#idk like lol im already kinda shy myself so when a shy kid comes up to me im like. how do i act

[oflgtfol]

hands on my knees im actually working 58 hours this week

[rqs902]

qcyn ep 11 -- can you believe the finale is tomorrow?!?

this whole texting section was so funnyyyy and i will honorably mention yet again that yao chi texting mc jin in english is so sweet

li ronghao torturing xu longhan iS HIALRIOSUS 

 but i also pity the poor child LOOL

wait can we talk about chen tao’s spelling timao LOL

and chen sijian’s face LOLLL

omg yao mingming’s message is so aww... he mentions liking yixing since he debuted in 2012.......

omgggg fjj and wang yi theyre all so cute and screamy and i loveee 

WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LIN MO AND WANG YI’S HAPPY DANCE

oh gosh the8 is really showing us how hard seventeen works to get their choreo super in sync wow they really must work so hard.... wow minghao giving up the center position bc he knows how important this is to these kids... he deserves more recognition as a great mentor wow

oh my goodness.......... li zhenning’s voice shaking as he says to shi mingze “if you can get into top 20, then you’ll have hope” is.... the most heartbreaking......... knowing that shi mingze doesnt.......... they literally were smiling as they went off into this corner to talk and are crying by the time they come out..... can you just imagine how much sadness and stress is constantly looming over these kids’ heads and tearing down at their mental health?? its all hidden and suppressed, but with really fragile borders, so as soon as you pick at the walls, their raw emotions come bursting through... 

this just reminds me that even tho shi mingze is their cool, handsome leader, hes still the youngest in bg project............

can we please talk about how considerate of a friend li zhenning is and has been?? 

and this all took place before zhenning ever ranked into top 9.... so to them, this opportunity wouldve been really important for zhenning too, bc maybe he wouldve really needed it to get into top 9. but at least we know now.... he has enough popularity that they made the correct choice and hopefully more people will notice shi mingze as a result

ZHAN YU’S ARMSSSSSSSSS bo yuan’s hair!! i really like it!!!! wen yechen in pink!!!!!! his voice is so addicting i just wanna hear more of it... it dont matter that zhenning isnt center, he still shines :)) wait wu zelin’s voice i really liked it in retreat and we get even more vocal-like wu zelin here! thats a realy nice purple on qunfeng, hes really rocking this look SHI MINGZE I SAW THAT WINK frick minghao’s dancing is just so satisfying to watch wowow

man he looks so good

wow i live for random zhan yu reactions (imma just collect them here LOL)

after journey and mc jin’s friendship is so cute hahahaha

ok i see why elle thinks chen tao is a visual

wang zhe and wu chengze have both really improved in their stage presence throughout the course of this show aw deng chaoyuan looks the happiest we’ve ever seen him on stage haha zhou shiyuan’s voice is really so cool 

i guess we’ll never find out why gu landi is in mc jin’s group..... is it bc yao chi is here? im sorry i love this song and i love a lot of the kids in this group but can you just imagine how much better this stage would’ve been if it were with more kids who had experience rapping....? last year’s “zero” stage just made such a bigger impression on me...... this is actually really such a contrast im---

ALKSJDLAKSJDLK CHEN SIJIAN’S RAPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE JUST DID THATT!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT!??!?!1//!ASDLKJALSKJJ OMGGOHS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! CHEN SIJIAN JUST BLEW EVERYOEN OUT OF THE WATER YOU BEST BET HE DID WOWOW HE JSUT I CANT BELEIEVE HE JSUT INCLUDED AT LEAST 4 NAMES WOW 

IM WEN YECHEN

chen sijian is really the best at writing raps about his bros wow and like also he has the most creative lyrics i really appreciate wow such talent hes amazing!!!

a lost baby..

UNDERAPPRECIATED GU LANDI VISUALS

the face of a legend 

ever since i saw the “time” ballad version, ive had a sneaking suspicion that lin yuzhi is secretly one of the strongest vocalists on this show..... this is the face of talent

idk whose outfit is distracting me more, xu bingchao or xixi’s LOL shao haofan looks so nice here wow and ding feijun is so adorable even tho this is a more mature concept but i still cant see him as anything but a cute child

maybe its the way they cut up the lines but idk this song didnt really show off their vocal abilities that well..... sorry xixi :( i think xixi’s voice deserved better time to shine on this show...... his and feng junjie’s voices are actually both so nice i was so impressed when i saw them singing in the oaca clips

this koala ad makes me very uncomfortable......

wenhan reaches into the box and pulls out..... costco brand blueberries??!?!?/1 hHhahahhahHAHAHHA 

lol yao chi being so sentimental... oh look at this photo of me with bubbles on my face (me: oh no here it come--) OH YEA ALSO CHECK OUT THIS FACE WASH!

wow kou cong!! a face i havent seen in a while aw! i cant believe they filmed all the yaa eps while they all still had colorful hair lol i guess ill never get to see lin mo on yaa /sigh/ or actually any of the tyger members cept jia yi.........

