as he muttered out a quick "Thanks y/n."

"However," you added, jumping back onto your seat and wiggling your eyebrows at him. "You have to buy me pizza for tonight's dinner."

He chuckled, grabbing his phone and already mutterng the order to himself as he opened up the ubereats app and walked out of the room.

You turned back to the laptop humming a tune under your breath. From interactions like this, most people would probably assume that you were older but the truth was that Sykkuno was 5 years older than you. Your roles were reversed and you were probably more protective over him than anyone else. Once in high school a girl had called him cute and asked him for his number only to write it on the bathroom walls. After the first three prank calls, you'd taken the phone from him yelling at anyone who called that if they called again, that you'd personally track them down and shove a dildo up their ass.

Both of you had always been close, but with the amount of bullying and teasing he got in high school, you'd got even closer, eventually becoming his best friend in a way. Seeing Sykkuno grow as a person, get new friends who were genuinely nice and kind made you the happiest person alive. When Sykkuno had first started streaming you'd been worried, scared that people online would say something mean. When he had first started streaming with other streamers and then met Lily and all his other friends, you had been anxious, worrying that they might only be putting up a friendly facade. You were also the happiest though when he grew even closer to them, when he smiled more, laughed more, talked more.

You had yet to meet or talk to any of his friends, mostly because you'd been in college, and the pandemic had made it harder. Maybe it was finally time.

~

The day came and you sat in your room, once again a blanket wrapped around you, glasses perched on your nose as you accepted the discord invite Sykkuno sent you.

"DO I GO IN THE CHAT THINGY?" you yelled to Sykkuno, hearing a "YES" before clicking on the voice chat.

You mumbled a "hello", wondering if your mic was on.

"Hey, yeah I can hear you y/n."

Breathing a sigh of relief, you logged into the game, smiling as you heard sykkuno introduce you to his chat. "Hi everyone," you said, feeling a bit weird only talking to a screen. You rubbed your hands, a little nervous to be doing this.

Just then someone else joined and before you could even speak another three people joined as well, all of them yelling hello as they joined.

"He- Hey guys, how's everyone doing?" started sykkuno.

"Im doing great oh my god, guess what guys, I'm-" started Rae, cutting herself off. "wait, whos um "ms snores a lot"?

You were a bit confused for a second, furrowing you eyebrows for a second before realising what had happened.

"SYKKUNO YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK?" you yelled, staring at the name underneath the voice channel that you now realised belonged to you. You could hear Sykkunos laughter from the other room but you just spluttered indignantly. He was the one who had set up everything on your computer yesterday because technology was something that you rarely messed around with.

"Sykkunooo" you whined, when he kept laughing, "How the fuck do I change it now?"

"Um wait, sykkuno who is this?" asked Rae, the other three echoing her. You glanced at the names and from the voices figured out that it was Rae, Toast, Sean and Corpse in the lobby.

"Hey okay, so guys this is my sister, her names y/n and we recently moved in together, so I asked her to be in the lobby because... um.." he said stuttering at the end to find a reason.

"Because he wanted to embarrass me apparently!" you exclaimed, giving him a way out.

"Oh god, um - you can change it in settings, at the bottom near where your name is."

"Ahhh," you said finding it and then simply typing in your art business name.

"Its nice to meet everyone by the way," you started. "I've been watching your videos for ages so it almost fels like I already know you"

Raes voice started in your ears and you winced at the volume befoe turning it down a bit.

"I would love to say that Sykkuno has told us a lot about you, but the truth is that he keeps a lot of secrets and I didnt even know he had a sister, I AM SO SHOCKED RIGHT NOW"

You gasped. "Sykkuno what the fuck, you didn't even tell Rae?"

"You told me not to tell a lot of people!" he protested.

You heard someone saying "they're so different!' but you ignored it and kept talking.

"Yeah at the start! and on stream! I can't believe you never even said you had a sister." you spluttered out, followed by another gasp.

"Are you embarrassed of me?" you whispered dramatically.

"N-What no of course not!" he exclaimed, and you could also imagine how wide his eyes would have gotten.

You giggled before telling him that you were only joking.

"Um since sykkuno is embarrassed of me," you said jokingly, "I'll just tell you myself."

"I'm like five years younger than sykkuno, I'm a June baby, I do art, my star sign is cancer, I'm 5'4, I recently moved in with sykkuno, and my favourite colour is purple!"

"Oh is that why your username is junefarie? Because you were born in June?" asked Sean.

Before you could say yes, someone else cut in.

"Wait, junefarie?" asked corpse, "like the artist?"

Your eyes widened as you realised that he knew you. Sure you had quite a few followers, but you never expected any of Sykkunos friends to know you from there.

"Um yeah," you said letting out a shocked laugh, "I didnt expect anyone here to know about me."

"Dude, your art is fire!" he exclaimed, voice louder now. "I was honestly thinking of buying a piece soon, I've followed you for ages!"

"Wait, I wanna see as well." whined Rae, "Ima look you up, are you on Instagram?"

"Um," you said still shocked by the fact that somone this big knew you. "yeah I'm on instagram, its just junefarie." you said first replying to Rae, "Um corpse, thankyou so much! thats so nice of yo!"

"Um my art isn't that great yet," you chuckled, embarrassed by all the attention now. "I'm hoping to improve a lot more and I have a bunch of ideas for it as well. I'm hoping to work more now that I moved in with Sy."

"Oh my god, this is amazing," whispered Rae, Toast and Sean echoing her. You ducked your head even though no one could see you. Your cheeks were blazing hot and you pressed your hands to them to cool yourself down.

"Thankyou," you mumbled, not sure what to say.

Someone else entered the lobby, and said "hi" and you welcomed the source of distraction.

"Hi! I'm Sykkunos sister, y/n!" you said , wanting to move away from the topic of your art.

The reply of "sykkuno has a SISTER?" made everyone laugh, successfully moving the attention to Sykkuno and off your art. Finally Sykkuno started the game and you breathed as you lost yourself in the art of gaming.

"OH MY GOD!" yelled Rae as the game ended and everyone appeared in the lobby. "That was like amazing, Y/N I cant belive you pulled that off!"

She was talking about the last game where there was 50/50 between corpse and Sykkuno (because you refused to kill sykkuno when you were imposter) and you somehow managed to convince Sykkuno that it was Corpse.

"Honestly, neither can I!" you exclaimed back staring at your screen, eyes blurring the screen because of how tired you were.

"I can't believe Sykkuno," mumbled corpse. "I literally said I saw her vent and kill toast and Sykkuno was still like "hmmm, I don't think so."

Giggling at Sykkunos yell of "SHES MY SISTER" you yelled out a bye as everyone started leaving and then struggled to find a way to end the call.

"Wait, how do I end it," you muttered to yourself.

You jumped as Corpse talked, not expecting anyone to be there.

"You can see yoru name at the bottom left right? Its above that but a little to the right." he said chucling a little.

"Oh." you said, you cheeks heating up. You didnt know if it was because of him or because you were utterly useless with technology.

"Um thankyou," you said awkwardly.

"No problem."

You exited out of the call, a small smile at your lips.

Sykkunos friends were nice.

~

After the stream, your fanbase grew, and with it, the number of orders as well. For the next week, you were buried under orders, only leaving the house to go to the post office.

An Instagram post on @junefarie account: 

[ID: A photo of y/n and sykkuno standing in the middle of the living room, packages scattered everywhere. Y/n is hugging Sykkuno tight and Sykkuno is staring at the camera, a distressed look on his face.]

Caption: Thankyou so much for all my supporters and all the love shown to me. Sending out loads of orders and I cant wait for you gusy to get yours! Special thanks to @sykkuno for helping me send out orders. luv yu.

Comments: 

@Sykisacutie: best sibling duo!

@valkyrae: hope my order is in their as well.

→ I SCREAMED WHEN SY TOLD ME THAT WAS YOUR NAME.

@corpse_husband: sykkuno looks like he's accepted death.

→ @sykkuno: I would have welcomed death at that point

→ @corpse_husband @sykkuno: okay ill be honest, I would have welcomed death as well.

@ariesin: go best friend, go! we need to get together to paint soon !!

→ SOONNNNNN

~

You flopped onto your bed, every part of your body hurting. Carrying boxes filled with orders down the stairs had tired your whole body, which wasn't used to any exercise at all. That had taken practically the whole day and then you had to clean your room because the mess from the orders had barely left any room to move. You flung your hand to the side, grabbing your phone from the table and bringing it up to your face. The "1:02" was clearly visible on your screen and you unlocked the phone, heading to Twitter. Scrolling through your feed, you liked a few tweets from friends before gearing yourself up and moving to the messages. Ever since you'd played with Corpse, Sykkuno and everyone, you'd been getting a lot of messages. Most of them were just the streamers fans, asking you if you know them or telling you to take care of sykkuno. There were a few though that targeted you, telling you that your art sucked, that they didn't know why Corpse could like my art. You'd taken to deleting them before sleeping so that your inbox wouldn't get cluttered and you could still find any serious requests or messages from your followers. Therefore, you didn't really think anything of it when there was another message from someone with a Corpse icon and you clicked on it only to see the message and gasp, immediately sitting up in bed.

Corpse_Husband → Hey, I was wondering if I could work with you on something? I really love your art and was wanting to commission or collaborate for an album cover or some merch designs. Message me on this number cuz I barely see my dms.

Underneath was a number.

"Oh my god," you whispered, unsure as to what to do.

When you had decided to drop out of college, you had expected hard days. You had expected your normal orders and mostly just improving your art and marketing it more. You had expected long days and not much money in the bank account. You certainly had not expected the immense amount of orders you'd gotten. Along with that, the amount of love and support had taken you by surprise and you had spent the last night crying because of how much love you and your art were getting.

You had also not expected such a big opportunity just landing at your feet.

Quickly you clicked on the number, putting it in your contacts with the name Corpse and then writing a quick message.

"Hey I got your twitter dm! I've personally never done art for merch or album covers but I would love the opportunity!"

You bit your lip, confused as to whether that was enough before deciding it was fine and just sent it.

Your heart beat a little faster as you slumped back onto the bed.

~

@junefarie Instagram story:

[ID: A zoomed-in picture of a drawing, the only part that was visible was curly hair. The text read: "Working on something SO COOL"]

~

Your phone was ringing. Stuffing the rest of the pizza in your mouth, you swept your hand over the covers of your bed, trying to find it. With a muttered "aha", you grabbed it and swiped on the call before it ended. Pressing the phone to your ear, you mumbled a "hello", still chewing the pizza bite.

A low rapsy voice came out of the speaker, one that you definitely didn't expect. You choked on the pizza, coughing out pieces onto the bed.  Sure you guys had messaged each other a bit (you kinda had to because of the commission), but you hadn't expected him to call out of nowhere.

"Um I hope this isn't a bad time," he said when you didn't respond for a second. Of course, he didn't exactly know that hearing his voice so close to your ear had you frozen for a second.

"Um no," you replied, coughing slightly to clear your throat. "It's fine! What did you wanna talk about?"

"Oh, um I know you're already working on the commission and its looking great! I can't wait to work with the merch team to create something really cool with it, but um-" he broke off for a second sounding hesitant. "I really wanna get another commission done as well."

"Oh?" you said after a second when he didn't reply. "I'd be happy to do another one for you!"

"Uh yeah, but I'm afraid that I might be a bit late, You see I was wondering if it could be done before Christmas?"

You sucked in a breath as you counted the days in your mind.

"Hmm, it depends on how big it is tbh. There's still 2 weeks to go till Christmas so I could fit it in," you mumbled, biting your lip as you remembered the onslaught of orders you still had to send out.

"Well," he started and you smiled a little as the excitement crept into his voice. "You know that Sykkuno, Rae, Toast and me are called the 4 Amigops right? I kinda wanted a portrait of all 4 of us, in our um among us colors, and I basically wanted to print it out and send to each of them for Christmas."

"Aww, that sounds like such a good idea, I'm sure they'll all love it!" you smiled, thinking about how much Sykkuno would appreciate that.

"Uh thanks," he mumbled, "do you think you can get it done?"

"Sure!" you replied immediately. You did have a lot of orders, yes, but like, you could fit Corpse in. If you pulled a few all-nighters. "I'll send you the sketches soon okay?"

"Oh thank god, thankyu so much for this y/n, I really appreciate it. Youre one of my favourite artists and I'm really happy that I could finally commisison you after so long."

"So long?" you questioned. "Since when have you known about my art?"

There was a moment of silence and then "Um, around the time you still posted your sketches and stuff I guess?"

You furrowed your eyebrows thinking for a second before letting out a gasp.

"Corpse that was 4 years ago!"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, oh my god, I cant believe you've seen those, I was so bad then!"

"No no, they were really good at that time as well! I was so shocked when Sykkuno told us you were his sister because like, I'd been following you for ages and I had absolutely no idea. You guys are like really different."

"Hah yah, Sykkunos so soft, and then there's me. An actual devil."

"Your usernames so different as well! I remember when I first saw a picture of you on your account and I was kind of shocked because based on the name junefarie, I was expecting someone very soft I guess but then you were literally the opposite and wearing actual devil horns."

"Oh god, that was one of the first few photos I posted of myself. that was on Halloween I think,", you took a deep breath still shocked that Corpse had known about you for that long,

"Yeah, I chose junefarie because...”

It was 2 hours later when Corpse said that he should probably be working on his music.

"Oh I'm so sorry," you apologized, "I didn't mean to keep you,"

"Oh no, I um, I liked talking to you."

Your breath caught for a moment and you smiled like a lunatic at your Pokémon covered bedsheets.

"I liked talking to you as well," you whispered out, heart sinking a little as you realized the call would be ending soon.

"Um, do you, maybe want to stay on call? like I'll just be writing and we can just chill?" he asked and you felt like your prayers had been answered.

"yes" you said quickly, not giving him a chance to back out.

He chuckled, and you fell in love a little.

Just a little.

~

You continued like that, calling each other every few days, talking so much and then at times, not talking at all, simply content with each others company.

He had even started facetiming you, the first time with a mask and then the second without it. You hadn't made a big deal about it, but the first time you saw him, you could barely breathe.

There were five days left until Christmas when you got the idea.

You were entirely not subtle about it, because, well to be honest, there wasn't a subtle bone in your body.

"Hey Corpse, do you like surprises?" you had asked, in the middle of colouring Raes hair (her hair was the last thing left before you could finally print the goddamn thing)

"It depends," he had murmured after a second, voice sending shivers down your spine like every time. Now whether that was because of his voice or because of him, you weren't entirely sure.

"on what?" you prodded when he refused to answer.

"On whether its a good one or a bad one" he had huffed out.

You had hummed, waited for a second and then blurted out that next question because you did not have a cent of patience.

"So what are you doing at Christmas?"

"Sleeping, if I can manage it," he replied, his voice taking on a sardonic tone, eyes flicking to you on the screen. The only thing he could see though was the top of your head because you had your iPad on the bed and were laying over it as you drew.

"Not with that attitude you aren't," you replied right back, making a small smile appear across his face.

"Hmmm, okay!" you said when he didn't reply.

He looked back over, eyebrows furrowed and mouth opening as he started to question you.

"Hey did you see the video I sent you?" you quickly asked distracting him from his question.

He would probably guess the surprise but that was okay. You only wanted to make a smile appear on his face. And honestly, for someone with anxiety, a small warning of a surprise was definitely needed.

~

It was Christmas day and you woke Sykkuno up at 6 in the morning with the promise that you'd buy him McDonald's. 30 minutes later, you were both in the car, yelling the lyrics to "All I want for Christmas" at the top of your lungs.

You had told sykkuno of your plan a few days ago and he had smiled at you with that stupid smile, agreeing with a small "alright."

You'd immediately realised that he knew. Even though you pretended otherwise, Sykkuno was the older one and the thing about older siblings was that they always knew.

They always knew.

So there you were, snacks loaded into your car, McDonald's fries practically everywhere, and a cake you had made in the backseat, on your way to Corpses house.

There was a lull in the music, and you were only 30 minutes away from his place, butterflies fluttering in your stomach when Sykkuno asked you a question.

"You like him right?" he murmured, head leaning against the window, eyes closed.

There was a moment of silence as you thought about what to say. Did you like Corpse? Of course, you liked Corpse! He was funny, he was nice, he made you feel like you were the only person that mattered and your heart beat faster than ever whenever he looked at you. Hell, that was through a screen, in real life, it would probably be even worse. So of course you liked him! The question was, did he like you back?

"Yeah," you answered Sykkuno, eyes straight on the road.

A second passed and then he smiled. "Good," he replied. and well. That was that. You sighed.

At least you had your brothers blessing.

~

Pulling into the apartment building, you breathed in, your heart beating a million times a second and the butterflies in your stomach had turned into snakes. Maybe, maybe this wasn't a good idea at all. I mean, you expected Corpse to get the hint but what if he didn't? and what if he didn't want you to come? Maybe you were being too quick. After all, It'd only been a month since you'd met.

These thoughts plagued your mind as you trudged up the stairs, turning to Sykkuno as you reached the door.

"Maybe we shouldn't have come," you whispered to him.

He looked at you, eyebrows high, "We just travelled two hours to get here. There's no way im going back without at least giving him the print."

"What if he doesn't want us to be here?" you hissed.

"Then we'll go away." he stated, "after we give him the print."

"But what if-"

Before you could even finish your sentence, the door opened and you both jumped, turning to face the person standing in the doorway.

You forced yourself to breathe as you finally saw him. It was him. Wearing a black beanie, half his hair spilling out the sides, stubble clear on his chin... it was him. At that moment, there was only one thought in your mind.

You were gonna marry this man.

"You suck at whispering," he said, and you huffed out a laugh, jumping onto him without even responding. You wrapped your arms around him, not letting go until Sykkuno cleared his throat from behind you.

You turned back immediately, grabbing the stuff in Sykkunos hands so he could greet Corpse too. As they awkwardly did their handshake/fistbump thing, you walked over to the couch behind them, putting down the print and the takeaway bags, and putting the cakebox down on the table.

You turned around to see them both standing there staring at you.

"Surprise?" you said when no one else spoke. That broke the ice a little and you grabbed the print from the couch thrusting it at Corpse.

"Open it. Open it. Open it." you mumbled, your heart beating fast as he carefully ripped the paper off. The smile that overtook his face made your heart immediately calm.

"It's beautiful," he whispered, eyes roaming everywhere, trying to take it all in. Clearing his throat, he nodded his head further into the apartment, mumbling that he was going to put it in the room, eyes still on the print as he walked there.

"You smile is gonna blind me," muttered Sykkuno.

"Oh shut up."

~

A few hours later, you stood in the kitchen, putting the leftover cake into Corpses fridge. You had all chilled, eating cake and the takeout that you and sykkuno had bought, laughing every few minutes. It felt like you were all on an adrenaline rush. You had facetimed Rae and Toast, Rae shrieking when she realised where you guys were. Sykkuno had just fallen into a nap, still tired from being wakened up so early, you assumed.

You leaned against the kitchen bench, smiling as Corpse walked in.

"Thankyou." he said as he came to a stop next to you, matching your position.

"For what?" you mused, even though you had a good enough idea.

"For the print. For coming here. For making my Christmas, a much happier affair than it has been my whole life." he stated, chuckling at the last point.

You turned your head sideways, and you didn't know what it was, but something about his face made you spurn into action. You grabbed his collar, pulled him down, and kissed him before he could even say anything. It would be too cliche to say that fireworks erupted. And if you were being honest they didn't. Instead, it felt like everything was finally right. You fit perfectly in his arms as they wrapped themselves around you, and you smiled into the kiss as he lifted you up, making you sit at the counter. You twirled the hair at the nape of his neck with your left hand, taking a deep breath in as you both slowed down and pulled away.

"Well," he whispered, "that was unexpected."

You raised a single eyebrow. Honesty you'd done a lot for this relationship. You just drove for nearly 3 hours! If he wanted it to progress, he was gonna have to say it himself.

"But not unwelcome," he continued when you didn't speak. A moment passed, where you could see that he was psyching himself up to say something. Finally, with a heaving sigh, he whispered  "Darling, would you do me the honour of being called yours?"

You melted right there.

A nod was all he needed before he grabbed your lips with his again, both of you giggling when he accidentally hit the side of your mouth instead of the lips.

The sound of a picture being taken filled the air, making you spring apart and swing your heads over to the doorway, which had sykkuno leaning against it, his phone in his hand.

"Thank god. Rae and Toast bet that you wouldn't confess until after Christmas, so now they both owe me 20 bucks." he said, now fiddling on the phone. "Dont worry Corpse, I'll add a circle over your face or something."

Your mouth dropped open as you stared at your brother.

"You bet on my love life?" you scoffed, still shocked.

At his nod though, you swung off the bench, marching until you were eye to eye to him.

"I want half the winnings."

Rolling his eyes, he turned back to the living room, jumping onto the sofa.

"C'mon, let's watch one more episode before heading back," he said and you jumped in next to him, patting the space next to you as Corpse came in behind you.

You grabbed Sykkunos hand and squeezed it, letting him know that you were grateful that he didn't make it such a big deal. Leaning your head on corpses shoulder, you smiled to yourself.

You'd have to leave in 30 minutes, to drive back to your parents and spend the rest of Christmas with them, leaving Corpse behind. And that made you a bit sad sure, but it couldn't overpower the feeling of pure happiness at being here. At giving him a happier Christmas. You smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

Nothing could overpower this feeling of absolute happiness.

fin.

