#idk ppl who genuinely think it’s unrequited are weird

[gregmarriage]

on a tomgreg betrayal, i honestly don’t think it will actually happen. the chances of it genuinely happening seem very slim. i think there’s probably gonna be the possibility offered to one or both of them, one or both of them will get scared the other will actually go through with it (most likely, tom will be worried that greg will turn against him somehow) honestly? i just imagine a boar on the floor style situation where it’s tense and there’s a moment where you think one of them will betray the other, but they don’t. this later solidifies their relationship and could perhaps lead into the meaty stuff, i.e, the romantic side of things.

[lesbugs-advice]

friend confessed to a crush on me but i turned her down. it was two months ago, we're still friends. i am wondering if she still feels that way. she showed some interest in other ppl and never said she didnt move on, but i have suspicions thats not the case bc of some other things. anyway i noticed i feel slightly nervous and uncomfortable when she comments on my appearence or attractiveness bc idk if these are friend comments or smth more, and idk. should i ask if shes still crushing?

[same anon also i am a lesbiab, i just wasnt intersted in her romantically. im not a straight homophobic girl who feels uncomfortable among wlws. just wanted to clear that up. love ur blog!]

Hi! Thanks! :) 

So, for whether or not you should ask her, I think it really depends on your relationship!

My gut reaction is to tell you not to- unless she’s a super confident person, she’s probably at least a little embarrassed about confessing to you/being turned down. She might be trying to keep things the way they were, and is trying to move on with her feelings, but even if she is, she might not be totally over you, and sometimes there’s nothing anybody can do about that. Feelings are so weird and it takes some time. I’d be worried that asking her if she’s still crushing would lead to a awkward situation. 

If I were you, I’d evaluate why the comments are making you uncomfortable. If it’s because they’re kind of sexual (ie. comments on your body/parts of your body or something else that you wouldn’t read as a regular, normal comment from a friend) then you are definitely in the right to tell her that those comments make you uncomfortable. If they’re compliments about your outfit, or your hair, or something along that vein, I’d suggest just taking them as friend comments, no matter what they are? She knows you’re not interested in her, so she’s probably not looking to confess again. As someone with experience with unrequited crushes on friends, more likely than not, she’s just genuinely complimenting you, and not thinking too much about if it’s platonic or not. (idk if that makes sense?) 

Yeah, so, this probably wasn’t the answer you were looking for? But I really think asking her if she’s still crushing on you would make a situation that might already be awkward for her even more so. However, you’re the one who knows her, and not me, and if you think asking her is a good idea/her comments are kinda inappropriate, you should do what you think is right. 

Best of luck!

[satoruvt]

idk not one reason in particular.... jus.... been goin thru it lately and i kind of wanted to know if you’ve had experiences like that.... ur writing is so beautiful, so i guess i thought it would bring me comfort to potentially see u write abt that if it makes sense — personal experience or fiction u know (*´꒳`*)

🥺 yeah aight i get it. ive definitely had experiences with it, thankfully not super often, but it has happened lol. honestly as cheesy as it sounds i really... i am grateful that i've had to deal with it? like i don't know, it's just. ok hold on HAHA

so in like 2018 i started talking to this guy (ppl who have been following me since then might remember who i'm talking about lol) and we started dating like the very beginning of 2019. it wasn't my first experience with unrequited love, but it... oh man having to experience it while in a relationship was really horrible, it made me feel so... mm, lost? like i felt like i could count on this guy and knowing that he didn't care for me the same way i did - and figuring that OUT, first understanding it - while we were dating... i didn't know what to do at all. and it ended really badly after that, but honestly... even just a month? maybe a little more? after he asked me out i just KNEW, somehow, and we still held on for another two months or so for god knows why.

but despite him genuinely treating me like shit and going through that, i don't think i'd take back feeling that way. i cant exactly say why? but i just know that if i did it again i wouldn't change much, if anything at all. he did some really shit things to me and obviously i'd change how i dealt with and reacted to those things, but the whole thing as a whole... i don't know. i don't want to seem like i'm romanticizing being treated like shit because no one deserves to go through that in a relationship and i don't want anyone to go through it but. having gone through it, not really knowing any better, i wouldn't change it. i don't know, i cant explain it really well. but i know i wouldn't be who i am like RIGHT NOW if it hadn't happened, and i don't like to think about that because i'm finally content with myself and i don't want to ruin that.

unrequited feelings... they're hard to navigate. really hard, especially when you, like. label them as what they are? acknowledge them. and you have to tell yourself that it's best to move on, but i think what people do a lot (myself included, once or twice) is push them away when it might be best to just feel them in full. whether in multiple waves or a giant tsunami, i think to let yourself feel like that is really admirable and respectable... to be vulnerable is a beautiful thing, regardless of how it comes, i think.

anyways that's my take on it haha, it's changed a lot recently but i think this is how i'm gonna feel about it for a while. hopefully this provides you a bit of comfort (in the weird ways stuff like this always does) as you're running through the motions, the little waves or the big one. i hope you heal, however long it takes, and i hope that healing makes you warm <3