HAHAHAHAHHA YESSSSSSSSS THEY INCLUDED A CLIP OF CHEN SIJIAN’S PHONE CALL !!!! HIS WAS HILARIOUSS!!!! HAHAHAHA I LOVED HOW SIMILAR HIS FAN SEEMED TO BE TO HIM HAHAH 

AAHH AS SOON AS IT GETS TO LIN MO’S ITS THE SAD MUSIC TIME

his was the most heartwarming call.... no bias LOL

feng junjie singing “the great artist” just---

this boy will never stop with the meme faces hHAHAHA

im surprised this section was so short lol i was expecting them to spend more time on this group...

SUN ZELIN SUN ZELIN SUN ZELIN YEA

jolin’s eyes are so wow 

feng junjie with the voice!!!!!!1 

JOLIN THE QUEEN

still kinda wish jia yi had more opportunity to sing on this show......... hes like second main vocalist to zhan yu in tyger but i feel like he hasnt gotten to show his voice much :( he did really well tho!!! he really has impressive stage presence

omg lin mo’s super shy “1 day” ahhhhh 

omg wang jiayi looks like hes about to cry... the poor child....

yixing reaching out to apologize to them.... hes really so caring towards them...... wang jiayi just needs more confidence!! i believe in him too

where did lin mo get this white cap from? lol he chose the pink one..... on a related note, im so happy lin mo got to be in yixing’s group, bc from the beginning with namanana hes really really tried so hard to earn yixing’s recognition, im sure it means a lot to him to be able to learn from him like this and share a stage with him 

yao mingming too, i feel like he really values yixing’s recognition as well

i think all the kids in this group had to have known that picking yixing’s group would be the most tiring and require the most effort, but i think choosing this group regardless just really shows they came here to learn 

A HAPPY BABYYY

omg like yixing is really /teaching/ them and i appreciate that

lin mo and xu fangzhou’s voices!!!!!!

OOF IM SO READY FOR THIS OUTFIT 

ASLDKALSDKJLAK HE WINKED!!!!!!!!!!!

what is this awkward closeup

why does fangzhou have wings lol

i feel like theres a lot of random awkward closeups of lin mo.... should i be happy about this??? LOL i dont think theyre all very flattering but at the same time at least hes got closeups....???? ? ??  

OOF HES GETTING MORE LINES THAN I EXPECTED TOO

you know how ive talked about how i love how much detail lin mo puts into his dancing, including even his slight head tilts? LOOK ANOTHER HEAD TILT 

HAHAHAHHAHA GUAN YUE’S EYES GOT SO BIG HAHAHHAHA OMGGG

ooof lin mo getting to sing the chorus with yixing im !!!!!! im sure hes so grateful for this opportunity wow also i think i mentioned this with namanana but i really think lin mo suits yixing’s dance style, like its a style that hes pulls off really well, so i think he got to shine a bit in this performance :’)

ok i havent said this yet but what is with that thick black fade at the top of the screen its so annoying??? like why you gotta cover the top of their heads??? 

wow we’re really getting a lot of random lin mo shots hahahha is this iqiyi repenting their wrongs from ‘spirit of the knight’ i almost am surprised how yao mingming isnt getting the most screentime but then i remember iqiyi has never favored yao mingming........ /sigh

AYYY WENXUAN AND LIN MO THE BUDDIES

just look at how perfectly tilted / well-positioned lin mo’s head is wow and that gaze wow i just love his stage presence

yea im gonna have to rewatch this perf to gif the lin mo moments.... maybe after the finale tomorrow when ill be like oop lin mo didnt make it in oh well let me just wallow in his talent that the audience slept on by drowning myself in lin mo content (its not like i do that every day already)

LOL THAT CAMERA SPIN WAS SUCH A FAIL YOU CANT SEE ANYONE CEPT WENXUAN ADJUSTING HIS MIC HAHAHHAHA ok on a side note tho im glad wenxuan got to be in this group too!! yuehua’s dancer getting to show us his dancing again :’) and we all know he was discouraged being reshuffled into “maze” and i just wanna say wenxuan deserves more credit for being able to really go out of his comfort zone and pull off the cute concept in “maze” well even tho he didnt want to accept it at first! 