Corpse husband taglist:  @mythicalamphitrite @ramble-writes @atsumubabe @anxiouskat5646 @itssierramcquade @xaestheticalien @jotaroslightning @starstruckllamapuppy @gxldenskiez @shinyshimaagain @cavanana @fee-btheweeb (send an ask to be added!)

[galaxylohnce]

VUD paladin headcanons!!!!

BTW this is based off of @voltronuniversaldefender ‘s reboot!!! CHECK THEM OUT THEYRE DOING GOD’S WORK

also i have read approx 2 headcanons and baRELY understand this AU so if there are similarities to anyone else or inconsistencies iT IS AN ACCIDENT AND IM SORRY

anyway this is just about the 4 confirmed paladins BET ill be doing more about Fa’rah/Takashi/Zahi/Ashanti once i know a bit more about their roles in the team!!

Alvaro Garcia Valladares

he has a twin. i don't make the rules, but he has a twin.

he has a big family. the biggest family. we’re talking, his mom has 8 siblings and his dad has 9 and there’s a 10 year age gap between him and his oldest sibling and he loves them all so much

natia is his best friend. i repeat, NATIA IS HIS BEST FRIEND!!!!

he’s also quite close with kiki. Natia and Kiki are the only two that he met before their great space adventure

he wasn't really sure of his sexuality at first. (i say this because i wasn't sure of my sexuality at first - im bi btw - and all the media i saw told me that any lgbt+ character was 100% sure of their sexuality form the day they were born, which made me doubt myself bc i didn't figure it out till recently, so i wanna see that in some media!! sometime!!) he probably figured it out halfway through having a crush on someone

the someone is akio, and he definitely tells Natia about it first

“natia... natia listen.... I have a crush on akio. freakin akio.... what do i do??? I’m bi, natia... I'm bi. what does this mean -”

“alvaro, I'm so proud of you, but this is a public bathroom and akio is right outside -”

GUARANTEE that the first time he saw Akio he just basically wanted to fight him but also flirt with him and had a slight moral crisis and ended up doing nothing

he is a goddamn sharpshooter, okay. he straight up becomes famous for it throughout the galaxy.

yet despite that he’s still insecure, and those insecurities prevent him from really getting together w akio until much later

he comes off as very suave and extroverted when you first meet him, but underneath it all, he’s actually really warm, personable and funny: not that anyone outside the team know that 

aliens on social media, probably: god, the blue paladin is so cool... i bet he’s amazing and awesome and eloquent...

meanwhile, alvaro: do u guys think i could fit my whole hand in my mouth or nah?

enjoys memes, and shares this love with kiki

basically an all around great guy. because he often felt like a seventh wheel at the beginning of the formation of the team, he always tries to include everybody as best as possible, going way out of his way to ask after people, even if they forget to ask about him sometimes :’)

Natia Nanai

first off: what a gorgeous name. seriously. incredible kudos, my dude. anyway on to the head canons for this gorgeous girl

probably alvaro’s soulmate. already mentioned this, but it needs reiteration. they are best friends

had a large family too (not as big as alvaros tho) and probably major relate to him with that big family dealio

v close with kiki. they complete each other on a technological level. 

natia is very, very creative. she and her sweet engineering know how are always instrumental in getting the Team out of tough situations

Akio: theres no way out of this we’re going to die -

Natia: bet?

she does say “bet” a lot. like, almost too much? but she's always right and valid when she says it

the villain: i’ve got you now!!!!

natia, under her breath: bet

the paladins, thinking: thank god, we’re saved

very soft but also badass as hell. she has a unique duality.

pulls a violet baudelaire: she puts that GORGEOUS hair up in a ponytail when doing work or whenever she has an idea

everyone on the team, regardless of sexuality, is low-key in love with her because she’s just so nice. no one can hate her. she's way too solid of a friend

speakinG of being a great friend: natia is 100% the secret keeper up in this bitch. everyone comes to her because they know she’s got the best advice around and will take their secrets to the grave

akio: idk man... alvaro is just rlly cute, u know?? but i can't tell him...

natia, thinking of alvaro literally whining to her about akio not even five minutes ago: christ

the mom friend. she always has all the things everyone needs on hand or in her lion, and she’s got it all going in terms of chore charts and family meals. she is the queen of figuring out times for team bonding and everyone loves her more for it

definitely started a board game night asap

she has a silent bravery about her that no one else can match. despite her trepidation, natia will always do what has to be done for the greater good. 

she is guided by her heart and her morals, and is easily the kindest person on the team

bc of this kindness, she is often the diplomat when conflicts arise between people on the team

she is seen by the general public (aka the galaxy) as a strong, morally righteous woman. kind of like rosie the riveter-esque??? she’s the symbol of justice and fairness. 

aliens: she's so... peacekeeping :0

natia, at kiki: throw me that wrench, or so help me god - 

basically, a queen who always considers everyone and works really hard to create a family, even when they're all so far from home :’)

Kiki Evans

generally over it tbh

“always tired, but always inspired” - kiki, on being asked why there were dark circles under her eyes

kind of standoffish. she’s not really about being nice, she's about getting the job done, and that can rub people the wrong way, since she is always the first to offer up the cold, logical solution

but underneath that, she’s just a computer science nerd who is loyal to a fault

she really is loyal. its almost dangerous sometimes, because she would put the universe in danger to save her friends, which actually comes into conflict with her typical cold, logical approach.

she has 0-1 sibling. she's every bit the single child. she cannot relate to living in a big family setting, and at first its hard for her to deal with before she warms up to everyone else on the team

she's a genius, and thus found school to be tedious. in fact, she got fairly bad grades, as she wouldn't do the work that she saw as pointless and boring

she is a meme connoisseur, and loves to quote vines, often assisted by alvaro

kiki, as they approach a giant black hole: HZZK

alvaro, catching on immediately: is... is that real???

she is a conspiracy theorist, for sure. the government is watching us all, trying to make sure we don't learn too much.... she’s sure of it, and akio is too

tbh, the first proper conversation she had with akio was about cryptids and how the government had hidden them from the public

she was friends w natia and alvaro from before, but it is akio she becomes closest with the fastest. in some ways, she feels more distant from natia/alvaro bc of how close they are with each other and  bc all of them have known each other for so long while akio is someone she got to know recently: he has no preconceptions about who she used to be, and she has none about him

plus, she and akio relate on many levels: both trans, both gay, both autistic, both theorists, and both loyal to a fault. she finds a real blood brother in akio :D

very openly gay. very. she's a space lesbian, and theres no denying it

kiki, meeting some random space girl: oh

kiki, moments later to akio: god I'm gay

akio, downing a glass of water but acting like its vodka or smthg: god, same

the public sees her as the cold and calculating techie, the brains of the operation

natia is her partner in crime. they finish each others sentences. they've got a tech connection going, babey

kiki: if we just cross-reference the zaiforge tunnel with the -

natia, nodding: particle consummator, of course we’ll get the perfect -

them, together: amount of energy!!!

everyone else: sorry wot

basically, she's a tech goddess with a splash of genius. she's uneasy and a bit awkward, but thats just bc she’s never been in a situation like this before. after literally 1 second with her, she opens up and is such a loyal friend. :’)

Akio Himura

wow this boy is gay and he knows it

he loves his parents (zahi, takashi, and ashanti) but god he will never admit it. not ever

alvaro, after listing his parents, 20 aunts and 100 cousins: and i love them all so much, with all my heart. what about ur family akio?

akio, not wanting to show weakness: they're nerds.

alvaro: um okay cool good talk haha :)

akio, internally: but i love them nd would die for them tbh... but i can't show weakness

he's so guarded after his biological parents left/died/disappeared. poor boy

definitely a single child, and definitely adopted

his parents love him SO MUCH. so much.

akio: why do i have three parents, dad?

takashi, almost crying: its simple. u deserve so much love, that it couldn't be contained in just two people. we needed three. its how its gotta be, my beautiful, sweet summer child

a yeehaw kind of guy. he grew up in the midwest riding horses before his biological parents died and theres a piece of him that will always be a southern boy

the kind of kid in school that pretends he’s a delinquent, but actually just has the aesthetic of a delinquent, and is truly soft

akio: hell yeah I'm a rebel. i logged onto disney.com without my parents permission

kiki, choked up: so brave

mothman is his love. his passion. all cryptids, for that matter. kiki is more of an all around conspiracy theorist: akio is in it for the cryptids 

he’s a bit awkward, and doesn’t totally understand all social cues/jokes. because of this, he stays away from memes, and is very guarded when meeting new people, especially after experiences with light bullying for not only his social ineptitude, but his upbringing.

considering that, his first meeting with alvaro was supremely awkward, and akio accidentally fought with him multiple times before they established a solid friendship

akio, having a gay panic: you are the light of my life

alvaro: sorry what??

akio, panicking more: I said, you wanna fiGHT WITH A KNIFE???

he pined after alvaro from basically day one, but had the foresight to actually know that he was pining, unlike alvaro who just floundered

of course he would never say anything

he is a stabby boi. he is unrivaled in swordplay, and enjoys routine. his natural affinity for picking up new skills plus his unrivaled work ethic basically DESTROYED everyone else when it came to swords

he’s loyal af and is always the first one to take action. akio is a “do something. do anything, but do it fast before we lose a chance to do something” kind of guy

the general public sees him as the fiery one: he’s the one with the fanciest footwork in a fight, and he’s very good with battle tactics. he can come thru with that strategy at the perfect times

he's a low-key emo. for sure. he loves MCR, but strangely dislikes other similar artists like p!atd and fob. 

kiki: but...brendon urie, akio....

akio, sipping tea: as a gay, i can appreciate the aesthetic. but no one can compete with MCR

kiki, exasperated: its not a competition -

basically, a slightly guarded boy with a real talent for defending the universe and his friends, but also an emo cowboy mess who is in love with alvaro and loves everyone :’)

WELL THAT ENDED UP LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. I HOPE U ENJOY AAAA

ALSO FOLLOW @voltronuniversaldefender !!!! its amazing, guys, really check it out :D

[delulusuga]

THE LEGEND OF HOW I GOT RID OF A CREEP AT AN INTERNSHIP

Hello, my dudes... this is an urban legend of how I, a 15 year old, who recently attended an internship at a hospital... met a creep (and a pedo?), and how I saved myself from the situation. (THIS IS NOT A HIGHLY RECOMMENDED WAY TO GO ABOUT IT... if you’re stuck in a situation like this, you should probably escape and get the hell out of there as soon as you can) Anyway, so... at my internship, I met this really friendly doctor who’s like 44 years old... she has an amazing fashion taste and a pretty good sense of humor and stuff... now, she is pretty social and has like a lot of friends who are also her patients and stuff .. Now, one fine day this 22 year old man walks in, who also happens to be a pretty good friend of this doctor, and tells her about a wound that he got on his toe because he fell down the stairs. When he walked in, the doctor introduced me to him, by the way, by saying “she’s a student..” or something (just so patients are not creeped tf out by a random stranger watching them succumb into diseases and death lol) ... and so he kinda happens to include me in the conversation and it’s all cool and not awkward (as not-awkward as it can get for an asocial hooman like me) ... and she walks out of the room at one point to get a sick leave (cuz he has a wound in his leg) and he asks me about the internship and school and stuff and like we kinda joke and we have a similar sense of humor and it’s KIND OF weird cuz he’s so friendly but I just take it as extroverts and their weird social behaviors lmao and I’m like okay.. whatever. He leaves and then that’s it for the day. However, he COMES BACK the next day (he has to - to redress his wound) and this time, we’re left alone for a longer time in the room and we joke more cuz like idk I’m funny?? Apparently?? Or maybe not....... Anyway, so like we’re in the middle of a conversation when the doc comes in with the sick leave paper and she’s like “I have a patient waiting” and she kinda rushes us BOTH OUT AND ASKS US TO WAIT FOR HER cuz apparently she wants to talk to him about her watch that she needs to get fixed or something (he works at like an electronic repair shop or something) ... and now this is where it’s WEIRD weird because why did she just send me out as well??? Like I’m SUPPOSED to be with her????? But everything happened in a rush so I couldn’t really say ‘no’ ... Anyway, so it just so happens that he hasn’t had his lunch and so there this cafe kind of thing right next to the hospital and he takes me there (I REALLY WANNA KILL MYSELF BY NOW) and like I have to go soon cuz like we were still conversing about something and idk it just happened in such a haze I don’t even remember how we ended up there and HE KEPT ME THERE FOR LIKE AN HOUR AND A HALF straight, no joke. And I wanted to shoot myself in the head because WHY TF WAS I BEING NICE AND NOT ASKING HIM TO FUCK OFF???? I mean, he told me about like him getting bullied or whatever in school but like SO WAS I????? AND HE IS 22??? HE FAILED 12TH GRADE??? IM SURE HE COUKD HANDLE A 15 YEAR OLD ASKING HIM TO FUCK OFF??? Anyway so that happened and I finally made an excuse to like go back. Now, we obviously had to talk during this one and a half hour like we couldn’t just stare at each other’s faces, could we? So like that happens and at one point I mention wanting to download Netflix on my laptop or something and he goes “NO THAT’S SO GAY!” And I’m like ????? That’s not funny???? And like I’m pretty defensive about it and stuff and I bring it up twice in the conversation telling him that that isn’t appropriate or like acceptable and he goes like “Are you...” and he doesn’t complete the sentence ( of course he doesn’t) and I say “I support them...let anyone love anybody..” and stuff because I don’t wanna open up to HIM about like my sexuality or whatever right... Also, he asks me my number as well but I refuse and give him my Instagram instead... Oh and, he gives me his Netflix username and password... and he says stupid things that’s like indirectly dropping hints and I’m like NO PLS THIS IS VV UNCOMFORTABLE. Anyway so after I escape from that situation, I have to deal with him on text when I get back home right... And by now I’m pretty stressed about this because I still have to see him FOR 3 MORE DAYS CUZ HE HAS TO COME FOR REDRESSING HIS WOUND and stuff so like fml... and like I start kinda getting anxiety when he says “2019 has already started on such a good note, I hope the rest of the year goes like this” on text and I LIKE PANIC AND TELL ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS WHO IS NOT EVEN IN THE SAME COUNTRY AS ME... And now she gets really concerned about my safety and so she asks me to tell the doctor the next day when I go back to the internship (which I was obviously going to do anyway) and then she asks me for his Instagram ID ... and I give it to her. These are the events that follow: 1) She changes her username and her profile picture.. goes fully undercover. She changes her name, even. 2) She TEXTS him saying “hey” and now, we wait. (She sends me screenshots of the chat) 3) He replies a few minutes later with “Hello” 4) She says that I told her about my internship and she heard about him through me. 5) and he is like “ah okay...” 6) and now I ask her to say “YOURE 22????!!!!!!” Lmao , which she does... just to get the message across #nomercy 7) and then she says , “I’m her girlfriend, by the way” And this is very very believable as well because remember how I was so defensive about the gay thing and I brought I up twice and he was like ???? So... yes.... they had a passive-aggressive conversation which at one point just got kinda disgusting because he went like “I don’t get why you texted me... are you jealous?” LIKE FIRST OF ALL, WHAT THE FUCK. SECONDLY, WHAT THE FUCK. And she is obviously like “ why do I have to be jealous of you?” And stuff and there are various instances where she rubs it in that HE IS FUCKING 22... she also indirectly calls him a pedo at one point ( I was behind the scenes, controlling the conversation as well) And then he texts me saying “are you bi? Because apparently your alleged gf is chatting with me right now” and like I did with his previous messages, I ignore this one as well... however, I realize that if I ignored this particular one, when I see him the next day, I will have to answer or at least, hear him SPEAK to me ... if I just confirmed it, he wouldn’t talk to me (hopefully) ... and so I said “yes... I have a girlfriend” and THEN LOGGED TF OUT JUST IN CASE HE WAS ONLINE LOL Then, skip to next day... I manage to escape to another doctor’s cabin like 5 minutes before he comes in... so I don’t have to see him. Now, on that day I even told the doctor about it ( I told her about what my friend and I ended up doing as well ... she was laughing her ass off cuz SAME) and she was like “it’s partly my fault” and stuff and she was nice about it and was like I’m not going to leave you guys alone, don’t worry .. and stuff... and like when we he came to visit her ( I wasn’t there) ... he went like “did you know she is bi?????” Doc (who obviously knows what actually happened... but is also very cool about gays and stuff .. very open-minded) - “So what?” creep - “SHE IS BI!!!!!!” Doc - “so what??? Why you even mentioning it?? How does that make a difference?” Creep- *falls silent and is embarrassed* Doc - “it’s not like she likes me, does she?” (This is why I love her) And yeah so I was saved on that day... However, the next day... and the last day I have to see his face, he doesn’t come in, and we do meet ... but only for like 5 minutes and again, we’re not left alone this time... and yeah ... Now I just ignore his texts straight up and he asked my friend at one point (who also ignored his texts after that one conversation) - “ hey can I take your word for it? Like are you actually her gf?” AND MAN THAT IS SO FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE JESUS She replies with “yes” and I ask her to block him.. which she does He then says “hey why are you acting so distant?” to me on text LIKE YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY YOU IDIOT... So yeah, that’s it... that’s how I got rid of a creepy desperate idiot... All I’m saying is, there were a lot of instances I could’ve bailed out in this situation, but I decided to be nice/not make a big deal out of it which I SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE. If something seems weird to you, then it IS WEIRD. Do not try to justify the opposite person and put your life in danger. Another important thing is that it’s hard to say no to people like him cuz he is good natured and also, he is much older than I am... that means he is also capable of a lot of things... specifically because we were pretty much alone at that point... so it’s not the same as an asshole in your grade who you can ask to fuck off, for instance... just make sure you’re safe... make sure you are AWARE of what you’re getting yourself into... you don’t have to go out of your way to please someone or to be nice if they make you uncomfortable. You’re not obligated to do that. Your only obligation is towards yourself - save yourself before you fend for someone else.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #195

i’m fighting to stay up and see the blood moon but i am already ready to fail at 9:30 lmao.