HES PERFECT 

hey yall is it just me or did you see lin mo’s eyes in that really fast flashy bit at the end of the preview for the finale? HAHHAHAHA i couldnt even screenshot it bc it was so fast, but i swear i saw his eyes so i think he was in it LOOOL

JSUT KIDDING I WENT BACK AND TRIED AGAIN AND I GOT IT

I KNEW I SAW HIS EYES HAHAHAHHAHA

oo i havent mentioned this before but i really like the sound of chen sijians voice, even when speaking... 

OMG GU LANDI

OMGGGG MY CHILD YE ZIMING IN FREAKING TARZAN NEXT DOOR??!???

THIS IS TOO MUCH!!!!!!! THANKS FOR REMINDING US HOW IQIYI TOTALLY SLIGHTED THIS BOY OUT OF GETTING INTO TOP 35

aw honestly i wonder if lian huaiwei will really not make it tomorrow.....  

omg sun zelin in the ending credits!!!!

OMG ZHAN YU TOOOOOOO

OOF LOOK AT ZHAN YU’S JAWLINE (ooops sorry yechen ahhahhhaa)

they must really like this part of the choreo?? 

BUT I LOVE THIS LOOK ON YECHEN YESSS

lol is this lin mo’s back

tbh im surprised they didnt include lin mo in the ending credits but i think they were trying to make up for the loss of yao mingming time earlier LOOL 

ok well i have about 10 hrs until i gotta wake up to watch the finale so.... now to go watch fjj and hcx’s goodnight dachang HAHAH

[malibu-92]

I dare you to answer all of them but skip the ones you've already answered

LETS DO THISthe numbers didn’t copy & i’m not going thru & adding them again fight meAA means already answered i guess

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

AA

is your room messy or clean?

messy always

what color are your eyes?

blue!!

do you like your name? why?

i love it!! i think it’s pretty & uncommon

what is your relationship status?

lol

describe your personality in 3 words or less

awkward but confident

what color hair do you have?

naturally brown but it’s dyed auburn red!

what kind of car do you drive? color?

none lol

where do you shop?

my mom buys me clothes from kohl’s & jcpenney if i had a job & therefore my own money to spend i’d buy all of my clothes from this vintage thrift store downtown that i love

how would you describe your style?

AA

favorite social media account

tumblr or pinterest

what size bed do you have?

twin

any siblings?

in theory

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

minnesota cuz it’s cold & there’s hippo campus

favorite snapchat filter?

i don’t have snapchat so idk

favorite makeup brand(s)

AA

how many times a week do you shower?

AA

favorite tv show?

the x files

shoe size?

9.5

how tall are you?

5’9”

sandals or sneakers?

sneakers

do you go to the gym?

AA

describe your dream date

concert

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

uhh i think a $20 & some change

what color socks are you wearing?

black & pink

how many pillows do you sleep with?

AA

do you have a job? what do you do?

i babysit occasionally but nah

how many friends do you have?

idk enough

whats the worst thing you have ever done?

exist tbh

whats your favorite candle scent?

hm probably rose but i also really like apple, pumpkin & vanilla scents

3 favorite boy names

idk but i rly like the name blaise

3 favorite girl names

there are so many to choose from…… i like names that start with k

favorite actor?

??? i don’t pay much attention to actors oof

favorite actress?

AA

who is your celebrity crush?

zach sutton

favorite movie?

AA

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i used to all the time but i barely have time anymore!! my 2 faves are lord of the flies & to kill a mockingbird

money or brains?

AA

do you have a nickname? what is it?

momo & pieps

how many times have you been to the hospital?

zero for myself but i’ve visited other people like maybe 7 or 8 times

top 10 favorite songs

AA

do you take any medications daily?

AA

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

AA

what is your biggest fear?

AA

how many kids do you want?

AA

whats your go to hair style?

AA

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

AA

who is your role model?

AA

what was the last compliment you received?

AA

what was the last text you sent?