What’s the first website you go to when you log onto the computer? Usually KM. Does your house/apartment have a bathtub or just showers? It's both. Where are your birthmarks? On my right forearm and the left side of my stomach. When’s the last time you found something unexpectedly? The closest occasion to come to mind was when I was inches from crawling into fox intestines... yeah. The grass was just high enough to hide them until I was RIGHT there. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy. What color was the last scarf you wore? Idr the last time I wore one. I never do. Is there at least one ex that you can still trust? Girt. Are there any celebrities who live fairly near you? Not to my knowledge, and it's very unlikely. Have you ever gotten love and infatuation confused? Maybe? When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? Months ago. Is there anything that you want to do, but you won’t do because you’re too afraid? Skydive. Who was the last person to yell at you? Mom. What’s the longest amount of time that you’ve spent away from your home? We were technically homeless from I think early February '17 to some time in April (we all "lived" with people I'm immensely thankful for), so that time. Did the last movie you watched have any emotional affect on you? No. What motivates you to go to school? I absolutely refuse to live my own independent life as I've known it so far with serious financial instability that, since being a teenager and truly understanding, has made me want to rip my hair out. Don't for a single moment be unappreciative of knowing you're having a home next month, a working car, insurance, and I'll just stop before this ruins my mood. When was the last time you heard someone talking about you? With certainty, Mom and Nicole, but that was months ago. Are you embarrassed to bring people into your bedroom? No, I like my bedroom, just not the fact how tiny it is. When was the last children’s birthday party you attended? My nephew's. Are you good at reading other people’s body language? I think so. If you’re sick, do you go to school or do you stay home usually? I'm not in that position now, but when I was in school, uh yeah, I begged Mom to let me stay home. Honestly I could just barely be feeling sick and I'd try to stay home. Yeah, I loved middle-high school. Shit, I think I gave Mom trouble in elementary, too. Does chicken noodle soup really make you feel any better? I wouldn't know, I don't like it. What’s one meal that you like to eat whilst sick? A meal, idk, and it also depends on what kind of sickness we're talking about... but with anything, I never eat much or anything heavy. Have you ever set out to ruin someone else’s day? No. Well, I don't really know if I count that impulsive "guess who's going to the ER again" shit, just because I don't remember if that was a motive to just ruin his day, and it also wasn't planned? But I know I intended it to hurt initially at least because I wanted to know he cared, so... Make your own judgment on this one. What was the name of the last board game that you played? I rarely play 'em because I just don't tend to enjoy them almost at all. I don't recall, but I'm sure it was something with Girt; we usually play them when he's here. Do you like to give people a taste of their own medicine? No. Well, if I don't dish it out. I don't believe in karma, but I think it's normal to have a "how does it feel now?" reaction when someone experiences the wrong they've given to others. How was the service at the last restaurant you visited? I don't recall. In a car, air conditioning or roll the windows down? I strongly prefer AC. What type of personality do you find most annoying? Over-the-top judgmental and condescending, but especially egotistical. Do you give any consideration to what’s said in your horoscope? Absolutely zero, and I admittedly find ignorance and gullibility in you if you do. I'm generally super, super open-minded, but. Having faith in the horoscope is a weak point there. Have you ever done cocaine? Wow no. Has anyone ever called you a whore? I don't believe so, excluding jokes with friends and such. Are you the oldest child? The youngest? In the middle? Only child? The middle of my "full" siblings, second-youngest if you count them all. Has anyone ever told you that you have a cute nose? I actually think so? When was the last time you wrestled? Probably with Jason playfully, so years ago. Do you like your first name? I do. Whose car were you last in? Mom's. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It has been twice. First time, the damn hole closed while I was in the hospital (I had to take them all out, and four piercings total closed, yay), so I got it redone. What was the last reason you went to the doctor? Therapy. What can’t you wait for? Going back to school or getting a job I don't hate. Have your parents ever smoked pot? I don't think so. Do you like scary movies, what was the last one you watched? With who? Yes. Last year's Halloween with Mom. Is there someone you know you should hate but you can’t? I believe I have enough reason to hate Colleen, but I don't think I feel that strongly enough to, especially as yes, she did wonderful things for me too, but I can't forget the many reasons of why I questioned our friendship. I think I just strongly dislike her. Do you take walks often? I can't thanks to my damn knees mixed with my current, lovely sweating situation. I can't walk here anyway, we live on the side of a decently busy street. Do you like Subway? Sure. When’s the last time you said you were fine, but really weren’t? Idk, I've learned to not do that. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, would you take them back? No. Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? Maybe? I know at least texted. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. Are you fascinated by outer space? I'd love to see a person say no to this. What’s a fun website you recommend? Nothing surprising or new... Do you answer your phone when it’s a number you don’t recognize? Sometimes. Through VR, the person working with me has really emphasized that I have to learn to when you're out trying to get a job and such with how you'll be receiving calls. Do you like spontaneity? It really depends, but in most situations, I think no. Do you have dreams that you’re not giving up on? I absolutely refuse to. Do you have hope for the future? Some days. Not as much as usual of the late. Are you optimistic? No, I'm a realist. Do you think your hair looks better up or down? It's too short to be put up. Do you like bare trees or green-leaved trees better? Autumn trees. Between those two, probably bare, I guess. Do you love your hometown? Yeah, having the Bloods gang try to break into your house, having eggs thrown at your window, drugs being easy to access, and former criminals walking right down the streets, yeah, it was great. Do you dream of decorating a house someday? Well yeah. It wouldn't feel like home if it wasn't personalized. What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? I hate you and your barbarous ass more than I care to describe. :) Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? Never been on one in the first place. Out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? I don't like green much, but I love orange and pastel blue... eh, I dunno what to pick. Is there anything you’re saving up for? A shitload of things. Know anyone with a really annoying laugh? FUCKING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? I learned recently my grampa was in the navy for I believe two wars. Idr on Mom's side. Would you make any changes to your current bedroom? Ugh, change the color of these walls, please. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle? I haven't been on a bus in years, but back when I went home with Jason, we sat in the back with a few of his friends. If it was of my own volition now, uh. Probably the middle. Are you normally a person to tell people off? No, but BOY will I if you give me a damn good reason, particularly if the person has hurt a loved one. Do you currently have any bug bites? No. Have you ever gone to see a movie just to make fun of it? No. When you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over? y e s Ever been to a REAL metal show? Not yet. How much time do you spend on the computer? Better question is how much time am I not. How do you feel about Motorhead? Loads of respect for our late Lemmy as an icon in the metal community, but I don't know many of their songs. Like every human being at least, "Ace of Spades" I love and is a BANGER. I'm actually not a big fan of Lemmy's voice, but I can overlook the singing for the overall sound of the song, for example, Megadeth for me. What words or phrases do you tend to overuse the most? "Fuck," "shook," "rip," "fite me," and "don't @ me," lol. I am an adult y'all. Is there anything in particular that you’re shy about? Above all, talking about things in particular that I really enjoy/am passionate about, RP being the main one. You will probably never see me more uncomfortable than when explaining/talking about that with 99% of people. Classic rock love ballads: totally cheesy or totally awesome? GIMME. Are you more kinky or conservative? Well I wouldn't really know, I've only ever done "normal" things. I don't think you'd know unless you tried something. What color is your pillowcase? Both are brown. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever pulled a muscle? Uhhhh. I don't know. Would you consider yourself rebellious? I both do and don't for varying reasons. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) I'll just consider "real" ones, as my first contenders were all from fictional media, lmao. I genuinely like pentagrams, especially when designed in cool ways. What methods are most effective for you when you’re trying to relax? Deep, rhythmic breathing. I recommend it to absolutely anyone in an anxiety attack or something of the like. I believe it's actually proven to work, and at least to some degree, when I do it correctly and long enough, it works miracles. Here's a really helpful gif I trained myself with: https://thumbs.mic.com/MTc0NWZkOWM5YSMvYnhwRHF6Y2JLcUVuOVZGNUV5d1BST3Q0TU1ZPS9maXQtaW4vNzYweDAvZmlsdGVyczpub191cHNjYWxlKCk6cXVhbGl0eSg4MCk6bm9fdXBzY2FsZSgpOmZvcm1hdChqcGVnKS9odHRwOi8vaW1hZ2VzLm1pYy5jb20vZnh1NWxjNGh2d2RseXdwYmdobDU2YnV2ZGp1a2VqbXd5YnhpZXYxanRmaGlvZGNhcWtpaXR5d2N5NWFlc2dlNy5naWY.gif Are you any good at making the infamous puppy face? I wouldn't know; I probably haven't done that since playing around with Jason years ago... if I even did then, and I've changed a lot physically. Would you rather date your opposite, your 'twin’, or someone in between? In-between. Are you a moaner, a screamer, or totally silent? Moaner that tried to be really quiet because I was so paranoid we'd either be heard or I'd be too loud and miss someone coming home or something lmao. I was so scared of that happening that I always decided we had to stop if I was starting to feel like screaming. What documentary topics interest you most? Wildlife. Is there currently someone you want to get closer to? A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Do you take any medications that make you nauseous? Not anymore, anyway. When I started Latuda, it was rough sometimes, but I've been on it long enough to where it no longer bothers me. Do you ever make up your own words? No. Do you have any nicknames that are actually true about you? No. How many videos do you have favorited on your YouTube account? I believe the max where I believe it has to remove old ones lmao. I used to favorite like, any video I liked, but now I use it true to term. When did you have your last 'facepalm’ moment? I did that not long ago, but I don't remember why. Has a boyfriend or girlfriend ever nicknamed your, erm, 'privates’? No, and I don't particularly want anyone to. Do you know anyone who has carpal tunnel syndrome? Myself, actually. I knew I would develop it eventually with how much I've typed since before I was even a teen. My mom has it, too. Do you like raisins? NONONO When did you first kiss the last person you kissed? June last year. What are some of your favorite cities you’ve been to? Literally the only serious "city" I've been to is Chicago, which was great. Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any) Don't want kids, but hypothetically, it would depend on their maturity level. What’s something about adult life you were never warned of or prepared for? Uhhh idk, but mostly because it's not like I act like a "real" adult... No job, no car, no real adult decisions to make, and Mom handles anything else I can think of. Did your parents teach you proper table manners when you were growing up? As kids, yeah, common sense ones and not putting your elbows on the table. Which I find super stupid and haven't done in years. I only rarely put a napkin on my lap, really just if my grandma's here or I'm eating something actually messy. Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Pinterest, and never for something I care about. I need to turn them off. What is the minimum age to obtain a driver’s license in your state/country? 16. If you won the lottery, do you think any of your family members would ask you to give them some of your money? I'm torn between Mom or not for various reasons on both ends... but I'd help her out regardless. What is the craziest thing you’ve seen happen at your workplace? N/A Do you own any home automation gadgets like wifi thermostats or wifi bulbs? I don't think so? What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Dark Souls lmao. What would you do if your ex contacted you? I. Don't really know. I know for sure I'd be closed-off as fuck, examining every blink the dude did. I'd maybe be open to having an acquaintance-level "friendship," but that's it, and I don't know if I could ever stop being aloof. Last time you had anal sex? (if ever) Never, doesn't sound appealing to me. Ever tasted a flavored condom? No. Are your parents wealthy? Lol no. Dad's I believe middle class, but Mom? Have you ever asked someone out? Yeah. What products do you use in the shower? Shampoo, body wash, a facial cleanser. Do you like Swedish Fish? Noooo, they've always been one candy I just don't like. What movie can you watch over and over, and it will never get old? Idk, I don't really re-watch movies anyway. What was the best movie you’ve ever seen in theaters? Idk. Have you ever eaten with both fork and spoon, at the same time? I don't believe so. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? I always do when I'm able to. I like to know exactly when it happens. Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo? Yeah. Do you know someone that is mute, deaf or blind? Ashley's legally blind in one eye, I believe her right. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? I've never been confined to one. Does weed smell good? Or no? Nooooo no no. Have you ever regretted letting someone go? Megan. Well, did I really "let her go," idk. How long was your longest make out? Like, all night on/off. Who made you laugh last? JackSepticEye. I'm watching like, every YTuber I like play the demo of the RE2 remaster. HYPE for that game. Never played the original, so seeing it new and realistic as hell will be nice, plus I'm a hoe for Leon. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap? Was the way Jason treated me after the break-up justified, idk. Which is harder, walking away from somebody you love or coming back to somebody who has hurt you? Walking away. What’s one question you hate being asked? Thankfully no one who doesn't need to know asks, but don't ask for my weight please. Did you make a wish on 11-11-11 at 11:11? No. Has anything exciting been going on in your life? Ha ha. What’s the last question you’ve been asked? (Not counting the survey.) Uhhhhhhh. Something from Mom, idr. Do you know any neat card tricks? No. Have you ever had a dream of someone you know harming you? Dad, in a lot before and a long time after the divorce, and I actually had another recently where I woke up and screamed. Idk why I had it, considering my dad and I are good. Do you have nice legs? I absolutely hate my legs. Do you collect postcards? I don't even go anywhere to, my friend. What kind of flooring does your house accommodate? Wood, carpet, and tile. Do you look good in shorts? I WOULDN'T DARE WEAR SHORTS. I hate my legs, remember??? Do your parents ever try to tell you what or what not to wear? Sometimes when we go out to certain places, Mom claims whatever I'm wearing isn't "formal (enough)," but I sincerely don't care in most cases. Have you ever held a tarantula? Yes, a rose-haired female. She was cool. <3 Do you have a dog tag necklace? No. Has a boyfriend’s brother ever hit on you? No. Who would you pick if you had to pick a celebrity (female) to kiss? In a case where we're both single, uhhhh, fuck. Maybe Suzy Hanson because goddamn she is a goddess inside and out I stan a queen. Now what about male? Same rules as above, be fuckin' prepared Fischfuck, he gettin' more than a kiss lads 'n lassies. Do you enjoy folk music? No. Does it make you nervous when you see people throw their children in the air to catch ‘em? To a degree. Do you own a locket? No. Have you ever seen a manatee in person? (they’re adorable) No. Mom swam with them a looooong time back, before she had me or my sisters I think, and I am ENVIOUS. Does anyone get your hand-me-downs? Not anymore. Does your mom still give you an Easter basket on Easter? She didn't last year for I believe the first time. What kind of dressing would you like on your salad? Inject the Olive Garden dressing into my veins. Have you ever stolen anything without intent? (walking out of the store with something in your hand, etc…)? I don't believe so. Are you good at Sudoku? I haven't played that in years. I used to be. Have you ever stayed in an unhealthy relationship just because it was easier than ending things? No. If you were diagnosed with a genetic disorder, would you still have biological children despite risking passing the disorder on to them? I don't want kids, but hypothetically, I guess it would depend on the disorder. What's the longest song you know all the words to? Ohhh not sure. I could look on my iPod, but don't feel like it. What is the greatest source of anxiety for you? My totally stagnant life. What's something you could endlessly rant about? Ha, so much... At this current time, probably the cancer that is the anti-vaxxer community. What's something you could passionately talk about for hours? Mark, meerkats, and Silent Hill. Do your parents still live in the same house they raised you in? No. Do you know anyone who got pregnant as a teen and dumped the baby on their parents to raise? Probably. What would you do if your own teenaged child did that? Again, don't want 'em, but I'll be hypothetical. I would be fucking irate, and quite honestly, I'd probably end up putting it up for adoption if her ass tried that. Maybe my answer would be different if I actually had a daughter and thus the connection to her own child, but idk. It's hard to answer this question when you don't want kids. What's a place you have a strong emotional connection to? My hometown. We essentially never drive past it, but seeing my childhood home gives me this nostalgic-as-fuck feeling. What is something that you feel you are destined for? I don't believe in destiny. If you could form only one thing with your mind whenever you wanted, what would it be and why? Money, for obvious reasons. If you could control any form of liquid, which one would you want to control and why? (liquid water, frozen water, mist, blood, sap, etc) Blood would of course be coolest, but uh. Liquid water would probably be most useful. If you could have the power of any animal (you don’t transform into the animal, just obtain its abilities), what animal would you pick? A bird, I guess. Would you be willing to merge/fuse with someone else if you got cool powers to go along with it? No.

[tayegi]

New Rules Ch. 1 (m)

fratboy!Jungkook smut/angst

Word Count: 12,623

"Jeon Jungkook just friend requested me on facebook. Huh."

"What?" Your roommate snaps up in her seat, frozen for a split second, before she's rushing across the room to throw herself on your bed, "Are you serious?!"

You nod and numbly show her your laptop, where the little notification glows in the corner of your screen, "What does he want from me?"

"I have no clue," Mijoo says with genuine bewilderment, "Have you ever even spoken to him before?"

"He's in my writing seminar," you explain, "It's an 8 am class, so I see him about once every two weeks when he turns in assignments."

Mijoo's lips twitch at that description, "Typical Jeon."

"Yup. And I wouldn't have noticed either, but it's a small class, and the girls always go crazy preening themselves on the day our papers are due… I nearly suffocated in their perfume last time. Such a nuisance… Seriously, what does he want from me?"

"I really can't think of anything," Mijoo says as she scratches her head, "Have you posted a bikini photo recently?"

"Pssht. Not where my future employers can find me."

"Hmm. Maybe your profile photo has a lot of cleavage?"

"I'm wearing a raincoat!"

"Then I really don't know why he would've friended you."

The two of you frown at each other in mutual perplexity for a few seconds, before you shrug, "Oh well, who cares? I'm going to reject his friend request."

"Wait, what? ___, no!" Mijoo screeches, diving to grab your wrist before you can click the little "delete request" button.

"Huh? What's wrong?" You ask in confusion as you try to shake your hand out of her reach.

"You can't just reject Jeon Jungkook's friend request!"

"What? Why not? Should I block him too?"

"No! What's wrong with you?!" She exclaims in distress.

"What do you mean?" you ask, taken aback by her dramatic reaction.

"This is the Jeon Jungkook, ___. Aka youngest member of the varsity soccer team and the hottest guy in beta tau sigma—potentially the hottest guy in the entire Greek system. How could you possibly not accept his friend request?!"

"When have you cared about something as superficial as that?" You complain as you attempt to reach for the keypad again, "So what? Big whoop."

But Mijoo screeches like a banshee and tackles you onto the bed when you try to reject again, "I'm not joking, ___, you have to accept! What if this is your chance with him? Jungkook doesn't go around friending any old girl."

"I bet he does," you grumble, "It says here that he has over a thousand facebook friends."

"Still, this could be your chance!"

"I don't want a chance with him! I don't want to catch whatever nasty diseases he reeks of."

"___, come on!" Mijoo is practically whining at this point, "Think of all the cool beta tau sigma parties we'll be invited to!"

"When have I ever given a fuck about frat— wait… oh my god…" you gasp, eyes widening as you suddenly realize your best friend's motivation, "You're only interested because of Park Jimin!"

"Hmm? Jimin? What about him?" She coyly feigns obliviousness.

"Don't you try to lie to me. Everyone knows that Jimin and Jungkook are practically joined at the hip."

"Oh are they?" She continues to play pretend, "I didn't notice."

"Bullshit!" you cry out, "Who the fuck do you think you're kidding, woman? Can you get more obvious without tattooing 'Park Jimin' on your ass? It's obvious he owns it anyways."

Mijoo flushes at that and instantly dives across the bed to lunge for you, "Shut up!" She exclaims, trying to strangle you with her dainty hands while you roll around howling with laughter. "Ugh! You're so immature!"

"And you're about as subtle as a flying brick," you chortle, "Mijoo and Jimin sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n—"

"Oh my god!" She shrieks, jumping on you to slap a hand over your mouth, "Someone might hear you! How are you so ridiculously immature?!"

You giggle at her embarrassment, and quickly loop your arms around her neck to calm her down, "Okay, I'll accept his request."

"It's okay if you don't," Mijoo huffs, ego clearly bruised by your teasing, "I really couldn't care one way or the other."

"Too late, I already accepted!" You brightly exclaim as you hit the little button. Then your face abruptly drops, "Mijoo… Why does this kid have so many shirtless selfies?!"

Hey.

You stare at the single word on your screen for a long time, trying to make sense of the three little characters. Why would Jeon Jungkook send you this a mere ten minutes after you accepted his friend request? It's almost like he was waiting for your response…

Should you respond back? Or wait for Mijoo to get back from class? She literally just walked out the sorority's front door a minute ago. It wouldn't be too late to chase after her… But you don't want her to stress over such a little thing. She's highstrung enough as it is. No, the logical course of action is to just wait for Mijoo to come home and give you guidance.

Um… you there?

You frown in disapproval, surprised by the audacity of this practical stranger to double message you, when you realize that Jungkook can see if you've read his messages. Cold sweat slides down your spine at the thought of leaving Jimin's best friend on read. Forget waiting for Mijoo. She'll forgive you later.

Yeah, you quickly type back, what's up?

I've just seen you around my writing seminar… And I was just wondering if you knew when the poetry assignment was due?

Your brow furrows. Is he just beating around the bush right now? Or does he actually want the assignment? Oh. It's due next week.

Really? K. thanks.

You pause again as you re-read his casual response. What do you do now? How can you possibly salvage this situation and spark up a conversation that will hopefully lead to Mijoo and Jimin? But it seems hopeless at this point, unless you ask straight up and embarrass Mijoo. Sighing with disappointment, you send him a lackluster thumb's up emoji.

After a second, you see that he's read your response. Shrugging, you're about to log out of facebook and open up your homework for the night, when you suddenly see three dots pop up on the bottom of the chat box followed by a Jungkook is typing…

Pleasantly surprised, you abandon all thoughts of homework as you flop to a more comfortable position on your belly, curious to see what he might say. Clearly, he's not interested in the homework. His absence since the start of the semester was evidence enough. He's also trying to play cupid, but both of you are too awkward to say it outright.

Hey, idk about you, but this poetry assignment makes no sense to me. Wanna meet up and talk about it?

You snort at the audacity of his words. It sounds like he's asking you out. Anyone else would spend some time skirting around the issue, out of respect for you, and embarrassment about any potential rejection. But this fuckboi clearly isn't used to any woman saying no to him. You're tempted to reject his offer, just for vindictive satisfaction. But, alas, you must do this for your beloved Mijoo.

Sure. You message him back, every bit as nonchalant in tone as he is. Just tell me the time and place.

The next day, you find yourself sitting at a café by yourself, idly swirling your spoon around in your cappuccino as you glance at the clock for the hundredth time. Jeon Jungkook is late… as expected. It's your fault really for expecting the fuckboi to show up on time on a Friday morning. You'd be surprised if he showed at all. BTS is notorious for their thirsty Thursday parties after all…

You're about to resign yourself to your unfortunate fate and pack up your things for the day when a handsome, dark-haired man suddenly bursts in on the scene. Heads turn in interest at his approach in the small café, then lower again in disappointment when it becomes obvious that he's with you.

"Sorry I'm late," Jungkook greets you with a disarming smile as he slips into the seat across from you.

You moodily stir your lukewarm coffee as you try to choke back your feelings of annoyance. With that face of his, this kid probably thinks he can get away with anything. You'd love to teach him a lesson, but now is neither the time nor place for that. "It's fine," you say through gritted teeth.

"There was a huge clean-up effort at the beta tau sigma house," Jungkook explains as he flags down the waiter for an Americano, "It took us hours to get all the foam out of the living room… It was seriously wild," he laughs.

It's like this kid is a walking cliché of the world's most basic fuckboi. And of course, he doesn't seem the least bit hungover. "Hmm," you say, feigning interest as you take a sip of your coffee, "That sounds cool."

"It really was. You should've come."

"Ah, I wasn't invited."

"Really? Ok, here's me inviting you for next time."

Is this guy really so loose with his invitations that he'd freely allow a practical stranger in his house? "Thanks," you politely smile, "I might just take you up on that offer."

"Yeah, anytime. And if you have any friends who want to tag along, you're all more than welcome… You have a roommate, right?"

Ah, here it comes… "Yeah, Mijoo," you say.

"Oh right. That's her name. You should bring her as well," he smoothly says, as though he honestly thought you were too stupid to catch on.

"Right. I will."

There's a moment of awkward silence as the two of you smile stiffly at each other. Then Jungkook clears his throat loudly and busies himself with digging through his bag, "So, about that poetry assignment… Um… It's pretty easy, huh?"

You raise an eyebrow, "I thought you said you didn't get it?" You could've made this easy for him and played along with his pretenses… But you were getting a little fed up and wanted to cut this short.

"Oh… right… Er—it seems easy, but it's actually confusing…" He says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

"How is it confusing?" you ask, placing more pressure on the young man with morbid curiosity.

"You know how poetry is… With the rhyming and all that jazz."

"Jungkook… You do know the assignment is free verse rhyme, right?"

There's a beat of silence where he stares at you with wide eyes, like a deer caught in the headlights. Clearly, he's not used to people calling him out on his bluffs, and he doesn't know how to react.

So you simply roll your eyes, "Alright, cut the bullshit, Jeon. I know you didn't ask me here to talk about free verse poetry."

Jungkook gulps, "Ah… you knew?"

"You're not very subtle… But that's an issue for another day. So how are we going to get Mijoo and Jimin together?"

The handsome young man visibly relaxes at your words, all the tension immediately dissipating from his rigid posture, "Oh thank god," he sighs deeply, slumping over on the table in relief.

You laugh at his dramatic reaction, "When you messaged me so out of the blue, I thought for sure you wanted to strategize to get them together. But instead, you kept beating around the bush."

"I should've just come clean… The best friend of your best friend's crush," Jungkook wryly comments, "Guess we're partners in crime for this?"

"Yep. This timid flirting shit has been going on for too damn long. I'll blow my brains next time Mijoo stresses about one of Jimin's ambiguous texts."

"Dude. You do not even want to hear about the shit I go through whenever Mijoo decides to hug him or smile especially cutely or whatever crap at him. He goes on these long rants where he basically just argues with himself for hours. It's like a one-man filibuster."

You snort at the description, "Tell me about it. I just bought new noise-canceling headphones. Something needs to be done."

"Agreed. Do you have any ideas of what we can do?"

You stop to think for a moment. "…You got any more of those foam parties?"

The next weekend, you and Jungkook set your plan into motion. It's simple to the point of absurdity: you'll get the two of them drunk, then lock them in an enclosed space. Easy, peasey, case closed…

Except you didn't expect Mijoo to put up such a struggle.

"Pleaseee, Mijoo?" you whine, draping yourself all over her.

Your roommate simply flips a page in her book, "Not tonight," she tells you, "I'm really not in the mood."

"Oh, come on," you complain, "We didn't do anything this whole week!"

"Hmm. Wanna go catch a movie or something then?" She asks.

"No, I want to go the party! Why go to a boring old movie when we can dance and get free drinks?"

At that, Mijoo looks up in surprise, "I thought you were just kidding when you said you wanted to go to a BTS party, but you're serious?"

"Of course!" you exclaim, trying to play it cool, "It sounds fun."

"Really? A frat party sounds fun to you, miss ice queen?"

A bead of sweat rolls down your spine, "Uh… Yes…?"

At this, Mijoo slams her book down and turns to give you her full, undivided attention, "You want to go to a frat party? Wearing an uncomfortable, skintight dress with your face covered in makeup? Surrounded by gross fuckbois who'll stare at you like a piece of meat? Really?"

"… I'll wear pants."

Mijoo shakes her pretty head and laughs, "No, babe. If you're dragging me to this, I get to pick what you wear."

You consider it for a few moments. It is so tempting to call this off and delve in bed for the rest of the night. But you've got to do this for her own sake. "…Fine," you finally sigh, "But I get to do my own makeup."

"Only if you partner with me for beer pong."

Your face falls, "Kim Mijoo, you know as fucking well as I do that beer pong is just an excuse for gross little fuckbois to stroke their egos in such an inane competition and get defenseless girls drunk!"

Mijoo presses a finger to your lips to shut you up, "Shh. Just tell me right now if you'll accept my conditions… I refuse to go out with you tonight unless you wear one of my dresses and play beer bong with me."

On any other day, you would've kicked her ass for such ridiculous requests. But at that moment, your phone buzzes. You glance down at the screen and aren't surprised to find yet another text from Jungkook: Where the hell r u?

You turn back to Mijoo and choke down your dignity, "Ok, I'll do it."

Your roommate's eyes bulge at your unexpected submission, "Seriously, what has gotten into you?! Why are you acting so weird?"

"W-weird?" you stutter, palms slippery with sweat when it becomes apparent that she's catching on, "How so?"

But at that moment, your phone starts buzzing again. This time, you can't hide as quickly and Mijoo gasps out loud when she reads the name flashing across the screen. "Jungkook…? ___, why is Jeon Jungkook calling you right now?"

Fuck! How did you get found out so quickly? This is almost pathetic. "I… I can explain!" you stammer.

But Mijoo simply shakes her head, practically trembling with anger, "___, I cannot fucking believe you! I am your best friend!"

"I'm sorry!" you exclaim, rushing up to beg her for forgiveness, "I was doing this for your sake!"

"Really? How the fuck is lying to me about your relationship with Jeon Jungkook for my sake?!"

"I'm really sorry! I just—wait… what?"

"I seriously cannot believe you, bitch!" She exclaims, "How long have the two of you been fucking?"

"We… we… what?"

"You should've told me as soon as it happened," she whines, childishly slapping you in the side, "I knew he wouldn't have facebooked you for no reason!"

"I… I'm sorry, Mijoo," you awkwardly say, "I was just… embarrassed?" And that part isn't a lie.

"It's fine," she gruffly says, "I forgive you… But the next time you keep something from me, I'll kick your ass, got it?"

You hurriedly nod your head, "Yes, ma'am!"

"Good. Now let me go raid Jisoo's closet," she says, mentioning the sorority president.

"Wait, Jisoo?" you ask in surprise, "Why?"

"She went shopping last weekend and bought this incredible new leather dress… This is Jeon Jungkook we're talking about, babe. If you want more than just a one-night stand, then my silly old dresses aren't going to cut it. We're gonna need something sluttier."

You somehow stifle the urge to gag and force a smile instead, "You first, honey."

"Jungkook!" you cry out when you spot him lounging around the bar area, pouring himself a shot. He nearly spills the alcohol all over himself in surprise when you abruptly swing your arms around his neck in an uncharacteristic display of affection. "She thinks we're fucking," you hiss into his ear.

"What?" he whispers back, flinching under your rough embrace.

"Just play along!"

And then you step back with a forced laugh, "It's so good to see you again. Jungkook, this is my roommate, Mijoo. Mijoo this is my… uh… classmate, Jungkook."

"Nice to meet you," Jungkook says, politely taking her hand.

"You as well. I've heard… so much about you," Mijoo says with a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Is that so?" Jungkook awkwardly scratches the back of his head, "Only good things, I hope?"

Mijoo simply smirks, "I'm sure ___ will tell you all about it later… Doesn't she look great tonight?"

"Huh? What—oh," his eyes widen when he looks down and takes in your appearance for the first time. You stiffen under his scrutiny as he suddenly rakes his eyes up and down your figure. You're wearing that ridiculous skintight leather minidress borrowed from Jisoo, and your face flushes with heat when Jungkook's eyes dip to your cleavage for a second too long. He smiles when his eyes meet yours again, "She looks incredible."

Mijoo looks like that cat that ate the canary, the way she beams at the two of you, "I'll give you two a minute to talk…"

"Wait no!" You and Jungkook both shout out at the same time.

The pretty brunette girl jumps in surprise, "Uh… What's up?"

You freeze, but luckily Jungkook comes to your rescue, "You need to take a shot!" He blurts out, "House rules."

Mijoo looks a bit baffled, but smiles, nevertheless, "Oh, ok sure."

Jungkook quickly snags the bottle off the table to pour a round of shots. You smile and clink your glass against theirs in an obligatory fashion, but your eyes are rapidly scanning the room for an excuse to keep her here. You barely taste the cheap vodka as you knock it back, and it nearly comes shooting out of your nose as you notice your salvation with a cry of excitement.

"Ah! Let's play beer pong!" you exclaim, pointing excitedly at the red solo cups stacked on a long table in the center of the room.

"That's a great idea!" Jungkook agrees, catching onto your idea, "I'll grab a couple of beers."

As soon as he's gone, you grab onto Mijoo's sleeve, holding her in place, "Play with us."

"What?" her eyes widen, "But don't you want to play with him alone?"

You shake your head, "It'd be more fun if we played with partners."

"Oh… well, okay. But I don't have a partner…"

"Just give me a minute," you say, then run into the kitchen after Jungkook. He's kneeling at the foot of the fridge, loading beer cans in his arms, and relaxes at the sight of you.

"Good thinking with the beer pong," he says as he hands you a few cans, "We've gotta keep her here, no matter what it takes."

"When is Jimin coming?"

"Our dispenser broke last week, so he's on an ice run with some guys," Jungkook says, anxiously checking his phone, "By the way… What are you wearing?"

"Ah, Mijoo bullied me into it," you say, tugging at the short hem of the leather with spite, "It was the only way I could convince her to go!"

"Well, please thank her for me."

You shoot him a dirty look, "Pervert."

"What? I'm just stating a fact. You look good." Jungkook licks his lips as his eyes peruse the length of your body again, "Really good."

"Yah, my eyes are up here," you complain, grabbing him by the chin and forcing his gaze up. "Stop getting distracted, Casanova. Where is your roommate?"

"I don't know what's taking him so long," Jungkook frowns, "He should be back any—oh thank fucking god," he curses in relief when the front door opens up, revealing a handsome blonde man struggling with a bag of ice.

Jungkook runs forward to plop the beers on the table, then grabs Jimin by the collar of the shirt to haul him forward, "There you are, bro!" He exclaims loudly, "Thank god you're back! We need a fourth player for beer pong."

"Wait, Jungkook, the ice! I need to—" But his voice trails off when he sees Mijoo standing at one end of the table. "O-oh. Mijoo. I didn't know you were going to be here. Hi."

His awkward bow has Mijoo automatically bowing back, and the gesture is so out of place at a crowded frat party that it's laughable. Jungkook seems at a loss for what to do, so you hurry over to rescue him.

"Oi, Jimin!" You greet him with over the top enthusiasm, "What a coincidence running into you! How are you?"

"Great. I'm just—"

"Here to save us in our predicament?" you answer for him, "Bless you, Jimin! We really appreciate it!"

"W-what? I didn't—"

"Awesome!" Jungkook shouts out, "Jimin, be a bro and start setting up those cups over there with Mijoo. ___ and I can take it on this side."

"Wait, don't you want to partner with me, ___?" Mijoo calls out in confusion from the other end of the table.

"Nah, you girls always do that," Jungkook shrugs her off, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, "Why don't we mix things up?"

"That's a great idea, Jungkook!" you say with unnecessary fervor, "Since we just so happen to be standing next to each other right now, why don't we partner up?"

"Yeah, that seems convenient," he agrees, playing up your ploy, "So Jimin, do you mind partnering with Mijoo so she's not on her own?"

What kind of jerk would he look like if he refused? Jimin instantly nods his head up and down, "Yeah, that would be fine."

He hurries over to join Mijoo with another awkward bow, but even from where you stand, you can see the way his face lights up in the most radiant of smiles. And even when Mijoo turns her back to start filling the cups with beer, he continues to stare at her with an almost awestruck expression on his face.

Your heart tightens painfully in your chest. He looks so good tonight, with his honey blonde hair mused off his forehead and his navy shirt loosened a few buttons to reveal the smooth skin of his collarbones, creating a soft and effortless look. Mijoo, with her silky teal dress, matches him perfectly. She looks so unbelievably sweet and beautiful that it seems like the two of them have walked straight off the page of any fairytale storybook. They make such a beautiful couple.

A warm hand on your lower back makes you jerk back into reality. You look up to find Jungkook frowning at you, "Hey, you okay?"

You don't respond for a moment, blinking at the gorgeous pair across the table from you. But then the hand on your back crawls down lower. "Ah, Jungkook!" you screech, jumping away from him to slap his wandering hand off of your ass.

The dark-haired man looks genuinely puzzled by your reaction, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?!" You spit back at him, "You just grabbed my ass!"

"I thought you said you told everyone we were sleeping together," he says with a raised eyebrow, "I'm just trying to keep up the act."

His explanation does make sense… Though you highly suspect him of ulterior motives. "Fine," you reluctantly relent, "But don't squeeze it!"

"Of course not," he easily agrees, "I would never treat a work of art with such disrespect," and to emphasize his words, he slides his hand over the curve of your ass again.

You roll your eyes, "Gross." But nevertheless, you allow him to keep his hand put.

It doesn't go unnoticed by your competitors on the other side of the table. Jimin lets out a loud wolf whistle while Mijoo laughs heartily and shoots you a thumb's up, "Are you lovebirds ready?" She calls from across the table.

"Yep! Get ready to drink your heart out, roomie!" you yell back.

Jimin laughs, "What's the bet?"

You turn to whisper in Jungkook's ear, "We have to get them drunk."

"Alright. But let's make it sexy, too."

"Body shots?"

"I like the way you think, babe."

"Alright, it's settled!" you exclaim, breaking out of your impromptu huddle with Jungkook to address your competitors, "Loser has to take a body shot off their partner!"

"Wait, what?" Jimin calls back in surprise.

"___! We're already drinking a shit ton of beer!" Mijoo complains loudly.

Jungkook sticks his tongue out at them, "You scared, children?"

Jimin stiffens under the insult, "No way. You're on! But winner gets to set up the shots."

"Perfect. I'm going to stick a shot glass up her vagina for Jimin to get to," you whisper in Jungkook's ear.

He blinks once, "You are kind of disgusting… I think I like you."

"Since you lovebirds are so distracted, I guess we'll go first," Mijoo calls out with a laugh.

"Bring it on, little girl!" You yell back.

She shoots you a dirty look before tossing the pingpong ball… The splashing sound of the ball hitting the beer in the cup makes the smile slide off your face. Mijoo whoops with excitement and happily high-fives a beaming Jimin.

Your heart drops to your stomach, "Jungkook, please tell me you're good at this game…"

"I'm the undefeated champ of BTS!" He proudly exclaims, "Don't worry, babe. We've got this."

You hesitantly smile back, "Alright. If you say so…"

Less than fifteen minutes later, you're horrified to find a single cup hovering on the edge of your side of the table while half a dozen remain on Mijoo and Jimin's side.

"I thought you were a beer pong champ," you angrily hiss at Jungkook.

"Hey! I made four of the shots!"

"And missed the other seven."

He glares at you, "And how many did you make, princess?"

You scowl back, "Yeah, but I didn't claim to be a beer pong god, now did I?"

"Stop it. You're making me lose my focus," he says as he squints at the row of red solo cups, pingpong ball in hand.

"Who cares? There's no way you can get six cups in a row while they get none. It's over, kid."

"Will you just shut up?" He gripes, dropping his hand to his side as he turns to face you.

Across the table, Mijoo and Jimin heartily boo him, "Just give it up, Jeon!"

"You guys suck!"

"I don't!" Jungkook defends himself, "___ is just bringing me down!"

You glower at that, "When we lose, I'm going to make you take the shot out of my asshole."

"You know I'd only enjoy that, sweet cheeks."

Your mouth drops in indignation, "Jeon Jungkook!"

But he's already turned back to your competition with faux swagger, "Hey guys, have you ever heard of the movie The Comeback Kid?" He cockily calls out.

Jimin and Mijoo exchange a perplexed look, "The what?"

Jungkook's mouth curls into an arrogant smile as he aims for the circle of red solo cups remaining on their side of the table, "The Comeback—oh fuck!" He curses loudly as the pingpong ball hits the rim of the middle cup before bouncing away.

Jimin and Mijoo burst into laughter at his expense, "What was that?!"

The dark-haired man sheepishly rubs the back of his head, "That went more smoothly in my mind."

At his side, you bury your face in your hands and wail, "We're ruined!"

"Ok, it's my turn!" Mijoo cries out, "If I make this, then you guys lose."

"You're not going to make it," you shoot back, waving your hand back and forth in front of the remaining red solo cup on your side in an attempt to distract her, "You're going to choke, girl!"

"Choke, choke, choke!" Jungkook helpfully chants next to you.

Mijoo rolls her eyes, "You guys are so immature," and with that, she tosses the pingpong ball with a perfect flick of her wrist.

All four of you are dead silent as you watch the little white ball soar through the air in slow motion. The ball hits the rim for a moment, spinning…

Then it falls over and plops into the beer.

"I fucked up," Jungkook whispers in a small voice.

You can only groan softly in response as you pluck the pingpong ball out and down the remaining cup of beer, "You shouldn't have made her angry…"

On the other end, Mijoo and Jimin whoop with excitement and Jimin lifts your roommate straight off her feet to swing her in a wide circle in an impromptu victory celebration. Her exuberant peals of laughter echo in your mind. They both look so happy…

"Here's your lime," Jungkook interrupts your musing.

You take the slice from him with a sigh, "How did we fuck up so hard?"

"Hey, at least it seems like they're bonding."

"… Do you think they'll forget about us? I drank so much that I think my body is more beer than water at this point."

"No way. It looks like they're scheming right now," Jungkook says, pointing over to where Mijoo whispers conspiratorially into Jimin's ear while the blonde man looks at you guys and laughs.

"… We are so fucked."

And true to your prediction, minutes later, Jimin's laying his roommate out across the table while Mijoo happily sprinkles salt on his bare chest. The two of them had forcibly divested him of his shirt moments ago, while you hid behind a group of sorority sisters on the dance floor, wondering if it was too late to make your escape.

Unfortunately, before you can turn and run, Mijoo spots you squatting in the shadow of a tall blonde girl, and weaves between the bodies on the dance floor to drag you out.

"Hurry, ___," Jimin laughingly calls you over, "Jungkook's probably really uncomfortable right now."

Still, you can't help but drag your feet as you reluctantly join them, "This is ridiculous," you grumble to yourself, "We're causing a scene!"

"Don't be a sore loser," Mijoo chides you, "This was your idea!"

"Yeah, but that's because I thought we would win!"

"Oh, come on, ___. Don't be like this," Jungkook complains loudly, "You should consider yourself lucky right now," he says, emphasizing his words with a flex of his abs.

You roll your eyes and shove the slice of lime in his mouth to shut him up, "Yeah yeah, whatever, pervert. Mijoo, hand me the shot." But she simply shakes her head and giggles. Frowning at her strange behavior, you turn to Jimin instead, "Yah. Gimme the tequila already so we can get this over with."

"Of course," Jimin sweetly obliges and takes the bottle to begin pouring. But to your utmost horror, he doesn't aim for the shot glass in your hand, but instead, the tawny skin of Jungkook's stomach.

Your jaw hangs as you watch the smooth amber liquid trickle to collect at his belly button and the muscled crevices of his abs. "You motherfuckers!"

"You better drink it all up or we'll pour out another one," Mijoo sweetly informs you, "And next time, we'll be taking off his pants."

"No, no, this is fine!" You hastily wave your hands at her, "Thank you for your generosity…" And then you make your way to stand at Jungkook's side, trying to ignore the way Mijoo and Jimin giggle and whisper amongst themselves as they watch you. Mijoo's probably filled Jimin's mind with nonsense about your nonexistent relationship with Jungkook… This whole scheme is failing miserably.

"Hurry and do it," Jungkook mumbles around a mouthful of lime.

You glare at him as you shove his legs apart to stand between them. Despite your best intention, he looks incredibly good half-naked and spread out for you, and you can't help the way your mouth waters. Of course this cocky fuckboi just had to have the body of a greek god. Fucking typical.

Sighing deeply, you lean down and demurely pick up a lick of salt from his clavicle using just the tip of your tongue… But then there's the overflowing tequila to take care of. Most of it is pooled in his belly button, which you quickly suck up. But there's plenty left spilled across his abs and trickling down the sides. Fuck you, Mijoo, you curse her bitterly in your head as you begin suckling lightly at his skin, trying your best to keep from using your tongue. But it's really hard to keep your concentration when his delicious abdominal muscles keep clenching underneath your light touch… You've never been in such close proximity to such defined abs before. It's fucking unfair.

You quickly finish up, wincing at the acidic taste of tequila in your mouth, then lean down to snag the lime from Jungkook's mouth. Mijoo and Jimin cheer you on the entire time, shouting at you to kiss him. Luckily, you aren't as drunk as you had feared, and you manage to successfully sink your teeth into the fruit without brushing his lips at all.

You pull back after a second and irritably spit the lime slice into your hand, "There, all done. Are you happy?"

The two of them seem disappointed by the clinical nature of the body shot. "Wait, Jungkook still has to do his!" Mijoo suddenly pipes up, expression brightening again.

Your beer pong partner slides off the table while slowly pulling his shirt back on, "I don't think ___ would be as pleased if you stripped her bare in front of everyone," he wryly comments, "Not that I'd mind, of course."

"Don't worry," Mijoo grins as she grabs your hand to shove you against the table, "I have an idea…"

A second later, Jimin is rubbing salt against the curve of your neck while Mijoo critically examines your cleavage, looking for the best spot to put the alcohol.

"Would you be really mad at me if I poured this all over your boobs?"

"Do you want to die?" you darkly mutter.

"Try her ass instead," Jungkook oh-so-helpfully pipes up.

You turn to chew him out as well, but at that moment, Jimin strokes his fingers through your hair, trying to brush off a bit of salt that has ended up there, and your voice dies in your throat at the feeling of his gentle fingers caressing your skull.

"The salt isn't sticking," he mumbles, mostly to himself. Then, to your surprise, he licks his fingers to moisten them, and smooths them under your jaw. The sensitive skin there immediately breaks into goosebumps, and you pray that the blonde man doesn't notice when he sprinkles on the salt.