AA

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

i cant remember honestly maybe like 9 or smth? i just kinda made that up

what is your dream car?

like a vintage volkswagen anything

opinion on smoking?

lung cancer

do you go to college?

im 16

what is your dream job?

writer

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

neither i wanna live downtown somewhere

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

yea

do you have freckles?

i don’t have a ton on my face but my arms are covered

do you smile for pictures?

yup

how many pictures do you have on your phone?

sooo many

have you ever peed in the woods?

nah

do you still watch cartoons?

when i babysit yea & i would definitely still watch the show gravity falls if it hadn’t ended

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

i’ve never tried wendys nuggs actually

Favorite dipping sauce?

bbq

what do you wear to bed?

one of my dad’s old t-shirts w shorts in the summer & fuzzy pants in the winter

have you ever won a spelling bee?

ish? i won a classroom spelling bee & i was supposed to go to like a local competition but i had a more important conflict

what are your hobbies?

reading & writing poetry, journaling, singing, dancing

can you draw?

kinda

do you play an instrument?

my own vocal chords

what was the last concert you saw?

i haven’t been to one in sooooo long omg. all the somewhat good bands have been at bars that i’m not allowed to go to & all my faves haven’t come to my city :/so it was the buzz beach ball music festival in kansas city in september, where i saw middle kids, marian hill, spoon, hippo campus & foster the people

tea or coffee?

coffee

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

starbucks

do you want to get married?

at this point in time, no. very much subject to change

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

um i’m still trying to decide if the extremely slight & vague feelings i may or may not have qualify as a crush or not but for the sake of this question we’ll say they do & go with: c. h.

are you going to change your last name when you get married?

depends on their last name lol

what color looks best on you?

blue or burgundy i think

do you miss anyone right now?

yes

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

open cuz we have bad circulation upstairs

do you believe in ghosts?

undecided

what is your biggest pet peeve?

people saying “awww” with that stupid ass fake sympathetic smile when i tell them smth im upset about

last person you called?

my mom

favorite ice cream flavor?

mint chip

regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular duh i’m not a barbarian

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

rainbow

what shirt are you wearing?

im wearing a blue & purple striped turtleneck

what is your phone background?

rn its a pic i took of a box of colorful sequins cuz i thought it was christmasy im probably gonna change it soon

are you outgoing or shy?

depends on who i’m with & how much caffeine i’ve had but usually shy i guess

do you like it when people play with your hair?

NO IF YOU TOUCH MY HAIR & I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU & YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY

do you like your neighbors?

it’s about half & half. i have a good friend who lives across the street from me & i live by some nice old people but i also have some neighbors who are complete assholes.

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

at night yea

have you ever been high?

nah

have you ever been drunk?

nah

last thing you ate?

a rolo

favorite lyrics right now

“try to live up to the person you pretend to be” from mr. know-it-all by young the giant is a solid life motto

summer or winter?

winter

day or night?

night

dark, milk, or white chocolate?

milk

favorite month?

AA

what is your zodiac sign

sagittarius

who was the last person you cried in front of?

my parents i think

[abynauts]

Brain, y r u liek this?

errr hallo, i just did something impulsively that my brain told me to...

I guess out of curiosity and its the final year in college so, well i chatted two guys lol WUT IS WRONG WITH ME?? Gahd why did i go overboard... or im just overthinking things hehe

so GUY A, i greeted him happy birthday on chat cuzzzz it was his birthday duh but, well the whole day, he pointed my head while i was waiting for my friend at the washroom (well i was waiting outside whilst sitting on the floor and busy with ma phone) and did it for the second time, i guess this time, totally pressing it... probably to get my attention while calling my name. And i said ‘hey’ without looking at him. Just to lol respond a bit idk y the heck i am so dem shy, especially when it comes to boys... im not close to him, but the gestures he gives sometimes haha its funny and i get to think about those than other stressful stuff. Well at least for a brief moment. Then he went inside the org’s office, which was adjacent to the washroom im waiting at.