"Ok, I guess we'll just have to deal with it here," Mijoo sighs as she gives up and sticks the shot glass between your breasts.

You're still too distracted by Jimin's fingers in your hair to pay any attention to the situation until Jungkook roughly shoves the blonde man aside, "Thanks for preparing her." And then he descends upon you, lips latching onto your neck with no preamble.

You gasp softly at the feeling of his hot mouth against your hyper-aroused skin. Unlike you, he has no sense of propriety as he greedily lays open-mouthed kisses against your neck, sucking harder than necessary to pick up the small scattering of salt. A hickie will surely form by the morning as an incessant reminder of this failed night.

"What are you doing, Jeon?" you groan when his mouth drifts too high, snagging your earlobe between his teeth and gently nipping in a way that has unspeakable sensations coursing down your spine.

"Hmm?" He flicks his tongue against your thoroughly bruised neck one last time before trailing kisses down your collarbones to your cleavage instead, where the shot glass nestles between your breasts.

Embarrassment colors your face red when you realize that Mijoo and Jimin are watching with identical pervy grins on their faces. Mijoo has been trying to get you laid since Freshman year, so her behavior is as you would have expected, but not Jimin's. When you first met the blonde man in your econ project group last year, you would've never imagined the kind, sincere man to be cheering on his fuckboi roommate as he messily slurps around your cleavage. You have no right to feel this way, but still, your heart sinks to your stomach.

At that moment, Jungkook pulls away from your chest to knock back the rest of the shot. He noisily smacks his lips before focusing his eyes on the lime slice in your mouth. You recognize that hungry expression on his face all too well, and move your head away right as he attacks. As a result, his lips only brush yours in the slightest of kisses before you pull back, leaving Jungkook to suck on the sour slice of fruit in annoyance.

"I want a rematch," you demand at once.

"Are you sure, ___?" Jimin laughs, "You only made one cup last time."

"That was just the practice round," you brush him off, "This is for real now."

"Well, I'm not sure if it's worth the trouble," Mijoo says, pretending to yawn, "It's so boring if we win every time."

Your eyes narrow at her cocky attitude, "Why? You scared you'll get beat this time?"

She raises an eyebrow, "Not in the least."

"Fine. Then care to make another wager?"

"Sure. But this time, we get to pick the punishment."

"Oh, you're so on."

"But let me warn you, roomie: this time, the punishment will be twice as bad… Still care to play with us? Even though it's obvious the two of you will lose?" Mijoo asks, eyeing you and Jungkook unimpressed.

You hesitate, suddenly nervous about the ordeal. It would obviously make more sense to change the game to something you and Jungkook have a chance at winning. But before you can pitch this idea, Jungkook suddenly jumps to action.

"That's a great idea!"

Unsurprisingly, you find yourself locked in a closet with Jungkook less than half an hour later, two shots of tequila resting on the ground between you.

"This fucking sucks."

"You didn't make a single cup this time, ___... How is it possible that you got even worse?" Jungkook quips as he folds his long legs underneath himself in the cramped space.

You flinch when his legs brush yours, "I was counting on you, partner."

"Well, we definitely failed… Do you think they're at least bonding by laughing at us?"

"I never knew you were a silver linings kind of guy, Jungkook," you say with a wry smile.

"Hey, you've gotta make the best of what you have… speaking of which… since everyone thinks we're making out in here anyways… Do you think we should just—?"

"No."

"Buzzkill," Jungkook sighs before checking his phone for the time, "We still have six minutes to go. How am I supposed to kill the time then?"

"Silent reflection on all your past misdoings?" You sarcastically offer.

"Somehow I feel like making out would be a lot more fun," he says as he slowly runs his tongue over his bottom lip.

"Do you only ever think with your dick?" you groan, "You definitely weren't like this when we met up at the coffee shop. Otherwise I would've never proposed this team up! What happened to you?"

"To me? I think you mean what happened to you. You definitely were not this hot when we met up two days ago. Trust me. I would've noticed."

"Men are such simple creatures," you roll your eyes, "All it takes is a bit of makeup and cleavage, and you're drooling all over yourselves."

"What, am I supposed to lie and say that I'm seduced by your charming personality?" Jungkook snorts, "It's not like I'm asking for your hand in marriage here, sweetheart."

"Well, at least you're honest," you say with a ghost of a smile on your face, "You're a bit better than all the other fuckbois."

"I'm way better," he insists, indignant at the comparison, "I won't feed you lies and lead you on just to get in your pants. I'm upfront about what I want."

"And what exactly is that?"

He flashes you a brilliant smile that has you momentarily reeling, "To have a good time."

"Gross," you say, but you can't help but laugh.

He takes that as a good sign and pushes forward to test his luck, "I'm going to be blunt, ___. You look fucking hot in that dress and I'm incredibly attracted to you. If you wanna have a bit of fun tonight, then I promise I won't let you down."

You don't doubt his words. Jeon Jungkook is infamous, not only among his frat brothers, but across the entire campus for his alleged sexual prowess. And even if he wasn't great in bed, well, he's gorgeous. You saw how he looked shirtless, with his abs glistening from the liquid pooling across his stomach and chest. You'd be lucky to even lay your hands on this god-like man.

You shake your head with a laugh and press a shot of tequila to his hand, "Shut up and drink your shot."

Jungkook sighs deeply as he accepts the drink, "I'm disappointed, but not surprised. I'm not your type, am I?"

You watch as he knocks back the drink with a smack of his lips. He clearly has experience in drinking the harsh, astringent alcohol. "How could you tell?" You pick up your own shot glass, only to realize that there's nothing in the small supply closet to chase it down with, "Damn, do you have a chaser or something?"

But as you search around the closet, Jungkook suddenly reaches over to snatch the shot glass from your hand. Before you can question him, he slams your shot of tequila back as well. You watch his thick adam's apple bob in his throat in bewilderment, "Hey, what was that for?"

Jungkook winces as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand then tosses the empty glass aside, "You've been drinking a lot, ___. Don't want you to get too wasted."

"I'm only buzzed," you complain, "What is this sudden bout of consideration? You're not seriously trying to pretend to be a gentleman, are you?"

"Nope. I just don't want you drunk… So you'll be in the right mindset to give me consent at the end of the night," he says, emphasizing his bold statement with a smug grin.

Your jaw drops, "You cocky ass motherfucker!"

He laughs at your dramatic response, "Yeah, yeah. I know what you're going to say. It's never gonna happen because I'm not your type, huh?"

"Damn right."

"Well, since your roommate is snatching up Jimin, it looks like I'm all you have left."

Your blood runs cold at his unexpected statement, "Wait… what did you say?"

"Jimin," Jungkook repeats, cocking his head to the side as he examines your reaction, "He's your type, isn't he?"

"What would make you say that?" You ask in a subdued voice, trying your best not to reveal any emotion.

"I saw the way you were looking at him. Like you wanted to eat him up… It's the same way I look at you, probably," he laughs, "He's totally your style."

"Park Jimin is cute and extremely kind," you admit in a quiet voice, "But my best friend likes him. So it's pointless to dwell upon the impossible."

"Huh… So you like the cute type? I can be cute, too," Jungkook insists with a little pout.

The breath that you had been holding whooshes out at once. You can't help but laugh at his statement, "You don't know how to give up, do you?"

He grins back, about to offer an undoubtedly perverted response, when the door suddenly bursts open, "Surpriseee—oh wait. Mijoo, they're not fooling around."

"What?!" Your roommate bounces up to glance over Jimin's shoulder in surprise, "What the hell guys?!"

You irritably rise to your feet before pulling Jungkook along with you, "Come on, let's get out of here. I need another drink." Then you rudely brush between the two of them and haul Jungkook by the hand to the bar.

The frat party is in full swing at this point, every inch and crevice of the house jammed to the max with people, making it almost impossible to move. To conserve space, Jungkook molds himself to your backside, hands splayed on your hips to guide you. "Ugh, there's too many people here," you say in annoyance, "I bet you're all out of alcohol too."

"Yeah, probably… Wait, I know! Jimin and I have a stash in our room."

You glance over your shoulder to flash him a look of suspicion, "This isn't just an excuse to get me alone in your room, is it?"

"Of course not! How could you possibly think that of me?" Jungkook asks, clutching his chest in faux indignation, "… though if you did want to do something other than drink, I wouldn't complain…"

"Shut up, playboy, and get me a drink."

"Yes, ma'am."

Moments later, the two of you sit side by side on his bed, sipping lukewarm beers, as you try to re-strategize.

"Are you any good at card games?" You ask Jungkook.

"I have the worst luck," he says, "What about something more simple? Truth or dare?"

"I think they'd see through our ruse at once," you sigh, "What about quarters?"

"If you can't bounce a pingpong ball, I highly doubt you can bounce a quarter," Jungkook laughs.

You bristle at that, "Fine, you got any hot ideas then, beer pong champ?"

"Things are getting pretty heated on the dance floor," he says, peeking out of the half-open door, "We should get them to grind together."

"Mijoo can't dance for shit," you sigh, "We're ruined… And now the whole world is going to think that we're fucking."

"You say it like that's a bad thing," he retorts.

"It is. I don't want to be seen as easy… In fact… If anyone catches us in here, they might get the wrong idea…" and with that, you get up to close the door.

"___, wait!" Jungkook calls out, grabbing you by the wrist before you can get up.

You look down at him in confusion, "What?"

"Don't shut the door! Are you crazy?"

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"Wait… Do you seriously not know how these doors work?" He asks, staring at you incredulously.

"What do you mean?"

"Ah, now it's becoming clear that you're not used to the frat scene… ___, all the houses on this row were constructed in the early 1900s. Most of the infrastructure has been reinforced, but there are some parts of the houses that are completely untouched."

"Yeah. So what?"

"That means these doors are from like 1920."

"So are they messed up? Do they not work?"

"They do, but they're just weird. For the bedrooms, they lock from the outside."

"From the outside? Really?"

Jungkook nods his head, "Yeah. That's why during a large party like this, we've got to be more careful. Who knows what kind of drunk people could stumble around, messing with the door knobs? We could accidentally get locked in. It's happened more than enough times."

"Isn't there a key?"

"There's a master key with Namjoon," he says, referencing the frat president, "But it's so noisy in here, it could take hours before anyone finds out that someone's trapped."

"Ah, ok. Thanks for warning me, then. I don't know what I'd do if we were stuck here together for hours," you say with a shiver of disgust.

"Hmm. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad…" Jungkook thoughtfully muses, "We'd be so bored, we'd have no choice but to hook up…"

You glance at him warily, "Don't get any ideas in that filthy mind of yours, Jeon."

"Of course not," he sweetly replies, "But you have to admit that getting locked up here together seems like the perfect setup to any ridiculous chick flick… hey wait a minute…" he says, a frown forming on his handsome face as a new thought occurs to him.

The epiphany hits you at almost the precise same time. Your eyes widen comically and you dive forward to grab Jungkook's hand, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Fuck yeah!"

"Jimin, Mijoo, you guys have got to see this!" Jungkook exclaims, ushering them up the stairs.

"Wait what? Jungkookie, what's going on?" Jimin asks in utter bewilderment.

"No time to explain, just hurry!"

"___?" Mijoo calls your name in confusion, "What's this about?"

But you hurriedly shush her and push her forward with both hands, "Shush, I'll explain later!" And with that, you and Jungkook forcibly throw your roommates into the bedroom.

"Why are we here, Jungkook?" Jimin asks, glancing around their shared bedroom in confusion.

But Jungkook only grins devilishly at the older man. "Sorry, Mijoo!" you yell out before you slam the door shut in their faces.

The two of them burst into hysterics at once, charging at the door and fumbling with the knob, but it doesn't budge. Through the wall, you can hear their angry curses and threats, but you and Jungkook hold firm.

"Wow, that was easy," you say as you high-five the dark-haired man.

"Yeah, we should've just done that from the start."

"Good job, partner in crime!" You beam. Then you pause. "Wait. Now what?"

Jungkook blinks twice before responding, "I don't know…"

"Huh… I guess we wait?" You suggest, awkwardly lowering to the ground to make yourself comfortable.

"I guess we do," Jungkook says, plopping to the ground as well and resting his back against the door.

"Oh, she's very creative with her insults," you remark as you listen to Mijoo liken your entire family lineage to swines, up to your ancestors' ancestors.

Jungkook is receiving the same treatment right next to you, "And how is being a beefcake an insult, Park Jimin?!"

"Come on, Jungkook," you say, offering him your hand, "Let's just leave them alone."

"Wait, what?!" Mijoo's muffled scream comes from behind the door, "If you dare fucking leave me trapped in here, I swear to god I'm going to fucking—"

But you and Jungkook have already walked away.

"Do you think it's been enough time?" you ask, half an hour and another failed game of beer pong, later.

Jungkook hiccups, clearly suffering from the backlash of one too many beers, before responding, "Probably not… They have months of sexual tension to work out… Knowing those nerds, they're probably going to talk about their feelings until dawn."

"Still, we should check on them," you say, gnawing on your bottom lip with concern, "What if something's happened to them?"

"Ah, it'll defeat the purpose if we let them escape now," Jungkook protests, "And they'll probably be too embarrassed to ever talk again."

"Ok, then we won't let them out. Just let me poke my head in there and make sure they're breathing, okay?" you persuade him.

"Alright… Fine," he reluctantly agrees, "But get ready to run as soon as they see us."

"I'm quick, don't worry," you assure him as the two of you climb up the stairs to the bedroom he shares with Jimin.

"Ok… But if Mijoo escapes and kicks your ass… I won't be held accountable."

You shoot him a dirty look, "Just worry about your own ass, Jeon. Jimin's a lot stronger than Mijoo… Speaking of which… Why aren't they fighting their way out?" You ask as you stop and press your ear to the door.

"Huh?" Confused, Jungkook leans over you to listen in as well, but he's also met with silence. "What do you think's going on in there?"

"No clue… They couldn't have escaped, right?"

"No way," Jungkook vehemently shakes his head, "And if they did, we wouldn't be alive right now."

"That's true," you say, pressing your ear closer to the wood, "Then what could they be doing? Do you think they fell asleep?"

"That's possible."

"Ok, I'm going to open the door a crack. Get ready to run, Jeon."

He nods, immediately sinking into a crouching position, "Got it."

You take a deep breath for strength, then slowly twist the lock on the handle, trying to make as little noise as possible as to not set the expecting couple on the other side off. You're almost positive that they're lurking on the other side of the door, just waiting for the opportune moment to spring. You gulp, then carefully twist the door knob open.

With your heart pounding in your chest, you push the door forward a few inches—just enough to get a glimpse of what lies within. Then your heart slides to an abrupt stop.

Mijoo and Jimin are sitting side by side on the bed. Her hands are demurely folded in her lap and his are bunched up in the bedding. There's a modest space between their bodies, and at first glance, one might mistake this as a platonic encounter. But there's no misinterpreting the way Jimin's plush pink lips caress Mijoo's in the sweetest of kisses.

If feels like your heart has dropped to your feet, and you stumble back a few steps, nearly crashing into an equally as shocked Jungkook.

"Holy fuck," he whispers, "These nerds are making out!"

You quickly slap a hand over Jungkook's mouth, terrified that he might disrupt them, "Shut up," you whisper, dragging him far away from your roommates.

"I can't believe our plan actually worked!" Jungkook exclaims as soon as you remove your hand from his mouth.

"Yeah," is your quiet response.

"Damn, we should've just done this in the first place!"

"Mm maybe."

"But seriously though. I would have never imagined these squares to make out in public without a marriage contract or something," he laughs, "Do you think they're gonna be an official thing soon?"

"Most likely," you say, barely paying attention to him anymore as you pull up your phone to call an uber.

"Wait, are you going somewhere, ___?" Jungkook asks, picking up on your distraction at once.

"Yeah. It looks like Mijoo's keeping herself busy, so I'll go home alone," you say, praying that you've managed to keep the bitterness out of your tone.

"Alright. Let's go then."

That unexpected statement makes you stop in your tracks, "What are you talking about? Jungkook, what makes you think that you're invited?"

He gives you a pointed look, "Are you forgetting that Jimin and I are roommates? I have nobly sacrificed my room to get my bro laid. And now I have nowhere to go. The least you can do is let me crash in your room."

You pause for a moment, "Won't there be empty room in this house?"

"During a party?" he snorts, "Good luck not stumbling across an orgy in every crevice."

"What about a couch?"

"Are you kidding me?! Look at those nasty kids dry humping on it right now," he says, wildly gesturing across the room, "What kind of diseases will I catch?!"

"Fine," you sigh, in no mood to argue with him for a moment longer, "But you're sleeping on the floor."

His irritation instantly dissipates as he smiles widely, "Fine by me."

"Don't you dare make a sound until we're in my room," you warn him outside the sorority house as you fish for your key.

"Doesn't everyone already think that we're hooking up?" he points out, "What's the big deal?"

"It's not everyone. Only Mijoo thinks so. I don't want to be the talk of the entire sorority."

"Why would this be such a scandal?" he continues to argue, "I haven't slept with anyone in this sorority! …Well… at least I don't think I have…" he pauses to scratch his head in confusion.

"See? This is exactly why I don't want those rumors about us to spread."

"And what's wrong with those rumors? It's the twenty-first century. Your worth as a woman isn't defined by your purity or whatever bullshit. And I'm not as bad as you make me out to be!"

You ignore him, "Just stay silent," you warn him, and with that, you unlock the door and pull him inside.

It's a little past two in the morning, so unsurprisingly, the sorority house is dark and as silent as a grave. This is in stark contrast with the obnoxious frat party with the overflowing beer kegs and the neon strobe lights, and you feel like you can finally breathe again. Rolling out your sore shoulders, you tiredly lead Jungkook up the stairs and into the room you share with Mijoo.

"Do you need to shower?" you ask Jungkook as you lock the door behind you.

"Yes, please! You didn't do that body shot very well, and I still have tequila all over my stomach. I should wash it off… Unless you want to-?"

You throw a towel in his face before he can complete his undoubtedly perverted sentence, "The bathroom's through that door on the right. You're lucky my suite mates are out of town this weekend. Or else you'd give everyone a heart attack."

"You girls get your own in-suite bathroom?" he repeats in shock, "Why did I rush BTS? I would happily be a sister for this luxury."

You're too worn out to dignify that with an answer, "My shower caddy is on the nightstand."

It's not until he's gone until you finally realize how alone you are. The beta tau sigma frat house was crammed with partiers and you couldn't hear your own voice over the obnoxiously loud music. The entire time, you were too busy running around with Jungkook trying to strategize to even collect your thoughts. But now… In the silent house with all your sorority sisters dead asleep…

Your ears ring with echoes of the booming music from the party, and the bitter taste of tequila lingers on your tongue, but you suddenly feel acutely sober. And in the empty room, all pent up emotions finally spill over. You roll over to bury your face in the pillows on your bed as you try to straighten out your unstable whirlwind of feelings.

For the past month, you've been thinking up of strategies to get Mijoo and Jimin together. You had thought that you matured—that your love for your best friend was stronger than any selfish concern for yourself. You had somehow convinced yourself of your own superiority over any petty human emotions. But unfortunately, you aren't the altruistic saint you wish you could be. You suffer from the same human emotions that plague everyone. And they aren't pretty.

The feeling that stands out the most is jealousy. The boy who you have liked for the past year… slipped between your fingers like sand. Not that you stood a chance. A man like Jimin… Such a genuine, loving soul. People like you don't deserve him. He's meant for goddesses like Mijoo. Girls who command the attention of any room they walk into. Girls who inspire art and ardent love songs. It's illogical for you to even feel jealous. You weren't even a player on the field—you were a stagehand, watching the play unfold from a distance and never able to join.

Despite what the artists and poets claim, the world works in a logical way. It's a simple mathematical formula. Girls like Mijoo end up with their princes. And you remain a bitter stepsister, helpless but to watch their happily ever after from a distance. One that you'll never achieve.

Jealousy is a powerful emotion, but not nearly as strong as anguish. Because this isn't Mijoo's fault. How could she have known that you had wanted Jimin since the moment you set eyes on him? How could she have imagined that a bitter wrench like yourself could desire something so above your level? It's not her fault that you weren't good enough… You're happy for her. You really are. She's your best friend and she deserves the best… But what about you?

The feeling of helplessness bubbles up your throat, and suddenly you can't breathe. The dress you've borrowed is too tight. The excessive makeup you've plastered on your face to pretend to be someone else, someone better, feels suffocating. You grab the wipes off your dresser and immediately start scrubbing at your face, wincing when salty tears flood the fabric along with your heavy makeup.

As soon as you finish, you gasp for air, then yank at the zipper on the back of your dress. It's not until the leather pools at your feet that you can breathe again.

And that's how Jungkook finds you, decked in just your underwear gasping for breath on your bed.

"Damn," he says, taken aback by the visuals, but unable to keep from checking you out, "Is this how you usually go to bed?"

Your head snaps up at his approach. He's standing in the middle of your room, shamelessly naked except for the towel slung haphazardly across his hips.

"Are you sure you want me to sleep on the floor?" he asks, running a hand through his wet hair so that beads of water slide down his collars to his prominent abdominal muscles, "You look awfully cold in that bed all by yourself, babe."