Then he went out and called me out, and I looked at him (that make face asking ‘wut?’) and he said ‘nothing’. Well... idk but im assuming, WUTS WITH THAT??? playing my hair and getting my attention then nothing. There’s probably something there bro. Like i know those gestures, pinching my arms out of nowhere, getting my attention out of nowhere, idk maaaan i hate assuming does he likes me (ooh the idea just creeps me, but not in a bad way)... 

well, there’s this weird thing about me, where when it comes to boys... if i feel like they seem amazed or akjfajkshfakjshfaf-attracted?? or having a crush on me, im just... don’t want to. interact. with. them. Well when you like someone, you want to talk to them, and here i am, closing the possibilities of that happening xD SNOB THEM, SNOB IS LIFE xD gahd but im curious really... even when it is ‘like’ to be friends because idk just friends, if my friends are not friends with that person and like creating a new bridge of friends, its difficult. Its tiring to handle new people who you don’t know how they act xD so yea... that’s that

Then when i got home, gahd I AM FULLY AWARE THE WHOLE DAY THAT IT IS THEIR BIRTHDAY AND I just did not greeted them WHEN EVERYONE IN CLASS ARE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOL like play it cool play it cool just ignore and poof my brain just said

brain: greet them happy birthday me: if i do that, i’m responsible for responding after that... like chat them out of the blue brain: cuz its their birthday, u have a reason me: i hate u brain: well u know wut happens when u do nothing, nothing happens, try it me: y u do dis brain: practice wut u preach gurl

and here we are, i greeted GUY A happy birthday. And he said thanks and a follow up ‘u were cute earlier’. And just played it cool, laughed over it and told him to enjoy the day cuz its his day. Then he replied ‘u never chatted me before and we’ve been blockmates most of the time so’ and i told him cuz its his birthday and we’re at the pinnacle of our college life. I was too honest, but nothing to say, I’m really curious bout the dude’s response... like is he sincere? Like wuts with the random gestures? then i told him he was hard to approach (so i guess i close the door for that back then) then he replied ‘cuz i’m an introvert so...’ then i said ‘oh haha’.... no reply... DID I OFFEND HIM???????? i didn’t meant it liek its not bad to be an introvert xD im kinda a bit of introvert, but ya hyperactive when u get to know me ;_; so that happened

NEXT GUY B, well............ my friend likes him xD so when she tells something about him, i get to listen to all about him xD and yea he sounds dreamy. I don’t go close with someone’s crush cuz bruh i am aware of someone’s POV lol so yea... i dont want to cause confusion ._. i never interacted with him so...

but here’s the thing, i talked to him once... i was early for a block dance practice cuz there’s a punishment when u late (treat the whole class water, water was gold back then), and he came next... just the two of us xD and i just acted myself. IDK Y BUT WHEN I’M WITH ONE-ON-ONE WITH SOMEONE, I’M JUST ME... BUT IF THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHOM I KNOW, I’M just gonna huddle with the people i just know.

so i had that interaction with him, he was funny lol cuz he also look snobbish, GUY A and B are friends... runs within their group i guess?? but that was the last proper conversation alone hehe

after that... there were gestures xD he moved my bag away from the sun (which i kent find my bag where it was??), he attempted to make a conversation (but i snobbed him off... cuz that’s was when my friend liked him). I may forget other happenings... I remember we attended bible study (our prof brought his youth to class and invited the class who wanted to) and there we are listening to word of God, then when it was time to pray for everyone who attended to accept the salvation they have shared... THE AC WAS SO COLD and my hands really got easily cold, and he was opposite of me... so I said ‘sorry, my hands are really cold’... idk y, but i wanted my friend to be on my seat, so she gets to hold his hand... then he held my cold freezing hand and said ‘i’ll get them warm’... my heart... skipped a beat xD i feel so guilty in front of God and my friend but that’s where it really... really scared me, for feeling like this. Then for the general assembly (GA) for the whole college, we’re suppose to perform and one of it is dancing... he asked me to be his partner, when my friend was not there and in front of the other people practicing. Well, i was thrilled a bit (ugh the guilty pang), but i know the whole group were expecting him and my friend were partners... plus i was practicing with someone else already. Idk y my friend backout the dance and my partner wanted to pair with someone else with the audience???? so yea... i guess i had to say yes... i don’t know how to tell my friend, but i tried my best to act uninterested... but i guess it shows a bit?? i never danced with him during practice, while others are practicing cuz they’re couples in reality... and its a slow dance haha u can do anything u want, y practice right??

Before the performance, we were telling each other the steps lol because yea we never practiced xD and i told him ‘okay, you can hold my waist and twirl me once, but i’ll also do that too to you okay???’ and he just laughed and weird out i guess and said ‘okay?’... seriously, I feel liek i shouldn’t be being like this, but because of that one time talking to him for the first time back then, i want him to feel that old atmosphere, that this is me... the playful me... the not snobbish me...