Your skin bristles at his sexually suggestive words. You had no issue brushing off his come-ons all evening. But now… with you in such a vulnerable position…

Here is a man who actually wants you. Not you, but your body, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone might actually desire you… And not just anyone. This is the man that makes all the girls in your writing seminar giggle and whisper to themselves when he walks into the room. Women would kill themselves to get at him and he wants you. Not in the way you want… But at this point, you don't care.

"Jungkook," you whisper as you rise to your feet. His eyes immediately scan the exposed skin of your chest and thighs.

"Mmm?" he says with a lascivious lick of his lips.

You cross the room in three long strides, startling him with your sudden approach, "Okay," you sigh as you rest your hands on his bare stomach. You watch with interest as his muscles flex under your light touch, "Let's do it."

Jungkook's eyes bulge, "W-wait what? Are you serious?"

At that, you slip your hand under his towel and abruptly grab his dick, "Does it sound like I'm joking?"

The dark-haired man gulps at that, his adam's apple bobbing up and down in his throat, "I… ___, what's gotten into you?" He looks a bit worried, but can't help but instantly harden in your hand.

You brush off his concern as you stroke his growing length, examining the way his pupils dilate and his breathing stutters, "Go lie down on the bed."

So startled by your unexpected dominance, Jungkook instinctively obeys, irritably untying the towel from his waist and flinging it across the room before flopping onto the mattress. "This is insane," he laughs, running a hand through his damp hair as he waits for you to join him.

You pluck a condom out of the nightstand, and shimmy out of your underwear before crawling onto the bed after him.

"I can't believe this is actually happening," Jungkook marvels as he sits up to reach for you.

You grab his wrist before he can make contact, "Just lie down and wait a minute."

Confused, Jungkook slowly lies back down, but props himself up on his elbows so that he can watch you, "___... you're not some kind of weird sadist, are you?" he asks, playfully trying to make light of the situation.

But you simply shoot him another glare, "Just shut up and hold still." And with that, you grab his dick again, giving him an impromptu handjob to keep him complacent as you prepare the condom.

"Oh god," he groans, "Your hands are fucking amazing."

His compliment sparks warmth in your hollow chest. You hastily roll the condom on, then reach for the bottle of lube from your top drawer to coat him in the slick fluid. Jungkook openly moans his appreciation the entire time, clearly still buzzed from too many tequila shots and disinhibited. In the morning, he might be embarrassed about how vocal he was in bed, but for now, you will relish this treat.

Once he's lubricated from base to tip, you quickly straddle him and position his tip to your entrance. Before you can sit down, a hand grabs your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

"Wait, ___, I haven't even touched you yet," Jungkook says in a hushed whisper, his brow furrowing in concern, "Why don't you let me go down on—oh fuck!" his words break off into a strangled cry when you abruptly drop down, taking his full length in one fell swoop.

He feels so thick inside of you that for a moment, the hole in your chest is filled. It's been so long since you've last had sex that you can't move for a few seconds, needing the extra time to adjust.

"I thought I wasn't your type, huh?" Jungkook's playful voice breaks the brief moment of silence, "What happened to that, ___?"

Your mouth twists in annoyance. Right when you were getting into it, he had to ruin things. "Shut up," you growl before lifting your hips and violently slamming down on him.

His cocky attitude dissipates at once, replaced entirely by desperation as his hands shoot out to grab your hips. Your hard pace falters at the feeling of his fingers digging into your soft skin. He tries to guide your motions, hands molding to your ass as he slows down your rapid speed and instead making your thrusts slower, deeper. His strength is otherworldly, and within seconds, he's practically doing all the work himself, raising and lowering you on his dick like you're a mere ragdoll in his hands. That won't do.

The copious amount of beer and tequila you've consumed tonight makes it difficult to think, but once you've come to your senses, you hastily slap his hands off of you. He looks confused and makes a motion as if to reach for you again, so you quickly weave your fingers between his and lock your joined hands on either side of his head. When you lean all of your weight onto your interlocked hands, you have him trapped on the mattress, and regain control of the situation.

Using his hands as leverage, you forgo the leisurely strokes he prefers and ride him with vigor, determined to get off as quickly as possible. Your pace turns shallow and rapid-fire when you find that one spot that has his dick brushing your g-spot and his pelvis grinding into your clit with every stroke.

Jungkook manages to get his moaning under control, but can't prevent the ragged, staccato quality of his breathing. His harsh pants and muffled grunts sound so sexy and he feels so delicious filling you up to the brim that if you close your eyes, you can almost imagine that he is someone else. So you squeeze your eyes shut as tightly as you can, focusing all of your attention on the feeling of complete fullness in your core.

It feels so fucking good that you never want it to stop. You wish you could cling onto this feeling forever so you'll never feel empty again.

But at that moment, Jungkook unexpectedly shifts his hips so that he slams directly into your g-spot. You pause for a moment, stunned by the explosion of pleasure that bursts across your senses. You tether on the line for a moment, fighting it back, but it's too late, and your climax washes over you like a wave.

Jungkook gasps at the feeling of you tightening around him, and before you can stop him, he pulls his hands out of your tight grip to grab your hips. With a half dozen more desperate surges forward into your heat, he groans deeply and releases into the condom.

It takes you a full minute to recover from your high. Then you roll off of him to flop lifelessly on the bed. Both of you wince when his spent length slips out of your heat. As soon as he leaves your body, the empty feeling encroaches again. You press both hands tightly to your chest, but it does nothing to fill the void.

"Wow, that was great," Jungkook says as he leisurely stretches his arms above his head before disposing of the condom.

You say nothing in response, gazing aimlessly at Mijoo's empty bed across the room.

Jungkook pauses in scavenging for his abandoned clothing to frown at you, "Are you okay?"

You cringe when he suddenly rejoins you on the bed, arms surrounding your waist to pull you against him in an unexpected hug. Somehow, this feels more intimate than sex. You would've never expected a player like Jungkook to engage in this kind of post-coital skinship.

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're a cuddler," you grumble as you twist in his embrace.

"I'm not," he denies, but the way he buries his nose in your hair says otherwise, "And don't think about asking me to stay the night, because I'm not that kind of guy."

You grimace at the very thought, "I don't even want you here right now. But I thought you needed somewhere to sleep?"

He grins at that, "I thought you knew me better than to take anything I said seriously?"

"Ugh. I should've known… All you fuckboys are the same."

He chuckles at your reaction, "Just give me a kiss and I'll leave."

You hurriedly twist your head to the side before his lips can make contact with yours, "Gross."

"We just fucked, and you think a kiss is gross?" Jungkook asks incredulously.

"Yeah. Don't kiss me," you say, irritably shoving at his shoulder to try to create distance between the two of you.

Jungkook snorts as he obediently rolls out of your bed, "I thought girls liked this kind of touchy feely bullshit. You're so weird."

"I do like it, but not from you," you shoot back.

"Ouch, babe," he says with a shake of his head as he tugs on his boxers and jeans, "What does Jimin have that I don't?"

He means it in a teasing way. He's not serious… There's no way he knows how close to home his comment hit. But still… you can't help but bristle in response, "Manners."

Jungkook bursts into laughter at the insult, "I'm really not the bad guy you make me out to be. If you'd get to know me, you'd see that."

"I don't want to get to know you," is your blunt response.

Jungkook's smile widens, "I'm glad that we're on the same page, then," he says as he slips his shirt over his head, "I won't call you."

"Good," you retort as you watch him slip his phone into his pocket and walk out the door without a second glance, "I'm blocking your number."

He lets you have the last word as he shakes his head in amusement and closes the door behind him. And then you're all alone in the empty room, left wondering what Mijoo and Jimin are doing on the other side of town.

A/N: So this chapter might be longer than any full length fic i’ve ever written... Yikes. 

As always, please don’t ask me about updates! You’ll find out more about the plot and the reason for the title in the following chapters ^^

But I definitely recommend that you listen to New Rules by Dua Lipa and download the podcast “Just Sex” by NPR Hidden Brain. They are what inspired this fic! 

[verdigrisprowl]

Feb 27 @ Soundwave’s Bar - Arsenic and Old Lace

This movie was a weird mix of completely hilarious and extremely uncomfortable. Prowl liked it, but he would have liked it a lot better with all mentions of sanitariums cut out.