And during the performance, we were the only one SPINNING, LIKE EVERYONE WERE REALLY DANCING SLOW... and we just danced merrily lol (we... didn’t really practiced and it shows lol) and gosh... i didn’t know he was that tall... i have a thing for tall human beings (curse u kpop for raising my standards) he looked manly, when he leads me... i just have to follow wherever he takes me. It was wow... i was laughing the whole time, laughing at his face, his smiling face, up close to his smiling face... and when he twirled me, i looked at my friend and her partner (she joined last minutes idk y but at least she there, she a great dancer so I was thinking Y DID U LEAVE, U WERE SUPPOSE THE ONE DANCING HERE) well... they were all really in slow dance mode. Now it was my turn to take his waist HAHAHAHAHA seriously to break the tension, to break something that i am feeling inside, that this is just a friendly dance. I remember looking down and notice how long his feet was haha... deng it im falling hard from the dance lol then when the dance ends, all the boys give paper roses to the ladies, and WELL THAT ROSE WAS ON HIS MOUTH THE WHOLE DANCE, probably the stem is wet from (my gahd). So i just accepted it lol and i attempted to return it to him after he was done doing the male group dance. I’m glad that he said that i keep it :)

but the sad thing was, my camera, which was suppose to film the whole performance, went low batt... and when it dies while videoing, the whole video wont be saved unless u stop it. I cried after knowing that, because it was the last GA dance because we gonna graduate this school year... also knowing that, all that dance... will be just a memory. I can see how my friend didn’t seem to care about me crying for reason 1, she... must be jealous for dancing with her crush... gahd im so guilty but i just wept... sad and all and let them all head home, cuz they were using my dad’s classroom (yup he a professor at my university). it was special for me :> also when the practice was happening, he wanted to dance with me but i said no while videoing the performance... but i forgot to press record -_- really meant to be a memory ugh

where was I?? GUY B was also his birthday today, so I greeted him at chat ‘happy chinese new year!!’ cuz i always assumed that feb. 19 is chinese new year IDK Y but ever since i was a kid, so yea. Before that, we drank milk tea with him yesterday and yea they said it was his birthday the next day so i told him about that info. He replied ‘u really pushing that event haha thanks (nickname) huehue’ then i said ‘welcome’. hoping to end the conversation fast cuz scared... of this guilty feeling from back then. My friend also likes someone else nao, but yeaa who knows, she liked GUY B for so long, it don’t just fade that fast... Then he replied ‘where’s my rice cake then?’, then i just joked him that we didn’t have any cuz only i know within the family that its chinese new year today lol (im so downtown cornykillme). Then he replied ‘You’re the only one who greeted me this way today hahahahaha’... me, being an overthinker, remembering my friend and her pure feelings back then and me shielding wutever feeling i may have for him, replied:

erase erase erase happy birthday!

and he replied ‘okok. haha. thanks’ big happy face emoji :) me: big smiling face emoji :D

i feel so ordinary after that... he probably replied everyone with the same thank you when they greet him...

I... in my mind, i don’t want me to be that someone who greeted him weirdly in his birthday, that makes me notable among the people who greeted him today... I am not dense to his actions back then, I had to act that I was dense and don’t care... But I am seriously affected with him being gentleman... Like one time, I was just walking while typing on ma phone and not watching my way... but he was also walking along with us, and he pushed me cuz I was about to hit the pole/column... I dont really care if I get hit, my friends would probably let it happen and laugh about it and i laugh about it too cuz not a lot of people hit themselves on a pole because of ignorance. But really... I appreciate that haha dem it... I also remember that one time, I was taking a picture of the male dance group they were making a parody of, so I was standing on the arm chairs, and balancing myself. Its dangerous I know, BUT I CAN GET A PROPER ANGLE FROM THERE and my friend is busy but also on the same room. So i almost got unbalanced trying to get that perfect angle, and wow he really moved fast and held the arm chair in place... fudge... it hurts feeling this way...

I can’t tell my friends how I feel... cuz, i feel illegal wutever I am feeling for him... I remember when he appreciated my drawings... how he saves me from obstructions lol how does he do it???? im fine with getting hurt, but thanks man. If ever, he feels something for me and tells me (haha i play the scenario most of the time when im bored thinking of other stuff), I’ll reject him... cuz my friend likes him. But nao... it’s different. My friend doesn’t like him anymore but... still... I know the right way is to reject him. It hurts but... I guess no matter wut I do, he will be just a memory haha...