NoodlesAtNight: *You all know the drill. Video wall set up, movable furniture, snacks, all that.* NoodlesAtNight: *Soundwave is already dropped into his usual spot.* FakeProwl: *claims his usual seat* NoodlesAtNight: *A greeting ping and nod* FakeProwl: *nods back* chronosmith: 9(A THEREMIN)) chronosmith: ((one of my favorite bands uses these in concert sometimes)) Getaway: ((snif yelled at me to bring getaway)) chronosmith: ((NO IT WAS A GENTLE ASK)) chronosmith: (i yelled the name "CAREY GRANT")) Getaway: ((SUCH AGGRESSION it was)) chronosmith: ((how dare u )) chronosmith: *trots on in and takes what he has come to think of as his usual seat* NoodlesAtNight: *Another nod for Whirl.* chronosmith: *bibs his helm back and... stares at the screen* chronosmith: ((b-bibs)) Getaway: ((man rabbits still not loading the movie in for me)) Getaway: ((refresh time)) Getaway: ((ah there we go)) Getaway: ((such a sweet serenade)) chronosmith: ((i'm inevitably reminded of the lobster video)) FakeProwl: ((the frickin lobster video...)) Getaway: ((...whirl did YOU bring getaway)) NoodlesAtNight: @Prowl: (txt): Question, when allowed. chronosmith: ((i had assumed... hmm. Well I had assumed not but idk how else he'd find out 8);; )) FakeProwl: *not typically a fan of tesla coil music. but if he turns down his audials' sensitivity a bit it's fine* chronosmith: ((u can be shockwave it it's easier/makes more sense!)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Yes?» NoodlesAtNight: [[And no, he is not subjecting you all to dancing Cybertronians this time. This is an Earth film. We will hear strange Earth music.]] chronosmith: ((we can have trash boy make his debut at CC) chronosmith: Thank GOD. chronosmith: I'll take this over watching Starscream gyrate ANY day. NoodlesAtNight: ((Getaway's a nosy boy. Maybe Laserbeak told him.)) chronosmith: ((he has a hot date with laserbeak)) Getaway: ((oh boy)) FakeProwl: ((... what if soundwave invited prowl, and getaway found out and invited himself and whirl over)) NoodlesAtNight: ((two more short vids while i finish making a snack, bout five min, then start)) chronosmith: *tilts his head, o now THIS is nice* Getaway: ((i mean getaway does like to look out for dad)) NoodlesAtNight: ((that also works)) chronosmith: ((come watch over Dad and get his hot date all in one sweoop)) FakeProwl: ((lmao you don't have to, i'm mainly being silly)) chronosmith: ((sweoop??? what is typing)) NoodlesAtNight: @Prowl: (txt): On datanet, Prowl stated close physical contact not preferred, stated public affection disliked. Many nights now, couch contact made. Lean, hand held, feeler grip, other. Soundwave did not consider, erred? Prowl has denied self comfort status? Chillsins: (( I had a frighten rabbit logged me out at some point. Almost eXPOSED. )) chronosmith: ((EGAD)) Getaway: *probably sitting in a way that takes up more than a single seat cushion. no worries, not like it'd crowded in here* Getaway: ...Wonder if there ever was anyone who turned into one of those. chronosmith: *sidelong glance at Getaway* Don't know lots of folks made of wood, myself. Chillsins: *PRetends to kick down the door upon entry, but doesn't REALLY.* FakeProwl: *oh. hey. hi. hello. look who's here. surprised glance at getaway.* chronosmith: *bobs his head at Windcill* chronosmith: ((whop brb)) NoodlesAtNight: *Slow stare at Getaway. After a moment's debate, a hesitant greeting nod.* NoodlesAtNight: [[He never met anyone who did. Greetings, Windchill.]] Chillsins: *Puts his foot down on the floor where it belongs.* FakeProwl: *he's gonna. like. slide his avatar over a few pixels. he's not that close to soundwave. nope.* Chillsins: Hi, you guys. Getaway: *handflaps at whirl* You know what I mean. Doesn't have to be wood. Just some sort of music machine. We had all sorts of impractical alt modes way back, right? Getaway: *SNEAKY LITTLE FRICKER* FakeProwl: ... Maccadam's used to have an instrument who performed sometimes. Chillsins: (( I have a mighty need for gross tea brb. )) FakeProwl: His name was... Tax? Ticks? And he turned into a... something with a keyboard. NoodlesAtNight: ((i have not seen this in years and this is an old movie so i apologize if there's anything unexpectedly horrible about it. i do know there's a running gag about a fellow who thinks he's roosevelt though.)) Chillsins: *Snorts at the screen.* FakeProwl: *baseball! Prowl is already pleased.* Chillsins: *A brawl!* FakeProwl: *not as pleased by the brawl* chronosmith: ((ye there's a bit of general insensitivity about mental illness but nothing much much worse)) chronosmith: Never met any instruments, myself. FakeProwl: *right. yes. Soundwave asked a question.* Getaway: *pleased by Prowl's confirmation* Knew there had to be -something- like that in the Taxonomy. NoodlesAtNight: *Takes note of this Tax-Ticks-Whoever instrument person* chronosmith: Okay, now THIS, this is Carey Grant. chronosmith: When we get around to having Culture Club again, you'll see him once moe. chronosmith: *moe Getaway: Which one? The one with the curly kibble? Chillsins: *Decides to creep around and find seating as close to Whirl as is possible, without actually sitting on Whirl.* chronosmith: The guy who just took his sunglasses off. chronosmith: *will scoot his chair abit, but only so he can lean back and put his feet where they belong, on Windchill* Chillsins: 'Stinks with atmosphere,' nice. Chillsins: *Accepts the feet.* Getaway: Ahuh. *ngl mostly tells organics apart by their clothes* NoodlesAtNight: [[Kind of them.]] FakeProwl: @Soundwave «With the public affection, I was referring to—publicly making out, or interfacing, or... overly sappy conversation. Unsubtle things that are hard for others to ignore.» Chillsins: Well, that's never a good sign. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Subtler affection, I'm fine with. And, subtle physical contact.» chronosmith: *gradually becoming more horizontal* NoodlesAtNight: *Quietly relieved. Acknowledging ping.* FakeProwl: *... they want to send teddy to a what.* FakeProwl: *they'd better not.* Chillsins: *Steeples his talons.* NoodlesAtNight: *Now wants to know what's in that seat that's so interesting.* FakeProwl: ... So, he presently DOESN'T love her for her mind. chronosmith: It was a joke, I think. chronosmith: The dude's a wordsmith, you know how they are. NoodlesAtNight: [[...Over a waterfall in a barrel...?]] chronosmith: I dunno. Sounds kind of fun to me. chronosmith: I'd go over a waterfall in a barrel. FakeProwl: It wouldn't have been a joke he was comfortable with making if he wasn't comfortable with suggesting he doesn't value her mind. Chillsins: *Nods.* chronosmith: I suggest you -maybe- not read too much into it, Prowl. *dry look* Just a thought. Chillsins: *Raises hand.* NoodlesAtNight: *Hmm. A good point. He nods.* NoodlesAtNight: [[He does not see what is romantic about dashing each other to pieces on a lake filled with rocks.]] FakeProwl: *he will read as much into it as he cares to and nobody can stop him* chronosmith: Well, Soundwave, if you can't see the romance in THAT, I can't help you. chronosmith: *adopts his Teacher Voice* Yes, Windchill? Getaway: *snorts* NoodlesAtNight: *Looks at Getaway* [[You agree with Whirl?]] chronosmith: *NOT THE WORMS* NoodlesAtNight: *...What? What is it?* chronosmith: *snickers* chronosmith: This guy's faces... Chillsins: My boyfriend says I'm dumb almost every day. It's a joke we're comfortable with making because we both know it's not true. FakeProwl: *considering that he was talking about a dead body when he saw whatever-it-was...* Chillsins: *Winces at his wince.* Chillsins: Murderous old ladies, my kind of people. Getaway: Agree about what? The joke, or the barrel? chronosmith: *as the reveal becomes more and more obvious, Whirl's started to snicker* NoodlesAtNight: *Suddenly VERY amused* NoodlesAtNight: [[Both, he supposes.]] Chillsins: *Shouldn't be snickering, is anyway.* FakeProwl: *quietly leans forward, puts his elbows on his knees, and laces his hands in front of his mouth* FakeProwl: ((y'know the movie calls them "sisters" but I ain't buying it. these are sweet old murderous lesbians.)) NoodlesAtNight: *Small glance. He wonders if that's the Serious Thought pose or the Trying Not To Laugh pose.* chronosmith: ((omg)) NoodlesAtNight: ((lmao)) NoodlesAtNight: [[Ah, a pumpkin. Smokescreen would have liked that part.]] chronosmith: ((also fyi i'm imagining Getaway is sitting on a chaise that did not exist until he needed to lounge on it)) Getaway: ((you know it)) Getaway: ((the laziest drape)) Chillsins: (( Good. )) Chillsins: THE WHAT chronosmith: *constant snickering* Chillsins: (( His voice. )) FakeProwl: *"that's what we did with the others." and now Prowl's shoulders are trembling.* chronosmith: This guy's a joy to watch. NoodlesAtNight: *Is, by now, wobbling slightly. If he were a vocal mech, he'd be laughing so hard.* NoodlesAtNight: [[He really is.]] Chillsins: I suppose I have to respect a death toll like that. Chillsins: *His eyebrows are escaping into the upper atmosphere.* NoodlesAtNight: *Watches them go* chronosmith: *They Ascend* Chillsins: *They're gone.* Getaway: Prowl's right about the 'joke'. Mostly. He might not mean anything, and the other human might not mind, but humor's still the best way to learn what folks think is or isn't out of the ordinary. Getaway: ...As for the barrel, I might get in one, but you sure wouldn't catch me hitting the bottom. chronosmith: I don't think even YOU can escape GRAVITY. Getaway: *heh* chronosmith: Unless you've secretly been a triple-changer all along. NoodlesAtNight: [[...Do you suppose they've kept the meter running?]] Chillsins: Sometimes the joke is what's out of the ordinary, in my experience_ Getaway: The secret is to get -out- of the barrel before gravity becomes a problem. Chillsins: *interrupts himself to point* Chillsins: CAT. Chillsins: *Cat is gone, escaped just like his eyebrows.* Chillsins: *Frowns.* NoodlesAtNight: [[The poor Elaine human.]] chronosmith: ((our new dryer sings a song when it's done omfg)) FakeProwl: ... He could have told her it was a family emergency. Chillsins: (( LOVELY. )) chronosmith: Yeah. NoodlesAtNight: [[For twelve other humans' families, perhaps.]] FakeProwl: ((the washing machine at my family's home sings. 0u0)) FakeProwl: *SNRK* chronosmith: I mean, even I'D do a better job than THAT. FakeProwl: True. His family caused the emergency, though. Chillsins: I guess he's trying to protect her by keeping her out of it, but that tends to not work out. Chillsins: *Oh dear, he can see where this is going.* NoodlesAtNight: [[Where will they store this one, up the fireplace?]] chronosmith: *snickering again* FakeProwl: *he keeps saying sanitarium. would he stop.* Chillsins: (( I, too, have eaten berries out of a cemetery.)) Chillsins: *JUMPS AT THE SCREAM* FakeProwl: *shoulders trembling* Getaway: ((why do they want to kill people again)) NoodlesAtNight: ((they think they're on a mission of mercy for old lonely people essentially)) Chillsins: (( As an act of mercy. )) Chillsins: That's putting it lightly. chronosmith: *outright LAUGHS* FakeProwl: Don't commit him for the sins of his aunts! NoodlesAtNight: [[Most cruel.]] chronosmith: *nods* FakeProwl: *this movie is a dizzying array of whiplash. first it's hilarious murder and then it's back to trying to shove that poor man into a sanitarium* chronosmith: Can't say I'd wanna end up in a place like that. I'm surprised it hasn't HAPPEned, ACTUALLY. Getaway: They already told him he doesn't do it. Maybe he's trying to get him away from -them-. Chillsins: *Snorts.* FakeProwl: A sanitarium isn't an improvement. Chillsins: *Cackles* Chillsins: ... chronosmith: *looks to Windchill* Have you and your mech made it official, yet? Chillsins: How do you mean? Bonded? No. chronosmith: ((THERE E IS!!! PETER! LORRE!!)) Chillsins: *The Frankenstein monster just broke in? Okay* chronosmith: "Bonded"? chronosmith: Is that like a Conjunx sorta deal? Chillsins: Eh...kind of? Getaway: ...That took a dark turn. NoodlesAtNight: [[...The serial murders weren't?]] Chillsins: I have no idea whether getting married makes people act any stranger, if that's what you're asking. chronosmith: I don't think anything could make YOU stranger than you ARE. Chillsins: ...I guess we'll find out, eh? Getaway: They might've been, if the film took them seriously. *black humor without the humors just black* NoodlesAtNight: *Looks up Boris Car-Lot on the datanet* NoodlesAtNight: *Oh. Yes, Karloff. Thank you, Google. He does see a resemblance.* Getaway: ((OOC SNORT)) Chillsins: (( My god. )) NoodlesAtNight: ((is it glitching for anyone else or is my internet just a butt today)) FakeProwl: ((it's fine here)) chronosmith: ((it's running fine here!)) Chillsins: (( I haven't noticed anything! )) Getaway: ((im fine)) chronosmith: Pfft. Chillsins: *Is beyond making noises at this point.* chronosmith: Looks like everyBODY wants to get into the Brewster place. Chillsins: *bats Whirl's foot. How dare he make a pun!* chronosmith: *smug look* NoodlesAtNight: *Soft huff* FakeProwl: Pf. NoodlesAtNight: [[Of course he's been patient. He's been dead.]] Getaway: *his puns were better whirl* Getaway: *and you stared so disapprovingly at him* Chillsins: *Leans over, bringing his horrific nostrils dangerously close to Whirl's punny feet.* chronosmith: *and he'll do it again, too* chronosmith: *whirl considers himself exempt from Bad Pun Rules* Chillsins: *Sniffs loudly* chronosmith: ...*watches Windchill* Careful with the merchandise. Getaway: *of course you do. everyone who makes puns does* Chillsins: *Sniffs again, the vent covers on either side of his face retracting.* Chillsins: Smells like... *sniffs* Smells like... *SNIFFS* chronosmith: Are you about to do something weird to my foot. chronosmith: You'd better not. Chillsins: *GASPS* Chillsins: TREE STARS! chronosmith: *abruptly raises his foot, bumping it quickly but not too hashly into Windchill's forehead* Chillsins: ACK! chronosmith: Oops. Chillsins: *Clutches his head in mostly-mock agony.* chronosmith: *looks to the room in general* I've damaged my footstool. Chillsins: I just wanted to tell you that your foot smells like...a weed. Getaway: ((rita did not like that noise)) chronosmith: Well I WAS tending to my plants, earlier. But not with my FEET. Chillsins: *Sits up, rubbing his forehead.* FakeProwl: PFF-- *presses laced hands to mouth* Chillsins: Close enough, maybe. Chillsins: I didn't know you were growing a weed. chronosmith: I've got a lot of plants, right now. NoodlesAtNight: *An audible pff! Victory.* Chillsins: I'm calling the police. NoodlesAtNight: [[He's right there.]] *Motions to Prowl* chronosmith: Good news. They're right there. *nods to Prowl* chronosmith: ... NoodlesAtNight: *Amused helm bob* chronosmith: *likewise* Chillsins: ...I've changed my mind. chronosmith: Pfft. chronosmith: And--just as planned. I'm free to keep practicing my dastardly deeds, Chillsins: *Is an enabler.* chronosmith: This is a hell of a honeymoon. FakeProwl: *skeptical side glance* What am I being called for. Chillsins: *Whistles innocently.* Chillsins: *GAGS.* NoodlesAtNight: [[He has no interest in being bonded, but if he did, he would prefer a little less murder for the celebration.]] chronosmith: Depends on who's doing the murdering, I say. Chillsins: Hmm. Chillsins: Kill him. chronosmith: But, obviously, I feel likewise. Getaway: *optical ridges ascend after chill's* chronosmith: In regards to, you know, a conjunx Chillsins: *Space is not so lonely anymore.* chronosmith: *SNICKERING AGAIN* Chillsins: Wow. Chillsins: *Narrows optics.* FakeProwl: Why doesn't he tell her anything. FakeProwl: Divorce him. NoodlesAtNight: [[It seems she is.]] FakeProwl: Good. Chillsins: She deserves better. Getaway: Probably not too late to revoke the license. chronosmith: For once, I agree with Mr. Personality over there. NoodlesAtNight: *Quiet huff* Chillsins: *Covers his mouth.* Chillsins: That's...quite an aspiration to have. chronosmith: *laughing again* chronosmith: butters: ((This is Arsenic and LAce, then? NoodlesAtNight: ((ye)) butters: ((I will need to watch this from the beginning on my own time FakeProwl: *the shaking has moved down his shoulders. it's now taken over his back and arms.* NoodlesAtNight: *Secretly pleased by this. Maybe there will be an unrestrained laugh by the end of the night.* Chillsins: *SPITS* chronosmith: *hopefully not on MY FEET* NoodlesAtNight: [[Oh, they're well past sickness.]] Chillsins: *Maybe just a little?* NoodlesAtNight: *Ah, it's Rumble.* chronosmith: *shoots Windchill a dirty look* chronosmith: ((omfg)) chronosmith: ((that little nerd)) Chillsins: *Wipes his mouth unapologetically.* Getaway: ((i feel like im supposed to find this movie funnier than i actually do....)) FakeProwl: ((I'm finding it funny)) Getaway: ((whenever prowl laughs i have no idea what hes laughing at because i didnt detect a joke)) NoodlesAtNight: ((it's usually a hit or miss deal)) FakeProwl: ((it slowed down for a while after johnny showed up but it's picking back up)) chronosmith: ((most of he comedy, I find, is in Carey Grant's acting)) FakeProwl: ((well. there's also lag. it takes time after the joke for me to type a laugh.)) chronosmith: ((if a different actor were the lead I doubt I'd enjoy this half as much)) Chillsins: (( I find it funny but I also have a morbid sense of humour. )) Getaway: ((i mean its certainly very silly but perhaps im unused to the style of comedic timing... they back and forth so fast sometimes)) NoodlesAtNight: ((cary grant movies tend to jump back and forth between serious moments and frenetic silliness)) FakeProwl: ((I'm into frenetic silliness)) Getaway: ((i like morbid humor! but yeah i think its. the tone jumping around and the franticness thats losing me)) NoodlesAtNight: ((it's cool if you're not as into it! i'll run other things in the future too)) butters: ((good old fashion absurd setups and rapid delivery FakeProwl: ((two of y'all are named Guest.)) FakeProwl: ((guest #2 with the black bunny on the green grass, who are you)) butters: ((You're named Guest for me Chillsins: (( I see three guests. )) butters: ((Black bunny is Butters FakeProwl: ((WHY AM I NAMED GUEST)) chronosmith: ((Same, three guests here. Prowl, Getaway, and the new one)) NoodlesAtNight: ((rabbit has a glitch lately i think)) butters: ((dunno. your name appears when you're typing, but it's posting under 'Guest' FakeProwl: ((*re-changes it*)) butters: ((perhaps it's an account thing? FakeProwl: ((hrmph. Yeah, that's what Getaway's is doing for me.)) FakeProwl: ((but you're just Guest-Guest, butters)) chronosmith: ((Guestaway)) Chillsins: What was that conversation. NoodlesAtNight: ((LOL Guestaway)) butters: ((this work? NoodlesAtNight: ((nope)) FakeProwl: ((well. now you're Guest-Butters.)) butters: ((Welp. I am a Mystery Getaway: ((guestaway!)) NoodlesAtNight: [[Well-deserved.]] NoodlesAtNight: [[Her shutting the window.]] Getaway: *what an intro to earth this has been* NoodlesAtNight: *...Is this Getaway's first encounter with humans, so to speak?* NoodlesAtNight: *Oh dear.* chronosmith: *GOOD* Getaway: *hes barely been on cybertron let alone earth* NoodlesAtNight: *Good thing it wasn't the movie about the giant spider, then.* Getaway: *hes been briefed, of course, but yeah* chronosmith: *maybe whirl can arrange to strategically only show him things that'll give him the wrong idea...* Chillsins: *Count Chill in on evil plots* FakeProwl: ((show him cartoons with singing dogs)) NoodlesAtNight: *Must remember that stunt for future use.* Chillsins: LEt me guess, it's signed as Theodore Roosevelt. Getaway: *doesnt know who teddy roosevelt is* chronosmith: ((PFFT. this scene on stage must be a riot)) Chillsins: For crying out loud. FakeProwl: *annnd he's trembling again.* NoodlesAtNight: [[Art imitates reality.]] NoodlesAtNight: [[Or, perhaps, the other way around.]] NoodlesAtNight: *That is an impressive array of tools.* Getaway: ((oh look its shockwaves medkit)) chronosmith: If I were in that situation, I'd strangle myself to spite him, really. FakeProwl: *oh. that's a good look. rope around the neck connected to a rope around the knees and keeping his legs up. Prowl's gotta remember that one.* chronosmith: Not that squeezing my neck would do much of anything. Chillsins: I'd pee on him. chronosmith: PFF-- Chillsins: *can't, but it's the thought that counts.* NoodlesAtNight: [[You and certain Bumblebees would get along.]] Chillsins: I don't know what you mean. Chillsins: *sighs* butters: ((omg Chillsins: *GROANS IN FRUSTRATION.* Getaway: Oh, Primus... FakeProwl: Pffffeh. NoodlesAtNight: *RECORDED THAT* FakeProwl: *he's been doing so good* Chillsins: Wow. Getaway: Wow. Everyone in this film is an imbecile. Chillsins: That's quite the scene. chronosmith: *snickering* NoodlesAtNight: [[...A captive audience.]] Chillsins: *Ropes, nightstick, uniform, fascinating.* Chillsins: *SPITS AGAIN* Chillsins: *THAT PUN* Chillsins: *Rocking back and forth* chronosmith: *removes his feet and sits up* Chillsins: *He can't deal with this.* chronosmith: *once again, just continually gleefully snickering* Chillsins: *SQUEAKS* FakeProwl: *just. sustained trembling.* Getaway: ((....no?)) butters: ((Exactly Getaway: ((presidents dont interrogate spies lmao)) FakeProwl: ((presidents don't take shovels and help dig the panama canal themselves.)) butters: ((tbh let Roosevelt interrogate whoever he wants. He can bugle them Chillsins: *Seems to be calming down, for now.* Chillsins: CALLED IT chronosmith: Heh. NoodlesAtNight: [[Unnecessary. Nobody knows of the cellar bodies.]] Chillsins: *Snickers.* butters: ((oh.. oh no NoodlesAtNight: ((i've never liked this part of the ending tbh)) NoodlesAtNight: ((poor fellow)) Getaway: ((WOW)) Getaway: ((SIR)) NoodlesAtNight: ((yeahhhh)) chronosmith: ((yeah 8/ )) Chillsins: (( *INHALES* )) FakeProwl: ((8/)) butters: ((my attention diverted at the worst moment what did he say FakeProwl: (("lock up my aunts two, a couple sane folks will get lost in the shuffle")) butters: ((8/ butters: Yesterday Getaway: ((i mean theyre murderers but whaaat)) chronosmith: ((he free)) Getaway: ((i wasnt aware 'igor' was a german accent)) NoodlesAtNight: ((...........i never got the frankenstein + igor thing before omg)) Getaway: ((hahaha yeah im p sure its a giant reference)) Chillsins: WHAT? chronosmith: *streeetches* FakeProwl: *that was an incredibly mixed bag.* chronosmith: Definitely worth a watch, even if just for Carey Grant. NoodlesAtNight: *Joins the stretch. He disliked the fate of some of the humans, but the murder comedy parts were good.* FakeProwl: *hilarious, yes. but mixed with some very. very. uncomfortable content.* Getaway: *stretches* Humans are wild. Getaway: ((i like how everyone just stretches)) chronosmith: Yeah. Well, there you have it, Getaway. *gestures to the screen* Human cinema. Chillsins: I don't know what I was expecting. chronosmith: ((we all bee sittin so still...)) NoodlesAtNight: *Soundwave has long limbs in awkward configurations, sitting too long gets him all cramped up* Chillsins: *Windchill's eyebrows descend from outer space.* NoodlesAtNight: *Ah, yes. He wondered where those went.* Getaway: *will leave his to spy on the club when hes gone* NoodlesAtNight: *You take those with you, sir. No abandoned body parts.* FakeProwl: ((lol)) Getaway: *fiiiine. not like he didnt take the first 20 minutes to side-eye canvass the place anyway* chronosmith: Thanks for the film, Chatterbox. NoodlesAtNight: [[You're welcome. He will try to find something with a better ending next time.]] chronosmith: *salutes* Chillsins: You leaving? chronosmith: Yeah, gonna roll on home. NoodlesAtNight: *It's a club, Getaway. There's not a lot of Evil Decepticon Secrets to be seen.* NoodlesAtNight: [[Safe returns. Farewell.]] Chillsins: *Nods. He accepts this.* Getaway: *course not. layouts are still good. exits, you know. in case this is ever just a trap* NoodlesAtNight: *There's only one exit, and that'll be the front doors.* Chillsins: *Unless you're Kool Aid* Getaway: *oh he can make an exit if he has to* chronosmith: You too, mech. chronosmith: *nudges Windchill* Later, loser. Chillsins: Bye, sucker. Chillsins: *Is the real sucker here.* chronosmith: *he will spare Getaway a sidelong look and a subtle nod as he goes, as well* Getaway: *breezy handwave* NoodlesAtNight: *BOY don't you go blowing holes in his home* Getaway: *dont give him reason to and he probably wont* Chillsins: *What happens if THIS boy pees on the floor?* NoodlesAtNight: *He will call up Smokescreen and Wall of Shame both of you.* Chillsins: *But then Smokescreen might meet a REAL LIFE VAMPIRE* NoodlesAtNight: *That's the whole planet.* Chillsins: *...True.* Getaway: *txen needs to finish painting her nails before bedtime but getaway is definitely going to casually run social interference/fully expect prowls hologram doesnt have reason to stick around Soundwave. not that prowl couldnt pretend to leave so that getaway leaves and then just boop back lol.* NoodlesAtNight: *Getaway, would you just like a tag that says "Official Chaperone."* FakeProwl: *that's great! prowl gets to hang out with getaway AND soundwave.* Getaway: *yes he probably would* Chillsins: I'm scared. Getaway: ((aw prowl bb)) NoodlesAtNight: [[Why are you scared?]] FakeProwl: *even better if they pretend to be polite to each other convincingly enough that he can't pick up the underlying seething hostility at first glance* Chillsins: Puppets...are unnerving. NoodlesAtNight: *Also he only agrees with half of Prowl's assessment.* NoodlesAtNight: [[What's wrong with puppets?]] Chillsins: *A friend tried to teach him to count by making him watch Sesame Street once. It didn't work.* Chillsins: I think they're creepy. Chillsins: It's the eyes. FakeProwl: *80s rock, huh.* FakeProwl: *strongly suspects that soundwave is figuring out prowl's musical tastes.* NoodlesAtNight: *Actually, it's mostly the mun's choice, but he has noticed a few responses, so why not?* NoodlesAtNight: [[Strange. Usually it's the lack of optics that disturb people.]] NoodlesAtNight: [[He should know.]] Chillsins: Better no eyes than dead eyes, I say. Getaway: *one of these days getaway needs an excuse to show soundy his musical taste/swing dancing* NoodlesAtNight: *On that day, Soundwave will be torn like a piece of paper before Buzzsaw's wings.* NoodlesAtNight: *To appreciate or to hate more for ruining swing dancing? A dilemma.* NoodlesAtNight: [[You would be one of the first.]] Chillsins: I always was special like that. A natural born rebel. NoodlesAtNight: *Helm bob. He rather figured, what with the Decepticon talk Whirl's always on with.* Getaway: ((i realized 'official bodyguard' is more accurate to what getawayd want a badge of, since its in everyones best interests not to let him know theres anything to chaperone) NoodlesAtNight: ((...a good point)) FakeProwl: ((fair)) Chillsins: 😮 Chillsins: *He LOVES DEPECHE MODE WTF* NoodlesAtNight: *Is now two for two, then.* FakeProwl: *"Enjoy The Silence". Snort. Appropriate.* Getaway: *wanna go for 3?~* NoodlesAtNight: *Oh, he can probably think of something fitting* Chillsins: *These music videos though.* Getaway: *pauses to look at the speaker the musics coming from* ...I should really take a look at Earth music sometime. NoodlesAtNight: @Prowl: (txt): Question: Getaway knows alliance exists? Chillsins: It's the best. Chillsins: Except for country. NoodlesAtNight: [[You should. It has its charms.]] NoodlesAtNight: *Uuuuugh being poliiiiiite* Chillsins: *Clenches fist.* FakeProwl: I can send you some. Getaway: ((THERE HE NOW HAS A CANONICAL REASON TO KNOW EARTH SONGS)) NoodlesAtNight: *Oh thank Primus he doesn't have to be the one.* Getaway: Sure, Boss. FakeProwl: I don't have a lot. But I'll transfer what I have. NoodlesAtNight: *There. One for Getaway.* Getaway: ((PFFF)) Getaway: ((HIS THEME)) Chillsins: *WHAT IS THIS* Chillsins: *Snickering* Getaway: A small starting point's better than nothing-- *quizzical look at this song choice* NoodlesAtNight: [[It reminds him of some of the old cities.]] Chillsins: *Applauds* Chillsins: *WHAT IS THAT SCARY THING* Chillsins: (( That frikkin game. )) NoodlesAtNight: ((pretend that one isn't labeled or something)) Chillsins: (( I COULDN'T GET PAST THE FIRST DEVASTATOR FIGHT WITHOUT LOWERING THE DIFFICULTY )) FakeProwl: ((i don't have it yet :,) NoodlesAtNight: ((it's a fun time if cheesy)) FakeProwl: ((cheesy times are the BEST fun times)) Chillsins: (( IT'S FUN and it gets easier as you go. I played Wheeljack as often as possible. MY BOY. )) NoodlesAtNight: ((Wheeljack was for real the best to play as.)) Chillsins: (( I almost got whooped by Shockwave too, he's a beast. )) Chillsins: (( Wheeljack + SNIPER RIFLE. )) FakeProwl: ((i'm disappointed by the limited character options tbh)) Getaway: ((my roomies got the ps subscription whatever and it was a free monthly game a while back)) Chillsins: (( i'm always a sniper ho though. )) Chillsins: (( YEAH no 'cons? only like five bots? TRAGIC. )) NoodlesAtNight: ((okiedokie i'm gonna call it a night in about 7)) Chillsins: (( o7 )) NoodlesAtNight: ((also did prowl miss his question re: getaway earlier?)) NoodlesAtNight: ((and snipers unite)) FakeProwl: ((... I skipped the @ and thought he was asking getaway LMAO)) NoodlesAtNight: ((DEAR GOD NO)) NoodlesAtNight: (([][][]If you don't know, now you know.[][][])) Getaway: ((GEE)) FakeProwl: ((uhh I don't remember if it's EXPLICITLY come up but he's made allusions to working with Soundwave before)) FakeProwl: ((if it hasn't come up in RP, it's probably come up off-screen)) Getaway: (( he knows about 'this dude is useful and we're working with him' not the """""""alliance""""""")) Chillsins: (( jfc that game. Most overpowered character: Knock Out. )) FakeProwl: ((well no Prowl wouldn't have told him about the """"""alliance"""""" but he might've told him about the "alliance")) Getaway: ((yes, just saying it depends what soundy meant)) NoodlesAtNight: ((oh, i just meant the "working together" part)) NoodlesAtNight: ((bleh i wanted the one without the player talking over it. oh well. that'll be about it *stretch*)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «He knows we are working together. He doesn't know we're... sssocializing significantly.» FakeProwl: ((THERE. BELATEDLY.)) NoodlesAtNight: @Prowl: (txt): Understood. Soundwave will keep secret. Chillsins: *Stretches. Time to go home.* NoodlesAtNight: *Stands up and turns to face them all.* [[He appreciates the company, but he will have work soon.]] Chillsins: *Lifts leg* Chillsins: *Work it bby* NoodlesAtNight: *Amused* FakeProwl: ((as long as he's not preparing to pee)) Chillsins: (( There are worse things he could be doing. )) Chillsins: *Lowers his leg and slides out of the seat.* NoodlesAtNight: @Prowl: (txt): However, new Fullstasis game welcome when Prowl moments: free. Impending assignment: dull. NoodlesAtNight: [[He will consider hosting something else soon. Until then.]] NoodlesAtNight: *Busies himself cleaning* Chillsins: *Ambles for the exit before he tricks himself into cleaning whether it's appreciated or not.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I don't have much to do until work; I'm waiting for reports to come in. I'll ping you my moves. You can have the first one.» Chillsins: I'll see you guys LATER. Getaway: All right then. *hops up with a little 'hup'* ...Thhaaanks. *doesnt have a lot of spark behind that-- not like he was actually on soundys invite list anyway* Chillsins: *Is never on the invite list, don't feel bad, just crash the party!* NoodlesAtNight: [[...Yes. You're welcome.]] *Even less spark behind his, since his is more withered.* Chillsins: *Windchill, and his wayward eyebrows, vanish into the night.* NoodlesAtNight: *Visible nod to Windchill and an acknowledging ping to Prowl. He will start with... that one, then. There you go.* FakeProwl: I hope to see you at more movie nights. *the only sincere one* NoodlesAtNight: *PROWL, WHY. HE THOUGHT YOU LIKED HIM* FakeProwl: *shhh, #3. he's talking to #2.* Chillsins: (( Windchill has no idea who Getaway even is WHOOPS. Maybe one day. BUT NOT TODAY. )) NoodlesAtNight: *Faaaaaair* NoodlesAtNight: ((One day!)) FakeProwl: ((... yknow i don't think prowl knows who windchill is, besides the person whirl does his furniture kink stuff with)) Chillsins: ((.......)) Chillsins: (( Well he's not WRONG. )) FakeProwl: ((they've been at so many movie nights together......)) Chillsins: (( Windchill is That Guy with the furniture kink and Awful Opinions. )) Chillsins: (( That's all we know... )) Getaway: Whirl's invited me to that club you guys started, so yeah. Probably! *small eye-smile* ...Say-- I know you're busy, but what're the chances of, like... you beaming up to say hi a little more often? Maybe when the rec room's not in use? NoodlesAtNight: ((And an obsession with butts and an egg, Soundwave says. Also a Decepticon who doesn't repair himself like he ought.)) NoodlesAtNight: ((And an interesting sense of humor)) Chillsins: (( Hey WHOA now. He's also obsessed with boobs. )) FakeProwl: *dryly* I don't think the captain would appreciate that. FakeProwl: I'll find some arrangement. Getaway: *little eyeroll* Not even in holoform, huh? Am I gonna have to install something in my room? FakeProwl: I think the captain would appreciate that even less than letting me into authorized visitor rooms. NoodlesAtNight: *...Silently wonders if he could patch in and peek around Getaway's room if Getaway did that.* NoodlesAtNight: *Puts the thought aside and keeps moving chairs back where they go* FakeProwl: But there are other possibilities. Digital meetings. Holomatter projectors in third party locations. Et cetera. FakeProwl: *isn't going to suggest THIS third party location. he's not gonna be that cruel to Soundwave.* Getaway: *tsks in mock disappointment-- what the captain doesnt know wont hurt him~* Figured that might be the case. NoodlesAtNight: *See? Mindful, like he said a few months ago.* FakeProwl: *what the captain doesn't know is something the captain will probably find out later and pitch a fit about, and Prowl doesn't need that kind of drama.* Chillsins: (( I'm out. 'NIGHT GUYS. Thanks for stream! )) Getaway: *fair* FakeProwl: ((NIGHT)) NoodlesAtNight: ((night! thank you for coming!!)) Chillsins: (( o7! )) Getaway: Ah, I better head back. Seeya round, Boss. *casual salute* FakeProwl: Evening. FakeProwl: *Soundwave gets a farewell ping, and Prowl's first move* NoodlesAtNight: [[Take care, Getaway.]] *Or don't. You know, he doesn't care.* FakeProwl: *and disappears* FakeProwl: *he's trusting you two not to kill each other when he's gone.* Getaway: Later, Soundwave. Say hi to Laserbeak for me~ *jaunts on off to the door and bridging area* NoodlesAtNight: *Waits until both are gone to HUFF AT THAT* NoodlesAtNight: *And finish cleaning, figure out a second move, and hop on paperwork check.*

[kevinsmilleran-blog]

Hello,

 I found your blog.

 If my intent was to hurt you or invade your privacy I would not have come clean today ... if I wasn’t getting over you I would not have come clean today ...at the time I found your blog my only intent was to better understand where i stand with you I swear to god...  but I found your blog and now I can’t take it back.

 Where did I stand.  Fuck!  it’s the crazy the whiplash I get.  one day it’s “Ive been in hospital here’s everything for the last five days” and then two days later it’s all “none of your business.” One day it’s singing blackbird singing in the dead of night at 2am don’t hang up, the next day is “can I hang up now tired? Oh ….none of your business.”

 I lied to you when you asked if I found your blog cause I knew you’d never talk to me again, I couldn’t deal with that in that particular moment ... I was going through some shit and still thought maybe as a friend you’d be support…  can I deal with that now??? I don’t know, I think so, the truth is I am getting over you I was at the gym last night – big step -- and with each text I sent you on kik as i kept looking at my phone waiting for the d to turn into an r something just kept dying inside and I was deciding I don’t want a life of waiting for the d on kik to turn into an r... I put my phone on the shelf for a while and I felt RELIEF!!! Relief from this thing MY FUCKING PHONE that seems to only exist in a way to make me feel ignored when I’m needy and available when I’m needed.

 I just know that each day that went by lying to you made the lie worse. So now you know. I found your blog... I don’t know how to explain this... one thing I noticed about you is there’s EMPOWERED YOU and then VULNERABLE YOU... we are all both weak and strong.  well I’m the same exactly!! kinda strong in that moment when you told me you had a blog, but I can’t see it.  I nod.  Of course I nod.  I’m telling you we all should have a private place where we can write private things I’m not lying!!!

 and then it’s vulnerable me late at night not knowing where i stand

 driving me crazy

 why does she want to be with me one night but not tonight

 I need to know I need to know I need to know

 i ask she says none of my business

 I need to know

 I get a cryptic text, just a pic, looks cool, then five hours of silence and each minute of each hour just grinds away at my strength, the gears in my brain cranking spinning.  What I said about everyone having private space to write private things I MEANT IT, ya coulda hooked me up to a lie detector and when I said private space to write private things is sacred and that lie detector would have frozen over with boredom as the truth spills out into the air…. I meant it but now I need to know.  

 I NEED TO KNOW

I NEED TO KNOW!!!!

Why has that person who used to text me before going to bed every night, she has stopped.  Why is it I could text a Phineas and Ferb “whatcha doin?” one day and it was always my business and now it was always not my business.

 I needed to know!!!

I had to know.

Just to move on and get closure I had to FUCKING KNOW.

 Bono sings “the best things are easy to destroy” and does he fucking even know how easy.

 Now listen.  I can fuck up things with booze.  But I have to get a job make the money, get in a car go to a store and buy the booze.  I can fuck things up in all sorts of ways.  

 How easy was this?

 After about the 100th time my brain was screaming to itself I NEED TO KNOW, here’s how easy it was.

 First mistake…. that short story you sent, the one about the kid with the death due date going to die before everyone else he had a bad number

Second mistake…. look that up it’s literally the most popular post on tumblr

Third mistake…. Not even looking for it your avi is literally the first avi at the bottom of the page.  Reblog list.

Fourth mistake …  click on the link to your tumblr.

Fifth mistake …. The first fucking post on your tumblr is literally a link to a wordpress blog.

Sixth mistake …. You know the rest.

 I found your blog.

 How long did that take. Less than 4 seconds.

 There’s at least a protocol to nuking the world, codes, keys, you can’t even do it alone you need another guy to turn his key at the same time, I guess, I don’t really know.  I just know it’s not supposed to be that easy.

 It was that fucking easy ... to go get booze I at least have to get in a car and go to a store I DESTROYED EVERYTHING WITH YOU STONE COLD SOBER IN 4 SECONDS OF WEAKNESS WITH THREE TAPS OF MY FINGER ON A FUCKING PHONE WHILE IN MY BED!!!

 THAT FUCKING EASY! I FUCKING HATE THE INTERNET!!!!!

 I have a friend, a teacher she says if it was that easy she wanted you to find it.  Like that guy who hides porn where he knows his wife will find it eventually.  

 That’s fucking insulting. Go away friend, you’re not a friend. I fucked up.   I lacked self control.  Disrespected your space.  AGAIN. It was the second time!!!  I know what I did and I know you don’t play games that way.

 None of this is now going to help. maybe you’ll meet a stronger guy in future, I hope you do but if you ever put a guy in relationship purgatory – if you don’t know what I mean by that its this… you break up with him, but you don’t really want that so you’re “broken up” but still doing things… aw fuck it… everything together…. again when you’re “broken up” but still doing things together, don’t send him excerpts from your blog. Don’t send him the tools to find your blog in three clicks ... I think most guys would look, we are all pretty weak I think that’s why we, with our fearful patriarchies, fucked the world up.  

 Unless you want him to see your blog my advice is don’t even tell him it exists ...  if it’s a test to see if he looks for it, it’s a test that I think will rule out a lot of guys who are really pretty amazing in a lot of other ways.  Seeking out secrets is in a guys nature the way it’s in the nature of a scorpion to sting and poison a turtle carrying the scorpion across a river.  They both DIE.

 Maybe I’m wrong and I am just the worst man on earth, and every other dude would have never looked.

 But...

 I see on your tumblr a joke about someone pointing a knife but not using it ... a bad comparison maybe my point is this: if i was truly despicable (and some guys are) I would have SECRETLY kept looking at your blog for months… So I’m not despicable I’m merely pathetic and lacking the self control when it comes to wanting to know everything about you ... and yeah i do want to know that ... i fucking miss being your cheerleader… DO NOT RULE OUT THE POSSIBILITY THAT I LOOKED AT YOUR BLOG NOT JUST TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU WERE DOING, BUT BECAUSE I FUCKING GET A BIG GIANT SMILE WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW COOL YOU ARE!

 Purely practical... like it’s even possible I could be a better ex boyfriend if I knew more about you instead of less. Case in point, when it wasn’t a betrayal..... If I’d have found your blog before we broke up ... back then it might have saved the relationship.. I like to think I would have got us both help sooner ... but now it’s just betrayal I guess ...

 so some more honesty ... if I told you I would never look at it again I doubt I could make good on that promise ... it’s just yet another way my feelings for you reach beyond boyfriend girlfriend to father daughter ... it’s like I’m thinking well you won’t ever talk to me again but at least I can see youre ok on Facebook or tumblr or something ... so point is if you keep posting to that blog and to this tumblr I’d still look ... long after we have both moved on to someone else .. I could marry some woman and she’d wonder why I’m on some 20 something’s tumblr and be like oh it’s nothing and try to hide it from her ... if i talked to her about you she’d hear in my voice the candle I’d still hold for you...

 In that respect there is something about further contact I think we need to finally put in writing and if I could write it in stone i would... I get that as your ex boyfriend you don’t want to appear vulnerable to me.. you already have three dads, you don’t need a 4th but that’s kind of where I’m at here... I don’t think of myself as strictly an ex boyfriend but as a dad who would never not have the time for you ... for instance you know this door would never be closed to you.

 Now I know you can take care of yourself I’m just saying in an extreme emergency

 more honesty you can block me here but your tumblr is public viewable to anyone not logged into tumblr I assume you know that... more honesty ya know what????

 your tumblr IS FUCKING RAD!!! setting aside all the emotions both good and bad if we were total strangers I’d totally follow you ...

 I hate the fact that we are exes means I don’t get to be a stranger and go wow that chicks FUCKING AWESOME!  

 Anyway, i hope you’ll think about this and after the anger of betrayal subsides you might think it’s ok idk I’d like that your tumblr is cool!

 This will probably be the last things I get to say for awhile so I started feeling better about being blocked yesterday ... like I said above, the reason why is that it’s probably easier for me being blocked than it is texting you and staring at the phone for hours waiting for a response ... which is what was happening ... blocking me just takes away from me something I already don’t have anyway ... so yeah I’m just like well if I was unblocked how would that make anything better? It wouldn’t.

 I don’t know if I can think of any other last worlds ... oh i didn’t throw away anything you gave me ... it’s all packed up in two boxes labeled “amber”... encasing something in amber preserves it somehow ... it’s out of sight and out of mind as much as it can be so I don’t spend my days in tears looking at it, yet our year remains preserved encased in amber like a 99 million year old frog.

   One last way I’m weak and pathetic.. I probably would have let you throw your youth away on 50 year old ... or maybe I wouldn’t do that, and this is pretty weird but maybe I did all this fucking up so you wouldn’t throw your youth away on a 50 year old and also not spend much time being too hard on yourself

 It’s all my fault we are no longer together.

  p.s. to any reader who wants to know what I found when I found her blog, I’m a huge fan of the tv show LOST, so some things never get answered.  This isn’t about that, this is about something else.  Put it this way, I still really didn’t get the definitive answer or closure I was looking for, all I found was more questions, and I was just DESTROYING EVERYTHING I HELD DEAR IN MY HEART.  That’s the only thing that will ever happen when you go looking for THOSE KIND of answers.

[flarebossmalva]

just for future reference and in case anyone was curious i’m going to explain what the hell i was on about re: some stuff in my writing tag

skipping things that are obvious or self-explanatory but if you’re puzzled by something i wrote and i didn’t explain it here then feel free to ask i guess

disgust - i thought of vomit immediately and then wrote about the last experience i had with a friend who was sick. i don’t actually remember which friend this was anymore. “you’re never going to die ever again” i’m not sure about but i think this may have been referring to how awful stomach sicknesses are and how they can literally be so bad they make you feel like you’re dying? that’s a guess

aether - thought of “ether” instead which is very volatile so that’s how i got onto the theme about exploding. i think the rest was just vague associations

pincushion - human pincushion. i guess someone who has bled out completely

aura - you know how they talk about people having colored auras? i just picked a color and went from there. don’t know what “i can taste it under my fingernails” means even remotely but if this is from when i worked in produce/floral i constantly had plant matter under my fingernails so maybe that. am reading “you look lovely, by the way. very fresh.” in GLaDOS’ voice for some reason and not sure if that was what i had in mind when i wrote it

mint leaves - catnip is in the mint family and some people says humans can get a mild high off smoking it

indie - this was about seeing mother mother live. the “he” is ryan

wind - probably masturbation but trying to explain the trip from point a to point b that i made here would get really complicated if i’m even recalling it correctly

lamp oil - amnesia: the dark descent. lamp oil is a resource in that game. player character hallucinates bugs and grinds his teeth when he spends too long in the dark

bombs - boss fight wheatley. the track that plays during that battle is called “bombs for throwing at you”

cucumber - i was thinking of items you could buy together at a supermarket that would disturb the cashier. a single cucumber, rope, and a paperback romance novel sends some interesting implications i think

columbia - no idea but one of my friends told me this is essentially the plot of bioshock infinite

kevin james - one of those paul blart mall cop memes involved the phrase “distant egg song!” and that’s what i was going off of

marigold - flowey

25-27 - since this looked like it was referring to three sequential questions on an askmeme i acted as though that’s what i was answering here. i don’t know why i chose the colors blue and orange; portals from the portal games are those colors but what with the other two responses in this post being undertale related i’m thinking maybe blue = sans and orange = papyrus

🙌 - reference to a (nsfw, i won’t link it) fanfic about sans smoking. i have a massive smoking kink so i think you can see why i’d find that emoji appropriate

syringe - this is a reference to a short story i wrote in high school. the association is that i think syringes were used to administer drugs to the protagonist

wine - almost positive there’s an audio log in the first bioshock game that’s a bit like this. even if there isn’t, there’s an area where a party has clearly gone down (lots of alcohol, splicers are dressed fancy) and that’s what it made me think of

glow - no idea

can of soda - i was thinking of a sprite can

amsterdam by imagine dragons - a song i don’t know; i used to be friends with this kid who was weirdly snobby about music and would condescend to me if i admitted to not knowing of a song or artist, so i wrote about that, kind of

apartments - “apartments are like cages” is a phrase that either i or someone else has used and i thought of that phrase and then i thought about cages and then i thought about johanna from sweeney todd and her one musical number

gold - this is about my paternal grandfather moving west as an adult. he didn’t move as part of the gold rush but that’s what i thought of first and then i thought about his moving to california so this was kind of a mix of the two concepts

sting - musical artist sting has got an album called brand new day and this was written thinking about the album art

lunar theatre - i’ve explained this one before but i wrote this while really sick around the time i first got diagnosed with lyme disease. i was sleeping most of the time and tired whenever i was awake. at the time i was also taking ativan (among other medications) and it made me very sleepy and out of it. the title comes from an art installation i saw once which basically looked like an artificial shoreline, which is where the ocean/water imagery comes from

tessellation - obvious maybe but repetition is part of the definition of the word

roses - james from team rocket, often carrying a rose

paris - this was a joke about egg hatching in pokemon x/y (the most efficient way to do it is to bike in circles repeatedly around the game’s version of the eiffel tower)

n - i feel like this is obvious too but it’s a joke about n harmonia from the 5th gen pokemon games

nature - i’m not sure how i got to talking about gelatin molds but have you seen some of the ones from the fifties and sixties? truly horrifying

berry - early on in x/y you’re put in charge of a berry field and then later you become champion (the league is at the top of a mountain). there are curtains in the champion’s room. idk i just thought about becoming champ and then abandoning the berry field since that’s basically what i did in-game

dogs - pretty literal, this is just my experience with pet dogs

q - this is a reference to a song from goddamn sesame street

teacup - malva has a butler, who presumably serves her tea sometimes. he battles you on her behalf once and his team is pretty powerful, but of course she’s elite four and would have him beat

guitar - at the time there were a lot of “wonderwall” memes that’s what i thought of

pine - pine trees, christmas trees, their lives are cut short but they get to dress up fancy for a few weeks, i don’t know

touch-me-not - fanfic i plotted out once but never actually finished writing. in it, bryony and celosia are using one of those remote-control vibrators (celosia was the one wearing it, and bryony had the remote, iirc) but if you remember team flare also used a remote to control the ultimate weapon and i loved the idea of getting the two remotes mixed up. all the higher-ups (save bryony and celosia, of course) are playing with the remote thinking it’s broken and trying to get it to work. meanwhile poor celosia is dying and the only one who notices is malva, who is the “she” in this piece, who deliberately starts messing with the remote to get a reaction out of bry + cel. i don’t remember how this fanfic was going to end but i think probably celosia would excuse herself to go to the bathroom (to, ahem, take care of herself) and malva would follow her in and then idk they’d fuck. listen i’ve had worse ideas

nightshade - i’m not sure how i got from the prompt to my fill but the fill is definitely about another fic i was working on involving a trainer who experiments on eevee trying to discover new eeveelutions

knives - my abuser had a “suicide attempt” (not really, he didn’t do anything except think about it, but that’s how he classed it iirc) where he planned on using a knife. also he wrote (bad) poetry once comparing me to a knife because idk i was mean for not wanting to fuck him probably

cake - it’s 2007 bro. memes bro. this was about portal bro

gameboy - self-explanatory i think but this was specifically a goof on ben drowned even though a lot of video game creepypasta start out this way

ruby - as in the pokemon game. this was about being a team magma grunt

cicada - i think this one is straightforward but in case it’s not, in my area you find dead cicadas all over the place in june

notebook - this was about harriet the spy

tree - based off of something that happened with me and my best friend when i was eleven or twelve

big ben - well, english clock towers... there’s a scene in a christmas carol where scrooge wakes up and hears the clock strike an hour it’s already struck and gets freaked and worries about the spirits coming to haunt him

cookie - i got a baby doll for christmas when i was a little kid and gave it to my younger sister bc she liked baby dolls and i didn’t. she named that doll cookie. this was general feels about being the Bad Child who Wasn’t Feminine

paint - straightforward again but this is about my parents’ house, the one we moved into when i was a young teen and where they still live with my little sister (and, currently, me). it was initially painted white and we repainted yellow a few years ago (i think after i had moved out to go to college). also that house still doesn’t feel like home to me in the same way our old house did

boots - god this is gonna take a lot of explaining but in the underland chronicles, second book, gregor (protagonist) is separated from his baby sister (nicknamed boots) after, iirc, the boat they’re in capsizes and they get washed into the nearby catacombs by the waves. he assumes she’s drowned since she’s a toddler and can’t swim. it’s basically his blue screen of death moment and he spends the next part of the book feeling totally dead inside, like a machine, no emotion no empathy. this scene fucked me up bad when i first read it aged about nine

freckles - i think this is obvious but just in case, this is about me (formerly) hating my freckles

egg - aforementioned fic about eevee experimentation was maybe going to involve unethical forced hatching of eevee eggs by cracking them open before they’re ready. i was basically thinking of every sick thing you could do to a pokemon to try and force an evolution

fairy - same fic. the protagonist has a shiny eevee that she gives special treatment and thinks is going to evolve into something special bc no evolution method she’s tried has worked on it. it was to be revealed later that her “special” eevee had actually just swallowed an everstone, and, immediately upon operating to remove said everstone, eevee evolved into sylveon

orange - as a small child i was allergic to oranges. the only memory i have of having an allergic reaction was breaking out in hives and going down our creaky old staircase, which felt big and intimidating to me as a little kid, to tell my parents about it

yuri - i thought of a favorite f/f pairing of mine, bryony/celosia, and in particular the scene that got me to ship it. in that scene, you battle celosia (who acts very woe-is-me upon being defeated) and bryony immediately springs to her (girl)friend’s defense

mitochondria - i learned the word from the sequel to a wrinkle in time, in which charles wallace gets really sick with some sort of mitochondrial disease and his older sister meg tries to save him by like astral projecting inside his mitochondria or something. god that book was weird

a gigantic rubber duck - when she was a baby someone gave my sister a gigantic rubber duck (which she adored, i think we still have it somewhere) and so this was about how i felt about having a new sibling

electricity - eevee fic again. rival character in the fic was an electric-type trainer. this was about the convention of trainers locking eyes and then battling

feverish - fevers as sex metaphor somehow??? i guess because fevers, like sex, often leave you sweaty. eleven was when i had my first wet dream and eighteen was when i listened to that “naegi with a fever” audio and got real gay

anger - metaphor again. i really did make a glass paperweight one time, on a class trip to a glass museum. my abuser and i were off-again with our friendship at the beginning of that trip and on-again by the end of it but there was still, i think, unresolved anger on both sides. that’s the association. i don’t know how to explain what i was thinking here beyond that

mosquitos - “petty annoyances” is just what i think of mosquitos and then i guess i just went from there. “bigger than i am but you know when to kneel” might have been my abuser again. he was, indeed, bigger than me but he got down on his knees begging me to be his friend again right at the end of things between us lol. honestly it was the most compelling thing he ever did

laundry basket - i thought about dirty laundry and then about worrying my clothes smelled dirty or that i smelled dirty and like, obsessively bathing because someone wanted to come over and have sex with me and i was just barely not a virgin at that point and had no idea what i was doing and was freaked out over the whole thing

cow - i took a year of spanish and for some reason the only thing i actually learned was how to say “where is the cow” and “the cow is here” which are not actually useful phrases in most contexts